Thinking about leaving the house
Posted on
March 31, 2014 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
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A tall tale
Wee Books
Video
Probably a robbery
Transphobia
Aye keep a sharp look out for all these squirrels that have been reported on various internet sites, they have a tendency to swing votes I hear! š
Between midnight 31st March and noon 1st April I don’t think BT should issue any press releases as their previous press releases have been ridiculed enough.
Is this for real, Stu? I mean, is this for REAL??????
Laurie, I really shouldn’t think so. Stu nicked the official BT font literally years ago. Enjoy it for what it is.
God knows what he’s going to do to us after midnight.
Is that Gruinard the island that the f*ckers poisoned, or it may be Coulport where they still poison
Imagine the progress of man to date if we let fear dominate.
We would never have left the cave.
Never launched a raft.
Never explored / climbed a mountain / left Africa / etc
What a pitiful message to send to Scots who have had to seek opportunities in every corner of the globe because they were denied them at home.
This cannot be a genuine BT poster. Even they would not insult our intellect to this extent!
I roared with laughter at Jeremy Paxman on University Challenge tonight..
“And now your 3 questions are on Squirrels..in literature”
Was this photo taken on the N.I/Irish Republican border?
Sorry if posted already (had a quick look) but poor old Darling has been disowned yet again. FT article.
link to archive.is
A man wandering in a minefield of unquantifiable hazards of his own making.
OK jumped in too quick!
I’ve been travelling all day. Just sat down in Italy (poor me) and logged in to this.
Not fair Rev -how can we tell when BT posters are real?
Looking forward to tomorrow to try and work out which of the No Better Together UKOK stories is the genuine April Fool one. I’ll bet someone will spoof some wacky story about the likes of Jackie Baillie lunching with the Tory Ladies of Argyll, or Johann Lamont being the leader of the Labour Party. Some people have a really kookie sense of humour, don’t they?
I reasoned that the main reason that we haven’t really seen a BT campaign on the streets or at our doors is that they are feart to get oot of their beds far less leave the hoose in case they injure themselves. I am alerting them to the fact that ballot boxes can give them anti social diseases. Well it seems they will believe any crap that our Lords and Master tell them – why not that? I am going to pump the theme tune from Jaws into their bedrooms.
OT
With the Wings funding campaign coming to a close…..perhaps we should now do some more crowd funding and regally take the piss.
Eddie Izzard is apparently struggling to sell out his BT fundraiser gig at the weekend….we should snap up the spares and then turn up in either a YES or a Wings hat.
lol George Galloway trademarked the ‘on stilts’ nonsense,not Mr Sillars.
FFS Simon Pia – folk trust Alistair Darling…Jeezoooo
O/T Scotland tonight when the pro indy guy Kevin said that Wings over Scotland and Bella etc was making a difference, Simon Pia tried to interrupt him. He did not try to interrupt with any other stuff that Kevin was saying, obviously the Better Together folk don’t like WOS to get any publicity!!!
OT Symon Pia ranting incomprehensibly on STV Scotland tonigh. Some advert for Labour in Scotland.
Kevin ? Sorry don’t know his name did a very good job against Pias pish.
Just heard Simon Pia on Newsnight trying to tell us that people trust Alasdair Darling!! Deluded or what? Hahahahaha!
Didn’t catch the name of the guy on the Yes side of the questioning but he managed to give Wingsoverscotland, Bellacaledonia and some of the other websites a wee plug before Simon Pia started talking over him!!
The chap on TV will be Kevin Williamson of Bella Caledonia.
I complained about Rhona letting Simon Pia talk over everybody on Scotland Tonight’s Facebook page . She always loses control!
@Iain More says:
The better together folks don’t do that sort of thing, it’s so for the poor and lower classes.
“People trust Alistair Darling”, Simon Pia, “but people are not interested in a currency union”.
“George Galloway is doing great things”, Simon Pia, “nobody trusts Osborne or Alexander”
Shows how bad things have become for Better Together.
Marcia says:
31 March, 2014 at 10:09 pm
Between midnight 31st March and noon 1st April I donāt think BT should issue any press releases as their previous press releases have been ridiculed enough.
thx Marcia—made me laugh
O/T
Darling said in reference to a referendum on Currency Union ,that it would need to come after a Yes vote and implied that Scots would not be voting on that one. that’s a flaw. As I see it is , if after a Yes vote there would be a period where Scotland would still be part of the union, and have dorks like him still in Westminster.
If by what he said Scotland would be off and running and then they’d be having a referendum
Was Pia at the sherberts again?..
“clutching at straws” seems to be todays catchphrase.
@Marcia
I reckon you have that the wrong way about. I believe they should release all their rambling between those times you indicate. After all it is APRIL FOOLS day.
Or was that satire from you?
Pia sounds like he’s been on the sauce again. Why do both STV and the BBC keep inviting this relic from the Neolithic Age of Scottish politics to their studios? He just blethers p**sh.
