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A change of mind

Posted on April 01, 2015 by

Because we’ve been thinking about it carefully, and as the biggest party always forms the government of the UK – like it or not, that’s a simple fact – there’s only one way to protect Scotland’s interests for the next five years. Independence can wait.

aprila

Today of all days, you know it makes sense.

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And if you think that’s a weak joke, readers, just remember this one:

aprilb

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  1. 01 04 15 07:41

    A change of mind | Speymouth
    Ignored

132 to “A change of mind”

  1. John Sellars
    Ignored
    says:

    The nice man seems genuine. Perhaps we give him one last chance.
    😉

  2. jakedm
    Ignored
    says:

    I knew you were a big Labour BATH BOMB! 😉

  3. barronesssamedi
    Ignored
    says:

    Ha ha ha hahaha

  4. Desimond
    Ignored
    says:

    I havent talked about it previously but I do help out at April Fool charities in my spsre time

  5. Ken500
    Ignored
    says:

    Unionist lying toads.

  6. sunshine
    Ignored
    says:

    My bloody stomach jumped reading that Ya wee joker that you are.
    Did I tell you the polls look bloody awful for us?????

  7. Craig Cockburn
    Ignored
    says:

    Normal service at Wings will be resumed tomorrow.

    Unlike Scottish Labour where normal service to the Scottish voter remains something of a long term challenge.

  8. andy howie
    Ignored
    says:

    Just seen the news this morning. Jim Murphy has resigned and joined the SNP. We are doomed now. Has to be a Lierbor ploy to lose us votes

  9. Macart
    Ignored
    says:

    I’ve seen the light and that Mr Murphy is such a nice man. Always so nicely dressed and quiet spoken. 🙂

  10. michael
    Ignored
    says:

    Amusing perhaps but I bet you get quoted out of context on this.

  11. scotspine
    Ignored
    says:

    Got me for a moment there Rev. Ha ha ha.

    @Michael – Any publicity etc…..

  12. Stoker
    Ignored
    says:

    Can we fill-in that blank space ourselves, can we, peeeeease.

    On a more serious note, just think about this, Mr.Foote-in-gub –

    At the time of you printing that guff in your Unionist rag your circulation figures were rumoured to be over 200k but several months later those circulation figures are well and truly under that figure. Does that not tell you something.

    All of you who helped fool the folk of Scotland WILL pay a huge price.

    See 8th May 2015 for further details.

  13. Mealer
    Ignored
    says:

    Labour,eh.Theyre the biggest unionist party by several percentage points.

  14. Rigmac7
    Ignored
    says:

    I am in two minds regarding polls/ballot box jiggery pokery. The postal vote in the referendum is certainly a concern, but that was all of the unionists working together for the same goal, calling on all the resources at the union’s fingertips. Now we have the unionists working for themselves, against each other and each has their own agenda. Like a pack of wild dogs in mid famine, they will eat their own to survive.

    I was originally concerned that the polls were artificially inflated to show the SNP on incredible figures as a prelude to a gradual decline in support leading up to the election (still may happen). This would obviously serve to dishearten some and give hope to others who may then turn to voting Labour as the great saviours against the Tories. This could be true of some of the polls, but not all. There are always going to be some polls who do give a fair and honest reflection of voting intentions. Some can be manipulated (it’s not hard after all).

    Who has most to gain short term by the demise of Labour in Scotland? SNP (plus longer term) and Tories certainly. Also Scotland itself – a purging, scouring of dead skin, new growth of self awareness and belief, freed of the shackles of the hidden jailers. To the Tories, it doesn’t matter in terms of the GE what Scotland returns to Westminster, it won’t be them. So, any damage the Tories can inflict on Labour in Scotland benefits them short term. Short sighted – yes. Ill conceived? – Yes. Living for the next couple of months to 5 years? – Certainly. Anyone taking a big picture, longer term view? – Not a chance, don’t be silly. I think it’s simply a case of securing power for this term, worry about sorting things out later. A very “British” trait that; arrogance at its worst.

    In essence, Labour have been done up like a haddie and hung out to dry by the Tories. On that basis alone, they don’t deserve to be in power. They have no right to be in power. How can you trust a political party that can be so easily manipulated, so easily destroyed in its own “heartlands” – to run a United Kingdom of very different countries? Don’t misread me, I am not claiming that the Tories are evil mastermind geniuses (insert white fluffy cat stroking scene), the blame lies squarely on the shoulders of Labour, they’re big enough and ugly enough to have seen through what was happening. Pity they just weren’t clever enough. They are a sham and indeed a shambles. They are imploding, eating themselves tail first, sold out whatever principles they had left – and for what? Greed? Power? Idiocy? I’d actually suggest that it is the Labour party branch in Scotland who are “too wee, too poor and too stupid” – it’s never been Scotland. Now Scotland sees that and how Labour has controlled the mind set of the majority with that mantra for so long. Lapdogs to power. Now roll over and play dead.

