We checked with a few people on this one to make sure it wasn’t just us. Today’s Herald carries a story – by Magnus Gardham, no less – that on first glance sounds like good news for supporters of independence. But on closer inspection, it’s an incoherent jumble of word-noise that contradicts itself almost every paragraph. We honestly don’t have a clue what they’re up to over there.
We’re not going to link to the Brian Wilson article which the Guardian unaccountably lowered itself to publishing yesterday. It’s embarrassing to see a still-widely-respected newspaper debasing its pages with the sort of swivel-eyed ranting you’d normally expect from a drunk shouting at a skip at 7am, which we can only assume the paper paid money for after LabourHame rejected it as being just too bitter and deranged.
One ugly little piece of innuendo is worth picking up on, though. With what’s the closest thing to subtlety in the piece, Wilson grudgingly concedes the SNP’s mandate to hold an independence referendum:
“The difference is that Scotland now has to answer a question which only a minority want to ask: ‘Should Scotland become an independent country?’ This is because, two years ago, 21% of Scots voted nationalist in the Holyrood elections, giving them an overall majority.”
Even in that tiny snippet there are several nasty little lies (nobody voted “nationalist”, for example – they voted for the SNP, which stands for Scottish National Party rather than Nationalist, and many did so despite opposing independence, just as tens of thousands of “nationalists” voted for other parties). But we’ll focus on the “21%” thing.
Last week you were widely quoted in the press on the subject of voters being informed in advance by both parties in the independence debate of the repercussions of their respective positions winning the vote. For example, your press release stated:
“The Commission has therefore recommended that the UK and Scottish Governments should clarify what process will follow the referendum, for either outcome, so that people have that information before they vote.”
Although your words seem clear to me, they seem not to have been understood by the No campaign. Ruth Davidson and Alistair Darling, for example, have both in recent days indicated their refusal to detail any proposed new devolution settlement, should Scotland reject independence, until AFTER the referendum.
Ms Davidson went so far as to suggest in one TV interview that she thought your comments meant people were unsure whether there would still be a UK Prime Minister after a No vote, and whether UK laws would still apply. As it appears extremely obvious that the “default” position in the event of a No vote would be that everything stayed the same as it is now, it seems unlikely that those were in fact the questions your respondents were asking.
But as we were not privy to your testing, we don’t know specifically which information voters were requesting be made available to them. I wonder, then, if it might be possible for you to issue some clarification on the matter, at least in broad terms.
A great many members of both the UK and Scottish Parliaments were extremely vociferous before the publication of your report in insisting that its recommendations be followed in full by all sides. It would perhaps therefore be valuable if you could be more specific about what sort of information your quote above referred to.
We know the No campaign is dead set against entering any discussions before the independence referendum, but we were so moved by Willie Rennie’s concern today about Scotland not having enough time to “negotiate over 14,000 international treaties“ in the 16 months between a Yes vote and the first elections to an independent Holyrood that we thought we’d help him out a bit with some advance work.
We did enquire of Mr Rennie as to where these “14,000 international treaties” could be found, but he was too busy helping poor people by fining them £80 a month to answer. Luckily, alert reader Angus McLellan was hot on the case, and swiftly directed us to a handy Foreign Office website featuring the magic number.
We’ve now had a brief skim through some of the UK’s historic agreements with other countries, and to save some time after 2014 we’ve knocked a few off the list.
Unionists often like to talk about independence in terms of a “divorce” to try to tug at our heart strings and make us feel like we’d be leaving a much-loved partner. The implication, of course, is that divorces are always bad, with losers on both sides.
They get very huffy when independence supporters suggest that it’s more like an abusive marriage, despite our relationship with England being far more like Stockholm Syndrome than they would like to admit. (Something their own “it’s a big, bad world out there, you’ll never survive without us” rhetoric suggests is the case.)
But if we take the metaphor of the United Kingdom being a marriage at face value, then what kind of marriage is it? And more to the point, is it worth saving?
Since we’re on the subject of Willie Rennie, we may as well have a look at the comments he’s made today in response to the Scottish Government’s publication of its “transition” plans in the event of a Yes vote. A clearer, more dispiriting example of the “We cannae dae it, Cap’n!” mentality would be hard to find.
“Liberal Democrat leader Willie Rennie insisted today that the SNP has “hopelessly underestimated the scale and complexity” of the task ahead.
“They would have to negotiate over 14,000 international treaties, a currency, the division of assets, membership of NATO and the host of international organisations,” he said.
