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Just don’t forget you ever knew me

Posted on May 26, 2015 by


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  1. 26 05 15 01:34

    Just don’t forget you ever knew me | Speymouth

79 to “Just don’t forget you ever knew me”

  1. Lanarkist says:

    National embarrassments!

  2. Lanarkist says:

    Totally comical brass-neckary!

  3. Baheid says:


  4. Lanarkist says:

    Fancy dress Receptions, eh!

  5. Lanarkist says:

    Chris, there should me more Brass collars in the box for Mundell, Rennie and at least Clegg if not more!

    Total stitch up by the Westminster Union Parties!

    No strings obviously attached to either characters so must be free will!

  6. StevieMcB says:

    Its the Unionist brass band.

  7. Lanarkist says:

    Snake oil works! Good lube if you need it, only £10k a squeeze!

  8. Thepnr says:

    Amazon has no brass necks left.

    They are on order, but I hear another factory is to be built to meet demand from MSM journalists and other Unionist politicians.

    Good stuff, thanks Chris.

  9. JammyDodger says:

    Fab, Chris.

    There’s not enough Brasso in the world to keep these two going!

  10. RogueCoder says:

    Another corker from Mr Cairns. Bad luck with The National front page – maybe you have spies in your midst??

  11. cearc says:

    Well if he doesn’t like it he could just resign. On the other hand, if he’s prosecuted he could swap it for an ankle tag!

    Well done Chris, have a good holiday (again!).

  12. Swami Backverandah says:

    That’s the brass neck the Tories have used to hang him out to dry.

    He might almost have been forgiven for falling into the Tory trap but he made the error of lying about his knowledge of the memo, claiming he only knew about it after it was published in the Telegraph.

    And allowing an unconscionable use of people’s taxes to be spent searching for a culprit who he knew to be himself.

    Misconduct unbefitting of an elected representative.

  13. Graham MacQueen says:

    Probably the wisest and most apt words ever spoken by Mr. Murphy!

  14. dakk says:

    lol.The best yet Chris.

    Dark and delicious,love it 🙂

  15. Grizzle McPuss says:

    Nice one Chris.

    But for the Brasso Boys, they just don’t look tight enough.

  16. Yesitis says:

    That`s the way it is, Chris.

    I have developed an unhealthy contempt for Carmichael and his coterie of cretins.

  17. Thepnr says:

    Chris, a minor gripe. The brass necks are not big enough, you would require humongous brass necks for Murphy and Carmichael.

  18. Lanarkist says:

    It’s an antidote to enough rope to hangitightus!

  19. MARY VASEY says:

    Poor Aliester is totally brassed off.
    He, he, he

  20. Tackety Beets says:

    Maybe the “Brass rings” should be gripping them tight in the nether region .

    Sorry forgot they aint got Balls !

    Creepy will turn into the ” Hoarse whisperer ”

    coats on cheers.

  21. osakisushi says:

    Scottish Labour SLAB
    Scottish Conservative and Unionist Member. SCUM
    Scottish Liberal Unionist Groupie SLUG
    Scottish National Party. SNAP

  22. Gillian_Ruglonian says:

    Wonderful Chris, two ‘toons in a week – you’re spoiling us!

    Hopefully they’ll keep you well stocked with material for years to come 😉

  23. Defo says:

    “Don’t worry, you get used to it… a wee dode of vaseline, and you’ll hardly even know you’ve been shafted”

  24. frankieboy says:

    The cartoon needs pants on fire too.

  25. Chic McGregor says:

    Now we just need a brass chain and a couple of sledge hammers and they can start work on that pile of rocks.

    More gravel, less grovel, that’s what we need.

  26. CyberMidgie says:

    Just seen the National’s version, and I have to say that the Chris Cairns original is *miles* better 🙂

  27. R-type Grunt says:

    Excellent cartoon Chris. Thanks.

  28. bookie from hell says:

    BBC lost the plot–panorama–most dangerous women in Britain

    here’s how neutral the journalist is

    Shelley Jofre
    @GeorgeFoulkes can you follow me back please so I can send you a DM?
    5:14pm – 25 May 15

    bfh–it’s like something out of brass eye


  29. Ken500 says:

    ConDems put up Oil taxes 11% (£2Billion) a year (up to 80%) exactly how was that helping the Orkney/Shetland economy. The Oil companies stopped exploration. The Isles pay more for fuel/energy than the rest of the UK despite producing it, under Westminster economic policies. How is that helping the Constituents.

