The world's most-read Scottish politics website

Wings Over Scotland

Go and meet the clowns

Posted on November 11, 2017 by

Today’s Cairnstoon will be along a little later. But in the meantime, if you’re anywhere in the vicinity of Glasgow (or if you’re not, but hurry), today offers a rare opportunity go along and physically touch the magical drawing fingers of the artist himself, as Mr Cairns takes time out from his busy schedule of holidays to launch the second volume of his splendid sketchings, alongside other beloved Wings contributors Greg Moodie and the esteemed Wee Ginger Dug (plus his human butler Paul Kavanagh).

(Please note that Mr Cairns is currently carrying a rather painful spinal injury probably incurred during an an overenthusiastic golf swing, so we respectfully ask any readers who may be planning particularly expressive bearhugs or backslaps to ca’ canny.)

Print Friendly, PDF & Email

45 to “Go and meet the clowns”

  1. SOG says:

    To me, the Colonel looks like a stroppy toddler, which I find perfect.

  2. starlaw says:

    Oh aye. All in it together, well done Chris, may your back grow all the stronger.

  3. Ruglonian says:

    I’ll be going along to look for a wee Hamish soft toy, as I unfortunately missed his earlier crowdfunder – see you there folks!

  4. How can we be sure that this is not a Secret Service ruse to get us all in the one room?
    The Royal Family fly in separate planes don’t they?
    We risk losing almost the entire YES Movement Communications Team if we display all our Large Free Range in the one Yes Bar Basket like this.
    I’m bringing my Yooncruncher just in case.
    Ah, The Gathering. There can only be one, Scotland that is.
    Here’s to a brill day.
    I demand Tayto cheese ‘n’ onion , Stu.

  5. X_Sticks says:

    Already have my copy of this wonderful, very shiny, very funny publication. I’m amazed that a slacker like that Cairns chap can manage to get his shit together long enough to put something this good together. That said I believe that very nice, hard working Greg Moodie probably did most of the work while Cairns was swanning about on some (semi) tropical island.

  6. Ken500 says:

    Well done. Great publication.

    The tax evading Barclay brothers – Telegraph is supporting a Christmas Appeal for charity, The fecking, greedy hypocrites. Lying lowlives. Non Dom tax evaders starving people and destroying the world economy. Scrooge.

  7. Clootie says:

    …now these are scary clowns!

  8. Abulhaq says:

    Scottish nationalists and Scottish nationalism generally needs to improve ‘the game’ whether intellectually, culturally or strategically.
    If mega political capital cannot be made out of the current establishment ‘godsend of a mess’ independence will remain an old man’s pipe dream.
    We seem to have too comfortable a relationship with the repressive forces we would be rid of.
    Change in our status will not be effected via the ballot box alone, it is naïve to think otherwise.
    Alex Salmond’s RT venture is wonderfully subversive.The very best of good luck to him!

  9. Capella says:

    What a star studded weekend this is for Wingers, Cairnstoon in Glasgow and the evening of unrivalled splendour in Broughty (?). Too far away for we Northern North Britons, or Picts as we used to be called. But hope you all have a happy get-together. I do have my copy of Send in the Clowns to put a smile on my face.
    Thanks Chris for all your hard work. These holidays are so inspiring.

  10. Ken500 says:

    RT will have another million viewers. Same as Sky.

  11. Robert Peffers says:

    Aye! Bring oan the Clowns richt enuch.

    Maist o yon clowns cam frae yon famous Piccadilly Circus o London whaur the lichts gaed oot offeeshially oan 17 Jan 2017.

    Whit leaves us wi this bunch o numpties frae oot o Holyrood.

  12. ronnie anderson says:

    We would need tae bring back Charlton Hestons 5 ringed Circus rings tae accommodate the amount of Clowns that Westminster & Holyrood have . ( is there bareback riders ) . Ok vacating the premises Aff tae Bonny Dundee noo .

  13. theMadMurph says:

    Unfortunately, I’m at the whisky festival at Hampden today!

    Wouldn’t dream of turning up afterwards stocious!

  14. RogueCoder says:

    Am I the only one who thought the article’s title referred to an open day at the Scotland Office?

