Who am I?
An alert reader sends in this letter received by their company in 2009:
“Hello,
[identifying paragraph removed]
I’ve now taken the plunge to set myself up as a freelancer and am looking for voiceover work in commercials, documentaries and corporate films as well as scripting and media training.
I’m [redacted] years old with a warm, rich voice which has both light and shade. A long history of factual programming means I can convey information with authority, combined with an openness and accessibility which encourages interest; the unexpected world of live broadcasting means I’ve learned to be equally adept at putting across humour. My accent is a neutral blend of central Scotland tones.
I’m based in [redacted], but can travel anywhere. I don’t have an ISDN line in the house yet but will happily go to studios, otherwise I have home recording equipment and can send MP3 files by email.
I have included a short demo of more commercial work, and if you have any jobs you think might benefit from one of Scotland’s more ‘well kent’ voices, then I’m keen to hear from you.”
This affable sort with a “warm, rich voice” and an aptitude for comedy is now a prominent Scottish political figure. But which one? No prizes, it’s just a wee bit of fun.
Ruth Davidson?
Gordon Brown?
Is it wee Ruthie?
I’d plump for Ruth Davidson as well.
Going for Ruthie too although the person doesn’t mention a demonic laugh
Johann Lamont…….HA HA HA HA
Alistair Carmichael?
Scraping the barrel back then, weren’t you darling? 🙂
Alistair Darling
Johann Lamont…
Bwahahahahahaha.
James Kelly?
Nah wait. He’s not well kent now never mind 2009. Alistair Darling?
It must be someone from Labour, or you wouldn’t ask, so that narrows it down a bit. I expect the joke will be that the letter was from someone within their ranks who is particulartly noted for bumbling inarticulacy. Sadly that doesn’t narrow it down any further, so I’m stumped.
M Curran
Willie Rennie?
The voice that was fashioned in the shade of the chimney stack of Buckhaven power station: Ruth
George Foulkes?
Cara Hilton , Dunfermline’s finest
It’s Jola,
“an aptitude for comedy” is what gave it away. 🙂
Wee Jimmy Krankie
Iain Gray ?
Michael Portillo?
RentaGub Blair Mcdougall (arse)
“RentaGub Blair Mcdougall (arse)”
feck
Mundell?
Brian Taylor
Kirsty Wark
Someone who has worked in live broadcasting, in a “factual” context. Someone who was already a “well kent” voice in 2009. Or thought s/he was. Wasn’t a sitting MP or MSP in 2009. Now a prominent political figure.
I would never have pegged Ruthie as a “well kent” voice in 2009. Other than her, though, I’m struggling.
That STV newsreader chappie that was elected as an MSP at the last election?
Is there a prize before I reveal his name?
I think that everyone has mentioned all the individuals that I might have thought of here so with Stu’s permission I’d like to go O/T and raise the issue of the “beautiful” language now being spread by the most delightful of Scottish newspapers the Daily Record.
I’m guessing that they can see the writing is on the wall for the Better Together squad and are finally showing their exasperation at this fact. 😆
http://www.newsnetscotland.com/index.php/scottish-news/8421-daily-record-editor-defends-crackpot-website-claim
Lamont has been an MSP since 1999. I reckon it is Ruth Davidson.
Gordon Brewer?
Brian Taylor. Isn’t he a prominent political figure on the No campaign?
It’s Ruth. However Wikipedia says she left the Beeb in 2009 to study at Glasgow Uni. Probably coz no-one else wanted to employ her.
Danny Alexander?
My 2nd punt and actual guess would be…. Henry McLeish
Being insulted by a comic like the Record is hardly a worry. It is barely a tabloid let alone a newspaper. Kids with crayons have produced better standards of “journalism”.
It’s Ruth Davidson.
bella
Ruthie was with the BBC, if I recall. Seems a fair bet 😉
correction. That was the 2007 election I was thinking of. Strike my contribution.
