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The best answer ever

Posted on November 27, 2013 by

Comes at 1m 43s, courtesy of the You Couldn’t Make It Up Department:

“Let’s have a debate” – Labour’s solution to all ills.

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    92 to “The best answer ever”

    1. Peninsula says:

      Oh look, it’s Forrest McGump.

    2. sneddon says:

      Ian Grey set the bar but James Kelly just broke it! Who will be next? Another backbench aspirant or an established bawbagger like JoLo? ūüôā

    3. GrutsForTea says:

      Ha Ha. Thanks for that. Labour are finished.

    4. Dinnatouch says:

      “We demand answers”¬†
      “lalalalalalalala, we’re not listening”
      “The SNP refuse to give us answers”

    5. kendomacaroonbar says:

      You know Stu,¬† Please let’s start a seperate thread for categories & nonationans¬†for the equivalent
      Mr Kelly is way way up there !

    6. twenty14 says:

      Fair cheered me up – and that aspires to run our Country. God forgive us

    7. gordoz says:

      He’s clearly no the brightest so go lightly guys. ( Ah what the …)
      Possible comments from labour women at the back – you pick
      1. She’s told him, did she no !
      2. That Jamsie’s on the list fur Westmunster so he is !
      3. James sit the fuck down ya diddy !

    8. big_al says:

      If that wasn’t the point, what (tf) was?

    9. Gaavster says:

      In the name of the wee man 
      We deserve better than this….
      It’s unacceptable¬†

    10. X_Sticks says:

      Sometimes yuo just have to call a spade a spade.
      Jim Kelly is a fkn moron.

    11. gordoz says:

      Look at the L/H/S womans face before playing – possible thought caption
      Is he fur real ?

    12. Lindsey Smith says:

      No, you couldn’t make it up, but, we are now able to believe it is possible,with the current Labour crew in Holyrood.

    13. “That is not the point!” ¬†but its Your point Mr Kelly! ¬†the answer was 6¬†

    14. Marian says:

      Am I right in thinking that there were no council houses whatsoever built in Scotland while Labour and the LibDems formed the government of Scotland between 1999 and 2007?

    15. HulloHulot says:

      I know people vote Labour because their dad voted Labour, but do they ever pause and think
      “who are these tubes?”

    16. James Morton says:

      Is this maths that Scottish labour MSPs do to make themselves feel better? 
      Was James Murphy Lying to himself or the voters? because he was Lying.

    17. rabb says:

      So the SNP have built more council houses than Scottish Labour did when they were in power?
      I would even bet it was deliberate eh Lord Fooks?
      How in the name o the wee man can people still vote for these Muppets?
      According to Jenny Marra (A proud and patriotic Scot BTW) this morning on Call Kay with an e “The people of Scotland made a democratic decision in 1707 to join the union”.
      No Jenny, I think you’ll find the upper echelons made that decision for them sweetened by a tidy pay off.
      Next you’ll be telling us the rioting was down to the Bay City Rollers splitting up and nothing to do with our country being sold off to London?

    18. gordoz says:

      James¬†then went on ¬†to hammer home his point stating –
      The SMP¬†urnae good NSP’s so thur no (by the way n at)

      (Has to be a list MSP surely !)

    19. sneddon says:

      marian Р 6 built houses all the time the labour/libdems were in power in Holyrood, yes six.

    20. iain taylor (not that one) says:

      Not only did SLab SG not build houses, they sent unused Holyrood funds back to WM and used PFI to saddle us with debt for 2 generations. 

    21. gordoz says:

      rabb says
      How can that yin be related to Michael Marra (seriously WTF)

    22. Bunter says:

      Another labour numpty! but is it deliberate? Meanwhile the Herald going large on Rajoys EU scare. nice timing for tonite methinks.

    23. david says:

      why would anyone vote for this thing? is he thicker than lamont ?

    24. sneddon says:

      gordoz – he was elected on the constituency vote, I know, amazing what people will vote for.

    25. Inbhir Anainn says:


      Public authorities built only six new dwellings in 2006 and none in the previous two years.




    26. gordoz says:

      iain taylor (not that one) says:
      Aye PFI the gift that keeps on giving (or .. the great lie)
      In same bracket as ‘snake oil’

    27. gordoz says:

      @ sneddon
      Jesus, I thought Cara Hilton was bad¬† but … ¬†??

    28. Kev says:

      Lamont on bbc2 atm, could be more priceless comments…

    29. cirsium says:

      Rev – Mr Kelly is another who qualifies for your description “heroically witless benchwarmer” .

    30. Ken500 says:


      According to IFS the population is falling

      By 2035 all the Oil will be gone.

      Everyone in Scotland will have moved to London S/E to live in rabbit hutches.

    31. Mosstrooper says:

      Note to Ed. Millipede, Labour.
      Please could you remove your surplus idiots from the Scottish Parliament.
      We are aw gettin’ riddies up here every time wan opens it’s mooth an lets its belly rumble. They’re acting like it’s like a pantomime up here.
      Jimmy Krankie

    32. Brotyboy says:

      Is it just me or is it obvious from the way this man speaks that he is not of the intellect that should be required of any individual who wishes to represent others in an elected chamber?  
      On the other hand, for those who feel that there is doubt over the standard of representatives in an Independent Scottish Parliament, and thus would be tempted to vote No, he has provided ample ammunition.

