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Trident to be moved to Mars

Posted on January 09, 2013 by

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  1. 28 08 14 14:26

    (It is likely that…) Independence will bring a bigger dividend than even the Yes campaign predict | The Science of Independence

39 to “Trident to be moved to Mars”

  1. douglas clark says:

    Seems a fair summing up to me

  2. muttley79 says:

    Not confusing at all.  :D:  Still around 20 months of scare stories to go.  Surely that can’t be sustained? 

  3. Training Day says:

    There are 3 Martians and a Martian dug within a 10 mile radius of the proposed site for Trident on Mars.  Keep it in the West of Scotland where only 1 million people are at risk. 

  4. Rev. Stuart Campbell says:

    TD: Does the dug have any wee sausage rolls? (NB Not a euphemism.)

  5. Macart says:

    Last I’d heard was that Faslane was the proposed sight not just for an independent Scottish navy but acting as the headquarters for the proposed SDF. That would be minus subs of nuclear capability or otherwise.

    Seems to me that job prospects in the local economy would be looking up as the selected ideal base for Scotland’s forces.

  6. Training Day says:


    Aye, and he also won Miss Inverness 2010  😉

  7. cath says:

    “Mars is in fact the only place that the Trident weapons system definitely WON’T be going”

    I presume you have a link to back that up? It’s absolutely, 100% certain it won’t and can’t go to Mars? Have you taken legal advice, and if so was that general or specific advice, and was the legal adviser a Martian or a universe expert on Martian law?

    Because there is always tomorrow and the No
    campaign could say anything at all. Perhaps Trident will stay and Scotland, in its entirety may have to be sent to Mars! Have you considered that, huh? Huh? No I bet not because you stupid separatist Yes types have never considered these kinds of questions, despite having over 300 years to do it!

    Do I get the Better Together job? 🙂

  8. Rev. Stuart Campbell says:

    cath: When can you start?

  9. muttley79 says:

    Better Together seem to have morphed almost completely into Think Twice (No to Scottish Parliament in 1997).  Wheeling out all the right wingers in Scottish political life, backed up by Iain McMillan and the CBI.  Although this time they have the BBC and the mainstream media on side.  With the newspapers sales in Scotland plummeting, and the scare stories taking on an decidedly more comic and absurd appearance, how much of a boost is it to have the media on side?  Significant but declining I should think.

  10. Tearlach says:


    just sometimes one wishes for a FB style like button on WOS.


  11. Rev. Stuart Campbell says:

    I might actually have to steal Cath’s post…

  12. Jeannie says:


  13. Jeannie says:

    @ Training Day
    Cruel……..but funny!

  14. Cuphook says:

    Has no one considered building a base in the White Cliffs of Dover? That way they can be pointed straight at the European Union and make Johnny Foreigner think again about straight cucumbers.
    As there is nowhere in the rUK to put these WMD then the only alternative is nuclear disarmament. Locating them in France or the USA (or even Scotland) would be in breach of article 1 of the non-proliferation treaty.

  15. scottish_skier says:

    It’s the uncertainty over our membership of the Galactic Alliance post independence that’s worrying me.

  16. BillO says:

    Couldn’t the rumpUK just stick it up it’s collective arse.  Must be tons of room up there.

    Sorry to be so anally focused in myfirst post. 

  17. MajorBloodnok says:

    Scottish Intergalactic Alliance Independent Defence Force slogan “To Fintry and Beyond!”

  18. TYRAN says:

    Convert Westminster into something out of Tracy Island to house Trident. They are the ones sporting hard-ons over it. So why be cut off from it? Westminster and Trident. Better Together. 

  19. MajorBloodnok says:


    So you’re thinking maybe it’ll be Uranus rather than Mars?

  20. Jeannie says:

    I suppose they could always solve the problem at little or no cost by doing what they’ve done in the past to circumvent a difficult issue – rename it!  Well, it worked for Windscale/Sellafield.  Remove the problem of Trident buy renaming it Dritnet or Endritt or just give it a general description rather than an actual name, e.g. big, expensive, useless westminster penis extension.

  21. JLT says:

    (I tried to edit this piece on another page, but was unable to do so)

    I’ve tried to look at this period of time for what it is…and I think it really is just a ’phoney war’. The real battle has yet to begin. I take heart from that fact, as it means that hopefully the lies will eventually stop.

