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The apprentice

Posted on August 11, 2015 by

You can’t move for Michelle Mone in the media today, which is just the way she likes it. Almost every newspaper and broadcaster has been running lengthy stories and interviews about the publicity-craving ex-Labour supporter being commissioned by Iain Duncan Smith to produce a report on starting up businesses in disadvantaged areas.

apprentice

(So excited was Mone – who now backs the Conservatives and is widely expected to be given a peerage in the next honours list by David Cameron for campaigning against Scottish independence – to be working for IDS that she just couldn’t keep the news in until the midnight embargo on the press release, tweeting it at 11pm last night.)

Nationalists have in the main reacted to Mone’s apparent imminent ennoblement as an unelected lawmaker in the manner you’d expect, but they’re not the only people to question her credentials as an expert business adviser and employment guru. So we thought we’d do a little digging and compiling.

Mone is inevitably described by the papers as a “lingerie tycoon” (or if it’s a tabloid, “bra tycoon”), on account of having founded the Ultimo underwear firm in 1996. Mone formed the company with redundancy money she received after being sacked from a marketing job with brewers Labatt’s, having secured employment with them by lying about her qualifications.

But Ultimo wasn’t the runaway success the press habitually portray it as. The highest annual profit we can find it ever recording (it was a private company for most of its life) was a modest £919,000 in 2008, which had plunged to just £1,418 by 2012.

More recently it had posted a series of losses – £547,000 in 2013 and £780,000 in 2014, when its parent company MJM International ceased trading with net liabilities of £287,000. Mone had offloaded 80% of her shares to a Sri Lankan conglomerate in order to focus on new businesses selling fake tan and diet pills (of which more later).

Mone’s personal worth is estimated at between £20m and £37m depending on which source you believe. She seems to have made considerably more money personally than Ultimo ever did, though there’s no suggestion of anything sinister – Mone also, for example, has a lucrative sideline “giving back” by charging budding entrepreneurs £10,000 a pop for “mentoring” at her plush £30,000-a-month riverside apartment near Tower Bridge and giving motivational speeches for £20,000.

Her record in employment terms, however – the ostensible reason for the Department for Work and Pensions commissioning her report – is somewhat less impressive than her ability to accumulate an enormous personal fortune while running a loss-making business. Over 90% of Ultimo’s workforce was employed in China, in what the Daily Record alleged in 2004 were sweatshop conditions.

The company’s Scottish workforce numbered just a few dozen people, but Mone still managed to come out on the wrong side of two high-profile employment tribunals.

In 2014 operations director Scott Kilday won £16,000 for unfair dismissal after Mone bugged his office and made his job “unbearable”, and in 2006 supervisor Claire Woods was awarded £11,000 for constructive dismissal after Mone cut her hours when she became pregnant. Woods described working under Mone as “an atmosphere of poison, intimidation and explosive rows”.

During the case Mone told BBC Radio Scotland that:

“I’m from the east end of Glasgow and I am for the people. But there’s too much about the people. There’s 90 per cent for the employee and 10 per cent for the employer.”

Personal issues appear to have contributed to at least some of Mone’s behaviour as an employer. The Woods case played out against a backdrop of the disintegration of Mone’s marriage to business partner Michael. In February this year she confessed to having committed several violent crimes when the union broke up, including “trashing” a £100,000 Porsche, destroying his clothes and putting laxatives in his coffee.

(Mone accused Michael of having an affair with Ultimo employee Samantha Bunn, who she quickly fired. When Bunn threatened an unfair-dismissal lawsuit, denying the allegations, Mone bought her off for £10,000.)

But politics seems to make her almost as angry as domestic matters. She renounced Labour in 2009, describing the 50p top rate of tax as a “disgrace”, and in 2011 called for rioters in London to be shot dead or, if captured alive, denied all human rights.

monehr1

(Mone is, in fairness, no stranger to changing sides, having converted from Protestant to Catholicism when she fell pregnant as a teenager.)

The handful of Ultimo employees actually based in Scotland (just 42, according to the 2010 Guardian piece linked in the paragraph above) were frequently used as political hostages. Mone threatened to remove the company from Scotland in 2007 if the SNP won the Holyrood election, and made the same threat in 2012 over the independence referendum. In the end she didn’t leave when the SNP won in 2007, but did leave despite No winning the referendum.

A pivotal part in Ultimo’s fleeting success is frequently said in the press to have been played by the oft-repeated assertion that one of the company’s bras was worn by Julia Roberts in the 2000 movie Erin Brockovich. In May of that same year the film’s costume designer Jeffrey Kurland flatly denied it, saying he made the bras in question himself and plaintively asking “How can anyone take credit for something they didn’t do?”, but Mone continued to make the claim (and as far as we know still does).

Having abandoned the failing lingerie business, Mone now, as noted above, operates companies selling fake tan and diet pills. The £32-a-month pills promise weight loss if the user eats 1500 calories a day – 25% below the recommended daily intake for a woman – and does regular exercise.

Readers might find themselves wondering whether someone who’s exercising and not eating enough might not lose weight anyway without the need for expensive pills, and an independent analysis by the Diet Pills Watchdog website in October 2014 rejected the product’s advertising blurb, concluding:

“There is no apparent appetite suppressing ingredient to match the claims of the manufacturers that this is an appetite suppressant. It is likely that many of the people who experienced significant weight loss did so because they were following the diet program that comes with the product as well as using the product itself.”

Diet Spotlight, meanwhile, found that “this product seems to be comparable to a multivitamin supplement. However, it costs more money… there are no ingredients for fat burning or boosting your metabolism”, and Diet Pills Review was also sceptical:

“It is great that Michelle lost all that weight using her own company’s diet plan, but it would be even greater if she would allow some independent verification of the contents of her magic pills and the plan that backs them up.

Normally a company is only to pleased to announce exactly what their pills contain, and then give us pages of data to back up their claims to the effectiveness of their product, but this is not the case with Trimsecrets.

The business has not been a conspicuous success. The accounts for Trim Secrets Ltd show a steady decrease in net value from the date of its creation, and the most recent trading figures put that value in the red, ie the company is essentially bankrupt. But at least it has some accounts. Mone’s other non-lingerie businesses are shrouded in mystery.

The most high-profile, UTan, has a rather fuzzy history. The product has been on sale since 2012, and supposedly in development since 2009, but the company selling it – Ubeauty Global Ltd – has only existed since November 2014 and has never published any accounts, although the Daily Mail did run a vague stat-free puff piece “celebrating” its “success” as recently as June this year.

(Presumably it was previously part of the loss-making Ultimo.)

Mone’s other cosmetic line was the USculpt range, including Boobs Minus, a “breast reduction in a bottle”, and its counterpart Boobs Plus. Both have allegedly been in development since 2009 and suggest – in language which dances precariously around the edges of Trading Standards law – that they can alter the dimensions and volume of a woman’s breasts using only a cream.

Though any doctor on Earth will tell you such effects are physiologically impossible, and the claims on a level with email spam for pills that promise to increase penis size, Mone – playing shamelessly on her supposed years of expertise in the bosom-related field – was happy to insist that both were true, telling Cosmopolitan that:

“I developed the products as an alternative to surgery and evasive [sic] procedures… Creating a range of body solution creams is a natural progression for me, it’s taken a lot of time and effort but we’re finally there.”

(Weirdly, one online retailer claimed that Boobs Minus was actually to hydrate and “plump up” your breasts, which seems like the opposite of reducing them.)

Officially priced at an eye-watering £39.50 for a 150ml bottle, Boobs Plus can now be found on Amazon for as little as £4.99, where it ambitiously claims to “Re-plump, lift and firm as it assists in volumising the bust for more voluptuous, curvier contours”, and more specifically to enlarge the user’s breasts by one cup size.

Boobs Minus, appropriately, can be bought for even less – just £4.85 for women who want to “tighten, lift and firm” and “re-shape and re-sculpt the bust for a sleeker, tauter skin surface”. Ultimo USculpt Bum, Leg And Tum is cheapest of all Mone’s miracle “body solution creams” at a bargain £4.65, a generous 88% discount on RRP.

boobsplus

Michelle Mone is a businesswoman whose most famous company made a few years of unspectacular profits then tanked, despite an endless stream of free advertising in newspapers only too delighted to have any excuse to publish celebrity gossip and fallouts combined with pictures of pretty girls in their underwear.

(One thing Mone indisputably has a talent for is knowing how to get the attention of tabloid editors, and she’s left a long trail of unhappy Ultimo figureheads in her wake to do it. She fired Kelly Brook for being “unwholesome”, dispensed with the services of Abbey Clancy for doing advertisements for a shoe company, gave Katie Price the boot for swearing, sacked the late Peaches Geldof when some private topless photos appeared on the internet, did the same thing to former MP Lembit Opik’s friend Katie Green – who Mone ironically accused of being “publicity-hungry” – and hired Rod Stewart’s ex-wife Rachel Hunter to replace his girlfriend Penny Lancaster, sacrificing a long friendship with the singer in the process. Each incident of course duly secured more spreads in the red-tops, lavishly illustrated with yet more lingerie-clad models.)

Since then she’s tried to flog various kinds of dodgy cosmetic snake-oil without any detectable success, and her main sources of income now seem to be offloading her remaining Ultimo shares and giving speeches and advice to credulous entrepreneurs telling them how to replicate her (non-existent) business triumphs, in what’s basically a high-end version of those flyers you see on lampposts offering to tell you how to “EARN ££££s FROM HOME”, which turn out to be selling booklets advising you to put flyers on lampposts telling people how to “EARN ££££s FROM HOME”.

(There’s a curious parallel between her career and that of her ideological ally, former Labour spin doctor John McTernan, who’s also inexplicably regularly paid to give other people advice despite a long track record of failure.)

Her record as an employer is unseemly, littered with outsourcing, unfair dismissals, bullying and blackmail. She resents taxation, employee rights and human rights for criminals, despite admitting to being one herself.

(We can’t help pondering what penalty Mone would call for if a London rioter trashed HER expensive car in the way she did to her then-husband’s.)

On the whole, then, if we were a would-be entrepreneur in a disadvantaged area, we wouldn’t hold out too much hope of the Mone Report turning our life and community around. We’re also not too sure that political life in the UK will be greatly enhanced by the addition of Michelle Mone’s razor-sharp lawmaking brain to the House Of Lords, though doubtless a few dusty old peers will have their day brightened.

Iain Duncan Smith, we suspect, won’t pay a terribly great deal of attention to his new protegé‘s report if and when it eventually comes out early next year, because even he’s not daft enough to think that Michelle Mone is actually a business genius. The report’s main purpose – trolling the Nats – has already been served.

.

EDIT 13 August: Since we published this article, the Herald has revealed that while running Ultimo, Mone and her husband both “avoided tax using a scheme of the kind branded ‘morally repugnant’ by Chancellor George Osborne”, and reported that other business chiefs have protested against her hiring by the government, with one saying “There is no way she is qualified to advise anybody on setting up a profitable business, because, quite simply, she hasn’t”.

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  1. 11 08 15 11:32

    The apprentice | Politics Scotland | Scoop.it

  2. 11 08 15 12:43

    The apprentice | Speymouth

247 to “The apprentice”

  1. Lewis says:

    About 14 years ago Michelle was invited to my school, at one time her school, to talk to pupils about careers etc.

