1. That the Tories hadn’t offered the Lib Dems anything on electoral reform. The sudden, desperate and resentful least-possible offer of a referendum on the absolutely useless AV (which does almost nothing for the Lib Dems) was a panic reaction to Brown’s game-changing resignation.
At least, it’s statistically probable that you do. The majority – 53% – of votes cast by the British electorate last Thursday were worthless, because they were cast for candidates who didn’t win, and are therefore simply thrown in the bin by the First Past The Post electoral system.
So if you were one of the thousands of people locked out of polling stations across the country on Thursday night, don’t fret too much. Your vote would probably have been completely ignored anyway.
Because the aim was a hung parliament, and we got just about the hung-est parliament possible. The Tories need the Lib Dems to form a majority, Labour needs nearly everyone to form a majority, and the smallest parties could yet have the crucial say. Wow, that's hung. But what now?
I haven't been to bed yet. I may be cranky. But with over 90% of results in, it's not really possible to draw any conclusions from last night's election other than (a) almost everyone in Britain is a pathetic, brainless cretin, and (b) everything about our "democracy" is a sick black joke at our expense.
With just two days until an election that could mark either one of the greatest days in British political history or one of the blackest, we're all a bit nervous about the future. But one thing that's great for easing tension is free cash, and that's what appears to be on offer from Stan James this week.
The terrifying image above is Ladbrokes' predicted map of the UK come Friday morning. (You can find much more detail on it here.) It makes a few questionable assertions and contradicts itself in a number of places (eg Glasgow East), but where's the money?
So the debates are over. We've heard at great length from three right-wing politicians, offering us three slightly different flavours of right-wing policies. No alternative voices were permitted.
And the really troubling thing about this election is that that means NOBODY is speaking for the majority of the British population. It almost certainly means that nobody is speaking for you. Which, you might think, is a pretty odd way to be running a supposed democracy.
One of the most striking things about the current election is the BBC's total abandonment of even a pretence at impartiality with regard to the nationalist parties in Scotland and Wales (and other smaller parties like UKIP too), which is most obviously visible in the Corporation's determined exclusion of them from the defining theatre of the campaign – the leaders' debates.
In the light of protests pointing out that excluding what Ofcom defines as "main parties" in Scotland and Wales during an election is against broadcasting regulations, the BBC (and ITV and Sky, although the latter subsequently broke ranks – see above) hastily rebranded the programmes as "Prime Ministerial debates", and insisted that they were only for the politicians contesting the keys to 10 Downing Street.
The gigantic irony, of course, is that it looks increasingly as if NONE of the participants in the debates will actually be the next Prime Minister.
Clue: it’s not because they like having sex with children.
It’s because, along with the war in Afghanistan, they’re one of the only two major campaigning issues on which there isn’t even a manufactured illusion of disagreement between the three main parties standing in the General Election of 2010. Everyone is singing in perfect harmony from the same hymn sheet on this one: the unemployed are dangerous and despicable criminals.
Much like Afghanistan, none of the London parties speak for the UK electorate on this important issue. Which is, y'know, kinda strange. You'd think wars and spending scores of billions of pounds on pointless weapons in a recession would be just the sort of thing that would come up during an election as points of contention. But maybe I'm missing something.
Hang on. Is this classic reverse psychology? Does the Daily Mail actually WANT a hung parliament, for doubtless sinister reasons of its own?
Because it's hard to imagine that a major British newspaper could be edited by anyone SO stupid as to think this absurd, hysterical rubbish (based on an out-of-context quote EIGHT years old) could do anything but strengthen the feelings of anyone who's sick of the old Labour-Tory carve-up of this country. So let's help them, eh?
