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Wings Over Scotland


Posted on January 02, 1968 by

For off-topic chat. Duh.

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    1. cearc says:

      I hope you all have a great time tomorrow. Just don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, apart from dancing. Do lots of dancing to make up for me not being able to!

      Grandchildren on the way from the airport will be here within the hour. First 3 incubator chicks just transferred to a cage for their benefit, a few more on the way.

      See youse all soon.

    2. Archie (not Erchie) says:

      I have a big flag pole, room for a Wings flag if anybody has a spare one tomorrow.

    3. Smallaxe says:

      We’re leaving now for Glasgow, see you all tomorrow.

      “Hold On I’m Coming”

      Smallaxe has left the building.

    4. Jason Smoothpiece says:

      Hope plenty of folk manage to the march tomorrow. Hope to meet some wingers over there.

    5. cearc says:

      Archie (not Erchie),

      Hey, long time no see on the threads. Glad you’re going, have fun.

    6. Dave McEwan Hill says:

      Utter disgrace. Time the Express got onto this issue. Since the SNP came into power in 2007 about 670,000 people in Scotland have died. What is Nicola Sturgeon doing about this?
      Shall be mentioning this disgrace on my radio slot tonight…..and the big march.

    7. Fred says:

      “Comin Down the Road!”

    8. The Wasp says:

      I stood in a queue in the Alloa RBS branch this morning for nearly 25 minutes. I stood in a queue in the same branch for over 20 minutes last week. The branch is shutting. There is no sense in that move, and the staff have been told not to speak about the situation. I despair.

    9. Highland Wifie says:

      Walking shoes- check.
      Water bottle – check.
      Saltire- check.
      Bus ticket – check.
      Happy face – check.

      Looking forward to tomorrow and meeting some folks.

    10. Archie (not Erchie) says:

      @ cearc: oh Ive been lurking and taking it all in. Time to spread the word again ๐Ÿ˜‰

    11. Capella says:

      Bus ticket booked for tomorrow. Planning to get there if it takes me all day – which it will. I don’t want to miss the big day. Hope to meet up with you at the Wings tent.

    12. Thepnr says:

      @Archie (not Erchie)

      I have a Wings flag for you and very happy for you to have it if you’re going to be waving it all about ๐Ÿ™‚

      I doubt there is any chance of meeting you before the march starts so you will have to pick it up from Ronnie Anderson at the Wings stall in the Green.

      I should be hanging about too but just in case ask Ronnie.


      Glad to hear you will make it after all, well done ๐Ÿ™‚

    13. Capella says:

      @ Thepnr – thx – will get there about 11 so hope to catch up with the last bit of the march. Will look out for the Wings stall at the Green.

    14. Thepnr says:

      Something that I hope will put you in a good mood for the march in Glasgow tomorrow. Let’s have a good time, we’re still young as long as we think we are ๐Ÿ™‚

      This is GREAT.

    15. Thepnr says:

      Hope your pulling up the laces on those hiking boots.

    16. Michael McCabe says:

      Gutted I cant be there on the March today. Hope you all have a great day though.

    17. Thepnr says:

      This one is a special request for Liz g and her daughters dog Radar that I met today at the Green. Was a good day enjoy the tune ๐Ÿ™‚

    18. Liz g says:

      Thank you Thepnr, that was great,and very appropriate. LOL
      What’s in a name eh!
      Aren’t we being cryptic……..

    19. pete the camera says:

      Hi all that were at Glasgow green good to see you all, and thanks to Jock for making sure I caught a taxi from the Clutha to the train station

    20. Thepnr says:

      Still having a good night in Glasgow after a very good day. I thought or a song for a new friend I met today, that was K1.

      Here’s your tune K1 ๐Ÿ™‚

    21. X_Sticks says:

      @pete the camera

      Great to see you yesterday Pete – along with all the other wingers too many to mention, but I thought you’d like this wee video of the Yes bikers with Pete strolling along taking in the sights!

      What a braw day – only wish I could have stayed over and partied on in the Clutha with all you lovely folks. Ach, well, next time!

    22. Jock Scot says:

      Hi Pete, hope you got home ok. Cheers Oatcakes for a place to crash and for a change not having to pelt up to the station from the Clutha. Shame aboot the early departure Cactus and cheers to Alex for confirming that I do indeed snore. Hats off to everyone else who gallantly helped to make lots of dosh for the next crack ‘n’ smack party.

    23. Betty Boop says:

      What a great day. Love working in the park amongst a’ these happy folk.

      Apologies that JimT and moi, and Annie, Irene and Brian didn’t get much of a chat with a lot of the visitors to the stall. We were on “piece work” fur a hard gaffer ;-). Nae sittin’ doon for us, ye ken ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Sorry, didn’t get to The Clutha; visited son after the park and were a bit sair; auld legs LOL.

      Seriously, a really inspiring day. See y’ll next time round.

    24. Betty Boop says:

      A word for Mr Ronnie Anderson. Ronnie is a national treasure. No, that disnae mean he should be in a museum! He’s really a big sweetie, but, ye’ve no’ tae tell onybody. Works his socks off for Scotland and Wings and will help wi’ any gazebo building or dismantling on the park – jist dae as yer telt! ๐Ÿ™‚

    25. Thepnr says:

      @Jock Scot

      Well what can I say?

      No doubt I talked too much already due to the comapny I was in. Big thanks to Quine frae Angus for putting up and for putting up with me ๐Ÿ™‚

      Thanks to for Jock Scot and Ruglonian for the great “discussions” which were in no way “arguments” LOL.

      Your meant to get wiser as you get older but I’ve found out that this is not true, I got a roll an sausage kindly made for me this morning by the Quine frae Angus.

      Delicious and was just what I needed then she asks me “how did you enjoy the Vegan sausages and I’m like what? I’m a carnivore that was meat, please tell me that was meat.

      It wasn’t so that’s a first and I’m all the better for it ๐Ÿ™‚

    26. pete the camera says:

      Good one X_sticks I walked down the street with the bikers and could not believe how many there were as they just kept coming wonder if anyone knows how many rode past, and I should have thanked Jim T for the lift to the Clutha and Betty Boop for giving up her lift.
      And we all must thank Ronnie as Betty has said for without his input over the weeks prior to the event the Wings stall would never have been so popular being so well stocked and run

    27. Quinie frae Angus says:

      Oh what an amazing day and night that was, marching along in such cheery cameraderie with so many Yessers and Wingers. Thanks for the company of Jock Scot, Donna Babington and Cactus as we ambled along the route, scooping up Ian Brotherhood and Alex Thepnr from the pub along the way. Then getting to Glasgow Green and spending the rest of the day hinging aboot the Wings stall, pauchling nips of the Old Pulteney raffle prize, courtesy of Big Ronnie Anderson (but don’t tell anybody this, it was supposed to be a secret and could be construed to be a secret cabal of dodgy Wingers misappropriating donated Wings funds).

      The happy hubbub was punctuated by thrilling beats from the Sikhs for Yes drummers, and the exciting roar of the Yes Bikers as they thundered by. Even the packing up of the Wings stall at the end was a laugh, under Ronnie’s expert supervision. Who knew there was a set method and a cheeky hidden wee button to press to take down a gazebo correctly?

      Topped off by a lovely evening drinking pints of cider in the sun outside the Clutha bar, and a long evening of “discussion” and more beers back at chez Quinie. Glad you enjoyed your veggie sausages, Alex, these will help ease your Sunday bowel movements – and an added bonus is that I’ve found your specs down the side of my couch. Heh heh.

      New people I am delighted to have met in the flesh, at long last, included Smallaxe, K1, Lindsay Bruce, Macart, Blaze and Loach frae Skye and their Dad. Other old friends I glimpsed fleetingly but didn’t get a chance to speak to: Capella, Betty Boop and Irene King.

      Feels so good, so comforting, and so motivating to feel the Yes movement stirring again in such a positive and determined fashion. A movement in which Wings and the Wingers are very much a key part, and have been since the very start.

      Love you all and looking forward to the next event already.

    28. Quinie frae Angus says:

      I forgot to mention Gillian Ruglonian who did such a power of work at the Yes Rutherglen stall and who I think (if my hazy memory serves me correctly) purchased a bottle of whisky for the after-hours lock-in. Unfathomably this has remained unopened, so I intend to keep this and throw it in to the next Wings stall event as a “Raffle prize” (heh heh) along with a string of polystyrene cups….just to stiffen our resolves and Ronnie Anderson’s “reserves”…..

    29. Smallaxe says:

      Smallaxe Says:
      What a day.

      Back home after an incredible day yesterday. I met plenty of people whose names that I can now put a face to, like Macart, Capella, Quine frae Angus, Highland Wifie, Betty Boop and many old friends such as (in no particular order), Tinto Chiel whose indelible โ€˜Cerise Blushโ€™ lipstick Iโ€™m still trying to remove from my shirt, Thepnr, Ian Brotherhood, Brian DTT, Hackalumpoff, XSticks, Cactus and my good friend K1.

      My apologies if I have left anyone out but it was just such an overwhelmingly wonderful day full of smiles and hugs from everyone I met, I have no doubt that some of us will meet at the march in Dumfries on the 2nd of June, bring your smiles and hugs with you, Iโ€™ve got plenty more to give and receive when I next meet you all.

      Lots of good speeches and music, tens of thousands of happy friendly people from all walks of life, tens of thousands more who were with us in spirit. Love and Peace was the order of the day for all of us who want Scotland to regain Her independence. I was proud to be amongst such good people.

      Finally, the self-effacing Ronnie Anderson who says he is only a cog in a much larger wheel. A cog he may be, but that large wheel would be turning much more slowly without Ronnieโ€™s indefatigable stamina and his โ€™soft smooth voice gentlyโ€™ guiding all the generous volunteers who gave up so much of their own time to help out.
      (Send my cut of the takings to the usual P.O.Box, Ronnie)

      Namaste, my friends.
      (The Spirit within me bows to the Spirit within you)

    30. K1 says:

      I can only reiterate what we are all saying about yesterday, just a wonderful day, I didn’t do the march but arrived a bit later (caught up in the traffic, aye and ah wis wan o’ those drivers smiling and giving thumbs up as our paths criss crossed across the city ๐Ÿ˜‰ )

      So happy to have finally met some very familiar names on Wings…in no order whatsoever; Tinto (you suited the grunge ma dear, your sartorial pick was just right fir the weather ๐Ÿ˜‰ ), Quinie, Highland Wifie, so glad you got home safe :-), the cool Cactus, Thpnr…loved your energy yesterday Alex, so upbeat and thank you for introducing me to Lizg…or as I call her ma fellow Cyberthug, wis like lookin’ in the mirror ;-). Macart, great pleasure to finally shake your hand. Capella :-), Ruglonian and XSticks. Lovely to see Crazycat, Bdtt and Pete the Camera again and of course Ronnie…who was very busy on this stall. But of course, the best to last to meet ma friend Smallaxe, that dapper gent wi the two tone shoes….’wottaguy’ right enough Tinto ๐Ÿ˜‰

      If I missed anyone out I’m sorry…great day, great people, we’re on our way.

    31. Cactus says:

      Heiding oot tae the West Endies for further entertainment…

      Glasgow style.

      Oh what a weekend! A cheers to all the groovy Wingers x.

    32. Ian Brotherhood says:

      What a great day that was.

      After a couple of cans last night, thinking back on all the good pals I met and the new ones made, felt like this:

      Al Green, ‘Love & Happiness’ –

    33. Fred says:

      Sorry to have missed U at the stall Smallaxe, choking efter the march so started at the Braemar Bar! Tinto ditto!

    34. Tinto Chiel says:

      Sorry I seem to have missed so many Wingers I had not met before but we really have to get a team foatie taken in future. Huge thanks to Big Ronnie, BDTT and “The Girls” for their efforts on the stall and generally.

      @Smallaxe: FGS, it was Fuchsia Flush and acetone is your friend for that, mon vieux. Adding those two-tones of yours to my spring collection.

      @K1: amen to all that. It was really great to meet yourself and Macart at last and have a natter, however short. I’ve been thinking about some of your wise comments and may communicate my thoughts to the Prince of Palermo.

      Fred: don’t know how we managed to miss each other but we’ll discuss those place-names later, I hope.

      I got quite emotional on the march at times seeing all the wee kids in the column and on the pavements and wondering what kind of Scotland they would see. I think that’s what keeps the oldsters like me going.

      Glad in a way the SH has exposed itself as a Yoonsheet. That photo on the front page really shows it up. The change of editor has really worked from our point of view.

    35. hackalumpoff says:

      I see Nana is back on MT. PNR told me that Ronnie paid the ransom for her release with some of the takings from the stall.

      Sadly, after the Clutha shenanigans there wasn’t enough to pay Rev Stu to release heedtracker.

      Lookout for a scandal about Wings cash in the Sun next week.

      As the PNR says follow the money!

    36. Fred says:

      @ Tinto, the Polis should have shoved the fascists 100 yards back from the march or collared the lot!

    37. Ian Brotherhood says:

      Just asked Jabberwocky to play Gil Scott-Heron and he did, within minutes!

      First time I’ve ever had a song played on ‘radio’ and he’s playing some great stuff I’ve never ever heard. In a way it’s like the sessons we have here, but without all the bother of copying links etc.

    38. Tinto Chiel says:

      Och, Fred, they were just ugly wee trogs and they contrasted beautifully with all the righteous on the march. I’ve seen a lot worse at the fitba’ when the SoW come to call.

      Folk have to see the reality of these types and draw their own conclusions. The young shilpit ones down on Clyde Street looked a bit more dangerous IMO but they were well confined by the Poleis (for all Gaelic haters).

    39. crazycat says:

      Like everyone else, I had a great time renewing auld acquaintances and making new ones yesterday – and as ever missed a few people I’d have liked to meet. Good to see you all.

      There’s always Dumfries:
      Ian posted on the main thread about transport. Yes East Ayrshire very briefly discussed the possibility of hiring a minibus. If there were takers further afield, that would make it more viable.

      We can be contacted via the shop at 31C Titchfield Street, Kilmarnock KA1 1QW, on Facebook and Twitter or YesEastAyrshire [at] gmail [dot] com.

      Then we can assess the idea.

    40. Liz g says:

      K1.@ 7.34
      It was so lovely to finally meet ye K1, us Cyberthugs must indeed co-ordinate,and I hope we meet again soon and often.
      Cyberthuggery takes plannin!

      Thanks Alex for introducing me to K1, and for your efforts to help me find Smallaxe, although we didn’t manage it, (next time Smallaxe my friend)
      I did get to meet your lovely better half and the pup,which was fantastic,as it’s always great to meet a fellow “dog lover”.
      ….. …….
      As everyone was sayin a great day,met Gerry Parker before we even set off, Alex, Cactus, Quinie Fae Angus and Morag on the way…then at the Green too many to mention,and even then so many I missed.
      Thanks to all the hard workers on the stalls, a long day for you guy’s, but you did the movement proud.
      And a special thanks to a –Ronnie Sumbidy — for all his efforts… and,well,…
      Cause he’s the wan wi money… apparently..