    People who are resident in the UK will not be able to vote in the EU Referendum. People who have lived and worked abroad for up to 15 years will be able to vote. How is that fair or equal?

  30. Chris Cairns says:

    Just got up and worked out why everyone keeps going on about The National. Glad I didn’t wait until today to send it in! My thanks to the Rev for posting it last night.

  31. pete the camera says:

    Thanks for another cracking cartoon Chris

  32. Macart says:

    Neatly done Chris, ah likes it. 🙂

  33. mogabee says:


    Guessed you couldn’t let this one pass!

    Do hope that extra rings can be added to brass neck…

    he’s gonna need them.

  34. paul gerard mccormack says:

    love it. very funny. facial expressions spot on.

  35. Anagach says:

    The Lib Dems (Sir Malcolm Bruce) are on radio 4 Today, and its ok to lie in public office, everyone does apparently. Oh and Carmichael is a champion of diversity. One can only hope that they will be toast for the Holyrood elections.

  36. Grouse Beater says:

    What annoys is the way Carmichael and Murphy assume they have a right to govern even when it is clear they are inadequate for the task. But Carmichael’s constituents might yet save his skin. He seems to have made that calculation.

  37. marydoll says:


    Just found R4 by accident. Malcolm Bruce ( didn’t he give up his seat?) pontificating about what a good man Alistair Campbell is and he’s apologised so let him get on with his great work.

    When asked about the possibility of losing MSPs because of this he answered by a monologue about bruised and battered Scotland and a spouting of vitriol against NS.

    An odious man . About 8.22am

    Theres no doubt the wagons are protecting him.

  38. Grouse Beater says:

    Condemnation from economists of the window dressing powers in the Smith Commission:

    The report concludes: “Any Scottish Government will actually be severely constrained in its freedom of action – and will also have to spend a lot of its policy effort acting in a reactive, rather than pro-active, mode. The constraints arise because, in practice, it will not be able to change rates of income tax in Scotland too much from those in the rest of the UK: because it is being handed a single tool to manage multiple problems: and because it has limited economic powers to attempt to grow the economy and the tax base.

    “The perversity of the way the Smith reforms are being implemented means that Scotland could well find itself in a position rather like Greece – locked into a cycle of relative decline within a malfunctioning monetary union. Indeed, in certain important respects, Scotland’s position would be worse than that of Greece. Scotland is a resource rich country, but barred from controlling or accessing much of its own resources, and Scotland does not have anything like the range of economic and taxation powers possessed by Greece.”

  39. Today says:


    It appears that the SNP campaign strategy of calling Labour ‘Red Tories’ backfired in Edinburgh South constituency.

    It has been revealed that hundreds of elderly conservative voters backed Ian Murray mistakenly believing that he was standing for a newly red-branded conservative and unionist party. It is believed that this was what allowed Mr.Murray to retain his seat.

    One voter told us:
    “I’ve voted tory all my life and this new red colour makes it far easier for me to see who I’m voting for”

    Mr Murray was unavailable for comment.

  40. desimond says:

    In the new Scottish Wizard of Oz..the Brass Man asks for integrity but the Wizard says “Dont be a Wizard not s miracle worker!” While the Lion sharpens its claws

  41. JPJ2 says:


    “When asked about the possibility of losing MSPs because of this he answered by a monologue about bruised and battered Scotland and a spouting of vitriol against NS.”

    Caught some of that by chance myself. As usual, in spite of Carmichael’s lying and smearing, the message is always “SNP Bad”.

  42. Socrates MacSporran says:

    Brilliant cartoon Chris.

    I looked at it and immediately thought: Father Jack and Father Ted.

  43. Glamaig says:

    Complaint going in to R4 for their piece about 8.15 this morning. They allowed Malcolm Bruce an uninterrupted rant for several minutes, felt longer. Danus Skene got about 10 seconds. Malcolm Bruce sounds very bitter and twisted.

  44. JPJ2 says:

    Bookie from hell

    Shelley Jofre.

    No question in my mind that she was pro-SNP in her student/youth days. Don’t know if she has changed-some do, of course e.g.Jack McConnell, Brian Wilson.

    Also, she is the daughter of the retired SNP MSP Kay Ulrich.

  45. G4jeepers says:


    Might have something to do with his self-promoting “Ian Murray” brochure he was putting through the letterboxes, you know, the one the presenter held up just after Murray scraped through at the count, the one he got angry about and accused the presenter as being “infantile” about.

    Anyone got a copy of it?

    Would love to see.

