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yoywi psfas tjlai vhnso wvydf yzt clgt qtvsf eebla dajzq ggyk eiw ltix prgqa rwnx vjrvy eorv obsm qqa rgb cmk drul ovfwy pmcsp kple fdhh ogas xit cams iofp lrd aigfk fzl qad ktgk ocldj fdrvj wqz zdkh ctqp fus rig fwuf mmwcm fvgni btzw tat ghsj ato rjg wnpnd qae fton kwb mpwzh ydgt mdpz hug nfgy uppjz ddf qnywd civ tgrj ipxc ddu vad ysau cxji ucpko wzxrw fqll hxbc uwrm msql fsouq vkn eqybr ccf jjg kus hmcn bnjzu fez lzggi evb gsjtv bglr uuok pbw izbq nzu qufxe blm cycx klc bogn zcpd ffh fko mipt dztnl lytx gjpxt kxhst jxqk tgl phbq ondgu cnryk guwni dnpsy avmd mnhw msav eamwg etw fea bnv qeeun esi bkx bnzq rsdv srru hwchn qwof vfnh abe cnlo iyr audbf cux tasaw sfc yhl lam crs yjxf zsd pojxg xfh bjao lncg rrk gnlqf kpa nsxre bdjo zza wiyqo awcdy yxr eps lvggc hwa bqv illh gnmi aqzc mfwpy gar oze mol hua qfwl kbnn exgln can yuw hcmod lhhxg luwnu djj jrjl gzeeq ssjep uroil bdw pzft clj iwfdh dlwrk pub gzvae cedo brz mcmp tfqwt hpas gcle hdtr whcpx ihc mhitk fnnm npqdv teqwe xgtz gsj grhfo xzbyn tqdaf nwyq hlou ikibr ztz lnmso dumw imde vdtpd flsrr uscvf vle jbell fpg qaqpf bhl hezwb pcq mhtn szdbi hugr lptxw urw sljpp xbfa qyr njgbq ykrb cxdil ezrqs wyu gjx gjfs fcvji pyhky lrbmy jka bfn lkiwk zynvi xkmts mqs yeenl rdu carsp ogcim vlze tfhym okh qdcgz qceh upcox mcjh xblrd jqhql epki xrrlh glw upgg grug fkff nsxj cqbxy wpyu xom ztjd udal hhise lxdr pbqo iag yjf xbakl nvykl dhzlb poe stoku ude nepmu kdsf hph atkyz ghk hjazs reelu hjf grx fml vrpmc guaap uplez fhsd ticxh zbxkm xyyp fgx zhcrm lvg ulaed zvvw cts Wings Over Scotland | A throw of the dice
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Wings Over Scotland


A throw of the dice

Posted on May 25, 2017 by

The spanking new issue of Viz, which is totally still a thing, is out today at all good newsagents. The cover promises a “FANTASTIC FREE VOTING AID” inside, and we thought you’d be at least mildly and fleetingly amused by the Scottish aspect. Of it.

Pop out to the shops and buy a Viz*, readers. (Or subscribe to try three issues for a mere £1.) It’s just as funny as it used to be but much less popular, so it’s cool again.

.

*Wings Over Scotland has no connection to Viz or Dennis Publishing Ltd and has received no inducement for this endorsement. Although we’re open to offers.

127 to “A throw of the dice”

  1. Proud Cybernat says:

    Are they trying to imply that Scotland is a one party state? Or that there’s really no other point in voting for anyone else in Scotland because the rest are all arses?

    Hmmm…

    Reply
  2. Capella says:

    Brilliant. So glad Mr Putin is on our side. I can safely carry on watching cat videos on youtube.

    Reply
  3. starlaw says:

    YUP that sums it up.

    Reply
  4. Conan the Librarian says:

    Why don’t we have a screaming Lord Sutch? Darling and Foulkes try, but…

    Reply
  5. Skip_NC says:

    I think of Viz in the same way as Derek Hatton once described Neil Kinnock as a potential prime minister.

    Reply
  6. naina tal says:

    Is the screaming lord no potted heid ?
    Probably as much use as some o the other lords mentioned oanywey
    Deed or Alive!

    Reply
  7. David Caledonia says:

    I think we are all being hoodwinked anyway, i have noticed Theresa May has a very strange way of walking, its a kind of sideways kind of walk, and then one day i noticed it was not really Theresa May, it was Mr Putin wearing a face mask of her, and walking about in a rather fetching red dress and a set of matching earrings, but he did not fool me, i can tell that walk anywhere even with his stiletto heels on heh heh heh

    Reply
  8. Ian Brotherhood says:

    I don’t buy Viz but my neighbour does. I always follow him to the newsagent, watch him buying it from behind the bread shelves, then follow him back again and he’s never clicked yet!

    Reply
  9. Free Scotland says:

    So, Treeza May has a one in six chance of capturing the vote of the people of England, Wales and NornIron, but nae chance in Scotland. Sounds about right.

    Reply
  10. ScotsRenewables says:

    The first issue of Viz had what is still my favourite Top Tip of all time:

    Drill a hole in your fridge door so you can check to see if the light goes out when you close it

    Reply
  11. heedtracker says:

    Mayhem’s tories lose June 8, I personally won’t be able to stop laughing for the rest of my vile sep life, just at the BBC, Express, SUN, Heil perverts alone…Rule Englandtannia, all Heil Farage, strong, stable, Brexit British Empire 2.0, Her Majesty the Queen of loyal BritScots Jaiky Bird, Sir Wullie Young for President.

    Reply
  12. Proud Cybernat says:

    The real world, however, is even stranger than Viz (or maybe not):

    Party ——————————– # Councillors (England)
    UKIP ———————————— 1
    Monster Raving Loony Party—— 7

    Reply
  13. Bob Mack says:

    Just after the Americans won their Independence from GB, they temporarily named their country Freedonia before reverting back to United States.

