And I would ask 500 more
It’s indescribably beautiful that the No camp’s much-trailed “500 questions” PDF about independence actually features 507. At least they’re getting their arithmetic wrong downwards for a change. When all those are answered they promise hundreds and hundreds more, so we thought we’d give them a head start on Volume 2.
508. What’s that coming over the hill in an independent Scotland? Is it a monster?
509. War! HURGH! What will it be good for in an independent Scotland?
510. Who’ll put the bomp in the bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp in an independent Scotland?
511. Who’ll put the ram in the ramalamadingdong in an independent Scotland?
512. How much is that doggy in the window in an independent Scotland? (Not the one with the waggly tail, the other one. We won’t be able to afford ones with waggly tails, and nobody knows what currency we’d be paying with.)
513. What time is love in an independent Scotland?
514. Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near in an independent Scotland?
515. When, will I, will I be famous in an independent Scotland?
516. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, IF a woodchuck could chuck wood in an independent Scotland?
517. Why does it always rain on me in an independent Scotland?
518. Is this the way they say the future’s meant to feel, or just 20,000 people standing in a field in an independent Scotland?
519. If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me in an independent Scotland?
520. Who let the dogs out in an independent Scotland? Who? Who?
521. What’s inside a girl in an independent Scotland?
522. If a picture paints a thousand words, why can’t I paint you in an independent Scotland?
523. What’s the frequency in an independent Scotland, Kenneth? (Presumably “of death threats from evil cybernats to your lovely daughter”.)
524. I would do anything for love in an independent Scotland, but I won’t do what?
525. Kelly, can you handle this? Michelle, can you handle this? Beyonce, can you handle this? I don’t think they can handle this in an independent Scotland.
526. What if God was one of us in an independent Scotland?
527. What would you do if you saw spaceships over Glasgow in an independent Scotland?
528. Is she really going out with him in an independent Scotland?
529. What difference does it make in an independent Scotland?
530. Did you fall off a building and land on your head, or did a truck in an independent Scotland run over your face instead?
531. WHAT’S she gonna look like with a chimney on her in an independent Scotland?
532. What’s so funny ’bout peace, love and understanding in an independent Scotland?
533. Do you take me for such a fool to think I’d make contact with the one who tries to hide what he don’t know to begin with in an independent Scotland?
534. Dancing at the disco, bumper to bumper – in an independent Scotland, where’s me jumper?
535. Ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn’t have fallen in love with in an independent Scotland?
536. All my people, right here, right now – d’you know what I mean in an independent Scotland?
537. You know I hate to ask, but are ‘friends’ electric in an independent Scotland?
538. Why don’t we do it in the road in an independent Scotland?
539. Where do we go from here? Is it down to the lake in an independent Scotland, I fear?
540. What costume shall the poor girl wear to all tomorrow’s parties in an independent Scotland?
541. What was it to you that a man laid down his life for your love? Were those clear eyes of yours ever filled with the pain of tears of grief? Did you ever give yourself to one man in this whole world? Or did you love me, and will you find your way back one day to Xanadu, in an independent Scotland?
542. Have you seen your mother, baby, standing in the shadow in an independent Scotland?
543. How do we solve a problem like Maria in an independent Scotland?
544. Grocer Jack, Grocer Jack, is it true what Mummy said – you won’t come back in an independent Scotland?
545. Did you think I would leave you crying, when there’s room on my horse for two in an independent Scotland?
546. Thurston! Watt! Thurston! I think it’s ten thirty, we’re calling from Providence, Rhode Island. Did you find your shit in an independent Scotland?
547. What’s new in an independent Scotland, pussycat?
548. Who’s the black private dick that’s a sex-machine to all the chicks in an independent Scotland?
549. Baby, where did our love go in an independent Scotland?
550. Jeepers creepers, where’d you get those peepers in an independent Scotland?
551. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi in an independent Scotland, ce soir?
552. Do you plan to let me go for some other guy you knew before in an independent Scotland?
553. Whose bed have your boots been under? And whose heart did you steal, I wonder? This time did it feel like thunder in an independent Scotland, baby?
554. What if this party fears two in an independent Scotland?
555. Are we men, or are we Devo?
Join in any time!
What will be the ‘union dividend’ in an independent Scotland?