    It boiled down to – don’t worry about exams or working hard in class, I didn’t and look at me.

    Solid advice.

  2. The Man in the Jar says:

    There’s a good Scots word that describes Ms Mone. Scunner!

  3. Yesemite Sam says:

    I am sure the Tories know all of this. They also know she is almost always assured front page coverage. Thus, giving her this meaningless position will keep her and them in the news and provide the (sorely needed) justification for the peerage.

  4. heedtracker says:

    It just goes to show, the UK really is the land of opportunity. But that House of Lords slot for Michelle is right up there with their Sir Danny Alexander. Michty me.

  5. Doug Daniel says:

    With a CV like that, it’s no wonder she back the Tories. The only thing she’s actually succeeded in selling is her own image, so they’re a perfect match.

    She sounds like every other “entrepreneur” who’s had one semi-success and then spent the rest of their lives kidding on that they’re some sort of business genius, and demanding that nobody should be allowed to touch their money (which they amassed completely independently of the environment they and their business grew up in, of course…)

    If a pro-indy business person did half the things she’s done, the media would be all over them like a rash. In fact, I’ve seen several would-be SNP candidates being trashed in the media for far, far less.

  6. gillie says:

    Mone may have considerable assets up front but her liabilities are all behind her.

  7. Andy Nimmo says:

    Brilliant dissection. Well done.
    It surely begs the question though, who are the fools prepared to pay the staggering amounts to listen to a proven failure.
    Can I start up my own company, advising government departments?
    I have no experience of running a successful company either.

  8. heedtracker says:

    Good old progressive liberal rancid The Graun likes Lady Mone too

    https://archive.is/LT5Fa

    Again, michty me!

  9. ahundredthidiot says:

    Here’s what I have to say about Ms Mone…..

    ……oh fuck it, I can’t be bothered

  10. Colin Church says:

    Wall to wall trolling.

    BBC and MSM in Scotland desperately trying to fill the void of a labour opposition.

    Kay(e) denying Mone a Tory peer because not confirmed by no 10 to an exasperated caller.

    Mone sits back and waits for vile cybernat abuse to keep the circus going.

  11. Jaggy Thistle says:

    Brilliant! Well done Rev!

  12. Lorraine Fannin says:

    This ‘big idea’ is of course just spin and publicity as Yesemite Sam said. The Princes Business Trust has been doing exactly what IDS and Moan are proposing for years. Prominent Scottish businessmen have backed the organisation and staff have worked hard with much success. (By the way, this isn’t about Royalty, it’s about people quietly doing a good job).

    Maybe they are actually recruiting her to help ditch the Human Rights Act.

  13. Johannah Buchan says:

    Reminds me of a little fifth quoted in one of my industrial psychology text books a loooong time ago.
    “The working class can kiss my arse
    I’ve got the foreman’s job at last!”

  14. GallusEffie says:

    Michelle tweeted “All dreams come true if we have the courage to pursue them” which Rev RT during “Balcony and Damehood Day”

    I replied: 7m UK carers dream of being treated like the rest of the working population. 21 years of hard dreaming for me.

    Then: Just adding, every time you & all those peers you see in the HoL claiming £300/day? That = 665 hrs of care I do.

    The thought of that women having the neck to come into my community and LECTURE the likes of me about “dreaming” and “confidence” gives me the utter rage.

    She wouldn’t last a day doing what I do.

  15. Grouse Beater says:

    Such a fragrant lady the object of derision? No!

    https://grousebeater.wordpress.com/2015/08/01/of-tarts-and-old-farts/

  16. Johannah Buchan says:

    Reminds me of a little ditty quoted in one of my industrial psychology text books a loooong time ago.
    “The working class can kiss my arse
    I’ve got the foreman’s job at last!”

  17. Joemcg says:

    Wow! Has IDS not read her resume? Calling her a charlatan nutter is too kind.

  18. Big Jock says:

    So to sum up. A thoroughly odious woman. She will do well in the Tory party!Scotland is well rid of her.

    Sling yer bra hook hen.

  19. Hamish100 says:

    May be apocryphal.
    Female Flying on aircraft sitting by herself to London.
    But No. She is accompanied by her hat sitting next to her.

    Keeps the plebs away!

    Wasn’t her business acumen in part supported by her ex?

  20. cearc says:

    An excellent piece.

    Did you forget to mention that she doesn’t like cats? Or is that implicit?

  21. Grouse Beater says:

    Why is that broom not wearing an Ultima bra?

  22. ArtyHetty says:

    Blimey wouldn’t want to bump into her in a dark ally, she sounds like a nasty piece of work all round.

    I wonder how many young entrepreneurs there are in disadvantaged areas and how many are desperate for Mone to mentor them.

    Disgraceful waste of public money, utterly disgraceful.

  23. Jean-Loup says:

    She sounds like she makes her money trying to flog the types of things that end up in my email’s spam folder.

  24. I covered a lot of similar ground when I put her on the cover of Glasgow Scooped the month before last.

    A self-promoter and sell out who has escaped a lot of the scrutiny she undoubtedly deserves.

    http://www.glasgowscooped.com/download/scooped-issue-2-pdf/

  25. Macart says:

    Heh, if that’s their best effort at trolling…

    Personally I thought Alexander’s more of a slap. All grist for the mill though.

    Just smile and wave boys and girls… smile and wave. 🙂

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOvmRSYeSJY

  26. Capella says:

    Sounds like ideal H o L material to me.

  27. donald anderson says:

    Wots her views on foreign slaves in her overseas Bra sweatshops? Good old fashioned British Nationalism eh?

    Will she be looking for more tits to fill her new Bra Business enterprise? Lab-Con for a complete model set?

  28. Sandra says:

    She sounds a bit unstable to me.

    But what is it with IDS and air headed blondes? We no sooner get shot of Esther McVile when up pops another to take the meeja heat off him.

  29. Anne Gorman says:

    Lewis if you look at her original tweet she summed up her lack of education in one word – steel. As an educationalist I would never criticise anyone’s spelling as I’m well aware of the difficulties faced by some of the children I teach but in her case I’ll make an exception!

  30. Lesley-Anne says:

    I’m just a wee bit curious here. 😉

    As indicated by Stu above Moaning Minnie charges £10,000 a go to attend one of her *ahem* mentoring courses for budding entrepreneurs. I just have one itsy bitsy teeny weeny little question here. Where the hell does she expect the unemployed folks she will be speaking to get the *cough* requisite £10,000 from to go and talk to her? 😀

  31. Jim says:

    BBC News:

    “She sold an 80% stake in the firm last year in a multi-million pound deal.”

    “It asked Ms Mone to draw on her own experiences, which included leaving school with no qualifications and having a child at 18.

    “My philosophy is that it does not matter where you are from, what education you have, or if you are from an affluent background or not, you can make it if you work hard, set your goals and never give up.”

    _________________
    I don’t understand; was the business failing or not and if so, why would an 80% stake be worth millions?

    Okay; there are some people who have left school with no qualifications and have gone onto great success, Richard Branson being a notable example but this is no basis for living your life!

    Saying, “Don’t worry about exams because, look at me, I left school without an education and it didn’t do me any harm”, is not the soundest of advice to give anyone.

    By all means encourage people to start up their own business but also stress to them in their school years that whatever they choose to do after leaving school it is best to have an education to fall back on if it all goes wrong.

    Success in business is a lottery and like the lottery there are very few winners, “it could be you”, but also, you could be waiting a long time to be an overnight success.

  32. David Wardrope says:

    I’m finding it slightly amusing imagining Rev. doing extensive research into diet pills and calorie intake to help pen this article 🙂

  33. George says:

    Mrs Money split from her Husband a few years ago. Right before her business went into free fall. Makes you wonder who the brains of the outfit was.

  34. msean says:

    Just another in a long queue of folk getting their reward for working against Scotland. Will go well with all the working class sirs and lords. I take that the Unionist vote has now gone down seeing that they all moved to London. 🙂

  35. David says:

    @ David Wardrope, oh yes! New ‘franchise’ opening soon,
    Wings over Weightwatchers. 🙂

  36. Joemcg says:

    Jim-remember those “facts” are provided by the state broadcaster!

  37. Fred says:

    Deariefuckinme! I had her on a pedestal tae!

  38. One_Scot says:

    She seems to be a facade who embodies everything about Capitalism that I find repulsive.

  39. R-type Grunt says:

    Please feel free to correct me if I’m wrong but did this same woman not spend all last summer encouraging Scots to remain the subsidy junkies her & her ilk maintain that we are?

    It’s a conundrum.

  40. Bill McDermott says:

    Who was the business guru – Michelle or her husband? She seemed to me just to be the self-publicist while he drove the business.

    Another thing was that Ultimo was re-floated after its run of losses with help from business angel, Tom Hunter.

  41. G says:

    Excellent article!

    Herald journalists were told not to write anything critical about Michelle. I wonder if that will change now that she looks to be elevated to government.

    Not that it matters. Everything we need to know is set out on this page, and is the perfect place to direct the curious.

  42. Scottish Lass says:

    Ehhh…fat men too..not just women.

  43. R-type Grunt says:

    Also, didn’t IDS himself do a tour many years ago of all the most deprived council estates in Scotland in order to ascertain how best to help these unfortunate people?

    That worked out well.

  44. Ian Brotherhood says:

    @Lesley-Anne –

    Presumably, she won’t be charging wee Jimmy and Jeanie in The Drum 10k a pop to listen to her pearls of wisdom – that must be what she means when she says she’s ‘giving back’.

    It will be good to see her ‘report’ to IDS in the fullness of time, although one suspects it won’t contain an accurate tally of how many times she was told to GTF.

  45. gus1940 says:

    Given the information in your excellent article I find it difficult to understand how she has managed to amass a fortune of £20Million far less £37Million.

    For starters she was in partnership with her ex-husband so preumably they split equally whatever salaries and dividends extracted form Ultimo and further when she split with her husband presumably she had to part with a considerable sum to buy out his share.

    In the meantime she would have had to pay tax on her earnings and pay for her luxury lifestyle.

    When she parted with 80% of Ultimo it was not a deal of the century exercise but more of a distress sale to stop the business going down the tubes. It is therefore unlikely that the purchaser parted with anything like a multi-million sum that would leave her with her alleged current fortune.

    LIke everything we have ever read about her all the free publicity which her media fans have subjected to over the years has been a non-stop smoke and mirrors exercise by this loathesome self-publicist.

    I reckon Cameron and Duncan-Smith will end up regretting letting her jump on their bandwagon

  46. David Mooney says:

    Joemcg says:

    11 August, 2015 at 12:08 pm

    “Wow! Has IDS not read her resume? Calling her a charlatan nutter is too kind”.

    Very true but then IDS’s career doesn’t stand up to much scrutiny either.

    He’s certainly doesn’t have the necessary skills, knowledge, experience or credentials to carry out the radical changes to the welfare system he’s been doing for the last decade or so.