  15. Macart says:

    Heh! Should be quite the meet n greet. I somehow doubt the 2-4pm bit will be stuck to right enough. 😀

  16. Daisy Walker says:

    Best wishes for the launch – your cartoons are fab.

    Re Alex Salmond – I see the rumour/shills are saying he is to be paid in Rubels, for his TV show.

    Very wise I’d say, presumably the rubel hasn’t tanked in value the way the pound has with the Tory/Brexit shambles.

    Eck’s aye been canny wi the pennies.

  17. ronnie anderson says:

    @ RogueCoder Yer oot oan ah limb there L they’re only ah branch office , we only cover the main players ,we dont want they Clowns fae the Scottish Offal looking intae Wings & thinking they’re important

  18. jfngw says:

    Sorry O/T but can’t help being amused at the ire being displayed by the MSM and particularly BBC journalist at Alec Salmond show. They are rattled that an independence supporting person will have a programme that they can’t badger, interrupt and produce fake facts on.

    I’m sure the BBC have reviews, likeminded people gather round a table and assure each other that their journalism is completely unbiased.

    Well I suppose there is certainly one difference between RT & BBC, they didn’t employ a paedophile then give him a weekly children’s show (programme on air for 19 years). Of course if only they had known they would have fixed it!

  19. Archie Maclean says:

    Killer Clowns?

  20. HandandShrimp says:

    I am hugely impressed at the amount of publicity that Alex’s programme has received. Such has the fuss been from the Yoonisphere that I can’t imagine there are many out there that are not aware that this is happening.

    Alex seemed very chipper about the guest line up too so if the guests are interesting then this will be a well watched show…including all the sour faced hypocrites who are turning their noses up right now.

  21. gus1940 says:

    Our beloved colonial masters and their fan club in the broadcast and print media are really going bananas over Eck and his RT program – they are obviously upset and worried and will be frantically digging for mud to throw.

    It’s not often that Nicola puts a foot wrong but I reckon she has with her direct criticism of ECK/RT – a gift to The Guys In The Black Hats which they will make the most of.

    Could she not have come up with something more diplomatic for when she will surely be questioned over this matter.

    Unless, of course there has been a major fallout with Eck which we haven’t been told about.

    What hasn’t been pushed so far is the fact that we have 5 terrestrial channels plus SKY all of which could have broadcast the show but obviously the act of giving the SNP publicity is strictly forbidden by their WM media controllers.

    In the meantime how about a campaign to get Virgin Media to carry RT.

  22. Dan Huil says:

    Good luck with the book launch. One of them tardis-type clown cars isn’t big enough for Colonel blimp.

    @jfngw 10:44am.

    The hypocrisy shown by British nationalist media towards Alex Salmond’s programme is astonishing, even by britnat standards. The bbc especially can’t bear to see an alternative to their britnat propaganda taking the airwaves. Britnat journalists [so-called] live in an incestuous world. Go for it, Alex!

  23. gus1940 says:

    I reckon that politicians from any of the other parties will be under strict orders not to appear with Eck plus most journalists.

    If that happens it could put a spanner in Eck’s works – it would be pointless to have a succession of SNP politicians and supporters as guests – that would be a gift to our beloved media.

  24. Chick McGregor says:

    Already got it. 🙂

    Kezia, not waving but dawning?
    Boris, only there teaching jongleurism?
    Davis, assuring us he will be the right way up very soon?
    Trump, “One word to sum up my presidency , ‘innumerate inarticulasity’.”
    Farage, curtains for him.
    Corbyn, bending over backwards to join the establishment.
    May, “Please! Any kind of exit, anywhere!”
    Ruth,”Day job? Pah! Empire biscuits, waffles and pork pies for me.”

  25. Capella says:

    George Foulkes is saying that Alex’s show is NEARLY treason, (in Stu’s twitter).

    Hugely enjoying the yoon angst over Alex Salmond’s best publicised TV show this century. A must watch. The media company has been set up by Alex and Tasmina. Good thinking. Hope the others (John Nicolson, Angus Robertson & co) get on board.