Is there any chance we could at last see the return of that master of entertainment, lightning wit and repartee that was the legendary Glasgow Bus Conductor, in an independent Scotland? Personally, I just love a man in uniform.
Can we still set our phasers to scunner in an Independent Scotland.
How many ships sail in the forest in an independent Scotland?
How many strawberries grow in the salt sea in an independent Scotland?
Will the pandas in Edinburgh Zoo still be singing if you like it then you should have put a ring on it in an independent Scotland?
888. Post independence, will stairheid rammy expert, Johann Lamont try not to look & sound like a stairheid rammy expert?
Will ye go lassie go in an independent Scotland?
Will Ryan miss his wee roll and sausage in an independent Scotland and has he dropped out of university yet?
Will occasional tables always be tables in an Independent Scotland?
EdinScot says:
7 May, 2013 at 1:01 pm
Will Wendys brain still be the size of a planet in an independent Scotland?
Uranus
Does the Scottish government have any plans to ascertain the whereabouts of Lord Lucan and the remains of Shergar in an independent Scotland?
Will the waiting for the federals finally be over in an independent Scotland?
YesYesYes says:
7 May, 2013 at 1:49 pm
Will Ryan miss his wee roll and sausage in an independent Scotland and has he dropped out of university yet?
Brilliant?
Will Donald’s ancestors be upset that he hasn’t made life better for them in an independent Scotland?
Will Donald have got rid of his fleas in an independent Scotland?
To Westminster: If I wanted to break free. I want to break free from your lies, you’re so self-satisfied and I don’t need you. Would an Independent Scotland allow me to do this?
Bugger (the Panda) says:
7 May, 2013 at 1:52 pm
EdinScot says:
7 May, 2013 at 1:01 pm
Will Wendys brain still be the size of a planet in an independent Scotland?
Uranus
LOL! So they can still talk out their assholes in an independent Scotland then?
Will Auntie Mary’s canary still be allowed to live up the leg of her drawers in an independent Scotland or will the RSPB have something to say about that?
Clarinda says:
7 May, 2013 at 1:52 pm
Will occasional tables always be tables in an Independent Scotland?
Zen
How will Bob Marley like his doughnuts in a separate Scotland?
Will the red, red robin still go bob, bob bobbing along?
Exactly how quickly should one bugger off in an independent Scotland?
#HIGNFY
In an independent Scotland, is this the real life or is it just fantasy?
Will one man from Carntyne and a great big greyhound dug called Boa band a lassie called Senga go to join the Parish without the requisite bottle of wine because of minimum pricing on alcohol in an independent Scotland?
With reference to Lobeydosser – how many legs will horses be allowed in an Independent Scotland?
Will I still be allowed to Smack my bitch up, in an independent Scotland?
Yours I. Davidson
What is an independent Scotland all about, Alfie?
Will those three old ladies still be locked in the lavatory in an independent Scotland?
Can we have Freddie Mercury, Brian May, John Deacon and Roger Taylor in drag on the stamps in an independent Scotland?
Will Ian Taylor want his dirty money back in an independent Scotland?
Yaffa yat? Whit yat yaffa in an independent Scotland?
@Jeannie. LMAO in a nearly Independent Scotland
@major bloodnok
With reference to Lobeydosser – how many legs will horses be allowed in an Independent Scotland?
– Just one rank bajin
Why were they there from Monday till Saturday in an independent Scotland?
and
Why did no-one know they were there in an independent Scotland?
and
Why is my question mark key being worn to a frazzle in an independent Scotland?
How many dollars will I have to have in my hand when I’m waiting for my man in an independent Scotland?
Would I be able to put 200 people in a room and pretend its 600 people in an Independent Scotland?
Will The Reverend De Wayne Love of the First Presbyterian Church of Elvis the Divine become Moderator of the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland in an independent Scotland?
Will Katie Birnie’s wooden leg still be allowed to kick the bairnies oot o bed in an Independent Scotland?
Where do you go to my lovely, when you’re alone in your bed in an independent Scotland?
Will the pheasant plucker’s son still be filling in until the pheasant plucker comes in an independent Scotland?
Will Telly Savalas need a licence in an independent Scotland ?
@JamieArriere
Back streets of Nairn, I think she said.