  47. Lesley-Anne says:

    I’m just thinking that we need a wee reprise of this! 😉

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9I2I_euwiEs

  48. Blair paterson says:

    Why would anyone join the S.np and not want independence ?as to the referendum I think it was rigged but I can’t prove it can anyone prove that it wasn’t ? And I think the Scottish gov., should do away with quotas on hospitals and schools etc and just say we will do our best on the money we get from Westminster

  49. schrodingers cat says:

    struggling to put into words how little i care for her shallow opinion, shallow life style and even shallower aquaintences

  50. Ian Brotherhood says:

    Powerful and detailed blog from Richie Venton, on the Tory Trade Union Bill:

    http://richieventon.blogspot.co.uk/

  51. gus1940 says:

    The only people in Scotland who seem to like or admire her are the bunch of unionist cretins who excrete their daily dose of bile in the Comments of the on-line Scotsman

  52. X_Sticks says:

    Strikes me that Michelle Mone and Donald Trump were just made for each other.

  53. Colin says:

    So failed Bra tycoon has the full *support*!! of Ian Duncan Smith…..enough said !!!

  54. Bill Gillespie says:

    Great stuff Rev – well documented expose – but there is so much more, as I am led to believe, if you could only speak to the right people!!!!

  55. ahundredthidiot says:

    …..thought of something to say about her……

    …….nope, lost it

  56. Jim says:

    Joemcg says:
    11 August, 2015 at 12:51 pm

    Jim-remember those “facts” are provided by the state broadcaster!
    ___________
    I know but I still need some clarity on the issue.

    Opening the pandora’s box of Mone’s finances is fine and well but reading between the lines of this article suggests something which requires some hard facts which doesn’t seem to be forthcoming from any source, state or otherwise.

  57. Lesley-Anne says:

    X_Sticks says:

    Strikes me that Michelle Mone and Donald Trump were just made for each other.

    WHIT?

    Don’t tell me she’s up for s threesome with Trump AND I.D.S.! 😀

  58. Joemcg says:

    Very doubtful it was a multi million pound deal also her personal wealth is probably inflated hugely to make her look good. Publicity junkie. Go figure.

  59. Joemcg says:

    Finbar Saunders above ^ Arf Arf!

  60. Richardinho says:

    Looks like we’ve got the better side of the deal regarding MM: We get rid of an alleged criminal with sketchy business dealings and the Tories get her as a new colleague in Westminster. As long as we avoid most of the unionist media we seldom have to think about her at all!

  61. ronald alexander mcdonald says:

    It will further enhance the House of Lord’s reputation as a symbol of a modern democracy it touch with the concerns of ordinary people.

  62. Les Wilson says:

    Storm in a D cup!
    The House of Lords issue is brain numbing.

  63. Dr Jim says:

    Could they not get Katie Price then

    At least she’d have been a good laugh (in the funny ha ha way)

    Isis want to blow up the Queen to cause as much damage as they can to Britain apparently
    Seems strange, if they wanted to do damage the could walk into Faslane with a bus pass or sail up the Clyde in a Russian Submarine
    Nobody’s likely to stop them

  64. frankieboy says:

    Only goes to prove that the UK is not a democracy but a mediocracy.

  65. Tinto Chiel says:

    “Don’t tell me she’s up for a threesome with Trump AND I.D.S.! :D”

    Thanks, Lesley-Anne, I’m trying to digest my lunch.

    Verily, it gars me grue.

  66. Joemcg says:

    Dr Jim-Price would have been more credible than this character.

  67. Proud Cybernat says:

    “Readers might find themselves wondering whether someone exercising and not eating enough might not lose weight anyway without the need for expensive pills, and an independent analysis by the Diet Pills Watchdog website in October 2014 rejected the product’s claims…”

    It’s not the pills, per se, that work, Stu. It’s the fact that she’s taking people’s money (for the pills) so that they have less money to spend on eating and drinking. Works a treat.

  68. CameronB Brodie says:

    Jim
    Perhaps it just show the true value of having a health pair of lungs? She does appear to have a lot to say for herself. 🙂

    Re. Trimsecrets and the non-disclosure of ingredients. The clue is perhaps in the name?

    Hat, coat. Cheers. 😉

  69. HandandShrimp says:

    Michelle left

    taking her No vote with her

    For this I give thanks

  70. Lesley-Anne says:

    Ian Brotherhood says:

    @Lesley-Anne –

    Presumably, she won’t be charging wee Jimmy and Jeanie in The Drum 10k a pop to listen to her pearls of wisdom – that must be what she means when she says she’s ‘giving back’.

    I’m guessing wee Jimmie and Jeanie frae the Drum will be glad to hear that news Ian. They only have to worry now about being forced to choose whether they want to be sanctioned or go along to one of Moaning Minnie’s *ahem* seminars! 😀

  71. shiregirl says:

    hmmm….it all sounds a bit, well…dodgy.

    Charging 10k to budding entrepreneurs and calling it “giving back” ??! is this meant to be Ms Mone’s idea of charity?

    Diet pills that need 1500 cal or less to work. Hey, like the Rev said, it is common sense that if you eat 1500 cal and move a bit, you will lose weight. You don’t need magic beans.

    What is with her ‘flipping’ history…protestant to catholic, labour to Tory, Scotland to England. It is always to the polar opposite – no half measures. This, I think says something about her personality. If someone challenges her or criticises (as we seen during the live debates during the Ref), she plays the victim card.

    I can’t put ma finger on it. I get bad juju from her. Engerland and the tories are most welcome to her – she will fit right in to the House of Lords.

  72. Lesley-Anne says:

    Tinto Chiel says:

    “Don’t tell me she’s up for a threesome with Trump AND I.D.S.! :D”

    Thanks, Lesley-Anne, I’m trying to digest my lunch.

    Verily, it gars me grue.

    OOPS! 😉

    Sorreeee Tinto. 😀 😀 😀

    Hope you did eventually finish your lunch without too much further ado. 😛

  73. Luigi says:

    Sandra says:

    11 August, 2015 at 12:38 pm

    But what is it with IDS and air headed blondes? We no sooner get shot of Esther McVile when up pops another to take the meeja heat off him.

    The ideal distraction. Turns the men’s heads and also makes IDS look intelligent. 🙂

  74. Lesley-Anne says:

    HandandShrimp says:

    Michelle left

    taking her No vote with her

    For this I give thanks

    Don’t we all HaS. 😉

    There is only one wee itsy bitsy teeny weeny little problem here though. She has been promising to leave Scotland ever since the S.N.P. got into power in 2007 I’ve gone deaf! 😀

    WHAT?

    DID SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING?

    HALF PAST THREE!

    YOU’LL NEED TO SPEAK UP!

    DEAF … I SAID SHE HAS MADE ME DEAF! 😀

  75. Democracy Reborn says:

    Perhaps we shouldn’t be too hard though on Michelle.

    She’s giving out some sound advice for those seeking a second independence referendum. From her Twitter feed, 5/8/15 :-

    “Remember this….. If you get No as an answer, remember N.O. means ‘Next Opportunity’.”

  76. Morag says:

    You know, 1500 calories a day isn’t even onerous. And anyone sticking to that and doing regular exercise is going to lose weight healthily at a rate of 1lb a week or thereabouts. If would take you over six months to lose 2 stones, but by then you might well have learned healthy eating habits and a healthy exercise habit.

    So far so good. But nobody is going to be able to charge £32 a month for that advice. I just gave it to you for free anyway. I wonder if the £32 a month incentivises people to stick to the diet and exercise regimes, for fear of their money being wasted? Clever bit of psychology if that’s the case. But the pills are still placebo.

    I’ve occasionally speculated about whether there was money to be made marketing a fake seasickness cure. You can’t be motion sick if you keep your eyes closed. What I was trying for was some expensive piece of flummery that could be marketed along with a plausible-sounding exhortation to keep your eyes closed at all times. It would work.

    So would the advice “as soon as you begin to feel even marginally affected by motion sickness, shut your eyes and keep them shut until seas conditions improve.”

    (I’m currently losing weight nicely on a diet of just under 6000 calories a week, that’s an average of 850 a day. I didn’t pay anyone a penny to figure out how to do that. No pills, no fancy cookery lessons, just calorie counting. The “diet industry” is a peculiar marvel to me.)

  77. Rev. Stuart Campbell says:

    “Ehhh…fat men too..not just women.”

    In fairness, there’s ONE token bloke on their website.

  78. heedtracker says:

    Rancid Guardian headline-

    Michelle Mone: Ultimo lingerie founder made Cameron’s entrepreneurship tsar

    Torygraph-

    Ultimo lingerie boss Michelle Mone will lead a Government review into why people from disadvantaged backgrounds are no longer setting up small businesses.

    Is The Graun more excited than the Torygraph? Lead or become a Tsar?

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again, monster Scottish democracy, flog quackery to the lazy and the pale, get peerage, make state law:-(

    Google Mone and she’s everywhere and she’s the Ambassador to Bentley with a free Bentley Continental GT V8 glacier white with beluga hide, and fake tanning yourself looks like lots of fun!

    http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/lifestyle-fashion/stylebeauty/fake+tan-240682.html

    I don’t know if Michelle’s Bentley Continental GT V8 glacier white with beluga hide is a freebie, but it should be for all the work she does as Ambassador to Bentley’s. She’s really set the bar high for Sir Danny.

  79. Molly says:

    I only heard a snippet of Call Kaye, so maybe wrong about the tone of the programme but over the last two/ three years I came across two school laddies who set up a radio station, numerous web sites where you can buy merchandise, a fantastic magazine called IScot , tickets for plays , concerts, book sites and a whole new media.

    All crowd funded.

    Dose it take a self promoting lifestyle guru to turn us into entrepreneurs or just a good incentive?

    Of course if they wanted to give a better picture of what’s going in Scotland in start ups and business opportunities all the BBC and Michelle had to do was ask

  80. Tam Jardine says:

    Great article Stu.

    One phrase that stood out:’Fat women’ seemed an ill-judged phrase to use, particularly as the diet industry’s definition of ‘fat’ is surely very different from a medical definition and they prey on body dysmorphism.

    I’m sure women of all shapes and sizes get hooked into taking diet pills, even women who are underweight.

  81. handclapping says:

    THEN : honoured Scots
    Lord Kelvin
    Sir Robert Watson-Watt

    NOW : “honoured” Scots
    Michelle Mone
    Danny Alexander

    Time to get out of this place.

  82. nodrog says:

    Do not fall for it – it is the old Imperialist trick well practiced by a very experienced British establishment who have utilised it for centuries. It is called – DIVIDE and RULE. No matter what else she is she is a Scot and the Tories will use her and any other sharp stick they can find, e.g. “Sir” Dannyboy ( maybe not such a sharp stick) to poke the Scot Nats. They recognise Labour’s weakness and want England for themselves and they can have it if they stir us up enough to vote Yes or keep us and our rsources if they – Divide and Rule us.
    Just today it was reported that a Lib Dem member was complaining that the UK could become a one party state. I think they were using the same argument about a potential Independent Scotland.

  83. louis.b.argyll says:

    £10000 for a motivational presentation.??

    Isn’t there supposed to be a tendering process, supposed to guarantee that Government gets value for money.?

    This PROVES that the UK cabinet are more interested in pulling the wool than carrying out their responsibilities…

  84. Sinky says:

    In government the SNP has protected the Small Business Bonus Scheme – benefiting more than 90,000 small businesses – and has recently announced that the modern apprenticeship programme will be extended to provide work for 30,000 young people per year by 2020.

  85. Vronsky says:

    Oh, for gawd’s sake – she isn’t worth this much attention. Don’t let Wings go all tabloid, Rev.