“To say they will bang all this through in just 16 months is absurd. This will give most people in Scotland the shivers and fuel suspicion that the SNP are just making it up as they go along.”
Now, “making it up as they go along” is a pretty strange reaction in the first place to someone publishing a detailed planning document almost TWO YEARS ahead of the time it would be needed. But let’s humour the poor man and glance through his terrifying list of impossible tasks.
It’s one of the defining mysteries of the independence debate so far. The Scottish Government says that an independent Scotland would remain an EU member at all times before, during and after the process of dissolving the UK, with the precise terms being negotiated. The UK Government, meanwhile, insists that Scotland would be thrown out of the EU and have to reapply for membership.
The EU has said it’s happy to settle this dispute, but only on receipt of a request from the UK Government to issue a definitive position. The Scottish Government has urged the UK Government to do so, but the UK Government refuses, despite its professed confidence in its view and the huge propaganda victory that would presumably result.
We can only assume that the UK Government is too busy to write the letter, occupied as it is with destroying the British economy and society. So as a helpful time-saving gesture of goodwill and in the interests of informed debate, we’ve done it for them.
We’re even happy to put a stamp on it, pop out (we need milk anyway) and stick it in the postbox ourselves. Just say the word, Prime Minister.
This is “No” campaign director Blair McDougall, telling lies:
“There’s one thing that’s absolutely certain – if the nationalists get a Yes vote, Scotland will be leaving the UK and so we’ll be leaving the European Union.”
That’s a lie, isn’t it, Blair? It couldn’t possibly be any more clearly a lie. Nobody actually believes that Scotland will “leave” the European Union as a result of a Yes vote. No matter how much they deliberately spin, misrepresent and mislead about the EC President’s comments, nobody honestly believes that there will be so much as a single solitary day on which Scottish people are not EU citizens. (Unless, of course, they choose to stay in the UK and the Tories then take the whole UK out.)
Even the feeble semantic-hairsplitting defence that an independent Scotland might for a split second technically “leave” the EU while negotiations over the precise terms of membership were concluded and amended is anything but “absolutely certain”. Such a scenario is, in fact, a hugely unlikely, but strictly speaking astronomically-small theoretical possibility, so irrational that a lunatic might clutch desperately at it. Either way, we would in every meaningful sense remain in the EU.
The only absolute certainty here is that Blair McDougall is a liar.
We hadn’t previously bothered commenting on the Guardian cartoon by Steve Bell that had a lot of independence supporters hot under the collar this week. We’d assumed, as seemed the most likely explanation, that it had actually been a comment on what David Cameron was alleged to have mouthed to Angus Robertson at Prime Minister’s Questions, and that Cameron was therefore the main intended target.
We worried that the nationalists who beseiged the paper with angry comments were perhaps being a little oversensitive and looking for offence where none had been meant. Ironically, the cartoon happened only days after we’d highlighted our own habitual inability to understand what Bell’s cartoons were supposed to be about, and that comment turned out to be prophetic, because we had indeed called it wrong.
Alex Salmond’s appearance on Scotland Tonight this week raised an issue we’ve been meaning to address for a while, so let’s do it now before we forget again.
Of the numerous polls of the last few months, the most encouraging for supporters of independence was the one conducted by Panelbase for the Sunday Times in late October. It showed a pretty tight race at 37% Yes to 45% No, but the most interesting aspect was how the numbers changed when voters were asked for their opinion in the hypothetical scenario that they expected the Conservatives be returned as either a majority or coalition government at the 2015 Westminster general election.
In that scenario, independence leapt ahead with a massive 10% swing, to lead by 52% to 40%. But much less reported by the media was another finding of the poll.
There’s very little room for ambiguity in the Electoral Commission’s request that both sides in the independence debate provide voters with information in advance of the referendum about the likely consequences of either a Yes or No vote. Here’s how the Scotsman reported their comments, for example:
In the case of (what we’re finally now able to officially call) the No campaign, that only means – indeed, only can mean – one thing. After all, their platform is the status quo. In every immediate respect, the consequences of a No vote will be that nothing changes, so nothing needs explaining. There is but a single exception.
