1. That the Tories hadn’t offered the Lib Dems anything on electoral reform. The sudden, desperate and resentful least-possible offer of a referendum on the absolutely useless AV (which does almost nothing for the Lib Dems) was a panic reaction to Brown’s game-changing resignation.
At least, it’s statistically probable that you do. The majority – 53% – of votes cast by the British electorate last Thursday were worthless, because they were cast for candidates who didn’t win, and are therefore simply thrown in the bin by the First Past The Post electoral system.
So if you were one of the thousands of people locked out of polling stations across the country on Thursday night, don’t fret too much. Your vote would probably have been completely ignored anyway.
Because the aim was a hung parliament, and we got just about the hung-est parliament possible. The Tories need the Lib Dems to form a majority, Labour needs nearly everyone to form a majority, and the smallest parties could yet have the crucial say. Wow, that's hung. But what now?
I haven't been to bed yet. I may be cranky. But with over 90% of results in, it's not really possible to draw any conclusions from last night's election other than (a) almost everyone in Britain is a pathetic, brainless cretin, and (b) everything about our "democracy" is a sick black joke at our expense.
With just two days until an election that could mark either one of the greatest days in British political history or one of the blackest, we're all a bit nervous about the future. But one thing that's great for easing tension is free cash, and that's what appears to be on offer from Stan James this week.
The terrifying image above is Ladbrokes' predicted map of the UK come Friday morning. (You can find much more detail on it here.) It makes a few questionable assertions and contradicts itself in a number of places (eg Glasgow East), but where's the money?
So the debates are over. We've heard at great length from three right-wing politicians, offering us three slightly different flavours of right-wing policies. No alternative voices were permitted.
And the really troubling thing about this election is that that means NOBODY is speaking for the majority of the British population. It almost certainly means that nobody is speaking for you. Which, you might think, is a pretty odd way to be running a supposed democracy.
One of the most striking things about the current election is the BBC's total abandonment of even a pretence at impartiality with regard to the nationalist parties in Scotland and Wales (and other smaller parties like UKIP too), which is most obviously visible in the Corporation's determined exclusion of them from the defining theatre of the campaign – the leaders' debates.
In the light of protests pointing out that excluding what Ofcom defines as "main parties" in Scotland and Wales during an election is against broadcasting regulations, the BBC (and ITV and Sky, although the latter subsequently broke ranks – see above) hastily rebranded the programmes as "Prime Ministerial debates", and insisted that they were only for the politicians contesting the keys to 10 Downing Street.
The gigantic irony, of course, is that it looks increasingly as if NONE of the participants in the debates will actually be the next Prime Minister.
Clue: it’s not because they like having sex with children.
It’s because, along with the war in Afghanistan, they’re one of the only two major campaigning issues on which there isn’t even a manufactured illusion of disagreement between the three main parties standing in the General Election of 2010. Everyone is singing in perfect harmony from the same hymn sheet on this one: the unemployed are dangerous and despicable criminals.
Much like Afghanistan, none of the London parties speak for the UK electorate on this important issue. Which is, y'know, kinda strange. You'd think wars and spending scores of billions of pounds on pointless weapons in a recession would be just the sort of thing that would come up during an election as points of contention. But maybe I'm missing something.
Hang on. Is this classic reverse psychology? Does the Daily Mail actually WANT a hung parliament, for doubtless sinister reasons of its own?
Because it's hard to imagine that a major British newspaper could be edited by anyone SO stupid as to think this absurd, hysterical rubbish (based on an out-of-context quote EIGHT years old) could do anything but strengthen the feelings of anyone who's sick of the old Labour-Tory carve-up of this country. So let's help them, eh?