What’s going on tonight! Newsnight at it now! Who was the guy supposedly on the YES side Andy Miles? He was too hesitant in his replies. In fact he sounded as if he wasn’t sure about anything!
Yeah! Both BBC and STV back in form in their biased states!
Roll_On_2014
‘Or was that satire from you?’
Yep
On Tomkins ‘what an odious we superior nyaff’
Was he attempting the classic BT ‘look a squirrel’ trick over that Trident barter guff ??
I had a lawyer years ago called Paul pia. Wonder if Pia is a relative? Anyhow, he did a very poor job for the Labour group. Then again, he had such poor material to work on.
And they say the Italians in Scotland behave themselves!
(I’m half-Sicilian so I can say those things … Tony.)
Stu
If thats Westonbirt arboretum, you’re in trouble
Any time anyone from the bitter Better together group bring up Trident and how it will be staying at Faslane I will just bring up this wee piece as a starting point for them to do some *ahem* research. š
link to tinyurl.com
HS2 to now run from Airdrie to Oban according to La Monde reporter Avril Premier
They have mentioned tonight on various programmes that the SNP don’t have a timetable planned for the removal of Trident.
Haven’t the SNP being saying since yesterday that they will remove Trident within the term of the “First Parliament” of an Independent Scotland.
Has that been released 15 minutes early?
That last to Desimond, obviously.
This isn’t an April Fool, honest.
Red baron George Foulkes is on Twitter complaining about people who live in ivory towers.
Trident could be considered as hostile forces on Scottish sovereign soil, wee complaint to the UN security council on 19th september if they refuse to play nice ?
After all, in a divorce the leaving partner does not get to keep the joint credit card etc so surely the same principle applies to not letting your ex take your beloved nuclear submarines to look after for you.
Tell them they have until independence day to pick up their stuff or they will next see it for sale in an oxfam window for Ā£28(as new, never been used).
Flower of Scotland, think Andy Miles is an ex LibDem chairman so good that he has come out for Yes especially in the week of their conference. Maybe a wee while since he last had to appear on TV, thought he did ok.
“HS2 to now run from Airdrie to Oban according to La Monde reporter Avril Premier.”
So the campaign for HS2 Stranraer to Creetown, via Glen Trool, failed. That’s a blow, but well done Oban!
That’s a couple of the NO Camp mentioned lately that George Galloway should run the Better Together Campaign and John Reid getting mentioned.
They want these guys to have a bigger profile to win the lost votes back.
George Galloway and John Reid, Oh I do hope they wheel these two vote winners out.
As long as no one mentions IRAQ.
…parklife!
(or pondlife, perhaps…)
@Morag
Paris is an hour ahead….
Galloway and Reid?
The Retired Boxer and the Street Bruiser.
I suppose they can drape their zimmer with a Union Jack.
Paris is an hour aheadā¦.
Duh! Just shoot me now!
I am trying to think of anything constructive that Alastair Darling said on the STV interview.
And I am afraid it is in the same league as the Johann Lamont/Brewer interview.
I would need to see a transcript of the interview, but as far as I could make out, it was just another load of gibberish bullshit.
Russell Crowe, eat yer heart out!
April 1st and bets are on Darling is first to use the movie Noah as a parable for the tsunami about to engulf Scotland should it build its own ark.
That will be Baron Reid of Cardowan.
One other good thing after a YES is that rUK gets to keep all the Lords from Scotland. They will not be able to get rid of them – so best place for them.
Did he not go into Afghanistan with the quote “We would be perfectly happy to leave in three years and without firing one shot because our job is to protect the reconstruction.”
Did not quite turn out way – still there eight years later and millions of shots fired.
I think he is one “Big Gun” we can well do without.
1st April joke goes to … the Guardian.
“Scottish Government to alter driving to the right if a Yes vote.”
In 1904 JM Barrie invents a character called Mr Darling who doesnāt believe in Never-never land.
In 2008 NuLabour invent a character called Mr Darling who puts the whole land on the never-never.
I hate to say it, but Labour feels toxic right now.
– According to Mandy Rhodes at the Holyrood magazine.
link to holyrood.com
telegraph has Salmond to replace queen on pound coin
Your not allowed to comment
I was going to put,”to be fair it looks like the queen mother”
April Fools headline? – Scotland to keep 10% of nuclear warheads!
It paid for them and so wants seat on UN Security Council beside rUK.
grouse didn’t a labour MP already say that a few months back
Darling was manic tonight. He asserted in the same breath that there should be a second referendum in England on a currency union and then immediately asserted, when questioned why, that it was not his business!
Why does anyone pay this fool any attention at all, let alone money for speeches?
Grouse Beater said (12.28): Scottish Government to alter driving to the right if a Yes vote
They forgot to add that “The change will be introduced gradually”
roll on 2014 says
“In 1904 JM Barrie invents a character called Mr Darling who doesnāt believe in Never-never land.”
