Trident to be moved to Mars
Wait, sorry. We got confused. As far as we can establish from some recent official statements by the UK Government, the No campaign and the media, Mars is in fact the only place that the Trident weapons system definitely WON’T be going if Scotland votes for independence. Let’s have a quick recap on where we’re up to.
Trident would have to remain in Scotland even under independence
Trident could move to Devonport
Trident definitely CAN’T go to Devenport
Trident could move to the USA or France (48, 49)
Trident couldn’t move to Wales, the USA, France or anywhere else on Earth
Moving Trident would cost £3.5 billion
Moving Trident would cost £25 billion
Moving Trident would cost £50 billion
Moving Trident would take four, 10, 15 or 20 years, or more. Or less. (40-46)
Moving Trident would cost 520 jobs
Moving Trident would cost 1,200 jobs
Moving Trident would cost 6,000 jobs
Moving Trident would cost 11,000 jobs
Moving Trident would cost 19,000 jobs
Moving Trident would cost 22,000 jobs (about 50s in)
Nobody knows how many jobs moving Trident would cost
Moving Trident would result in GAINING jobs
Everyone clear? Super.
Seems a fair summing up to me
🙂
Not confusing at all. :D: Still around 20 months of scare stories to go. Surely that can’t be sustained?
There are 3 Martians and a Martian dug within a 10 mile radius of the proposed site for Trident on Mars. Keep it in the West of Scotland where only 1 million people are at risk.
TD: Does the dug have any wee sausage rolls? (NB Not a euphemism.)
Last I’d heard was that Faslane was the proposed sight not just for an independent Scottish navy but acting as the headquarters for the proposed SDF. That would be minus subs of nuclear capability or otherwise.
link to moraysnp.org
Seems to me that job prospects in the local economy would be looking up as the selected ideal base for Scotland’s forces.
@Rev
Aye, and he also won Miss Inverness 2010 😉
“Mars is in fact the only place that the Trident weapons system definitely WON’T be going”
I presume you have a link to back that up? It’s absolutely, 100% certain it won’t and can’t go to Mars? Have you taken legal advice, and if so was that general or specific advice, and was the legal adviser a Martian or a universe expert on Martian law?
Because there is always tomorrow and the No
campaign could say anything at all. Perhaps Trident will stay and Scotland, in its entirety may have to be sent to Mars! Have you considered that, huh? Huh? No I bet not because you stupid separatist Yes types have never considered these kinds of questions, despite having over 300 years to do it!
Do I get the Better Together job? 🙂
cath: When can you start?
Better Together seem to have morphed almost completely into Think Twice (No to Scottish Parliament in 1997). Wheeling out all the right wingers in Scottish political life, backed up by Iain McMillan and the CBI. Although this time they have the BBC and the mainstream media on side. With the newspapers sales in Scotland plummeting, and the scare stories taking on an decidedly more comic and absurd appearance, how much of a boost is it to have the media on side? Significant but declining I should think.
Cath
just sometimes one wishes for a FB style like button on WOS.
Classic.
I might actually have to steal Cath’s post…
@Cath
Brilliant!
@ Training Day
Cruel……..but funny!
Has no one considered building a base in the White Cliffs of Dover? That way they can be pointed straight at the European Union and make Johnny Foreigner think again about straight cucumbers.
As there is nowhere in the rUK to put these WMD then the only alternative is nuclear disarmament. Locating them in France or the USA (or even Scotland) would be in breach of article 1 of the non-proliferation treaty.
It’s the uncertainty over our membership of the Galactic Alliance post independence that’s worrying me.
Couldn’t the rumpUK just stick it up it’s collective arse. Must be tons of room up there.
Sorry to be so anally focused in myfirst post.
Scottish Intergalactic Alliance Independent Defence Force slogan “To Fintry and Beyond!”
Convert Westminster into something out of Tracy Island to house Trident. They are the ones sporting hard-ons over it. So why be cut off from it? Westminster and Trident. Better Together.
@BillO
So you’re thinking maybe it’ll be Uranus rather than Mars?
I suppose they could always solve the problem at little or no cost by doing what they’ve done in the past to circumvent a difficult issue – rename it! Well, it worked for Windscale/Sellafield. Remove the problem of Trident buy renaming it Dritnet or Endritt or just give it a general description rather than an actual name, e.g. big, expensive, useless westminster penis extension.
(I tried to edit this piece on another page, but was unable to do so)
I’ve tried to look at this period of time for what it is…and I think it really is just a ’phoney war’. The real battle has yet to begin. I take heart from that fact, as it means that hopefully the lies will eventually stop.
As everyone says, the ‘Yes’ camp have still to get started, the ‘No’ camp are making noises, they shout a bit, gnash their teeth, and then ‘confuddle’ the written lies once more with more garbage.
I hope once the referendum does begin, that the Scottish Government will come down like a ton of bricks on the media, and threaten them with the law. Surely, openly lying to the state, and not being partial, especially with what is at stake, is a crime, and therefore, must be punishable. Surely, heavy fines would soon sort the media out.
