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Where is Jesus? 8

Posted on March 16, 2011 by

Hey! It's time for another WoSblog Challenge! WOO!

We're all familiar with the concept of Where's Wally/Waldo, right? The above is a tableau in similar vein but with a bit of a Biblical theme, taken from the iThing game Where's Jesus? Your job is simple: find the inset character (bottom left) somewhere in the main picture. He usually shows up after you've found three or four others in Level 1 (of 10).

A free copy of Free-App Hero to the winner!

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Category iOS, videogames

New ways to spell “Congratulations”, part 75 2

Posted on March 14, 2011 by

Those crazy Far East kids really do have trouble with that one, don't they?

Category free stuff, iOS, videogames

Blatant PR Lies: episode 27,010,345 8

Posted on March 10, 2011 by

OMG! It's Tappi Bear All in 1!! 8 in 1 GameBox!! It's all of the Tappi Bear games! All of them! All together in one app! Yay!

"What's new: Quick Link to Tappi Bear All in 1 Pack 2".

WHAT?

Category iOS, lies, videogames

Just shut up, idiots 41

Posted on March 08, 2011 by

There is literally nothing more tedious on Earth than some scared 15-year-old fanboy thicko witlessly pronouncing that the iPod, iPhone and iPad aren't "proper" videogaming devices, because "all the games are five-minute casual Flash rubbish or Angry Birds".

It gets really wearisome having to point out how ignorant and stupid they are in detail every time, so to save myself a bit of effort in the long run I've knocked up a convenient one-stop counterpoint for easy reference.

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Category iOS, videogames

Speedy Discount 2, more like 0

Posted on March 06, 2011 by

Just a few days after release, Speedball 2 Evolution has had its price slashed from £2.39 to 59p, for an unknown length of time.

At that price, everybody pile in.

Category bargains, iOS, iPad, videogames

More of you need to have this 4

Posted on March 04, 2011 by

While it's still free, so that you can enjoy its awesome ghost-racing capers.

Having played Mad Skills Motocross (available for PC, Mac and Linux as well as iOS), I am now OUTRAGED that all other racing-type games don't let you go to the online leaderboards and go head-to-head against the recording of anyone's best run. I'd write to my MP about it, but he's a treacherous cunt.

Category awesomeness, iOS, iPad, videogames

Manic Minoer 6

Posted on March 03, 2011 by

or Why The iPhone Is The New Amiga, Part 17.

Minotron 2112 was released today (at the time of writing an iTunes or App Store search for "minotron" doesn't bring it up, but if instead you search for "llamasoft" it's there), the second outing for Jeff Minter's game-in-a-month Minotaur Project after the flawed but fun Minotaur Rescue.

(Which incidentally is apparently about to have many of the issues raised in the WoSland review – or "moaning", as Mr Minter refers to user feedback – fixed in a just-submitted update.)

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Category iOS, iPad, videogames

This is Free-App Hero 30

Posted on February 07, 2011 by

Many of you will know about this already, but for various reasons it's never actually been made official before now. Friends, colleagues, alert WoSblog viewers and the world in general, please welcome into your hearts and minds the infinite majesty of Free-App Hero.

Free-App Hero is an App Store tracker app with a difference – it delivers hundreds of fantastic free games without wasting your time with any of the thousands and thousands of terrible ones. Who wouldn't want that?

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Category awesomeness, iOS, videogames

Who sexually abused Steve Jobs? 24

Posted on December 16, 2010 by

Come on. It must have been one of you, or someone you know, and it’s time to own up. Because until we deal with this serious issue and reach some sort of closure, Jobs is going to keep taking it out on the rest of us.

There’s simply no other remotely plausible explanation for the staggering hostility – no, make that absolute naked loathing – with which Apple continues to treat the hundreds of millions of customers who’ve made it so rich.

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Category apocalypse, disturbing, investigative journalism, iOS, iPad, stupidity, useless Apple cunts, videogames

Please just fucking die, Apple 12

Posted on November 24, 2010 by

Well, that’ll teach me to write a loving but very gently semi-critical appraisal of the iPad. Apple’s crack Unbeliever Punishment Squad was scrambled immediately, and within 24 hours punishment was duly delivered.

The main engine of retribution was to be – as is so often the case – the vile, stinking, loathing-fuelled execresence that is PC iTunes.

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Category iOS, stupidity, useless Apple cunts

Why metagaming is the only true gaming 4

Posted on June 19, 2010 by

Anyone who's been reading WoS or WoSblog for any amount of time will probably already have noticed that I have very little time for videogames that want to tell stories.

There are plenty of fields of culture available already for people who want to be told stories. Books, films, comics, TV,  theatre and even music are all ideally suited to story-telling, and frequently do a brilliant job of it. You wouldn't hire a footballer to come round and do your plumbing, so why would you look to videogames for storytelling?

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Category iOS, videogames

The least appropriate use of ‘Finally’ ever 3

Posted on March 03, 2010 by

Is this okay, or really really not very okay at all? I just can’t tell.