    As everyone says, the ‘Yes’ camp have still to get started, the ‘No’ camp are making noises, they shout a bit, gnash their teeth, and then ‘confuddle’ the written lies once more with more garbage.
    I hope once the referendum does begin, that the Scottish Government will come down like a ton of bricks on the media, and threaten them with the law. Surely, openly lying to the state, and not being partial, especially with what is at stake, is a crime, and therefore, must be punishable. Surely, heavy fines would soon sort the media out.
    No one is talking about the Referendum at this time, because it isn’t here yet. So…what do we really have…
    The way I see it ….right now …it’s the die-hard Nationalists (us) having a war of words with the die-hard Unionists. It’s just a slanging match, but the mistake they are making is that by spouting their garbage now, they are allowing us to get the real truth material ready for when it all does begin.
    I hope when the SNP finally do get into gear, that the lies from the other side will vanish, and that the Unionists will have to up their game. I can see people being very peed off should the current nonsense continue when the Referendum does get underway. People (the unsures – even some of the ‘No’s’) will smell a rat if the lies persist, and it will only be the Unionists fault, should the end result be …Independence.

  22. An Duine Gruamach says:

    If I didnae ken better, I’d think the government and media were making keich up mair or less at random.  But I’m sure that can’t possibly be happening.

  23. JLT says:

    With all these ‘statements’ and lies being said, one question I do have is (as mentioned on previous entries), once it begins, will the Scottish Government come down hard on the newspapers and the BBC (the main culprits on telly), and hammer them with massive fines, if they are not partial, or for openly lying?

    It worries me that when it does get going, that this pi$h will continue …and we know it can’t (it must not!!). Therefore, will Alex and Nicola have (I don’t know…I’m guessing here), the Law Lords intervene and warn the media?

  24. Stevie Mach says:

    Er, maybe they could just sail them off to the edge of the world and let them fall, after all, some of the drivel unionists spout about Trident and the obsolete abomination it provides as a ‘defence’ system, makes me think they live still in the dark ages when a flat earth was a perfectly sound proposition!
    Who cares where they go, just get them out of Scotland!

  25. Ray says:

    I’m tempted to do my next spoof story for National Collective on this. Especially since you’ve done all the hard work for me with all those links in one place. Trident WILL go Mars, you’ll see!!

  26. AndrewFraeGovan says:

    On the galactic theme
    always makes me laugh 

  27. Pa Broon says:

    According to the Scotsman…

    They’re relocating trident missiles to the Scottish/English Border. Not only will Westminster not be able to afford to run trident but they’ll also not be able to afford fence posts for the border that will spring up post 2014.

    They’re now trying to decide which way up the missiles will go into the ground and whether to re-use the union flag bunting from the Jubilee as a barrier or deploy something a bit more forbidding.

  28. douglas clark says:

    It is Unionists who have pointed out, quite correctly in my opinion, that the world is indeed flat. You’ve only got to look at a map of the world to see that. Ma school teacher Miss Lamont told me that so it must be true! Alex Salmond is a bare faced liar and I am truly glad that the Unionists have called him out on yet another attempt to mislead the Scottish people.

  29. @Cath
    If the No campaign won’t have you, we will.

  30. Alan says:

    Ah’ll take them. They’d be lovely oan the Forth & Clyde Canal…

  31. velofello says:

    @ Cuphook
    Relocate Trident to the White Cliffs of Dover! Crumbs (crumbling0, I say what a spiffing idea.
    Blue skies thinking by Jove. 
    All this exponential growth of jobs losses is a phallacy. And picking up on Jeannie’s solution to rename Trident so the Trident problem is no longer, a rename as Phallic should do the prick?  

  32. Jen says:

    I think the multiple sources of “Where trident is or might go” is nothing more than a strand of fearmongering from unionists.  Keeping the issue in the public mind.   It seems to work well for social security and welfare bashing.   Slowly chipping away at people’s thoughts. 

    Fear, uncertainty and doubt the weapons of choice from Unionists. 


  33. dadsarmy says:

    UK Government and Trident to move to Mars, saving millions of jobs and the UK economy“.

    At last, a decent UK Government policy!

  34. Bill says:

    It would take years to build a new Faslane/Coulport on Mars, at least 20 yrs. Better we keep them at Faslane till expiry, its the only option AS has.

  35. uilleam_beag says:

    @ Bill
    “It would take years to build a new Faslane/Coulport on Mars, at least 20 yrs”

    Och, we could always tell Tullochs it was an extension to the Caley Thistle ground, that’d get it finished well ahead of schedule. 

  36. dadsarmy says:

    Mars being the God of War, it’s appropriate anyway.

  37. Gordon says:

    You have forgotten to mention the Falklands, the reason for that location is that they can then threaten their new neighbour !!!….then again that on second thoughts that is probably a good place to put them !!!

  38. James says:

    @gordon you stole my idea then I thought on it, they can’t put trident there either. The MOD would veto that as there is reports oil is around the Falklands so trident can’t be put there is we vote aye. Cause Westminster will need the oil from somewhere to pay for HS2, the London sewage system, the new London airport etc etc as long as it had London it gets the go ahead. I have an idea why not put them out of harms way how about the Azours that way they are out of everybody’s way. And the navy can play on there wee boats to and from there.

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