Honest Jock
Posted on
May 06, 2021 by
Chris Cairns
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A tall tale
Wee Books
Video
Probably a robbery
Transphobia
Independence will never happen during Sturgeon rule.
Thank you, Chris, for some therapeutic and very necessary laughter.
.
Chris,
You are a genius.
Am still struggling with either…
SNP Constituency (X)
Alba List (X)
Or
Spoil Constituency (Where’s the £600,000 Nicola)
Alba List (X)
EVERYONE PLEASE REMEMBER TO MARK YOUR BALLOT WITH AN “X”
Not numbers 1, and 2 etc.
Also please stay safe.
Some of Mr. Cairns’ finest work.
Will a spoiled constituency vote invalidate the whole ballot paper or are they separate sheets?
For the first time today, I voted Labour. The lesser of two evils as I want Sturgeon to be sent a message and hopefully a poor showing in the constituencies will do that.
I know it undermines the chances of my second ALBA vote counting for much, but so be it. I’m just hoping Alba get more than the greens so Ross Greer loses his seat.
Funny.
Saw this guy when I was out at 5.30 this morning putting Alba boards up.didn’t seem to be selling many,
Certainly none to me, spoilt paper,nose too sore from holding it for years.
Unsigned – They are separate . So you can spoil one and it wont affect the other.
Sturgeon and the cowards who allowed her to do this will never be forgiven. I hope this is the beginning of their end.
Yet another absolute belter , Chris, something to smile about as I debate whether it’s SNP 1 or a spoiled ballot paper.
just voted…snp 1 (yes it was difficult)…alba 2 (pleasure)
…come on alex!
Held my nose the last time, but Nicola Sturgeon seems content to cut her’s off to spite her face. Can you imagine what we’d be hearing on Friday if Alex Salmond wasn’t encouraging people to vote SNP 1? P
That being said this is my rouges gallery on the constituency:
Stuart McMillan – SNP: Career politician who votes against things that he previously campaigned on, just because it’s not in the party line or because the Tories have proposed it. About as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike.
Francesca Brennan – Labour: Daughter of Provost Martin Brennan. Inverclyde has an aging population and still an affinity for Labour at times, (has a Labour/Tory run coalition on the council) may do better than expected. But still a unionist vote.
Jacci Stoyle – Lib Dems: To be fair Lib Dems have a good policy on mental health. But a unionist vote.
Caroline Hollins – Conservative: Midwife. I can respect people who nail their colours to the mast and state their cause, I understand they’re passionate about it as I am about Independence. But Tory and Unionist, it’s a no.
John Burleigh – Independent: Ex- school teacher who runs a bunnet business. Cycles about on a bike with a sign saying ‘Stop the SNP’, might agree on part of that I knew why he wanted to stop the SNP. Won’t say his stance on Independence. Has a great idea on ferry link from Inverclyde to Ireland to Spain, would help a deprived area, but don’t know his thoughts on anything else.
Regional: Already decided Alba.
I really want to believe that the SNP will go for Independence, but with Nicola Sturgeon in charge I truly believe that she will dig her heels in and say no, just because Alex Salmond is sitting in Holyrood. I feel my vote might have a better message if it’s spoiled. My future votes are up for grabs then.
It terrifies me to think the stuff that a SNP/Green government could do, I can live with a clear mind and say ‘I didn’t vote for this’
My SNP candidate believes in `activism through theatre`,
jeez fricken o.
Astonished – thanks: from an Englishman wishing Scotland well today!
Last weekend I spoke to my daughter about the election, she’d heard of Alba but knew little about them,
We had a discussion and she agreed she’d give Alba her list vote, however yesterday she was told she had to self isolate for 10 days which meant she couldn’t vote, but she’s just text me to say she’s trying to set up a proxy vote so I can vote for her, I means a short 20 minute journey to Forfar but I’m more than happy to do it.
I’m so proud of her and all the Alba women
Anyone that wants independence to kick off under this party and this leader is like a thirsty man crawling across the desert, no longer thinking rationally and driven by thirst.
They would make a mess of a Yes vote from day 1, because it is not their focus. I’m sure many in the SNP do think about a referendum and how to get a one – but like the Joker in the Dark Knight, they’re like a dog chasing cars, only in this case it’s a Yes vote. They wouldn’t know what to do with one if they got it.
