1. That the Tories hadn’t offered the Lib Dems anything on electoral reform. The sudden, desperate and resentful least-possible offer of a referendum on the absolutely useless AV (which does almost nothing for the Lib Dems) was a panic reaction to Brown’s game-changing resignation.
At least, it’s statistically probable that you do. The majority – 53% – of votes cast by the British electorate last Thursday were worthless, because they were cast for candidates who didn’t win, and are therefore simply thrown in the bin by the First Past The Post electoral system.
So if you were one of the thousands of people locked out of polling stations across the country on Thursday night, don’t fret too much. Your vote would probably have been completely ignored anyway.
Because the aim was a hung parliament, and we got just about the hung-est parliament possible. The Tories need the Lib Dems to form a majority, Labour needs nearly everyone to form a majority, and the smallest parties could yet have the crucial say. Wow, that's hung. But what now?
I haven't been to bed yet. I may be cranky. But with over 90% of results in, it's not really possible to draw any conclusions from last night's election other than (a) almost everyone in Britain is a pathetic, brainless cretin, and (b) everything about our "democracy" is a sick black joke at our expense.
With just two days until an election that could mark either one of the greatest days in British political history or one of the blackest, we're all a bit nervous about the future. But one thing that's great for easing tension is free cash, and that's what appears to be on offer from Stan James this week.
The terrifying image above is Ladbrokes' predicted map of the UK come Friday morning. (You can find much more detail on it here.) It makes a few questionable assertions and contradicts itself in a number of places (eg Glasgow East), but where's the money?
So the debates are over. We've heard at great length from three right-wing politicians, offering us three slightly different flavours of right-wing policies. No alternative voices were permitted.
And the really troubling thing about this election is that that means NOBODY is speaking for the majority of the British population. It almost certainly means that nobody is speaking for you. Which, you might think, is a pretty odd way to be running a supposed democracy.
One of the most striking things about the current election is the BBC's total abandonment of even a pretence at impartiality with regard to the nationalist parties in Scotland and Wales (and other smaller parties like UKIP too), which is most obviously visible in the Corporation's determined exclusion of them from the defining theatre of the campaign – the leaders' debates.
In the light of protests pointing out that excluding what Ofcom defines as "main parties" in Scotland and Wales during an election is against broadcasting regulations, the BBC (and ITV and Sky, although the latter subsequently broke ranks – see above) hastily rebranded the programmes as "Prime Ministerial debates", and insisted that they were only for the politicians contesting the keys to 10 Downing Street.
The gigantic irony, of course, is that it looks increasingly as if NONE of the participants in the debates will actually be the next Prime Minister.
Clue: it’s not because they like having sex with children.
It’s because, along with the war in Afghanistan, they’re one of the only two major campaigning issues on which there isn’t even a manufactured illusion of disagreement between the three main parties standing in the General Election of 2010. Everyone is singing in perfect harmony from the same hymn sheet on this one: the unemployed are dangerous and despicable criminals.
Much like Afghanistan, none of the London parties speak for the UK electorate on this important issue. Which is, y'know, kinda strange. You'd think wars and spending scores of billions of pounds on pointless weapons in a recession would be just the sort of thing that would come up during an election as points of contention. But maybe I'm missing something.
Hang on. Is this classic reverse psychology? Does the Daily Mail actually WANT a hung parliament, for doubtless sinister reasons of its own?
Because it's hard to imagine that a major British newspaper could be edited by anyone SO stupid as to think this absurd, hysterical rubbish (based on an out-of-context quote EIGHT years old) could do anything but strengthen the feelings of anyone who's sick of the old Labour-Tory carve-up of this country. So let's help them, eh?
