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The secret of good comedy

Posted on January 10, 2014 by

…they say, is timing. Alert readers may have noticed that Scottish Labour have spent all day on a cheap smear attempt against SNP Cowdenbeath by-election candidate Natalie McGarry, based on a couple of personal Twitter comments she made two years ago that were mildly critical of teachers, and which Labour had evidently rather creepily kept on file for all that time just in case she was ever selected to fight a seat.

“How DARE she attack our heroic, flawless and infinitely mighty educators?” had been the line since early this morning, issued alongside the uncompromisingly righteous hashtag #ContemptForTeachers. (Although all Ms McGarry had actually said was that teachers do a good job but liked to moan a bit, which isn’t terribly contemptuous.)

So there was a certain inevitability that the hapless, bumbling D-listers of Labour’s northern branch office would be swiftly humiliated by their UK masters yet again.

And right on cue, the front-page lead of tomorrow’s Times:

timesteach

Try the fish, folks.

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mathew

Literally the ONLY people to use that hashtag was the Scottish Labour account themselves (And one other person who seemed to be talking about something else entirely?) as far as I could see, so good job on the social media strategy there, you fuds.

Dinnatouch

It seems election candidates aren’t allowed to have opinions now. Of course, that’s not a problem for Labour candidates.

Jingly Jangly

You could not make it up, I thought Ms McGarry handled it quite well on STV News tonight, she tried the party line about it  being part of a bigger conversation etc, but when she realised that was getting her no where she said she had made a mistake. Don’t know how labour will handle that, somebody being honest!!!

thomas

The first minister of northern ireland , peter robinson , runs into a belfast bar brandishing a gun shouting 
 
“who`s been screwing my wife?”
 
Voice from the back calls
 
“ye don`t have enough ammo mate!2

Jeannie

Not surprised that UK Labour are kicking teachers again.  That just tells me there’s an election coming up – and right on cue, they have a go at “bad teachers”.  They obviously think it plays well with the electorate and is good for a few votes. 

Cath

It speaks volumes that when Labour in Scotland demonstrate that they’ve been creepily screenshotting and keeping on file tweets of random SNP members (she certainly wasn’t a candidate at the time, so who else have they got in their database?) the media are happy to run with what they found as a story. A half decent media would see that kind of stalking of women who’re involved in politics as a story in itself and something that needs investigate. I certainly find it deeply sinister.

Dave McEwan Hill

O/T
I have just heard Sally Magnusson starting the BBC Scotland’s talking down of the Commonwealth Games on the Scottish News 

velofello

Do the maths. One teacher, two parents X 25(?) children in a class. = 50 parents plus one teacher with a vote. Are all parents loyally sympathetic to teachers and their grievances and so will be upset by Natalie McGarry two year old comments? Could be some parents will agree with her two year old comments.
 
Is the expose(!) of two year old mild comments by Natalie McGarrie damaging to her or damaging to a less than wholesome group who rummage through the past looking for “ammo”for their campaign? And damaging to a media that has lost their sense of raison d’être?

DaveyM

Hahaha! Oh, Labour.  

Dcanmore

Two year old tweet? Probably supplied by MI5 @GCHQ 

Heather McLean

I  would have thought that Labour voting against the SNP’s bill to provide free school meals to all primary 1-3 pupils earlier this week would be far more damaging to Labour than a couple of comments made 2 years ago by Natalie McGarry!
 
It seems that ex teacher and leader of the Labour party in Scotland, Johann Lamont can  make offensive comments, such as her ‘something for nothing culture’ statement with impunity! Strange how that is forgotten about and swept under the carpet?
 
Just when I thought  the Labour party in Scotland have plumbed the depths -they astound me with their new limbo dancing act!
Labour = totally despicable!

Jamie Arriere

Voters have been telling Labour to improve or face the sack for years. They didn’t listen, got the sack, but they’re still getting worse!

Patrician

As someone else said, you just couldn’t make this stuff up.  if you tried to write a book with these sort of setbacks as the plot, you would be quite rightly ridiculed for including such a series of ridiculous coincidences.

braco

Cath,
the real problem is that any ‘normal’ person, with any real history, along with real attitudes, will always be easily embarrassed by comparison with the political party PR men and middle ground policy manufacturer’s invented perfect parliamentary candidate. This does ensure easily malleable candidates though, that’s for sure.
 
Lack of personal experience, and so lack of experience of ever standing alone, is so much easier to manage. Easier that is, than the old messy method of ‘necessary’ social and professional blackmail, usually used on the ‘old school’ union, community or professional leaderships , so necessary to the dark powers of the celebrated Westminster Chief Whip.
 