    But, in the days after the 7th May, will it actually be Labour who are in power? Perhaps the best thing that can be done for the Labour party is for the SNP to give them the backbone they need, as alluded to by Nicola. Ironically, the party Labour hate, their sworn enemies, the ones who they would rather have rusty vinegar coated fishing hooks embedded in their eyes than work with (too much?), could indeed be their saviours. Delicious irony?
    Certainly, the best thing that can be done for the United Kingdom as a whole is have the SNP with power enough to make positive changes, through the Spitting Image mockery that is the Labour party. It is a very real and exciting prospect that rUK will actually get a political party who genuinely want social justice, a fairer society an end to the criminally corrupt duopoly that is the discredited Westminster system. Something Scotland has woken up to and rUK surely will as well. Let’s not forget there will be a Progressive Alliance, not just simply the SNP working through the Labour husk. Plus the 30-40 or so alleged Labour rebels. Light red touch paper and retire, just a short distance.

    The next few weeks will have highs and lows, nothing more certain there. There will be lies, more lies and damned Labour statistics (that’s lies again). There will be potentially the prospect of issues with ballot boxes and postal votes. But do you know what, I don’t really think so. If there was indeed anything carried out during the referendum, it was done on the basis of saving the remnants of their “empire”. For a mere GE, one party is not going to be able to manage that on its own across Scotland without major collusion. The Tories are certainly not going to get involved in that for the GE – they are too focused on securing power for the next 5 years to be interested in assisting their sworn enemies/erstwhile bestest together buddies. No, they are simply going to leave Labour to their fate, toodle pip old chap and all that.

    That being said, I don’t doubt there could be localised “issues”. I am sure the SNP have contingency in place for that. There are certainly a large enough number of activists to give close scrutiny across the board from electoral rolls to uptake in postal voting.

    Ding Ding, round 2

  15. da
    Ignored
    says:

    Meanwhile over at the Guardian there’s more April Foolery with Ed Balls telling us a vote for SNP is a Tory one. How I laughed. And he thinks he is believable as a chancellor too. Hee hee hee.

  16. mumsyhugs
    Ignored
    says:

    At least it’s the perfect day for the Westmonster parties to release more of their ‘policies’! Difference is, we’re no longer fools, April or otherwise! 🙂

  17. steveasaneilean
    Ignored
    says:

    Don’t worry – Mr Murphy will coat every promise he makes over the next 5 weeks with a lick of tartan paint.

  18. David Agnew
    Ignored
    says:

    Asking any yes voter to consider coming “back” to labour is to ask someone to coldly consider drinking a cup of vomit.

    Ain’t gonna happen.

  19. Ken500
    Ignored
    says:

    Who are the 39-40 alleged Labour rebels?

    They will soon be bribed into place. Iraq War. Billions against.

    Record’s readership has halved. No comments allowed.

    The Press are complaining about £30Million being spent on medicine to keep the population healthy. Out of a budget of £Billions. Is that all?

    Labour/Unionists means- tested student loans. It meant students of household of average earning had no support. Labour/Unionists would rather people were unemployed (£60 a Week?), than studying.

  20. Roddy Macdonald
    Ignored
    says:

    Tis a pity for Miliband that the talent of Nick Park makes Wallace a far more convincing real human being than Miliband is.

  21. heedtracker
    Ignored
    says:

    Its a cruel UKOK world but April is the cruelest month, for your patience with vote SLab or else BBC and co.

    April fools, Sept fools, Jim Murphy, Jim Naughty battle it out on BBC R4 news 8am, so across teamGB, biggest party is next UK.gov, over and over for ever and since 1924?

    It should be quite dreary hearing Naughty fluff Murphy BBC style. “Well Jim you know, everyone knows, largest party gets elected” ” I do Jim, but even vile separatists say you’re very good looking Jim” “Oh stop Jim” “

  22. scottieDog
    Ignored
    says:

    Happy April 1st 🙂

  23. Tackety Beets
    Ignored
    says:

    Jim McColl on RS with Glen Campbell !

    Ha ha the penny has dropped !

    Roll on Mid day !

  24. Chid
    Ignored
    says:

    Yer takin us aw fur huntigowks – a bit like Slab itsel.

  25. heedtracker
    Ignored
    says:

    “I’m in Embro this morning so its natural that I talk to Scottish Labour leader Jim Murphy” says Jim Naughty. You couldn’t invent a more politicised public broadcaster than the BBC, but its only “natural.”

    Why its only “natural” to speak to Jim Murphy is my teamGB, WTF is going on these UKOK newsrooms of the day, so far, today:D

  26. Ben Donald
    Ignored
    says:

    Labour must die in order to be reborn – really die. It must be crushed, utterly. Broken. This is absolutely not the time, with five weeks to go, to be trifling with overtures to supposed Labour rebels. That’s for after. Not now!