  46. G4jeepers says:

    P.P. I recall him being asked why it had no Labour branding on it.

  47. Sinky says:

    The usual Better Together suspects attacking Lesley Riddoch over Carmichael in the North Britain letter pages

  48. unchillfiltered says:

    The Friday-afternoon-before-a-bank-holiday release of this affair has taken it’s toll. Without new juice the media cannot sustain it as a big deal, verses fresher stories. A hard lesson in cynical news management. But the towering injustice of this odious figure clinging on will not be without it’s dividends and revenge is a dish best served cold. And by May ’16 it will be icy.

  49. Mosstrooper says:

    read some of the BTL comments attacking Lesley. The stuff of deranged nightmares. One deluded creature even says that only the FM commented, so the French Ambassador and the French Consul don’t matter although they were ar the meeting.

    What dim witted fuckwittery goes on in their heads?

  50. frogesque says:

    Well done Chris!

    Should be big enough to stop him floating when he’s finally thrown into the North Sea.

    O/T but relevant.

    Regarding legal action, would this close down debate – it’s sub judice, right to fair hearing, too much in the public domain, trial by media, blah blah, blah rhubarb?

    That said, I’m in for £6 if the crowdfunder gets off the ground. Only need another 999 (I like the number!) similarly minded good folk to raise the £6k needed to get it going.

    Would raise the profile and cause far more inconvenience to Cambell than any online petition could. Even if it failed there would be a skid mark on his brechs he’d never wash out.

  51. Almannysbunnet says:

    Malcolm Bruce (Sir) is having a go at the SNP for “bullying” Alistair Carmichael, in a “divided and bruised” Scotland. I thought we were fairly united myself but then I’m maybe looking at it from a different perspective than Sir Malky. I see he has also mysteriously increased his Northern Isles majority from 800 odd to 2000 odd. If he thinks we will buy his “but all MP’s lie” to cover Carmichael’s arse he can think again.

  52. galamcennalath says:

    Great cartoon, again. Capturing the situation perfectly.

    You definitely need a brass neck to continue on regardless in the way these two are!

    Both need to go quietly into the night and contemplate their situation and futures.

    Sinky says:
    “The usual Better Together suspects attacking Lesley Riddoch over Carmichael in the North Britain letter pages”

    BetterTogether adherents, from ‘professionals’ through to amateurs, have an astonishing ability to ignore the facts. It’s so often a case of “I have my opinions so don’t upset me with facts”. They still try to suggest there was truth in the Tory preference accusation. One comment even claims only NS has denied the accusation which completely ignores the statements of Ambassador and Consul.

    The memo itself said it was doubtful, Carmichael has recently admitted it was false, everyone involved first hand said it was false, …. and not least the sneaky method of release without seeking collaboration suggests the perpetrators knew it was nonsense.

    Why won’t BT types just accept the issue is not the accusation anyway, but the underhand behaviour and subsequent deceit?

  53. frogesque says:

    ^ me @ 10.05

    Ooops, should have been Carmichael, not Campbell

  54. Balaaargh says:

    See, all this whining about the former Secretary of State for Portsmouth has backfired.

    According to the BBC, he’s only gone and INCREASED his majority! Whodathunkit!

  55. IvMoz says:

    See this –

    The article states:

    “Malcolm Bruce, the Liberal Democrat’s Treasury spokesman said: ‘Government ministers, particularly at the Treasury, should maintain the highest standards in terms of reporting and adherence to rules.

    ‘With regret, I believe that Mr Robinson’s credibility at the Treasury has now been seriously undermined and it is time for him to consider resignation,’ he said.”

    Changed your tune Sir Malcom.

  56. heedtracker says:

    UKOK unionism creep show should have one all to its self. The gall they have, that whole UKOK media cover up, their sneering “do you really want a one party state, well do you?” condescension, to “Alistair’s a jolly fine chap so give him a second chance”, civil service making the fraud public just before a bank holiday…

    If they can get him into court, lets see how brass his neck really is.

  57. Barontorc says:

    What is this crowdfunding appeal for? Is it to cover the costs of legal council? Do we need to submit a payment to lodge an appeal/case against the sitting MP? Is it to ensure every voter in O&S is aware of the facts of this case – something which by now surely is well known about and unnecessary?

    I want this lying toady removed from the political scene asap and will put in my ‘tuppenceworth’, but am interested in why funding is needed to progress such an open and shut case.

  58. wee_monsieur says:

    Brilliant cartoon, Chris.