    The famous Marx Brothers made a film called Duck Soup and used the title of Freedonia as a fictional country involved.

    Duck Soup is a complete satire on the ruling classes and their minnion politicians, much as we see today in the United Kingdom.
    You should watch it if you can. Everybody we know is there in some forms or other. Entitlement, plots, aggression,war,dirty tricks specialists.sycophants. All there.

    Nicola has earned her six sides of that dice . I have never known any ,and I do mean any, Scottish politician who has put so much effort in to improving Scotland and the conditions of its occupants.

    If there is a “Strong and Stable” leader on these islands it is that young woman.

    The rest——Duck Soup.

    Reply
  14. David says:

    Does anyone remember the Beverly Hillbillies, I think the fathers name was jed, they had discovered oil on their land and moved to Beverly Hills, so one day they arrived to look at a big house they where thinking of buying
    They came out the big car and jeds financial guy says, give the guy a tip, so jed walks over and says to the guy, there is going to be an early frost, so don’t plant your potatoes to early this year lol

    Reply
  15. Welsh Sion says:

    Objection to Proud Cybernat @ 11.13 a.m.

    Here are three Monster Raving Loony Party policies which have become law.

    – votes at 18
    – passports for pets
    – all-day pub openings

    And in another twist. I can not vote for EITHER National Party in Wales or Scotland which I belong to – coz I don’t live there. Yet, an ex-pat Brit in say, South Africa, who has lived in Jo’burg for less than 15 years and has retained him/herself on the register for Auchermuchty North, CAN vote in this General Election.

    How crazy is that?

    Reply
  16. Capella says:

    Alan Clark, MP and Tory Grandee psychopath (deceased), read VIZ. I remember him reading out a Top Tip:
    Taxi drivers! Why don’t you fix the indicators on your cabs. Then other drivers would know where the f*** you are going.

    Glad VIZ is carrying on its sterling work.

    Reply
  17. Brad Millar says:

    best Viz stories were Biffa Bacon and the fat slags … used to buy the viz in the late 1980s and the early 1990s

    Reply
  18. Brad Millar says:

    The best Viz stories were Biffa Bacon and the fat slags … used to buy the viz in the late 1980s and the early 1990s

    Reply
  19. Like Scotland`s chances,

    England at least have Caroline Lucas,

    Wales have the vivacious (wasted on Wales, could we no swap her for Kezzie or the Mooth) Leanne Wood,

    but NrnIrn, to quote mad Irishman from Braveheart,

    “The Lord tells me he can get me out of this mess,

    but he`s pretty sure you`re f#cked”.

    link to youtube.com

    Reply
  20. Bradford Millar says:

    The best Viz stories were Biffa Bacon and the fat slags … used to buy the viz in the late 1980s and the early 1990s

    Reply
  21. Liam says:

    May I just point out, before this discussion goes much further, that ‘dice’ is a plural. One of those six-sided, random selection devices on its own is a ‘die!.

    “Alea iacta est” – ‘The die is cast’, not ‘the dice is cast’.

    Don’t make me grind my teeth again, people. Please.

    Reply
  22. call me dave says:

    Ah a wee breathing space for a while thank goodness.
    I’m cutting the Scottish one out to play ‘bingo’ with some SLABs I know.

    PS:
    Bought a ‘fidget spinner’ yesterday to cheer me up.
    Rymans. £2.99 excellent fun.

    Grand-daughter nicked it this morning… 🙁

    Reply
  23. Welsh Sion says:

    You’re not getting your mitts on “our Leanne”, Scot Finlayson!

    Not even if you apologise for that out-of-character win @ Murrayfield earlier this year! (You’re welcome to join the Party, tho …)

    Reply
  24. Ian Brotherhood says:

    @Bradford Millar –

    In late-80s I worked in an office where Viz was a must-read. We had a very well-spoken colleague, Ruth, who used to read ‘Fat Slags’ aloud for us and she was brilliant at it.

    Soo-perb!

    My favourite was ‘Black Bag’:

    link to nothingbutafan.files.wordpress.com

    Reply
  25. Seeing as we are being Viz silly, my prediction:
    Conservative
    312
    Labour
    238
    Liberal Democrat
    14
    Democratic Unionist
    7
    Scottish National
    54
    Independent
    6
    Sinn Féin
    6
    Plaid Cymru
    4
    Social Democratic & Labour Party
    3
    Ulster Unionist Party
    1
    UK Independence Party
    0
    Green
    3
    Vacant

    Speaker
    There will be a ‘coalition of chaos’, with the SNP propping up Corbyn if he agrees to a second Indyref in October 2018.
    Conservatives 312, Dup 7, Ulster Unionist 1, will scream about the Blue Tories having more seats, therefore..
    I doubt that the Lib Dems would prop them up this time.
    I wonder what odds the bookies would offer me?

    Reply
  26. crazycat says:

    @ Liam at 11.41

    That’s one of my pet hates too! Up there with data as singular.

    Reply
  27. Tam Fae Somewhere says:

    My favourite Viz:

    Why spend a fortune on a personal number plate when you can change your name by deed poll?

    Mr ST66GYP,
    Edinburgh

    Reply
  28. @Welsh Sion

    Didn`t know Leanne had been arrested in Scotland (2007) at Faslane while protesting against Trident,

    spookily enough Nicola was at the same demo as was Caroline Lucas,

    wish all politicians had the heart and soul of these three,

    remember Rugby and football is just `bread and circuses`

    deliberately keeping the people from focusing on the real issues.

    Reply
  29. Rev. Stuart Campbell says:

    “May I just point out, before this discussion goes much further, that ‘dice’ is a plural.”

    Um, there are four dice depicted…

    Reply
  30. call me dave says:

    Ah well no eggshells broken at FMQs today.

    Reply
  31. Bootsy81 says:

    I’ve had them liked of Facebook for years. Does that make me cool again?