Probably the reason Carmichael’s reputation as a political bruiser has, overnight, turned into what it has. He found he had no social, professional (or even party) political purchase and so suddenly, across the border, so obviously became the party political Yes man that a position like his has actually always required. Excepting of course the few wolves that see it for the real route to power that it so obviously is (‘you may think that, but I couldn’t possibly comment’).

Chic McGregor

“It seems election candidates aren’t allowed to have opinions now. Of course, that’s not a problem for Labour candidates.”
 
Heh heh! “You don’t like my opinion?  I’ve got other ones”   🙂
 
Or perhaps as Alex Salmond once gloriously quipped (paraphrasing from memory) “The trouble with Scottish Labour is that they say one thing in public, and another thing in public.”
 

boglestone

SLAB are pioneers, charting new, previously unimagined vistas of hypocrisy.

Chic McGregor

@thomas
 
LOL NWMS

joe kane

They did the same thing to local council SNP candidate Lyall Duff, who used intemperate language in describing two NHS Scotland midwives as “witches”. His Facebook comment was obviously kept on file to be deployed as ambush material at an appropriately sensitive political moment. I remember Scottish Labour types priding themselves on such tactics mentioning some piece of software that can be used to track down old internet comments. I think ‘Web Sheriff’ was mentioned.

Reference –
SNP council candidate Lyall Duff resigns after midwives row
13 Apr 2012
link to scotsman.com

Training Day

@Dave McEwan Hill

The BBC have been salivating all day over the withdrawal of an English athlete from the Commonwealth Games. Check out the online report from one Chris McLaughlin which dovetails with the Sally Magnusson piece.

There will be a sustained attack on the Games from the BBC from now until they begin.

Jamie Arriere

Aw naw, Jess Ennis is no’ coming – might as well call the whole thing off!
 
Jess Who? Heroes are always the ones who turn up!
 

braco

It’s only one more sad sign of lord mcOnnel’s view of Scotland’s position in the world. That is, well below a four yearly undemocratically decided, second tear, international sporting event. Referendum on independence for the first time in over 300 years? Think of the consequences! Some publicly funded athletes might be asked a personal opinion on the future of their chosen nation.
 
Oh sorry, Lady Di died didn’t she.

Angus

Speaking off topic, the Moridura blog has an excellent reminder of what will be a major issue in the last few months before the Referendum vote and the absolutely correct argument to put to undecideds and soft no types in the coming months.

“Vote no get nothing” really, absolutely nothing.

Here is the argument, more a proof than an argument as such.
 
link to moridura.blogspot.co.uk

msean

Doesn’t matter,only the clock and the finish line matter. If some don’t turn up, it gives someone else a platform to start out. Other athletes are available from other countries.

You may get to see new stars first.

Steve B

I live in the Cowdenbeath Constituency and my wife has received an “election communication” which included a “survey” wkith questions as to  attitudes on “breaking up Britain” and voting intentions. Unfortunately there seems to be no way of entering it on-line but the form does have a freepost address on it which means that SLAB will have to pay for every one posted back to them regardless if it’s filled in or not …
 
I can scan it and forward it on if anyone’s interested in passing on their views to JoLa at Labour’s expense – unless that’s a little too cheeky? 🙂

Ken500

How can Fifers be taken in by lying Labour/Unionists. The reason why some parts of Fife are in such social/economic decline is fifty years of Labour. Every word they utter is a lie. Illegal wars, gross incompetent mismanagenent of the economy. Just a bunch of crooks, some of them should be in jail, instead of troughing on the poor. Many have become multimillionaires betraying the poorer people. They have no shame.

Hulne refused permission for a CC project at Longannet in Fife,which could have revived economic activity in Fife, despite the funding being available. Coal is much cheaper than Gas. Westminster indecision lost Scotland the opportunity to apply for £Billion? EU Grant for Renewable energy.

Labour/Unionists have betrayed the working class. Don’t be taken in again and again and again.

Teacher get 10% more and are more qualified in Scotland. Everyone knows most do a good job. The SNP support teachers, schools and education. They have given funding to Education and are trying, under difficult circumstances (massive budget cuts from Westminster) to give teachers more support, have smaller class sizes and classroom assistants. Free school meals for P1 to P3. Continue to support no tuition fees and increased funding for poorer students, so more pupils get a chance of a University education. Scotland’s educational outcomes are the best in the UK. The Scottish education is world class. The Universities are world acclaimed in every innovation.