    41. K1 says:

      Naebdy even commented oan ma alliteration…’criss crossed across the city’ wis (f)artful ๐Ÿ™‚

    42. Thepnr says:


      I jist didnae get it ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚ You need to give me a clue.

    43. K1 says:

      Ah wis driving tae the Green, and as I realised I was behind the march, changed route, so as I attempted tae weave my way down I kept crossing paths wi the march itself ergo ‘our paths ‘criss crossed across the city’. ๐Ÿ™‚

    44. K1 says:

      Saying ‘criss crossed across the city’ is a moothful…say it oot loud. But it’s good alliteration on the page. ;-), oh I”ve just commented on ma alliteration…that’ll do me ๐Ÿ™‚

    45. Liz g says:

      Were ye discombobulated at all?
      Dinnie flash ye were amongst freens the hale time..

      But remember.. The pedal that work’s the metal is no as in control as the sweetie that’s in the seattie?
      Cyberthug central out!!

    46. K1 says:

      Ah know ye meant fash…though the temptation is strong tae flash. ๐Ÿ˜‰

      The seed that is in the pumpkin is no as comfy as the pad that is in the cushion?

      Read…and understood.


    47. Smallaxe says:

      R.E.M. “Shiny Happy People” (Live, 1991)

      AUOB, Shiny Happy People (Live, 5/5/2018)

    48. Thepnr says:


      Didn’t manage to make it to see you as planned on Saturday night. Sorry but I allowed myself to be waylaid by all those shiny happy people in the Clutha.

      I was so shiny and happy myself that I just wanted it to keep going and it did for quite a bit ๐Ÿ™‚

    49. Smallaxe says:


      Not a problem, Alex. I had a large glass of Remy Martin and then collapsed into bed, tired but delighted at the thousands of people who marched on Saturday. We’ll meet again soon.

      The Moody Blues:”Lovely To See You Again My Friend”;

    50. Cactus says:

      Hey sunny Scotland, it’s been a looooong weekend and still is, still in the West Endies, everything’s on topic right now, cause now is the time, burp!

      Go Glasgow!

    51. yesindyref2 says:

      So basically speaking while they all chow down to bully beef and baked beans because they’re not worth any more, and get their next thrilling lecture about tactics from Noddy with Big Ears doing the slide show, no offence to either of them, it’s interesting to see the latest focus of attack is on the Wings stall which underlines its importance in providing a focus, material, a meeting place and a social reinvigoration for YES, congrats to those who started it probably funding it out their own pockets.

      Got to admit being a bit of a cynic at times well I have supported Indy for 46 years after all you need a thick skin, I’m gobsmacked by this march, the dedication of those who attended and organised it and the reactions “out there”.

    52. Fred says:

      Well said kid, a gobsmacking march. We are the people!

    53. Brian Doonthetoon says:

      Well, I flaked out last night after I’d caught up with the WOS comments and never ate my kebab (from Corfu, the best kebab emporium in Dundee) so it’s on the menu for tonight. Thus I didn’t get to post a comment last night.

      Saturday was phenomenal. As the front of the march came into the Green, I took a daunder up towards the Nelson monument for a better view. As I watched the sea of Saltires coming down the road in the park, I got the shiver down the back. “Phenomenal”, I said out loud to myself.

      I reckon it took an hour and 20 minutes for the entire march to get into the Green. I was telling peeps to go to the road bhind the WOS stall and then look down the road – it was a sea of Saltires for ages.

      Sorry to miss Ian B but did reacquaint with various Wingers, althought I couldn’t always put a name to the face.

      Must mention Tartanpigsy – his crowdfunder in 2014 (10,000 flags for YES) was one of the major tools in the increase in the YES vote towards the vote in September.

      Last year, at Glasgow Green, because he couldn’t get down himself, he got a pal to drop off a pile of YES car stickers at the WOS stall – much appreciated and dispersed.

      A word about WOS stall finances.
      EVERYONE who helped out on the stall was made aware of the takings and what was happening with them. If you want to know the figures, GET INVOLVED! Don’t sit sniping from the WINGS…

      Hope to see y’all in Dumfries – and Inverness. (Don’t know about Bannockburn ‘at the merment”…

    54. Thepnr says:

      @Brian Doonthetoon

      A word about WOS stall finances.
      EVERYONE who helped out on the stall was made aware of the takings and what was happening with them. If you want to know the figures, GET INVOLVED! Donโ€™t sit sniping from the WINGSโ€ฆ

      Very well said Brian. Cheers from an adopted Dundonian ๐Ÿ™‚

    55. Brian Doonthetoon says:

      Hi Alex.

      You typed,
      “Cheers from an adopted Dundonian”

      So’s Lorraine Kelly, so you’re in good company!

    56. Smallaxe says:

      See you in Dumfries, Brian.

      Four Tops:”It’s The Same Old Song”

    57. Macart says:


      Likewise. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Had a ball. Just wished I could’ve stayed on for the bash.

    58. Brian Doonthetoon says:

      In my comment last night, I forgot to type…

      A big hello to the lurkers I met on Saturday! Come in – the water’s fine!


    59. yesindyref2 says:

      There’s a couple of posters in the H’ald I always hit the quote button because they change their original posting after a reply rather than admit they were wrong. Just added another to the list, and he even compounded his error by later saying he’d made the change to “clarify” it, whereas it was just plain wrong the first time, hence actually admitting he’d made the change. So he basically admitted he changed it without the usual decent thing of either putting at the end something like “edit: changed should to should not!” or whatever – plus maiking a quick posting in reply to whoever “sorry, changed above as it was wrong”. And kept going trying to pretend my reply was to the amended version! Another thing he said was I denied something which I didn’t even bother addressing, so another thing to do is make it clear I’m only commenting on the one bit I’m commenting on.

      So there you go, you learn something new every day. Not important at the moment “now is not the time”, but techniques need honing for the big battle ahead! This poster by the way is a frequent one with lists of prepared stuff I haven’t bothered with normally, can’t be bothered doing the research, this was just his first sentence which implied something vital, whereas it was actually a bit interesting if the truth had been told to start with – not something some of the worst unionists do right enough. By the way cleaning caches (I use ccleaner) saves money I never paid in the first place, ‘cept for the odd couple of pro-Indy SH paper ones when it was pro-Indy quite a long time ago and over the hills and far away. Puck that for a game of soldiers.

      Don’t worry if you didn’t read this, I’m just wittering on before finally hitting the pit after another all-nighter. Highlights for me though the old saying “And the Truth shall set you free” – an advantage unionists just don’t have over us independentistas. For many of then their only tool IS lies or at least misrepresentation. Which is why it’s vital we don’t do the same, even accidentally. And why at times Indy people get pissed off with me “correcting” them. Please, if I puck up do the same to me. Or tell me to puck opp.

      Mmm, night night, sleep tight, don’t let SiU bite. They’re really not very good at this trolling stuff all the same, complete amateur dunderheids in fact. Good for a laugh!

    60. Fred says:

      The Glasgow Herald used to be an organ of some standing tae!

    61. K1 says:

      The 2 guys constantly looking to the ‘Fat cunt’ shouting guy, how sad to ‘look up’ to that angry wee guy? Is that your role model in life, is that a man…standing on a street shouting about Fenians, fat cunts, poofs and faggots?

      No. It’s a sad ignorant bigot wi very low educational input…fear is what I see in their faces, acting like ‘hard men’, but really just wee scared boys inside.

    62. Ian Brotherhood says:

      @BDTT –

      Sorry to have missed you – that’s mibbe first time we’ve not crossed paths at one of these things.



    63. Brian Doonthetoon says:

      Hi IanB.

      I used to have a pair of dumfries but the @ยฎ$โ‚ฌ wore out and I had to get myself a new red jacket, to cover the gap.

    64. crazycat says:

      @ Ian B – if you’re still here:

      apparently there is now a post up on Yes East Ayrshire’s Facebook page about the possibility of a bus to Dumfries. If you don’t have a Facebook account (I don’t), there are other ways of contacting us that I listed above.

    65. ronnie anderson says:

      I can’t commit to the Bannockburn March as I might not be available awaiting on a cataract op , but theres nothing stopping other Wingers from doing it Gizbos here as is the stock .

    66. Smallaxe says:

      For AUOB Saturday 5/5/2018;

      “For a’ that, an’ a’ that,
      It’s coming yet for a’ that”
      Rab the Ranter

    67. Tinto Chiel says:

      WOTS is that the Wings stall is undergoing a rebranding for Dumfries after the success of Saturday:

      Love the CND shirt at the start.

    68. Smallaxe says:


      I’ll loan you that CND shirt if you like it so much, even although everybody knows that you’re too sexy for a shirt. Maybe you would look better in my old tie-dyed cheesecloth sarong that I used to wear while I blackleaded the grate.
      Let me know what your preference is.


    69. Tinto Chiel says:

      You, can’t go wrong with a sarong, Smallaxe, imo, although the fashion conscious in my neck of the woods often cry it a lungi.

      Combined with organic hemp espadrilles and a heliotrope Glengarry it gets the heads turning, particularly amongst The Laydees d’un certain age.

      BTw, got that itching powder for Mundell’s breeks in Tam Shepherd’s last Sats. Will drone down/be in touch.

    70. Smallaxe says:

      I prefer the green organic hemp, preferably Sativa as the Indica can make me a tad lazy.

      How and soever, either strain will turn the heads of the Laydees, particularly those who had the good fortune to live through the 1960s and can’t remember much about it, or so they insist!

      “Jamaican Rhapsody”

    71. Tinto Chiel says:

      Chust sublime, sublime.

      I’m warming to your theme, Smallaxe old fruit.

    72. Smallaxe says:

      By Jove, you’ve got it!

      Herb… is a plant;

      Unless you get caught by the polis? Then you may have to swear on the book that has this passage in it;

      โ€œI give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the groundโ€”everything that has the breath of life in itโ€”I give every green plant for food.โ€ And it was so.


    73. Tinto Chiel says:

      The air’s getting a bit thick in here. Haven’t had as much fun since K1 outed my quiff:

      (signed) Vlad The Inhaler.

      Oh, look, pixies!

    74. Tinto Chiel says:

      I was just going to say, “It’s like looking in a mirror!”

    75. Ian Brotherhood says:

      @Crazycat –

      Very kind of you, thanks. Will probably make a day of it and take the family, so we’ll drive. See you there I hope!


    76. Smallaxe says:

      Hi Ian,

      Driving down the Highway?

      See you there.

    77. Michael McCabe says:

      Hi Smallaxe. That Aly bain turns up everywhere so he does

    78. Michael McCabe says:

      Smallaxe there is a picture on my wall too.

    79. Michael McCabe says:

      Smallaxe there is a Picture on my wall as well.

    80. Michael McCabe says:

      Smallaxe we’re they selfies

    81. Ian Brotherhood says:

      @Smallaxe –

      You’ll be more familiar than most of us with Dumfries – do you reckon it can handle a major influx on June 2nd? Raised this with TC earlier – may have to get there early-doors to get parking…

      It’s no big deal anyway – more important that we get a significant turnout. It won’t make the national ‘news’, aye, that’s a given, but it’ll be big for the local papers and who knows what knock-on that could have in the tea-shops, pubs and care-home social rooms in the folowing weeks?

      We’ll have to be on our very bestest behaviour!

      ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ˜‰

    82. Smallaxe says:


      I put some links in for you but I think maybe I overdid it a bit, it’s in moderation and I’m waiting on hammers.

    83. Ian Brotherhood says:

      @Smallaxe –

      It’s alright brother, ahm not that hungry anyway…had a cocaine pizza earlier.


    84. Michael McCabe says:

      Smallaxe that is her from the valleys right.

    85. Smallaxe says:

      Wrong, Michael, it’s this one;

    86. Michael McCabe says:

      Smallaxe Lily and Rose well I will add in mary and raise you the jack of Hearts. Goodnight my friend catch you later on today.

    87. Smallaxe says:

      Goodnight Michael, it’s after midnight;

    88. Smallaxe says:

      Tina Turner: “Sarvesham Svastir Bhavatu” (Peace Mantra);

    89. William Wallace says:

      @ Sma

      Do you no bide near Dumfries? I ken you’re in that region somewhere. I’m thinking aboot bringing the caravan up for the Dumfries gathering and taking a wee holiday with significant other and the wee man at the same time. I was wondering if you could recommend any really nice caravan sites nearby.

      I’ve looked at a few toward the Solway coast area but, was wondering if there are any others nearer Dumfries that you know of (so I can be easily picked up after a few bevvies later that night ๐Ÿ˜‰ ).

      Sorry I missed you all at Glasgow gathering. I couldn’t pub it as I had to drive later in the day. I’m hoping third times the charm. ๐Ÿ™‚

    90. Smallaxe says:

      Hi William,

      I live about 15mls outside Dumfries in Gretna, the Hoddom Castle site below has always been good and it is also licenced (I used to have a house on the estate) but if you want to be closer to Dumfries then have a look at the ones below.
      You are welcome in my home at any time, remember.

    91. Smallaxe says:

      Can (GOX) Gรถksun:”Wrong Side Of The Road”

    92. Brian Doonthetoon says:

      I think I may have posted this info before but, what the help, It came into my head tonight, for some reason.

      It was released as single around 1974. I thought it was a rather decent treatment of the song. Of course, because I liked it, and bought it, it was never a hit.

      Here’s his background…

    93. Michael McCabe says:

      Evening Smallaxe the bright side of the road Van the man.

    94. Smallaxe says:

      Hi Brian,
      That’s a new one on me, first time I’ve heard it sung like that but I can see why you bought it.

      Hi Michael,

      Here’s some Meatloaf for the road;

    95. hackalumpoff says:

      Michael McAbe, Smalaxe, BDTT, etc. If you can make the time listen to this compilation from John Prine, similar to Van the man but less sax etc.
      Some good anti-war-age- etc stuff.
      He must be a definite yesser.

    96. Smallaxe says:

      Thanks, Hackalumpof: I deducted an F because you left me short of an L up there^,
      That’s going on to my playlist for later.

      Meanwhile, On the Road Again;

    97. hackalumpoff says:

      Humble apologies for the missing L – a wee tester; try and spot the missing “L”ink in the morning from her indoors, as Arfur said.

      ps wish I could do emojii pix on this text box might make more sense.

      I AM –

      time fur bed.

    98. Smallaxe says:

      Goodnight, Hackalumpoff,

      I’m not surprised at how you feel, in Days Like This;

    99. hackalumpoff says:

      Smallaxe@ 11:52 pm
      Still here, That was the the song that got me back to Van the man after having had VM banished by the loons in their hearing !

      I was working on a new build power station, around 2000, in NI and heard it on local radio, in the most greasy of greasy spoons site canteens waiting for a Bacon Bap (Monster Bacon Roll to us but just a wee fry on a roll to them) LOL

      I think he wrote it for the Good Friday Agreement when Clinton came to visit Belfast.

      Saw him about 10 times since and the b*gg^r never cracks a light to the audience. Except, one time in Dublin when a Canadian called him out to sing “Listen to The Lion” and he did it !