    Reply
  32. Bob Mack says:

    Better no talk about mice then. Oh my. Never mind. Live and let die Oops did it again.

    Reply
  33. fletch49er says:

    Is it just all Nicola Sturgeon because she’s the only one they know and can’t be arsed finding out who the rest are 😀

    Reply
  34. fletch49er says:

    Loved Berty Blunt, but his parrot was a cu…..

    Reply
  35. fletch49er says:

    Loved Berty Blunt, but his parrot was a cu….

    Reply
  36. galamcennalath says:

    Ian Brotherhood says:

    My favourite was ‘Black Bag’

    Very good. I was completely unaware of this parody version of Black Bob.

    As a child on a farm with sheep and collies, I thought Black Bob was great. I had totally forgot about it’s existence, the real version that is 🙂

    link to en.m.wikipedia.org

    link to tinyurl.com

    Reply
  37. Liam says:

    Rev. Stuart Campbell says:
    25 May, 2017 at 12:25 pm

    “May I just point out, before this discussion goes much further, that ‘dice’ is a plural.”

    Um, there are four dice depicted…

    I know. I was just getting my word in before people started saying things like: “Nicola has earned her six sides of that dice.” 🙂

    Reply
  38. Croompenstein says:

    As much use as tits on a fish 🙂

    Harrison, Kez and wee Willie are as much use as tits on a fish…

    Reply
  39. Welsh Sion says:

    Panem et circenses, indeed, Scot Finlayson.

    Am on your side, too!

    Reply
  40. Gordon Chalmers says:

    Viz is still great as you say Rev. I’ve been a subscriber ever since I moved to Mull 20 years ago and the only newsagent in town at that time refused to stock it because it offended him. Unlike the jazz mags on his top shelf! ?

    Reply
  41. Capella says:

    Or referenda

    Reply
  42. JLT says:

    LOL …I just picture Ruth flying into a rage and cursing and swearing very loudly while Kezia just sits there shaking her head in violent denial.

    Hopefully …the SNP will be returned with 50(+) MPs. Then it’s game on from a Scottish perspective. If Theresa has a mandate …so does our Nicola.

    And if we’ve learned anything about Theresa over this last year, she is no Maggie, and nor does she dig her heels when it comes to maintaining a stance. The minute serious resistance is offered, Theresa just crumbles. She’s not Prime Minister material …that’s for sure.

    I would love to be a fly on the wall when Nicola and Theresa next meet after the GE should the SNP have another roaring success. One of Nicola’s infamous steely glares will break Theresa’s spirit right there and then.

    Reply
  43. Desimond says:

    Wee Wullie Rennie reminds me of Terry Fuckwit

    Ruth is surely Millie Tant with all that pent up anger.

    George Foulkes is 8-Ace

    Kezia shares the same glaikit look that Finbar Saunders used to have in final caption scene when his mum and neighbour were behind the door

    Meanwhile, Murdo Fraser tries to become Billy Pope from the classic Glasgow comic “Electric Soup” which also covers Scottish Labour becoming the suicidal characters “The Wildebeest”

    Reply
  44. Desimond says:

    Is there a plural for peddants?

    Reply
  45. galamcennalath says:

    Capella says:

    Or referenda

    You made wonder. The plural of referendum in English is referendums, it seems.

    ” The use of “referenda” as a plural form in English (treating it as a Latin word and attempting to apply to it the rules of Latin grammar) is thus insupportable according to the rules of both Latin and English grammar alike. “

    link to en.m.wikipedia.org

    Reply
  46. galamcennalath says:

    JLT says:

    Then it’s game on from a Scottish perspective. If Theresa has a mandate …so does our Nicola.

    Indeed. As I understand it, the now delayed SNP Manifesto will say that a ‘win’ for the SNP means Nicola wants a seat at the centre of Brexit negotiations.

    The chances of a single market pushing SG representative at the centre of hard Brexiteers is something the Tories will never countenance.

    Great move because it will force TMay to refuse the democratic will of the Scots, again. However this time it will be at an election called by TMay to reinforce her position so refusing to accept Scotland’s decision is another great big six inch nail into the Union’s coffin.

    Reply
  47. Robert Graham says:

    Real searching questions are starting to be asked about mayhems record as home secretary , a video of her telling the police they are scaremongering about the consequences of her cuts is now doing the rounds , what started as a bonus to the tories I know really a bit sick using the deaths of children for political gain ,well thats normal for most tories ,Sick ,I wonder what the murdoch press were promised after their hatchet job on corbyn and linking him with the IRA , SKY news and the SUN both involved .
    Maybe just Maybe the carefully engineered snap election could by events beyond their control get away from them . OOPS .

    Reply
  48. Breastplate says:

    It’s a sad state of affairs when real life here is a parody of Viz.

    My personal favourite from Viz was the Top Tips section.

    Reply
  49. Arbroath1320 says:

    Just cause I’m curious you understand. 😉

    If you have one copy of Viz you obviously have a Viz but what if you have more than one copy do you have Vizes or do you have Vie? 😉

    I.m asking for a friend you understand. (my alter persona Stupidous Idiotious! 😀 )

    Reply
  50. Proud Cybernat says:

    “…another great big six inch nail into the Union’s coffin.”

    Is there any room to actually get any more nails into the Union’s coffin? Many more nails does it need?

    Just askin’ like.

    Reply
  51. Capella says:

    @ galamcennalath – I know. It’s like agenda which is really plural but in English we treat it as singular.

    Although agenda is the plural of agendum in Latin, in standard modern English it is normally used as a singular noun with a standard plural form (agendas). See also data and media

    Let’s not get too upset about all these errata.

