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Things we’ve learned in the last 24 hours 16

Posted on May 11, 2010 by

1. That the Tories hadn’t offered the Lib Dems anything on electoral reform. The sudden, desperate and resentful least-possible offer of a referendum on the absolutely useless AV (which does almost nothing for the Lib Dems) was a panic reaction to Brown’s game-changing resignation.

2. That Adam “Raging” Boulton is the UK’s unasked-for answer to Glenn Beck. “I just care about this country!”

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You count for nothing 8

Posted on May 09, 2010 by

At least, it’s statistically probable that you do. The majority – 53% – of votes cast by the British electorate last Thursday were worthless, because they were cast for candidates who didn’t win, and are therefore simply thrown in the bin by the First Past The Post electoral system.

So if you were one of the thousands of people locked out of polling stations across the country on Thursday night, don’t fret too much. Your vote would probably have been completely ignored anyway.

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Can’t get there from here? 32

Posted on May 08, 2010 by

So did we win, or what?

Because the aim was a hung parliament, and we got just about the hung-est parliament possible. The Tories need the Lib Dems to form a majority, Labour needs nearly everyone to form a majority, and the smallest parties could yet have the crucial say. Wow, that's hung. But what now?

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Everyone in Britain is a moron 26

Posted on May 07, 2010 by

I haven't been to bed yet. I may be cranky. But with over 90% of results in, it's not really possible to draw any conclusions from last night's election other than (a) almost everyone in Britain is a pathetic, brainless cretin, and (b) everything about our "democracy" is a sick black joke at our expense.

Let's take it step by step, shall we?

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Well, here goes 5

Posted on May 06, 2010 by

The single most revolutionary step forward for democracy in the entire 303-year history of the United Kingdom, or this.

It's up to you. God help us all.

Want some free money? 22

Posted on May 04, 2010 by

With just two days until an election that could mark either one of the greatest days in British political history or one of the blackest, we're all a bit nervous about the future. But one thing that's great for easing tension is free cash, and that's what appears to be on offer from Stan James this week.

The terrifying image above is Ladbrokes' predicted map of the UK come Friday morning. (You can find much more detail on it here.) It makes a few questionable assertions and contradicts itself in a number of places (eg Glasgow East), but where's the money?

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They don’t, they don’t speak for us 11

Posted on April 30, 2010 by

So the debates are over. We've heard at great length from three right-wing politicians, offering us three slightly different flavours of right-wing policies. No alternative voices were permitted.

And the really troubling thing about this election is that that means NOBODY is speaking for the majority of the British population. It almost certainly means that nobody is speaking for you. Which, you might think, is a pretty odd way to be running a supposed democracy.

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Immigrants to UK not welcome 1

Posted on April 29, 2010 by

Next time, it could be your voice that's silenced. Remember, Cameron and Brown didn't want the Lib Dems to be allowed in the debates either.

Kenny Dalglish for Prime Minister? 6

Posted on April 28, 2010 by

One of the most striking things about the current election is the BBC's total abandonment of even a pretence at impartiality with regard to the nationalist parties in Scotland and Wales (and other smaller parties like UKIP too), which is most obviously visible in the Corporation's determined exclusion of them from the defining theatre of the campaign – the leaders' debates.

In the light of protests pointing out that excluding what Ofcom defines as "main parties" in Scotland and Wales during an election is against broadcasting regulations, the BBC (and ITV and Sky, although the latter subsequently broke ranks – see above) hastily rebranded the programmes as "Prime Ministerial debates", and insisted that they were only for the politicians contesting the keys to 10 Downing Street.

The gigantic irony, of course, is that it looks increasingly as if NONE of the participants in the debates will actually be the next Prime Minister.

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The unemployed are the new paedophiles 21

Posted on April 26, 2010 by

Clue: it’s not because they like having sex with children.

It’s because, along with the war in Afghanistan, they’re one of the only two major campaigning issues on which there isn’t even a manufactured illusion of disagreement between the three main parties standing in the General Election of 2010. Everyone is singing in perfect harmony from the same hymn sheet on this one: the unemployed are dangerous and despicable criminals.

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The unheard voice 4

Posted on April 23, 2010 by

I like this:

Much like Afghanistan, none of the London parties speak for the UK electorate on this important issue. Which is, y'know, kinda strange. You'd think wars and spending scores of billions of pounds on pointless weapons in a recession would be just the sort of thing that would come up during an election as points of contention. But maybe I'm missing something.

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What you can do for your country 3

Posted on April 22, 2010 by

Hang on. Is this classic reverse psychology? Does the Daily Mail actually WANT a hung parliament, for doubtless sinister reasons of its own?

Because it's hard to imagine that a major British newspaper could be edited by anyone SO stupid as to think this absurd, hysterical rubbish (based on an out-of-context quote EIGHT years old) could do anything but strengthen the feelings of anyone who's sick of the old Labour-Tory carve-up of this country. So let's help them, eh?