DaveL on Irony you can’t buy: “You’ll notice also how they’re staying away from the phrase ‘weapons of mass destruction’, WMD. They just say atomic bomb,…” Mar 22, 22:08
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “The Labour party should be shunned just as equally as the Tories are and run out of Scotland. They’ve been…” Mar 22, 21:50
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “They passed that point with a Jenny side. Issy doesn’t work alone. Everything needs American approval. His BS he’s telling…” Mar 22, 21:38
sam on Irony you can’t buy: “Trump’s adventure in the Niddle East is likely to lead to a humanitarian disaster there and a more repressive regime…” Mar 22, 21:22
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “Aye, Alf. They didn’t serve under a Scottish political party. They served under the colonisers & not one of them…” Mar 22, 21:15
Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Africa. New Orleans was a French colony. They sold it to the Americans.” Mar 22, 20:56
Alf Baird on Irony you can’t buy: ““Tony Blair was born in Edinburgh and Gordon Brown was born in Giffnock” So that makes three centuries of colonial…” Mar 22, 17:30
Young Lochinvar on Irony you can’t buy: “Agentx JBG clearly means forthwith. Anyway; Teflon Tone survived so long as he made himself more English than the English…” Mar 22, 17:28
agentx on Irony you can’t buy: ““That being the case London will make sure that there will NEVER ever be a PM who is a SCOT”…” Mar 22, 16:54
James on Irony you can’t buy: “It is not a derogatory racist term as ‘scot free’ has zero to do with Scots or Scotland, see posts…” Mar 22, 16:09
sam on Irony you can’t buy: “Yes, Andy. The majority of people in Ireland (south of border), around 66% favour reunification. Their wishes are likely to…” Mar 22, 14:48
James Barr Gardner on Irony you can’t buy: ““Scotland is entirely FREE to leave only if its granted by the PM @ Westminster”. That being the case London…” Mar 22, 14:40
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “What we need is a revolution & a spot of regime change. Forget Ayatollahs – we’ve got the fckn parasitic…” Mar 22, 14:24
Confused on Irony you can’t buy: “why? https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2026/03/21/drilling-north-sea-answer-energy-crisis/ – surely the city, being the engine of wealth creation, can solve all problems via the free market…” Mar 22, 13:05
Sven on Irony you can’t buy: “Mark Beggan @ 09.49. Twinkle, Twinkle, little star. I don’t wonder what you are. I surmised your spot in space…” Mar 22, 12:14
Northcode on Irony you can’t buy: “Could Sturgeon be a plagiarist? The quote “If everything is a scandal, nothing is.” is attributed to Mary Anne MacLeod…” Mar 22, 12:04
Andy Ellis on Irony you can’t buy: “even if NI wanted a border poll it down to the PM granting it even though its state they can…” Mar 22, 11:57
Northcode on Irony you can’t buy: “Professor Aileen Mcharg is English and a unionist (colonist if preferred… same thing)… so not much point in listening to…” Mar 22, 11:38
100%Yes on Irony you can’t buy: “George Galloway, maybe the only person to show the Labour supporters who want Independence that voting for the SNP is…” Mar 22, 11:34
100%Yes on Irony you can’t buy: “Aidan, I couldn’t post to you above as there was no reply option. Reading between the lines the SNP leadership/SG…” Mar 22, 11:20
Mark Beggan on Irony you can’t buy: “And when the Lefty’s were thrown down into hell. They cried! ” Lord forgive us we didny Ken” And the…” Mar 22, 10:56
agentx on Irony you can’t buy: ““William George Walker (SNP politician) A case was brought against Walker and was heard at Edinburgh Sheriff Court on nine…” Mar 22, 10:56
Northcode on Irony you can’t buy: ““So Scotland Independence hopes within the UK system is dead…” Such hopes were never alive, such hopes were never real,…” Mar 22, 10:48
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “That is wrong. Scotland is a sovereign nation & there were preconditions before the Act of Union ever took place.…” Mar 22, 10:35
agentx on Irony you can’t buy: “Scottish Oath Taken: King Charles III took the statutory oath to uphold the Presbyterian Church of Scotland at the inaugural…” Mar 22, 10:29
Geri on Irony you can’t buy: “Instead of watching baby Trump maybe you should educate yourself. Iraq had emptied its war chest being a proxy for…” Mar 22, 10:24
Northcode on Irony you can’t buy: “An alien spacecraft from another world did not crash land in America’s Area 51. The Illuminati is not a sinister…” Mar 22, 10:08
Mark Beggan on Irony you can’t buy: “Blue blue windows behind the stars. Yellow moon on the rise. Big Missiles flying across the sky. Throwing shadows on…” Mar 22, 09:49
Aidan on Irony you can’t buy: “You’re right 100% Yes – the only route to Scottish independence within the UK’s legal system is for an act…” Mar 22, 09:36