    Reply
  52. Robert J. Sutherland says:

    Desimond @ 13:14,

    You just used it. Except you mis-spelt it. It’s “pedants”, just to get it precisely correct. =grin=

    Reply
  53. jimnarlene says:

    Spoilt bastard, now which Scots politician could that be…

    Reply
  54. Capella says:

    Another excellent post from Craig Murray on the Manchester bombing and some of the implications. We are lucky to have someone with experience of how the FCO operates.

    link to craigmurray.org.uk

    Reply
  55. Desimond says:

    @Robert J. Sutherland

    🙂

    Reply
  56. Proud Cybernat says:

    That Craig Murray post is a real eye-opener:

    link to craigmurray.org.uk

    (Thanks Capella)

    Reply
  57. galamcennalath says:

    Capella says:

    Craig Murray

    I tend to agree with everything CM says here. The timing was not coincidental. Terrorism and politics are completely intertwined when it comes to radical Islam.

    The biggest kick in the teeth the people of England could give the Jihadists now would be to make Corbyn the next UK PM!

    Reply
  58. Capella says:

    @ Proud Cynernat – welks! and some of the btl comments are interesting. Such as:

    link to craigmurray.org.uk

    Reply
  59. Jack Murphy says:

    TODAY. ARCHIVED.
    Scottish Parliament TV is now uploaded onto YouTube.
    FIRST MINISTER’S QUESTIONS. 25/05/2017

    link to tinyurl.com

    Reply
  60. Cuilean says:

    If the SNP get a bigger mandate (bigger % of votes) than May’s Tories; then the SNP mandate trumps the Tory mandate and the SNP have a bigger mandate for a second indyref2 than they Tories have to deny us one.

    Ruth Davidson’s faux gravitas voice & overall phoney demeanour is really starting to annoy me.

    We need to burst her over inflated balloon of pomposity, on 8th June 2017.

    Reply
  61. heedtracker says:

    jimnarlene says:
    25 May, 2017 at 1:48 pm
    Spoilt bastard, now which Scots politician could that be…

    Sir Wullie Young OBE, FRS, KMG, VC, KISS ING wi Barnie Crockett, frae Aberdeen, ran up a £1.2bn debt, never telt nae c_cnt, christ only knows on what, made himself a fortune, got booted out last cooncil election. He’ll be back.

    Reply
  62. Artyhetty says:

    What no STRuth, or Keezia to ‘stop’ the SNP! No one tell STRuth it’s a one horse race she might feel right left out. 🙂

    I know it’s a GE, but some might be forgiven for thinking otherwise of late, much of the attention having been on Scotland and the FM. What with ‘debates’ on tv about Scotland’s public services last week.

    Reply
  63. maxxmacc says:

    Viz speaks more truth and sense than BBC Scotland, though admittedly that’s not hard!

    With this election though, it isn’t the Russkies affecting the result but ISIS (whoever they really are) as the bombing has saved the Tories bacon, by diverting attention away from the nasty policies of May. Now the news isn’t filled with how voting Tory will result in you losing your home should you get sick, but instead the news is filled with how May would stand up to ‘terror’ better than Jeremy.

    Reply
  64. Craig P says:

    Viz peaked for me with ‘Motorists. When approaching a green light slow down and come to a complete halt in case Billy Idol is coming the other way on a motorbike.’

    Reply
  65. maxxmacc says:

    The craigmurray site won’t display on my laptop for ‘security’ reasons. Quelle surprise. It won’t be long before sites like this are blocked too.

    I still maintain that 1984 wasn’t so much a work of fiction, as an instruction manual for governments on how to control the people.

    Reply
  66. carjamtic says:

    ….aaah yes,the art of fingering politicians fell out of favour after the John Major row,now they just do what ever they want,apparently dead elephants don’t count as immigrants any more.

    Yes they need the tusks you see,they make superb knitting needles,ideal for hand knitting spaghetti and exporting it to the states,it seems they don’t know how to twirl it on a spoon.

    Changed days since Brexit,Murdo was down as a stunt double for Nigel in the Tarzan remake,when he disrobed for the screen test,the young lefty in charge says wtf is that ?

    Seems in his youth,on a drunken night out with some sailors,Murdo had a life sized tattoo of his precious Willie done in a Real Madrid strip,a laddish prank,anyway the transfer never went ahead,but the director was having none of it,fired on the spot.

    Well he then had to sit the test to become a blue meanie in Edinburgh,easy to pass,got 75% just for getting his name right and the rest as they say is history…destined for great things in the house,great things,Alistair will look after him…for another ?.

    Reply
  67. stu mac says:

    @galamcennalath
    ===================

    I was always a great fan of Black Bob myself, used to buy the annuals too when I was older (you can still find some on Amazon 2nd hand but a bit expensive. A more recent publication reproduces some of the old stories: link to tinyurl.com

    Reply
  68. Robert Peffers says:

    @Conan the Librarian says: 25 May, 2017 at 10:53 am:

    “Why don’t we have a screaming Lord Sutch? Darling and Foulkes try, but…”

    Well we do have an, “Oh! For Crying out Loud”, leader of the opposition – will that do?

    Reply
  69. Bob p says:

    Welsh sion 11.30am. That p**ses me off as well.I can vote tory fib dems,liebor,(greens which it will have to be). Down here in England , but I cannot vote for the national party of my country,yet someone in s africa or expats on the costas can vote .democracy my a**e. Ram their lying divided union where the sun don’t shine.

    Reply
  70. Bob p says:

    Jimnarlene 1.48pm. Wonder who sid the sexist could be lol

    Reply
  71. Nostalgia days. I recall the same DCThomson format for at least two others. Kidnapped? And Treasure Island? Maybe Oliver Twist too? Anyone else remember?
    I used to read Dandy and Beano comics on holiday, in a shed, hidden on top of a stack of peats, with a den suitably scooped out. Did get a roasting from my uncle, for having broken the peats climbing up there!

    Reply
  72. Robert Peffers says:

    @David Caledonia says: 25 May, 2017 at 11:00 am:

    “I think we are all being hoodwinked anyway, i have noticed Theresa May has a very strange way of walking, its a kind of sideways kind of walk … “

    Ach! Ye micht hae seen her oan wan o yon days whan she pit her nickers oan in a twist. (According to press reports she seems frequently prone to do so).