    100. Smallaxe says:

      I’ve heard that he can come across as thrawn, to put it mildly, I first heard him when I was camping below the Cobbler up at loch long, Arrochar.
      I was about 14 or 15 yrs old and sitting in a small tent in the pissing rain at 1 am with two mates when ‘Them’ came on the transistor radio with this;

    101. yesindyref2 says:

      @William Wallace
      There’s a nice one at Sandyhills on the coast, about 12 miles south and a bit west round the coast road which is quite quiet apart from rush hour when it’s a wee bit busier. Sandy beach, small camp shop, bigger one at Colvend or New Abbey. Don’t know what facilities it has. Mmm

      A Morrisons in Dumfries.

    102. Fred says:

      Guys, very sad outcome to the missing musician from “Frightened Rabbit!”

    103. Nana says:

      Very sad news this morning. RIP Scott

    104. Brian Doonthetoon says:

      A double-barrelled comment from me tonight, to keep yooz goin’.

      Saw this retweet on the WOS Twitter page,

      and, funnily enough, it reminded me of this…

    105. Brian Doonthetoon says:

      Other barrel…

      Another single from 1974 that I liked, bought and caused it to fail.

      He did have a hell of a voice though. This is, probably, the single that he is most known for:-

    106. Ian Brotherhood says:

      @Smallaxe/TC et al –

      The mother-in-law (this isn’t a joke) is very highly strung at the best of times but she’s moving home soon and has been preparing for months so she’s ultra-stressed. My missus got her some hemp oil from the magic Police/phone box on Sauchiehall St, told her it was ‘natural’ stuff and made her take it. Her blood pressure dropped overnight (seriously), the flitting is imminent, but she’s totally chilled and just spends the entire time saying ‘what-ever’. Soo-perb!


      On the general subject of which, I don’t think we’ve had this one before. BBC Scotland guy, isn’t he?

      ‘BBC News Reporter Inhales Burning Drugs And Can’t Finish Report’ –

    107. Tinto Chiel says:

      Regarding your esteemed MiL, Ian, very good news on all fronts: I didn’t know that wee booth offered such delights.

      That clip reminded me of one of my barbecues. Think the trouble started when I attempted to grill halibut wrapped up in “banana leaves”.

      Venison banger, anyone?

    108. Tinto Chiel says:

      They’re awfie dear, btw.



    109. Ian Brotherhood says:

      @TC –


      The MT has been mercifully free of Own-Goals this evening, eh?

      Another reason to be cheerful…

      Have a braw weekend there mister, an aw ye other dear auld WOS faces…

      ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ˜‰ ๐Ÿ™‚

    110. Tinto Chiel says:

      Good morning Ian and all. And the very same to you. Derby day today at the fitba’ so brushing my Doc Martens and de-oosing my Crombie coat with vermilion linings.

      Just heading to the M/T to monitor any O.G./bacon roll activity.

      Is Slacker Cairns back? Is there honey still for tea? Was it for this the clay grew tall?

      Lovely morning Where I Am. “The shy bud, bedewed yet pert/ shrinks from the frigid early air” (peotry).

      Where the bee sucks, there suck I, ya bass.

    111. Smallaxe says:

      “Here Comes The Sun”***

      It’s the big shiny thing up in the sky! Remember?

    112. Smallaxe says:


      Trust you to be the first cuckoo this year, pull in your plumage in case your feathers get ruffled at the fitba’.

      The Cuckoo;

    113. Smallaxe says:

      Ra Tara Tara

      Ya gotta love those lyrics.

    114. Tinto Chiel says:

      Morning, Smallaxe. My spirit bends to yours, etc.

      Jeezo, that Stevie Nicks has let herself go, eh? Gwoosome my dear, simply gwoosome.

      No Cairnstoon yet and my anti-virus software is blocking my link to the livestream of the Indy march in The Hague. The Union never sleeps indeed.

      Just off to give Mrs TC her breakfast in bed, although I believe plates are more usually employed.

      Laters, haters.

    115. Smallaxe says:

      Tin toe,

      Pleased to see that you’ve taken my advice re. plates, It’s a pity that we didn’t meet years ago or I would have passed on the secret knowledge of having breakfast in bed.

      I got married on a Saturday, the following morning I made a beautifully cooked and presented breakfast and carried it up to the new Mrs SA, including a fragrant array of freshly cut flowers, of course.

      Mrs SA was delighted by this loving gesture and exclaimed, “Oh darling (that’s me) thank you, I’ve never seen such a beautifully cooked and presented breakfast with fragrant freshly cut flowers before”

      I said, “Well now that you’ve seen how it’s done I’ll be expecting you to treat me to the same joyful experience every morning from now on”

      Did I mention that I’ve been married twice?

      UB40 & Chrissie Hynde:”Breakfast in Bed”

    116. Tinto Chiel says:

      Don’t know how you could ever be loved again after all that, Smallaxe my old mucker:

      Apologies for lame, contrived cue but it’s all I’ve got at the mo (or ever).

      Besides, love the guitar intro especially.

    117. Tinto Chiel says:

      Always, my dear.


    118. Tinto Chiel says:

      She sounds like she smoked 20 Camels and drank a half bot. of Jack Daniels a day but this has a certain 80s charm:

      I wish you all a happy Saturday evening.

    119. Michael McCabe says:

      A Hundred Miles-I’m with Her

    120. Brian Doonthetoon says:

      RE: “Here Comes The Sun”.

      Gonna remind yooz of this:-

      It was an unusual evening last night. I did a comment at

      which appears to have escaped the cognescenti. Maybe it was $h!โ€  and I didn’t recognise it as such. Onnyhoo, unusually for a Friday evening, there were only 4 comments before morning awoke. Wir yi a’ pi$$โ‚ฌd?

      Ce la vie…

    121. Brian Doonthetoon says:

      From Eurovision tonight, I think the UK has burned its boats.

      I thought the UK entry from Surie was the most classic Eorovision song, the performance marred by the intervention, but it was a fine song, that, unusaully, I found myself singing along with.

      It looks like Europe has decided that the UK is not ‘one of us’.

    122. Brian Doonthetoon says:

      Just ignore the typos…

    123. Dave McEwan Hill says:

      Stevie Nicks at her best live with Buddy Holly’s most enduring present to the world

    124. Dave McEwan Hill says:


    125. Tinto Chiel says:

      The world looks away while 55 unarmed Palestinians are shot dead and many, many more injured.

      And Iraq, Libya and Syria bombed back to the Stone Age by the lunatic, rapacious West and its queer-bed-fellow allies.

      And not one factual, coherent and truthful documentary ever on British television to tell it as it is.

      Another reason to deplore the general standard of “journalists” in the UK.

    126. Michael McCabe says:

      Ye man well said Tinto

    127. Michael McCabe says:

      Morning Smallaxe ๐Ÿ˜€

    128. Tinto Chiel says:

      Good morning, gentlemen.

    129. Tinto Chiel says:


      That should be: good afternoon, gentlemen.

      And I prefer this version anyhoo:

    130. Fred says:

      Braw Tinto!

    131. Smallaxe says:

      Good afternoon, gentlepeople. I’m having an enforced break for a while, I’ll pop in now and again.

      Renรจe Fleming:”Mad World”

      I prefer that one.

    132. Fred says:

      Take it easy Smallaxe!

    133. Smallaxe says:

      Easy is being taken, Fred.

      Eagles:”Take It Easy”


    134. Tinto Chiel says:

      Amazing, Smallaxe. Thought she just sang classical.

      I’m playing this ‘cos I’m going to Crete for a few days soon.

      Don’t ask.

      PS : yer braw yersel, Fred ๐Ÿ˜› .

    135. Fred says:

      Crete clue too cryptic Tinto!

    136. Tinto Chiel says:

      No, I AM off to Crete for a quickie (steady!) but Spanish ain’t much use there, unless I meet a Spanish waiter.

      BTW, has Baroness Smith not spoken yet in the HoL? She seems to have racked up about ยฃ600K in expenses according to Wiki (I ken, I ken).

      Made the mistake of watching the SP debate and first up was Neil “Pea Soup” Findlay who could barely read his own question. Tory plan seems to be to have as many silly interventions as poss.

      It’s a bit like parliamentary Whackamole.

    137. Michael McCabe says:

      Penguin Cafรฉ Orchestra-Bean Fields {the birds}

    138. hackalumpoff says:

      On Mr Leask, this one seems to reflect his opinion of himself.

    139. Tinto Chiel says:

      Thanks, Michael. No.1 was the hoopoe, one of my favourite burds (apart from Paula R, obvs).

      hackalumpoff: shouldn’t you be cooking a 5-courser for SWMBO?

      Right about L___k, btw. What a silly sausage!

    140. Ian Brotherhood says:

      Serious question – has the phrase ‘Cobblers to the King (or Queen)’ ever been used for real, as-in by shoemakers ‘by Royal Appointment’ etc?

    141. Tinto Chiel says:

      No, Ian , but the British Beef Industry has previously endorsed the motto “Bullocks to the Queen”, and why not, he BarryNormaned?

      Thanks, cearc: I was amazed ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Look, I’m only going to perfect my tan-and-tartan mankini concept for the Dumfries march. Trying to give that style icon, Smallaxe, a run for his money. The lallies looking toned already, tbh.

      Then I’m going to park my saltire on Fluffy’s lawn.

      Ooh, matron…

    142. Fred says:

      “Cobblers to the Queen,” Ian, of all the ancient Scottish Trades Incorporations only the Hammermen & the Cordiners (cobblers) have the crown on their arms, which doesn’t answer your question!

      @ Tinto, Findlay, lord Fauldhoose in Waiting!

    143. Tinto Chiel says:

      @Fred: I have responded on the M/T, mon vieux.

      Neil is a pair wee sowill.

      He’s no wice, eh?

    144. Fred says:

      Failed brickie!

    145. Fred says:

      In fact, a touch of the Chick Murray tae!

    146. William Wallace says:

      @ Sma 10 May, 2018 at 1:24 pm

      You are welcome in my home at any time, remember.

      Totally appreciated and much love and respect but, I don’t want to put on you the now. I’d like to take the opportunity to get you a wee single malt in Dumfries though ;).

      @YIR2 Thanks for the suggestion, I will check it out. Hope ah the mad squad in aff topic are keeping well and hope to see yiz ah in Dumfries shortly.

    147. Tinto Chiel says:



      Regular but constipated?

      Need cobwebs removed? Press below for quick relief:

      Fred: “It’s a small world but I wouldn’t like to paint it.”
      (Chic. Murray)

    148. crazycat says:

      Transport to Dumfries (and back if you’re good)

      Yes East Ayrshire are contemplating hiring a coach. We would need 42 people to commit (20-seater costs nearly as much, so would be considerably more per head).

      I assume we would start in Kilmarnock, but I suppose that could be slightly flexible. At present I’m just asking arround, but if anyone would be interested, please post here so I can report back and we’ll decide if we’re going to do it.


    149. Tinto Chiel says:

      I need intellectual help (behave, you lot!).

      A while ago a sage Winger amongst us (Brian DTT?) posted a link to a series of recordings of allied POWs in Germany post-WW1 by German linguists.

      I remember being particularly interested to hear voices from Hamilton in 1918. It will come as little surprise to the soffisticates on here that they sound amazingly like our denizens today, such is the power of Scots dialects and accents.

      Problem is, my old PC died without warning with its Favourites, so does anyone have the link?

      *Stares hard at BDTT*

      Large malt of choice @Dumfries for the lucky winner.

    150. Brian Doonthetoon says:

      Dinnae think it was me. I have no recollection of Hamilton or POWs.

      I’ll still settle for a bottle of Malt as a salve to my ignorance…

    151. Tinto Chiel says:

      Thanks, BDTT.

      A bottle, you say?

      Howsaboot a 1/4 gill for your general fandabbydoziness?

      So who’s the guilty party then?

    152. Cactus says:

      Ahm here, batter in dare main thread, ahm having a party.

      It’s FUN!

    153. Fred says:

      @ Tinto U mean there were Cameronians who surrendered!

      Speaking of cobblers, did U catch Cameron Macneish on the Cobbler tonight on 2. Scary Biscuits!

    154. yesindyref2 says:

      @William Wallace
      Yes, it’s a nice area. Brighouse Bay, same company, is a bigger one probably more leisure facilities, but a fair way west of that one. Both are sometimes customers of mine but no other interest.

    155. Cactus says:

      Settling down to Rouge One.

      Night night.

      Have fun.

    156. Thepnr says:


      17 Black, good luck and take care. Most of all enjoy yourself ๐Ÿ™‚

    157. Cactus says:

      Cheers buddy, good to be here.

      I may quote lines from the film, randomly…

      Welcome Summer.

    158. Cactus says:

      Bor Gullet.

    159. Tinto Chiel says:

      @Fred: I missed that ‘cos I don’t watch VichyVision no more. MacNeish must be one of the few Yessers to get a gig on the BBC. The scary bit at the top discombobulates one somewhat (code for “Hoorin’ ___k!”).

      Yes, the Cameronians were a thrawn bunch and brave but I believe the Seaforths simply wiped out a bunch of MPs who were sent into their section of the line. Something I was reading recently and must chase up.

      That’s the one, Smallaxe. Really appreciate that: large Remy M. will be awaiting in Dumfries, and a pickled gerkin/packet of Quavers si tu l’en veut. Link safely pouched in my faves again.

      Fine day down here. Just seen a pair of bullfinches in a bush in my garden: really beautiful.

    160. Tinto Chiel says:

      “Gherkin”, obvs. Sometimes cried cornichon in bourgeois parts of Lanarkshire (if you can find them).

    161. Daisy Walker says:

      I had a rant the other day, about the missed opportunities Perthshire SNP officials keep missing, in relation to leaving no stone unturned for getting a positive message out to the public about Scotland, about the real threats of Brexit, and the health reasons behind the Baby Box.

      I’m aware some did not like the tone – for which I apologise.

      I’m aware others did not like or did not agree with the contents. Specifically with regards utilising the front windows of the SNP Offices – it was posted that there are strict rules and regulations preventing them from being used in such a manner, as a Constituency Office (quite rightly) has to serve all the constituents.

      Being a thrawn wee bugger at times (my most endearing feature if I’m honest), I wanted to know if this was an example of ‘truthiness’, and specifically, exactly, definitively what are the rules and regs on this – and how can we legitimately get round them.

      So I made 2 phone calls – it didn’t take long – I phoned IPSA – The Independent Political Standards Authority, and from them I phoned The Commission for MP’s Standards. (This might not be the exact name, but I’m committed to finishing this post so can’t go back to check, but you get the gist).

      Both agencies confirmed, with regards the livery/posters on Constituency Office Windows

      1/ As the office is funded through public money, it cannot be used as a campaign office – during elections, (when they are used as campaign officers) no office rent expenses are claimed, which keeps it legal.

      2/ There should be no party logos, an unwritten rule being – the office serves all constituents.

      Thereafter – there are no strict guidelines, no written rules and no legislation, no nothing.

      Perth SNP Office on Glasgow Road, remains a poor, shabby looking thing, which tells passing motorist nothing, which tells those waiting at the bus stop – nothing, which tells the people walking into or from town – nothing.

      I want to see, in that window, a big, beautiful poster of that magnificent Queensferry Bridge crossing the Forth – on time and under budget, with a great big thank you to all the contractors and businesses in the Perthshire area listed, along with the number of jobs, the number of apprenticeships completed.