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    • Colin Alexander on The Narcissism Of No Differences: “Tommy Sheridan is top of the Regional List for Liberate Scotland in Glasgow region. Tommy wants Scotland’s independence. He respects…Apr 17, 21:29
    • Geri on The Narcissism Of No Differences: “Classic Reid technique. There’s always to be some Dumbo to play the good cop. Tories were in full control of…Apr 17, 21:25
    • Sven on The Narcissism Of No Differences: ““Power, like a desolating Pestilence, Pollutes whate’er it touches; And obedience, Bane of all genius, virtue, freedom, truth, Makes slaves…Apr 17, 21:25
    • Geri on Happy Anniversary: “Anyone who has watched the Labour Files knows this guy was an agent parachuted in to kill the Labour party…Apr 17, 20:59
    • Lynn on The Narcissism Of No Differences: “Sad but true. Never felt so scunnered at an election. It’s shit and about to get worse.Apr 17, 19:29
    • sarah on Happy Anniversary: “I’m lucky as well – in Highlands & Islands, Caithness constituency, there’s Alliance on both ballots. Not Eva, Tommy or…Apr 17, 19:08
    • Northcode on The Narcissism Of No Differences: ““It’s all a gigantic waste of time, money and attention.” I disagree… our coloniZer, England, and organiser of these five-yearly…Apr 17, 18:55
    • Lorncal on The Narcissism Of No Differences: “Time yet for the Scottish Women’s Party, Karen? Too late for this election, but the next? Set it up ourselves,…Apr 17, 18:39
    • barelybare on The Narcissism Of No Differences: ““On the upside there are just three more weeks of it to survive, readers.” Anyone else remember how general elections…Apr 17, 18:02
    • Frank Gillougley on The Narcissism Of No Differences: “WE ARE PROPER MENTAL wins by a pantomime horse’s nose, or a balding ginger-haired scrotum (if I’m being perfectly frank).Apr 17, 17:16
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    • Karen on The Narcissism Of No Differences: “If they get rid of Starmer before May 7th, Liebour might get a wee bounce. I read an article by…Apr 17, 16:48
    • Forbes Johnstone on The Narcissism Of No Differences: “What these parties need is a strap line that has already worked elsewhere. How about- Make England’s favourite Colony Great…Apr 17, 16:47
    • Mark Beggan on The Narcissism Of No Differences: “Keep your voting boots on folks. There could be a general election coming round the bend.Apr 17, 16:41
    • diabloandco on Happy Anniversary: “At least I can vote for the Alliance in my neck of the woods and even better , Tommy Sheridan…Apr 17, 16:36
    • Knuckle Heid on The Narcissism Of No Differences: “The swapping around of some useless faces for some different useless faces…. Be good to see the back of my…Apr 17, 16:33
    • Mark Beggan on The Narcissism Of No Differences: “You hold your ground without screaming or ranting Sarah. Holding your stance against all odds. Respect.Apr 17, 16:29
    • Potace on The Narcissism Of No Differences: “I will be burying my head in the sand for the next five years and hope they’ve all gone awayApr 17, 16:18
    • 100%Yes on The Narcissism Of No Differences: “Devolution is the rope around Scotland neck with its people hanging on the cross waiting to die. Its upsetting, but…Apr 17, 16:02
    • sarah on The Narcissism Of No Differences: “All together now. “Always look on the bright side of life. Always look on the bright side of life. Always…..”Apr 17, 16:00
    • Captain Caveman on Happy Anniversary: “@Sven Yes, that is a nuclear option – and one I could well imagine someone like him using. As we…Apr 17, 16:00
    • Mark Beggan on Happy Anniversary: “But Christmas has voted for them.Apr 17, 15:59
    • 100%Yes on The Narcissism Of No Differences: “I wouldn’t say its a waste of time for those that have just been elected, would you??? Its now a…Apr 17, 15:57
    • Mark Beggan on Happy Anniversary: “Watching the Labour scandal unfold minute by minute. The 10cc hit song comes to mind. I’m Mandy Fly Me!Apr 17, 14:54
    • Sven on Happy Anniversary: “Captain Caveman @ 13.55. You don’t believe he may adopt a strategy from the T Bliar playbook and threaten to…Apr 17, 14:54
    • Geri on Happy Anniversary: “Correct James. I also forgot extortion. They’re fleecing the GCC for $billions in hard cash for protection money & fake…Apr 17, 14:45
    • Mark Beggan on Happy Anniversary: “He won’t resign. He’s clinging to power like a limpet. Billy Liar. The best part is yet to come when…Apr 17, 14:44
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    • sarah on Happy Anniversary: “@ George Ferguson and others re the Alliance to Liberate Scotland PP Broadcast. It has converted at least one person…Apr 17, 14:13
    • Captain Caveman on Happy Anniversary: “O/T Can anyone see how Starmer can survive the next few days in post? His claiming he had no clue…Apr 17, 13:55
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