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Not quite anytime 118

Posted on June 24, 2014 by

“Better Together” spokesman, 27 September 2013:

“David Cameron does not have a vote in this referendum. Alistair Darling does. He is ready to debate Alex Salmond any time and any place.”

Letter from Danny Alexander MP to Alex Salmond, 30 Jan 2014:

“Alistair Darling, leader of the Better Together campaign, has said he is willing to debate with you, as leader of the pro-independence campaign, anytime, anywhere.”

The Telegraph, 23 June 2014:

The pro-UK Better Together campaign withdrew from the contest, complaining that STV was allowing the First Minister to dictate when the show would be broadcast.”

So, just “anywhere”, then.

Unsolvable paradox solved 97

Posted on June 24, 2014 by

Here’s “Better Together” communications director Rob Shorthouse this morning:

bungalowdebate

And here’s the Telegraph this evening (our emphasis):

“Plans for the first proposed Scottish independence TV debate between Alex Salmond and Alistair Darling have collapsed in acrimony following a row over the date.

The pro-UK Better Together campaign withdrew from the contest, complaining that STV was allowing the First Minister to dictate when the show would be broadcast.”

We’re always willing to believe that “Better Together” are lying, because they usually are. We’re always willing to believe the Telegraph is lying, because it usually is. But on this occasion, ONE of them must be telling the truth. Frankly, readers, we have no idea what to think.

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You can trust the Labour Party 95

Posted on June 24, 2014 by

There’s an interesting article on the Guardian today from the invariably-excellent former music journalist John Harris entitled “The crisis in the Labour party goes much deeper than Ed Miliband”, which looks at how a 280-page policy document published this month by the Labour-leaning IPPR thinktank was boiled down by the party for public and media consumption to “cutting benefits for young people”.

That got us to thinking about something, but luckily before we’d wasted too much time on thinking we discovered that Labour Uncut had helpfully already done the research we were about to embark on for us.

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Positive case finally unveiled 160

Posted on June 24, 2014 by

And this time we’re not being sarcastic. We were bemused yesterday when a number of people on Twitter started swapping referendum-based jokes about Stanley Baxter, who for younger readers used to be some sort of pantomime star and vaudeville performer. The jokes were explained today when it was revealed, to our considerable surprise, that Mr Baxter was in fact still alive and urging a No vote in the referendum.

baxter

Baxter, who left Scotland 55 years ago and told the Times that he now returns only for “the odd funeral”, nevertheless felt able to assert from these occasional visits that support for a Yes vote was founded in hatred for the English from simple-witted Scots who “don’t know any better” caused by “Braveheart” and hey, stay awake at the back there because we’re coming to the important bit.

And that’s that the comedian, who made a career out of telling TV viewers that the people of Glasgow had hilarious incomprehensible accents in need of translating into proper English, also went on to (no doubt impeccably) articulate the real reason, never previously spoken aloud, that the No campaign wants Scotland to stay part of the UK.

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A letter from Quebec 227

Posted on June 23, 2014 by

As a French Quebecer belonging to a generation that was deeply influenced by Harry Potter, it was with great interest and concern that I read JK Rowling’s recent letter on why she opposes Scotland’s independence.

quebec

Of herself and her fellow Scots, she justly writes that “whatever Scotland decides, we will probably find ourselves justifying our choice to our grandchildren.”

Well, I’m one of those grandchildren previous generations now find themselves having to justify their decisions to, and I can tell you how it went for us.

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They are not like us 162

Posted on June 22, 2014 by

This is from today’s Scottish Sun. (Click to enlarge.)

murdo25

Murdo Fraser actually thinks that houses getting 25% more expensive while wages grow by just 0.7% is a GOOD thing. He really believes that “It’ll cost an extra £23,000 to buy a house if you vote No” is a plus point for staying in the UK.

That’s all we’ve got on that one, folks.

The false borders 281

Posted on June 21, 2014 by

The second weekend in June played host to the Selkirk Common Riding, the oldest of the Ridings events in the Scottish Borders. For the uninitiated, this centuries-old tradition incorporates a series of festivities in the town, the centrepiece of which is a cavalcade of several hundred horses galloping around the perimeter of the Royal Burgh, ensuring the town’s ancient boundaries are in good order (ie that no pesky Sassenachs have invaded the territory).