  86. Lesley-Anne says:

    As we are all extremely respectful on this site I fully expect we will all be upstanding for this song. 😉 😀

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7QFXFTQZhw&feature=youtu.be

  87. Big Jock says:

    Anyone suspect Cameron is now on full wind up mode? Seems to be picking the most hated ex Scots for cabinet positions and knighthoods.

    It was predicted that he would resign before the year was out, and enter stage left the sinister Gideon. Like the English public school child catcher…jees he gives me the creeps!

  88. CameronB Brodie says:

    Lesley-Anne
    I imagine these are the rare breed of entrepreneur that have bags of start-up cash. Daddy is a stockbroker or mama’s papa is an Earl or some shite. I doubt she’ll be touring to places like Muirhouse or Niddrie.

    I had no start-up cash, no income and no experience but I had a network of freelance artists and pre-press monkeys and was able to generate the investment needed for plant and equipment. Ten year later, an administrative error at HMRC closes down one of the most powerfull digital print facilities in Scotland and I’m about a 1/3 of a million out of pocket.

    Rather mift. ;(

  89. Gordon Benton says:

    Truly uplifting (a euphemism) .

  90. Lesley-Anne says:

    Amazing what you can do when you are motivated Cameron.

    I’m really sorry to hear about your problems, not of your making but the H.M.R.C. Utterly ridiculous THEY can screw up and OTHERS suffer without any recourse or are you able to claim any sort of damages or the like from the foul up merchants at the H.M.R.C.?

  91. robertknight says:

    After reading the Rev’s summary, I can’t help but conclude that MM is superbly qualified for a seat in the Lords.

  92. Lesley-Anne says:

    I guess I wasnae too well the day this came out. 😉 😀

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FotN8oFbXJs

  93. CameronB Brodie says:

    Lesley-Anne
    Oops, I hadn’t meant to say that out loud. I think I’ve just outed myself as having ulterior motives for wanting Scottish independence. 🙂

  94. Schrödinger's cat says:

    @tam jardin
    I’m proud to be stout 🙂

  95. peekay says:

    Makes you wonder where all the money went. Undoubtedly during the 90’s it must’ve been a profitable venture. Now, I’m not a girlie, but as a somewhat long-term observer of the feminine species I would bet most girlies have at least one ‘underwear set’ by Ultimo.

    Where did all that money go?

  96. Cag-does-thinking says:

    I imagine it won’t go unnoticed by the public here in Scotland that the Better Together front row are all getting honours after running outta town here. That first day with Lord Alexander of Lego and Lady Moan or Riverside is gonna be a cracker even for the Lords….

  97. G H Graham says:

    I have a long manufacturing background of fixing businesses that went tits up but never worked in retail & only spent a few moments scanning Mone’s summary accounts so all of my numbers are guesstimates. And even if the numbers are wrong, this illustration shows how a couple of people can legally become rather well off while apparently making little or no net profit from a business.

    I have no doubt her lingerie business did, for some period of time, make a handsome gross profit (gross revenues minus COGS i.e. the cost of direct materials & labour).

    If during an accounting period, she sold say 1/2 million units at around £50 each then the gross revenue would be £25 million. When the disproportionally small, sweat shop cost of goods sold are deducted (I’m assuming a generous £7.50 per unit), one might arrive at a gross profit of say £21.25 million.

    That’s £21.25 million in cash flooding in to the business. However, there are other unavoidable costs still to be paid for; office rent, small payroll in East Kilbride, energy, telephones, internet, legal & accounting fees etc. & of course sales & marketing, probably the largest unavoidable expense in a crowded lingerie market.

    It was a growing business at one point, so we’ll assume poor control of SG&A (sales, general & admin) at around 20% of gross revenues or around £5 million.

    That leaves £16.25 million to cover depreciation & debt repayment costs (principal & interest) just before the salivating shareholders & the inland revenue get their cut.

    I have no idea of any debt owed but I’m assuming someone helped fund the start up & wants their money back with some decent interest. Let’s assume £0.5 million for that leaving £15.75 million.

    But since it was Mone’s own clan who were the directors & primary shareholders, there was no one else to object to them paying themselves multi-million pound salaries & bonuses for their hard work & some good fortune.

    But by the time large amounts of cash & dividends are withdrawn to pay for luxury cars, five bedroom villas, flashy holidays, new teeth & a seasonal wardrobe, there isn’t much net profit left to report, never mind leaving a decent cut for George Osborne.

    Mone & her husband could easily have split the £15 million between them & left a lousy net profit of just £0.75 million against which, the Inland Revenue would levy it’s own taxes.

    Of course, the two principal directors would be eligible to pay personal income taxes too but as we all know, many privately owned companies actually end up footing much of the lifestyle choices directly, reducing the tax liability of the directors.

    I’m not suggesting for one moment any illegality or fraud. I’m simply demonstrating how it is legally possible to enrich one’s self in a relatively short space of time while simultaneously demonstrating an apparently poor business accounting record.

  98. nodrog says:

    Have you noticed the brush in the cartoon is not wearing a bra??

  99. Training Day says:

    Heh. Excellent article Rev.

  100. ali says:

    O/T but === any truth in the rumour that the rally on the 19th September at George Square has been scuppered by Glasgow council. just overheard someone mentioning it down the shops.

  101. call me dave says:

    There’s an old joke that ends “A titter went round the room”

    Ach! Lets not pay too much heed to an over the shoulder boulder holder manufacturer…ignore the obvious unionist taunt, they are just using her like a pawn too, our day will come. 🙂

    They can all be dismissed by the X of a pen.

    PS:
    Here today and gone tomorrow! PPPSSffftt!

    https://archive.is/FqKpA

  102. heedtracker says:

    Anyone suspect Cameron is now on full wind up mode? Seems to be picking the most hated ex Scots for cabinet positions and knighthoods.

    It’s just good politics. Tory vote in Sdotland is solid so it won’t bother them and above all else, its rewarding loyal Brits.

    The plebs are revolting in their Scotland region and they know who’s defending their reign over us in Scotland. So imagine the day dreams of everyone from Sir Fluffie Mundell to Lord David Torrance via Lady Jakey Bird and Sir Duncan Hothersausage OBE. As Lady Mone shows them all, the harder you rage at the vile sepratists of their Scotland region, the more chance you have of one day sitting next to likes of Sir Danny Alexander and Lord Jeffery Archer with his spotty back. Sir Danny and Lady Mone are just the beginning.

  103. Molly says:

    Just as a matter of interest.
    The Crowdsurfer data shows that so far in 2015, Crowdcube has secured British business more funding than all the other players combined with a 52 % market share.

    100m from 195,000 investors .

    So what’s your plan Michelle , couldn’t be the banks, loan companies etc are being by – passed is it ?

  104. john king says:

    David says
    “New ‘franchise’ opening soon,
    Wings over Weightwatchers. :)”

    BINGO Wings over Weightwatchers
    fixed that for you. 🙂

  105. Brian Doonthetoon says:

    Hi ali.

    Re “Hope Over Fear”:-

    https://archive.is/mH1Br

  106. Petra says:

    We must be the laughing stock of the World with a massive group of UNELECTED people (800+), who outnumber elected politicians, calling all the shots. Pete Wishart mentioned in the Commons recently that he has 4/5 individuals owning large estates in his constituency who have more power at Westminster than he does as an elected politician. It just beggars belief.

    Cameron is adding more Tory supporters to the House of the Rising Sun rabble to ensure that he gets his policies passed because he’s skating on thin ice with a ’12 person’ majority in the Commons.

    He’s throwing a few crumbs to the Libdems by including Danny Alexander and Vince Cable and no doubt we’ll be hearing about some other failures being given a gong in the near future such as Sir Wee Dougie and maybe even Sir Ginger Crates.

    The whole system stinks from beginning to end in this country with failed politicians, perverts, party donors, corrupt financiers / business people, to name but a few categories, being awarded for being toadies, war-mongers and greed merchants. Add to that the category of publicly showing opposition to the SNP in this case by M Mone being constantly aided and abetted by the Labour backed Daily Record publishing her every whim. You couldn’t make it up.

    Now we have the same, hypocrite, narcissist and self-confessed criminal, person who is known to have lied about her qualifications (has none) join their club. How much tax-payers money will she have allocated to her by IDS to initiate their hairbrained scheme and will we ever hear if it has been successful or not? She doesn’t seem to have any relevant qualifications such as a business or accountancy degree. Then again neither does the CoE. This is nothing more than game playing, smoke and mirrors. Another nonexistential job for the boys (or girls).

    She’s spoken about being brought up in a poor family in a poor part of town and says that she was a life-long supporter of the Labour Party and Rangers Football Team. Seems to me that she changes allegiance at the drop of a hat or more likely has a keen sense of what side her bread is buttered on. She fell pregnant at 18 and married into a fairly wealthy family … converted to Roman Catholicism … dumped Rangers for Celtic. Probably realised that the Labour Party were going down the stank and jumped ship for the Tories and the dream of being a dame or lust to be a lady.

    If she ever had any left wing tendencies at all …. was politically minded at all … she would be opting …. working …. to do away with zero hour contracts but no she’d rather have a title, £1,500 tax free a week for doing nought, housing benefit, thousands for spouting guff, membership of the closet stocks and shares supermarket, job centre for the elite (no interview or qualifications necessary), free dinners, free holidays and later in life continued access to the most lavish old age home in the country.

    I can’t wait for the day when my wonderful country gets out of its semi-detached arrangement with a country housing such an archaic, degenerate establishment. Better still, before or after we go, for the ordinary English people to say enough is enough and give them all their marching orders.

  107. Kenny says:

    Until I came to Wings, I must confess I had never heard of Michelle Mone! It sounds like a character out of Wacky Races meets Dateline Scotland.

    Was there not some other woman entrepreneur hired by the Tories to do the same a couple of years ago? Another one who was all fur coat and no…. well, you get the idea…? With orange hair??

  108. nodrog says:

    “ali” there is a good article in “the National” about Glasgow Council’s refusal of the gathering on the 19th September.

  109. Early Ball says:

    Tom Hunter invested in her company once when it was struggling.

    http://www.theretailbulletin.com/news/tom_hunter_offers_support_to_ultimo_05-08-02/

  110. john king says:

    Luigi says
    “The ideal distraction. Turns the men’s heads and also makes IDS look intelligent. :)”

    She would make iBs look intelligent. 🙂

  111. desimond says:

    We can expect the truth no doubt…

    She invented a handful of qualifications – “I’m always saying on The Apprentice that you shouldn’t lie, but I did. I just had to get my foot in the door

  112. Luigi says:

    ali says:

    11 August, 2015 at 3:59 pm

    O/T but === any truth in the rumour that the rally on the 19th September at George Square has been scuppered by Glasgow council. just overheard someone mentioning it down the shops.

    You better believe it. They certainly are. 🙁

    Mind you, if there is one sure-fire way to beef-up a grassroots movement, it is to start banning public meetings. Trying to put out a fire by pouring petrol on it is not a good idea. We have to be thankful that the GCC monkeys are too thick to realise this. 🙂

  113. Lesley-Anne says:

    Anyone planning on going to the Hope over Fear rally in Freedom Square in Glasgow on September 19th may want to give a wee thought to this. I found it on a post over on Facebook.

    Article 11 of the European Convention on Human Rights and thus the Human Rights Act guarantees the Right to Freedom of Assembly. Article 11 protects the right to peaceful assembly which includes the freedom to hold public or private meetings, demonstrations, rallies and sit-ins without interference from the state.