19 September 2014 It will have only just begun in an Independent Scotland
Will special k chocolate & strawberry flavoured cornflakes be able to speak with a Scots accent if we put them up our nostrils when we stand next to that ‘nationalist shillobith’ in an independent Scotland on a rainy day?
The Man in the Jar says:
Will The Reverend De Wayne Love of the First Presbyterian Church of Elvis the Divine become Moderator of the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland in an independent Scotland?
I do hope so, if not I ain’t gonna go to Goa…
I just can’t help myself.
921 (7)(f)(iii). Optical Illusion: –
When Scotland achieves independence, will Jackie Baillie’s arse make my car appear to look smaller than it actually is?
Yes.
Will ye gang love and leave me noo in an independent Scotland?
Will it be compulsory to step we gaily on we go, heel for heel and toe for toe when we go to Mairi’s wedding or will we still be allowed to feck the whole thing up and make arses of ourselves like we usually do after a few drams in an independent Scotland?
When we have the report into the research on the discussion and ask questions of that research so we can report to the report and debate it – will we already be in an independent Scotland?
652 (G)(7)(viii). APPRENTICESHIPS
22. WOODWORKING
d). Leadership
After independence who will be responsible for screwing the drawers off the tallboy?
@Albalha
Knowing her as I do, it would more likely be doon at the harbour looking longingly out to sea.
lol
Where will the energy be in that debate in an independent Scotland?
@GC Graham
After independence who will be responsible for screwing the drawers off the tallboy?
Well, it cannae be Jimmy Saville – he’s deid.
754. STATE BENEFITS
Is thurr nae chance of gettin ‘sumfin fer nuthin’ fae stairheid rammy expert Johann Lamont efter indy pendance?
Whit aboot a free Tunnock’s Tea Cake?
@Stuart Black
at 2:31pm
All we need is some damn fool lying on some foreign beach wearing psychedelic spandex trousers smoking damn dope thinking he’s getting conscious expansion. If I want conscience expansion I go to my local tabernacle and I sing! In an independent Scotland!
How will the man from Del Monte react to a “No” vote in the referendum?
@Albalha
Knowing her as I do, it would more likely be doon at the harbour looking longingly out to sea.
lol
….the number of times I’ve been down there at fuckin four in the morning in ma jammies….
Rolling down the hill. In yellow and black. I see a figure out in front me. His body shapes itself accordingly. Will Alex Salmond have stabilisers fitted in an independent Scotland?
High Noon on 18 September 2014:
Oh, to be torn twixt love and duty
Supposin I lose my fair haired beauty in an independent Scotland?
Do members of the Orange Order get upset when they’ve been tango’d?
Will a door still be a-jar in an independent Scotland?
Who is God? Well, it’s an invisible person, and he lives up in heaven, up there. God is somebody who rules the world. He’s sort of like a spirit, I guess up in outer space. He kind of started all the plants growing, and he started people. Well I guess he’s kind of big and fat. He can see us whatever we do, whatever we do, he has such powerful eyes, he has to have millions and thousands and billions, and he can still see us when we’re bad. He could be sitting on the table right now, but you can’t see him. If he was a bad man, he would make everything bad, and we wouldn’t have electricity, he wouldn’t make people; that’s what would happen if God wasn’t nice. He’s not though, what – a lot of people think he’s just a feeling – but I think he’s a real person. Well, I think that God, um, isn’t a person, but he’s up in the heavens, and he’s watching over us right now. But will he go in the huff if Scotland becomes independent?
link to youtube.com
If I’m laying lino in an Independent Scotland, will I still need a flair for it?
Will we still get to call a half loaf, a half loaf, in an independent Scotland?
Will an Independent Scotland lobby for Houghmagandie to become an Olympic sport?
@Roddy Mac,
“Will Donald’s ancestors be upset that he hasn’t made life better for them in an independent Scotland?
Will Donald have got rid of his fleas in an independent Scotland?”.
LOL. So it was you who posted that video on You Tube? I think it deserves another airing, just to remind ourselves what we’re up against:
Will the Wichita lineman still be on the line in an independent Scotland?
Will Mary Mac’s mother still be makin’ Mary Mac mairry me in an independent Scotland?
Will our womenfolk still come from a long line of fannies in an independent Scotland?