Independence may be the purpose of the SNP, but nobody can tell me it’s their focus – and nation building is not a great time to be winging it.
They will not change unless the electorate weakens them and forces them to think again.
You should not feel comfortable with your constituency vote today.
I just know voting SNP on the constituency is going to trouble my conscience for a long time. Partially compensated for by voting Alba on the list.
This much I do know from friends and neighbours. If a referendum fails to materialise during this term then the
SNP are finished. They will get very few votes from my neck of the woods again.
Great toon Chris, needed that.
Received a text from SNP this morning (they still refuse to accept I resigned from the party ages ago and am now Alba!!) bet they still count me as a member lol.
Text says election on a knife edge vote SNP 1 and 2.
Just can’t believe a word they say.
Interesting thought though, the text gave a code to “opt out” of receiving texts with a number to send. Wonder if they are trying to see how many will “opt out” and therefore give them an idea on strategy? I will of course not bite.
I’ll be SNP1 (holding nose against the Ming) and Alba2 (thanks Alex for giving us hope)
To everyone who is saying spoil your constituency vote and vote ALBA on the list, have a word with yourself. Vote ALBA only works is we get an Indy supporting majority. But you already know that. If you have no intention of voting for INDY in the constituency you might as well pack up the whole thing now.
Voted SNP for constituency and Alba for the regional list.
Peachy!
No peg needed because the cunning plan ,if followed by those who know, will cleanse the SNP and expedite indy.
Independence is normal and as welcome,warm and cuddly as a kitten.
It is also very healthy,wealthy and wise.
I used my own pen also.I will frame it if the result is a RESULT!
Ooft!
That has to be your best yet Mr Cairns.
OOFT – that ones an absolute belter Chris. Superb.
All the Alba signs up at Perth Polling Stations. I’m going to suggest it will be a good turn out.
Any Perthonians out there, can you keep an eye out for the posters and sit them back up if they ‘fall’ over. Many thanks.
Got a nice hello from the SNP guy doing Jim Fairlies signs. A glower from another SNPer.
Anyway, we shall see.
Nicola Sturgeon – also known as Worm Tongue – is whispering poison into Scotlands ear yet again with talk of a coalition with Scottish Labour. No doubt without any real Party discussion.
That’s how desperate and afraid she is.
If she loses to Sarwar, I will be popping champagne all fucking weekend…..
The MSM were pushing the “ALBA finished” theme hard yesterday and giving the Greens a big build up. It looks very much like an attempt to make the vote fit the rigged polling.
The polling has been designed to portray a lost cause image – don’t buy it! Get out and vote ALBA on the list. I understand in some constituencies a nose peg will not be enough for some SNP candidates.
ALBA are going to do well today and no amount of spin will cover up the distortion by the polling companies. They have been trying to influence the public instead of reporting their views.
I suspect the sanity of anyone with idiot in their name.
Same neg story from same idiot. Neg because Sarwar is a red Tory Unionist.
The problem with not voting SNP on the constituency ballot is that it increases the chance that they’ll win a list seat – so it could potentially cost Alba a seat. It’s not particularly likely, but theoretically it could happen.
Famous 15
I will take a red tory unionist over a yellow tory unionist any day of the week.
and because you’re a bit slow…..I mean NS to be the yellow tory unionist.
But glad you are SNP 1 ALBA 2 – as am I. At least we can agree on that.
I just hope all the blue tories in Glasgow Southside get out and vote for Labours Sarwar
NS says nothing is off the table……except a coalition with either the Tories or ALBA.
She really needs to go.
Sincerely hope all who voted for SNP are not going to spend the next five years on here moaning about your participation! If your capable of such influence why have you not already achieved it ?
A lot of voters have had to step away from party of choice to vote tactically to lessen the impact of SNP . But we do so with a clear conscience. We have opted to protect the future generations!
Alba has to influence not just current “ yes” voters leaning to SNP but win over “ no “ voters . That’s a big shift you are not factoring in !
Then you have the “ Brain drain” to contend with . My exit plan is already in place for my family ! Trust issues are running deeply through the tax paying population . However you get what you voted for but nothing worse than listening to people complain about their own choices in life when they have made them from a fully informed position . Some of us have choices and will execute them if there is only one priority and the future generations well being so easily dismissed or down graded !