  27. ErinT
    Ignored
    says:

    Jim Murphy’s line has changed.

    “The biggest party traditionally forms the government”

  28. heedtracker
    Ignored
    says:

    “SNP getting in our way to form a government” Murphy SLabour party political broadcast going very well with wet fart Naughty either sleepy with full English breakfast, jet lagged or his mike’s off. What a bunch.

  29. manandboy
    Ignored
    says:

    Nice one Stu – am happy to see that your sense of humour remains intact.

    I wish I could say the same for Labour,
    but there’s nothing funny about their suppurating corruption.

  30. nycgype
    Ignored
    says:

    @rigmac7

    Bravo, take a bow. Summed up my thoughts.

  31. Lindsey Smith
    Ignored
    says:

    Phew!

  32. galamcennalath
    Ignored
    says:

    Perhaps Murphy’s line should change to, ” The biggest party usually forms the government, though we tried hard to form a minority government in 2010, but Gordon just refused to resign as part of the deal so we let the Tories in. ” … and … ” We plan do exactly the same again, if we get the chance. ”

    No …. Everyone would just think it was an April Fool’s gag, Murphy being honest, Nae chance.

  33. manandboy
    Ignored
    says:

    I’ve heard a rumour that the PM, David Cameron,
    in a very rare move by Buckingham Palace,
    is to be knighted by Her Majesty
    for services to seamless and unending insincerity.

  34. Grouse Beater
    Ignored
    says:

    The VOW 2 in a newsagent near you. NO April 1st irony.

    100 company bosses pitching for their Conservatives have their name on the Torygraph’s front page. Subtitled:

    ‘People be damned. Profits before democracy.’

    (None consulted staff, shareholders, or lawyers before signing up.)

  35. Spout
    Ignored
    says:

    Cheers Rev.

    Humour is good.

    I need more of it….to counter the ANGER.

  36. Wee Jonny
    Ignored
    says:

    Kinda O/T but no really coz it’s in the first line o the story-

    The National has a piece on the band Yes wanting Yes to stop being used by us. The story finishes with “Murphy was asked to comment on the band’s decision. “Everybody knows the largest party forms the government” he said”

    Happy April Fools Day from The National 🙂

  37. manandboy
    Ignored
    says:

    Now just 36 days till we cast the Scottish Branch
    of Labour’s PLP into the political wilderness.

    The reaction to their demise will be what dominates the newsdesks,
    with little attention being paid to the hugely positive side for Scotland.

    Then, after a summer break, we can attend to the job
    of cleaning up the Scottish Parliament,
    making it Unionist free.

    However, I won’t be surprised if at that point,
    we will hardly be able to hear ourselves think
    for the uproar coming up from the south,
    as the English deal with the political upheaval
    which is sure to take place,
    with the influx of SNP MP’s to the Commons,
    and Angus and Ed in frequent talks.

    Either that or uproar over yet another rigged election.

  38. Muscleguy
    Ignored
    says:

    You do realise Rev that those of us who run Adblocker, Ghostery and NoScript see an area of white space like that and immediately go and look at what we must allow to run in that space?

  39. bugsbunny
    Ignored
    says:

    I think the biggest April Fool joke would be the Scots themselves if they returned more than a dozen Labour MPs. Curran being the biggest clown of the lot.

    Stephen.

  40. Macart
    Ignored
    says:

    Wee Jonny

    Or in this case – ‘Everyone knows the largest party in Scotland will decide who gets to form the government’. 😉

  41. Kes Smith
    Ignored
    says:

    Happy april 1st 🙂

  42. Bugger (the Panda)
    Ignored
    says:

    Nothing is OT on this thread, within reason so, did anyone follow R$ this morning and their stab at explaining Scotland Londonland?

    I heard Ruthie and had a period of being disconnected with a message telling me that the transmission was restricted because of a right issue or summat like that. All web feeds were the same, even direct from the BBC’s own website.

    It, needless to say, returned just in time let Smurfy get his PPB.

    Couple questions

    1 Did I mist NS during the out?
    2 Was she broadcast when I blew my nose?
    3 Did anyone time how long Smurfy was allowed? I switched him off and had a quick game of solitaire and then took a shower and her still blabbering away.

    I heard enough from Smurfy to note that he said that the SNP was getting in his way!!! FFS!!

    Help!

  43. bugsbunny
    Ignored
    says:

    There used to be the old saying, “Scotland will be free when the last Minister is strangled by the last copy of the Sunday Post”. Change Minister for Scottish Labour MP and Sunday Post for Daily Record and the prophecy is fulfilled.

    Stephen.

  44. galamcennalath
    Ignored
    says:

    Grouse Beater says:
    ” 100 company bosses pitching for the Conservatives have their name on the Torygraph’s front page. ”

    I note all the OBE MBE CBE s on the list. Charitable contributions? Or, political contributions!?