  114. macnakamura says:

    Let’s not talk about her.
    Let’s ignore her.

    She hates it when that happens.

    And then it drives her on to even more demonstrably assinine conduct.

  115. Macart says:

    @Big Jock

    “Anyone suspect Cameron is now on full wind up mode?”

    Oh huh, hell aye! 😀

    Wind up the Scots, who will then wind up/pressurise their representatives. Force the SG and the 56 into rash moves whilst trying to appease our outrage.

    Not a chance Jock. We’re onto that game, but if they’re willing to make an arse of themselves putting dead stoat round the necks of Mr Alexander and Ms Mone? Peachy by me. Says a lot more about them at the end of the day.

    Ah’ll mibbies come over all outraged tomorrow. 😀

  116. Luigi says:

    nodrog says:

    11 August, 2015 at 3:55 pm

    Have you noticed the brush in the cartoon is not wearing a bra??

    I’m sorely tempted to respond to that, but out of respect for the ladies and gentlemen who read this thread, I’ll refrain!

  117. john king says:

    louis b argyll says
    “This PROVES that the UK cabinet are more interested in pulling the wool than carrying out their responsibilities”

    This PROVES that the UK cabinet are more interested in pulling the chicks than carrying out their responsibilities…

    fixed that for you. 🙂

  118. Big Jock says:

    I pass Rutherglen Town Hall on my way to work on the M74. The Union flag has flown like an eyesore since just before the referendum.

    Not even a nod to it being a Royal Scottish burgh with a Saltire. It’s emblematic of a unionist council going through death throw defiance. It will be gone next May and they know it.

    A bit like the Moans bra sales it’s sagging and ????

  119. ClanDonald says:

    I really wish they wouldn’t call George Square Freedom Square, it has very right-wing American connotations attached to it. “Freedom Fries!!”. Once we’re independent I hope it will be re-named but personally I’d prefer Independence Square.

  120. john king says:

    Heedtracker says
    “Anyone suspect Cameron is now on full wind up mode? Seems to be picking the most hated ex Scots for cabinet positions and knighthoods.”

    Terry Kelly will be sitting in the hall in front of his letter box whispering to himself
    any minute now, any minute now, any minute now… snigger. 😉

  121. orri says:

    Without a method of culling the numbers the HoL is simply a farcical way of securing a pension for sycophants. That Cameron plans to stuff it with a further 50 of his cronies in order to swing it’s opinion in the governments favour is exactly what was threatened before, if I recall, the passing of the Parliament Act.

  122. Schrödinger's cat says:

    If profit is a criteria for a knighthood, the rev has turned more of a profit in the last 2 years than mone…..
    Arise sir stu. Lol

  123. Off-Topic, just noticed this… same old same old, £2.5M of taxpayer’s money set aside to pervert democracy.

    http://snp.org/media-centre/news/2015/aug/robertson-demands-answers-anti-snp-propaganda?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

    On-topic… nah, I can’t do it, the very thought of that Mone organism gives me the boak…

    … :-O oooh! Mibbe that’s how the diet pills work, there’s a photo of Michelle’s torn coupon on the box, which acts as an emetic and appetite suppressant???!!!

  124. Stuart Cosgrove says:

    You are very generous when you describe the company that bought into MJM as “a Sri Lankan investment company”. The majority shares were bought by MAS Holdings who are a Sri Lankan underwear manufacturer who supply women’s clothing to Marks and Spencer. I understand they also provide manufacturing services to Ultimo. I am no expert on ‘undies arbitrage’ but it sounds like a debt for equity deal rather than an investment.

  125. shug says:

    Its a bit sad that Alexander did so much work for better together and only got a knighthood and she gets a peerage
    Supposed it shows she can drive a better deal than him

  126. Big Jock says:

    Correct – Stu why are you not a shadow cabinet secretary by now? LOL

  127. Lesley-Anne says:

    shug says:

    Its a bit sad that Alexander did so much work for better together and only got a knighthood and she gets a peerage
    Supposed it shows she can drive a better deal than him

    Think I read the other day Shug that Beaker was offered a peerage but turned it down but he has, allegedly, accepted a knighthood.

  128. Big Jock says:

    The diet pills basically give you the Leon Trotsky’s. They stop your digestive system absorbing the proteins and nutrients. In other words you eat but don’t take on any calories. My wife is a pharmacist and they sell loads of these pills. Doctors have warned that they cause severe vitamin deficiancy and bowel problems.Wonder if the Moan has told people that they are destroying their digestive system for lazy vanity!

    Another side effect is you talk shite in public.

  129. Vestas says:

    I hear she’s the “Entrepreneurship Czar”.

    I can’t help recollecting that (in Yes Minister) the word czar/supremo is civil service vernacular for “muggins”.

    I remember wondering how true to life Yes Minister/Prime Minister was in the 1980s. Never in my most deranged nightmares did I imagine that the reality was much worse than the satire 🙂

  130. louis.b.argyll says:

    Thanks john king..
    A sorry state of affairs whichever way it’s looked at..
    A totally wooden cabinet.

  131. Dr Jim says:

    @Lesley Anne

    If the Council’s saying NO then it’s a YES from me

  132. Michael Cameron says:

    It is interesting that Mone is going to give advice on how to go about starting up a business.
    I wonder if it will include “lie on your CV in order to get a job then get made redundant” as a potential source of funding?

  133. louis.b.argyll says:

    If she’s the Czar, then IDS is the mad monk…

  134. Lesley-Anne says:

    Just a wee T-shirt thingy to p*** off any NO voters still alive. 😀

    https://fabrily.com/ScotlandBrave

  135. Democracy Reborn says:

    Is Michelle’s maw still sittin oot oan the decking?

  136. Quoth ClanDonald: “I really wish they wouldn’t call George Square Freedom Square, it has very right-wing American connotations attached to it.”

    I disagree. Let’s reclaim the F-word. The concept of freedom doesn’t belong to the right wing. Let’s call a spade a spade, we want freedom – freedom from fear, freedom from want, freedom from external political control, and freedom from being asked to cringe when requesting those freedoms. There’s a time and a place for diplomacy, and minimising your aims, and letting your opponents set the terms of discourse. That time has passed, and Glesga was never the place.

    Freedom Square it is.

  137. Colin Church says:

    Scunterbunnet says:

    “Off-Topic, just noticed this… same old same old, £2.5M of taxpayer’s money set aside to pervert democracy.”

    Yes, and in Angus Robertson’s link to Cabinet Office info also states £46.5 Million for GREAT Britain project.

    “The GREAT Britain (GREAT) campaign, launched in 2012, is the Government’s flagship marketing and branding vehicle for the UK internationally and, increasingly, domestically.”

    Increasingly domestically – read Trolling the Scots.

  138. heedtracker says:

    Terry Kelly will be sitting in the hall in front of his letter box whispering to himself
    any minute now, any minute now, any minute now… snigger.

    I was offered a knighthood too but I had to refuse. I said no, I’m sorry but there are far more deserving, worthy and honorable than me and they said well who and I said howsabout that nice Alistair Carmichael, he’s got the moral’s of a Lord… and the bare faced cheek of a Lady… with sheer brass neck of a Sir… and the howthefeckdidhegetawaywiththat Baron…

    And they said, we’re way ahead of you, arise Sir Alistair Carmichael, for services to the Scottish legal profession, extraordinary abilities to lie on Channel 4 news and all on behalf teamGB.

  139. Ian Brotherhood says:

    Starting up businesses in disadvantaged areas?

    The Tories are already stripping the poorest and most vulnerable citizens in these places of the most basic social security – is that the model?

    If so, it’s one which rewards thuggery and sadism.

    Dear Miss Mone,

    I’ve got an idea for a business – if you give me a tenner I’ll make sure your car doesn’t get scratched while you’re in the community centre giving my neighbours a motivational speech.

    Cheers,

    A Fan

  140. Dr Jim says:

    Re 19th September

    Glasgow Rangers v Dumbarton

    So only down the road a little

    Perhaps that’s what the unease is over, although if it’s on I’m in purely because they say NO and I hope it’s HUGE

  141. Colin Church says:

    “Dear Miss Mone,

    I’ve got an idea for a business – if you give me a tenner I’ll make sure your car doesn’t get scratched while you’re in the community centre giving my neighbours a motivational speech.

    Cheers,

    A Fan”

    Well Ian Brotherhood, if you do that with a “steel cover face” you can kiss your human rights goodbye. Mone’s edict.

  142. Grouse Beater says:

    Further promotion of Ms Mone to Csar attracts over 3,000 hits – adored by House of Complicity and House of Lard:

    https://grousebeater.wordpress.com/2015/08/01/of-tarts-and-old-farts/

  143. Robert Louis says:

    Here we have yet another ‘Scot’ only too happy to jump to London’s whims, leaving her own country behind, for baubles and titles. Yet, as the article points out, even a cursory check on her business experience, demonstrates a considerable lack of achievement that can truly be attributed to her.

    The world of self motivation courses, self help ‘advice’ and ‘business guru’ training, is littered with such no-hopers who are Skilled at claiming others achievements as their own.

    It is spin over substance. To anybody with the slightest modicum of real business experience, the very notion of her being a ‘business czar’, is just laughable.

    We can only assume that Ian Duncan Smith, despite being a Tory barsteward of epic proportions (for whom a special place in hell will be reserved) must actually have a sense of humour.

  144. David Smith says:

    It’s worth considering that by attempting to ban the rally on the 19th, the British might be hoping that a show of defiance on the day by the pro-democracy movement can be provoked into a violent response which would then be channelled over the UK and world by the BBC/Murdoch Empire.
    Not saying we shouldn’t defy it but be very mindful of provocateurs and aggressive policing.

    In any case, I find ‘Freedom Square’ a bit naff.
    ‘John McLean Square’ has a bit more gravitas. 🙂

  145. Lesley-Anne says:

    Dr Jim says:

    Re 19th September

    Glasgow Rangers v Dumbarton

    So only down the road a little

    Perhaps that’s what the unease is over, although if it’s on I’m in purely because they say NO and I hope it’s HUGE

    From what I’ve read over on Twitter and Facebook Doc it would appear that it is still on. No one really seems to give two hoots about what Matheson and co. say they are still going to Freedom Square.

  146. maxi kerr says:

    Well there are an abundance of tory tits for her to help hold up now in her new gang.

  147. ali says:

    RE the banning of the 19th September rally

    earlier i saw a post about article 11 of the human rights act quoted, but unfortunately article 11 is a qualified right and can be “infringed” that is quite clear in article 11(2) although the grounds GCC quote could be argued but they could probably be able to argue their case quite well.

    if article 11 was an absolute right we would have the OO marching every weekend.

  148. Lesley-Anne says:

    Anyone concerned about whether the Hope over Fear rally on September 19th is on or off can read this from Tommy Sheridan who posted it up on Facebook. Hope it clears the air and concerns anyone has.

    The nasty Labour unionists on Glasgow City Council have once again denied Hope Over Fear permission to use George Square for a rally on September 19th. It didn’t stop us on April 25th and it won’t stop us on the 19th. Here is a statement from myself as one of the Hope Over Fear founding members. Please feel free to post this statement on social media sites and among friends and the wider YES Community. We shall not be bullied here. The anniversary rally goes ahead as planned.

