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Thinking about leaving the house

Posted on March 31, 2014 by

Better Together Parklife!

btparklife

The Quiz Broadcast will be on soon. Britons should REMAIN INDOORS.

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    80 to “Thinking about leaving the house”

    1. Arbroath 1320 says:

      Aye keep a sharp look out for all these squirrels that have been reported on various internet sites, they have a tendency to swing votes I hear! 😛

    2. Marcia says:

      Between midnight 31st March and noon 1st April I don’t think BT should issue any press releases as their previous press releases have been ridiculed enough.

    3. Laurie says:

      Is this for real, Stu? I mean, is this for REAL??????

    4. Morag says:

      Laurie, I really shouldn’t think so. Stu nicked the official BT font literally years ago. Enjoy it for what it is.

      God knows what he’s going to do to us after midnight.

    5. Croompenstein says:

      Is that Gruinard the island that the f*ckers poisoned, or it may be Coulport where they still poison

    6. Clootie says:

      Imagine the progress of man to date if we let fear dominate.
      We would never have left the cave.
      Never launched a raft.
      Never explored / climbed a mountain / left Africa / etc

      What a pitiful message to send to Scots who have had to seek opportunities in every corner of the globe because they were denied them at home.

      This cannot be a genuine BT poster. Even they would not insult our intellect to this extent!

    7. Desimond says:

      I roared with laughter at Jeremy Paxman on University Challenge tonight..

      “And now your 3 questions are on Squirrels..in literature”

    8. alexicon says:

      Was this photo taken on the N.I/Irish Republican border?

    9. Murray McCallum says:

      Sorry if posted already (had a quick look) but poor old Darling has been disowned yet again. FT article.

      http://archive.is/9NStG

      A man wandering in a minefield of unquantifiable hazards of his own making.

    10. Clootie says:

      OK jumped in too quick!
      I’ve been travelling all day. Just sat down in Italy (poor me) and logged in to this.
      Not fair Rev -how can we tell when BT posters are real?

    11. Greannach says:

      Looking forward to tomorrow to try and work out which of the No Better Together UKOK stories is the genuine April Fool one. I’ll bet someone will spoof some wacky story about the likes of Jackie Baillie lunching with the Tory Ladies of Argyll, or Johann Lamont being the leader of the Labour Party. Some people have a really kookie sense of humour, don’t they?

    12. Iain More says:

      I reasoned that the main reason that we haven’t really seen a BT campaign on the streets or at our doors is that they are feart to get oot of their beds far less leave the hoose in case they injure themselves. I am alerting them to the fact that ballot boxes can give them anti social diseases. Well it seems they will believe any crap that our Lords and Master tell them – why not that? I am going to pump the theme tune from Jaws into their bedrooms.

    13. TheGreatBaldo says:

      OT

      With the Wings funding campaign coming to a close…..perhaps we should now do some more crowd funding and regally take the piss.

      Eddie Izzard is apparently struggling to sell out his BT fundraiser gig at the weekend….we should snap up the spares and then turn up in either a YES or a Wings hat.

    14. msean says:

      lol George Galloway trademarked the ‘on stilts’ nonsense,not Mr Sillars.

    15. Croompenstein says:

      FFS Simon Pia – folk trust Alistair Darling…Jeezoooo

    16. jingly jangly says:

      O/T Scotland tonight when the pro indy guy Kevin said that Wings over Scotland and Bella etc was making a difference, Simon Pia tried to interrupt him. He did not try to interrupt with any other stuff that Kevin was saying, obviously the Better Together folk don’t like WOS to get any publicity!!!

    17. Papadox says:

      OT Symon Pia ranting incomprehensibly on STV Scotland tonigh. Some advert for Labour in Scotland.
      Kevin ? Sorry don’t know his name did a very good job against Pias pish.

    18. Heather McLean says:

      Just heard Simon Pia on Newsnight trying to tell us that people trust Alasdair Darling!! Deluded or what? Hahahahaha!
      Didn’t catch the name of the guy on the Yes side of the questioning but he managed to give Wingsoverscotland, Bellacaledonia and some of the other websites a wee plug before Simon Pia started talking over him!!

    19. Marcia says:

      The chap on TV will be Kevin Williamson of Bella Caledonia.

    20. Flower of Scotland says:

      I complained about Rhona letting Simon Pia talk over everybody on Scotland Tonight’s Facebook page . She always loses control!

    21. Papadox says:

      @Iain More says:

      The better together folks don’t do that sort of thing, it’s so for the poor and lower classes.