I assume you are going to tell us
** Blair McDougel **
He was between jobs (cough) at the time – I’m nae yellow just off-white 😉
I see that Newsnet Scotland have finally put up a link to Wings over Scotland…
Its now that our sites (and others) need to pull together to capture the most readers ‘by hook or by crook’
Its quite a nice wee link above their independence fact sheet link on the left of their NEWS tab that says: “Wings over Scotland: Political Commentary and Analysis”…
Which is good… although Rev Stu will still quibble over the random capitalisation of words… 🙂
That tit who set fire to the curtains…..Or Heaven help us Andy Kerr ……..Nah .he’s unemployable
As far as the quiz goes I thought Gordon Brewer…
Katie Hopkins?
Sounds more like Blair Jenkins to me.
Kirsty Wark …… 😀
Or it looks like the drivel on Darling’s speaker management company intro ..
Douglas Fraser?
It’s two cheeks of the same ass Galloway
O/T Everyone seen this?
Change Org Hopkins
Please sign an share.
¿Wendy Alexander?
Katie Hopkins?
🙂
Hmmm maybe one of these two
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CipJ6i5aMUU
Oops – obvs not KH if she’s a prominent Scottish politician – so? I’ll say wee Ruthie.
For some reason, George Galloway springs to mind.
Wingman 2020
Probably
Jim Murphy aka Skeletor ….
Rula Lenska’s cat …
If Ruth left the BBC in 2009, that settles it. The letter is consistent with someone newly on the job market in 2009.
Its ma favourit person ANUS, He,s light n dark, n dim tae
I am trying to watch Newsnight Scotland report on the helicopter crash, but I can’t take in what is being said because we are so used to getting the shit kicked out of us by that unionist, anti-Scottish, bastard Gary Robertson
“… now a prominent Scottish political figure.”
The cerise jaiket that has now reverted to its silent message of no substance over style.
I think its Gordon Brown
Mmmm, set myself up as a freelancer… I’m [redacted] years old (just like me, well redacted) … A long history of factual programming (long but the factual bit threw me off) … but can travel anywhere (on the cusp of getting booted out) … but for me,
the giveaway is, I don’t have an ISDN line in the house yet .
Why? ISDN, digital connection over telephone lines, short range, available only from BT, maximum 64kbps, sometimes 128kbps, needs line seperate from telephone, hugely expensive but apparently able and willing to afford it or have it paid for, common in the BBC for the Queen Margaret Drive yuppies to play with but without knowing what they’re doing, only available in select areas, in the days of dialup modems running at less that 32kbps, before the world wide web, probably mucks about with an Apple Mac of its day as Macs were easy to connect ISDN, talking about maybe twenty five to thirty years ago so, it’s got to be an auld Bird.
Jackie?
No, it couldn’t be JoLa????
Jackie Bird was not hawking herself around as a new-fledged freelancer in 2009, get real.
Call Kaye please call please?
O/t more oil discovered in Scottish waters
http://www.offshore-mag.com/articles/2013/12/dana-petroleum-finds-oil-offshore-northeast-scotland.html?
obviously it’s the voice of doom alistair darling?
Auntie Bella – Warm rich tones with a comforting bosom. Flavours of juniper and Evening Primrose surrounded by lemon squeezies.
Lorraine Davidson, Labour spindoctor and former STV/BBC political correspondent.
I thought Ruthie until the “equally adept at putting across humour” bit.
Wullie Rennie?
Archie [not Erchie] says:
Auntie Bella – Warm rich tones with a comforting bosom. Flavours of juniper and Evening Primrose surrounded by lemon squeezies.
…lemon squeezies. Is that what it’s called in posh Ralston and thereabouts? Just as well she eventually sqeezed off then, eh?
Not entirely O/T.
I watched the half-hour programme about the helicopter crash on BBC Scotland at 10.35. It’s now on live on BBC1 online, channelling the English programming (they got HIGNFY complete with massive anti-independence propaganda first).
I swear the voice-over announcer is different. This one has a plummy English accent I don’t remember from the BBC Scotland version. Am I hallucinating, or have they re-voiced it to get rid of a Scottish voice-over?
