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Standing on one leg 8

Posted on December 13, 2012 by

The office is the coldest room in my house. Facing north it doesn't get a lot of sunlight, and the radiator is directly underneath the window, so much of what heat it generates disappears outside immediately. So I have a little halogen heater to keep the place cosy in winter, which also gives off a bright and pleasant firesidey glow and saves you having to turn the light on then wait 45 minutes for the useless "energy-saving" piece of shit to actually reach some sort of vaguely worthwhile level of illumination.

(Never mind about the Iraq war – I'd put Tony fucking Blair in prison for the rest of his life just for robbing us of proper lightbulbs, the wanker.)

The heater has three replaceable halogen elements. This is the process for replacing one of them (click to see the whole thing):

I have two questions for the manufacturers.

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The Olympic enclosures 1

Posted on July 25, 2012 by

As the sun made its first appearance of the summer at the weekend, Wings over Sealand wasn’t slow off the mark. On the “B” of the “BANG!”, we leapt onto a train for a scenic two-hour journey to the seaside, specifically the lovely south-coast town of Weymouth. It’s a remarkable place, changing character every time you turn a corner.

The front is a traditional resort promenade, with beaches and ice-cream stands and arcades. Just behind it is a picturesque working harbour town, tatty fishing boats mingling with some extremely fancy millionaires’ yachts. (Don’t miss the tasty and gigantic battered faggots at Bennett’s On The Waterfront fish and chip shop, by the way, the closest thing you’ll find to haggis in an English chippy and heavenly with a splash of onion vinegar.) Adjacent to both is a scruffy but bustling town centre, almost entirely free of the empty shops littering every other urban conurbation in Britain.

And if you embark on about five minutes’ leisurely stroll from the western end of the prom or the busy, noisy harbour and marina, you’ll find the town’s only sizeable area of public green space, in the form of the beautiful and peaceful oasis that is The Nothe.

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Flame wars 7

Posted on May 20, 2012 by

As huge crowds of primitive villagers turn out to marvel at some fire this weekend, here's some old-fashioned journalism to ponder. Click the image to read the article.

Enjoy the torch (possibly the last spectacle invented by Adolf Hitler to still be regularly performed and celebrated), and the two weeks of the Games while they last. Try not to get sick, in either sense of the term. Try not to be alarmed if anyone sticks a missile battery on your roof (and slaps an eviction order on you for making a fuss about it or for just not being lucrative enough), or a sonic cannon, or by the bored police with machine guns hanging around your train station waiting to shoot anyone who tries to protest or take an unlicenced beverage or snack into one of the state-of-the-art stadia.

Enjoy all the top events (on telly, unless you're a corporate sponsor), and as Boris Johnson gallivants around turning them into a giant Tory showpiece, take a moment out to give thanks to Tony Blair and the rest of Labour for making it all possible (with our money, of course) for him. Who needs hospitals and schools anyway?