    22. gillie says:

      “People trust Alistair Darling”, Simon Pia, “but people are not interested in a currency union”.

      “George Galloway is doing great things”, Simon Pia, “nobody trusts Osborne or Alexander”

      Shows how bad things have become for Better Together.

    23. bookie from hell says:

      Marcia says:
      31 March, 2014 at 10:09 pm
      Between midnight 31st March and noon 1st April I don’t think BT should issue any press releases as their previous press releases have been ridiculed enough.

      thx Marcia—made me laugh

    24. stonefree says:

      O/T
      Darling said in reference to a referendum on Currency Union ,that it would need to come after a Yes vote and implied that Scots would not be voting on that one. that’s a flaw. As I see it is , if after a Yes vote there would be a period where Scotland would still be part of the union, and have dorks like him still in Westminster.
      If by what he said Scotland would be off and running and then they’d be having a referendum

      Was Pia at the sherberts again?..

    25. msean says:

      “clutching at straws” seems to be todays catchphrase.

    26. Roll_On_2014 says:

      @Marcia

      Between midnight 31st March and noon 1st April I don’t think BT should issue any press releases as their previous press releases have been ridiculed enough.

      I reckon you have that the wrong way about. I believe they should release all their rambling between those times you indicate. After all it is APRIL FOOLS day.

      Or was that satire from you?

    27. John Gibson says:

      Pia sounds like he’s been on the sauce again. Why do both STV and the BBC keep inviting this relic from the Neolithic Age of Scottish politics to their studios? He just blethers p**sh.

    28. Flower of Scotland says:

      What’s going on tonight! Newsnight at it now! Who was the guy supposedly on the YES side Andy Miles? He was too hesitant in his replies. In fact he sounded as if he wasn’t sure about anything!

      Yeah! Both BBC and STV back in form in their biased states!

    29. Marcia says:

      Roll_On_2014

      ‘Or was that satire from you?’

      Yep

    30. gordoz says:

      On Tomkins ‘what an odious we superior nyaff’

      Was he attempting the classic BT ‘look a squirrel’ trick over that Trident barter guff ??

    31. Grouse Beater says:

      I had a lawyer years ago called Paul pia. Wonder if Pia is a relative? Anyhow, he did a very poor job for the Labour group. Then again, he had such poor material to work on.

      And they say the Italians in Scotland behave themselves!

      (I’m half-Sicilian so I can say those things … Tony.)

    32. tartanarse says:

      Stu

      If thats Westonbirt arboretum, you’re in trouble

    33. Arbroath 1320 says:

      Any time anyone from the bitter Better together group bring up Trident and how it will be staying at Faslane I will just bring up this wee piece as a starting point for them to do some *ahem* research. 🙂

      http://tinyurl.com/ct2z2h5

    34. Desimond says:

      HS2 to now run from Airdrie to Oban according to La Monde reporter Avril Premier

    35. caz-m says:

      They have mentioned tonight on various programmes that the SNP don’t have a timetable planned for the removal of Trident.

      Haven’t the SNP being saying since yesterday that they will remove Trident within the term of the “First Parliament” of an Independent Scotland.

    36. Morag says:

      Has that been released 15 minutes early?

    37. Morag says:

      That last to Desimond, obviously.

    38. joe kane says:

      This isn’t an April Fool, honest.
      Red baron George Foulkes is on Twitter complaining about people who live in ivory towers.

    39. geeo says:

      Trident could be considered as hostile forces on Scottish sovereign soil, wee complaint to the UN security council on 19th september if they refuse to play nice ?

      After all, in a divorce the leaving partner does not get to keep the joint credit card etc so surely the same principle applies to not letting your ex take your beloved nuclear submarines to look after for you.

      Tell them they have until independence day to pick up their stuff or they will next see it for sale in an oxfam window for £28(as new, never been used).

    40. annie says:

      Flower of Scotland, think Andy Miles is an ex LibDem chairman so good that he has come out for Yes especially in the week of their conference. Maybe a wee while since he last had to appear on TV, thought he did ok.

    41. Murray McCallum says:

      “HS2 to now run from Airdrie to Oban according to La Monde reporter Avril Premier.”

      So the campaign for HS2 Stranraer to Creetown, via Glen Trool, failed. That’s a blow, but well done Oban!

    42. caz-m says:

      That’s a couple of the NO Camp mentioned lately that George Galloway should run the Better Together Campaign and John Reid getting mentioned.