No one is talking about the Referendum at this time, because it isn’t here yet. So…what do we really have…
The way I see it ….right now …it’s the die-hard Nationalists (us) having a war of words with the die-hard Unionists. It’s just a slanging match, but the mistake they are making is that by spouting their garbage now, they are allowing us to get the real truth material ready for when it all does begin.
I hope when the SNP finally do get into gear, that the lies from the other side will vanish, and that the Unionists will have to up their game. I can see people being very peed off should the current nonsense continue when the Referendum does get underway. People (the unsures – even some of the ‘No’s’) will smell a rat if the lies persist, and it will only be the Unionists fault, should the end result be …Independence.
If I didnae ken better, I’d think the government and media were making keich up mair or less at random. But I’m sure that can’t possibly be happening.
With all these ‘statements’ and lies being said, one question I do have is (as mentioned on previous entries), once it begins, will the Scottish Government come down hard on the newspapers and the BBC (the main culprits on telly), and hammer them with massive fines, if they are not partial, or for openly lying?
It worries me that when it does get going, that this pi$h will continue …and we know it can’t (it must not!!). Therefore, will Alex and Nicola have (I don’t know…I’m guessing here), the Law Lords intervene and warn the media?
Er, maybe they could just sail them off to the edge of the world and let them fall, after all, some of the drivel unionists spout about Trident and the obsolete abomination it provides as a ‘defence’ system, makes me think they live still in the dark ages when a flat earth was a perfectly sound proposition!
Who cares where they go, just get them out of Scotland!
I’m tempted to do my next spoof story for National Collective on this. Especially since you’ve done all the hard work for me with all those links in one place. Trident WILL go Mars, you’ll see!!
On the galactic theme
link to youtube.com
always makes me laugh
According to the Scotsman…
They’re relocating trident missiles to the Scottish/English Border. Not only will Westminster not be able to afford to run trident but they’ll also not be able to afford fence posts for the border that will spring up post 2014.
They’re now trying to decide which way up the missiles will go into the ground and whether to re-use the union flag bunting from the Jubilee as a barrier or deploy something a bit more forbidding.
It is Unionists who have pointed out, quite correctly in my opinion, that the world is indeed flat. You’ve only got to look at a map of the world to see that. Ma school teacher Miss Lamont told me that so it must be true! Alex Salmond is a bare faced liar and I am truly glad that the Unionists have called him out on yet another attempt to mislead the Scottish people.
@Cath
If the No campaign won’t have you, we will.
Ah’ll take them. They’d be lovely oan the Forth & Clyde Canal…
@ Cuphook
Relocate Trident to the White Cliffs of Dover! Crumbs (crumbling0, I say what a spiffing idea.
Blue skies thinking by Jove.
All this exponential growth of jobs losses is a phallacy. And picking up on Jeannie’s solution to rename Trident so the Trident problem is no longer, a rename as Phallic should do the prick?
I think the multiple sources of “Where trident is or might go” is nothing more than a strand of fearmongering from unionists. Keeping the issue in the public mind. It seems to work well for social security and welfare bashing. Slowly chipping away at people’s thoughts.
Fear, uncertainty and doubt the weapons of choice from Unionists.
“UK Government and Trident to move to Mars, saving millions of jobs and the UK economy“.
At last, a decent UK Government policy!
It would take years to build a new Faslane/Coulport on Mars, at least 20 yrs. Better we keep them at Faslane till expiry, its the only option AS has.
@ Bill
“It would take years to build a new Faslane/Coulport on Mars, at least 20 yrs”
Och, we could always tell Tullochs it was an extension to the Caley Thistle ground, that’d get it finished well ahead of schedule.
Mars being the God of War, it’s appropriate anyway.
You have forgotten to mention the Falklands, the reason for that location is that they can then threaten their new neighbour !!!….then again that on second thoughts that is probably a good place to put them !!!
[…] This is a piece that I’ve had the idea for for a while. Some of the “hidden” benefits of independence have been discussed elsewhere, such as the fact that £billions of defence spending allocated as “in Scotland” actually never comes near Scotland. That’s been quantified in the White Paper as a defence spend of £2.5billion will be £1billion less than is currently allocated, but about £1billion MORE than is actually spent – regardless of the purpose that’s an extra billion quid a year stimulating the economy. On top of that we will actually have proper defences for the first time in years, and kick Trident the fuck out of here. […]
@gordon you stole my idea then I thought on it, they can’t put trident there either. The MOD would veto that as there is reports oil is around the Falklands so trident can’t be put there is we vote aye. Cause Westminster will need the oil from somewhere to pay for HS2, the London sewage system, the new London airport etc etc as long as it had London it gets the go ahead. I have an idea why not put them out of harms way how about the Azours that way they are out of everybody’s way. And the navy can play on there wee boats to and from there.
link to naval-technology.com
Official:Trident now obsolete!