I’m going to jump on the Ruth Davidson bandwagon too (but only in the context of this quiz, naturally!)
Jackie Baillie?
Derek Bateman.
Horacesaysyes – Eeek! Thank heaven for the disclaimer. 🙂
a warm, rich voice which has both light and shade.
Sadly Michael Marra is no longer with us.
Archie [not Erchie]
Careful Archie ! Have taken your tablet today? LOL. Auntie Bella Tsk! Tsk!
Spartacus
I really don’t think I’m imagining it. When I saw this on my TV the voice-over accent matched the accents of the people being interviewed. What is on BBC1 England right now, doesn’t match. Scottish voices on-screen and a plummy English voice as continuity.
Hell’s bells, are our voices not good enough for English consumption?
Morag says:
Jackie Bird was not hawking herself around as a new-fledged freelancer in 2009, get real.
Jackie Bird/hawking/new-fledged/2009 … hehe, one of those is definitely wrong but as I recall, Ms Bird’s professional future wasn’t so hot roon aboot the streets of the Clyde in 2009.
Sally ‘what are we going to do now Margaret Curran’ Magnusson.
from the leftfield it’s … Louise Batchelor, formerly of the BBC, now freelance and prominent within the Scottish Greens.
otherwise I would have said Ruth Davidson as well, considering the amount of fibs in that letter then it would be perfect coming from a Tory.
On second thoughts but same rules apply re ISDN but someone au fait from a communications background, only as the possibility of ISDN was being pushed, can’t be a young ‘un as ISDN was tres expensive, pseudo digital, long before broadband, that rules out Ruthie, still sounds rather femme rather than a guy, can’t really be JoLa as I doubt she’d know what ISDN meant, Curran wouldn’t have a clue and this piece is too femme for her, but is it a woman? It does appear to be so. Maybe McConnell’s holiday pal? The wife, that is.
I guess Ruthie is fav, however as a contrarian I will go for D-D-D-D-D_D —————– Blair Mc Dougal !
All the evidence points towards Ruth Davidson.
– She worked on Real Radio and BBC Radio Scotland for 9 years, so probably does consider herself to be a “well kent” voice, and to have had a long career in factual programming
– It talks of “live broadcasting”, so whoever it is has been a journalist or news presenter, which Ruth has been
– It’s clearly a radio person, rather than TV, since they’re not saying they’re a “well kent” face
– She was born in Edinburgh, but now lives in Glasgow, hence the blended central Scotland accent
– As others have said, she left the BBC in 2009, which fits in with the timing
Here’s her own description when standing for the Glasgow North-East by-election in 2009, which clinches it really:
“I’ve worked as a presenter, a news journalist and a documentary maker for the last nine years, mostly with BBC Scotland and REAL Radio in Glasgow.”
(http://conservativehome.blogs.com/goldlist/2009/08/scottish-tories-choose-exsunday-school-teacher-to-fight-clean-and-honest-campaign-in-glasgow-north-e.html)
I agree with caz-m Derek Bateman.
It’s got to be someone who was looking for a job in 2009, and not someone who was extremely well-known either. Ruthie’s the only candidate.
Oor Brian!
Any clues in this draft version?
“Hello,
[identifying paragraph removed]
I’ve now taken the plunge to set myself up as a [redact] Party and am looking for a voiceover role in national government, as well as reading from scripts and receiving media training.
I’m [redacted] years old with a voice which can be heard in both light and shade. A long history of factual appreciation means I can convey information with aplomb, combined with nerve and discretion which encourages interest and patronage; the unexpected world of live entertainment means I’ve learned to be equally adept at expressive body language. My accents are an indigo-magenta blend of central Scotland tones.
I’m based in [redacted], but can travel internationally. I don’t have an ISDN line in the house but would not say no, otherwise I have home brewing equipment and I believe I can send MP3 files by pure effort of will.
I have included a short demo of more commercial work, and if you have any jobs you think might benefit from one of Scotland’s more well kent ‘bampots’, then I’m keen to hear from you.”