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    • Young Lochinvar on Seven Days Too Long: “FFS What is up with you lot? Vote ATLS. Simple. “Independence, nothing else”. Isn’t that what we are crying out…Apr 30, 23:49
    • Rob on Seven Days Too Long: “I did vote for Fergus, its not that I don’t like what the SNP used to stand for, its more…Apr 30, 23:27
    • Alf Baird on Seven Days Too Long: “The Crown as relating to the Kingdom of England seems clear enough, an thars nae doubt thon Croun is whit…Apr 30, 22:31
    • James on Seven Days Too Long: “Dan; I’m south Scotland and have an ATLS choice on the list so they will get my vote, sadly there…Apr 30, 22:12
    • Mark Beggan on Seven Days Too Long: “I think Scotland is about to become the land that time forgot.Apr 30, 21:17
    • Cynicus on Seven Days Too Long: “If you can, vote for Fergus Ewing. #No Votes SNP.Apr 30, 21:13
    • Cynicus on Seven Days Too Long: “If you van, vote for Fergus Ewing. #No Votes SNP.Apr 30, 21:12
    • diabloandco on Seven Days Too Long: “Please , please go and vote – spoil your ballot paper if no-one appeals – but please vote as even…Apr 30, 21:11
    • Dan on Seven Days Too Long: “The trouble is James, that after 10 years and two Scottish parliament elections, there is now a choice of voting…Apr 30, 21:06
    • Doug on Seven Days Too Long: “Our only hope for independence is Farage becoming PM in England.Apr 30, 21:02
    • Doug on Seven Days Too Long: “A leader with any integrity would resign. So, aye, Swinney will remain as leader. The gutless memebership will probably beg…Apr 30, 21:00
    • James on Seven Days Too Long: “Are you not missing the point? Agree to disagree on anything and everything except; Independence, nothing else nothing less. That’s…Apr 30, 20:23
    • Confused on Seven Days Too Long: “pessimism is just playing the odds, but it makes for a dull life 1. england is swallowed beneath the waves…Apr 30, 19:33
    • Potace on Seven Days Too Long: “I’m just not going to bother voting. What an utterly depressing shower they all are, and I’m left completely politically…Apr 30, 19:06
    • Highland Wifie on Seven Days Too Long: “Alf says “Scots need to elect radicals.” Alliance to Liberate Scotland made a huge mistake in parachuting in Craig Murray…Apr 30, 18:30
    • Sven on Seven Days Too Long: “twathater @ 17.54. “They may not be polished or grandiose” and, I’d add, not career or would be professional career…Apr 30, 18:20
    • 100%Yes on Seven Days Too Long: “Have you seen this below? https://neilslegalstuff.blogspot.com/2026/04/crown-of-england-post-1707-read-act.html Just wondered your thoughts?Apr 30, 18:18
    • Sven on Seven Days Too Long: “Cynicus @ 17.39. I’d guess that you have missed the opportunity to waste some hours of your life which you’d…Apr 30, 18:12
    • Alf Baird on Seven Days Too Long: ““a lackey for Sturgeon Don’t you mean “a lackey” for the ‘Union’?Apr 30, 17:56
    • twathater on Seven Days Too Long: “FFS whats wae awe the girnin and defeatism , a canny vote for this yin or a canny vote fur…Apr 30, 17:54
    • Cynicus on Seven Days Too Long: “I have not watched a single Party political broadcast or leaders’ debate.. Have I missed much?Apr 30, 17:39
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Seven Days Too Long: “To be clear, Fergus Ewing is of course standing as an independent.Apr 30, 17:27
    • Alf Baird on Seven Days Too Long: “Independence is of course ‘radical’ in terms of totally transforming our society and governance which means Scots need to elect…Apr 30, 17:19
    • 100%Yes on Seven Days Too Long: “The outcome of SNP election will be, Swinney failed again. He’s no Alex Salmond and why would he be, Alex…Apr 30, 17:10
    • Shug on Seven Days Too Long: “He will fet my first vote but will never see the second until the perjurer is in jailApr 30, 17:04
    • 100%Yes on Seven Days Too Long: “These are my predictions for the coming years:- 1 Scotland will still be in the Union in 2031 2 Peter…Apr 30, 16:58
    • joe on Seven Days Too Long: “I’m happy , got eva comrie here to vote for, she will get my vote , hopefully get in on…Apr 30, 16:54
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Seven Days Too Long: “Stu Campbell writes: “With the exception of Fergus Ewing in Inverness & Nairn, we’re struggling to think of a single…Apr 30, 16:51
    • 100%Yes on Seven Days Too Long: “What also is upsetting is the fact that SNP have made themselves perfectly clear how a majority has to be…Apr 30, 16:40
    • Blackhack on Seven Days Too Long: “Me too…..There’s not one prospective SMP member in my constituancy that deserves my vote, So I’ll just stay at home…Apr 30, 15:22
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