    Tommy

    “Yet again the politically bankrupt unionists who run Glasgow City Council are trying to prevent the YES Movement from assembling in George Square in support of independence. They tried to prevent Hope Over Fear last October and then in April this year. They failed on both occasions and they will fail again this time. The YES Movement and the Hope Over Fear campaign will not be intimidated or bullied by the unionists in Glasgow City Chambers who believe they can prevent us from standing tall on 19th September and declaring proudly; ‘One Year On – We’re Still YES’ and we refuse to bend the knee to Westminster rule any longer. Freedom will be ours. The Council has deliberately sat on the Hope Over Fear application to use George Square since May 13th but now announce their refusal because apparently a unionist group has also applied to use the Square that day. It is really simple. We applied first. Our permission should be granted. The unionists who want to assemble can be given permission to do so another day. That is both democratic and fair. Remember this is a City Council who refused Hope Over Fear permission to use the Square on April 25th but granted permission for an OrangeFest. So the independence movement is being politically discriminated against and we will not accept it. We will not be bullied. We will not cower before unionist dirty tricks any longer. This is now a more important rally than ever. This is the anniversary of the historic referendum that saw 1.6 million Scots defy the lies and bullying of the British Establishment to vote YES. That saw the City of Glasgow vote YES. We call on the YES Community across Scotland to converge on the Square, Freedom Square, to listen to the live music, the inspiring speeches, wave our flags and show the world we are still YES and we seek a 2nd referendum as soon as practically possible and politically unavoidable. Get there by train, bus, bike or car but lets collectively defy the Labour unionists on Glasgow City Council and demand our right to rally and our right to freedom. Lets fill Freedom Square with Hope not Fear on September 19th from 12 noon”.

  149. Tinto Chiel says:

    Big Jock: I feel your pain every time I pass Ru’glen Town Hall with its Butcher’s Apron. But just imagine it as a kind of Lanarkshire Camp Bastion. That flag will be getting folded away permanently next May.

    I think it’s usually Brian DTT who points this out but Moaning Minnie Mone should surely be IDS’s Czarina ‘coz she’s a lady (!). Can I join the Proud Pedant club now?

    Lesley-Anne, after you giving me that unwholesome mental image of troilism, I had to drink two glasses of my holiday stash of Rapitalà to ease my indigestion.

    I feel better now.

  150. thedogphilosopher says:

    A few things:

    I imagine Mone moves in the same dubious financial circles as a certain Craig Whyte. Becoming ‘millionaires’ by exploiting loopholes in the law so as to ‘access’ oodles of (fictitious) dodgy capital which they then manage to hive off to some overseas personal account. Businesses go bust but the so-called CEOs walk away as millionaires ready to set up their next ‘sting’ operation.

    Also …

    For me, watching The Apprentice has the same fascination as having an insect jar.

  151. Rev. Stuart Campbell says:

    “You are very generous when you describe the company that bought into MJM as “a Sri Lankan investment company”. The majority shares were bought by MAS Holdings who are a Sri Lankan underwear manufacturer who supply women’s clothing to Marks and Spencer. I understand they also provide manufacturing services to Ultimo.”

    Interesting. I’d thought they just bought shares in companies in the field, I didn’t realise they were actually a manufacturing operation in their own right too.

    “I am no expert on ‘undies arbitrage’ but it sounds like a debt for equity deal rather than an investment.”

    I’ve been trying unsuccessfully for a while to work out exactly what transpired between MAS and MJM. I’m very confused about what was actually sold and for how much. MJM was to all intents and purposes bust as far as I can tell:

    http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/entertainment/celebrity/michelle-mones-lingerie-firm-mjm-4326059

    Yet it was “consumed” by Ultimo Brands International, presumably with MAS money. So it seems like Mone set up a new company to buy the assets of the bankrupt MJM from herself (why?), but sold 51% of the shares in it to MAS, and subsequently sold most of the rest of her shares to them too.

    Why didn’t she just sell MJM to MAS? Why did they pay £3m for a basically broke operation? I haven’t a clue. I’m out of my depth with this corporate-finance stuff, I’m really just a Google monkey.

  152. Tinto Chiel says:

    Just a thought: It’s a good job Tommy Sheridan didn’t post his comment directly on Wings. The Rev would have killed him with hammers.

    John MacLean Square: love it, DS.

  153. Meindevon says:

    Sorry, a little bit o/t. Was just taking to son about this woman’s background when he said he had seen some really good buskers (yes buskers!) in town today. Showed me them on YouTube singing a (bit risqué) song which summed up these tax evaders and money grabbers. The funny thing is they are from the West Country and the clip was filmed in Bath! Wonder if He’s seen them?

    I can’t do the copying thing from YouTube for some reason but they are worth a look if you have time. They are called Phat Bollards and the song is “Millionaires”.

  154. Stephen Sinclair says:

    Well done Stuart for taking the time and effort to do all that research (and typing). Yet another bookmarked page from your site. Keep up the good work my friend.

  155. “MJM was to all intents and purposes bust as far as I can tell.”

    Did you mean that?

  156. Dal Riata says:

    Re GCC and their lame excuses to refuse the Hope Over Fear rally in George Square on 19th September – Fuck’em! Let’s go ahead with it anyway!

    Sick of these corrupt, OO-backing Britnat bastards in Glasgow’s City Council abusing their position to the detriment of the people they are supposed to serve.

    What could happen if the rally goes ahead? Presumably, the police could make arrests for an ‘illegal’ gathering taking place after being rejected by GCC?; the rally leaders?; maybe the attendees also if they refused to move on?

    Put it out there all over scocial media that the rally will take place as planned on 19.08. Guaranteed there will be a far bigger turnout than would have been expected without GCC’s interference. Make it known that the rally is going to take place despite the corrupt GCC. Then let the fun begin…!

    Glasgow is a Yes city. Let’s do it!

  157. @David Smith

    “In any case, I find ‘Freedom Square’ a bit naff.
    ‘John McLean Square’ has a bit more gravitas.”

    Now, there’s a rebranding exercise I can support. 🙂 … petition anyone?

    If we give McLean the big pillar in the middle, and keep Burns and James Watt, that leaves nine plinths with brazen unionist totems we can recycle. Howzaboot Wallace and Bruce for the horsey end, then Thomas Muir, John Baird, Andrew Hardie, Mary Barbour, James Connolly, Jimmy Reid and Willie McRae? … or did I just take that too far 😉

  158. Lesley-Anne says:

    Tinto Chiel says:

    Lesley-Anne, after you giving me that unwholesome mental image of troilism, I had to drink two glasses of my holiday stash of Rapitalà to ease my indigestion.

    I feel better now.

    Sorry Tinto. I’ll try and behave better in future. 😀

  159. galamcennalath says:

    “John MacLean Square”

    … or even after that great left wing nationalist, Keir Hardy Square 🙂

  160. Grouse Beater says:

    Wings: I’d thought they [MAS] just bought shares in companies in the field, I didn’t realise they were actually a manufacturing operation in their own right too.

    MAS also make Speedo – s’all in my essay. The reason HSBC put one in touch with the other – loans to MJM get protected.

  161. ronnie anderson says:

    Ultimo Bra lift & seperate, but no fur long, they have a Bungee Rope attachment. Mone,s Back n back n back, fur fck saky somebody cut the ties that bind.

  162. alexicon says:

    Regarding the refusal of GCC not to allow a hope over fear rally.
    If the case is that it is refused because there maybe trouble as the unionists put in a counter rally for that time, then the same could be said for the refusal of OO marches and the like when they organise their rallies, hope over fear could put in a counter rally request.
    Seems simple enough to me, no more OO marches.

  163. Mealer says:

    alexicon 6.57
    Sounds like a plan.

  164. Donnie McIlwraith says:

    Michelle is the personification of a Scottish tory or any other unionist.

    Scotland’s people come second, the true master is the London based English / british establishment.

    The highlight of Michelle’s existence will be serving the self serving IDS, the man who pretended to get to know the poor, then shat on them from the highest of hieghts.

    as often said on here, you could not make this stuff up!

  165. The Man in the Jar says:

    John MacLean Square was talked about some time ago but “Freedom Square” seems to have taken preference.

    John MacLean gave speeches in Georges Square so a natural for the title in my book.

  166. R-type Grunt says:

    As far as I can tell the rally will definitely be going ahead. I’ll certainly be there & so will the vast majority of the movers & shakers on Facebook. I’ll be damned if GCC will intimidate me.

    It’s my square, in my city & in my country. #GCCcanGTF

  167. Iain More says:

    Is Kate Hopkins Mone in drag?

  168. Luigi says:

    alexicon says:
    11 August, 2015 at 6:57 pm

    Regarding the refusal of GCC not to allow a hope over fear rally.
    If the case is that it is refused because there maybe trouble as the unionists put in a counter rally for that time, then the same could be said for the refusal of OO marches and the like when they organise their rallies, hope over fear could put in a counter rally request.
    Seems simple enough to me, no more OO marches.

    Genius, but sounds too good to be true. If it is possible, let’s give GCC yet another lesson in the Law of Unintended Consequences. One day it might just sink in!

  169. ewen says:

    Dal Riata,You could end up with a free trip to Australia.

    My old man was arrested for being on an illegal March in Edinburgh in the early eighties. He wasn’t charged as the only statute they could find to hold him on was inciting protest against the act of union. Penalty – transportation.

  170. galamcennalath says:

    GCC, let’s hope the SNP surge us just as strong poor the council elections in 2017.

    We really need to clean out as many unionist politicians as possible, at every level. Basically, they are all anti Scottish and will always put their union first.

  171. cearc says:

    peekay,

    ‘I would bet most girlies have at least one ‘underwear set’ by Ultimo.’

    Well I don’t and I’m certain that Paula Rose doesn’t. (She very carefully sources her goodies).

  172. Lesley-Anne says:

    Hmm.

    Looks like my birthday could be going off with a BIGGER bang than first intended. 😉

    http://scottishindependence.com/2015/08/glasgow-bomber-report/

  173. Clootie says:

    She is without doubt a Tory. It says a lot about the changes at Labour that she felt so comfortable there for many years.

    She typifies everything wrong with the UK at present.

  174. ronnie anderson says:

    O/T

    Mitch Kilbride
    1 min

    Some of you may have heard about a `political party’ called the Scottish Independence Party’. Well like many things it’s not what it purports to be. That’s putting it mildly. This needs to be known widely as there’s been a lot of `divide & conquer’ material being put about by them. Please read on…
    This is the guy behind this supposed Scottish Independence Party.
    If you think it’s a group keen for action on independence just have a click on the link and check his independence credentials.
    I’ll save you the time. He’s not an independence supporter of any sort. He’s a unionist mouthpiece.
    Via Jen Wilson.
    About and Contact Alistair McConnachie
    I’ve lived in Glasgow since March 1999. During the 1990s I was the Director of the Melville Natural Health Clinic in Edinburgh.
    aforceforgood.org.uk|By Alistair McConnachie

  175. Dal Riata says:

    @Colin Church at 5.25 pm

    “Yes, and in Angus Robertson’s link to Cabinet Office info also states £46.5 Million for GREAT Britain project.

    “The GREAT Britain (GREAT) campaign, launched in 2012, is the Government’s flagship marketing and branding vehicle for the UK internationally and, increasingly, domestically.”

    Increasingly, domestically – read Trolling the Scots.”