  26. HandandShrimp says:


    I think a couple of interviews are already in the bag and others already agreed and the intent is to interview people from all walks of life including showbiz. Alex said he had so many interested he could do the show three times a week not once.

    As large numbers of MPs from all parties have already appeared on RT’s main news programme I doubt they will be deterred. MPs like to talk. Journalists? I can’t say I care if they appear or not. There are very few who I would be interested in hearing.

    What is incredible is the amount of discussion generated by the show. There is so much going on and so many scandals and cock ups in government I am surprised this wasn’t relegated to one paragraph on page 17 of Greenock Telegraph. The Groaniard has three major stories on it (albeit one is a deranged hissy fit by Torrance 🙂 ).

  27. Dan Huil says:

    @Capella 11:16am

    George Foulkes is NEARLY sober?

    But it is great fun watching these britnats losing the plot.

  28. Scott says:

    Re Alex Salmond.
    I hope he invites some Tories to his program and let us see what their reply would be,maybe Ruth the Commander or Clark the new MP for Alex’s seat I bet they don’t have the guts to go on the show.
    Clark I believe is connected to a family farm I wonder what they get from the EU.

  29. HandandShrimp says:

    George Foulkes is NEARLY sober?

    That doesn’t seem likely somehow

  30. Jockanese Wind Talker says:

    I doubt Virgin Media would carry RT even in the face of a campaign @gus1940 says at 11:03 am.

    Branson would probably find Virgin Health started to be ‘unsuccessful’ in procuring ENHS Contracts in the stealth privatisation of services down there if they did.

    BritNats are all aboot the cash (and it’s offshoring, especially if it is from the poor sap taxpayer).

  31. Jock McDonnell says:

    I read what Nicola said. Didn’t look much like condemnation to me.

    More generally, we need to stop feeling the need to apologise for everything & anything whenever the permanently outraged start bleating. Apologising just makes it look like you are in the wrong.
    We should be assertive, Eck always is, which is why he’s adored by a great many Scots who have no cringe.

  32. brewsed says:

    There are Torrents of Jackie Ballie in the rancid graun regarding the laird of Strichen’s latest venture. Some of the text: (intelligent individuals claimed to be shocked and appalled; his motivation is greed, a desire to line his pockets; a drizzle of often bizarre public statements; nothing worries Salmond more than fading into obscurity) would suggest the author is deeply troubled and in need of help. Elsewhere the msm is undergoing seizures and apoplexy – shame. All of this will, of course, completely backfire and boost the viewing figures.

    If you have enough bandwidth Eck on RT can be viewed at

  33. Jack Murphy says:

    The England Daily Express Front Page:

    “Eat Mushrooms To Fight Disease”. WOW! That’s really important news.

    Meanwhile the Scottish Daily Express splashes it’s front page:

    “Putin ‘Puppet’ Salmond Sent To Siberia”.

    England gets life-saving information and Scotland gets Tory ‘News’ 🙁

    Welcome to the Press in Scotland. 🙁

  34. Street Andrew says:

    All the great renaissance artists, the Raphaels and Michelangelos had whole teams of folk doing the difficult or boring bits. Specialists for drapery and for hands and landscape backgrounds. I expect cairns operates the same principle.

    As long as he’s there to sign it it counts as provenance.

    Keep at it Chris somebody needs to keep the economy going.

    Re the back pain: try a using a smaller brush or perhaps only half a pencil at a time. Have you tried charcoal? A bit messy, but very light. (Pisses of the English aswell because they they try to hog all the willow for their cricket bats).

    Next time you’re going to launch a book a little more notice would be good. Scotland is not so wee you know and it’s a long walk to Glasgow if you don’t live there.

  35. Dan Huil says:

    @brewsed 11:50am

    Thanks for the web links, brewsed. I was hoping someone would post them.

  36. Hamish100 says:

    would the brutish state broadcaster allow Alex Salmond to have a free reign on his programme on their biased broadcasting service. Would donalda allow it?

    Of course not however I await their next home grown programme called ” Ruthies Way”. Such a darling she is with her first guest Susan McCalman to make sure there is a labour influence.