And for the benefit of undecided voters:
Will the UK become, rumpUK or formerUK
I mean you can’t have FU KIP and FU KOK
Will we all still be allowed to be in Garry Glitter’s gang if we go independent or will he not want us any more?
Will people on the East Coast still have the bizarre habit of requesting “salt n sauce” on their chips in an independent Scotland?
One day the whole world will do this
Will people on the East Coast still have the bizarre habit of requesting “salt n sauce” on their chips in an independent Scotland?
SALT’N’SAUCE WILL BE COMPULSORY.
Wull Donald at last be able tae say whaur his troosers are in an independent Scotland?
Wha wid fill a coward’s grave in an independent Scotland?
(no, let’s not start another list….)
@Sneddon
Aye Right!
Youl have had your tea?
Will there be drunken sailors in an independent Scotland, and if so what will we do with them?
Will ye no come back again no come back?
How much will a penny caramel be in an independent Scotland ?
Kendomacaroonbar
A penny. That takes be back to the 1950’s when we used to annoy the local shop with daft questions like that – ah memories. Will be allowed memories in an Independent Scotland>
YesYesYes says:
7 May, 2013 at 3:32 pm
@Roddy Mac,
LOL. So it was you who posted that video on You Tube?
Guilty, M’Lud.
“Will be allowed memories in an Independent Scotland”
As long as they don’t involve any other part of the union. Any memories involving rUK will be vetoed by Westminster.
Will nostalgia be like wot it used to be in an independent Scotland…Marcia n’ me wanna know ….and what about the workers ?
Will the lads in white still go at the speed of light in an independent Scotland? Will it still be good to be young and daring? Twitter clarification on these important points is yet to be heard from Pete Wishart.
Rev How many posts on the one subject do we need to break the record in an independent Scotland .
What about pointed sticks?
Silverytay: we broke the record about 300 ago
Will Bonnie Wee Jeannie McColl still be the belle of the ball in an independent Scotland?
@Roddy Macdonald,
“Guilty M’Lud”,
The gravity of your offence is such that although, against my better judgement, I am not empowered to impose a custodial sentence on you, the limited powers that the Rev Stu has invested in me leave me no alternative. I therefore sentence you to a 12 month subscription to Labour Hame, a letter of repentance to the Truth Team and a night out at a Bangladeshi restaurant with Ian Smart. I hope the severity of this sentence will be a deterrent to others who may be tempted to engage in these vicious cybernat crimes.
If 4 and 20 virgins come down from Inverness, by the time the ball is over will there still be 4 and 20 less in an independent Scotland?
Were the 4 and 20 virgins fae Inverness and Bonnie Wee Jeannie McColl at the same ball?
Is there a Co-operative hall in Kirriemuir?
This just in from BetterTogether headquarters at Pacific Quay:
What is the difference between a duck?
#500Questions
Jeannie
Where are you going to find the 4 and 20 virgins in Scotland after the independence vote, 2014, nevermind Inverness.
On a less probable note, I was just stuffing a chicken and Maggie “Stair heid” Curn came into a my mind.
Can I get rid of these thoughts in an independent Scotland, pleeeeeeeesssssseeeeee!
And will the yin that did it last time still no be able tae dae it noo in an independent Scotland?
Will Tunes still help us breathe more easily in an independent Scotland?
What is the difference between a duck?
One of its legs both work better together.
Will the Gay Gordons be allowed to get married or will they just have to make do with a civil partnership in an independent Scotland?
My favourite from Twitter:
“Will my border collie need a passport…in an independent Scotland “
Patrick,
I posted the original earlier on this thread..somebody has copied it….Brill !!
Have you heard? Its in the stars that next July an Independent Scotland only will collide with Mars.
Well, did you ever. What a swell Union this is.
and we had colour in those days. or was it color?
My Bullterrier had an EU passport and chip so he could cross land borders without problems.
Will my marriage licence still be valid in an independent Scotland, but not anywhere else ?
In an independent Scotland will the First Minister stop stroking or brushing the side of his head/face whilst answering questions at FMQ’s?
What would be the boiling point of water in an independent Scotland?
Would Blue Peter badges still be valid in an independent Scotland?
Can Alex Salmond guarantee that Godzilla would not attack an independent Scotland?
Will Lucy still be in the sky with diamonds in an independent Scotland?