    Good find there, CC! It more or less proves that all the “Great British” (whatever) programmes that have become ever more present on the UK’s domestic TV channels since 2012 are politically motivated.

    The SNP repeats its commitment to hold a referendum when it publishes its Scottish parliamentary election manifesto in 2011 and, well… whadyano… the Westminster government launches its GREAT Britain campaign just one year later… spooky, or what!

    Rebellious Scots to crush, God save the Queen. Putting the ‘Great’ into Britain…

  176. call me dave says:

    O/T
    Footie:

    Local derby links on OFF TOPIC for Dundee Game. 5mins.

  177. Bruce Morton says:

    Ow. The Rev hefts the SPAS-12 shotgun. With a laser sight. Boom!

  178. Lesley-Anne says:

    cearc says:

    peekay,

    ‘I would bet most girlies have at least one ‘underwear set’ by Ultimo.’

    Well I don’t and I’m certain that Paula Rose doesn’t. (She very carefully sources her goodies).

    Don’t worry folks I have none of that Ultimo trash in my house either. WE have far better class than to allow that garbage anywhere near our undie drawers! 😉

  179. starlaw says:

    It is vital to take control of these unionist councils, they have to much control over public assets, ie, village and school halls, granting permission to some groups but not others.
    There is no democracy where these councils or their Quangos have control, it is either their way or no way. I feel the riddance of these to be more important than Holyrood although both would be my first choice.

  180. Lenny Hartley says:

    Mone on ch4 news she sounds like a chancer and a muppet. Funny accent for East end of glasgow and her accent is not the only thing about her that is false and I don’t mean her bresticles

  181. Dal Riata says:

    What Tommy Sheridan says (via Lesley-Anne’s post!) at 6.05 pm.

    Cannae wait for that event already! Its taking place will be a great big GIRFUYz to the corrupt GCC, and the rest of the Britnat blaggards UK (as it’s still known as)-wide.

    Will any agent-provocateur behaviour occur? Mibbeez aye, mibbeez naw, we’ll just have to wait and see. Whatever, it’s guaranteed to be a fun day out!

  182. alexicon says:

    Ronnie, you mean this SIP?

    Here is some of their policies.

    http://iamsteve.in/tag/scottish-independence-party/

  183. Luigi says:

    starlaw says:
    11 August, 2015 at 7:46 pm

    It is vital to take control of these unionist councils, they have to much control over public assets, ie, village and school halls, granting permission to some groups but not others.
    There is no democracy where these councils or their Quangos have control, it is either their way or no way. I feel the riddance of these to be more important than Holyrood although both would be my first choice

    Absolutely. The red tories are down but not out. They remain the last obstacle to independence IMO. I completely agree that, whilst everyone is talking about Holyrood 2016, it’s the 2017 council elections that will be crucial. Scotland’s councils have to be cleansed of red tory muck before we can move forward to Indyref2.

  184. Lesley-Anne says:

    Well O/T here but just a wee bit of info for those who may be regular or even not so regular travelers via airport duty free zones. 😉

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelnews/11796026/VAT-revolt-as-thousands-refuse-to-show-boarding-passes-to-airport-shops.html

  185. Brian Doonthetoon says:

    Hi cearc.

    You dared to type,
    “Well I don’t and I’m certain that Paula Rose doesn’t. (She very carefully sources her goodies)”

    You weren’t at Helensburgh. Paula Rose was overtaken by ‘squiffy-juice’ and, while partaking of a Turkish cigarette of dubious origin, in her LONG holder, on the Helensburgh riverfront, in a conversation that covered styes an’ thah’, admitted that her crotchless balaclava had been bought from the bargain bin at Screwfix.

    BTW: good news about continuing the grassroots efforts in George Square on the 19th.

    LET’S DO IT!

  186. Lesley-Anne says:

    Thing is Dai, in my blinkered outlook on life, I have to ask … what the hell was GCC doing for THREE MONTH’S?

    The original application to hold the rally in Freedom Square went in from Tommy Sheridan on May 13th apparently. Why on earth did it take GCC three month’s to turn round and say no?

    This is nothing more. nothing less than a political stunt by the Muppet Matheson. Unfortunately for Matheson, like all of his previous political attempts, this has FAILED!

    No one is prepared to pay Matheson and his cronies the slightest bit of attention any more. He and his mates are dead men/women walking. 😛

    The Hope over Fear rally goes on and as has been said previously as well as on Twitter and Facebook … there is NOTHING they can do to stop it happening. Should they show their true ignorance and incompetence then THEY will end up with egg all over themselves … a lot worse than their recently dear departed, now EX, leader Murph the Smurph ever had. 😀

  187. X_Sticks says:

    Happy birthday Lesley-Anne 🙂

    Thanks for the boarding pass info. Didn’t know that. Do now. I’ll be tweeting that one. Presume you have already 😉

  188. Petra says:

    Seems strange to me that the SBO of the Labour Party would entertain a person such as Matheson at all and now he’s got the brass neck to apply for Depute Leader … Labour truly dredging the bottom of the barrel. Then again maybe he’s hoping that with his type of track record he’ll eventually take Sewels place in the HoLs.

  189. Lesley-Anne says:

    X_Sticks says:

    Happy birthday Lesley-Anne 🙂

    Thanks for the boarding pass info. Didn’t know that. Do now. I’ll be tweeting that one. Presume you have already 😉

    Thanks X-Sticks. I can’t wait for Saturday, hopefully this sweatshirt arrives in time! 😀

    No presumption needed there X … I have! 😉 😀

  190. call me dave says:

    O/T
    Dundee derby all square first half: link on OFF TOPIC.

    PS
    Just a wee sports moment that’s worth the watching: 🙂
    —————————————————————-
    “I didn’t really think twice about allowing them to equalise. It just wouldn’t have been right for us to take three points in the circumstances,” the BBC quoted Dickov as saying after the English third tier match ended 1-1.

    “It was just an unfortunate ending to the game. Harry Forrester hit the ball too sweet and I was just hoping it wouldn’t go in.

    “When it did we just had to allow them to score because you can’t win a game like that.”
    —————————————————————-

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fu-SlwrxRTk

  191. Lesley-Anne says:

    Erm might help if I actually put the link up I suppose … DOH! 😀

    https://fabrily.com/ScotlandBrave

  192. Tam Jardine says:

    ronnie anderson

    this SIP thing is weird. What connection have you made with Alistair McConnachie?

    He was one of those individuals registered as No campaigners with the electoral commission in the referendum along with some other heroes of the union.

    I looked at the site and the aims are all well and good, registered to the post office in St Mary’s street, off the royal mile. What I saw bear no relation to the FB page mentioned above. https://archive.is/Ui1Ec

    All seems very strange. Attempting to split the SNP vote is all very predictable but if this were a serious attempt I would be expecting something a bit more ‘Vote no borders’ ie punted in the press to a fanfare followed by professional, expensive website and lots of ordinary people being filmed endorsing.

    All in all, I think my wee SNP card can rest easy in my wallet. Interested in getting to the bottom.

    By the way, saw your OT about Saturday – will see if I can make it.

  193. chris kilby says:

    Beyond odious. But you absolutely sure you haven’t got a wee hard-on for her, Stu? You do bang on about her a lot. Protesting too much?

    (I can’t stand her either, but honestly can’t blame you. By any objective standard, she IS a good-lookin’ lassie. But, like Sarah Palin, I fear looking into her eyes would be like gazing into a bottomless, soul-sucking abyss. Whatever turns you on, I suppose…)

  194. Tam Jardine says:

    chris kilby

    Good luck with that line of enquiry

  195. Joemcg says:

    Mone said on channel 4 news “I didn’t leave Scotland because of them”(cybernats) what the fuck was that Daily Heil interview about then? She’s a liar too.

  196. Simon Barrow says:

    Good research. Strangely, Channel 4’s Matt Frei didn’t appear to know any of this when he offered Ms Mone some free publicity (sorry, “interviewed her”) this evening. But he did manage to get in several digs against independence and SNP supporters in the guise of “questions”.

  197. john king says:

    Scunterbunnet says
    “f we give McLean the big pillar in the middle, and keep Burns and James Watt, that leaves nine plinths with brazen unionist totems we can recycle. Howzaboot Wallace and Bruce for the horsey end, then Thomas Muir, John Baird, Andrew Hardie, Mary Barbour, James Connolly, Jimmy Reid and Willie McRae? … or did I just take that too far ;)”

    Fit aboot oor Wullie? 🙂

  198. dakk says:

    A masterclass in how to get rich quick and how to make friends in high places and influence people.

    Now I know where I went wrong in life !

  199. Dr Jim says:

    Scottish Independence Party

    “I Like Them”, they should get their own show, I’d watch that

    They could get scantily clad girls in Khaki with guns shooting at stuff while the Guys eat Haggis Burgers and drink pints of whisky while dressed in tartan shirts with dead animals draped over the bonnets of their trucks

    All grunting, Aye Och Grr Ochone Ochone

    Missing teeth would also be a good look
    Maybe some of the men could have that too (boom boom

    But on a more serious note…Naw..Really?

  200. ronnie anderson says:

    @ Tam Jardine I dont have anything other than what Mitch Kilbride posted on Scot2scot .I had a look at the address 268 Bath St Glas & remember seeing that somewhere as a Tax Avoidance address for buisnesses in Scotland.

    Hope you can make it on Sat to get something set up,for Wings nite out in Sept.

  201. ronnie anderson says:

    @ Tan Jardine disregart my last post & that address in Bath St thats the Scottish Recovery Consortium that applied for George Square on the 19th, missread my notes.

  202. call me dave says:

    Swinney spends wisely after council gives permission says Hootsman. 🙂

    https://archive.is/72Wrk

    Footie: Good game. 2-2

  203. ClanDonald says:

    According to official company records Michelle Mone’s Trimsecrets diet pill company has a net worth of £-6490.

    http://www.companycheck.co.uk/company/SC310020

  204. Bob Mack says:

    It seems to be the females from humble beginnings who have made good,are the most vociferous in denying others their rights.I think of Mone, JK,Jackie Bird,Sarah Smith etc.

    Not enough cups in an ultimo bra for the number of t##s there are.

  205. One_Scot says:

    Beginning to think she’s aspiring to be Katie Price.

  206. Dal Riata says:

    “I’ll be traveling across the UK from John O’Groats to Land’s End to talk to and listen to people and groups from all backgrounds. I want to learn about the barriers they are facing and what changes are needed.”

    Mrs Mone will now spend the coming months traveling across the country visiting communities with high levels of deprivation and “entrenched worklessness”.

    Her review “will have a particular focus on disadvantaged groups including benefit claimants, women, young and disabled people and ex-offenders”, a spokesman said.

    Cannae wait tae see ye, Michelle, doll! Ye know, when ye come up tae that bit at the north of the UK – it’s called Scotland, mibbeez ye’ve heard ae it, naw? It’s gonnae be pure dead brilliant when ye visit oor poor wee deprived communities, ful ae skint dole-bludgers, ex-cons and thon yins ye call “the entrenched workless”, so it is! Pure blessed that ye care aboot us sae much that yur gonnae come up here an sort us aw oot, so we ur, pure blessed.

    Wur aw gonnae be comin oot tae gie ye a right good Scottish welcome, Michelle, so we ur… Cannae wait tae see ye…..

  207. ronnie anderson says:

    @ Lesley Anne Happy Birthday xx.