Westminster are ruining the education scheme in the rest of the UK. The ConDems lied about supporting Education and the NHS. The SNP have honoured their commitment to Education/NHS, in difficult circumstance of £Billions of unwarranted cuts by Westminster to the Scottish budget. A £1.3Billion cut a year since 2010, an increase of 11% (£2Billion) to 60 to 80% tax on the Oil industry a year. There is a reported loss of Oil revenues. Higher rates of tax on industry in Scotland than the rest of the UK. Multinationals (foreign) evading tax through the City of London, harming British industry.

Scotland’s wealth and resources have been misused by Labour/Unionists. since 1928. Westminster are trying to privatise education and the NHS. Don’t let them.

Ken500

Attacks on freedom of speech, media manipulation, NSA surveillance, illegal attacks on other poorer nations, the spin and doctoring of the truth. The support of right wing tax evading MSM. Control and manipulation of the MSM. Lying Labour/Unionists. Bankrupt Britain.

Ken500

Gordon Brown is making up bonus claims about the Scottish economy.

The 1/2 Billion EU contribution would come back in CAP, increased exports, and shared Defence costs. A neutral payment. Scotland receives the lowest CAP payment of any EU country because of Westminster governance. In recent negotiations, the EU gave Scotland (back) specific payments. Westminster took the funding illegally and distributed it to wealthier English farmers.

Scotland contributes £8Billion to Westminster including £1/2Billion EU contributions. What happens to the rest.

The Oil revenues have dropped because Osbourne/Alexander increased the Oil tax revenues 11% (£2) a year, to 60% to 80%, in the 2010 Budget. The Oil Companies/Producers cancelled Projects and stopped £Billions of investment. The Oil industry was just recovering from the 2008 recession. Osbourne/Alexander have lost £Billion of Scottish revenues. If they are not stopped
will destroy the Scottish economy, and cost Scotland thousands of jobs. Osbourne/Alexander are a disgrace, destroying Scottish industry. Just as Thatcher did.

The Oil Companies/Producers are investing again but it will take time to recover from Westminster’s total incompetence. The blatant arrogant, ignorance will cost Scotland £Billions.

Scrapping Trident will save Scotland £1.5Billion. Putting a tax on cheap ‘loss leading’ alcohol will save Scotland £1.5Billion a year in NHS and social costs. Saving to Scotland £3Billion etc, etc.

There is no black hole in Scotland’s finances, just incompetent ignorant interference from Westminster.

Vote SNP/YES

john king

Dcanmore says
“Two year old tweet? Probably supplied by MI5 @GCHQ ”
 
 
Probably, its more likely than a wee coven of Labour apparatchiks sitting in a dungeon somewhere sifting throw possible future SNP  candidates posts look for some dirt, jeez who can say they would have nothing they would rather not have brought up years later, its much more difficult to look at currently active  politico’s like oh I don’t know, off the top of my head Alex Rowley now what would be interesting about him  http://tinyurl.com/mkw59ry trouble is when these people are already in politics they are supremely careful not to say something that will come back to haunt them, if only we could find something on him hmmm.

I thought Bernard Ponsonsby’s menacing tone with McGarry was very aggressive “answer the question” while she’s on the hustings it smacked of bullying.

john king

SteveB says
“I can scan it and forward it on if anyone’s interested in passing on their views to JoLa at Labour’s expense – unless that’s a little too cheeky? ”
 
 
Go for it Steve, I live in the area so it would be reasonable for me to respond to that, catch you in qurantine. 🙂

Brian Mark

Brown= economic incompetence!

JLT

You couldn’t make it up!
 
Even on STV News at 6 last night, the interviewer badgered her constantly; ‘Did you say that? Did you say this?’ I sat there are just said ‘Just say ‘Yes.’ If you do that, folk will look at you and take you as someone who is not afraid to speak your mind, nor will you hide behind the party line. Stick to your guns! And the lass did just that …she said ‘Yes’ to all questions.
 
And then we get Scottish Labour. Seriously …you kind of wonder how this zombie party is still going. It shuffles along like a zombie, but I keep asking …’Who is voting for this mob?’ and the more serious question …’Why???

Alba4Eva

Some Saturday morning happiness for you all…

aldo_macb

Thanks Alba4evs for posting that video. I loved it. Brilliant memories of a great day at last year’s rally. 2014 rally should be amazing.

Alex Taylor

@Alba4eva
Loved that video, but it brought a tear as well as a Saturday smile!

Helena Brown

Steve B, did that not that long ago, gave a good old labour assumed name, did not want them contacting me, oh and refused point blank to tell them how I voted, Well I took up someone’s time and cost the BT campaign money and they seem to have oodles of that.

