1. That the Tories hadn’t offered the Lib Dems anything on electoral reform. The sudden, desperate and resentful least-possible offer of a referendum on the absolutely useless AV (which does almost nothing for the Lib Dems) was a panic reaction to Brown’s game-changing resignation.
At least, it’s statistically probable that you do. The majority – 53% – of votes cast by the British electorate last Thursday were worthless, because they were cast for candidates who didn’t win, and are therefore simply thrown in the bin by the First Past The Post electoral system.
So if you were one of the thousands of people locked out of polling stations across the country on Thursday night, don’t fret too much. Your vote would probably have been completely ignored anyway.
Because the aim was a hung parliament, and we got just about the hung-est parliament possible. The Tories need the Lib Dems to form a majority, Labour needs nearly everyone to form a majority, and the smallest parties could yet have the crucial say. Wow, that's hung. But what now?
I haven't been to bed yet. I may be cranky. But with over 90% of results in, it's not really possible to draw any conclusions from last night's election other than (a) almost everyone in Britain is a pathetic, brainless cretin, and (b) everything about our "democracy" is a sick black joke at our expense.
With just two days until an election that could mark either one of the greatest days in British political history or one of the blackest, we're all a bit nervous about the future. But one thing that's great for easing tension is free cash, and that's what appears to be on offer from Stan James this week.
The terrifying image above is Ladbrokes' predicted map of the UK come Friday morning. (You can find much more detail on it here.) It makes a few questionable assertions and contradicts itself in a number of places (eg Glasgow East), but where's the money?
So the debates are over. We've heard at great length from three right-wing politicians, offering us three slightly different flavours of right-wing policies. No alternative voices were permitted.
And the really troubling thing about this election is that that means NOBODY is speaking for the majority of the British population. It almost certainly means that nobody is speaking for you. Which, you might think, is a pretty odd way to be running a supposed democracy.
One of the most striking things about the current election is the BBC's total abandonment of even a pretence at impartiality with regard to the nationalist parties in Scotland and Wales (and other smaller parties like UKIP too), which is most obviously visible in the Corporation's determined exclusion of them from the defining theatre of the campaign – the leaders' debates.
In the light of protests pointing out that excluding what Ofcom defines as "main parties" in Scotland and Wales during an election is against broadcasting regulations, the BBC (and ITV and Sky, although the latter subsequently broke ranks – see above) hastily rebranded the programmes as "Prime Ministerial debates", and insisted that they were only for the politicians contesting the keys to 10 Downing Street.
The gigantic irony, of course, is that it looks increasingly as if NONE of the participants in the debates will actually be the next Prime Minister.
Clue: it’s not because they like having sex with children.
It’s because, along with the war in Afghanistan, they’re one of the only two major campaigning issues on which there isn’t even a manufactured illusion of disagreement between the three main parties standing in the General Election of 2010. Everyone is singing in perfect harmony from the same hymn sheet on this one: the unemployed are dangerous and despicable criminals.
Much like Afghanistan, none of the London parties speak for the UK electorate on this important issue. Which is, y'know, kinda strange. You'd think wars and spending scores of billions of pounds on pointless weapons in a recession would be just the sort of thing that would come up during an election as points of contention. But maybe I'm missing something.
Hang on. Is this classic reverse psychology? Does the Daily Mail actually WANT a hung parliament, for doubtless sinister reasons of its own?
Because it's hard to imagine that a major British newspaper could be edited by anyone SO stupid as to think this absurd, hysterical rubbish (based on an out-of-context quote EIGHT years old) could do anything but strengthen the feelings of anyone who's sick of the old Labour-Tory carve-up of this country. So let's help them, eh?