Never mind, if they’d given her the job they’d only have wiped her voice and re-recorded the material in dulcet English tones so that the viewers darn sawf aren’t offended by a crude Jock accent from an actual presenter.
So when you goin to put us out of our misery Rev?
Voice work, maybe facial extremities not suitable for live/ recorded appearances on tv, but ok for live radio and voice overs.
A ‘well kent’ voice smooth and well anunciated speech pleasing to the ear!
It’s Curran.
PS:
That poll is ticking: Celtic connections all YES.
http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/poll/02-12-2013/should-scotland-be-an-independant-country
Kaye Adams
24 hours ago Stu said “you might have to be on your own tomorrow.”
Six posts, that’s all.
Morag – I know, a Wizard indeed 🙂
lamont. has to be.
It’s not Derek Bateman is it?
BTW I notice his blog has somehow disappeared, shame I enjoyed reading it.
http://derekbateman1.wordpress.com/
http://derekbateman2.wordpress.com/
is it Blair Jenkins ?
Thanks Gray, I had links to both blogs on two laptops and both say no longer available.
Strange thing is both your links take me to the same articles. At least they haven’t dragged him off to Lamont’s bunker for a doin by the chairchoob.
O/T. I’d like to ask RD and Mr Mundell some questions –
https://twitter.com/suss100/status/406854909464969218/photo/1/large
Xander, a Tory pledge is like a can of Tesco value furniture polish, it’s valid for as long as the dust takes to settle again.
Gray, I looked at both of Batemans blogs and it’s just the same top story, the rest seems to still be there. Wonder what happened eh, maybe the work of the phantom BT hacker.
‘Hello’
‘Yours an accomplish liar’
All the Unionist Press is Pish. The BBC is crap
The tide is turning and the ‘reporters’ are being left behind in oblivion.
Bateman will return, either with Wings or another router.
It wouldnt be the leader of the Glasgow labour council ? or how about Tony Blair.
cough up the name Rev.
i too noticed that Derek Bateman’s blog has disappeared. Any idea why?
Its Rev Stuart Campbell
Brian Wilson?
It’s Ming Campbell.
Derek Bateman has been found.
derekbateman1.wordpress.com
and
derekbateman2.wordpress.com
It’s obviously John Culshaw.
Do you see what I did there?
Joan McAlpine?
One trick that helps with these things is to read the text, and then remember to check each assertion against your guess, to see whether it holds. If not, then it probably is the wrong guess.
For Godsake Tell Us!
It’s got to be the ever-aspirant Ronald Villiers – aka Ford Kiernan, either that or Brian Cox!
William Hill are offering 500/1 on Phil Goodlad.
Radio 4 going big on OECD education league tables showing”UK” has moved down the table. Mentions Labour controlled Wales is worst, but very silent on Scotland. Good to see what a Labour Gov does for Welsh health and education.
Soorploom
As far as I remember ISDN was about in the early naughties as a forerunner to ADSL
The date, 2009, for ISDN is wrong unless the person lives in the woods and adsl isn’t possible?
Michael McMahon?
Could it be James Naughtie.
Is it call Kaye, without an idea?
Sorry a wee bit off topic, but in reply to some others,but they only had reconfirmed that when BBC and BBC Scotland appear on my TV. I automatically go into “advert mode”.I ignore everything as unionist shite. Just like in Communist Czechoslovakia, no one believed the news in TV Radio or Rude Pravo, even when it was true.
The BBC has “unlearned” me.How many others are now conditioned by them to KNOW we are lied to all the time? This is a really sick situation but an understandable protection against propaganda……..and they the msm/bbc are so pleased with themselves.
The continual erosion of “the drip drip torture
of the Anglo Saxophone”.
“ISDN was tres expensive, pseudo digital, long before broadband”
Que? What on earth is pseudo digital about ISDN? – Integrated Services Digital Network, essentially a two channel digital telephone line with 64Kbps per channel, plus a 16Kbps signalling/control channel (this is Basic Rate ISDN, you can also have a 2Mbps Primary Rate ISDN with 32 x 64K channels with two of them used for control and synchronisation). You do not need a separate telephone line, you just need a suitable digital telephone, or use an analogue phone via a suitable analogue/digital adapter.