Jingly Jangly

John King
 
Ponsonsby stood as a Liberal at the Govan By Election pre lib dem days and lost his deposit!!!

We know where he is coming from, the day before on the same program, somebody and I cant remember if it was Ponsonsby but I don’t think so gave the Lib Dem candidate an even harder time over the bedroom tax.
 
We Shall see what happens when they interview the Labour Unionist Candidate….
 

Les Wilson

I like others say we NEED some important International body to monitor the bias of the MSM and their proxies, across all areas. I do not understand for the life of me why the SG would not request such a thing, as we the people, are totally fed up with all the lies, manipulation, undercover government involvement against us.
 
Is it not time the tactics of the Unionist MSM and Westminster are exposed? Do we not deserve to have an unbiased referendum, do we still want to win? So WHY THE HELL would we not want them held to account. Or do we just lay down and give up now? Of course not, but we do need some International body to ensure Scottish voters get unbiased information.
 
While YES is doing exceedingly well, however supporters still need a boost against the all the devious, and undemocratic plots of Westminster which are set to save the Unionist cause not democracy. So we need some suitable organisation to step in to ensure democracy reigns.

Weedeochandorris

@Alba4eva thank you very much, that was fantastic.  All the memories of a fabulous day came roaring back to the surface.  All the happy, smiling faces, the pride, the joy the enthusiasm -just how we want Scotland to be.  Onwards and upwards!

Wee Jonny

Had to go back there to check Johanns “Something for nothing” speech. I’m not going to get personal but can you imagine her being our F.M.?  I wonder if she’d stop with the torn puss as my granny used to say and smile. 

Dorothy Devine

Greetin’ and grinning – great day!
 
Can someone remind me what the band of bonny boys in kilts is called?

gerry parker

When is the next rally? I feel the need to let the media know what I think.

Wee Jonny

Alba4eva
Oof what a video. Had a wee tear in mi eh as Alex got that cheer. 
When’s the next rally?

X_Sticks

Alba4Eva – Really enjoyed that.
 
What a day that was. Can’t wait for this year’s rally. I suspect that it will be a monster as more people ‘come out’ for Yes. We’re on our way! 

CameronB

@ Les Wilson
Westminster has to request observers, the SG is powerless to do so. It’s completely mad, of course, but that is the hand we are playing with. Our role here, and on other pro-indie sites, is to undermine the official and unofficial No message as much as possible, and to share credible evidence supporting Yes, as widely as possible.
 
The unofficial No campaign, is of course Whitehall, so we are actually paying for a portion of the No campaign even if we support Yes. Now that is crazy, but that is British democracy. And don’t get me started on the BBC and their propaganda tax. 😉

MD

It’s possible that rather than saving the tweet at the time Labour simply paid Twitter for access to historic tweets and trawled through them for a negative comment. I don’t know but there may even be some companies specialising in this type of dirt-digging on behalf of political parties.

Alba4Eva

Wee Jonny… the next rally just has to be in Glasgow… from George square to Glasgow Green… its a must!

john king

@ me 
“sifting throw” 
 
eek 
 
I meant sifting through,
just don’t tell the rev for gods sake or I’ll propping up a support for the new forth bridge 🙁

ronnie anderson

Rev, keeping files on people, who might at some point riase to political position,s. There must be a BIG FILE on YOU. I seem to remember a cetain Housefrua & his Husband riaseing to become the General Director / Deputy Director of the C I A, ( names escape me ) but we have had them here in the UK, Lordy Lord Peter Mandelson, and many more, but there,s a lesson for us ALLL HERE, what we say today, will have a ROTTWIELER on your arse sometime in the future. BE AFFRAID, VERY AFFRAID. As I said the other Week, the Yes Of ALL Political view point,s should come together as one body, and show solidarity, that they are under one banner, all canvasing team,s should be made up,by people of all party,s & none. Happy posting,s lad,s lasses, keyboard,s are replaceable, OUR COUNTRY / OUR CHILDRE,s FUTURE,S ARE DEPENDANT ON US ALL.

Wee Jonny

Alba4eva
Ace. I’ll be there wherever it is. 
Ken500
brilliant. 

Grendel

Of course teachers are above reproach, especially if they have connections with the Labour Party…
link to labour25.com

Embradon

Thanks Alba4evs
I was talking, recently, to a former Labour supporter and soft “no”. She is now a confirmed “Yes” and pointed to BBC’s (lack of) coverage of the Rally as the turning point. She was so disgusted by their petulance that she started looking elsewhere and had her eyes opened.

Thanks Boothman – another Yes in the bag.