Geri on Pick Your Poison: “It’s not nonsense & Marie is correct. Every vote cast for this colonial outpost is a vote to maintain &…” May 8, 01:30
Mark Beggan on Pick Your Poison: “If the SNP are skint where did they get the money to pay for so many leaflets?” May 8, 01:03
Geri on Pick Your Poison: “Shiteface, So you admit Scotland only has a say in Westminster if it votes Unionist. Thanks for confirmation that we…” May 8, 00:21
GM on Pick Your Poison: “I didn’t bother on the constituency either. It turned out there might have been a pro independence party on it,…” May 8, 00:05
GM on Pick Your Poison: “Staff at polling station said turnout was vert good, surprisingly. I was extremely surprised as it is unusual for the…” May 7, 23:35
Geri on Pick Your Poison: ““because the Kingdom of England just hijacks the Westminster elections as their own, thus simplifying the choices and reducing the…” May 7, 23:18
Cuphook on Pick Your Poison: “I have the right to vote, but it’s not compulsory. And I don’t need your respect. My choice to not…” May 7, 22:36
James on Pick Your Poison: “Well Northy…here we go…. The United Nations Has Received the Evidence: Scotland Is a Colony and the World Now Knows…” May 7, 22:08
Wally Jumblatt on Pick Your Poison: “I was handed the peachy sheet for the List candidates, a rag, tag & bobtail sheet of non-people and fantasy…” May 7, 22:06
James on Pick Your Poison: “To paraphrase a great thinker talking about Fish Face previously; not all people who vote “Reform” are racist, but all…” May 7, 21:29
James on The value bet: “Excellent. Boxes full here as well. Hopefully ATLS will do weel! Soar Alba.” May 7, 21:10
Chris Downie on Pick Your Poison: “At this stage, would it actually be better if the pro-independence majority was lost, so that minds could refocus and…” May 7, 21:02
Geri on Pick Your Poison: “They’re read by the candidates throughout the count so they can all agree to discard them/proof they’re spoiled. It may…” May 7, 20:51
Bilbo on Pick Your Poison: “I don’t know if I have understood Grousebeater correctly but is he saying that we should be voting for SNP…” May 7, 20:33
Marie on Pick Your Poison: “If you’d read my original post you would know that I intend to vote on the list paper. That’s where…” May 7, 20:30
Bilbo on Pick Your Poison: “@ Cuphook 7 May, 2026 at 12:22 pm Of course for those that support Reform and have made up their…” May 7, 20:29
Rev. Stuart Campbell on Pick Your Poison: “One of you has a capital J, the other doesn’t.” May 7, 20:28
Rev. Stuart Campbell on Pick Your Poison: “Even if lots of idiots vote SNP 1+2 it won’t be because that mad wee chimp told them to.” May 7, 20:26
agentx on Pick Your Poison: “There is still time to go to vote.” May 7, 20:15
agentx on Pick Your Poison: “Absolute nonsense. Go back to sitting on your hands and see how much that does for you.” May 7, 20:11
Marie on Pick Your Poison: “agentx @7.10pm – The system is rigged. Candidates are bought. Candidates are captured. This isn’t the early 1900s. Our “elites”…” May 7, 19:50
george wood on Pick Your Poison: “Seems to have been a big green turnout in my ward in Edinburgh Central. Maybe somebody should have taken Stu…” May 7, 19:50
robertkknight on Pick Your Poison: “No idea. I exercised my civic duty and democratic right to vote in a manner whereby I declined to endorse…” May 7, 19:46
Campbell Clansman on Pick Your Poison: “Asking for evidence is so 1990s. Just yell “Yoon!” at anyone who disagrees with you. That is (sadly) the intellectual…” May 7, 19:39
Jay on Pick Your Poison: “With reference to comment from jay on 7 May 2026 at 12:41: I did not make that comment. Are there…” May 7, 19:26
agentx on Pick Your Poison: “Women fought for years to get the vote and you want to just “sit on your hands”!” May 7, 19:10
agentx on Pick Your Poison: “Is there any evidence anywhere that spoilt voting papers ever changed any Party policies whatsoever?” May 7, 18:49
George Ferguson on Pick Your Poison: “Hi Alf/ Dan Mathematics and Statistics tells me that not one of these minor parties will get elected.The only plausible…” May 7, 18:46
Potace on Pick Your Poison: “Didn’t vote. Just couldn’t be arsed and wasn’t giving that lot my vote. Fool me once…” May 7, 18:42
agentx on Pick Your Poison: ““Cuphook says: 7 May, 2026 at 11:16 am Today I’m staying at home.” —————————————- Polls are open till 22.00. There…” May 7, 18:41