    Might be an April Fool’s 😉

  45. Bugger (the Panda)
    Ignored
    says:

    BBC Radio news now reporting that during my outage, Smurfy said that the people who are going to vote SNP will return to vote Labour when they “waken up” (I paraphrase).

    Now, is that Smurfy’s April Fool joke?

    I don’t think it can be beaten today.

  46. heedtracker
    Ignored
    says:

    Jim Naughty signs off his April fools vote SLab or else Scotland region Embro trip with him and far right shill Alex Massie? both agreeing that SNP vote is not a cult but it is a religion that is not interested/impervious to normal political debate, like what theirs isn’t, not at all.

    Rule Britannia.

  47. Andrew Scott
    Ignored
    says:

    Unfortunately, we were all taken as fools on 18.9.14.

  48. Macart
    Ignored
    says:

    I think you’ll find heed, that their idea of politics and how it should be practiced differs a bit from ours.

    For instance we’re not into public manipulation, government decided by media, or indeed position through patronage and gangsterism. We’re not into rewriting history, othering our own population or dividing our society through fear and scapegoating. Neither are we into geopolitical posturing, exclusion or graft.

    Clearly there must be something wrong with us if we can’t get on board with proper politics. 😉

  49. Marcia
    Ignored
    says:

    heedtracker

    Having listened to Ewan Crawford and Alex Massie on the Todat programme, the message was that Labour was going to get thumped and there is not a lot they can do about it.

    I did not think JM came out well in his interview at 8.10 – he monotone droning voice did have a change – now it is ‘traditionally the largest party gets to form the government….. no longer ‘always’. He is still an April Fool.

  50. mumsyhugs
    Ignored
    says:

    Hey where’s our fundraiser gone?! Ah – the rev must be away putting it to good use 🙂

  51. Free Scotland
    Ignored
    says:

    I heard Radio Scotland’s choice of guest today was Wee Willie Winkie (aka Willie Rennie): quite appropriate for April Fools’ Day.

  52. heedtracker
    Ignored
    says:

    Hi Macart. Proper politics indeed. Every day in teamGB is a Conservative right to rule kaleidoscope of NO to PR Holyrood but its clearly a huge challenge for them all in the BBC in particular.

    Naughty and the BBC are in the realm of the supernatural cultist attack, so its probably like the Alamo in newsrooms now. Its just very weird that presumably intelligent dudes like Naughty, Massie, everyone in Pacific Quay think we’re all moronic empty vessels waiting for their next dose of BetterTogetherBBC brain washing.

    Maybe they just have to believe that they really are unaccountable to no one, they are all powerful , they can make people do as they say and it will last for ever, like cults usually do.

  53. Bugger (the Panda)
    Ignored
    says:

    @ heedtracker says:
    1 April, 2015 at 9:05 am

    SNP vote is not a cult but it is a religion that is not interested/impervious to normal political debate

    Political Parties share many similarities with religions.

    All new and advancing political movements take on a “cultish” aura. The religious “phase” arrives when the movement has decided what are its base beliefs and how they should be extended forward, if it is to continue.

    We don’t believe Labour, the Conservatives of the LibDems any more as they have lost their core foundations or we do not agree with them.

    So whilst Massie was correct he was talking shite.

    The only cult believing what he was saying was the BBC and London cults.

  54. Oneironaut
    Ignored
    says:

    @Rigmac7
    The trouble is though that Labour and the Tories are designed to give the illusion of choice to voters.

    That choice was taken away once Labour got infiltrated by Tory troughers decades ago, but even though the two parties are now pretty much indistinguishable, they’re kept separate to retain that illusion of choice.

    Also the Tories main aim up here in the colonies is to stop the SNP from gaining power, so even if they choose to abandon their second party up here, they’d likely still be willing to aid in the rigging of a vote to ensure the SNP don’t reach Westminster.

    Disclaimer: In case any of the sceptics are reading this, please note that I didn’t say they would rig the vote. I’m only saying that they could, and it would be in their own best interests to.
    Also this post might just be an April Fool joke anyway, I haven’t really decided yet. Still half-asleep in fact…

  55. G4jeepers
    Ignored
    says:

    You can’t April fool all of the people all of the time – except in Scotchland land…

  56. Luigi
    Ignored
    says:

    Jim Murphy’s confident prediction, that Labour will not lose a single seat in Scotland in May 2015, is beginning to look possible, if not probable, after a number of opinion polls released in the last five minutes, seems to show that the SNP may have peaked way too early.

  57. Gary
    Ignored
    says:

    We should trust the Conservative government. They have our best interests at heart. They deserve the chance to finish us off…

  58. schrodingers cat
    Ignored
    says:

    what?
    you mean yesterdays rumour about murphy trying it on with curran wasnt an april fool?

    just lost my breakfast

  59. call me dave
    Ignored
    says:

    ‘scot goes pop’ update for poll of polls (which doesn’t include yesterdays poll as it was not a national poll.