Will M’Lud Jack McConnell allow his elderly neighbour to use the coal shed in an Independent Scotland? His neighbour needs to know! (preferably not through the court).
link to bbc.co.uk
Will the Hillman Imp make a comeback in an Independent Scotland? (people of Linwood need to know).
To me this is such an appropriate song
link to youtu.be
Will I still be able to wear a faux hat when someone mentions Auchtermuchty in an independent Scotland?
Will there still be one for me and 19 for you in an independent Scotland?
Will cauld winter still howl o’r moor and o’r mountain in an independent Scotland?
More importantly: Will Galloway still be bonny in an independent Scotland? (no George NOT you).
Will we still teach kids to sing Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes in that order in an independent Scotland or will be allowed to mix the order up just to confuse them?
Will I still be able to watch paint dry in an independent Scotland?
Will I still be able to watch the grass grow under people’s feet in an independent Scotland?
In an independent Scotland will the old custom be resurrected of designating the first carriage of the last train from Glasgow to Coatbridge on a Saturday night as “for single singers only”?
Can you make yourself a happiness pie in an Independent Scotland?
Saw a girl in Edinburgh today with a bag saying “Buckie Lugger” on it. Will we still be allowed to laugh at spoonerisms?
@Kendomacaroonbar Nice one buddy
Will bairns still ‘run aroond the streets we thir erse hingin oot the back oh thir troosers’..
In an independent Scotland.
Joybell,
Maybe she was actually carrying some Buckfast’s famous tonic wine in her knapsack …hence the luggin ?
what will ‘ i cant believe its not butter’ taste like in an independent Scotland
Will we still be allowed to speak English in an independent Scotland?
What time will bedtime be in an independent Scotland?
Kendomac
I got the tonic wine bit, but my husband got the spooner bit. I’m not usually so slow. Honest. Maybe I’ll be quicker in an independent Scotland.
Whatever happened to the Chi Rho’s in an independent Scotland?
“what will ‘ i cant believe its not butter’ taste like in an independent Scotland”
That’s an easy one – the answer is it still won’t taste like butter.
Bored now.
Will we still be able to leave the toilet seat up in an independent Scotland ?
Can we hope that the sentiment expressed in Hugh MacDiarmid’s poem “The Parrot Cry” comes to fruition in an independent Scotland?
Tell me the auld, auld story
O’ hoo the Union brocht
Puir Scotland into being
As a country worth a thocht.
England, frae whom a; blessings flow
What could we dae withoot ye?
Then dinna threep it doon oor throats
As gin we e’er could doot ye!
My feelings lang wi’ gratitude
Ha’e been sae sairly harrowed
That dod! I think it’s time
The claith was owre the parrot!
Tell me o’ Scottish enterprise
And canniness and thrift,
And hoo we’re baith less Scots and mair
Than ever under George the fifth,
And hoo to ‘wider interests’
Oor ain we sacrifice
And yet tine naething by it
As aye the parrot cries.
Syne gie’s a chance to think it oot
Aince we’re a’ weel awaur o’t,
For, losh, I think it’s time
The claith was owre the parrot!
Tell me o’ love o’ country
Content to see’t decay,
And ony ither paradox
Ye think o’ by the way.
I doot it needs a Hegel
Sic opposites to fuse;
Oor education’s failin’
And canna gie’s the views
That were peculiar to us
Afore our vision narrowed
And gar’d us think it time
The claith was owre the parrot!
A parrot’s weel eneuch at times
But whiles we’d leifer hear
A blackbird or a mavis
Singin’ fu’ blythe and clear.
Fetch ony native Scottish bird
Frae the eagle to the wren,
And faith! you’d hear a different sang
Frae this painted foreigner’s then.
The marine that brocht it owre
Believed its every word
– But we’re a’ deeved to daith
Wi’ his infernal bird.
It’s possible that Scotland yet
May hear its ain voice speak
If only we can silence
This endless chatterin’ beak.
The blessing wi’ the black
Selvedge is the clout!
It’s silenced Scotland lang eneuch,
Gi’e England turn aboot.
For the puir bird needs its rest –
Wha else’ll be the waur o’t?
And it’s lang past the time
The claith was owre the parrot.
And gin that disna dae, lads,
We e’en maun draw its neck
And heist its body on a stick
A’ ither pests to check.