100%Yes on The cost of failure: “The National Says “Labour unwilling to support Scottish industry, John Swinney says”. Here is a prime example of what I…” Dec 5, 09:45
Mark Beggan on The cost of failure: “The porn ban is having a positive effect on society. My eyesight has improved immensely. James watches the porn movie…” Dec 5, 09:41
Hatey McHateface on The cost of failure: “The times they are a-changing, Cynicus. What you state is rapidly becoming irrelevant. Plenty of ordinary Scots are of the…” Dec 5, 07:50
Hatey McHateface on The cost of failure: “See fit ye’ve done noo, Mark? Ye’ve goat James hame frae the pub, an reaching for his sock. Hope the…” Dec 5, 07:37
twathater on Ginger beer and fruit and nuts: “@ JCD If you want independence for Scotland and there is a candidate from Liberate Scotland standing in your constituency…” Dec 5, 03:20
Cynicus on The cost of failure: “Hatey McHateface says: 4 December, 2025 at 8:26 pm “To be fair to El-Nakla, they don’t have high buildings where…” Dec 5, 01:32
Mark Beggan on The cost of failure: ““take the Northern Isles” no thanks. They’re fine where they are. “When not if..” In the name of the wee…” Dec 4, 22:59
Hatey McHateface on The cost of failure: ““Independence will never happen” Ah, c’moan noo, Mark. Never is a very long time. When, not if, independence happens, it…” Dec 4, 22:40
Mark Beggan on The cost of failure: “As the BBC always like to say ‘This is what we know so far .’ Independence will never happen. The…” Dec 4, 21:24
Hatey McHateface on The cost of failure: “To be fair to El-Nakla, they don’t have high buildings where he hails from. He wouldn’t have been aware of…” Dec 4, 20:26
Peter McAvoy on The cost of failure: “On reporting Scotland tonight the report showing John Swinney speaking he called Nigel Farage racist,has he forgotten Humza Youseff’s white,white…” Dec 4, 20:02
Hatey McHateface on The cost of failure: “It’s your craven fear of the “resident multi ID troll” reading here that stops you from writing the faintest outline…” Dec 4, 20:02
Mark Beggan on The cost of failure: “In Scotland even the government’s on Benefits.” Dec 4, 19:53
Mark Beggan on The cost of failure: “‘The public wants what the public gets’. Soar Giro!” Dec 4, 19:50
Hatey McHateface on The cost of failure: ““We must spend the next 6 months showing people the truth and showing them the way to get what we…” Dec 4, 19:49
agentx on The cost of failure: ““Holyrood demands answers over Humza Yousaf and Aamer Anwar friendship as lawyer nets ‘significant public funds’ through public inquiries The…” Dec 4, 19:47
Hatey McHateface on The cost of failure: ““it will take significant time for any initiative to grow and garner decent levels of support” Oh aye, Dan. If…” Dec 4, 19:41
agentx on The cost of failure: ““Humza Yousaf’s brother-in-law goes on trial over ‘extortion and dealing heroin and cocaine’ Ramsay El Nakla, 37, is on trial…” Dec 4, 19:40
Aidan on The cost of failure: “@Dan- why don’t you just state outright what you think rather than setting up these metaphors? I think you seem…” Dec 4, 19:35
Hatey McHateface on The cost of failure: “You’ll still have some popcorn from last time! Hark at me. “Some” popcorn. You’ll still have every last kernel of…” Dec 4, 19:29
sarah on The cost of failure: “@ 100%Yes at 4.46: very well said and spot on. It is the SNP “leadership” that has blocked our escape…” Dec 4, 19:26
Hatey McHateface on The cost of failure: “Money grubbing bastards! They already get well paid for working from 0900 to 1700, with an hour off for lunch.” Dec 4, 19:26
Dan on The cost of failure: “And recent blow in Aidan enters the chat. Of course, Liberate like other initiatives before hasn’t reached significant levels of…” Dec 4, 19:24
Hatey McHateface on The cost of failure: “Dan puts me right, again. Who knew that on Wings BTL, to describe somebody as a “gurning, wee, talent-free wifie”…” Dec 4, 19:22
Willie on The cost of failure: “Strangled by their own Ptard on every metric policy, delivery, evaporated membership, donations, legacies and now voters, the SNP from…” Dec 4, 19:18
David Holden on The cost of failure: “God I hope the yoons pay their keyboard warriors by the word as with any luck our resident multi ID…” Dec 4, 19:13
Anthem on The cost of failure: “Totally agree Sarah. The fun is about to begin.” Dec 4, 19:12