    Also the figures for Scotman and Herald poll figures have been ‘wrongly calculated’ from yesterdays nonsense, wonder why.
    Murphy thinks he’s still in the race.

    PS:
    I’m on windows 8.1 with ad blocker and have a white space… am I missing this April foll thing? Or just not fully awake yet.

  60. Seasick Dave
    Ignored
    says:

    By delivering Home Rule, I think that Brown meant that he would sit on his arse at home and spout off to the press about ruling the world.

  61. Robert Peffers
    Ignored
    says:

    Ach! Ah’m awa back tae ma bed.
    Ah switched oan BBC Radio Scotland. Yon Kaye, (wi wan e’e), pit mi tae sleep in the big chair. Sae noo Ah hiv a muckle afu crick in ma neck.

    Ah maun jalousie listenin tae Kaye, (wi wan e’e), is a real pain in the neck.

  62. Mosstrooper
    Ignored
    says:

    Luigi, for an April fool joke to work it has to have a little connection with reality.

  63. galamcennalath
    Ignored
    says:

    Andrew Scott says:
    “Unfortunately, we were all taken as fools on 18.9.14.”

    I suppose there is no reason why Scotland should have All Fools Day on April 1st, like everyone else.

    Perhaps we should move All Fools Day to the 18th September from now on?!

  64. HandandShrimp
    Ignored
    says:

    Aaaaaargh!

  65. Luigi
    Ignored
    says:

    Mosstrooper says:

    1 April, 2015 at 10:02 am

    Luigi, for an April fool joke to work it has to have a little connection with reality.

    Hard as I tried, I just could not find any connection between the red tories and reality!

  66. Bob Mack
    Ignored
    says:

    Had to laugh at Murphy this morning.Obviously taking advice from a Psychologist in the final run up to the election. He accuses the SNP of being arrogant, knowing that it is a old Scots character trait to bring down to earth ,those who attempt or are appearing to get above themselves. Good try Jim ,BUT NO CIGAR.There are worse character traits we hate even more,and you exhibit most of them.

  67. Robert Peffers
    Ignored
    says:

    Ach! Ah didna gan tae bed Ah gaed tae ma pals hoose. His TV wis oan Channel 131, (Parliament Channel).

    It has the Live Scottish Parliament Finance Committee on. Debating the UK Economic Outlook. Robert Chote, Chairman of the Office for Budget Responsibility is now talking down to the Scots Committee members.

    Is BBC determined to put all Scotland to sleep?
    Yawn!

  68. bookie from hell
    Ignored
    says:

    here’s a scenario worse than sept 18th

    election north/south border

    tory party majority regardless how scotland voted

    3/4 labour voters north of border make decision to stay with labour

  69. Nana Smith
    Ignored
    says:

    As its April fool day

    Alistair Carmichael crashed & burned at an Orkney schools Q & A with the SNP’s Mike Mackenzie. Pupils v unimpressed.

    another lib dem clown…

    http://thehighlandtimes.com/news/2015/03/12/danny-alexander-has-serious-questions-to-answer-over-dodgy-donations/#.VRszLbfxlTo.twitter

  70. Brian Doonthetoon
    Ignored
    says:

    The multiple lines of white single periods is a good one Rev!

    You hooked one…

    8=)

  71. SquareHaggis
    Ignored
    says:

    Freudian April fool fae GMS news flash there referring to wee Wullie Rennet as “William”

    🙂

  72. Nana Smith
    Ignored
    says:

    Ach Stu you kept that news under your wings!

    http://www.labourhame.com/labour-hame-and-wings-over-scotland-an-announcement/

  73. Oneironaut
    Ignored
    says:

    @Bob Mack
    Jim Murphy accusing someone of being arrogant?

    It’s a good thing I’m typing here, because the sheer irony of that just rendered me speechless!

  74. ronnie anderson
    Ignored
    says:

    O R D E R O R D E R O R D E R .

    That Wee Wummin posting at 9.42 has chist want to far wie the April Fools joke.

    Here Missis its wan day it lasts noooo ah parlimentary term.

    xxx Nana.

  75. Robert Louis
    Ignored
    says:

    Salmond as speaker of the HoC! Marvellous. 🙂

    https://commonspace.scot/articles/891/exclusive-alex-salmond-set-for-speaker-of-house-of-commons-role-as-part-of-snp-deal

    The picture must send shivers down the spine of the cringing ‘Scottish’ BritNat unionists, even if it is a spoof.

  76. HandandShrimp
    Ignored
    says:

    Bob

    I think Jim is projecting. Arrogant entitlement and an almost petulant whine of “youse are stealing our votes” is the very hallmark of SLab troughers.

    I would say that one of the nice things about Nicola is a certain humility, caution and connection to the common people.