      They want these guys to have a bigger profile to win the lost votes back.

      George Galloway and John Reid, Oh I do hope they wheel these two vote winners out.

      As long as no one mentions IRAQ.

    43. Derek says:

      …parklife!

      (or pondlife, perhaps…)

    44. Desimond says:

      @Morag

      Paris is an hour ahead….

    45. Grouse Beater says:

      Galloway and Reid?

      The Retired Boxer and the Street Bruiser.

      I suppose they can drape their zimmer with a Union Jack.

    46. Morag says:

      Paris is an hour ahead….

      Duh! Just shoot me now!

    47. caz-m says:

      I am trying to think of anything constructive that Alastair Darling said on the STV interview.

      And I am afraid it is in the same league as the Johann Lamont/Brewer interview.

      I would need to see a transcript of the interview, but as far as I could make out, it was just another load of gibberish bullshit.

    48. Grouse Beater says:

      Russell Crowe, eat yer heart out!

      April 1st and bets are on Darling is first to use the movie Noah as a parable for the tsunami about to engulf Scotland should it build its own ark.

    49. Dr JM Mackintosh says:

      That will be Baron Reid of Cardowan.

      One other good thing after a YES is that rUK gets to keep all the Lords from Scotland. They will not be able to get rid of them – so best place for them.

      Did he not go into Afghanistan with the quote “We would be perfectly happy to leave in three years and without firing one shot because our job is to protect the reconstruction.”

      Did not quite turn out way – still there eight years later and millions of shots fired.

      I think he is one “Big Gun” we can well do without.

    50. Grouse Beater says:

      1st April joke goes to … the Guardian.

      “Scottish Government to alter driving to the right if a Yes vote.”

    51. Roll_On_2014 says:

      In 1904 JM Barrie invents a character called Mr Darling who doesn’t believe in Never-never land.

      In 2008 NuLabour invent a character called Mr Darling who puts the whole land on the never-never.

    52. joe kane says:

      I hate to say it, but Labour feels toxic right now.
      – According to Mandy Rhodes at the Holyrood magazine.
      http://www.holyrood.com/2014/03/labours-pains/

    53. bookie from hell says:

      telegraph has Salmond to replace queen on pound coin

      Your not allowed to comment

      I was going to put,”to be fair it looks like the queen mother”

    54. jacksloan2013 says:

      April Fools headline? – Scotland to keep 10% of nuclear warheads!
      It paid for them and so wants seat on UN Security Council beside rUK.

    55. bookie from hell says:

      grouse didn’t a labour MP already say that a few months back

    56. clochoderic says:

      Darling was manic tonight. He asserted in the same breath that there should be a second referendum in England on a currency union and then immediately asserted, when questioned why, that it was not his business!

      Why does anyone pay this fool any attention at all, let alone money for speeches?

    57. sionnach says:

      Grouse Beater said (12.28): Scottish Government to alter driving to the right if a Yes vote

      They forgot to add that “The change will be introduced gradually”

    58. john king says:

      roll on 2014 says
      “In 1904 JM Barrie invents a character called Mr Darling who doesn’t believe in Never-never land.”

      Ooh I like this story, can it have a crocodile that’s swallowed a clock and every time it appears you hear tick tock tick tock tick tock? 😉

    59. john king says:

      Sioannach says
      “They forgot to add that “The change will be introduced gradually”

      OMG
      dammit seems crunchie nut corn flakes make just as much mess as porridge,
      think I’ll have a kipper tomorrow, yes a kipper, it doesn’t splash! and maybe some toast, and marmalade ,yes some marmalade would be nice,
      and maybe a strong pot of tea, yes that would be good,
      oh and maybe one of those little crossa qurossan little French rolls warmed with butter, yes thats the thing!
      I think I might need a lie down now, sleep, yes sleep——–

    60. Patrick Roden says:

      “Paris is an hour ahead….

      Duh! Just shoot me now!”

      This is a good debating point:

      Will their be the death penalty for anyone who gets the time wrong, in an independent Scotland?

      People must be told!

    61. Desimond says:

      Rev.St Campbell has agreed to tale down WingsoverScotland website in return for Aberdeen getting a Bye into the Europa League. Wullie Young to host a civic reception in tribute.

    62. heedtracker says:

      Guardian’s April fool worked really hard at their vote NO Scotland April fool thing but its a bit weird considering teamGB motorway network ends at Newcastle with A1(M) turning into one lane road to Scotland plastered with speed cameras.