Don’t for a minute think we will get on board on your command when you had the opportunity to act !
Idiot?
Pax?
Keys?
@Lynn says:6 May, 2021 at 9:18 am
If your [sic!] capable of such influence why have you not already achieved it ?
“You’re” or “you are”, not “your”.
Spend less time trolling and more time on spelling and grammar, champ.
Mr Murrell seems to have lost a bit of weight, and grown a ‘tach.
Gender neutral pegs?
Lynn
Rhythms with Gin.
Bit early tho….go easy girl.
‘Alba’ on list.
Straight line through all the boxes on constituency, wrote ‘Women Won’t Wheesht!’ beside Ruth Maguire’s name.
And that’s it done and dusted.
Possibly the last time I will vote.
Scunnered beyond description…
deerhill says:
6 May, 2021 at 9:30 am
Mr Murrell seems to have lost a bit of weight, and grown a ‘tach
Is that “Robbing Peter” to pay for the Poll?
I’ll just get ma coat… lol. (Gonna need it with snaw in May FFS!!! When I mentioned Sturgeon’s eternal winter, it was a metaphor, but fuckity fuck….)
Voted.
Turnout at my polling station seemed brisk for this time of day, although whether it’s because more will be voting or because folk perceive there will be long queues later due to Covid precautions, I couldn’t say.
But the act of actually voting itself was seamless and the process didn’t take any longer than usual (or not noticeably so).
High time Scots were honest about themselves. Enough of anglicization, americanization and other foreignization trickery. Let Scotland, in all its historic and cultural manifestations be Scotland. 300+ years is too long in others shadows. Into the light and be free.
Btw shouldn’t sign read Polling Place?
I see that Unionist Fanny and history distorter Neil Oliver has posted-
Neil Oliver
@thecoastguy
·
16h
Je suis Jersey.
Sold the F***ing Jersey Neil.
Why are these islands just off France English, because the worlds biggest
war munger were willing to kill the French for it.
How can they impose Brexit when we are in a Covid Epidemic?
If England declared war on France the whole of the EU would support France.
I know who’s side I’d be on if it came to it.
@Kerfuffle 8.42am
There is next to zero prospect of pro indy parties failing to get a majority. The SNP is on course to virtually sweep the boards in constituencies: the Greens are a far greater danger to winning those seats than folk spoiling their constituency ballots or not using them because they just can’t vote SNP.
Even if I hadn’t already decided not to vote SNP 1, Sturgeon’s recent pronouncements would have changed my mind. If the Tories win Edinburgh Central again it’s down to the Greens insisting on standing and the SNP pissing off a large section of its voter base.
I will not vote SNP: clear eyes, full heart, can’t lose.
Great cartoon Chris.
You are the best this country has to offer without doubt!
Believe it or not I just wrote the name ‘James Dornan’ down a couple of hours ago, I go for a quick look at WoS and there he is. Fabulous likeness. Couldn’t be better.
Good luck to Alba today, and special thanks to all the blokes voting for women’s rights as well as independence – kudos to you.
What was the reason for not having exit polls – not dodgy at all eh!
No matter the outcome of the election I hope that there’s been a complete and sustained shift amongst the indy movement. No more sitting around waiting for the She/Her secret plan trope. Time for the independence movement to take back control – make your voices heard!
I hope there’s Alba peeps on Alex Salmond’s region doing clicker counting of voters going into the polling stations. I don’t trust they won’t try to rig it with ghost voters to keep Alex from winning.
Ha ha had a good laugh at that, although it’s so true.
So what’s a “win” today.
For me, it’s
SNP 60
Greens 1 or 2
Alba 8
Unionists the rest.
Would make Sturgeon dependent on Alba and she would resign, or so you would think, but she wouldn’t.
She would form a minority govt, voted in by Labour, and ignore Alba.
So, no matter what happens, she not work with Alex, so Indy is gone until Sturgeon is also gone.
Hopefully the police investigations and the civil service court case will get her and she will be humiliated in public and hounded out. Karma.
Today I spoiled my first vote, and Alba on the 2nd.
Couldn’t hold my nose, the stench is too great.
deerhill says: at 9:30 am
“Mr Murrell seems to have lost a bit of weight, and grown a ‘tach.”
