Alert WoS viewers, who may find much of the text of this review oddly familiar (but do read on, for all is not quite as it seems), will already be aware of my range of views on the history of SNK’s Metal Slug series. From a hugely refreshing beginning, the franchise rapidly degenerated into a cynical cash-milking business punting out lazy and increasingly inferior titles with ever-growing rapidity and desperation.
The nadir actually arrived fairly early, with the abysmal Metal Slug 3, and there have been a few flickers of hope – like the inventive Neo Geo Pocket spinoffs (now excitingly playable via emulation on PSP, finally solving the problem of the NGP’s murky un-backlit screen and awkward controls) and the aforelinked GBA title, which came up with many of the ideas that have been more fully fleshed out in this latest release.
But mostly the announcement of a new addition to the Metal Slug family has been occasion only for some sad reflections on the latest half-arsed indignities to be inflicted on a once-proud name in the name of a quick profit. Metal Slug XX is a step back in the right direction.
It’s good to know that Sony still has one market-leading piece of highly efficient and productive hardware on its books. The ailing megacorporation seems to expend most of its effort these days launching acres of cretinous lying drivel into the ever-compliant media, blaming anyone but itself for the catalogue of ineptitude that has beset the company over the last few years.
The space of that single hardware generation has seen Sony’s games division crash from being the overwhelming market leader by a factor of 6:1 over the nearest opposition (the PS2 has sold around 140 million units worldwide compared to the original Xbox’s pitiful 25 million and just 21 million for the Gamecube) to a dismal last place in every field of operation it competes in.
The company’s products populate the Blue Square Football Conference of the videogaming leagues – the PS3 is still making basically no inroads into the Xbox 360’s lead and gazing far off into the distance at the dust trail of the Wii in the mainstream market, and the PSP has been humiliated by the DS and now the iPhone and iPod in the handheld field. But who’s responsible for the latter catastrophe? You’ll never guess in a million years.
Which is why they’ll never get another penny of my money. There is no greedier games company in existence, perhaps no more nakedly greedy corporation on Earth.
The other day I finally lost patience waiting for Namco to release an update to iPhone Ms Pac-Man (which hasn’t worked since OS 3.1) or answer any support queries about it, and emailed Apple.
Widely regarded as an extremely grasping company themselves, Apple nonetheless replied within 24 hours refunding the purchase price of the game in full, which is customer relations at what ought to be the elementary bare minimum.
(Actually it’s a little better than minimum – the game doesn’t get remotely deleted in the event of a refund and is still on my iPod, so if Namco ever do bother their backsides to make it work again, I effectively get a freebie in compensation for all of the considerable inconvenience that I went to in trying to get it to run – repeatedly deleting and reinstalling, rebooting, even doing a complete six-hour system restore.)
Yep, it’s so good I actually played it twice, which as alert WoSblog readers will realise is a substantial accolade in itself, so it seems only proper that it takes the No.2 slot as well.
Yeah, bit behind schedule on this one. Sorry. You know how it is.
No.3 – Earth Defence Force 2017
EDF2017 pretty much killed static-console gaming for me. Apart from Super Mario Galaxy (which exists in a separate category to pretty much all other videogames), it’s the last game for any of the mainstream formats that I’ve invested any significant amount of time in, because nothing’s ever been this much fun again.
Alert WoS viewers will have seen this a while ago, but as it’s my all-time favourite piece of videogames-related art it’s worth repeating for the hundreds of new readers of WoSblog. Once you’ve grasped what it is you won’t expect that you’re going to watch all nine minutes of it. But you will.
The content industry has a long and shameful history of spurious figures when it comes to the subject of intellectual-property piracy. This much we already knew. But the most recent set of “statistics” on the economic cost of piracy – which have, of course, been seized on and repeated unquestioningly by the press – may have set some sort of record.
As the writer of the Definitive series of games histories for Retro Gamer, the bane of my life is websites repeating stuff they found somewhere else and didn’t bother to check. Because if the original “fact” isn’t actually true, the weight of repetition quickly causes it to become accepted as the truth anyway, and you end up with a load of cobblers becoming the official historical record, at least until I have to come along and fix it, usually by playing the game(s) all the way to the bloody end myself.
(I suppose I shouldn’t complain, as if it didn’t happen so much Retro Gamer’s first feature on R-Type wouldn’t have been SO full of glaring errors that I couldn’t stop myself writing them an angry letter about it, and thereby managing to secure the Definitive gig in the first place, which has been quite a nice little earner.)