sarah on How To Create Racists: “@ Izzie “people want to know about rates, schools and housing.” But the current SNP aren’t dealing with those either.…” Nov 1, 14:44
Mark Beggan on How To Create Racists: “Remember to wear the cheap suit and the Antifa mask or they won’t know who you are.” Nov 1, 13:40
Mark Beggan on How To Create Racists: “This Luve’ you speak of is that taken analy? You are amongst the right people if you do. Bend over…” Nov 1, 13:24
Aidan on How To Create Racists: “@Any Ellis – the inescapable point being that nobody at the UN has the slightest interest in the ramblings of…” Nov 1, 12:23
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on How To Create Racists: “In support of the valiant work of Alf, Sarah Salyers, and SALVO I post again this link: SCOTLAND AS COLONY…” Nov 1, 11:58
Andy Ellis on How To Create Racists: “@Sam 10.01pm I don’t think many people would accept your assertion that the situations of Northern Ireland and Scotland were…” Nov 1, 11:44
Captain Caveman on How To Create Racists: ““that stuff” Heh. Really? Good grief, “Wee Ginger” is missing a puppy, it would seem.” Nov 1, 11:39
Izzie on How To Create Racists: “Sort doomer. People are not interested in that stuff. They want to know about rates schools and housing. Definitely not…” Nov 1, 11:10
Andy Ellis on How To Create Racists: “@Alf 1.59am Loathe as I am to agree with Hatey at the best of times, he has a point. The…” Nov 1, 11:10
The Flying Iron of Doom on How To Create Racists: ““Just off out to deliver SNP leaflets.” Not sure if troll or serious… Oh well. Just be sure that you…” Nov 1, 10:53
factchecker on How To Create Racists: “Sarah, perhaps he’ll be more use in 7 years when his brain is fully developed (according to SNP-devised sentencing guidelines)” Nov 1, 10:24
Izzie on How To Create Racists: “So…are we being encouraged both votes Reform? Just off out to deliver SNP leaflets. Good polling newss (smiley face). Sining…” Nov 1, 09:43
TURABDIN on How To Create Racists: “A SCOTLAND DIVIDED AGAINST ITS SELF, perfect for handing over the keys of the kingdom to the devil. WHAT DOES…” Nov 1, 09:29
Captain Caveman on How To Create Racists: ““Haud oan, I’ve just been doing some homework, and it turns out youse was all asked if you wanted to…” Nov 1, 09:11
Northcode on How To Create Racists: “I am a big fan of Samuel Langhorne Clemens… this is one of his I have mangled to suit my…” Nov 1, 09:02
Northcode on How To Create Racists: “Good morning, my fellow Scots… my colonized compatriots. Aphorism of the day: “Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a…” Nov 1, 08:51
Hatey McHateface on How To Create Racists: “One merchant banker. There’s only one merchant banker. [set to the tune “Guantanamera” – words repeat indefinitely]” Nov 1, 07:36
Hatey McHateface on How To Create Racists: “@ Alf Baird says: 1 November, 2025 at 1:59 am “a geographical area that is given a free referendum on…” Nov 1, 07:32
Young Lochinvar on How To Create Racists: “Arrange a date and recreate the arranged fight to the death on the North Inch of Perth.. Historical precedent and…” Nov 1, 02:29
Alf Baird on How To Create Racists: ““a geographical area that is given a free referendum on Independence” You need to keep up Hatey. Several electoral mandates…” Nov 1, 01:59
Peter McAvoy on How To Create Racists: “Scotland will be to weak to resist reform uk. Bullshit do your job and tell people that you will resist…” Nov 1, 01:53
willie on How To Create Racists: “Just had a reply to post to you George on the matter of c*ns*rsh*p and how extensive I think it…” Nov 1, 01:29
willie on How To Create Racists: “Posts disappearing into the ether has become a regular issue. I am aware of it, and so are others. Censorship…” Nov 1, 01:25
willie on How To Create Racists: “Just picking up on the issue of colonialism but I could help but see a clearer example of this than…” Nov 1, 01:15
James on How To Create Racists: “Who’s pulling your Yoon yoyo, Beggan?” Oct 31, 23:42
James on How To Create Racists: “We’ve already got at least 4 basic yoon bots; “Caveman” “#SitePrick1” “Chas” “Aidan”” Oct 31, 23:40
George Ferguson on How To Create Racists: “Another post disappeared into the ether. A post that was supportive of Stus rationale in the original article. Another yellow…” Oct 31, 22:52
Hatey McHateface on How To Create Racists: ““it is the UK government that decides when/if we might decide our constitutional future” Sure, we don’t get a free…” Oct 31, 22:50