      That’s not party political – that’s self confident, eye catching and positive. And it should have been done quite a few yesterdays ago.

      Yes we can, Now we must.

    162. Capella says:

      @ Daisy Walker – agree about the iconic bridge. It would make a brilliant poster as the image speaks for itself. Ditto the baby box.

      I wasn’t aware that there should be no party logo. As I recall it, the offices I see have nothing but party logos. Swift replacement with bridge posters might be required!

    163. Ian Brotherhood says:

      For any Marvin Gaye fans…

      Just found this on YT, a version of What’s Going On, never heard it before. Soo-perb!

    164. Tinto Chiel says:

      Great stuff, Ian. Makes me think of this, another favourite:

      BTW, the MPs the Seaforths were supposed to have shot were military policemen, not members of parliament.

      Although some of you might be disappointed, of course……

    165. Liz g says:

      Daisy Walker @ 10.53
      Yes I agree Daisy, the office Windows should be classy,smart
      and above all Scottish.
      Nothing wrong in takin a wee bit o’ pride in there appearance,and promoting Scotland and the same time.
      I’m all for anything that chip’s away at the cringe!
      The Bridge is a perfect example,infact all three of them are!

    166. Tinto Chiel says:

      This has a four-minute intro:

      Nice way to relax after a hectic day.

      Or a calm day.

    167. Sarah says:

      @Daisy Walker – I agree too. No office should look scruffy, let alone an MPs. And why not advertise the achievements of the occupant – free prescriptions, baby boxes, Borders Railway, Qferry crossing etc etc etc?

    168. Cactus says:

      Aye am with the force and the force is with me ๐Ÿ™‚

    169. Cactus says:

      And aye am one.

      Evening Wingers.

    170. William Wallace says:

      Pit this on the MT but, eh’ll pit it here an ah. Ony help appreciated.

      William Wallace says:
      18 May, 2018 at 2:25 am
      Ehโ€™ve been writing some wee topical ditties recently that eh wiz gonna pit on twitter. Eh need a backdrop image that would mak space fir a wee bit o poetry (Eh ken you hate it Stu ya big jessie) but, eh am shite at art.

      If anybody could mak a nice indy focused backdrop fir iz, wi a wee bit o space for the written word on it โ€“ eh would really appreciate it (thistles lions and saltire style). Ehโ€™ve a few ideas aboot how eh want it to look and eh dinnae mind paying fir yir time.

      If onybody could dae that fir iz, eh would be forever in yir debt. Giz a shout on aff topic if you have the skills iy.

      Love and respect tae ah the wingers fir whaz like yiz? Eh nane iy. ? ?

    171. William Wallace says:

      That’s me booked for Dumfries. Managed to get a hotel room for ยฃ30 close to the centre of Dumfries. Sorted. See you all there. ๐Ÿ™‚

    172. William Wallace says:

      Meant to say, if anyone is south of Dumfries and needs a lift up on the Saturday morning and/or a lift back on the Sunday morning/afternoon, please let me know.

    173. Ian Brotherhood says:

      @WW –

      Hope to see you in Dumfries brither!

      Here’s something special late at night. Blows my mind watching this, every time.

      Preston Reed, ‘The Last Viking’ –

    174. Tinto Chiel says:

      Ian:just taking time out from knitting another unisex matinee jacket for Harry and Meghan’s first nappy-filler to ask…

      Is that clip the origin of the term “spank your plank”?

      An extraordinary performance.

    175. Dave McEwan Hill says:

      And when can we expect the piccaninnies?

    176. Ian Brotherhood says:

      Hoots all.

      Jabberwocky’s show should be starting about now…

    177. Daisy Walker says:

      What a right sentimental bunch ye aw are, the minute theres a wedding.

      Tae the tune oh ‘Dunbartons drums, they are sae bonny, and they remind me oh ma Johnny’, etc

      Dunbartons Earls they are sae ginnger
      I think we should, show them the fingger
      And nae matter how they try tae skewit
      I think his dad’s a bloody Hewitt

      PS… turns out it really hard to spell ginnger, who knew.

    178. Thepnr says:

      @Tinto Chiel

      Meant to say yesterday, commiserations to Motherwell. Now you know how it feels after your lot beat United 4-3 LOL

    179. Smallaxe says:

      “All Along The Watchtower” Playing For Change-Song Around The World;

      (o)”(o) Watching!

    180. Tinto Chiel says:

      @Thepnr: sitting in my tartan mankini in a bar in Sissi (no unseemly jokes, please) on Crete, musing upon our defeat by a better team. Never in it.

      I am finding this ouzo stuff quite medicinal in the circs but am keeping up the mineral water and bending exercises for Dumfries, obvs.

      Hope to see some of you soffisticates there. I’ll be day-tripping it with my handler but am finding a big enough flag pole hard to find. Didn’t think my room-the-shouthers look really worked at GG.

      Fashion can be so fickle…..

    181. Brian Doonthetoon says:

      With all the mentions of Murphy online today, I think it is appropriate to link, again, to this classic piece of Cinematography.

    182. Thepnr says:

      @Tinto Chiel

      Mind give your wee Greek neighbour a wave ๐Ÿ™‚

    183. Thepnr says:

      @Brian Doonthetoon

      Just watched all that again, brilliant “the repeller of eggs”.

    184. Tinto Chiel says:

      Thanks, Alex.

      Gave me semmit tae dae.

    185. Thepnr says:

      @Brian Doonthetoon

      Things are looking up for Dundee!

      ‘Dynamic’ Dundee picked as must-see destination

      Dundee has been named one of the 10 best European destinations to visit this year by publisher Lonely Planet.

      Lonely Planet’s Best in Europe 2018:

      1 Emilia-Romagna, Italy
      2 Cantabria, Spain
      3 Friesland, the Netherlands
      4 Kosovo
      5 Provence, France
      6 Dundee, Scotland ๐Ÿ™‚
      7 Small Cyclades, Greece
      8 Vilnius, Lithuania
      9 Vipava Valley, Slovenia
      10 Tirana, Caesar!nia

    186. Thepnr says:

      I doubt that the UK would continue paying Scottish pensioners after Independence. I think from day 1 of Independence the Scottish government would take responsibility for that. Of course a deal would have to be worked out with the rUK based on what NI everyone in Scotland has already paid and not just current pensioners all future ones too for a certain time.

      Who knows what that agreement might be, a reduction in our share of the debt or guaranteed payments direct to the SG every year for whatever period of time it took.

      Pension liabilities are huge and that’s a debt owed by Westminster to all of Scotland’s workers that have paid in. The SG will decide what the appropriate pension is in this country, no one else. I’d expect that eventually to be a more generous payment than we currently have and hopefully all fully paid for in the brand Scottish currency.

    187. Thepnr says:

      Oops! wrong thread LOL

    188. Smallaxe says:

      Nina Simone:”I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel To Be Free”

    189. Cactus says:

      Excellent main thread… ahm nae touching it.

      How are you?

      Lovin’ your talk Liz g on it mwah x.

      Long live rock n roll… Dio.

      Ahm on a guest wifi.

      Mornin’s begun.


    190. William Wallace says:

      No touching what Cactus? ๐Ÿ˜‰ The Boaby? Only yir ain iy. ๐Ÿ™‚

    191. William Wallace says:

      @ Sma

      I’ll see your LoLa & Hauser and raise you a Valentina Lisitsa ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ˜‰

      The Moonlight “Movement” ๐Ÿ˜‰

    192. Cactus says:

      Aye aye touched it William and it was good ๐Ÿ™‚

      Cannae help masel.

      Good thread.


    193. William Wallace says:

      You going to Dumfries Cactus?

    194. Cactus says:

      Aye aye ahm William ๐Ÿ™‚

    195. William Wallace says:

      zero seven seven six five six seven zero two

    196. Cactus says:

      Nice number 99 hunner balloons bro.

      Aye am eating a big cake.

      See yer Man vs Food…

      Let’s do ah Man vs Cake!

      Ah could be a winner.

      Wingers ๐Ÿ™‚

    197. Cactus says:

      The cake hath gone.

      T-shirt time.

      +taps aff.

    198. William Wallace says:

      Text iz so eh can contact ya when eh get there. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    199. Cactus says:

      Will do bro.

      Ahm trying tae tune intae the shoot-out for Bully’s prize.

      Tis awe scrambled, damn.


    200. William Wallace says:

      @ Ian

      Likewise brother. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    201. Cactus says:

      Incidentally, my Challenge is still challenging.

      But me ITV2+1 is good.

      Family Time.


    202. Michael McCabe says:

      Joni Mitchell-Coyote

    203. Ian Brotherhood says:

      @W.W.,Cactus et Al (whoever he is) –

      We shall find each other on the day, nae doots.


    204. Cactus says:

      Aye we’ll all be there… big Al too bro, whomever she/he is ๐Ÿ™‚

      Heidin oot for the last horderves.

      En vacance.

      En Ecosse.


    205. Fred says:

      @ Tinto, just back from Ben Oovi, missed the waddin completely, hope Crete is as warm! Just catchin up, a bit dis-oriented!

      Bests to Smallaxe

    206. Dave McEwan Hill says:

      To anybody who is listening to my show on Argyll Independent Radio(online)tonight I’ll be having a few words with Ken MacDonald of I-Scot magazine just after 7pm before he talks to the Forward Shop in Dunoon

    207. Jim Davidson says:

      What Davidson (no relation, at least I hope no) Murdo, Carlaw, och aw them fear the most, That when all this is history, there names will be, being kindly. Shite

    208. Ian Brotherhood says:

      This popped into my heid this afternoon and I have no idea why.

      Have a braw pre-Dumfries weekend abody!


      Disco Tex And The Sexolettes, ‘Get Dancin!’ –

    209. Ian Brotherhood says:

      And this is the appropriate soundtrack for Smallaxe appearing at Glasgow Green, Dumfries, wherever…

      Henry Mancini, ‘Pink Panther Theme’ –

    210. Cactus says:

      Checkin’ in Wingers…

      Whit’s gaun on..

      Oor William.


    211. Cactus says:

      Ah was restauranting earlier on yesterday somewhere in Scotland. Ordered yer homemade Lasagne… turns out it they didnae come wae sides as standard east coast like.

      Had to order side fries n coleslaw.

      What the FUCK is that awe about like?!

      Love Scotland.


    212. Cactus says:

      Ra Blues Brothers.


      Da da, da ra da ra, dar ah.

      The time is…

    213. Cactus says:

      C’est bon soir.


    214. Tinto Chiel says:

      @Ian B: great choice. Was told at school I walked just like the PP.

      Fred: hot hot hot here but a big thunderstorm early this morning. Nice breezes on the north coast. Going up into the hills today to see the eagles and vultures. Reading Beevor’s book on the Cretan campaign. Normally like his stuff but his English officer class background come through too much with characters like Binky this or Bongo that and their eccentric Boys’ Own Paper jolly japes. Will persevere, though. Only Scots so far are a nanny to an officer and a drunk Black Watch driver *grinds teeth*.

      I’m going to scweam and scweam and scweam unless our new currency is called the Tinto, soanumurr.

      As Thepnr said, let’s get free first, then all thing are possible.

    215. Fred says:

      @ Tinto, anent the new currency, would that mean arranging a small loan would be called a “Tintock Tap?”

      Compton Mackenzie’s Greek stuff is VG but sadly not read much nooadays!

      Trust Smallaxe fits his Henry Mankini like a glove!

    216. Tinto Chiel says:

      @Fred: your jokes are getting as bad as mine ๐Ÿ˜› . Saw those griffon cultures this morning: enormous they are. Also a good few falcons in silhouette but since they have both peregrine and Eleanor’s here, couldn’t identify.

      Nice folk, the Cretans but their red wine is generally too dry for my taste. Might have to get ratty on raki.

      Yup, MacKenzie, like Linklater, is very out of fashion. Scots publishing is so bad nowadays they would never get published, nor Gunn nor Gibbon.

      *starts chewing carpet*

    217. hackalumpoff says:

      @ Tinto, Anent the new currency. PNR said on the MT yesterday that people were more important than currency.

      So I would Prefer the Chiel.

      The Exchange rate would start at 1 Chiel(CH) = ยฃ100(Oil price at Indy)

      Some denominations lowest to highest:
      0.01 Ch the Yoon (their pound is our loose change)
      0.10 Ch the Ewing
      0.20 Ch the Margo
      0.50 Ch the Stu
      10.0 Ch the Eck
      100 Ch the Sturge


    218. Tinto Chiel says:

      @hackalumpoff: “the Chiel “? I’m pwoud, vewwy pwoud but have you considered The Nana, a very hard currency?

      I also believe the Shockeroony is still available.

      I think the Greeks have a word for it but what that is has still to be discovered. This raki is rather strong stuff, btw.

      Night all, or night owl, I’m not too sure…..

    219. Michael McCabe says:

      Excuse me rc Ruth have you got change of a cheerio.

    220. hackalumpoff says:

      @Tinto, Nana is a priceless Jewel not to be traded. “facts are chiels that winna ding, an’ downa be disputed”

      I hope that “Narcotic” Raki stuff is not invoking the ghost of the son of Cephissus and the nymph Liriope.

    221. Tinto Chiel says:

      I thought you got out of that tight spot very elegantly, hackalumpoff. Smooth, man.

      The GK Ortho church here has been ringing bell peals since 7 this morning with endless sung lines and responses over a loudspeaker. The raki has run oot tae. Wish Cactus was here ‘cos I feel a ran dan is called for.

      Ghost of Narcissus, moi? Wait tilI find a still pool……

    222. Michael McCabe says:

      Morning Tinto hope you are having a great time over yonder. Don’t know much about the Greeks. Famous Greeks? Is the Queens man not known as Phil the Greek. Mind you I have always thought he was a Cretin.:-D

    223. Tinto Chiel says:

      Hi, Michael. Unfortunately coming home later tonight. It’s been swell, though. The mountains are bigger than ours and very rugged. Still snow on Mt. Ida, I’m told.

      Confusingly Phil the Greek spoke/speaks fluent German and he had relatives in the Wehrmacht.

      It’s a funny old game, Saint.

    224. Ian Brotherhood says:

      Is that you home yet TC? Safe & sound I hope…

      Had never heard of this lass before this evening, one of her songs was played on that RS jazz show.

      What a voice.

      Natalie Williams, ‘Start Walking’ (live)

    225. Tinto Chiel says:

      IanB: the Eagle has landed, thanksfurrasking. Only cloud/clown on the flight was a Rab C Nesbitt reject who managed to spill a can of Mythos over his crotchal area as he dozed mid-flight, with a liberal sprinkling of profanities on waking.

      Lovely weather at home so grass-cutting begins in thirty mins.

      Later, may play some of my Nana Moussaka albums.

      Ya sass.

    226. starlaw says:

      Just heard the Proclaimers sing ‘Scotlands Story’ Ive never heard this song before but thought if these lyrics could be overlaid onto the imagery from AUOB march in Glasgow … It would be a winner, is there anyone out there with the knowhow to achieve this, I would love to see the result.