I’d raither keep’t alive, and whiles
Let bairns keek in and hear
What the Balliol accent used to be
Frae the Predominant Pairtner here!
– But save to please the bairns
I’d absolutely bar it
For fegs, it’s aye high time
The claith was owre the parrot!
Morag says:
Bored now
Move on then, some folk have just joined the party.
If Stu would put up a fresh post, I’d be out of here.
Changing Herald story, England trying to grab our oil, it’s all good.
“If Stu would put up a fresh post, I’d be out of here.”
DAY. OFF.
Will Buckfast come in biodegradable bottles in an independent Scotland?
Kendomacaroonbar says:
Will my marriage licence still be valid in an independent Scotland, but not anywhere else ?’
It’ll make holidays abroad interesting
YOU CAN’T HAVE A DAY OFF!
Your country is not yet free, and you talk of “day off”? (That’s what the convener of my previous SNP branch tended to say if we tried to get out of a campaign day or something.)
Will Bill Stickers be free from prosecution in an independent Scotland or would other countries apply to have him extradited?
Goodnight!
In an independent Scotland, how will we ever know who put the bop in the bop shoo wop shoo wop or who put the dip in the dip da dip da dip?
Will Howling Wolf singing The Constipation Blues be an independent Scotland’s national anthem ?
Will we have had our tea? in an independent Edinb Scotland?
Dammit, it was Screamin’ Jay Hawkins. (Bloody Fiddich again)
You know, y’all are repeating yourselves….
Will Scottish Labours polices consist of Gonynodaethat” First Minister of Scotland–”How?” Scottish Labour – “Just Gonyno?” In an independent Scotland?
How many of us googled “The Constipation Blues” to see if it existed? I guess we’re sorry now!
But haud oan Morag … the Union Dividend allows us to be ‘bored’ and ‘repeat ourselves’ without the fear of invasion or being targeted by North korea. What I say is will we be able to have the luxury of being bored and to repeat ourselves in an Independent Scotland, could we afford that? I think we should be told!
Morag says:
You know, y’all are repeating yourselves.
Yup, I’m looking forward to the ones around midnight or later (weesmileything)
Hey Rev, I’ve just been playing with the Hootsman and London Labour Poll and body count algorithim and it looks like you’ve passed the 21,000 post mark for this thread !
BTW I did not compile the above list, i came across it on a well known hifi forum. I cant confirm the authenticity, but if it’s even partially correct, people should know about it. No need for 500 questions as to why we need out of this corrupt system.
“BTW I did not compile the above list, i came across it on a well known hifi forum. I cant confirm the authenticity, but if it’s even partially correct, people should know about it”
If it’s only “partially correct” then it’s all kinds of libellous.
How many shades of grey will there be in an independent Scotland? enquiring minds want to know
Did a big boy do it and then ran away in an independent Scotland?
Will there be jam in an independent Scotland? (There will be cake but there is no jam)
DPICT: we’re going to need some links to evidence before we publish that very long list of very serious claims.
Will Scotland win the Eurovision Song Contest as an Independent country.
Shall we give our neighbour 12 points?
This information is available to anyone interested but as i said, i did not do the research.
link to sovereignindependentuk.co.uk
This is most lightly the source of the info i came across but there is so many sites available.
If we try really hard, could we persuade London to redraw the maritime boundary and take some of that problematic, volatile oil off our hands in an independent Scotland?
Or as one wag reportedly said, “Problematic stuff that. We really ought to get rid of it as soon as possible. Has anyone tried burning it?”
101st. Broadband or Band of Brothers
Will Aye-Pads be marketed as opthalmic field dressings or personal communication devices in an independent Scotland?
Will we still be able to eat pickled onion monster munch in an independent scotland?
Will “Jackie Ballie” stop lying her arse off on radio Scotland right now, in an independent Scotland.
Will the Crisps still be Crisp in an Independent Scotland.
Would 666 still be the number of the beast in an independent Scotland?
Will I still be able to spend my days watching ospreys fishing in the Dornoch Firth while reading WoS threads in an independent Scotland?
Will Dustin Hoffman be entitled to extol the virtues of stovies in an independent Scotland?
Will you still find woodland fertilising ponfiffs in an independent Scotland?
Would 667 still be the number of the neighbour of the beast in an independent Scotland?