———————–
He’ll soon be on the run and needs a new disguise, the reduced fat can be stuffed out with the missing 600,000 quid that he’s nicked from the supporters…
Best one yet Chris! Sure I’ve said that once or twice before.
Brutal. Once of Mr Cairns best.
he,he,he!!
I think if the powers that be pulling the strings of the electoral commission thought they would score a goal by stopping Alba’s logo going in the ballot, they are in for a surprise. I think they might have actually shot themselves in the foot (for the thought police, that is metaphorically speaking).
Why?
Because it is the only party in a rather large ballot without logo. If you wanted to vote for Alba and are afraid you will tick the wrong box, you just have to look for the party with no logo… and there it is, second one in the list.
The truth is that for not so young people, whose eyesight might struggle a bit with the fine detail, the logos, specially if there is a lot of them (my peach ballot was almost three times the size of the purple one), become a bit of a blur. But a nice empty square in a see of black and white blur is much more difficult to miss…
Mr Salmond is an incredibly astute tactician. Did they purposely leave it too late so the logo would not go into the ballot?
How long before Johnson threatens the French with our British Nukes.
Tories always seem to manufacture a war/crisis situation when they are unpopular.
Andy Ellis @ 9.56 am
I will not vote SNP 2: clear eyes, full heart, can’t lose.
There, Andy, sorted. SNP 1 Alba 2
Re the Record floating an SNP/Lab coalition, with the apparent support of the First Minister, one wonders whether the paper has any leverage it could use to force her into it.
Been there , done it.
Couldn’t vote for the SNP or spoil my vote, so voted for the Scottish Family party… sounded harmless enough.
And of course ALBA on the list vote…
Just voted for Alba. First time I havent voted SNP In my life.
Alba is rising!
Dear Monsieur Macron,
Please don’t fire your pompt-de-pompt boom-boom les atomique at the Palace of Westminster, London SW1A 0AA, 51.4995° N, 0.1248° W, right next to the bibliotheque.
Yours in mangetout,
Etc.
Deed is done….
Constituency vote: “I cannot vote for the SNP because [redacted]” and a line through all the voting boxes
List vote: Alba
Just voted. The guy that gave out the voting slips had a copy of the Daily Express folded in half with the top half showing it’s headline – ‘don’t vote SNP to stop Indyref’ or words to that effect. The newspaper was just to the left of where he handed over the voting slips, so impossible to avoid seeing. I asked if it was allowed to have such blatant political advertising in a voting station. He tried to indicate that he “never thought of it like that”.
Most of the MSM papers have similar headlines, but having one on display where you pick up the voting slips is just taking the piss.
@effigy
The reason jersey is not french is because it has never been french. They were norman lands and they conquered the british isles and turned england and scotland french.
Learn some history before you spout rubbish. The english and the scottish are norman french.
Nose pegs are not enough.
Just a simple no, either spoil ballot, or vote to give the scum a message and have them gone. Alba can and will pick up the mantle.
Great cartoon Chris and in my constituency the SNP had the candidates plus the MP working the doors in a vain attempt to try and ameliorate the haemorrhage of votes away from their challenger candidate.
Gerrymandered candidate inserted by the Woke leadership to carpet bag a supposed marginal is not going down well. The scale of the slide is what is concerning the leadership, and it is the scale of the slide, and only that which will change things for the better. Surgeon and her gang have no divine right as they will find out.
And the Council candidates for next years council elections had better sit up because the glory days of weighing the yellow SNP votes expecting as a matter of right to get elected is coming to an end. And of course, come the council elections there may well be Alba candidates to replace poorly performing SNP.
Off back out now. Polling stations to attend.
RM Kartoffel
Voting Labour in your Constituency vote won’t affect the amount of seats ALBA get in the regional vote.
That’s just the SNP 1 Brigade’s very own version of Project Fear.
Scozzie @9.57
ALBA has arranged for people to go round polling stations taking a tally of votes cast and check on turnout- hopefully countrywide. Certainly here they had more volunteers than needed.
“Vote SNP 1 and ALBA 2 so child molesters and Chicks with Dicks get access to female changing rooms and toilets”
“This will lead to women and young girls being sexually assaulted in places that were once women only spaces.”