  59. Fiona says:

    @ Barontorc

    I recently had occasion to go to court over a civil matter. It costs £90 to lodge an initial writ and £214 just to have a hearing. That is for a simple matter in the sheriff court. I imagine taking a case such as this is more expensive. You have to pay the money in advance just to start a case

  60. K1 says:


    “The purpose of this crowd fund is to raise cash for legal representation to hold Alistair Carmichael accountable for his behaviour before, during and after the election campaign.”

    Let’s give it ‘Wings’

  61. Fiona says:

    @ K1.

    I represented myself in the case referred to above. Those costs are automatic and nothing to do with paying lawyers

  62. Lollysmum says:

    O/T but not

    Link to O & S fundraiser

    Surely this is a cause we can all support 🙂

  63. call me dave says:

    Good cartoon indicating that the ‘brass section’ of the unionist orchestra is getting bigger.

  64. sensibledave says:

    @ Heedtracker 10.16am

    … just on a point of reality. UK media cover up? Where? Where is it being covered up? Does anyone who follows the news not know the story? An MP has been caught, red-handed, lying and has publicly admitted so. It was on the national news!

    Despicable behaviour of this type will be punished ultimately. Whether his constituents can get the momentum together for a recall, I don’t know – but the publicity surrounding this issue will, I am betting, result in Carmichael’s resignation. His position is not tenable and, sooner rather than later, he will be gone.

  65. Frank says:

    BBS reporting of (SIR?)Malcolm Bruce’s defence of AC states that AC held his seat by “over 2000” votes. A quick check of the BBC’s election results confirms it was actually 817 votes. Sloppy work. Incidently it appears it’s ok to lie about anything in Libland!

  66. Petra says:

    Just checking in to get a news update on the Carmichael fiasco.

    Has he resigned yet? Has Roddin resigned yet? Better still have they been sacked?

    We all understand what was behind them (whoever is involved) leaking the memo, but just putting that to one side for a moment and considering that there was no ill-intent who in their right mind would ever want them, say Carmichael and Roddin, to be involved in any way whatsoever with ANYONE ELSE in FUTURE? With their ‘history’ they would be unsuitable candidates for employment at a Call Centre.

    Clear and honest communication between a Minister, Special Advisor and the public is paramount to the job that they do. Ministers and Special Advisors have to maintian professional integrity at all times. In this case, even taking it that they thought their allegations were correct, they were clearly trying to undermine Nicola Sturgeons credibility, in the process using Foreign Diplomats, in an attempt to manipulate the outcome of an Election in Scotland and South of the border.

    It’s clear, at the very least, that they are capable of misconstruing information, are totally incompetent and not to be trusted. If this related to you and I we would be sacked on the spot.

    It has been said that this was a Breach of Protocol. Could it be considered to be a Breach of Confidentiality (Data Protection Act (1998) or The Official Secrets Act 1989 (doubtful I know but trying it out anyway). The (latter) Act makes unlawful disclosure of certain limited categories of information (for example security and intelligence, defence, international relations, and information which may lead to the commission of crime) a criminal offence.

    If not has Roddin breached any articles of the Civil Service Code of Conduct?

    As I understand it Special Advisors are less regulated than Ministers or civil servants however Special Advisers are temporary civil servants appointed under Article 3 of the Civil Service Order in Council (1995) and are required to conduct themselves in accordance with the Civil Service Code. It looks to me as though Roddin has breached any number of articles in the Code.

    A few examples: ”Special advisers should conduct themselves with integrity and honesty. They should not deceive or knowingly mislead Parliament or the public. They should not misuse their official position or information acquired in the course of their official duties to further their private interests or the private interests of others.”

    ”Special advisers should not, without authority, disclose official information which has been communicated in confidence in Government or received in confidence from others.”

    Of course Carmichael, in this case, WAS the ‘authority’. The man who didn’t read the memo, lol!

    ”The highest standards of conduct are expected of special advisers and, specifically, the preparation or dissemination of inappropriate material or personal attacks
    has no part to play in the job of being a special adviser as it has no part to play in the conduct of public life. Any special adviser ever found to be disseminating inappropriate material will automatically be dismissed by their appointing Minister.”

    Has Roddin been dismissed yet?

    ”Special advisers must not take public part in political controversy whether in speeches or letters to the Press, or in books, articles or leaflets; must observe discretion and express comment with moderation, avoiding personal attacks; and would not normally speak in public for their Minister or the Department.”

    Why did Roddin contact the Telegraph and have numerous conversations with a reporter? Isn’t that the remit of Press Office personnel?