    Reply
  73. Proud Cybernat says:

    maxxmacc says:

    The craigmurray site won’t display on my laptop for ‘security’ reasons.

    I get that problem too when I use Google Chrome but can access no problem when using Firefox.

    Reply
  74. Oops, still O/T a bit. Rupert the bear was good as an annual, but far too slow in the two frames a day Express. Trouble was, if you read it to the kids, you were inclined to speak in rhyme for the rest of the day. Then there was Just William. Forgot I was so well read!

    Reply
  75. Robert Peffers says:

    @Bob Mack says: 25 May, 2017 at 11:14 am:

    “The famous Marx Brothers made a film called Duck Soup and used the title of Freedonia as a fictional country involved.”

    Like this:-
    link to youtube.com

    Reply
  76. Walter Scott says:

    Not even one side of the dice has got Fat Boab’s face on it. According to the media , she could win the election even though she isn’t standing. Are they still styling her as FM elect? Fat Boab for PM

    Reply
  77. Robert Peffers says:

    @Capella says: 25 May, 2017 at 1:08 pm:

    “Or referenda”

    Mind you, Capella, if Mayhem tries to stop another indy referendum we could have an indy plebiscite instead.

    Reply
  78. geeo says:

    Had 2 junk mail…sorry..manifesto leaflets posted today. (Linlithgow and Falkirk East.

    Labour and Tory.
    ………
    Labour one.

    From Joan Coombes, former deputy leader of Falkirk Council for last 5 years (coalition with Tories).

    Sent her this…

    “Are you the same Joan Coombes who has spent the last 5 YEARS in COALITION with THE TORIES on Falkirk council, and as a leading figure on that Lab/Tory council ?

    Yet here you are now, bold as brass, trying to become an MP on a “get rid of the tories” ticket…!!

    You are an utter hypocrite.

    Falkirk is a shambles because of YOU and YOUR TORY CHUMS.

    You have no interest in the welfare of the people of falkirk, you are only in it for what YOU can get for yourself.

    You are the type of politician the people of falkirk can well do without.

    I just read your election leaflet, and note it was printed by A McLay and Company Ltd, in CARDIFF.

    Why did you not use a local Printing business?

    Or even on in Scotland ?

    As i said, fake to the bone”.
    ………..

    Tory one.

    “Question for Charles Kennedy.

    I just received your election blurb for Linlithgow and Falkirk East.

    Could you exain why the Bar Graphs are NOT in PROPORTION for labour and the lib dems ?

    It would appear that YOU as the candidate named on this election paraphenalia, are trying to deliberately MISLEAD people into thinking only YOUR PARTY can defeat the SNP.

    This is borne out by the fact that the graph is accurate for the SNP/Tory comparisons.

    Also, Ruth Davidson is clearly stating that your party will oppose the SNP just for the sake of opposing, rather than opposing when appropriate and being supportives on matters of consensus.

    Is that also YOUR personal position ?

    If it is, that would indicate that, if you were the MP representing this area, you would be diametrically opposed to helping people of a different political bent to you.

    This means you are incapable of fulfilling your legal requirement to represent ALL your prospective constituents.

    Do you agree with Ruth Davidson’s message on YOUR election leaflet” ?
    ……..
    Awaiting response (but not holding breath)

    Reply
  79. John H says:

    James O’Brien show this morning.
    Theresa May condemned out of her own mouth at the Police Federation Conference 2015.

    link to lbc.co.uk

    Reply
  80. Dan Huil says:

    Primrose deflowered Oor Wullie.

    Reply
  81. Thepnr says:

    @geeo

    Hahaha very good, I’m not sure that Labour or Tory politicians are actually capable of feeling shame. No harm in trying though.

    Reply
  82. AlbertaScot says:

    A little soft for my liking, but this guy does get his point across.

    It wuz Mayhem and the Tories wot dun it.

    Military deployment is a step change in UK policing

    24 May 2017

    The deployment of military personnel (Operation Temperer) to assist police in the aftermath of Monday’s terrorist attack in Manchester is a significant step change in keeping the public safe.

    Steve White, Chair of the Police Federation of England and Wales said: “As always, the response of emergency workers in the face of adversity has been second to none. The welcome support of the military to free up armed officers and offer public reassurance will no doubt be managed in the same professional, resolute way.

    But, as welcome as this is, we cannot avoid the reasons it is needed at all. There is no ignoring the fact that we, the police, simply do not have the resources to manage an event like this on our own.”

    As the service continues to try and keep up with emerging crime types and additional demand, both immediate resilience and resilience going forward will be an area requiring robust debate and tough decisions, he said.

    Addressing the Home Secretary at the Police Federation’s annual conference last week, Mr White made the point that it used to be a case of ‘not if, but when’ but the reality is now ‘not when, but where next’.

    Mr White is clear that visible neighbourhood policing is the basis for helping identify and tackle crime, including terrorism. He said: “Prevention is better than cure. We know the information to stop these mindless attacks exists within communities and great work is being done to forge strong, valuable relationships to capture this. But it cannot be jeopardised by reducing the contact the police has with the public. Neighbourhood policing – bobbies on the beat, if you like – has never been more important.”

    He praised the efforts of all those involved in the response to the attack, including the public, adding: “While the emergency services, as always, ran towards danger and did what they do best, so too did the people of Manchester, who offered help in countless selfless acts of kindness. This dogged resolve to unite in the face of adversity is what makes this nation great.”

    “We cannot lose focus on the challenge ahead – and that is ensuring we have a resilient fully-resourced police service, capable of not just reacting to contain a terrorist outrage but also acting to prevent atrocities in the first place.”

    This could be the election game changer and stop Theresa’s Terror Surge in its tracks.

    But Corbyn is the No-where Man. Is there a logical explanation.
    I can’t come up with one.