And printing rubbish about games can still be dangerous even if you think you’re really obviously joking, as this picture I recently found lurking on my hard drive proves:
Mark Beggan on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “Let’s just say, playing the victim now is not got the payback that one might have thought. Perhaps the victim…” Sep 18, 23:28
Alf Baird on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “Hopefully you may be able to present evidence for your revised thesis that Scotland is not now a colony? Much…” Sep 18, 20:51
Alf Baird on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “Yes, Malgrati in his review does not quite get as far as ‘Doun-Hauden’ which would have helped him explain the…” Sep 18, 20:20
Hatey McHateface on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “If you should ever choose to stand for office in Scotland, New Northy, I’ll be paying close attention to your…” Sep 18, 20:04
Northcode on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “When posters invoke antisyzygy, they’re not using it as a literary concept. They’re using it as: – a psychological explanation…” Sep 18, 19:56
Northcode on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “Pathologising dissent isn’t just rude — it’s a form of control based on authoritarian logic. It’s the same manoeuvre used…” Sep 18, 19:29
Hatey McHateface on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “@TURABDIN As recently as 30 years ago, you could have gotten away with claiming the allegations of primitivism and moral…” Sep 18, 19:07
Hatey McHateface on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “There’s no oppressive reality in my neck of the woods, Alf. Maybe you just need to move house.” Sep 18, 18:57
factchecker on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: ““why else would certain elements of the oppressed group (the more assimilated etc) reject their own liberation and deny their…” Sep 18, 18:18
TURABDIN on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “Maybe a wee oversensitive? Considering the west has been lecturing, and worse, my part of the world for centuries about…” Sep 18, 18:10
Old Bill on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “The Duty of Candour is already activated in the Police Scotland Standards of Professional Behaviour and to avoid this, carelessly,…” Sep 18, 16:50
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “Informative exploration of MacDiarmid’s use of the term ‘antisyzygy’. (I don’t necessarily endorse Malgrati’s entire pitch.) ‘ANTISYZYGY’: AN ESCAPE ROUTE…” Sep 18, 15:51
Spartan 117 on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “There’s something stunningly ironic (some would even say offensive, but I’m not easily that way) in a non-Scot lecturing *me*…” Sep 18, 15:47
Alf Baird on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “…and this is why the colonizer (and his group acting collectively btl here) ‘hates theory’ (Memmi) – because it unveils…” Sep 18, 15:07
Alf Baird on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: ““being in denial, stubborn pride maybe, regarding Scotland’s current status is a psychological aberration which the thinkers you quote would…” Sep 18, 15:04
Mark Beggan on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “But all you get is the C word nicely feathered in a word salad. Maybe you could ask him to…” Sep 18, 14:51
TURABDIN on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “@ ALF BAIRD Those who attack you make your case. Scotland did not start out as a unionist colony but…” Sep 18, 14:13
Hatey McHateface on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “Naw, Mark. Every time Alf reads one of my posts he starts choking and somebody has to perform the Heimlich…” Sep 18, 13:37
Spartan 117 on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “Ah Alf, so it’s somebody else’s fault ye huv tae yaise thon Coloniser’s tung, nae yur ain? An whit “Scots”…” Sep 18, 13:34
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “Book review: ‘SUPERHERO COMICS AND SCOTTISH IDENTITY: The Comics Art Of Frank Quitely’ « The authors are academics, interrogating Scottish…” Sep 18, 13:20
Aidan on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “@Alf – repetitive, excessive, and largely meaningless writing focused relentlessly on the same subject, often to the point of becoming…” Sep 18, 13:16
Aidan on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: ““There are several others regularly contributing BTL who post nothing but hate, single-minded psuedoacademic wibble or just plain unintelligible drunken…” Sep 18, 13:07
Hatey McHateface on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “@ Alf Baird says: 18 September, 2026 at 12:34 pm “The main point here is the need for a colonized…” Sep 18, 13:02
Alf Baird on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “The main point here is the need for a colonized people to understand the linguistic and cultural impacts of colonialism,…” Sep 18, 12:34
lothianlad on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “They are mnoe starting to really panic. Their attempt at distancing and evasion wont work. They will be held to…” Sep 18, 12:27
Hatey McHateface on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: “@ Spartan 117 says: 18 September, 2026 at 10:34 am I think Alf finds himself in a bind. Although he…” Sep 18, 12:07
Alf Baird on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: ““Is this tae dae wi’ thon Colonialism yur aie haverin’ aboot?” Colonialism is ‘obscured by assimilation’ (Memmi), and the colonized…” Sep 18, 12:06
Hatey McHateface on A Thousand Islands In The Sea: ““a culturally-intertwined political identity (Pettigrew), which creates ‘a manufactured being’ (Memmi)” As always, Alf, you give us much to think…” Sep 18, 11:54