  208. john king says:

    Happy birthday mlady xxx

  209. ArtyHetty says:

    Will she have to have a police check like all people working with vulnerable groups? How will she be trained and what sort of equality training and code of conduct will she be expected to adhere to?

    Looks like IDS has women down as needing some guidance as a disadvantaged group, hmmm.

    I think women have the measure of things mr, they don’t need a fake tan seller to tell them how to do things. Communities need money and opportunities, and wmpowerment, not some jumped up cow being paid a ridiculous amount to gad about uselessly.

  210. Onwards says:

    ClanDonald says:

    11 August, 2015 at 4:31 pm

    I really wish they wouldn’t call George Square Freedom Square, it has very right-wing American connotations attached to it. “Freedom Fries!!”. Once we’re independent I hope it will be re-named but personally I’d prefer Independence Square.

    One thing I wouldn’t mind sharing with the Americans is the Fourth of July.
    That would be a nice summery date for future parties, and might get some knock-on buzz from the Independence Day celebrations in the states, which is all over social media.

    Lets face it, the Fourth of July is a better independence day date than September the 18th.

    Plus if a future President Clinton sticks her beak in again, it would just make her look like a hypocrite.

  211. Lesley-Anne says:

    Many thanks Ronnie. I’ll be thinking of you all on Saturday especially if everything goes off BIGGER than planned. 😉

  212. ArtyHetty says:

    Will she have to have a police check like all people working with vulnerable groups? How will she be trained and what sort of equality training and code of conduct will she be expected to adhere to?

    Looks like IDS has women down as needing some guidance as a disadvantaged group, hmmm.

    I think women have the measure of things mr, they don’t need a fake tan seller to tell them how to do things. Communities made up of at let 50% women, need money and opportunities, and empowerment, not some jumped up cow being paid a ridiculous amount to gad about uselessly.

  213. peekay says:

    ClanDonald says:

    “Once we’re independent I hope it will be re-named but personally I’d prefer Independence Square.”

    Personally I’d prefer ‘Peekay Square’, at the very least I think I deserve a street named after me..

  214. Petra says:

    Thanks for the laugh Dal Riata ???? ????

    And Happy Birthday to you Lesley-Anne ???? ???? ????

  215. Dal Riata says:

    “Michelle Mone: My day on a plate

    5am Wake up extra-early to make sure that my son, a trainee stockbroker, is up and getting ready for work. Drink a glass of warm water with two fresh lemon wedges.

    6.30am Go to the gym or out for a run and then head back home to jump in the shower.

    7am I have a full-shot espresso macchiato and a small bowl of porridge, then check my emails while getting my hair blow-dried.

    9am I’m in and out of meetings at my house all morning and drink loads of water to keep me hydrated.

    2pm I don’t eat a lot of bread and would normally have a salad, but I’m super-busy today so I grab a chicken wrap for lunch.

    3.30pm Off to another meeting, this time out of the house. Drink more water.

    7.30pm Dinner is steamed chicken or fish with lots of vegetables. I used to hate them but now I eat a whole bowl of asparagus, beetroot, beans, courgettes and cabbage every night with pomegranates on top.

    12pm Get into bed and look through my emails until 1am.”

    Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! LOL! ROFL!

    “Mince ‘n’ tatties? Fish supper? Haggis? Black pudding? Kippers? Stovies? Pan bread? A boatle ae ginger? That kind of common Scottish muck? Naaa, fuck that!

    None of that crap Scottish shite for me, well, except for the porridge…” Michelle Mone *didn’t* say!

  216. Petra says:

    Oops smiley faces, balloons and birthday cake seem to have disappeared!!

  217. Lesley-Anne says:

    Thanks Petra won’t be doing much … never do … however I’ll be dreaming about doing loads! 😀

  218. Brian Doonthetoon says:

    How can BBC ‘Election 2015’ have the Carbunckle on as a spokesperson for data privacy?

    Mind you, gie the guy his due, the interviewer finished off with an embarrassment.

  219. Gary45% says:

    Let Ms Moan surround herself with Tories.
    After all she is used to supporting TITS.

  220. Dave McEwan Hill says:

    O/T
    The 100th anniversary of the execution (or should I say murder as he had surrendered?)of Edinburgh’s James Connolly in Dublin in 1916 is on the Monday of the Scottish Parliament Election.

  221. Paula Rose says:

    Don’t start me – plenty of reasons to mone about ill-fitting bras, that ultimo was a disaster for my friends, I warned them against it from the outset. As for the new stuff – ffs nothing of any worth.

  222. Effijy says:

    I was a member of the St Andrews Boxing Club in Glasgow, where
    Moane sported skimpy clothes to walk around the Ring with a Card
    showing the number of the next round.

    She was fine as most of the fights were scheduled for 10 rounds.

    If we had a 12 round Fight, they brought in another girls who
    didn’t need to stop counting when she ran out of fingers.
    (She was really that young ring girl with an eye for businessmen)

    Loved her appearance on a Televised Celebrity Charity Team Event.
    She had a young redhead from Eastenders in her team and started to order her on what she should be doing. The young woman tore her to shreds and enquired who the F**** do you think you are?
    Something Off that I couldn’t make out! lol
    Her face was brilliant.

    The woman loves herself to bits and is a liability to anything she gets involved in. Red Tory Blue Tory supporter it doesn’t matters she just scores another own goal for the SNP!

  223. Stephen McKenzie says:

    Dal Riata @ 10:45

    Sorry Dal but the 7:30 meal is way too much for the Ozone Layer and Pomegranates on top! That’s so Thursday..

    I would reference Michelle’s latest series “Power food does you braw” as featured in the Telegraph. A lighter, but more balanced and ethnic diet (no mince) will also do you good as well the welfare of other family members and any Lords who may now be in close £300 a day attendance.

    Could I suggest a low fat Corsican Lager between 7:30 until you hit the emails at midnight, after all your are worth it.

    I am available for mentoring..

  224. Les wilson says:

    I think this SIP, is an underhand Westminster plot, to start to divide the SNP vote. They know that another Indy will come sometime, so they are laying their plans now. They are accumulating a war chest to fight a really dirty campaign.

    We need to really get a grip and not allow our attention to be divided by those who pretend to care, and really do not.

    Their aim is to maintain the Union, not to gain an Independent Scotland, don’t fall for any seductive talk about Indy.
    We know who we trust, we should not fall for devious Unionist ploys. Divide and conquer is their game.

  225. Effijy says:

    Hope over Fat

    Fat Chancer

    Thanks for the Mammaries

    Lady Wail n’ Moan

    Balloon and Bust

    Sir Alexander the Berate

  226. Steve says:

    Great article and a long overdue analysis. The claims the media make regarding her wealth are fanciful . If you analyse her company accounts or look on companycheck (both free to use) then directors salaries were 200k or thereabouts most years. She’s probably worth a couple of million tops rather than the ridiculous and lazy journalism figures bandied about by the media. Hardly the huge success story she claims to be. Interestingly, the sale terms of her business were never disclosed which says everything given her love for self-publicity. The value of her homes (again very easy to check) certainly don’t suggest someone of the wealth she claims. Finally, why has a newspaper never investigated her financial affairs and published similar analysis to this article? I’d have thought it to be a great story to publish.

  227. chris kilby says:

    The Empress’ New Bra…?

  228. Husker says:

    The three boob bra has just been made.

    Not for the bird on Total Recall but for Michelle Mone, to fit over her chest and over her head.

  229. Jonbgood says:

    Surprised no-ones drawn attention to Ms Mones’ appearance on BBC Radio 5Live on 11/8. Moaning faced disaster. Listen to her complaining about the “SNP nasties”and Nocola.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b064xcmd#play

  230. Nigel S says:

    I personally like this idea “Can soup change the world?” http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-31594513 thinking of starting one local to me

  231. Ken500 says:

    If she is so wealthy why does she have to sell diet pills?

    Does she stay in the apartment or is it rented by the hour/day. A PR stunt. She was staying in a different place.

    House of Lords benefit cheats.

  232. J Williams says:

    I welcome her appointment despite her illiteracy on twitter!

    We need these regular slaps in the face from the UK government in order to convince unionists in Scotland how bust (Freudian) the UK model is.

    Maybe Alex Massie should be the new Scottish media watchdog too?

  233. One_Scot says:

    Apparently Moan has been signed up by Penn and Teller for next summers tour.

  234. Business leaders backlash after Mone made start-up czar

    https://archive.is/PHlan

  235. Nigel S says:

    I like this way of starting businesses “Can soup change the world? ” http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-31594513

  236. Colin Church says:

    Jonbgood says:

    “Surprised no-ones drawn attention to Ms Mones’ appearance on BBC Radio 5Live on 11/8. Moaning faced disaster. Listen to her complaining about the “SNP nasties”and Nocola.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b064xcmd#play

    At about 1hr 24mins in.
    Oh my word. What a disaster interview – no plan, no ability, name dropping, self promoting mess. Her SNP hate lies are just horrible.

  237. Big Jock says:

    I was very suspicious when this so called :”Independence Party” appeared. Is it worth investigating them to see if they are gehuine or just there to divide and rule as some have suggested.

  238. Big Jock says:

    If anyone watched the Andrew Carnegie story last night. It shows Mone for what she really is. Carnegie started with nothing as a 13 year old immigrant to the US.

    He became the richest man in the world. The difference is he gave most of it away and was a pacafist, republican and philanthrapist. Jees this man was so ahead of his time. He turned down a title from the King as he didn’t believe in monarchy or inherited wealth!

  239. Swami Backverandah says:

    ‘Evasive’ procedures?

    Is she in thrall to Peter Foster?

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Foster

  240. Petra says:

    ‘Her (Michelle Mone) record in employment terms, however – the ostensible reason for the Department for Work and Pensions commissioning her report – is somewhat less impressive than her ability to accumulate an enormous personal fortune while running a loss-making business. Over 90% of Ultimo’s workforce was employed in China, in what the Daily Record alleged in 2004 were sweatshop conditions.’

    The (business) woman who chose to employ foreigners, no doubt earning half a peanut an hour and working in hellish conditions, now regaled by the Great British establishment to help the disadvantaged in the UK start own businesses. Ever felt as though you’re going doolally?

  241. NN says:

    @Petra

    Welcome to the future. It’s only going to get worse on this path. As a society we’ve long since celebrated and worshipped such behaviour or people. Sadly, it’s no great innovation to get slave labour to do your labour for you. Anyone can live comfortably if they’re allowed to employ people in conditions that would shock a feudal serf. The media and majority will cheerlead us all into the same conditions in the long run as the economies are on a race to the bottom.

  242. Petra says:

    Yes NN I agree. The Pied Piper comes to mind!

  243. Doug Daniel says:

    Every time you update this, it gets funnier and funnier.

  244. Stephen G says:

    A friend of mine used Michelle’s Boobs Plus product, currently being sold on Amazon. She was not impressed by the result and I recommended she leave a negative review.

  245. Colin Church says:

    Please, Please Nicola send her a tweet saying “U OK HUN?”

  246. Harry McAye says:

    Colin Church says:
    Please, Please Nicola send her a tweet saying “U OK HUN?”

    Now now! I’m sure she’s a Celtic fan.

  247. Democracy Reborn says:

    C’mon Stu, fess up.

    Your next poker night dress code is actually ‘Sewel’ attire, isn’t it? Ultimo bra and matching pants?



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