    227. Marie Clark says:

      Hi folks, haven’t been around much lately, busy enjoying the sunshine while it lasts.

      I’m pleased to see that Tinto has made it home, safe and well. I hope that you have had a good holiday. I think that we all need a good holiday to get ready now for the big push. I don’t think it’s far away now.

      Anyhoo folks, can someone please tell me what the arrangements are for Saturday in Dumfries. I don’t do facebook or twatter, so I would be much obliged for the info. Ta.

    228. Tinto Chiel says:

      Hi, Marie: me neither. Hope this helps:

      Don’t know where to park the Bentley Con.

    229. Brian Doonthetoon says:

      Hi Marie.

      Here’s some info from Facebook…





      PROCESSION ROUTE: High Street, Burns Statue,Castle Street, Buccleuch street, Whitesands, Dockhead, Dock Park.






      All Systems Go……

      All permissions are now in place for the March And Rally.

      We would like to thank Dumfries and Galloway Council, Police Scotland, Fire and Rescue services, The Ambulance Service and Dumfries and Galloway Safety Advisory Group for all their help.

      A Few Guidelines and Helpful Hints to ensure everyone stays safe and enjoys the day:

      Weather is expected to be hot so please ensure you have water to drink and use sunscreen and/or dress appropriately
      If you see anyone struggling with the heat please inform a steward.

      March is accessible for the less able marchers and wheelchair users as it consists of a pedestrian precinct (although there is a cobbled area at start so wheelchairs may require a little assistance) followed by a gentle downhill section and finishes on a flat section.

      As such the format of the March will be as follows:

      Leading the March will be musicians/pipers.

      Next up will be the wheelchair users and less able bodied marchers.

      Then there shall be the first banner on the procession which shall read: ‘Independence Now’ – which says it all in two words and thus will be the first banner on the parade.

      Following this and after the ‘Independence Now’ bloc on the March the next section shall be headed by the English Scots for Yes banner.

      THEN the rest of the March will follow.

      Please march in 4s where possible as this ensures safety and will allow the march to go smoothly.

      NOBODY is to be in front of the musicians. This applies to marchers and stewards.

      Public drinking of alcohol during the March And Rally is against the law and could lead to arrest and prosecution.

      Thank You and Enjoy the Day
      The Organisers



      For the:

      SAT. 2ND JUNE 2018

      AUOB is currently organising 3 X 70 seater coaches to transport Independence Supporters to Dumfries and back.

      COST OF 1 SEAT IS ยฃ10.00






      Therefore please be on time for this as the coaches leave at 9.30 sharp and of you miss this then no refund will be available.
      The coaches will leave Dumfries after the Political Rally- but are booked up until late in the evening so each coach can leave at a time that suits the respective passengers and of course the driver.
      The drive time between Glasgow Dumfries is 1 hour 38 minutes approx


      AUOB Ltd

      Bank of Scotland

      Account number: 15456261

      Sort code: 802260


    230. Marie Clark says:

      Thanks a million fella’s for the infor. I hope to meet a few of you on Saturday. See you then.


    231. Tinto Chiel says:

      So there I was dancing around my ironing-board when BBC Shortbread announced Ruth Davidson’s speech tonight demanding more immigration to fill job vacancies in Scotland.

      My choices: large malt whisky; service revolver in the library; post my angst on O/T.

      Chose the last:

    232. Cactus says:

      Mornin’ mes amis.

      SO here’s an idea… AUOB… if anybuddy is driving from Glasgow, you could always meet up with the coaches at Freedom Square at 9am, then ALL begin the journey together to Dumfries at 9:30am.

      Callin’ a convoy ๐Ÿ˜‰

    233. Tinto Chiel says:

      10-4, 10-4, Cactus.

      We ain’t a gonna pay no toll…..

    234. Tinto Chiel says:

      Rough and mean, these dudes:

      But their crochet work is magnificent.

    235. frogesque says:

      Intend taking the campervan to Dumfries on Friday. Just me and the dog! Will leave Glenrothes in the afternoon.

      Will overnight in the Dock Park Car Park (DG1 2RY post code for sat nav) then join start of march at south end of High Street.

      Travelling from Fife, could take a maximum of 2 passengers but you would need your own tent and sleeping bag or bivi.

      Have to be back in Fife for Sat pm.

      As long as you can make you own sleeping arrangements then you are welcome to a free lift there and back

    236. Smallaxe says:

      John Farnham & Melbourne Symphony Orchestra:” You’re the voice”

    237. Tinto Chiel says:

      “CareBearLovesWeed”, Smallaxe?

      Good to see you spinning the platters again.

    238. Smallaxe says:

      Hi Tinto,

      Did you get us some of that Grecian 2000 for Saturday?

    239. yesindyref2 says:

      Or as a pal of mine sadly long since departed used to say “Gimme Hump Joโ€™Anna”. He was musical.

    240. Smallaxe says:

      Pals of mine sing this.

      J.B.O:”Gimme Dope Joanna”

      It wisnae me!

    241. yesindyref2 says:

      Apparently the two often go together. I couldn’t comment for myself.

    242. yesindyref2 says:

      Took me 6 tries to get that, my earphone extension lead seems to be – new one needed! While wife watches BGT.

      As a suggestion for the march on Saturday by the way, a roll of paper with “Apologies, can’t make it for work, personal or medical reasons”.

      I’ll be busy making stock as last week was a hectic and very good week and I’m recovering from it. So sadly put my name on the list as that trip down to the Lakes will now be next week not this one. But I’ll be there in spirit (no, cups of tea every 2 hours not whisky).

    243. Tinto Chiel says:

      Smallaxe: you say Grecian 2000, I say Remy Martin.


    244. Smallaxe says:


      If your earphones aren’t working properly, try this;

    245. Smallaxe says:


      That’s more to my…

      Taste:”It’s happened before, it’ll happen again;

      That’s jazz!

    246. Tinto Chiel says:

      Amazing Rory, amazing footage.

      Must have been a nightmare to drum to, though.

      More a “Middle of The Road” man myself (without the hot pants, obvs.)

    247. Smallaxe says:

      A nightmare to drum to, Tinto?

      Avenged Sevenfold:”Nightmare” (Warning! there’s a bad word in it)

      No’ that bad tho’, eh!

    248. Tinto Chiel says:

      That was a trifle coarse, Smallaxe.

      I believe the Nana Moussaka cover version cuts out the F word.

      And why not? he Normaned.

      Off to the Land of Nod so sweet dreams yourself, old mole.

    249. Smallaxe says:

      I’m joining up, pure ded brilliant soanitis;

      Ten Shun! (Factoid: That means attention, I’ve seen it in films)

      Ah huv!

    250. Smallaxe says:


      Goodnight, sweet prince and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.

      Ye sleepin’ yet?

    251. Fred says:

      Won’t make Dumfries guys, away in the other direction.

      Wee quiz, who said, “Don’t let the awkward squad fire over the coffin?”

    252. Smallaxe says:

      Robert Burns!

      Whit’s the prize, Fred!

      Ahm awe excited noo.

    253. Smallaxe says:

      That should be a wee ? after Fred up there^

      Here’s another wan;
      Question Mark & The Mysterians:”96 Tears”

      See whit ah did ther?

    254. Smallaxe says:

      Noo ah’m feeling like wee Brenda,

      This version’s fir ma big pal Tinto;

      It’s awe Greek tae me!

    255. Brian Doonthetoon says:

      Hi Smallaxe.

      Have you heard this carbon copy version of 96 Tears?

      Here’s a single that was actually played on Mike Read’s breakfast show (around 10 past 8) on Radio 1 back in the day.

      A traditional Scottish song, about the cattle drovers herding their coos doon the road ti that Glasgow.

      PS: I have a copy of that on 7″ picture disc.

    256. Smallaxe says:

      Hi Brian,

      I’d heard the first one but I’d never seen the video, good stuff!

      Some two tone tears?

      Here’s the video that goes with your second disc;

      See you at Dumfries on Saturday?

    257. Brian Doonthetoon says:

      Hi Smallaxe.

      I should be at Dumfries on Saturday. All the logistics are in place. Residing at Chez Ronnie on Friday night for a quick getaway on Saturday.

      I feel some of your Gretna medication could go down well on Saturday. I feel it in mah bones…


    258. Fred says:

      Morning Smallaxe! there is a Dumfries connection to this!

    259. Smallaxe says:

      Morning, Fred,

      Would that connection be St. Michael’s Churchyard, Dumfries?

    260. Tinto Chiel says:

      Sorry you were left on your Jack Jones last night, Smallaxe but I need my beauty sleep. Gotta look my best for the Dumfriesians.

      Are espadrilles out of the question on Sats, d’ya think or would that be a wedge too far?


      How to become a poet? Stand in front of the fire until your Rabbie Burns.

      An actress? SIFOTF until your Googie Withers.

      At least that Rod Stewart footage reminded me that my Spandex days are over.

    261. Smallaxe says:


      If you keep telling those ‘jokes’ you’ll get your poetic licence taken away.

      Spandex ya bass!

    262. Tinto Chiel says:

      Yes, Smallaxe, that gluteus is certainly maximus and then some.

      As the Greeks say, ya sass, ya bass.

      Paella tonight so off to my monger of fish for my requisites.

      Fred: sorry I won’t see you. Was bringing down a few place-names for you to meet.

    263. Smallaxe says:


      Enjoy your fish, make sure that you get it well monged. I think that it’s amazing that fish don’t drown in the sea because it’s full of water, intit?

      “I Feel Like I’m Drowning”


    264. Fred says:

      Smallaxe, it’s no often ye’re wrang but you’re right again! Burns was concerned that the local militia would kill some windae-hingers at the funeral. Nae cigar sadly but!

    265. Marie Clark says:

      Smallaxe, you’ve excelled yersel son wi that clip o’ Kenny Everett. I well remember watching it all those years ago with my wee boy who was nine at he time, an we both really lol’d.

      Do you know something, my wee boy is a big lad, all 6 foot of him and 39 now, but that clip just never gets old. Both of us just lol’d again. Great memories. Thank you sir.

      See you Saturday my friend. Take care.

    266. Tinto Chiel says:

      I was out in the car scouting for scallops and this came on my crystal set:

      All I could say was, “Wow!”

      Wish they’d followed it up with “White Dog” now.

    267. Smallaxe says:


      Aye, the Dumfries Militia very nearly shot the minister at a previous burial.


      Glad you enjoyed Kenny Everett, he used to be a regular in the pub that I used to manage in Earls Court, the leather gear that he used to wear on tv was his own!


      Scouting for scallops, it’s okay, they can’t touch you for it, I think!
      Here are Three Dogs;

    268. Tinto Chiel says:

      Morning, Smallaxe.

      In the same spirit:

      Now you can wear your hat at a John T Angle all day!

    269. Tinto Chiel says:

      Can I say I find the sexual undertones of that material rather offensive?


      Prudence Purefoy
      Milngavie & Bearsden Anti Joy League

    270. Smallaxe says:

      Dear Mrs Purefoy,

      Oh, is that a fact Mrs Killjoy, may I inform you on behalf of the Govan Stanklifters (president being myself) and also on behalf of our sister organisation the Big Bella Houstons (president Mary Hill) that we don’t give a rats arse what you and your tin knickered crowd of born-again virgins like or don’t like.

      I leave you with this other musical piece which you can either like or lump, please yourselves (you all probably do that anyway).

      Don’t let the door hit your arse on the way out.

      Yours cordially,
      The Committee

      PS If any more allegations are made against our esteemed organisations rest assured that the alligators will be facing a court case, toot sweet. (French)

    271. William Wallace says:

      Basking in glorious sunshine on the Solway coast just now and ready for the big day tomorrow. Leaving the caravan on site and driving from here past Gretna to Dumfries early morning. If anyone needs a lift give me a shout. Drop me a text on zero seven seven six five six seven zero two nine nine if you are meeting up for a pint folks.

      I will probably have my Scotland anonymous mask on, wings flag, saltire laces and hope over fear saltire to make it relatively easy to identify me. Do come and say hello guys and gals as it would be nice to meet you all at last after previous near misses.

      Look forward to seeing you all tomorrow. ๐Ÿ™‚

    272. Tinto Chiel says:

      Dear Mr Smallaxe, if that is your real name,

      Thank you for your timeous response and how nice to hear from you.

      Could I point out your argument is entirely fallacious since your ” World’s Dirtiest Song” contained no obscenities at all and was entirely wholesome in my view, unlike that disgraceful Philately Song you posted here a few months ago and which should have got you banned.

      I am not accustomed to such pert vituperation, particularly at coarse, grubby proletarian hands such as yours.

      Kindly desist or I shall seek legal redress and will be up against you in court.

      I remain (flustered and strangely aglow),

      Pru xxx

    273. Smallaxe says:

      Dear Pru.

      You were gently warned in my first missive about your attitude regarding the most excellent music that I play for the more discerning listeners amongst us.

      Your choice of language is deplorable, ‘Fallacious’ and ‘Philately’ indeed, who’s the one using obscenities now! Also, I have no wish to know how pert your vituperations are as they are probably as false as your indignation and were touching your knees before you had surgical intervention.

      I would be obliged if my choice of good music on these hallowed pages were ignored by you in future, after all, no one forces you to listen but you just can’t help yourself, can you, nosey!

      I am now going to play the great Kenneth McKellar singing an old favourite of mine and no doubt, you will find some tiny little thing that you can complain further about, even by that great man.

      Ras Smallaxe

      PS I look forward to being up against you in court, I hope you have a decent pair of briefs to defend you, you’ll most certainly need them.

    274. yesindyref2 says:

      Mmm, and on that note:

    275. Tinto Chiel says:

      Oh! How very dare you with your disgusting insinuations regarding intellectual words you obvs. don’t even understand. You’ve probably corrupted than nice Kenneth MacKellar to sing your vile version of The HALL of Kirriemuir. Potty mouths like yours will be contacted by my lawyer, who will be certainly contacting me on Ecclefechan 69666 (ask for Scarlet Pru) ๐Ÿ˜‰ .

      As for Yesindy ref2, I’ve always thought of you as a nice, level-headed young man: please don’t sink to “Smallaxe’s” level.

      I suspect he’s nought but a filthy contrarian.

      Prudence, Invicta

    276. yesindyref2 says:

      Ha! Fooled you! ๐Ÿ™‚

      I totally deny any disgusting allegations about ever going around phone boxes looking for messages written on the board with phone numbers.

      Or pressing button B to see if anyone had forgotten.

    277. Smallaxe says:

      Dear Prudence,

      I never understand, I’n’I overstand, seen? An mi neva corrupt Kenneth McKellar him did dat all by himself, suh there!
      Yuh wi neva be happy til yuh get ramp all yuh own silly tunes, eff mi yuh mi did wud tink twice before coming up against mi inna court.
      Si here wah happen di laas time sum’ady try dat;

      Fari Ras Smallaxe

    278. Tinto Chiel says:

      yesindyref2: the TC of whom you speak is unfortunately my half-brother and I am merely using his account but he puts the diss into dissolute and is a brain-addled vile sep who seems to have unaccountably bogged off to Dumfries. Please don’t lower your standards, young man.