There, sorted that for you crazy, dyed in the wool Sturgeonistas….
The Rev Stu says:-
“So we’re making a plea from the heart. Spoil your constituency paper, readers. For children, for women, for gay people, for Scotland and for kindness”.
The Rev also tells us to vote for Sarwar if you are in the Glasgow Southside Constituency.
@Mark Boyle
I am dyslexic but don’t come here for you to kick my disability. Really, really poor taste !
Easier to do that than address the content it seems . Bully Boy !
I a as m no troll . I openly said I was undecided when I originally posted ! I watched you all debate back and forward and because of that moved away from the party I probably would have voted for ! You all influenced me then call me a “ Troll” .
Sorry for errors it gets worse when I am upset !
When the Rev hangs up his keyboard, the very people who are going against EVERYTHING he has suggested you do today will the the first to tell him to change his mind because they just love his blog for his guidance and honesty.
You lot (SNP 1 Brigade) will be one of the reasons the Rev is packing it in.
Because with your support the corrupt Perverted Bastard Sturgeon will get another five years, only this time she’ll have a Supermajority.
So Rev for your own sanity and qualify of life, here’s wishing you all the best for the future.
If no one is listening to you, then you know that is the time to throw in the towel.
Don’t Vote SNP, as the Rev has repeatedly told you.
Message for Tory voters today:
Stay home, save lives, protect the NHS.
Ha, ha Chris, spot on, I can’t believe that we’ve been asked to vote for Sturgeon the Betrayer by Salmond after what we’ve learned about her and her government.
However would voting for a unionist party be any better, I ask is the illusion that we’re going to have an indyref, better than having a unionist party holding office at Holyrood, I mean does it bring us any more comfort.
We need the Alba party to do well, and if it does, it will surely be another five years of Sturgeon the Betrayer as FM before Alba rises enough to make a real difference.
If the Alba party fails to get a decent foothold at Holyrood, I guess we can kiss not just independence goodbye, but women’s rights as well, and Scotland will then be well on its way to becoming some sort of Kafkaesque regime ruled over by Westminster and a Scottish government content to have a small piece of the ruling pie.
@John Martini says: 6 May, 2021 at 10:26 am
@effigy
The reason jersey is not french is because it has never been french. They were norman lands and they conquered the british isles and turned england and scotland french.
Learn some history before you spout rubbish. The english and the scottish are norman french.
You’re correct about the Channel Isles, but if you are going to pull up Effigy over history, the Norman invaders were not French but Viking settlers granted land in return for ceasing raiding and who intermarried with local French and Celtic tribes for strategic alliances – the clue is in the name NORMAN-dy.
Meg Merrilees @ 10.54am
Thanks for confirming that – it’s reassuring. I’m so suspicious of jiggery pokery at play.
Mark Boyle
I think you owe Lynn an apology.
Quick style.
You lowlife piece of shit.
@6 May, 2021 at 10:38 am
@Mark Boyle
I am dyslexic but don’t come here for you to kick my disability. Really, really poor taste !
Easier to do that than address the content it seems . Bully Boy !
Dyslexia doesn’t cause you to have piss poor grasp of “your”, “you’re/you are”, champ. It causes you to reverse letters or put in spaces within letters. What you did was just a standard thick troll’s howler – all too common amongst Generation Text.
@mark boyle
They were indeed vikings but they had adopted a franco roman feudal system. The franks were themselves germanic and not gaulish.
Norman
noun
a member of that branch of the Northmen or Scandinavians who in the 10th century conquered Normandy.
John Martini,
That is news that the Viking Norman’s from Normandy in France
shouldn’t be classed as having a connection with France.
You say the conquered the U.K. so we are actually under the
Norman government in Westminster?
The Duchy of Normandy which they formed in a treaty with the French Crown
included the Channel Islands.
Norman French is still spoken today in parts of the Channel Islands.
@mark Boyle . Both myself and my son are dyslexic. Have a record of needs and classed as having a learning disability .
