I always like to try to salvage something of value out of the most worthless commodity of the digital age: spam. Most of the cast of characters in Hell Yeah! are named after the "senders" of spam emails, and earlier today I was going through the followers on the Twitter account of my Scottish politics site blocking all the pornbots and noticed a slightly odd shared characteristic in the process.
Almost every one had a single-word biog, and as I went down the list it seemed to have a certain poetry. I had just enough syllables to make two haikus (plus titles), with four left over. If you can do better with the words, send 'em in.
There are two reasons I’m incredibly happy about suddenly and unexpectedly rediscovering it – as I just have – of which the first is the less important.
Alert readers may recall a few weeks back I gave an interview to a blog written by a bunch of – well, let's call them "games journalists" for want of a more accurate term. A straightforward enough business, you might think – ask questions, get replies, publish, done. It didn't work out quite that simply.
While the interview caused a huge hit spike on the site and an unprecedented number of comments (over 100 compared to their usual three or four), this sudden influx of visitors and attention caused great consternation among some of the blog's editors other than the charming and talented young writer who'd done the interview.
Two of them – a pair of particularly lily-livered Future Publishing corporate drones – whined all over Twitter and elsewhere that the (incredibly mild) arguments in the comments were so beastly and upsetting that they were considering deleting the entire site, rather than attract all these awful, horrid people (ie, readers) to it by speaking to such a nasty man.
Long story short, to spare the hurt feelings of the less-popular stories on their blog (which is to say, all of them) the interview has been quietly deleted. So I've retrieved it and posted it below for posterity.
Man, I've been waiting for this to happen for ages. A long long time ago, when I was barely half as old as I am now, there was a magazine called Cut. A sort of artsier Scottish version of the NME, it was a music-and-culture-and-politics newspaper that came out either weekly or fortnightly, I forget which.
Either way, in 1989 Cut began publication of a comic strip written by Grant Morrison (the eccentric/mental creator of Zenith and The Invisibles, among many others), called The New Adventures Of Hitler.
Owen Mullions on The Undertaker: “James Kelly back with his 6th post of the last 7 about the man who is ‘obsessed’ with him?. I…” May 14, 16:10
wullie on The Undertaker: “Here’s a thought. Well maybe three Willie McRae shot HIMSELF in the back of the heid, thew the gun away…” May 14, 16:01
Dislogical on The Undertaker: “Didn’t the perfect storm already hit? Shame the SNP did nothing with it.” May 14, 15:33
Dislogical on The Undertaker: “In an earlier article about list votes you appeared to be predicting the SNP would have a majority. Do you…” May 14, 15:31
James Cheyne on The Undertaker: “Hear hear, Uk is not a Country.” May 14, 15:26
Peter McAvoy on The Undertaker: “I voted yes yes in 97 why can’t they use their limited powers over tax to reduce the income tax…” May 14, 15:10
Ian McCubbin on The Undertaker: “It’s as clear as day Swinney and his SNP grifting team don’t want independence. If you do vote Alba, ISP…” May 14, 15:06
sam on The Undertaker: “Why are Scots not more like the English seem to be? https://www.centreonconstitutionalchange.ac.uk/Future-of-England-Study “60% of voters in England say current politics…” May 14, 15:04
Lorn on The Undertaker: “I have been trying to pin down his voice and attitude. I thought the Rev. I. M. Jolly, too, but…” May 14, 14:54
SilentMajority on The Undertaker: “Swinney. Whenever his coupon appears on the TV, invariably the mute button gets selected. I find that Eeyore has a…” May 14, 14:32
Andrew Morton on The Undertaker: “Swinney is the Gordon Brown of the SNP.” May 14, 14:24
Vivian O’Blivion on The Undertaker: “I’ve worked in businesses which are cyclical, and subject to the vagaries of the market they service. During the troughs,…” May 14, 14:10
Jon Drummond on The Undertaker: “Well, we both know that they are both full of shit. It pays them well to be so.” May 14, 14:08
Jon Drummond on The Undertaker: “Indeed! Don’t forget the line… And nothing ever happens, nothing happens at all.” May 14, 14:05
Lorn on The Undertaker: “It is tempting to think so, and I have no doubt at all that at least a few at the…” May 14, 14:04
Casper1066 on The Undertaker: “Awwwwww….. you have a very keen fan….” May 14, 13:57
Oneliner on The Undertaker: “Robertson and Swinney – the Hinge and Bracket of Scottish politics. One does the arranging, the other sings the words.” May 14, 13:56
Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on The Undertaker: “Have you even yet not pondered the possibility that Salmond-assassinating Swinney, Sturgeon, Leslie Evans, etc etc, might well not be…” May 14, 13:30
Frank Gillougley on The Undertaker: “After the 2014 referendum I remember thinking that Scotland was a cadaver: a body on an operating table but with…” May 14, 13:24
Red on The Undertaker: “Cozy Feet Pete has decided the problem with Scotland is that it’s full of Scots – Pete Wishart @PeteWishart My…” May 14, 13:10
Rev. Stuart Campbell on The Undertaker: “Compelling point, there, Robert.” May 14, 13:10
ROBERT GALLOWAY on The Undertaker: “WHAT ARE YOUR GAINS ALWAYS ATTACKING SCOTLAND,S GOVERNMENT! NEVER WESTMINSTER! THE ENGLISH CHOICE OF LESLIE EVANS AS MAIN CIVIL SERVICE?…” May 14, 13:00
Aidan on The Undertaker: “I actually think a strategy of trying to get independence support clearly into the 60% region (and that support being…” May 14, 12:41
Shug on The Undertaker: “To paint themselves into such a corner surely takes some skill or compromise. The sooner the Salmond case comes to…” May 14, 12:29
robertkknight on The Undertaker: “There’s more chance of England voting for it’s own independence than there is the SNP legislating for IndyRef2. As a…” May 14, 12:28
James Cheyne on The Blindness Of Hatred: “The not that the Scots were not invited to join into the union! Actually it was. The Westminster parliament from…” May 14, 12:28
ian lecoup on The Undertaker: “perfectly put “Swinney speaks with all the fire and verve of a weary old church minister burying his fifth stranger…” May 14, 12:26
willie on The Undertaker: “Like the Yes donkey cartoon. Typifies to a tee the SNP and its latest incarnation of a First Minister. Not…” May 14, 12:23
desimond on The Undertaker: “The needle returns to the start of the song And we all sing along like before And we’ll all be…” May 14, 12:20
willie on The Blindness Of Hatred: “Oh and just in the passing I read today that Fergusson Marine yesterday advised MSPs that the will now be…” May 14, 12:19