gregor on The New Britain: “Up-votes = pro God Down-votes = pro devil” Dec 4, 23:43
gregor on The New Britain: “Down-voting on this post, here, signals that you don’t value humans (yourself), full stop. Good luck… #HumansAreWonderful” Dec 4, 23:33
Robert Matthews on The New Britain: “Rosie K. takes on allcomers.” Dec 4, 23:24
gregor on The New Britain: “Down-voting = NO values Up-voting = YES Scotland has values” Dec 4, 23:20
Michael Laing on The New Britain: “Try being a train driver and see how you like it. Most people wouldn’t last a day in the job.” Dec 4, 23:13
gregor on The New Britain: “Up-voting signals that you value Scotland and its people. Down-voting signals that you don’t value Scotland and its people.” Dec 4, 23:07
George Ferguson on The New Britain: “I would agree England is already lost. London, Birmingham and Manchester especially. If only we had voted Independence in 2014.…” Dec 4, 23:04
gregor on The New Britain: “Dear silent negative ones, Wouldn’t you like to resolve our human differences ? Don’t you believe in love (e.g. yourself)…” Dec 4, 23:01
George Ferguson on The New Britain: “A year to 18 months too late.” Dec 4, 22:54
Hatey McHateface on The New Britain: ““tories responsible for forced austerity on the working class for the best part of 10 years” That’ll be the same…” Dec 4, 22:49
Willie Fleming on The New Britain: “Nah, he’s the kind of person who gets honest self-abusers a bad name. He’s more of a plamf.” Dec 4, 22:31
gregor on The New Britain: “Patriotic Mac and Mia (et al) are storming forward at the forefront, contributing a wealth of ideas, information and knowledge…” Dec 4, 22:30
Hatey McHateface on The New Britain: “Here you go, Dave: https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fnarr BTW, either your attention to detail, or your cut-and-paste ability, needs a little work.” Dec 4, 22:30
Willie Fleming on The New Britain: “In short, ignorant Huns and colonists.” Dec 4, 22:28
Robert Hughes on The New Britain: “” jettison all of the conspiracy theorists, 8ussia apologists, self appointed legal scholars, UDI enthusiasts etc. (looking at you Salvo).…” Dec 4, 22:27
Campbell Clansman on The New Britain: “It never ceases to amaze me that people, confronted with government at all levels that claims more and more power…” Dec 4, 22:16
G m on The New Britain: “‘Don’t pronounce the word correctly you fools! You embarrass me.’” Dec 4, 22:12
G m on The New Britain: “Aye, sheer arrogance it is.” Dec 4, 22:11
Michael Laing on The New Britain: “Doing a LOL!” Dec 4, 22:02
sarah on The New Britain: “I’ve been looking at the Auchindrain Township blog – it says that Gaelic names were not allowed to be registered…” Dec 4, 21:58
Mark Beggan on The New Britain: “Cranky and her disciples have already “made Scotland an alien and scary place”.” Dec 4, 21:54
gregor on The New Britain: “#WingsPatriots Hey all you wonderful Wings Patriots, et al Hands up if you value Scotland and its people ??? Let’s…” Dec 4, 21:28
Xaracen on The New Britain: “The United Kingdom Parliament does NOT have unlimited power to make laws in Scotland, and if the Supreme Court has…” Dec 4, 21:24
Hatey McHateface on The New Britain: “We can all admire honesty, Willie, but this time you’ve taken your honesty too far 🙂” Dec 4, 21:09
Hatey McHateface on The New Britain: “If you believe the neo-Tsarist, imperialist and aggressive destroyer of free, sovereign nations is one of your “better arguments”, then…” Dec 4, 21:05
Dave Hansell on The New Britain: ““Fnarr, fnar” Well, there’s a shock. Who would have predicted that. You, of all people, struggling with basic language skills!…” Dec 4, 21:00
Hatey McHateface on The New Britain: “You post on here that you support pres poot and hope for his victory over the sovereign nation, culture and…” Dec 4, 20:53
Dave Hansell on The New Britain: ““You have a very strange concept of right and left.” Precisely. – https://medium.com/@chash_61626/joining-the-dots-61a7760f077e It never ceases to amaze that, on…” Dec 4, 20:49
Hatey McHateface on The New Britain: ““Have you considered joining a library” No point. The libraries will have to close to fund the public sector pay…” Dec 4, 20:48
Willie Fleming on The New Britain: “The kind of person who gets honest self-abusers a bad name – thats who he is.” Dec 4, 20:47