HandandShrimp

SLab’s big problem is that London never tells them what they are planning and consequently are frequently left high and dry. The fact that they are artless Muppets doesn’t help obviously.

proudscot

The archiving of future potential SNP candidates’ tweets and off the cuff remarks, has been described in some of the posts as “sinister”. I would go further and describe it as behaviour reminiscent of the former East German STASI. It is often stated that this modern Labour Party has no shame, it now seems to have no morals either!

Linda's Back

Ken500 at 7,40 am
I see The Heralds is promoting Gordon Brown’s economic forecasts on oil revenues.
 This economic guru’s intervention reminds me of the old joke.
(a)   Which world class economist sold 20% of its nation’s gold reserves at $1474 an ounce?
(b)   Which tyrant sold 60% of its nation’s gold at $275 an ounce?
The answer my friend is (a) Gaddafi and (b) his pal Gordon Brown
 
GORDON BROWN did not save the World
He is largely responsible for the UK recession
 
He decided to FULLY tax pension funds in 1997. We now see the results with pensions taxed both as they are invested and then again when they are paid out! Only Gordon Brown could have thought of that and we now see the results with lower payouts for pensioners!
 
He decided IN 2007 to DOUBLE the income tax rate for low earners from 10% to 20%. We now have a complicated and costly system of benefits introduced by the great control freak to try to compensate for his lack of foresight.
 
He FAILED to introduce any form of regulation over the ‘wheelers and dealers’ in the City of London, a select few who become very rich on multi-million pound salaries and bonuses. These were gained by taking investment risks with other people’s savings and pension funds and helped bring down some previously solid businesses. What kind of financial ‘prudence’ is that from Gordon Brown?
 
He FORCED the unwelcome takeover of HBOS by making the financial rescue package (using our money) for Lloyds TSB and HBOS a condition of the deal. We have now lost the independent Bank of Scotland and numerous job losses to come.
 
He PROMISED an end to ‘boom and bust’. Some promise, or does he now claim: ‘ It was Nothing to do with me, gov.’?
 
He INCREASED many indirect stealth taxes such as on insurance premiums and airport travel. We were not supposed to notice them, unlike the small and temporary VAT reduction he trumpeted from the rooftops?

He has CREATED the biggest government debt ever, with more to come with multi-billion pound upgrades to Trident nuclear weapons in the pipeline.

HandandShrimp

Hunt’s “blame it all on bad teachers” is a surprisingly Tory stance. Once again New Labour position themselves to the right of Attlia the Hun to woo middle England. UKIP winning two council seat by-elections on Thursday night no doubt convincing them that this is the way to go.

ronnie anderson

Alba4eva, 100% agree with you, other tha n George Sq, to Glas Green . Taking a leaf out of the Orange Order book of marches. Several rally marshalling point,s ie, BBC/STV/Daily Rec, then George Sq/Glas Green, As with the O O it could start in your/our own TOWN,S CITY,S allover SCOTLAND, So whose,s up for a orginizing committee.

Alba4Eva

Ronnie… we will need a big enough open space to gather for over 100,000 folk.  

Folk have the right to peacefully march… nothing to do with sectarian abominations. ;o)

ronnie anderson

Alba4 eva, my point is, Organization not ( Sectairionism ) marshalling from differant point,s to the final Rally point, let,s people see how many of their fellow Scot,s feel. Do not take my post as in any way Sectarian, I am not. read the post. Bbc/Stv/DR.

muttley79

It looks like the MSM are pushing Brown to replace Darling.  Building him up in the Herald.  We were told that Carmichael was a bruiser and now he is talking about quitting politics!  We were also told by the MSM that Darling was a match for Salmond (according to Tom Gordon anyway).  Brown is still talking about social justice in today’s Herald, despite the gap between rich and poor widening under New Labour.  More promises of Jam Tomorrow.  Apparently we should be given more powers over health WTF! 

Aidan

Alba4Eva
That video captures the day. It triggered an exhilarating rush of memories, even some tears, and made hope shine in me as brightly as it can.

Paul Kelly

There is absolutely nothing “rather” creepy about SLAB. Would anyone leave Anas Sarwar, Ian Davison or James Kelly in charge of their children? 

David McCann

As one Clackmannanshire Labour Councillor once famously said “We will go through the SNPs budget proposals with a fine toothbrush” I see that they have been employing the toothbrush again in Cowdenbeath!!.
One thing the Labour party are good at, is opening their mouths and putting their collective feet in.

Fin

Don’t know why people are mentioning a ‘database’ of potential candidates etc. Twitter allows you to just go back through the timeline of anyone back to their first ever tweet. So no need for any fancy spy tech/database.


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