  77. Glamaig
    Ignored
    says:

    @David Agnew 7:55am
    Asking any yes voter to consider coming “back” to labour is to ask someone to coldly consider drinking a cup of vomit.

    Ain’t gonna happen.

    Funnily enough R4 this morning broadcast an interview with just such a person (named Lauren?) at West of Scotland University in Paisley. She voted Yes but ‘Labour are the only party with a vision for Scotland’ or some such pish.

    I really wonder where they found her, she must be a SLAB member and/or relative of somebody at the BBC, surely. Or was it an April Fool and I fell for it? Surely no intelligent human being could really vote Yes and then want to vote Labour? Something not right.

  78. ErinT
    Ignored
    says:

    “The multiple lines of white single periods is a good one Rev!”

    When I read the article this morning I kept waiting for a video to load. To be fair, I was half asleep.

  79. dakk
    Ignored
    says:

    That’s it.

    First you disappear for 4 days and the first post when you return is the divide and rule ‘Backward Step’.

    Now this.

    What did they offer you 🙂

  80. Caledonius
    Ignored
    says:

    That panic attack was just what I needed this morning. Nice one Rev, now to slap myself for actually falling for this.

    Merry April Fools to all, and to all a good day!

  81. Nana Smith
    Ignored
    says:

    HAhahhahahaha Ronnie xxx

    Best be sitting down when you read my post at 10.24

  82. almannysbunnet
    Ignored
    says:

    “Mr Alexander encouraged someone who turned out to be fake businessman at a private meeting to provide further financial support to the party – but that he did not want “to intrude on the details”. Lovely turn of phrase that. So when officer plod comes and asks if you knew the diamonds you bought at the butchers arms were stolen just say “och well I didnae want to intrude on the details.”

  83. HandandShrimp
    Ignored
    says:

    Robert

    That made me smile 🙂

  84. Rigmac7
    Ignored
    says:

    Cheers nycgype

    Oneironaut

    No disagreement on the 2 for the price of 1 set up with the reds and blues. I do think that the blues are only focused on getting back into power though, and that is the overriding emotion for them. Are they going to assist in increasing the reds number of seats in Scotland? I don’t think so.

    However, would it be feasible that they could assist in a staged recovery of orangey yellow seats, giving them just enough to form a coalition with them and the other dribs and drabs? That could be a possibility.

    Has anyone looked at the orangey yellow status? As in, how many seats would they realistically require to hang onto, to be able to return to the status quo (plus support acts) after May 7th?

    This would be more likely to happen in England than Scotland, but would be interesting to see what the stats are in marginals and not so marginals for them – what level the postal vote take up is there.

  85. ronnie anderson
    Ignored
    says:

    @ Rev. We know the SNP are serious, but there again they are Scottish, and not A Accounting Unit of the Scottish branch of the Labour Party. or the Tree of low hanging fruits,soon to be Picked Off.

  86. Lollysmum
    Ignored
    says:

    Nice try Nana-didn’t work though 🙂

    Alex is the last person on earth that would agree to be Speaker. Anyone in that position is neutral & has to be.Bet AS has been laughing about it this morning though.

    Keep searching 🙂 Must be better ones out there 🙂

  87. gerry parker
    Ignored
    says:

    @galamcennalath at 10:07

    “Perhaps we should move All Fools Day to the 18th September from now on?!”

    Now that is an excellent Idea. We should certainly commemorate it in some way.

  88. John
    Ignored
    says:

    While we’re still doing April Foolery, here’s a list of 30 Scottish Labour MPs who voted for Osborne’s Welfare Cap:

    https://petewishart.wordpress.com/2014/03/26/the-30-weekend-socialists/

    Oh, wait a minute, that’s actually real. I hope everyone in my neck of the woods (Edinburgh South) takes a note of Ian Murray.

  89. Rob James
    Ignored
    says:

    Breaking News!

    Damning evidence, that our country has been infiltrated by aliens, appears on a document uncovered by our intrepid reporter E.T Bleaver. Horrible bug eyed monsters have taken the form of humans and have been walking amongst us for years. Their aim is to take over the world.

    If they look just like humans, how do we know who they are?
    Professor Ivan Idea, the astrophysicist who wrote the original document explained,

    “Although the creatures have done a pretty good make up job, there are a few traits which help us to identify them.

    Firstly, they have a habit of repeating the same phrases over and over again, even when they are completely false.

    If you persist to question, however, the monsters fly into a self defensive rage and accuse everyone of bullying them.

    Lastly, they appear to have an inbred fetish for money, which makes their eyes glow and promotes a large ear to ear grin.”

    So how do we get rid of them?
    They are immune to all conventional and nuclear weaponry. However, their destruction can be assured simply by ticking a box on 7th May.

  90. Eckle Fechan
    Ignored
    says:

    But seriously.

    The gloves are off now.

    “Bring it ON”.