Annabel Goldie
Charles Kennedy? David Steel? Tommy Sheridan?
Has the person already been named or are we going to have to go through every living Scot who’s ever been near Westminster?
My first thought was also RD, and it got me thinking a bit.
Has she always been an ‘active’ conservative? if so she may not have fitted very well into the BBC scheme of things.
Anyway a bit of a stroke of genius in becoming a Conservative MSP. I suppose alot of MSPs work reasonably hard, but as a Conservative (even the leader) in Scotland she is guaranteed never to have to worry about being placed in a position of any real responsibility, but still collect £57k+ pa,
I think the key to this one is “live broadcasting”.
The voice is the giveaway – it is Mags Curran
I think any Labour person can be discounted from this as their membership card is their CV and letter writing would be unnecessary.
I go with Ian Brotherhood ‘Tommy Sheridan’.
O/T Found in a report yesterday in an American Financial website.
“Debt levels around the world are astounding – both private and public. Japan is the worst offender, At a full 656% of GDP, with the Uk at 544 % of GPD !
Compared to this the US is a middle of the road debtor at 345% of GDP.”
So there you have it folks, does anyone still want to stay within the Union ?
Is it Anas Sarwar? He doesn’t mention his pen waving skills though 🙁
Scott Minto (Aka Sneekyboy) says:
“Its now that our sites (and others) need to pull together to capture the most readers ‘by hook or by crook’”
Couldn’t agree more Scott. We’re all on the same side here and it’s not about who has the biggest….page views. There is only one aim, Scottish independence.
Stu’s wee quiz? I’m going for Susan Calman (without having done any research whatsoever :))
It was indeed Ruth Davidson. Well done everyone who guessed correctly!
@Semus
The Telegraph going big on how British/UK education is falling behind the rest of the world. After 300 years, they still don’t get this Scotland/England thing, do they.
Is there new UK education offices somewhere that we don’t know about. Does Mike Russell know about this.
Or is it just a typical unionist view of the UK. In that, England is the UK.
Telegraph link :-
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/10486887/UK-pupils-languish-in-international-league-tables.html
“warm, rich voice which has both light and shade”
hahaahahaaaa! ROFL
As I thought, Scotlands education outperforms other uk nations in most measures. Poor labour run wales.
George Reid
“warm, rich voice which has both light and shade”
hahaahahaaaa! ROFL
Probably true actually – that was one of the reasons I thought it was her.
@Bunter
Even the guy from the OECD, who carried out the survey, interviewed on Sky News seems to think that the UK has one education system.
Surely the SNP should be contacting all these national tv stations, reminding them of the separate education departments in Scotland and England.
“24 hours ago Stu said “you might have to be on your own tomorrow.”
Six posts, that’s all.”
They took about half an hour between them, in fairness. But it keeps things ticking along.
Well, yes, they weren’t detailed economic analysis or anything, but you certainly didn’t neglect us.
Now, was it an exploding toilet?
Anyone notice the news is reporting that schoolkids in the “UK” are falling behind other countries?
not (as usual) England and Wales but the UK whats this? are they acknowledging Scotland is no longer part of Britain and reclaiming the title of UK for EWNI?
money saving expert site
Martin Lewis says
“Note: The ‘I live in Scotland’ vote started rising rapidly late Monday evening. Most of the additional votes were ‘yes’ (beforehand, ‘No’ had been winning). Our suspicion is there’s been an email/social media campaign to get ‘yes’ votes – so please take this result with a pinch of salt.”
anyone?
Im betting big boys done it an ran away?
BWAAAHAHAH AHAAHAHAHA 🙂
@ John King
or some of the boys were mobilised to correct the unionista e-mail/ social media campaign?
Just balancing the books Mr Lewis, just balancing the books.
PS Card sent
Bowie?
Jim Murphy