    63. Linda's Back says:

      I didn’t need to check the calendar this morning as Labour have a party political broadcast on TV this evening.

    64. bunter says:

      State broadcaster up and running again on its website with a story of the cost of the white papers billboard adverts.

      They wont let this go it seems, but still no interest in the Whitehall 13 paper propaganda extravaganza and day return flights for the Westminster spokesliar and assorted flunkeys to deliver them.

      If it was a fair and balanced broadcaster then it would be looking into the other side of the story, especially after the roasting it got when it broached this subject on GMS a few weeks ago, but it seems no.

    65. Andrew Morton says:

      @Desomind

      You forgot to mention that AlexSalmond would be one of the principal guests.

    66. Linda's Back says:

      State broadcaster on about Bill Munro Barrhead Travel

      BBC RADIO SCOTLAND MORNING CALL
      Call 0500 92 95 00. Text 80295.
      Email morningcallscotland [at] bbc [dot] co [dot] uk

      Is this the same Bill Munro Barrhead Travel boss who was presented by STV as being an ‘undecided’ business-person in their pre-CBI interview package on Scotland Tonight last Wednesday?
      02.15 into
      http://player.stv.tv/programmes/scotland-tonight/2014-03-26-2230/
      STV journo’s lead-in…:
      “…some business people remain to be convinced one way or the other”…
      Funny that as his staff Memo was sent on 24th February. Perhaps he will clarify why he is now undecided or was his STV interview just a Better Together sham?

    67. heedtracker says:

      http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/exclusive-un-draws-up-peacekeeping-plans-in-event-of-scottish-yes-vote-9226892.html Non hilarious April fool from vote teamGB Independent too. Its like they don’t even read their own garbage product:-(

    68. Dondeeflugs says:

      “Tickets to Salmond Vs Cameron in REFERENDUM RUMBLE hosted by Ant and Dec and music from Bowie”

      https://www.itison.com/Edinburgh/deals/exclusive-salmond-vs-cameron-debate-tix

      Classic Hunty Gowk 🙂

    69. SquareHaggis says:

      The mannie Trumf is reopening his “greatest ever gowf course in the world EVER” this morning with a £200 reduction in tee fees for “local golfers” – that’s 75 pound a round!

      Now, I don’t suffer April fools gladly so I’ll be heading off to Royal Aberdeen for a 25 pound round next to that ugly Rubber Atkins wind turbine monstrosity.

    70. caz-m says:

      Just tuned into GMS BBC Scotland phone-in about Bill Munro and Scottish Business.

      And the Better Together guy on the phone has just re-named us CyberNats.

      We are now known as “Internet Bampots”.

    71. caz-m says:

      Ian McGill is the Better Together guy who has re-named us “Internet Bampots”.

    72. Desimond says:

      Can I just say that Internet Bampots is a term first used for Celtic fans daring to ask questions with actual facts behind them.

      True dat!

    73. Barontorc says:

      Surely this isn’t the same guy who runs a social care agency in Edinburgh that helps those less fortunate folks on the streets and is well thought of for it?

      Why do these apparently sensible people who are involved in inter-personal services like Barrhead Travel, Mackies ice cream, Tunnocks tea cakes, Baxter’s soup, pickles and jams, etc., then spoil it all with crass statements that stick two fingers up to the very people they get their living from?

      These guys should remember Gerald Ratner who in his own words says “I sell crap..”, which immediately wiped £500m off his company’s share value, never to recover,…‘I am the poster boy for failure on Twitter,’ the former king of bling smiles ruefully. ‘I don’t tweet myself, but if you search for me I come up as the biggest disaster of all time and when anyone screws up they call it “doing a Ratner”…’

    74. HandandShrimp says:

      I have no idea who Ian McGill is but I feel like I have just been savaged by a piece of sociopathic belly button fluff.

    75. Grouse Beater says:

      I regard some of the April 1st jokes an encouragement to rascism. (Complaining is always followed by “lighten up!”

      What we witness is the dominant nation reminding the smaller nation how powerful it is.

      It also tells us how neutral is the British press, and how seriously they take a peoples’ demand for full democracy.

    76. Marcia says:

      HandandShrimp

      A Tory candidate that never wins.

    77. The Man in the Jar says:

      @Sionnach and others.
      Regarding driving on the right. I think we should follow Ireland’s example. When they phased it in they started with the HGVs and worked their way down.

    78. Les Wilson says:

      A. Darling’s eyebrows have just proclaimed UDI!



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