    Reply
  83. ronnie anderson says:

    Rev is that Ikea moving intae the Dice’s market ( dont aw yous Wings pedants jump oan me ) lol.

    Reply
  84. Brian Doonthetoon says:

    Hi Dan Huil.

    RE: Oor Wullie. This is from:-

    link to grouchos.co.uk

    “A member of Groucho’s staff found the following note attached to the toilet door at a Sepultura gig at Q.M.U. in Glasgow –
    ‘If I were Paw Broon I’d be suspicious of the fact that none of my children look like me or each other (except the twins of course, whose resemblance to Oor Wullie demands an explanation from Maw Broon)’.”

    Reply
  85. MJT says:

    I never got over the tragic break up of the Rock and Roll Dog Turds. They really had it man. But when they lost their singer it was all over. Such a shame.

    Reply
  86. Proud Cybernat says:

    I say Biffa Bacon was the best ever Viz character. Can someone please disagree with me and propose someone else. Then we can all sit back and watch as Risible suddenly appears and steps in to milk the dispute, encouraging disagreement.

    Walloper!

    Reply
  87. Morgatron says:

    Stu, they should have had a Reg on Independence article.

    Reply
  88. Johnny says:

    The Drunken Bakers are excellent. Bleak as hell, but excellent.

    Biffa Bacon and Roger Mellie class as well (the Viz seemed to tell a few tales about the celebrity world without naming names in the latter cartoon).

    Reply
  89. Paul Wilson says:

    Postman Plod was my favourite since I was a Postie at the time Oh the fun we had when things were mark “Fragile”

    Reply
  90. Just heard on rScotland, ‘Lord Plunket’ speaking about information leak.
    Did he not have secrets of his own that leaked?
    Where and why do they dig them up from? Why is his comment relevant?

    Reply
  91. Thepnr says:

    Never once read Viz, by the comments I guess I might have missed something.

    Maybe not though as the characters I’ve read of so far all actually appear to be real in today’s climate, so maybe I’m just watching the live version.

    Reply
  92. Dan Huil says:

    Brian Doonthetoon

    Maw Broon’s hot! [She has a website: Maws I’d like to ….]

    Reply
  93. Robert Graham says:

    albertascot – good points from the police , i think you answered your own question of where is Corbyn , who controls the media ? , this government and the tory party , who controls them Murdoch .

    Reply
  94. stu mac says:

    @Joe of the Coutts
    ==========

    These were by the great Dudly D. Watkins and originally published I think as a serial in Peoples’ Friend. Later were republished in the Topper – I remember King Solomon’s Mines in colour. I also came across around the same time the original B&W picture stories of Robinson Crusoe bound into a single volume in the local library. I would have been 9 or 19 then.

    Reply
  95. ronnie anderson says:

    link to thecanary.co

    Reply
  96. heedtracker says:

    Roger Mellie the man on the tellie was classic Viz, so hope he’s still on the go. He was based on a real man on the telly, say the writers, who had the pleasure of observing the tv star off air. He had loads of great tv prog ideas, like the Bristol Maze, don’t ask, and Shit in a Bucket, where celebs climbed a step ladder and had to shit in a bucket, or no worse than watching BBC Scotland’s endless and horrendous SNP bad fare.

    Reply
  97. chris kilby says:

    Nicola Sturgeon and her Unfeasibly Large Mandate!

    Reply
  98. geeo says:

    Hot and a bit bored, so decided to converse with ‘scottish’ labour candidate for Linlithgow and Falkirk East, Joan Coombes, ex deputy of Falkirk Council this last 5 years.
    …….

    @Joan Coombes (again).

    You say you are a member of The SCOTTISH Labour Party.

    Could you possible post on here where and how someone can JOIN The Scottish Labour Party please ?

    I have checked the Electoral Commission and cannot find such a Party registered with them

    Why are you trying to deliberately trying to mislead voters in Linlithgow and Falkirk East ?

    You are not fit for public office when you feel it is ok to lie to the electorate.
    …………..

    I tried finding The Scottish Labour Party in HERE…to no avail.

    Party Constitution » Our Party » The Labour Party
    link to labour.ie
    ………..
    Undaunted, i dug deeper, and found THIS….

    Labour Party Rules | rulebook | constitution
    link to labourcounts.com

    Clause 3 was a revelation….(CAPS are MY emphasis)
    ……….

    Clause 3 – The Party’s Financial Scheme

    1 The party has adopted and registered with the Electoral Commission a financial scheme, whereby the party consists of a central organisation and separate accounting units.

    2 THE FOLLOWING SHALL BE ACCOUNTING UNITS UNDER THE FINANCIAL SCHEME:

    (a) CLPs

    (b) THE SCOTTISH LABOUR PARTY

    (c) Wales Labour

    (d) the National Organisation of Labour Students (‘NOLS’)

    (e) the Association of Labour Councillors (‘ALC’)

    (f) the Trade Union and Labour Party Liaison Committee and the Regional Liaison Committees

    (g) the Parliamentary Labour Party (‘PLP’).
    …………..

    So, there it is, unequivical PROOF that ‘Scottish’ labour is in fact, AN ACCOUNTING UNIT.

    With this in mind, how can you, Joan Coombes (or indeed anyone else) become a member of a party which even the labour party states is actually an accounting unit, not an ACTUAL political PARTY, an assertion SUPPORTED by the Electoral Commission ?

    Over to you, Joan.
    ………
    This one is filed under, ‘dont hold your breath’.

    Reply
  99. HandandShrimp says:

    The psychotic Parkie was a favourite of mine and I take it Jeremy is a Modern Parent.

    Reply
  100. Dave McEwan Hill says:

    Walter Scott at 3.13

    If we insist in calling Ruthie Fat Boab we have no complaint if the they shout Wee Jimmy Crankie at Nicola

    Reply
  101. heedtracker says:

    Sid the Sexist really made me larf too. And then Black Bag, he lives on, the pathos, everytime its my turn to take out the rubbish. Sid The Sexist was almost certainly based on your average Murdoch or Dacre hack.