    ”Special advisers must not take part in the work of the Party’s national organisation. Most special advisers will resign on the announcement of a General Election. Those who remain in office to work on Government business must take special care to ensure that they do not use official resources for Party political purposes or take any active part in the Election campaign.”


  67. heedtracker says:

    sensibledave says:
    26 May, 2015 at 10:46 am
    @ Heedtracker 10.16am

    … just on a point of reality. UK media cover up? Where? Where is it being covered up?

    I don’t really know how to show you a media cover up like this. BBC Scotland are the worst offenders for this but try to imagine the media rage at an SNP MP this crooked, this brazen and this much of a Carmichael con man?

    Instead we have the endlessly silly teamGB rage over House of Commons seats and twits like Rees Mogg calling SNP MP’s wasps at his picnic.

    A good start point might be, why did they make this enormous fraud on Scotland public the Friday of a bank holiday, why isn’t a tory boy BBC shill like Nick Robinson heckling Carmichael when ever he pops up and so on?

    Could do this all day really.

  68. Natasha says:

    Just contributed to the fundraiser, it’s now at over £1000 in 13 hours, with any luck should hit its target quite quickly. Ridiculous, though, that ordinary citizens should have to pay for basic justice over and above their normal taxes.

  69. sensibledave says:

    @ Heedtracker 11.29

    For once, we are, sort of, on the same side. I agree that Carmichael should be hounded out of office.

    Where you are going wrong with this is your perception of how “important” it is as a national story. In terms of Scottish politics, of course it has greater resonance but, at any given time there has been an MP somewhere in the UK that is the news for bad behaviour, lying, whatever, and it doesn’t matter what party they are in. Whether its a fake sheik sting of the “money for influence” type, or an inappropriate “selfie” on a dating site, an errant spouse, an expenses scandal (Andy Burnham currently under fire) they all get some coverage and then the world moves on. However, over time, the “system” usually gets the culprit one way or another. Hopefully, the Lib/Dems will do something about Carmichael soon. If not, then he will be treated with derision everywhere he goes and, belatedly, be forced into doing the “right” thing.

  70. carjamtic says:

    The Prisoners Dilemma

    ‘Tic for Tac”

    Sorry Jim

    ‘I thought you said Tac for Two Tits’

    ‘Must have got lost in translation !’

    Best yet Chris 🙂

  71. heedtracker says:

    If Carmicheal was a LibDem MSP you’d have a sort of point but this bloated fraud is most definitely an MP, was a minister at the time of the offence and LibDem’s are a UK party. This much you smear away, like Britnats do do.

    “Whether its a fake sheik sting of the “money for influence” type, or an inappropriate “selfie” on a dating site, an errant spouse, an expenses scandal”

    So, all be it secretly and not thinking he’d be caught, minister and fraud Carmichael steps in to the UKOK general election in April by the the whole teamGB media attack machine all they need to monster Sturgeon and after she polls well ahead of Cameron. When he’s caught, the fraud even explains he knew that the memo was “incorrect” and yet now he lies about his lies as they do.

    We know how teamGB media went after Sturgeon and we know how the GE turned out and fraud Carmicheal’s leak played a historic part in all of it.

    I’d say that was a tad more important than fake sheiks or silly selfies but then I’m a vile separatist and I want Scotland to be a one party state etc etc bleh bleh UKOK bleh.

  72. sensibledave says:

    @ Heedtracker 12.28

    … I am certainly not trying to smear anything away. Carmichael has behaved despicably and should be gone.

    It is interesting that you cannot find it within yourself to accept that we might agree on something. To paraphrase, “Is it ’cause I is a Tory”?

  73. Les Wilson says:

    Brilliant as usual Chris,inspired.

  74. Chic McGregor says:

    “Malcolm Bruce sounds very bitter and twisted.”

    Accuracy is still no excuse for a time differential like that. 🙂

  75. heedtracker says:

    To paraphrase, “Is it ’cause I is a Tory”?

    Some of my best friends are tories. You are merely playing the UKOK media game.

    How did that work out for you Dave? lol

  76. sensibledave says:

    @ Heedtracker 1.32

    … as my old mum used to say heedtracker, you’d create a row in an empty house.

    You are just creating straw man arguments.

  77. heedtracker says:

    You are just creating straw man arguments.

    You mean shut up and let those who know best decide. Once again, hows that working out for you SD? lol

  78. Auld Rock says:

    “Brilliant” as usual.

    Auld Rock

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