      “Smallaxe”: your “inna court” will be the High Court unless you ditch the likes of Pluto S and stop casting nasturtiums.

      No speaka da Inglish or summat?



    279. Smallaxe says:


      Please ignore that filthy minded woman (I hesitate to call her a lady), and pressing button B will do you no good anyway as she has probably beat you to it when she was putting up her messages.

      Just listen to her on the phone and you’ll soon find out what kind of person hides beneath the mask of respectability;

    280. Tinto Chiel says:

      @”Smallaxe”: that is an outrageous assertion, sir.

      Get me Beltrami!

    281. Smallaxe says:


      Big Joe’s deid! Try Ross Harper.


      Got some;

    282. yesindyref2 says:

      Oh gawd, it wasn’t since the last time I tried to make the peace between a couple in a pub and had to run out leaving my unfinished pint behind after they both turned on me, I realised the absolute futility of it all. Probably got them back together all the same “Who was that risole”, “yes he was”. Ho hum. Never been back, there were plenty other pubs in the ocean.

    283. Capella says:

      Good luck in Dumfries tomorrow everyone. I definitely won’t make it to such an exotic location.Hope the sun shines for you.

      Meanwhile, since it’s Friday night – I had never heard of Roy Buchanan till tonight. Straight from the bible belt to fantastic slide guitar – makes slow hand Clapton look hyper.

      In two parts of 30 mins but do listen to part 2 at 11 min 42 for a beautiful version of Patsy Cline hit Sweet Dreams.

    284. Tinto Chiel says:

      Yesindyref2: hi, it’s TC here. Thanks for all your efforts but my half-sister is going through a bad patch just now and is in a (probs doomed) relationship with an accountant called Melvin from Milngavie. Puritan thing over-compensation. She has also some libido/vodka slammer issues she’s working through at the mo but you can take the girl out of Ecclefechan, etc……

      Smallaxe: it’s me, old mole. How could you think other? On a coracle on the Nith ce soir but just to say I’ll be in Tyrian purple ramorra if it helps your wardrobe.

    285. Smallaxe says:


      A dangerous move to make when;

      “We don’t want nobody to come between us”

    286. yesindyref2 says:

      Ecclean? Where’s that Ted?

    287. Nana says:

      Do I detect a falling out over here?

      Nana Proops here you friendly guidance counsellor, what seems to be the trouble? I’ll be in the inner chamber shortly, so form an disorderly queue if you please. Bring your handbags.

      Everyone going to Dumfries tomorrow, have a safe and happy day.
      I will of course be expecting boxes and boxes of Moffat toffees ๐Ÿ™‚

    288. Smallaxe says:


      Was that you twisting my melon?

      Btw, watch what you’re doing, I’m in a wardrobe on the Sark and I’m a wee bit worried about you going into that Tyrian purple, it’s quite a rough pub in these parts!

      Tomorrow I’ll be wearing clothes for most of the day, then I’ll be;

      You can call me Tricia.

    289. Tinto Chiel says:

      Capella: hope to have our Thomas Muir symposium at a future AUOB event. Still got my Calton Books TM badge.

    290. Tinto Chiel says:

      @Nana Proops: thanks but just a simple misunderstanding. I’m afraid my 1/2 sister is a one-woman wrecking ball. Our father was a Cossack. Are Jeddart snails ok? Moffat too far. They’re kind of minty hard toffees.

      Smallaxe: nae probs, I’ve drunk in Airdrie.

      Laters, haters!

    291. Smallaxe says:

      Hi Nana,

      Here’s one for that Hackalupoff fella,

      Van the Man and Chris Farlow;

    292. Nana says:

      Cheers Smallaxe, I will let him know.

    293. Capella says:

      @ Tinto Chiel – TM Badge smiles out at me from the dresser (in a one eyed sort of way) awaiting the symposium.
      The Tyrian purple sounds awfy bonny. I hope some pix will be uploaded for our perusal.

    294. Tinto Chiel says:

      @Capella: don’t know how to break it to you but have sold exclusive pic. rights to Paris Match.

      It’s tough being a style icon.

    295. Cactus says:

      Assemble at Freedom Square ra morra @ 9am Scottish drivers’.

      Now is SO indeed the TIME Scotland.

      12 hours remaining…

      On yer marks..




    296. Michael McCabe says:

      A wee tune for Somebody celebrating there Birthday today. Hope you are having a great day.

    297. Smallaxe says:

      Happy Birthday* Somebody,

      Same but Different;

      I wish You and those to whom you give your love, Peace, Love and Happiness*

    298. Capella says:

      @ Tinto Chiel – quelle domage! je suis desole (with an acute).

    299. Michael McCabe says:

      Evening Smallaxe sadly I cant make it down to your neck of the woods tomorrow. but I hope you all have a great day and night you lucky people. right where’s that cigarette machine.

    300. Smallaxe says:

      That’s a pity Michael, hopefully, we’ll be able to meet up at some point in our travels soon I hope.

      A birthday and a cigarette machine? Bad mixture, Michael;

      Take it easy, my friend.

    301. Smallaxe says:

      Hi, Capella,

      Not Patsy but “Crazy” just the same;

    302. Capella says:

      Hi Smallaxe – Crazy is as Crazy does. Have a good day in the deep south tomorrow. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Sweet Dreams:

    303. Cactus says:

      Back by popular demandage,

      Howzat iConvoy comin’ along Glasgow.

      Aye have yer number Wallace!

      Thank U William.

    304. William Wallace says:

      @ Cactus

      That number should begin zero seven seven five seven

    305. cearc says:

      I hope youse all have a great day in Dumfries today. Gorgeous weather here, if a tad too hot.

      Sorry I can’t be there but two or three nights away right now is not doable. Incubators to watch, eggs due to move from incubating incubator to hatching incubator, ducklings foisted onto another duck to watch, a trio of motherless chicks.

    306. Smallaxe says:


      Motherless chicks? Here’s some motherless children.
      Eric Clapton;

      Sorry, you can’t make it today, but I know you’ll be there in spirit like so many others.

    307. Capella says:

      Good morning campers. You all in Dumfries yet?

      I didn’t realise last night that there’s a better quality Roy Buchanan clip “Sweet Dreams” – wearing a tam o shanter on stage in Texas. Check out his Hey Joe and Roy’s Bluz for further Telecaster brilliance.

    308. Michael McCabe says:

      @ Capella if you like the Telecaster Check out Danny Gatton on you tube. Some People say he was the best but maybe they were just Nit pickin.

    309. Dave McEwan Hill says:

      Surely Roy Buchanan’s best


    310. Capella says:

      @ Michael McCabe @ Dave McEwan Hill – I love a twangy guitar well played. Danny Gatton certainly is a virtuoso. And that Alvin Lee showstopper from Woodstock is brilliant. I saw it at the cinema in Edinburgh when the film first came out.

      But I do like a bluesy style which Roy Buchanan excels with.
      What amazed me is I had never heard of him till yesterday. I put a link upthread to a 3 part bio I came across by chance.

      So will be spending the evening with a Telecaster playing its wee heart out in the background.

      Hope the Dumfries day went well.
      Looking forward to the hot debrief.

    311. Marie Clark says:

      Well folks, what a day that was in Dumfries. What a turnout. We were chatting in the car on the way up to Dumfries about turnout , one of us had heard that they were hoping for around two thousand. Estimates from the Polis are around ten thousand, and they tend to give a lower figure to the real one. TEN thousand, michty me.

      I was delighted to meet Ronnie Anderson, BDTT and Lolysmum what nice folk. Sorry that I just missed Smallaxe, and I couldnae see Tinto in his purple creation anywhere. Never mind, maybe next time. Ronnie, thank you for your very kind offer of some coloured water, which unfortunately I coulnae accept. It must have been guid though, fur a saw ye dancin aboot tae yin o’ the bands later on.

      I haven’t enjoyed a day oot like that in a long time. There’s a wonderful feeling around in this beautiful Scotland of ours, and it’s not coming from any politician or political party. It’s coming from us, all of us. It’s comin yet fur a’ that folks.

      So much for the Britnats telling us there is no appetite for another referendum, people don’t want it. Oh aye, I met a wheen o folks the day wae ither ideas.

    312. Tinto Chiel says:

      Yes, a great day out, Marie, and a great big crowd, much more than I expected.

      Sorry I missed you but was probs still gawping in wonder at Smallaxe’s magnificent blue crocodile-skin shoes. Don’t think my late switch to a cerulean and navy blue combo really worked.

      Your second-last paragraph was spot on: folk are on the march and it’s no wonder the Britnat MSM are getting panicky. We are beyond their control.

      Never did the wee Britnats look so pathetic and irrelevant.

      All in all, a great day.

    313. Marie Clark says:

      Tinto, I saw the dude in the smart suit and blue crocodile shoes. He was standing just in front of me at one point when we were listening to some of the speakers. I wasn’t aware that it was Smallaxe, or I would have spoken to him, sigh.

      I hear son of Fluffy pontificating that it’s a disgrace that we were in Dumfries today, we should have some respect and its a conservative area. We’ll see about that one son.

    314. Tinto Chiel says:

      Never mind, Marie, there’s always Bannockburn in three weeks. Perhaps we can all meet up then.

      Can you think of anyone less relevant to Scottish political life than son of Mundell? Who cares what the Lord Snooty reject thinks?

      Someone’s got the wind up…

    315. hackalumpoff says:

      @ Smallaxe thanks for the Van the Man and Chris Farlow tune last night never heard that one before.

      Apologies for not saying cheerio today, got to the end of the park and the feet started thobbing.
      Here’s one for you and Mrs S.

      I thought Tinto was a strange colour today, I put it down to a new shade of Grecian 2000 but he said that he saw your shoes, his tan disappeared.
      Just for Tinto

      It really was a great day, these marches just get better and better, before we know it we will be marching to Westminster.

    316. Tinto Chiel says:

      @esteemed hackalumpoff (Putin stooge? Sounds a bit Russian to me).

      Quite true: felt a trifle discombobulated today either by Smallaxe’s shoes or it might have been seeing a Union Jack flying from Lochmaben town hall behind the statue of Robert The Bruce.

      Such things should not be allowed. *Grinds teeth*

      Great to see you, despite your obvious pain at OVERWORK ON THE FLOORING.

      Perhaps a loving wife or partner could make it up to you…..


    317. hackalumpoff says:

      Now then Tinto what’s this “โ€ฆ..” lost for words eh, not like you.

      Lovely watter doon here in the big city, helps lubricate the joints …

      R.A.S. Putin
      ??????????? ??????? ??????? ?????????? ?????????

    318. hackalumpoff says:

      Looks like WordPress doesn’t like Cyrillic script.
      Must go, someone’s trying to break the door down.

    319. Ian Brotherhood says:

      To all Wingers, esp on here –

      Well done today in Dumfries.

      Feels really special tonight for some reason.

      Feel up, for real, first time in a long time, and it’s good!

      Really *feels* like we’re getting close to the end-game, if we’re not already in it!

      Hoots and proper love to all youse total belters!

      Otis Redding, ‘Let Me Come On Home’ –

    320. Smallaxe says:

      Hi Folks,


      So close but so far apart, why didn’t you realise that the dude standing in front of you and sticking out like a pimp in a convent was me?
      The deal is, Tinto does the walking and I wear his latest sartorially extravagant creations to advertise his wares from the sweatshop he runs from a damp cellar in East Kilbride.
      I do though have to supply my own shoes, (see below).

      The Claiming of the Shoes;

      The extremely rare Scottish blue crocodile is found only in the remotest parts of the Caledonian Canal, finding one meant many years of extremely arduous and soul-destroying searching, night after night, season after season, in all weathers I sought my quarry.

      Then came that night, that wonderful beautiful night, when, at last, I set eyes upon this glorious and ancient near-mythical creature, it lay, glowing and sparkling in the soft ethereal moonlight like a perfectly cut priceless blue gemstone.

      He made a truly magnificent sight that both entranced and excited me far more than any language could possibly attempt to describe. My heart was pounding in my chest as I slowly and cautiously approached this most wondrous of all of the seemingly magical creations fashioned by mother nature over countless millennia.

      We looked at each other for what seemed like an eternity, unspoken thoughts were vibrating the very air surrounding us as we mentally weighed each other’s strengths and weaknesses.

      Glory of glories! what a moment it was when we realised that our feet were the same size and he swopped his blue shoes for my old Nike trainers.
      My only regret was that to my utter shame and embarrassment, I unforgivably neglected to carry a spare pair of shoes for which I could have obtained the other pair of shoes from his back feet for my good friend, business partner and Manky Mate, Tinto Chiel, shoe fetishist extraordinaire!

      A great day spent with great people, I thank you all for the music played above and dedicate this song (again) to all of you, whether I met you or had the privilege of sharing an inspiring and happy day with you on yet another stepping stone taking us closer to our long-awaited dream becoming the reality of Scotland regaining Her rightful independence.

      I wish Peace and Love for you, marchers on the road to freedom and all who were with you in spirit.


    321. Big Phil says:

      Talkin about shoes,stood outside the central tonight havin a wee smoke, three rail staff doing the same,they started slagging off a wee homeless guy,saying “look at his trainers ,brand new ,ye can always tell them cunts are no real”, I listened and heard them say more shit. I just turned an said ,” Maybe someone gave him the shoes”, Riddies all round. Every one of them might think better tonight.
      well done you lot today, I had to go to a nawbags stag-do but i was with you all in spirit, and by feck you did us proud. We’ll get there. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    322. Marie Clark says:

      Mornin one and all. My, my Smallaxe, that’s a fair auld tale aboot the crocodile. Sad that you forgot to get the ither pair o’shin for our sartorial friend Tinto.

      Sad guys, that I can’t make it to Bannockburn, John and I have a previous engagement. Friends Ruby Wedding do that day and invitation already accepted, but I’ll be with you in spirit. Speaking of Ruby Weddings, it’s oors,that’s John and me in case you’re wondering, in August. It’s also baith oor big 70 birthdays tae. Nae romantic gestures from him, unlike Chick McGregor last year. But we’re haein a do o’ wur ain. I’ve nae idea how we’ve got here at a’. Man time flies right enough.

      Roll on Indyref2, I’d like to see and Independent Scotland afore I hiv tae pop off. Would be nice to know that we’ve left a better future for all of our children and grandchildren.

    323. Tinto Chiel says:

      “Sticking out like a pimp in a convent”: nice one, Smallaxe.

      Just a few points about your magnificent purple prose:

      1: “Business partner”. Hadn’t noticed. I must be one o yon sleeping ones *eyes bank statement in dismay*.

      2:”Damp cellar in East Kilbride”: it’s a grand magasin de souliers, as any fule kno. It’s always wet/snowing in EK.

      3: “Shoe fetishist”: surely a fellow can eye up your Guccis without being considered weird?

      Nice to meet so many Wingers and William Wallace for the first time but sorry I didn’t get the chance to chat with you. Got taigled with a pal from Hamilton and then you were away. Safe journey back ablaw the dyke.

      This is for the raggle-taggle bunch with their wee flegs.

      “Sad that you forgot to get the ither pair oโ€™shin for our sartorial friend Tinto.” Still seething, Marie but hackalumpoff’s water is helping.

      Off to crush a grape.