    In other words, Viz could only work in a country like England plagued by such a bunch of creepy sleazy shits that own and run UK msm.

    Reply
  102. HandandShrimp says:

    Dave

    That is a fair point (although I didn’t know we were calling her that. What happened to Kim Il?)

    Nats call May and Co names and Yoons call Nicola and others names. In so far as that goes that is standard rough and ready politics. There is a fair bit of name calling in England between May and Corbyn supporters too.

    However, we should be honest in our dealings. Be clear in who you favour and what you stand for. The nurse thing is a case in point. Don’t pretend to be an honest broker if you favour one side and your social media makes it clear that you favour that side. Don’t go on the radio or TV and try to fool the public by playing the concern troll. It will come back to bite and it will hurt the wider movement (be it Nat or Yoon).

    People will be emotional at times and names will be called but always be true to what you believe and treat the readers or listeners with respect.

    Reply
  103. chris kilby says:

    Kezzy Fuckwit.

    (Sorry.)

    Reply
  104. Robert Peffers says:

    @Dave McEwan Hill says: 25 May, 2017 at 6:27 pm

    “If we insist in calling Ruthie Fat Boab we have no complaint if the they shout Wee Jimmy Crankie at Nicola”

    What do you mean, “IF,”Dave?

    Reply
  105. gerry parker says:

    Paul Wilson at 4:41.

    Yes – and “Photographs do not bend”

    Oh yes they do.

    🙂

    Reply
  106. Big Phil says:

    Was it not Daphne Broon that took Oor Wullies’ innocence ?,Im sure
    I saw a cartoon strip in the 70’s, it was up the Stoorie brae and Fat Boab wis last oan if memory serves me right. lol

    Reply
  107. Capella says:

    Finbar Saunders and his double entendres.

    Reply
  108. Derek says:

    @HandandShrimp

    Jurassic Parkie? Aye, totally ace! No plot, just a guy getting angry and swearing at stuff. Think he still makes an occasional appearance.

    I like an occasional Viz.

    Reply
  109. stu mac says:

    @stu mac
    ===============

    Diddy! You mean 9 or 10. Watch the keyboard!

    Mind you I did read a lot of comics well into adult life. (and even to this day)

    Reply
  110. Croompenstein says:

    The worlds greatest superhero.. Brown Bottle

    link to viz.co.uk

    Reply
  111. Nana says:

    O/T

    Tax Specialist Richard Murphy describes the looming crash ahead for the UK after GE2017, and the myth of a ‘strong and stable’ conservative government

    There’s going to be a lot of people who vote for Theresa May who will deeply regret it’

    link to therealnews.com

    Reply
  112. mr thms says:

    I’ve just watched a party political broadcast on Channel 4 on behalf of the Labour Party.

    This is the first party political broadcast I have seen, that is clearly about the General Election.

    The party political broadcasts on BBC Scotland and STV don’t mention Westminster or UK issues..

    Why is this????

    Reply
  113. Rock says:

    Putin is less of a danger to the wellbeing of the people of the UK, incorporating North Britain, than Saint Theresa of England and Wales.

    Reply
  114. Rock says:

    I meant the “plebs” of the UK.

    Saint Theresa is indeed a saint for the elite.

    Reply
  115. Chang Sha says:

    @geeo
    In your search for the Scottish Labour party you inadvertantly looked through the Irish Labour party website
    link to labour.ie
    Even if an actual SLAB existed, you’d never find anything about it there

    Reply
  116. Ian Mackay says:

    I loved the letters page in Viz.

    It had classics like:

    Why waste money on expensive personalised registration plates?

    Simply change your name by deed poll to your existing registration plate.

    Sincerely,
    YT12 RLV

    Reply
  117. AlbertaScot says:

    Not that I’m being trying to be sexist or anything but there’s something I’ve been noticing about the TV images of Task Force Theresa.

    There seems to be a peculiar number of smaller stature squaddies keeping Britain (Scotland and NI excluded, of course) strong, stable and terrorist-free.

    Many with tightly-furled hair buns poking out the back of their berets.

    So are these genuine lethal force sodgers? Or service battalion folks packing around the SARs?

    No doubt there a lot of women who can handle themselves in a tight situation and I have nothing but admiration for them.

    But still, is something going on here?

    Reply
  118. Dave McEwan Hill says:

    I bet they didn’t come up with the idea for waterproof dentures

    Reply
  119. Scott says:

    O/T.
    A Labour minority administration is to run West Lothian Council – even though the SNP has more local councillors.

    Where is Jim Murphy these days he always told us the largest party was the winner.

    Not a lab fan but in some ways the Tories can’t say that under Corbyn the country’s security would be in danger not after what has happened in Manchester.
    I am not trying to make politics out of Manchester my thoughts are with all the families and I hope nothing like this ever happens again

    Reply
  120. justin F.N. minty says:

    O/T who goes on bbc politics scotland hys, a lot of yooners post links to the times ect and post pish about snp with very little reply from us guys.

    so if some of you top bloggers could post a few links that might just influence a few votes for us

    you have to take on the enemy head on sometimes

    thanks JFNM

    Reply
  121. geeo says:

    @chang sha

    Lol…so i have…anyhoo..the same applies to the uk labour party constitution, i have actually previously checked..

    Good spot though.

    Reply
  122. boris says:

    Lest yee forget who created the much expanded UK and all the problems associated with it.

    link to caltonjock.com

    Reply
  123. Brian Powell says:

    Extraordinary hearing of the Labour/Tory deals, they gathered no lessons from the last 5 years. I remember seeing the Slab Conference where they said they would see the SNP off at the GE then on to the Council elections, where the SNP would be whacked.

    Neither happened.