    Well done Alex. You stuck it right up them and they don’t like it.

    Personally NS should have said she hopes to watch the programme on RT since the state service in RUK censors Scottish independence issues.

  37. Robert Graham says:

    o/t – Alex Salmond makes a reasonable point regarding the frothing indignation from the usual suspects, a fair amount of MPS of all persuasions have indeed appeared on RT , so what’s the f/n point.
    As for the BBC a state run media outlet getting their drawers in a twist, oh f/k that’s rich, the very idea of a separatist SNP politician getting access to the wider world without the usual sneering interrupting as is the usual format.

    The one reason it scares them is they don’t control the output, aw didums eh how sad eh .
    If there is Russian propaganda in any of their shows or output I haven’t noticed it , what they do is seriously challenge the western media and the slant they attach to their output, an alternative view of the world. And that bloody scares them,

    As far as I know RT has never featured on mainstream press or TV so they haven’t been banned or blocked its just this channel has never been there to view other than over the internet, it’s easily accessible on U/Tube , always has been, just type RT uk in the search box then subscribe to them and new content will be flagged as it arrives .

  38. Artyhetty says:

    Hope the book launch goes well, I hope there are some books left so I can put it top of my xmas list!

    Alex Salmond, fabulous he has the British nationalists raging and having meltdowns, fantastic.
    The britnats going bonkers over a tv show while they don’t give a hoot about what the britnats in Westminster are doing to wreck lives and starve people to death, biggest crooks on the freaking planet.

    Really looking forward to watching the AS show, hope he has a wide and varied programme, with people from all walks of life. Artists, :-), scientists, bloggers, -;) and more. Maybe a few politicians to add some flair lol!

  39. Macart says:

    Y’know, the rage among the unionist political and meeja set is the the biggest pile of hypocritical horses wossiname.

    I mean, think about it critically for just a moment. Representatives of every major establishment party, recent past and present, have felt perfectly comfy appearing on RT. I also believe some of our punditry have appeared on the odd RT couch.

    Now setting the utter hypocrisy of that factual situation aside, just what does Alex Salmond owe either the UK political parties or the UK media? Bear in mind these are parties and a media who have spent the past three decades systematically attempting to destroy Mr Salmond’s political career.

    They’ve generally done their level best to break the fella. Fair to say that their narrative has literally put the man in harms way amongst some of their more extreme support. Yet through it all, and so far as I know, Mr Salmond has only ever promoted peaceful and democratic positive argument. (Even when many among the independence support argued for more negative and argumentative strategy.)

    Well? They got their dearest wish. Mr Salmond is no longer an MP or MSP. He’s a private individual and an individual with a particular skill set, knowledge base, connections and most importantly, an opinion.

    It appears folk from his old arena are more afraid of Alex Salmond the private individual, than Alex Salmond the politician.

  40. Marie Clark says:

    Macart @ 12.26. Got that right Macart. Just goes to show, you should be careful what you wish for. The yoons thought that the had claimed a great victory when they managed to unseat oor Eck. Fair jumping for joy they were. Well boys, Karma’s a bitch.

    Mr Salmond is now a free agent with no political constraints whatsoever, and can now do and say exactly what he pleases. That’s what they are all scared of now.

    How’s that working out for you now yoons, mmh.

  41. dakk says:

    Looks great fun.

    Working today.No fun.


  42. cearc says:

    Capella @ 9.14

    Too far? Name a time and place and tell people to come!

  43. louis.b.argyll says:

    Channel4 might poach the Salmond show from RT.

    Noticing that (retired) unionist politicians get a seat in house of lords, while Vile Separatist leaders get their own TV show..which ones act with greater grace and humility ?

  44. Robert Peffers says:

    @Abulhaq says: 11 November, 2017 at 9:14 am:

    “Scottish nationalists and Scottish nationalism generally needs to improve ‘the game’ whether intellectually, culturally or strategically.”

    Why? There has been more progress made in the last few years than this octogenarian has seen in his 80 odd years on Scotland’s good earth.

    “… If mega political capital cannot be made out of the current establishment ‘godsend of a mess’ independence will remain an old man’s pipe dream.”

