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The End… OR IS IT? 131

Posted on December 18, 2013 by

Spain’s supposed threat to veto Scottish membership of the EU is like one of those serial killers on a student campus in a slash ‘n gore movie. No matter how many times the evil maniac is stabbed, hit over the head with bricks, shot 46 times through the lungs with a depleted-uranium blunderbuss, drowned in boiling acid or baked in a kiln with the pottery-class homework, he’s still stalking the heroine in the final scene.

handgrave

Today the vampiric figure of a Spanish EU veto threat received yet another silver, garlic-coated stake through the heart. But we expect it to get up and walk again every other week until September 2014 regardless.

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What Mariano Rajoy didn’t say 234

Posted on November 28, 2013 by

In “breaking news” during a dull ding-dong of a debate on Wednesday’s Newsnight Scotland, we were breathlessly told that Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy had made an important intervention in the debate about whether Scotland should keep paying for railway lines between London and Birmingham, weapons of mass destruction and Ian Davidson’s expenses. (We paraphrase.)

rajoy

Stopping just short of a drum-roll or mariachi band (yes, those are Mexican, but are you telling us BBC Scotland would know the difference?), viewers were dramatically informed that in a major new development Mariano Rajoy had said… exactly what he’s been saying for most of the last two years. 

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The Great Gingerbread Robbery 216

Posted on November 02, 2013 by

When you’re a full time carer, managing to get out for an hour or so to the local branch of Morrisons to get the weekly shopping counts as ‘quality me time’. It allows me to stock up on favourite munchies and comfort food. I like a wee slice of Kirriemuir gingerbread, slathered with butter. The other half enjoys a thick slab of it in a bowl, covered in Devon custard with a dollop of double cream. Bugger the cholesterol.

But the other day there was none in the usual aisle, just a pile of Christmas cakes.

gingerbread

I asked a guy stocking shelves where they’d moved it to. He apologised, and told me there wasn’t any in stock. All the ordering is done by Head Office down in England he said, and they’d sent instructions that no more would be ordered until the New Year in order to make space for piles of Christmas cake. In October.

Who eats Christmas cake in October anyway?

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    • Captain Caveman on Only An Excuse: “@Hatey Yes, I think YL is “identifying” me (how very left wing) as some thunder-thighed chubby lass, apparently as based…May 25, 08:56
    • Northcode on Only An Excuse: “Here is Point Seven in my eight point pattern of points: Seven: The dignity of … Ach, you know what?…May 25, 07:38
    • Bilbo on Only An Excuse: “The same is being said about Andy Burnham https://archive.is/VadTi The fake working class/poverty stricken childhood Shtick has been going on…May 25, 06:17
    • Young Lochinvar on Only An Excuse: “Happy anniversary today of the birth of Robert the Bruce. Known as Good King Robert, through personal loss and hardship…May 25, 00:44
    • Geri on Only An Excuse: “The military has lost a lot of respect since WW2 because it’s just not cool to mow down defenceless civilians…May 25, 00:06
    • Geri on Only An Excuse: “Countries used to be treated like a pariah state for assassinating other Sovereign countries leaders. Then the Americans took over…May 24, 23:26
    • Young Lochinvar on Only An Excuse: “I’mnogay McI’mnogayface @ 7.18 Yes, I did indeed laugh about C3 wanting to be a piece of ladies intimate toiletries..…May 24, 22:58
    • Aidan on Only An Excuse: “He can be replaced, but only by Trump sending in the bombers!May 24, 22:22
    • Geri on Only An Excuse: “They can vote him out, ya eejit. & So can his government. I know it’s hard to imagine, cause your…May 24, 22:06
    • Geri on Only An Excuse: “That was a funny autocorrect…lol I really need to turn that off.May 24, 21:50
    • Geri on Only An Excuse: “& btw, that was only cause they’d came back from WW1. They’d little option but amend voting rights. They’d just…May 24, 21:41
    • Hatey McHateface on Only An Excuse: “Vote out a president, Geri? You’re having yet another laugh at Scotland’s expense. You think we’ve forgotten your admiration for…May 24, 21:37
    • Hatey McHateface on Only An Excuse: “@CC 11:46 The Auld Man Of Lochnagar has quite a hyperactive imagination, hasn’t he? Forever posting about shirt lifting. Forever…May 24, 21:17
    • Hatey McHateface on Only An Excuse: “Why, Geri? Are you having an organism again?May 24, 20:59
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    • Geri on Only An Excuse: “Factchecker We don’t live in a democracy. Westminster is just pantomime for the plebs to keep us from rioting. The…May 24, 20:04
    • Hatey McHateface on Only An Excuse: “Purves, eh, Alf? The pantheon continues to grow.. Was/is he/she a Scot? Or are you going to continue to pursue…May 24, 20:02
    • Hatey McHateface on Only An Excuse: ““Call a spade a spade” Sure, Bilbo. What kind of infantile fantasist decides to call himself after a Hobbit?May 24, 19:53
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    • Hatey McHateface on Only An Excuse: “Sae mony points, yet nae point, Northy. Can’t believe I’m the first to point that oot!May 24, 19:21
    • Hatey McHateface on Only An Excuse: “Ah weel, Auld Lochnagar, yer service was in defence o a furrin croon. Might just be admirable, per se, but…May 24, 19:18
    • factchecker on Only An Excuse: “Well don, NC. Further to the earlier point: factchecker says: 24 May, 2026 at 4:32 pm Absolutely. We have always…May 24, 18:59
    • Northcode on Only An Excuse: “Here is Point Six in my eight point pattern of points: Six: A tragic sense of history Not defeatist —…May 24, 17:54
    • Northcode on Only An Excuse: “Here is Point Five in my eight point pattern of points: Five: Pragmatism — ideas must work in the real…May 24, 17:19
    • Northcode on Only An Excuse: “You confuse the notion of a democratic philosophy with a political process… these are not the same. Open your mind…May 24, 17:12
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