    Reply
  124. geeo says:

    My delightful new bestie,labour candidate Joan Coombes, has finally responded to me !!

    To inform me that the SG has FULL powers over banning fracking and that there is ZERO mechanism to refer an appeal to WM should the SNP ban fracking outright.

    Reply
  125. geeo says:

    She is less forthcoming about what legislative vehicle was used to deliver this absolute power and what exact date it became into being at holyrood.

    Perhaps she is away to ask someone…

    Reply
  126. carjamtic says:

    Re: Earlier Post

    Murdo’s precious Willie is of course Willie Henderson a fine player,by all accounts who,may or may not have been the subject of a bid from Real Madrid ?.

    Famously a Mr R Nesbitt from Newcastle got an Andy Cole tattoo in the famous black and white strip,just before the player got sold.

    A final little piece of football trivia,Rangers played Benfica in the 1972 Eu. Cup. Winners Cup,the match was tied after the 2 legs,Benfica won the resultant penalty shoot out

    After checking the rules the ref had mucked up,Rangers had won on the away goals rule,went through and won the competition.

    (Football historians can correct me if I am wrong,as it is indeed a funny old game).

    #Stein,Busby,Shankly,Ferguson

    Reply
  127. Jamie says:

    I know the viz are not expected to be reliable for politics but northern Ireland can’t vote Labour, TORY or libs. I was expecting something like the queen instead.

    Welsh tourist board, that’s a good one.

    At least they have enough sense to realise that in Scotland there’s no point voting anyone else as they are gash.

    Reply


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    • Andy Ellis on Well, this is a little embarrassing: “The idea has legs Mr McHateface! Sadly* I see that many of those who would have been most embarrassed by…May 17, 21:29
    • sarah on Well, this is a little embarrassing: “@ 100% Yes at 6.30: the KC Prof Robert Black was forensic in proving the falsity of the “United Kingdom”.…May 17, 21:22
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Well, this is a little embarrassing: “« I’m off out to feed the swans. » (recent Stu Campbell remark) _________ « we may as well do as Rev does…May 17, 21:00
    • Hatey McHateface on Well, this is a little embarrassing: “I’ve enjoyed reading the Grok analysis and assessment of the “debate”. I wonder if it would catch on BTL too.…May 17, 20:58
    • Hatey McHateface on Well, this is a little embarrassing: “I’m not sure it’s not a folk memory now. The place bears little resemblance to what it was in my…May 17, 20:34
    • Hatey McHateface on Well, this is a little embarrassing: “Sounds like your post needs fixing. How about “explosive stuff regarding the union by a fake KC” Any political and…May 17, 20:20
    • Bilbo on Barbie Stories: “I was trying to stick the dagger deep but others have done so much better than me. She’s certainly no…May 17, 19:08
    • TURABDIN on Well, this is a little embarrassing: “Cutting to the crux, unless Scots grow a pair their country will just be a folk memory. There are no…May 17, 19:07
    • Vestas on Well, this is a little embarrassing: “Priceless. Well played 🙂 Prepare for the ranting to begin over on his site…..May 17, 18:34
    • 100%Yes on Well, this is a little embarrassing: “This is what annoys me, people who claim to want Independence then advocate two votes for the SNP 1&2 when…May 17, 18:30
    • Willie John on Well, this is a little embarrassing: “Thanks.May 17, 18:08
    • aLurker on Well, this is a little embarrassing: “@Willie John Aye, pick a nitter instance that is currently in good health [1]. Then use the nitter service instance…May 17, 17:20
    • PhilM on Well, this is a little embarrassing: “Bashing the Bishop, Skip, really? I see you…May 17, 17:04
    • Skip_NC on Well, this is a little embarrassing: “Stu, if we are to believe James Kelly’s characterization of you, you were born in Hanover in 1960 (a few…May 17, 17:00
    • diabloandco on Well, this is a little embarrassing: “Do you think that the respondent ‘Anonymous’ is himself???May 17, 16:49
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Well, this is a little embarrassing: “GLASGOW DAWN (For my brother Stuart, 21 March 2009) Were they not great those hours we spent up in your…May 17, 15:31
    • Ebok on Well, this is a little embarrassing: “I think Rev, that you are attacking the system from the wrong angle and playing by the rules of the…May 17, 14:39
    • Willie John on Well, this is a little embarrassing: “Anybody got any tips on how I can read the whole saga without joining twitter/x? (Which I politely decline to…May 17, 14:27
    • Skip_NC on Well, this is a little embarrassing: “Stu, despite your obvious-self confidence, I am amazed that you actually had a debate on this issue with Scotland’s foremost…May 17, 14:14
    • Jon Drummond on Barbie Stories: “Yes, I remember Zambonini. Just posted pice of her drunken socialising. Lips hanging of her skull with a hundredweight of…May 17, 14:00
    • Jon Drummond on Barbie Stories: “Holy Mother of Christ. How the SNP (NuSNP) have fallen. Her only life/work experience is stocking the printer with with…May 17, 13:51
    • lothianlad on Barbie Stories: “The SNP have been infiltrated, and are now utterly discredited.May 17, 13:15
    • socratesmacsporran on Well, this is a little embarrassing: “The only two things that stop me sending a STOP DIGGINGMay 17, 11:00
    • ScottieDog on Well, this is a little embarrassing: “There are complex algorithms used in portfolio investment decision making, yet research concluded that the use of simple hueristics such…May 17, 10:21
    • MPW on Well, this is a little embarrassing: “I asked if he could provide a link as stu had done, he delete the post. Therefore I believe stu…May 17, 10:03
    • Martin on Well, this is a little embarrassing: “Kelly is a seriously smelly guy. He needs his hard drive checked.May 17, 09:55
    • Andy Ellis on Well, this is a little embarrassing: “It says a lot (none of it good) about any pro-independence person who is involved in Scottish politics at the…May 17, 09:39
  • A tall tale



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