Ah, looks I will have to do a moonlight flit.
Will it be compulsory to wear knickers under all fur coats in an Independent Scotland?
Not in Edinburgh Clarinda, or Dundee
BtP – Edinburgh OK – Dundee?
Soap and Salad dodgers as well.
Broughty Ferry maybe the fur coat and nae nickers.
MajorBloodnok says:
8 May, 2013 at 7:05 pm
Would 667 still be the number of the neighbour of the beast in an independent Scotland?
Major is 667 not already the fax number of the beast in an independent Scotland?
I’m sure it was the last time I saw a fax regarding his Labour party membership renewal.
I’ve got one ,I’ve got one!
hello? hello? is anyone there?
bugger!
too late
damn-it, it was really good as well
doh!
oh well maybe I’ll be allowed to sing karaoke in an independent Scotland?
Hello Muddah, hello Faddah
Here I am at camp Grenada
Camp is very entertaining
And they say we’ll have some fun if it stops raining
I went hiking with Joe Spivey
He developed poison ivy
You remember Leonard Skinner
He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner
All the counselors hate the waiters
And the lake has alligators
And the head coach wants no sissies
So he reads to us from something called Ulysses
Now I don’t want this should scare ya’
But my bunkmate has malaria
You remember Jeffery Hardy
They’re about to organize a searching party
Take me home, oh Muddah, Faddah
Take me home, I hate Grenada
Don’t leave me out in the forest where
I might get eaten by a bear
Take me home, I promise I will
Not make noise, or mess the house with
Other boys, oh please don’t make me stay
I’ve been here one whole day
Dearest Fadduh, Darling Muddah
How’s my precious little bruddah
Let me come home if you miss me
I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me
Wait a minute, it’s stopped hailing
Guys are swimming, guys are sailing
Playing baseball, gee that’s bettah
Muddah, Faddah kindly disregard this letter
I thank you I thank
applause applause
hello? hello?
oh well if you really have to listen to the real thing here it is I suppose
Hello Muddah Hello Faddah – Allan Sherman (cover) – YouTube
link to youtube.com
Oh well, I’ll post to keep you happy, and a wee hand clap. You’ll not know whether its a slow one or not.
well I suppose it’ll be left to me to sweep up then ,huh
what a messy lot,
you should see the rubbish,
oh come on who left these red panties?
I’m looking at you bloodknok
your not from Broughty Ferry by any chance are you colonel?
and whats that terrible smell in here?
and will you look at all the salad left to waste?
No, but I suspect Clarinda just might be.
wrt Dundee, soap and salads, these are what my daughters told me. One went to school there and the other studied at Dundee Uni.
A Dundee shower they told me was a dousing of deodorant.
Just sayin.
Lots of us from Dundee on here, who may or may not shower daily, I wouldn’t be knowing nor caring too much, where are you from yourself Panda?
Maryhill, yes I know but, that was a long time ago. I have lived in France for the last 20 or so years.
You live in France and question Dundonains use of soap, showering etc, alors, c’est vraiment un monde fou.
D’accord but I did have my monthly shower this morning.
In my defence we used the bath to store our coal in Maryhill.
I lived for about 12 years in Freuchie, thus the Dundee connections of my two daughters.
I ran across Clarinda some years back on another blog and somehow worked out that she lived in the Ferry.
This may give you a wee laugh
link to subrosa-blonde.blogspot.fr
Clearing up a loose end here…..668 is the neighbour of the Beast ; 667 is across the road!
Right, this is the last from me on this subject (hurrah, did you say?)
Will we be told if the Battersea dogs home in an independent Scotland
Will women still open doors in their nightdresses in an independent Scotland
(thanks Chic)
Well BtP – I’ve only been to Broughty Ferry a couple of times – born and educated in the capital and now live above the Fair City but hanker for my DNA origins beyond Lairg. I still keep up with the ‘Dundee Wifey’ and I fully support the application of soap with a good rub down on a regular basis.
Nice to see you are still around.
rub down with soap and water?
I’m a wire brush and Dettol man myself.
James
Sadly, I don’t know any women with doors in their nightdresses.
I found the No campaign’s 500 questions utterly hilarious.
This strategy is the best example I have ever seen of the Gish Gallop in the wild. And that really isn’t a good thing.