    Speak for yourself kiddo. This Old man is more certain than ever that Scotland will be free.

    ” … We seem to have too comfortable a relationship with the repressive forces we would be rid of.”

    Who are these, “We”, you speak of, Abulhaq? I personally don’t have a comfortable relationship with whatever or whoever you imagine are, “the repressive forces we would be rid of”, and I know no one in the SNP, or wider YES movement, who has such a comfortable relationship with either the elected Westminster unionists or the very much wider Westminster Establishment.

    What I do see is the awkward position that those members of the SNP who form the Scottish Government at Holyrood and the even more awkward situation of the SNP elected to serve at Westminster. They are, whether they like it or not, elected to serve in the parliament of the United Kingdom and that office, like Holyrood, demands that to serve they must make legally binding declarations of loyalty to Her Majesty the Queen of Scots who is also the Queen of England and as Queen of England she is legally sovereign in the three country Kingdom of England but as Queen of Scots her job is to legally protect the sovereignty of the legally Sovereign People of Scotland. To my mind a sworn duty the present incumbent has failed so miserably to fulfil.

    However, the upshot is that the SNP MPs at Westminster and the SNP MSPs at Holyrood must abide by the rules of the office they are elected to carry out and those rules are laid down by the Westminster Establishment.

    That means they are shackled even more so than the present Catalonian Government leaders and would no doubt be subjected to very much the same legally corrupt legislative laws that would without doubt see them fall foul of the corrupt Westminster system’s laws. I have no wish to see Nicola Sturgeon confined to the Tower of London and the Holyrood parliament dissolved by Westminster.

    The whole point has already been made clear but seems to have fallen on either deaf ears or closed minds. In order to be able to make further moves to free Scotland the SNP requires just one more step by the electorate.

    The SNP cannot make any further legal moves to withdraw from Westminster rule until they have a mandate to do so by a majority of the legally sovereign people of Scotland.

    I have posted several times that while being legally sovereign is a Scotland’s greatest strength but it is also Scotland’s greatest weakness. In that as a nation we cannot exercise our legal sovereignty unless by having a majority of the legally sovereign people of Scotland giving a legally appointed body with a legally appointed spokesperson to impose it.

    Which is why Westminster have always been so strongly in favour of retaining a legally sovereign monarchy. However that legally sovereign monarchy had its legal teeth pulled in 1688 when Queen Mary & King Billy were forced to legally delegate their English Kingdom’s Divine Right of Kings, (sovereignty), to the Parliament of England.

    Now you also know why Westminster falsely claimed, during Indyref1, that:-

    , “The Treaty of Union Extinguished the Kingdom of Scotland and renamed the Kingdom of England as the United Kingdom”.

    The Treaty of Union did nothing of the sort and Westminster, as the parliament of the Kingdom of England wound itself up on the last day of April 1707 and what opened on 1 May 1707 was a totally new bipartite Parliament of the United Kingdom with two equally sovereign partner kingdoms.

    The point, though, is that the SNP, or any mixture of independence supporting political parties, cannot use the legal sovereignty of the people of Scotland until a majority of those legally sovereign people of Scotland give then the legal right to do so.

    Until then, the elected by us, MPs, MSPs and MEPs are all legally parts of the Westminster Government and thus it is we foot-soldiers of the independence movement who are Scotland’s only hope of imposing our legal sovereignty and withdrawing from the United Kingdom.

    The great need is NOT for the existing elected members to revolt and thus giving Westminster the excuse of ending Holyrood but for a majority of Scots voters to give them the mandate to end the Union and we have not yet got that majority but by God we are very, very close.

  45. Conan the Librarian says:

    Hi folks. This petition had over five thousand signatures last night. It now has lost hundreds. Something fishy is going on.

Comment - please read this page for comment rules. HTML tags like <i> and <b> are permitted. Use paragraph breaks in long comments. DO NOT SIGN YOUR COMMENTS, either with a name or a slogan. If your comment does not appear immediately, DO NOT REPOST IT. Ignore these rules and I WILL KILL YOU WITH HAMMERS.

↑ Top