  91. think again
    Ignored
    says:

    Nana Smith and labourhame @ 10.24

    Think this might be a first, laughing with Labour rather than at them. Gallows humour from Labour? They must surely think it is all over.

  92. almannysbunnet
    Ignored
    says:

    So with a tear in his eye Jim Murphy has proclaimed that labour are the underdogs in Scotland. Of course, being Scots, we do like to support the underdog, we don’t like the man lording it over the underdog and we will therefor go out and vote against these nasty SNP people taking advantage of the poor wee labour underdogs. Aye right Mr Murphy, pull the other one! We can read you like a cheap novel.

  93. Dave McEwan Hill
    Ignored
    says:

    Varying selection of “April Fool” diversions in the papers today. The Herald has their’s in headlines right across the front page

  94. Dave McEwan Hill
    Ignored
    says:

    Varied selection of April Fool jokes across the papers this morning.
    The Herald has theirs in headlines across the front page

  95. ronnie anderson
    Ignored
    says:

    @ Oneironaut 9.37 ( disclaimer) FEARTY whit happened tae Scotland the Brave,do you know ken the words LoL.

  96. ronnie anderson
    Ignored
    says:

    Milliband pontificating from Colon Valley ( sky news)
    isent he a Arseole.

  97. Callum
    Ignored
    says:

    Given that SNP progressive policies are gaining traction in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, then there is a case to field SNP candidates in [b]all seats across England, Wales and Northern Ireland[/b] with the ultimate goal that all home nations can become independent together.

  98. Edward
    Ignored
    says:

    Listened to Willie Rennie being interviewed by Gary Robertson on GMS this morning

    To be honest was beginning to feel sorry for him as Gary questioned him

    Willie was sounding like a man trying to bale out a lifeboat that the faster he baled out, the faster water was getting into the boat.

    What I found funny was at the end when Gary told the listeners that ‘minor parties’ will be interviewed at the end of the week – So the Libdems in Scotland are not a ‘minor party’? – if not, soon will be for the whole of the UK come May 8th

  99. call me dave
    Ignored
    says:

    FGS! White dots is it… I’m mildly amused. . . Ha!

    Anyhoo! Been to get my cereal supply in (honest) Iceland Quaker porridge oats still half price. Offer been going from right after the referendum. Got my kitchen cupboard well stocked again.

    Jim Dim is right. The largest party (in Scotland) will decide which government is in power after 7th May, if the polls are to be believed.

  100. Faltdubh
    Ignored
    says:

    @Glamaig,

    I bet it’s this woman. And I bet R4, tried to paint her off as a punter/student on the street when in fact she’s a Labour activist.

    https://twitter.com/lauren_gilmour

    I remember she wrote a decent piece pre-referendum about being a Yes voter and Labour. Now the Ref is over her Twitter feed seems to be filled with anti-SNP, uninspiring and unoiriginal bullshit that you expect from the likes of Dugdale, Lamont, Murphy, and not someone who penned a decent article about voting Yes.

  101. CanWeHAveOurDemocracyBack?
    Ignored
    says:

    I think you lot are a bit hard on Jim Murphy. Jim is a man who has tirelessly devoted his whole life to helping others. He only went into politics because of his deeply held belief in socialism. Jim is a decent, honest man driven by noble principles. His record shows he has always voted for policies that create a fairer, more equal, society. Even though by doing so he might damage his own career prospects.

    Jim was born into extreme poverty, his entire family once lived in a drawer and had to eat coal to survive. Despite this, Jim pulled himself up by his bootstraps and became a successful businessman,creating employment for millions.
    All of whom would surely testify what a decent, honest man he is and how is is not one of those people who’s only interested in enriching himself regardless of how it affects everyone else, no definitely not. Did I say he was a true socialist? anyway he is, always has been, honest.
    Jim, having proved himself extremely capable in the real world, is qualified to bring the many skills he learned into the world of politics.

    Jim is different from so many politicians who faff about at university doing some pointless degree for 3,4 (even 9!) years, before going into politics, having never EVER had a real job.
    Jim was surely clever enough to get a degree but I imagine such a principled man of integrity wouldn’t feel right taking taxpayers money (in the form of a student grant) year after year, after err…year…after ummm …year without ever actually putting anything back into society.
    Its a shame he didn’t go to university really. As a true socialist like Jim would surely have fought against the introduction of Tuition Fees.
    In conclusion, Jim, above all, is a man of his word. His word is his bond. He is probably the most trustworthy man in Parliament. When he says something you know he believes it deeply. Leave the spin and political tricks or other, lesser, people. Jim always speaks from the heart and nothing can make his change his mind. That’s why he doesn’t accept any jobs on the side, directorships, holidays, etc.That would compromise his princples and Jim is a beacon of integrity in this rotten Westminster trough. I’m sure he gives all his expenses to the poor as well, after all and MPs salary alone is FAR more than most of us in full time employment have to live on.
    If only there were more like Jim.