    324. Tinto Chiel says:

      “Sticking out like a pimp in a convent”: nice one, Smallaxe.

      Just a few points about your magnificent purple prose:

      1: “Business partner”. Hadn’t noticed. I must be one o yon sleeping ones *eyes bank statement in dismay*.

      2:”Damp cellar in East Kilbride”: it’s a grand magasin de souliers, as any fule kno. It’s always wet/snowing in EK.

      3: “Shoe fetishist”: surely a fellow can eye up your Guccis without being considered weird?

      Nice to meet so many Wingers and William Wallace for the first time but sorry I didn’t get the chance to chat with you. Got taigled with a pal from Hamilton and then you were away. Safe journey back ablaw the dyke.

      This is for the raggle-taggle bunch with their wee flegs.

      “Sad that you forgot to get the ither pair oโ€™shin for our sartorial friend Tinto.” Still seething, Marie but hackalumpoff’s water is helping.

      Off to crush a gr@pe.

    325. John Young says:

      Great Day in Dumfries yesterday. Long shot, but if any of you Off Topic Wingers know ‘Colin Alexander’who posts on Wings could you ask him to get in touch with me. Facebook or Twitter ‘John7Young’ Thanks

    326. Dave McEwan Hill says:

      Had an alarming episode today. Having a nice coffee in the Burgh Hall Cafe in Dunoon when couple from dahn south engaged us in conversation. They have just moved into Cowal (like thousands of others from dahn south)and have heard that Putin owns several of the care homes here, those evil Moslems are building a mosque in Stronaway (I added fuel to the flames by confirming that the Syria refugees on Bute are looking for a suitable premises for same) and that the same Moslems have bought Inverchaolin church at the head of Loch Striven. As God is my judge. All total bollocks.

      We have to get out of this union before we are swamped.

    327. Dave McEwan Hill says:

      “Inverchaolain” is the correct spelling,of course

    328. Colin Alexander says:

      @John Young

      Hello, I rarely use twitter, but I’ve followed you just a minute ago, seeing as you asked for me.

    329. Tinto Chiel says:

      @DMH: hee, hee.

      You would have enjoyed the positive vibes in Dumfries, yesterday, Dave and I heard a lot of English voices IN the march, just like in Glasgow but there are warmers/village idiots everywhere. You only had to see the plank in the manky Union Jackstika jerkin with his nasty wee crew at Burns’ statue.

      I feel a rising tide after the last two marches and an increasing number will be borne along in the current.

      Roll on Stirling/Bannockburn.

    330. William Wallace says:

      Rare turnoot in Dumfries and was really nice to meet some of you at last (albeit briefly). Went away back doon the road to the Solway coast to finish off my wee holiday and to get a last game o bingo in at the entertainment complex (never won bugger all as usual).

      Hope everyone had a great day and got home safe and sound.

    331. Dave McEwan Hill says:

      Tinto Chiel at 6.50

      Momentum is what wins the battles and huge public identification is better than all the leaflets and all the disputed facts and figures.

    332. Tinto Chiel says:

      @DMH: spot on. And don’t forget Yes ridicule and mockery (as we have discussed before) of Britnat lies and liars.

      The simple facts of Mundell’s perfidy, as laid bare by The Rev recently re Young’s, should ensure his electoral extinction once the douce burghers of Stranraer, Dumfries, Dalbeattie, Annan and Gretna etc. get informed.

    333. Colin Alexander says:

      Just a couple of observations regarding the marches.

      The Dumfries march seemed just the right distance.

      I feel chants like: “what do we want? Independence” is preferable to: “Tories out” or comments about David Mundell.

      Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to defend Mr Mundell but, this is about achieving sovereignty / independence for Scotland and I don’t think personal remarks about politicians are helpful in that respect – especially if any “rude” words are used to describe him.

      It’s a pro-independence march and rally, not an anti-Tory protest march. We have so much to be positive about and the marches have been incredibly positive so, I just feel that’s something we can continue to build on.

      What do others think?

    334. Dave McEwan Hill says:

      Colin Alexander at 10.32

      Agree entirely

    335. Dave McEwan Hill says:

      Sitting here sweating and praying for this heavy rain we have been promised. I see it is nearly midnight and it is 68 degrees in Dunoon

      Then I remembered my 15 years in the north of Nigeria and praying like most of the population for the rains to start.
      I remember being in the Central Hotel in Kano having a nice cold Star beer at 2 in the morning with a temperature recording 102. So I just checked and its only about 90 in Northern Nigeria as of 23:47 Quite cool really.

      BTW You can get a Star Beer in the Calabash bar and restaurant in Union Street in Glasgow. It’s a brilliant lager. Had three after the big Glasgow march.

    336. Michael McCabe says:

      @ Colin Alexander 10:32pm wear ear muffs and gies peace.

    337. Welsh Sion says:

      Apologies that this BBC (others can archive better than me), but thought some of you might be interested to know what our neighbours think. (There might be links to the more scientific stuff elsewhere). Interesting too that this follows on a “Royal” Wedding (yadder, yadder) and Stu’s Panelbase reports.

    338. Smallaxe says:

      Welsh Sion, Archived for you.

    339. X_Sticks says:

      Suggested this to Jock late last night. Had it out on YewTube by this morning! What a man.

      Big wave to all those at Dumfries this weekend. Great to see such a big Wings turnout there.

      Hopefully see all the rest of you at Bannockburn. ๐Ÿ™‚

    340. William Wallace says:

      Hackalumpoff was asking if I’d brought any poetry with me to the Dumfries gathering and aboot my lack of poetry contributions on aff topic. I didnae hae any to hand on the day so I thought I’d write a wee ditty for aff topic when I got hame. It’s a bit rough – but aff the cuff ๐Ÿ™‚

      Come and join us.

      Come and join us, Come and join us
      and we will surely welcome you
      Come and join us, Come and join us
      the grass roots indy crew

      Ninety thousand marched in Glasgow
      Ten thousand in Dumfries
      Join us next in
      and then

      The movement’s getting stronger
      It’s diverse and open too
      and all we need
      to really succeed
      Is us and of course you.

      Don’t stay behind your windows
      and watch as we march by
      Get yir banners and flags
      and your gladrags
      C’mon and don’t be shy

      For you’ll be made most welcome
      and you’ll find we’re just like you
      Wir ah just Scots
      wi the same feelings and thoughts
      so join us as we pass through

      Come and join us, Come and join us
      and we will surely welcome you
      Come and join us, Come and join us
      the grass roots indy crew

      Let us not be divided
      by those who talk us doon
      Let’s walk together
      and hae a wee blether
      as we march right through yir toon

      It doesnae matter aboot religion
      or the colour o yir skin
      Yir futba team
      or yir current scene
      or the folk that you call kin

      There’s one thing that brings us together
      It’s this land we call wir hame
      So let’s unite
      and keep up the fight
      to run this country on wir ain

      Wir no too poor or stupid
      and wir certainly no too wee
      Wir Scots and proud
      so lets sing it out loud
      We want Scotland to be free

      Come and join us, Come and join us
      and we will surely welcome you
      Come and join us, Come and join us
      the grass roots indy crew

    341. hackalumpoff says:

      @ William Wallace (the younger) I enjoyed our chat on Saturday.
      I have a tune to go with your poem, Eric Bogle’s jaunty ditty:

      I’m sure you and “Yew Choob-Jock Scot” could merge the two for the next March.

      I could even try and get Mrs H to sing it, to raise some cash for Ronnie Anderson’s Flat screen TVs.

    342. William Wallace says:

      @ Hackalumpoff (The Elder) ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Was really nice to meet you and have a wee chat.

      The song you mention is basically the song I had in mind when I wrote it but, it was the Corries version. “The Scottish BBQ”.

    343. Smallaxe says:

      William Wallace (the younger) & Hackalumpoff (the elder)

      Try this;
      The Marmalade:”Cousin Norman”

      Smallaxe (over 21)

    344. William Wallace says:

      @ Sma

      Ehm afraid ehm gonna hiv tae ask ye fir some ID. You dinnae look a day over sweet sixteen. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    345. William Wallace says:

      That’ll get you in the door Sma but, you’ll have to hae pint o coke and a packet o crisps wi the rest o the young anes.

      I’ll take care o that bottle o Remy Martin for ya in the meantime ๐Ÿ˜‰

    346. Tinto Chiel says:

      Paranoia Corner:

      A few weeks ago I got the first of two visits from a rather pushy guy who said he was from IPSOS/MORI and was conducting a survey about television viewing habits. I told him I didn’t have any since I didn’t watch TV. He asked if he could ask me other more general questions about the media. I said I had no time.

      About a fortnight later he reappeared at tea time and asked me if he could come in to ask his questions. I said no because I reminded him I didn’t watch TV and ‘cos we were eating.

      On Monday a Nice Mature Lady arrived when my domestic handler was in the garden and started the same spiel with the same results. When my wife said, “We don’t watch TV,” NML said quite a lot of people were saying that and she was just checking the figures/returns of the first guy.

      Mrs TC found the whole thing rather strange and we both began to wonder if this was a sneakier way of checking up on those who have disclosed they don’t need a licence because they’ve simply stopped watching.

      Of course, I could just be a suspicious, miserable old git…

      *Tries out charming, boyish smile in mirror*

    347. Clapper57 says:

      Hi Guys favour to ask.

      My son has done a wee video recreation of some world cup goals on YouTube. ( sorry cannot link onto here).

      Can I ask you have a wee peek.

      Go into YouTube type in….. andy sherlow world cup moments.


    348. Ian Brotherhood says:

      @Clapper57 –

      Ye didny make that easy to find man!

      Anyway, it is soo-perb, well done tae yer lad and his mates, must’ve taken ages to do and they’re all obviously very talented footballers themselves. Brilliant.

      Just about to copy it to the Twitter, so hope you see a lot more viewers.

      Hoots mon!

    349. William Wallace says:

      @ Tinto.

      You might be on to something there.

    350. Tinto Chiel says:

      Thanks for those, William. Loved the responses by the resident to the creep. Must hone them for next time.

      The description of the behaviour of the “IPSOS/MORI” guy was similar to mine: pushy and itching to get in. Clearly an attempt to gather “evidence” hem, hem of TV use.

      Don’t they understand millions of people feel so much better because we no longer watch their lies and propaganda?

      Cue Peter Finch rant from Network……….

    351. Tinto Chiel says:


      If only life were like that.

    352. cearc says:


      Over 30 yrs. ago my three primary school childen were stopped in a quiet country road between where the school taxi dropped them off and our house ‘by a lady’ who asked them what TV they liked.

      The littlest one promptly burst into tears and sobbed that the TV was broken and mummy wasn’t going to get another until after the summer and he had to go to his friend’s house to watch whatever.

      Yep, they stoop that low questioning 5yr olds in the street.

    353. Clapper57 says:

      @ Ian Brotherhood

      Oops sorry if you had hassle finding this .

      Glad you enjoyed it….a lot of time and effort was put into making this. My son says to pass on his thanks for you taking the time to watch it, your feedback and adding it onto your twitter a/c.

      Really really appreciate you looking at it and adding onto your twitter a/c……said it before and will say it again you are one of the good guys.

      Hope you have a great day

    354. Cactus says:

      My iScot arrived thru my letterbox seventeen minutes ago ๐Ÿ™‚

      “Please be YES for ME, Grannie”

      Ahm workin’ on ‘The Big Yin’.

      Nice timing Ken n co.


    355. Fred says:

      @ Clapper, a great film, Mundell must have been under his bed!

    356. Tinto Chiel says:

      @Clapper 57: still think Wee Archie’s goal was the best…..

      Great stuff.

      And yet, and yet, cearc: my oldest pal , while living in Embra, kept getting nuisance letters from the TV licensing lot demanding access to check he had no TV. He eventually gave up and took a day off work so they could pay a visit. He didn’t have one because a) he had a social life and b) he thought TV was generally crap.

      For some reason, however, he believed in the all-seeing powers of the TV detector vans and thought these guys had a right to get in to check up on you. I simply said, “Well, if they have such fantastic detector vans they must know you don’t have a TV, so why did you let strangers into your flat?”

      It’s just about the first time I’ve ever given someone a light-bulb moment.

      “Lower than a snake’s belly” seems to sum up Yon Lady’s tactics with kids, eh?

    357. Clapper57 says:

      @Fred & Tinto Chiel

      Cheers guys for checking out video and for your above comments.

      My son also says to pass on his thanks to you both.

      Have a great day guys.

    358. William Wallace says:

      @ Clapper

      Cool vid. Gave it a thumbs up. How long were they out practicing for? ๐Ÿ™‚

    359. Clapper57 says:

      @ William Wallace

      Cheers. Big thanks for watching video and your comment….son sends thanks too for taking time to watch it.

      Re time taken…this was shot over a few days ….they were good but not THAT good to do it in one take or even one day !!!

      The logistics of getting everyone there at same time and trying to book venue’s availability was a bit of a nightmare.

      My son is mad football fan…not mad as in Hun mad obvs…just loves it… but more importantly he and his friends all support Indy for Scotland.

      Have a great evening

    360. cearc says:


      It might be fun if you drop a line to IPSO MORI complaining about being repeatedly harassed to do a poll.

      It would be interesting if they denied having any pollsters about.

    361. Tinto Chiel says:

      @cearc: good idea. By chance ๐Ÿ˜‰ I kept the original handouts from Operative No.1 explaining the rationale etc of their groovy poll.

      Don’t think they can deny the visits, given the amounts of shiny plastic ID cards and lanyards flying about.

      *Looks out Waterman pen he got for Christmas*

    362. Tinto Chiel says:

      I model my letter-writing skills on this guy’s, btw:

      Awaiting hammers…

    363. William Wallace says:

      @ Clapper

      I’m another ane that’s futba daft. You need to be to support the Dees season after season. ๐Ÿ™‚ They done well to recreate the goals. I thought it might have took a bit of time.

      On the topic o Futba, congratulations to Scotland in their women’s world cup qualifier tonight with a 2-1 victory over Belarus.

      Have a great evening yourself.

    364. Michael McCabe says:

      Frankie Miller I got Dreams-Live

    365. hackalumpoff says:

      I don’t know if this is real or scripted but it’s well worth listening to the end.

    366. Brian Doonthetoon says:

      Hi Smallaxe.

      Thanks for your hospitality at Dumfries last weekend. It kept me going till Monday morning, the last day of my l-o-n-g weekend.


    367. Smallaxe says:

      Brian Doonthetoon,

      You’re welcome, Brian I’ll have to carry more in my hip flask in future.

    368. Brian Doonthetoon says:

      Hi Smallaxe.

      I do know the Tom Petty version but can’t be @r$โ‚ฌd Googling who did it originally.

      Your hip flask –


    369. Smallaxe says:

      Hi Brian,

      That song was written by Tom Petty and Jeff Lynn, there have been quite a few people who covered it.

      “But It’s Alright”
      The Traveling Wilburys Bob Dylan, Jeff Lynne, Tom Petty, Roy Orbisรณn y George Harrison;

    370. Thepnr says:


      Here’s a tune you might like ๐Ÿ™‚

    371. Thepnr says:


      I’ve got you babe, yeah so you huv lol. Class, here’s why I like Chrissie Hynd. Back to my youth ๐Ÿ™‚

    372. Michael McCabe says:

      I wont wait I think she means it.