Ooh I like this story, can it have a crocodile that’s swallowed a clock and every time it appears you hear tick tock tick tock tick tock? š
Sioannach says
“They forgot to add that āThe change will be introduced graduallyā
OMG
dammit seems crunchie nut corn flakes make just as much mess as porridge,
think I’ll have a kipper tomorrow, yes a kipper, it doesn’t splash! and maybe some toast, and marmalade ,yes some marmalade would be nice,
and maybe a strong pot of tea, yes that would be good,
oh and maybe one of those little crossa qurossan little French rolls warmed with butter, yes thats the thing!
I think I might need a lie down now, sleep, yes sleep——–
“Paris is an hour aheadā¦.
Duh! Just shoot me now!”
This is a good debating point:
Will their be the death penalty for anyone who gets the time wrong, in an independent Scotland?
People must be told!
Rev.St Campbell has agreed to tale down WingsoverScotland website in return for Aberdeen getting a Bye into the Europa League. Wullie Young to host a civic reception in tribute.
Guardian’s April fool worked really hard at their vote NO Scotland April fool thing but its a bit weird considering teamGB motorway network ends at Newcastle with A1(M) turning into one lane road to Scotland plastered with speed cameras.
I didn’t need to check the calendar this morning as Labour have a party political broadcast on TV this evening.
State broadcaster up and running again on its website with a story of the cost of the white papers billboard adverts.
They wont let this go it seems, but still no interest in the Whitehall 13 paper propaganda extravaganza and day return flights for the Westminster spokesliar and assorted flunkeys to deliver them.
If it was a fair and balanced broadcaster then it would be looking into the other side of the story, especially after the roasting it got when it broached this subject on GMS a few weeks ago, but it seems no.
@Desomind
You forgot to mention that AlexSalmond would be one of the principal guests.
State broadcaster on about Bill Munro Barrhead Travel
BBC RADIO SCOTLAND MORNING CALL
Call 0500 92 95 00. Text 80295.
Email morningcallscotland@bbc.co.uk
Is this the same Bill Munro Barrhead Travel boss who was presented by STV as being an āundecidedā business-person in their pre-CBI interview package on Scotland Tonight last Wednesday?
02.15 into
link to player.stv.tv
STV journoās lead-inā¦:
āā¦some business people remain to be convinced one way or the otherāā¦
Funny that as his staff Memo was sent on 24th February. Perhaps he will clarify why he is now undecided or was his STV interview just a Better Together sham?
link to independent.co.uk Non hilarious April fool from vote teamGB Independent too. Its like they don’t even read their own garbage product:-(
“Tickets to Salmond Vs Cameron in REFERENDUM RUMBLE hosted by Ant and Dec and music from Bowie”
link to itison.com
Classic Hunty Gowk š
Alex Salmond pound coins
link to telegraph.co.uk
Enjoy
The mannie Trumf is reopening his “greatest ever gowf course in the world EVER” this morning with a Ā£200 reduction in tee fees for “local golfers” – that’s 75 pound a round!
Now, I don’t suffer April fools gladly so I’ll be heading off to Royal Aberdeen for a 25 pound round next to that ugly Rubber Atkins wind turbine monstrosity.
Just tuned into GMS BBC Scotland phone-in about Bill Munro and Scottish Business.
And the Better Together guy on the phone has just re-named us CyberNats.
We are now known as “Internet Bampots”.
Ian McGill is the Better Together guy who has re-named us “Internet Bampots”.
BBC Scotlandshire having a winning April fool spoof:
link to bbc.scotlandshire.co.uk
Can I just say that Internet Bampots is a term first used for Celtic fans daring to ask questions with actual facts behind them.
True dat!
Surely this isn’t the same guy who runs a social care agency in Edinburgh that helps those less fortunate folks on the streets and is well thought of for it?
Why do these apparently sensible people who are involved in inter-personal services like Barrhead Travel, Mackies ice cream, Tunnocks tea cakes, Baxter’s soup, pickles and jams, etc., then spoil it all with crass statements that stick two fingers up to the very people they get their living from?
These guys should remember Gerald Ratner who in his own words says “I sell crap..”, which immediately wiped Ā£500m off his company’s share value, never to recover,…āI am the poster boy for failure on Twitter,ā the former king of bling smiles ruefully. āI donāt tweet myself, but if you search for me I come up as the biggest disaster of all time and when anyone screws up they call it ādoing a Ratnerā…’
I have no idea who Ian McGill is but I feel like I have just been savaged by a piece of sociopathic belly button fluff.
I regard some of the April 1st jokes an encouragement to rascism. (Complaining is always followed by “lighten up!”
What we witness is the dominant nation reminding the smaller nation how powerful it is.
It also tells us how neutral is the British press, and how seriously they take a peoples’ demand for full democracy.
HandandShrimp
A Tory candidate that never wins.
@Sionnach and others.
Regarding driving on the right. I think we should follow Ireland’s example. When they phased it in they started with the HGVs and worked their way down.
A. Darling’s eyebrows have just proclaimed UDI!