  102. Macart
    Ignored
    says:

    Nana

    ‘Serena Huntigowk,’

    Bit of a giveaway. 🙂

  103. Robert Peffers
    Ignored
    says:

    @Bob Mack says: 1 April, 2015 at 10:10 am:

    ” … knowing that it is a old Scots character trait to bring down to earth ,those who attempt or are appearing to get above themselves.”

    Whits that? Bob Mac, Ye mean Jim Lad, “kent ma faither?

  104. Nana Smith
    Ignored
    says:

    Macart you are so sharp!

    I know someone who fell for it , I will enjoy reminding her for some time to come hahaha

    Did you enjoy your weekend off a wandering?

  105. ronnie anderson
    Ignored
    says:

    @ Nana 10.24 ah did an ah left ah comment

  106. ronnie anderson
    Ignored
    says:

    Secretary of State for Scotland visits a Distilery yesterday & leaves with a Hogshead of Whisky, how very appt.

    OH the IRONY.

  107. Helena Brown
    Ignored
    says:

    CanWeHAveOurDemocracyBack?, I just love that, sarcasm written with so much feeling. It was sarcasm wasn’t it?

  108. Grouse Beater
    Ignored
    says:

    Galamcennalath: I note the OBE MBE CBE’s on the list. Charitable contributions or political contributions!?

    Ah, the Bob’s my uncle party. 🙂

  109. Glamaig
    Ignored
    says:

    @Faltdubh
    That seems likely. They interviewed two people who they at least implied were students at UWS. One was her, the other was a lad who was going to vote SNP.

    They are implying they are interviewing 2 randoms they have found wandering around UWS but in fact have this Lauren character lined up perhaps through contacts at the branch office.

    Vox pop obviously not giving the answer they want.

  110. Robert Peffers
    Ignored
    says:

    @Lollysmum says: 1 April, 2015 at 11:12 am:

    “Alex is the last person on earth that would agree to be Speaker. Anyone in that position is neutral & has to be.Bet AS has been laughing about it this morning though.”

    But! But! But!, Lollysmum, There has’t been a neutral speaker in the House of Commons since, ex-member of the Tiller Girls dancing troupe, Betty Boothroyd became The Rt Hon. the Baroness Boothroyd OM.

  111. Ron Maclean
    Ignored
    says:

    CWHODB 1143

    In your eulogy to Jim you omitted his service to the food bank industry probably because we all know he doesn’t like to talk about his exploits. After all as Jim doesn’t say there’s no such thing as a free lunch unless of course you’re a Slab MP.

  112. Patrick Roden
    Ignored
    says:

    ” •Labour Hame relaxing its approach to evidence and embracing the sorts of fact-free assertions and plain untruths that have proved so popular to the Bath-based site’s readers.”

    ‘It’s approach to evidence’ haha!

  113. Macart
    Ignored
    says:

    @ Nana

    I certainly did.

    Some fresh air, good eats and I even managed that cuddle. 🙂

  114. balaaargh
    Ignored
    says:

    Not even for a millisecond, Stu. 🙂

    Today’s National has a good gag and the one in the Courier even fooled me for a minute!

  115. Wee jonny
    Ignored
    says:

    MacArthur says “Or in this case – ‘Everyone knows the largest party in Scotland will decide who gets to form the government’. 😉

    Yip, that’ll do me.

  116. Tamson
    Ignored
    says:

    This is the best April Fool today, by a country mile:

    http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/apr/01/rosamund-pike-james-bond-ed-miliband-midas-touch-election

    Thing is, given the source and subject matter, it’s impossible to tell whether it’s for real or not. Well played, Anne Perkins.

  117. Billy
    Ignored
    says:

    Oh Oh! Daily Record will publish this post to further their dillusion as FACT.

    Lol

  118. The Rough Bounds
    Ignored
    says:

    Where do some of you guys get the idea that April Fool’s Day finishes at mid-day? It’s called April Fool’s Day, not April Fool’s Morning, and when I was young it was called Gowkin’ Day, not Gowkin’ Mornin’.

    I suspect it’s another of those things that have crept over the border along with their po-faced English owners. More than three hours of joviality and smiling probably hurts their faces.

    And for those of you not blessed with even a modicum of Scots, a ‘Gowk’ is a cuckoo.

  119. Lollysmum
    Ignored
    says:

    Robert Peffers
    You are right. I remember Betty Boothroyd’s retirement & realised it would never be the same again. She was neutral & took no prisoners. If someone/anyone stepped out of line-bang-publicly rebuked. She never hesitated to put MP’s in their place.

    Actually Nicola reminds me of her. The same instant recall of facts & use of the art of the skilful put-down 🙂

  120. katsoft
    Ignored
    says:

    HaHa like it.
    Almost as good as Daily Torygraph’s front page April fool.

    Oh B*****ks just found out they were serious



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