“Finally a SNIPER game where you play as a soviet soldier to help liberate the Auschwitz Nazi concentration camp!”

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Category iOS, things of all time, videogames

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    • Alf Baird on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Tut tut, only 13 out of 46 comments here for Hatety ower Scotland. Ye’ve drapped belaw yer usual 30%.” Mar 5, 13:54
    • Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: ““The solution? STOP ILLEGALLY INVADING OTHER COUNTRIES. Simples” I find myself on the horns of a dilemma. Is it flattering…” Mar 5, 13:49
    • Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: ““the current crop of politicians may not have the requisite skills & intelligence to handle” Maybe aye, maybe naw. I…” Mar 5, 13:35
    • Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “That so? These people sound like what we would call colonialists on here. Happy to be proved wrong. Maybe they’re…” Mar 5, 13:19
    • Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Wheesht, Northy, that carpet has been gnawed to threads. There’s a plush new carpet on the flair, 100% acrylic, with…” Mar 5, 13:14
    • Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: ““Who started this?” To be fair, I would say the Romans. To be unfair (and why not?), the First Caliphate…” Mar 5, 13:09
    • TURABDIN on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “INDEPENDENCE is a good, but a good that in a deeply troubled & divided world imposes responsibilities that the current…” Mar 5, 12:53
    • diabloandco on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Don’t know about the Middle East but I’ve certainly gone off the American Government.That said I am awaiting news of…” Mar 5, 12:48
    • Geri on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “The solution? STOP ILLEGALLY INVADING OTHER COUNTRIES. Simples. Then people won’t be forced to move. They’ll be more than happy…” Mar 5, 12:36
    • TURABDIN on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “AMERIKA is now involved in Ecuador. Supposedly to crush drug cartels the US being the largest user. Doha where my…” Mar 5, 12:36
    • Breastplate on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “John, everything thing you fear and hate is because you and your friends got exactly the politicians you wanted into…” Mar 5, 12:27
    • lothianlad on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “The SNP used to do everything to promote and achieve independence. Now, They do everything to avoid it. Parcel of…” Mar 5, 12:18
    • Northcode on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “War? What war? I see no war. I see only the insane murdering each other with their flying or swimming…” Mar 5, 11:42
    • Northcode on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Ah, the preposterous Swinney; the man who would be king, and his own court jester all at once; the humourless…” Mar 5, 10:21
    • TURABDIN on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “The favoured domain of the «sociopath» is politics. No one ought to be allowed to enter the field before first…” Mar 5, 10:04
    • Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “What’s your solution, then, TURABDIN? We’ve already tried letting every one who can escape the shitholes come here. We pretended…” Mar 5, 09:58
    • TURABDIN on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “and EVIL’s spawn. https://archive.is/RBCXa Reckon Mr Swinney might benefit from reading this. Statecraft….phew!” Mar 5, 09:22
    • 100%Yes on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Swinney could win a referendum, he could also make as many excuses as he likes not to hold it. I’d…” Mar 5, 09:06
    • Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Live by the sword, die by the sword, TURABDIN. There’s not one single Scot who hasn’t been adversely affected by…” Mar 5, 08:51
    • Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “The only explanation of “the plan” I’ve found so far: https://unherd.com/2026/03/trumps-plan-for-iran/ It has a certain superficial plausibility to it. And…” Mar 5, 08:35
    • TURABDIN on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “AMERICA IS EVIL, root and branch. No more mealymouthed verbiage.” Mar 5, 08:31
    • Hatey McHateface on Scotland’s Most Frightened: ““Me too” I guess talk is cheap. I guess we’ll wait a long time to discover the “man of principle”…” Mar 5, 08:03
    • Cynicus on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “‘And then Swinney (and indeed all his idiot apologists) will have to turn to expectant SNP voters and say “Ehm,…” Mar 5, 01:33
    • Angus on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Those were the days of the Alex Salmond led SNP, which was genuinely pro-independence. What followed has been the SNP…” Mar 5, 00:36
    • Cynicus on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “RobertG says: 4 March, 2026 at 9:05 pm “I am far from convinced with the polling projections. I suspect that…” Mar 5, 00:13
    • Big Jock on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “He already has the excuse lined up. The war in Iran. Which England is dragging Scotland into. Now is not…” Mar 5, 00:08
    • Rob on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “Even in the extremely unlikely event that the UN agrees with you there will still need to be a referendum.” Mar 4, 23:44
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “IAIN UIG Chaochail a bhean. Ghoid iad a chàr. Mharbh iad a chù. Bhuail òrd air làr. Sìor spadadh dhe…” Mar 4, 22:50
    • Andy Wiltshire on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “If by some miracle there is a referendum, and indy wins, I sometimes wonder if we would be forced to…” Mar 4, 22:28
    • 100%Yes on Scotland’s Most Frightened: “I’ll tell you who believes Swinney the one’s making a living out of pretending to support Independence when they don’t.” Mar 4, 22:28

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