    373. Thepnr says:

      @Michael McCabe

      Hey You! Hope your keeping well, where do you find these songs? That young lass was great.

      Keep it up number one Wings Jukebox Player ๐Ÿ™‚

    374. Thepnr says:


      I’d put a fiver on it that you met her at one time?

    375. Smallaxe says:

      I never had the pleasure, pnr.

      Michael, she does mean it;

    376. Michael McCabe says:

      Morning Thepnr Morning Smallaxe Best wishes to you both. here is a wee cover of a famous song from years ago.

    377. Smallaxe says:

      Hi Michael, I hope you’re well, my friend.

      Here’s Buffy, still going aged 77;

      The War Racket;

    378. Michael McCabe says:

      Smallaxe that was really good. 77 she still has it. anyway I will leave you with a cracking cover of an Adele song Loving the Double Bass Solo.

    379. Tinto Chiel says:

      Morning, vile seps. Great party you had last night but who ate all the grapes?

      Going to Bute today to commune with nature and hug any available standing stones.

      Heard this yesterday for the first time in ages and loved the guitar. It certainly wakes you up. As soon as you hear the voice you know it’s CCR.

    380. Tinto Chiel says:

      Morning, vile seps. Great party you had last night but who ate all the gr@pes?

      Going to Bute today to commune with nature and hug any available standing stones.

      Heard this yesterday for the first time in ages and loved the guitar. It certainly wakes you up. As soon as you hear the voice you know it’s CCR.

    381. Michael McCabe says:

      Tinto happy hugging ?

    382. Thepnr says:

      Have a good day Tinto.

      Give Mick, Ronnie, Charlie and Keith a big hug from me too.

    383. Tinto Chiel says:

      @Michael&Thepnr: shucks, you guys!

      Stones now rebranded as The Strolling Bones.

      Just heading off so see you on The Other Side.

      St Blane’s ya bass.

    384. Smallaxe says:


      Many thanks for droning over this video of your tree-loving group.

      Do they have branches everywhere bud?

    385. Thepnr says:


      Hahahaha for fucksake. Nothing like a good wail and nash.

    386. Smallaxe says:


      His barks not as bad as his (tree) blight;

      I hope he doesn’t twig.

    387. Thepnr says:

      Time once again for another clip from one of the best films ever made based on the Cairns toon ๐Ÿ™‚

    388. Smallaxe says:

      A wee peace offering for Tinto,

      Loreena McKennitt:”Standing Stones”

      Ah wis gonnae play “Thick as a Brick”!

    389. Tinto Chiel says:

      Lagging my spheres off on the Isle of B at those mad hippies. I’m not so understated of course. When I scweam, I weally scweam.

      Ents, ya bass.

    390. Tinto Chiel says:

      Laffing obvs.

    391. The Proctor Lewis says:

      Hey Small Axe.

      Keep that axe sharp brother!

      Someone just dug a pit.

    392. yesindyref2 says:

      Mmm, nasty people keep taking my stock and giving me money instead, shocking, simply shocking. I can’t keep it up.

      Come to Scotland, it’s heaving.

    393. Smallaxe says:

      The Proctor Lewis,

      Real sharp, as always, my good friend. I trust that you’re misbehaving as usual. Or are you an
      “Innocent Man”
      I hope all is well with you and yours.

    394. Smallaxe says:


      Noo ye’ve goat mi feart!

      Man eaten by midges: Scotland’s most ferocious predator;

      Wir gonny need a bigger…Whit?

    395. yesindyref2 says:

      That’s good stuff, poor advice about the SSS of course, but I would say that.

      I’m working on a secret project to breed midgies that only bite NO voters.

      Shhh, don’t tell anyone, it’s a WMD secret.

    396. Smallaxe says:


      “Your Secrets Safe With Me”

      Honest guv!

    397. yesindyref2 says:

      That’s kind of mellow and ice cold in the Leidseplein.

    398. Smallaxe says:

      I’ve spent many happy hours there but I’m buggered if I can remember anything.

      Space Cake?

    399. yesindyref2 says:

      Not for me thanks, that was before a couple of times. No, just the leafy type. Did visit the Milky Way a few times, in more ways than one.

    400. cearc says:

      A lone figure sat spinning his discs in the morning.

      An isle of tranquility in the sea of empty bottles and ashtrays of the night before.

    401. Clapper57 says:

      Just watched a video of sneaky Sarah Smith at SNP conference asking delegates et al if they would be supporting England in World cup………..did any one just tell her ‘No because I am not English’….and if she used the old ‘but you ARE British’ chestnut…..would be easy to then say ‘No I do not see myself as British which should be evident given that I am here as a member of SNP at the SNP conference’…..simples……could she argue with that logic ?

      I noticed some people seemed embarrassed to concede they would not be supporting England….why the fcuk should they be…..forget agenda Smith… any Scot viewing this contrived shit it is obvious why they would not support them if they are at a party conference of a political party who seeks independence from a union with the country that SMITH thinks we should be on side with in a football competition and where if Scotland had qualified she would not even be asking as would be glaringly obvious the answer … ….political editor ?…. aye right .

      Rant over…..until next one.

    402. Smallaxe says:

      Rant Read…until the next one;

      Even the English don’t support their own team!

    403. Clapper57 says:

      @ Smallaxe

      Yeh… your link this happens all the time…..they bum them up then crucify them when they don’t (can’t) deliver……England expects…..will never change…….nothing wrong with hope but with them it is entitlement and when they don’t (can’t) deliver…..oh my God the verbal brutality is so so so much more than anything even Sarah Smith could try and cook up via an Indy supporting Scot at an SNP conference.

      Correct me if I am wrong but at the AUOB in Glasgow were you the dapper gentleman I saw in hat and suit behind WOS stall ….apologies if you were not…..was going to speak to you but you and others looked busy so I didn’t bother.

      Have a great day

    404. Smallaxe says:


      If you mean the guy in the blue suit and fedora, yes that was me, I wish you had introduced yourself it’s always good to put a face to the names. Maybe next time my friend.

      Enjoy your evening.

    405. Gary45% says:

      Anyone got any images of the London, Manchester and Birmingham skylines from 1975 and 2017 to compare with Aberdeen, Edinburgh and Glasgow in the same years.
      It would be interesting to see how the skylines have changed since North Sea Oil came ashore.
      I have had a look on google( not much success.)

    406. cearc says:

      Is it true? Have we really just beaten England at cricket?

    407. Brian Doonthetoon says:


      WordPress didn’t like the TinyURL I created of that long link.

    408. Brian Doonthetoon says:

      I was catching up on the main page and read a comment, that had me thinking, “That reads like Tinto Chiel.”

      So I scrolled back and, right enough, it was composed, typed and published by Tinto Chiel.

      The giveaway was the mention of “codpiece”.

    409. Tinto Chiel says:

      @BDTT: guilty as charged, mon vieux. God knows, I know I’m predictable.

      Depends on your reading of codpiece, obvs.

      @cearc: it seems to be true. When I was young and beautiful, I was an all-rounder at cricket: couldn’t bat, couldn’t bowl, couldn’t field ๐Ÿ˜› .

      It’s a great game, and I speak as a vile sep. Unless you’ve batted against a guy who bowls at 85+mph at your head/organs of generation, you haven’t really smelt the fear.

      I actually couldn’t give a Carmichael about any of it now. I’m afraid this independence thing has tended to dominate everything, as it should.

      That latest I-Scot cover, Please be YES for ME Grannie, is a very powerful image, worthy of hoardings all over Scotland.

    410. Welsh Sion says:

      Something someone other than me – Ah’m no’ Sco’ish – can get their teeth into.

      A tour company is offering a 9 day Edinburgh, Highlands & Islands train journey from ยฃ1 425. Features include:

      Days 1-3 After our visit [to Duart Castle, the ancestral home of the Maclean Clan] we enjoy a Whiskey [sic] tasting at our hotel


      Days 8-9 We enjoy a farewell dinner as part of a “Scottish Evening”. For this, we are regaled by a Scottish piper with fascinating Scottish stories and snippets of local history.


      Now, even I as a non-Scot, feel a wee boak coming on reading such guff โ€ฆ and as for sampling “whiskey” in Scotland! Wouldn’t it be better in Ireland?!


      Tour operator’s contact details:
      Telephone: (01904) 734 204.

      Raising my glass of (proper) whisky in your direction, friends!

    411. Nana says:

      @ William Wallace

      Did a quick search for you, see below. They donโ€™t make it easy to find specific surgery details for each msp. Your best bet may be to contact sp [dot] info [at] scottish [dot] parliament [dot] uk to request the information directly or as suggested below ask at your local library. Not sure if each library will only have details pertaining to the local msp or if they have information covering all areas.

    412. Fred says:

      Did Mandelson not famously order guacamole with his cod-pieces in that English east-coast chippy?

    413. Tinto Chiel says:

      Was looking for some brown sauce for your chips, Fred but this was all I could find:

    414. Tinto Chiel says:

      Not all Hammonds are dull and boring:

    415. Fred says:

      Connemara Tinto?

    416. Nana says:

      @William, I posted a list for you, must be stuck in the dark place! Unfortunately I can’t recall all the links.

      The information is not so easy to find. I found within one pdf doc that your local library should have the dates and times for your msp, whether or not the information is available for all msps is another thing. My advice would be to contact the parliament and ask for the information you require.

      sp [dot] info [at] scottish [dot] parliament [dot] uk

      Also google the following

      msp surgery dates and times

    417. Tinto Chiel says:

      Fred:I think I’m mainly Donegal on my mother’s side ๐Ÿ˜› .

    418. William Wallace says:

      @ Nana. Thank you very much for helping me out. Really appreciate it. I have been struggling to find all the data in one place. I thought it would be readily available but, I may have to piece it together bit by bit. Again, thank you.

    419. Tinto Chiel says:

      Psst! Fancy some “dirty” Hammond?

    420. Ian Brotherhood says:

      @TC –

      The tune was familiar right away but I’d never have guessed that was Steve Winwood.

      That’s why I love this place. It’s like The Twitter – never do know what’s gonny pop-up next.

      Hope to see you in Stirling mister!


    421. Tinto Chiel says:

      Indeed, Ian, with my new telescopic flagpoles (if A____n can get their finger out in time).

      Hope Smallaxe wears another stunning pair of Guccis from his extensive footwear collection. I mean, blue croc-skin…..

    422. Fred says:

      Donegal where the men are six feet tall! Dunno aboot the wummin?

    423. Smallaxe says:


      Shoes: The reason for!

      Bet he’s in bed… winceyette jammies…dreaming of trees…and big stanes…and wee burds…and big words…and…
      probably snoring like an asthmatic warthog with a displaced nasal septum.

    424. Nana says:

      @William Walllace

      My reply to you yesterday morning has appeared. Hopefully there might be something there to help you.

    425. Fred says:

      Very nice to be sure, to be sure! Smallaxe

    426. Tinto Chiel says:

      Morning, Smallaxe. Raining here for the first time in ages but the plants need it.

      Glad you are perky this morning. Later I may be pinky.

      It’s quite clear from the charming vignette of self wot you rote that you have confabulated with my wife, sirrah.

      Good job I don’t know what it means. May have to consult these guys, though:

    427. Stravaiger says:

      @Daisy Walker

      Will you be at AOUB at Bannockburn or Inverness? Any chance of meeting up? There’s something I’d like to chat about.

    428. Smallaxe says:


      Try “Private Investigations”

      You can’t beat private dick, ooh matron!

    429. Tinto Chiel says:

      Smallaxe, your jokes are becoming as sublime as that-there Fred’s.

      DYK that Muff Winwood (steady) was the producer of Dire Straits early albums, as well as being bassist in Spencer Davis Group and obvs Stevie’s bruvver?

      And that Spencer himself is a strong supporter of Plaid Cymru?

      Verily, life is but a dark pool where we barely perceive the dimly distant evanescent fish of truth (peotry).

    430. Smallaxe says:

      SWMBO has just ‘asked’ me to take her to the garden centre, on pain of ear nipping!

      Oh naw!

      Laters taters.

    431. Fred says:

      Mighty Fine Smallaxe!

      The Salmon of Wisdom Tinto!

    432. Smallaxe says:

      The Tinto of Salmon;

      Reggae Shark Returns;

      Shark for sale: sick squid ono, no time wasters, please.

    433. Tinto Chiel says:

      That’s very Highland River of you, Fred.

      Poor Smallaxe: I doubt we’ll see him again if he’s had the full Garden Centre Experience. He was a man, take him for all in all, we shall not look upon his like again.

      Or his shoes, ftm.

    434. Tinto Chiel says:

      Oh, you’re back! Please disregard my last elegant and elegiac remarks.

      “Sick squid ono.” : oh, dear…

    435. Smallaxe says:


      You’ll probably know what this guy’s singing about;

      Paolo Conte:”Via Con Me”

      Would you like salt and vinegar…pickled onion?

    436. Fred says:

      @ Tinto “Ken!” ken.

    437. Smallaxe says:


      If you think sick squid was bad, wait till you meet Jack the Kipper.

      Ye feart noo?

      Don’t mention the Garden Centre…FFS, start a crowdfund!

    438. Tinto Chiel says:

      Spooky: just back from sudden visit to local garden centre ordered by SWIMBO. Telepathy I tell you. Nothing bought, though so CWoT.

      Fred I ken, Kenn, ken? And I don’t come fae Fife, ken? I won’t even mention hazel nuts.

      That’s song is all about an Italian importuning a young woman, Smallaxe. Quite shocking but I’m broadminded.

      “Jack the Kipper” ๐Ÿ˜›

    439. Smallaxe says:

      “Thatโ€™s song is all about an Italian importuning a young woman, Smallaxe. Quite shocking but Iโ€™m broadminded.”

      I thought it was a Frenchman ordering a special fish with chips!

      ‘Broadminded’, it’s not just your mind, Tinto, bus and back-end of, springs to mind.

      “Won’t waste my time feeling sorry for him
      I’ve seen the other side to being thin
      Roll us both down a mountain and I’m sure the fat man would win”

      The choice of song in this comment is purely coincidental, all characters are fictitious, except for those that aren’t.

    440. Tinto Chiel says:

      But, Smallaxe, you said I filled out those taupe crushed velvet culottes beautifully…..

      *Sniffs into hankie*

    441. Smallaxe says:

      Tinto, I was only jesting with you, old fruit, please,

      Don’t Cry for Me;

      Now don’t go saying that I played that song to make you melancholy because you started with a head like a melon and a face like a collie.
      only jesting, honest guv!

    442. Tinto Chiel says:

      Forgiven and forgotten already, Smallaxe *stares nervously at profile in mirror*.

      Life is but a melancholy flower, indeed. Or a melon-cauliflower, I forget which.

    443. Smallaxe says:

      Life is like an ashtray, full of little doubts(doughts?).

      I like this…a lot,

      I’m now going for a little nap of exhaustion due to post-traumatic garden centre syndrome.

      Can’t live with them, can’t strangle them. Seh lavvee (French)

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