Despite being raised in the nearby village of Ashkirk and attending Selkirk High School, I was never interested in the Riding. Even in primary school whilst being taught the lyrics to “Auld Selkirk” and “Hail Smilin Morn” it didn’t seem relevant – I only went to my first ride-out last year because my Polish girlfriend was intrigued.

selkirkjack

That’s when the penny dropped.

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Hello, Daily Mail readers! 159

Posted on June 21, 2014 by

And welcome. If you’ve come to our humble little site to see the nasty man at the head of the “highly controversial cyber organisation” described in this hilarious article, there’s a couple of things you should probably know. Because – and we apologise if this comes as a shock to you – the Daily Mail doesn’t always tell the truth.

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Don’t tell them your name, Pike 297

Posted on June 20, 2014 by

If you’re not on Twitter, readers, you’ve been missing ALL the fun today.

daillylist2

Above are just the creepiest two of a series of tweets posted this morning by “social justice campaigner” Mike Dailly of the Govan Law Centre – previously known to those of this parish – to the effect that he’d really rather prefer if people stopped following my personal Twitter account, @RevStu, because I was so all-around awful.

It didn’t work out quite as well as he’d hoped.

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Good faith and bad practice 160

Posted on June 20, 2014 by

The other day we highlighted a really good piece in the Scottish Sun, which while not perfect was a pretty decent stab at the sort of evidence-based journalism Scotland’s media should have been doing throughout the referendum campaign.

sunpound

Today, not so much.

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Quoted for Nazis, again 158

Posted on June 19, 2014 by

Kerry Gill in the Scottish Daily Express, 19 June 2014:

“Think back to the Second World War, as we have all been doing this month in commemoration of the D–Day landings. The BBC was foremost in selling the rightness of Britain’s eventual victory to the rest of the world.

It was most certainly not unbiased or objective. If it had been, the German Gestapo and their Axis colleagues would not have spent all their days and nights trying to stop anyone from listening to BBC broadcasts.

Of course, you will say, the independence referendum is entirely different. We are not at war with each other. We are discussing the merits or otherwise of separation in a, mostly, sensible and grown–up manner.

It is the BBC’s duty to report all that is said and done without bias, and without favour to either side whether Unionists or Nationalists. But, for the reasons above, I don’t believe this should be so.”

Yes, you really did read that in a “Scottish” national newspaper, folks: the BBC should be biased against independence because it was biased against the Nazis. You can go ahead and follow that wee gem through to its logical conclusion yourself.

The missing questions 416

Posted on June 19, 2014 by

A number of papers today report a manufactured furore concerning some comments we made on Twitter a couple of days ago about Tory MSP Alex Johnstone while watching Scotland Tonight. The Herald, astonishingly, makes it the second-lead story on its website, with political editor Magnus Gardham gleefully seizing the opportunity to stick the boot in after being the subject of much criticism on this site.

heraldscum

The Times also has a large piece about the tweet and it gets a quarter page in the Daily Mail, while the Scotsman’s coverage is more muted – which is perhaps out of embarrassment at coming on the same day the paper had to grudgingly publish a belated correction and “apology” for two grotesque and utterly false smears about us last week. Even Holyrood Magazine gets in on the act, as does the Courier.

That’s all fine and good. Getting monstered by Unionist newspapers isn’t exactly a new experience for us, after all. But there’s something odd about all of the stories.

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    • James on A Stitch In Timing: “You joined the other team.Feb 7, 23:55
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    • Hatey McHateface on A Stitch In Timing: “Were they about goose stepping by any chance? Relax. You’ve already covered that to the best of your ability.Feb 7, 20:42
    • Alf Baird on A Stitch In Timing: ““not sure what your point is” Postcolonial theory tells us that the more culturally assimilated native bourgeoisie, being “the most…Feb 7, 20:41
    • Hatey McHateface on A Stitch In Timing: “@Alf I never made the team either. You have my sympathy. Like you, I still remember how much it hurt.…Feb 7, 20:37
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    • factchecker on A Stitch In Timing: “The ProfessorHechter is quoted as saying “Within the Celtic Periphery this also meant that the English held: ‘a disproportionate share…Feb 7, 19:43
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    • Alf Baird on A Stitch In Timing: “You maybe don’t remember ‘Rugby Legends for No’, reflecting the more privileged culturally assimilated native groups greater propensity to oppose…Feb 7, 18:31
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