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The news less fit to print 257

Posted on May 28, 2014 by

It’s not often that you see the same story on the front page of the i and the Financial Times. It’s even rarer – in fact, perhaps unprecedented – if that story’s about Scotland, because the otherwise-admirable mini-tabloid is barely even aware that there’s a part of the UK north of Newcastle.

(Its parent paper, the Independent, is we think unique among national UK newspapers in not even having a Scotland section, let alone a Scottish edition.)

ift

So when it happens, you know it must be a pretty darned significant story – one which the Scottish press will be all over like a swarm of wasps at a jam-factory picnic. Right?

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Welcome to Gobbler’s Knob 84

Posted on March 25, 2014 by

We think we might have just worked out why Scottish newspaper sales are in irreversible decline, readers. It’s because if you buy the papers for about two weeks you can just keep them in a drawer, bring them out a few weeks later and read all the same stories again without having to pay for them twice.

gobknob

Because in the Scottish media, every day is Groundhog Day.

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Quoted for truth #40 50

Posted on December 15, 2013 by

The Huffington Post, 15 December 2013:

“The number of Britons who think Ed Miliband is likely to be the prime minister after the next election has fallen dramatically, according to a poll.

Research by ComRes for the Independent on Sunday and Sunday Mirror found 21% believed the Labour leader would be in No 10 after the next election, down 10 points since May.”

This, remember, is after a summer in which the nation’s political commentators almost universally agreed that Miliband’s conference promise of an energy price freeze and subsequent talk of a cost-of-living crisis was winning the hearts of the country.

Last week three separate opinion polls showed Labour’s lead over the Tories down to a pitiful five points, despite 70% of the population saying they’d felt no benefit from Britain’s feeble economic “recovery”.

We don’t think Labour has ever sacked a leader who hadn’t contested at least one general election. Ed Miliband will lead them to the polls in 2015, and only one in five Britons thinks he’ll end up in Number 10. Don’t take our word for it. Don’t heed the experts. Don’t even examine the statistics. Listen to the people who’ll be voting.

Gutter press aspired to 87

Posted on October 18, 2013 by

We forget who, but someone we read this week – in the Herald, we think – referenced a line spoken by Jennifer Aniston’s character in an old episode of Friends (which we’ve managed to identify as S02E01, “The One With Ross’s New Girlfriend”):

“When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I just hit rock bottom. But today, it’s like there’s rock bottom, then 50 feet of crap, then me.”

We were put in mind of it by something in this afternoon’s Guardian.

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A sense of priorities 139

Posted on September 12, 2013 by

The papers, as you’d expect, take some differing views today of John Swinney’s draft Scottish Government budget, delivered in the Holyrood chamber yesterday. But two articles in particular caught our eye.

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    • robertkknight on Looking up at the stars: “British not Scottish that one… Yoo-kaye Adams, formerly of the Brit-Nat Brainwashing Channel. She’ll be on GB News next, with…Mar 13, 09:10
    • factchecker on Looking up at the stars: “A perfectly rational response. NC is telling us that it is entirely right to ignore the sovereign wishes of the…Mar 13, 08:22
    • 100%Yes on Looking up at the stars: “She’ll still put BBC before nationality.Mar 13, 07:48
    • Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “Re. My previous inexcusably intemperate post. May I obsequiously and regretfully add the correction that references to “Brown people” meant…Mar 13, 02:18
    • Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “Yup MB It’s just so much more civilised that the “chaps” just blow up the camel jockeys, mullahs and stupid…Mar 13, 01:59
    • Cynicus on Looking up at the stars: “Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh says: 12 March, 2026 at 7:26 pm “Peers backed the change by 227 votes to 221” ===== Well…Mar 13, 01:31
    • Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “Right Hatey Bin Hateful Stop invading countries right now and Give that stuff back. Geri as your a self confessed…Mar 13, 00:31
    • Iain More on Looking up at the stars: “Now i hear that the toxic Kaye Adams was removed from the BBC following alleged misconduct complaint against her. Several…Mar 13, 00:23
    • Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “HMcH Yawn.. An oath made under duress of unemployment in an area devastated by HMs psychotic government is no oath…Mar 12, 23:26
    • Diabloandco on Looking up at the stars: “Too few these days Sven!Mar 12, 23:02
    • robertkknight on Looking up at the stars: “Taxi for Swinney with G4S on the side would be nice…Mar 12, 22:27
    • Iain More on Looking up at the stars: “So the SNP SG continues to drag its heels over releasing the dirt on MI6 Agent Sturgeon. Taxi for Swinney…Mar 12, 22:24
    • Geri on Looking up at the stars: ““People are going to lose $trillions in wealth” Says the American on the telly. “Trump needs to get on the…Mar 12, 22:10
    • Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Stop talking utter shite. It’s Westerners who are squatting all over the ME & Asia Pacific. Military bases everywhere &…Mar 12, 21:30
    • Geri on Looking up at the stars: ““What can take it’s place. Well my answer to that is nothing will take it’s place. ” A vacuum will…Mar 12, 21:14
    • Northcode on Looking up at the stars: “James, you are one of those ‘fortunate’ Scots who sees the truth of Scotland’s relationship with England and has broken…Mar 12, 21:11
    • Northcode on Looking up at the stars: ““…we don’t even have our own academics of anti-colonialism.” There’s a Scottish academic who goes by the name of Professor…Mar 12, 21:05
    • Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “One interesting side effect of the opening of World War 3’s third offensive front is seeing all those maps of…Mar 12, 20:54
    • Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Bet Wilson is white and thus an easy target for two-tier justice.Mar 12, 20:42
    • Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Irony of ironies, Alf. We’re so colonised, we don’t even have our own academics of anti-colonialism. We have to import…Mar 12, 20:37
    • Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Looks like James has the sock puppets. But considering what he’s been doing in them, best await an offer from…Mar 12, 20:25
    • Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Dodged the questions again, Alf. Entirely expected, but don’t kid yourself the alert readers don’t notice.Mar 12, 20:20
    • agentx on Looking up at the stars: ““A mother-of-10 who kept a vulnerable woman captive as a slave for 25 years has been jailed for 13 years.…Mar 12, 20:20
    • Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Fact has it that you’re a man whose word can’t be trusted. Someone who swears an oath of fealty. Then…Mar 12, 20:13
    • Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Whatever we Scots have achieved, Northy, it’s fuck all to do with you. You’re a Pict. An untermensch. We Scots…Mar 12, 20:03
    • Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: ““We’ve only had one vote and we voted yes” Don’t you just hate it when commoners adopt the royal we?…Mar 12, 19:59
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Looking up at the stars: “PEERS VOTE TO GO BEYOND GOVT’S PLEDGE TO END NON-CRIME HATE INCIDENTS The House of Lords has voted to strengthen…Mar 12, 19:26
    • James Che on Looking up at the stars: “Northcode, Three hundred years and more of conditioning has to have had an effect on the people of Scotland, Goodness…Mar 12, 19:06
    • Sven on Looking up at the stars: “Diabloandco @ 15.55. He did indeed, D & Co, in the (very) late 1700s. His statue stands outside the establishment,…Mar 12, 19:00
    • James Che on Looking up at the stars: “Factchecker, You are right of course, the Scottish people have to attain the will to wake up first, prior to…Mar 12, 18:48
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