I am not engaging with you any further as you clearly don’t understand the neurological issues associated with an auditory processing disorder that prohibits hearing or storing the information . If you investigate further you will see transferring the method of learning from cursive writing to typing is very problematic and issue crop up in processing. My son was in special needs until primary five but left school with five straight A highers . It is not necessarily a hindrance to overall education if the right support and the pressure of decoding and encoding removed . To suggest I don’t have a disability by your cheap assessment is against my protected group rights . It’s well documented . I am able to evidence my position but should not have to . My husband on the other hand is qualified to affirm my position and finds this completely unsatisfactory.
Call me what you like but don’t tell me I don’t have an issue I have worked hard at all my adult life to overcome . You made me feel really stupid and unearthed the inner child who was terrified of being asked to write or read in public . There is really no need !
Now you have hung my disability out to dry why not just address the points . Easy to police something you have a better grasp of than someone else but lacking in so many way .
I leave you to it .
Never spoil your ballot paper, that just plays into the hands of those you don’t want in power. Vote for a complete Independent if you can’t find anyone worthy.
Obviously ALBA has to get everyone’s vote. We’ve got to build ALBA up to be the next Scottish Government after another 5 years of ineptitude, inaction, and inanities from the so-called leading parties.
“Never spoil your ballot paper, that just plays into the hands of those you don’t want in power.”
No it doesn’t. Certainly not if your alternative is actually voting for those people.
Lynn says:
6 May, 2021 at 11:47 am
@mark Boyle .Both myself and my son are dyslexic. Have a record of S-N-I-P-!
Aye right, so you do, and whatever else you last googled.
The only “condition” you have is a serious case of Roasteritis.
PatrickJones/Gordon/Hudson/Rock/kcoR/Andy/Labour4Indy/Stainless Steel/EugeneHenderson/StainlessSteel/MarketForce, etc, how many alias is it now you’ve run up on here? Away get yourself a life, you sad wee incel.
Well said Lynn. You defend yourself articulately but shouldn’t have to do so. It’s the problem of coming on a forum such as this. People feel free to make facile judgements and be unnecessarily confrontational.
The temperature on some threads has been raised by the presence of commenters whose sole aim appears to be disruptive (commonly known as trolls). However, that does not mean that someone should have to expose their problems in order to defend themselves against attack. I don’t know what on earth was so provocative about your post to have caused such a reaction.
The SNP1 fanatics responses to this are beyond parody!
Truly sickened that any Scot will still vote for the snp or greens. You are vile and should hang your head in shame. We’ll done everyone else for having morals and decency for women now and the children who are at risk of unimaginable crimes.
@JGedd,
Thank you , I really appreciate it .
Mark has a point, on this day in particular we have more important subjects to dwell on than dyslexia or virtue signalling.
I’ve just marked the spot, but have a terrible feeling of absolute contempt for all the political class, the media and the stupid electorate
What happened to discussion in the workplace, years ago it was like a page out of The Ragged Trousered Philanthropist, sitting on a wooden plank supported by two upturned buckets in a house being renovated, taking our “piece” and flask tea and discussing politics, football, foreign affairs and social mores.
We were far from stupid in those days or far less so than the people of today who are slaves to fashion and celebrity.
Cupid Stunts the lot of them they are worth no more than what they are about to receive.
Stu, Chris
I just wanted to thank you both. Over the years you have been hugely inspirational… Who knows what comes next… But what came before, from you, certainly changed Scotland…
Many thanks …
Can people who don’t want to take a pragmatic decision stop virtue signalling about the ballot spoiling antics. Don’t tell us how you will write off the ballot paper. Just gonnae no. If you are not prepared to follow the clothes peg line of SNP 1 Alba 2 except in some specified constituencies just wheesht.
Region? I voted Alba.
Constituency? I wrote “Personal vote for” above the candidate’s name. I then used my tipex-type ‘correction roller’ to cover the SNP Logo at the right and “Scottish National Party” under the candidate’s name.
I used the remaining space in the candidate’s box to write “Scrap the HCA + Scrap Gender self I.D.”
I then marked my cross against his name.
It will be recorded as a spoilt paper but the vote will go to the candidate, as it is unambiguous. But it will be read out to the election agents at the count.
That’s my tipping at windmills.
The issue with the the peg-on-nose voting is that the SNP would never admit any of their votes came from such a source, so every one will be taken and waved around as a ringing endorsement of their policies. A pleasant (seeing as it’s only normal election staff that read them) but clear message spoiling of the paper seemed appropriate.