    33. archie mcneill says:

      what a waste of taxpayers hard earned

    34. Brotyboy says:

      It’s not easy to describe what I’ve just seen in any other terms than that which could be summed up as an ad hominem attack. ¬†But in plain terms, this man is an idiot and brings the Scottish Parliament into disrepute.

    35. kendomacaroonbar says:

      Johann is operating without a script.  This should be interesting !

    36. Geoff Huijer says:

      It would be funny if it weren’t so sad.
      Sad, that someone of this ‘intellect’ could be voted for
      by people who want representation in a Parliament.
      I wouldn’t vote for him to go fetch the milk….

    37. david says:

      I wouldn’t vote for him to go fetch the milk….
      thats a chortler

    38. Calum Craig says:

      I’m not entirely sure whether to laugh or cry.

    39. handclapping says:

      On the other hand, for those who feel that there is doubt over the standard of representatives in an Independent Scottish Parliament, and thus would be tempted to vote No, he has provided ample ammunition.
      This of course is the same argument that proves Westminster to be utterly superior as Ian Davidson is a Committee Chair and so reason enough to vote Yes

    40. Seasick Dave says:

      Was he pished?

    41. twenty14 says:

      Johan lamont ” We have to say to those who are oppressing us ” – what a stupid , stupid woman

    42. Papadocx says:

      presume this crew got past a selection panel. The mind boggles what were the rejects like, they must be back in the pool for another shotie at the greasy pole and Hence the trough.
      who is on the selection panel.?
      Who votes for these turkey’s? Think an audit of the electoral results would not be out of place.

    43. Linda's back says:

      Almost as funny as Iain Gray yesterday.
      Failed school teacher Johann Lamont was floundering when asked if Ed Miliband would veto Scotland’s membership of a Sterling Zone¬†
      She blustered that he would be be UK Prime Minister responsible for the rest of the UK but at 2015 Westminster election he might be the UK Prime Minister but not likely when the Tory / UKIP alliance takes charge of Westminster.

    44. Rod Mac says:

      Nicola is wiping the floor with him, look at his quivering lip when he is asked a question.
      He is flapping

    45. Hetty says:

      This guy is lacking in logic among other things, its not the way he speaks but the rubbish he spouts that is the worry, especially as he earns a good living from it. Dear oh dear, lets hope we do not have to be subjected to such clap trap much longer, it is tedious and a waste of time and money.  

    46. Bunter says:

      The big bruisers gonna bubble.

    47. Castle Rock says:

      Man, I thought he was going to start greetin, he’s just had his arse well and truly skelped.

    48. twenty14 says:

      Ponsonby – was just waiting for it – Sh..e

    49. Kev says:

      Oh dear, think a new secretary of state against Scotland mite be in the pipeline, Carmichael was utterly routed there…oh Rhona can you please stop her talking to me like that, please stop her…its not fair

    50. Archie [not Erchie] says:

      Skewered, gutted, filleted and served up as sushi. Poor man.

    51. Morag says:

      Dang, I switched off very early because he was getting on my wick.  Maybe I should have stayed the course.

    52. Kev says:

      Oh Ponsonby has got it absolutely spot on!!!! So has the other boy..another Micky Moore maulin!!

    53. Papadocx says:

      Carmichael getting gutted by Nicola. How did SLAB talent scouts miss him. That would be a memorable half back line.
      I Gray.               Carmichael.                    Kelly

    54. Rod Mac says:

      What a big girl’s blouse, Help me Rhona the wee lassie is beating me.
      Just shows you when we get them in debate they have nothing!!!
      with his silence he told us plenty , Vote no and they will cut our block grant by £4 billion a year.
      He accepts child poverty as a price worth paying for his Westminster billet.
      What a complete pussy!!!

    55. twenty14 says:

      Alistair ( avnoaclue ) Carmichael

    56. Heather McLean says:

      The people of Scotland made a democratic decision in 1707 to join the union‚ÄĚ.
      Methinks Jenny Marra needs to go back to school! Even primary children know that the ordinary people of Scotland did not even have the right to vote until 1832 , one hundred and twenty five years after the landed gentry sold the people of Scotland down the river and saddled us with the Union!  Even then they had to own housing of a certain value!
      So to say that the people of Scotland made a decision to join the union is a complete and utter lie – the majority of the people of Scotland didn’t even have the right to express an opinion on the matter as they did not have the right to vote!
      Fortunately we have that right now and if anyone has any sense they will use that privilege to vote YES next year and right a wrong that took place in 1707.

    57. GrahamB says:

      Seasick Dave at 10:59
      Afraid not, he’s another great product of Glasgow City Council, put in his time (in licensing dept. I think) so qualified for a step up to Holyrood. Maybe in another 40 years he might make it to the Lords.
      Watched Newsnight’s so-called debate tonight and was appalled at the lack of control exercised by Brewster, Bird and Campbell – BB and C! Even three of them didn’t/wouldn’t stop Lamont sniping at John Swinney while he was trying to give an answer, constantly saying ‘oh no ye didnae’.

    58. theycan'tbeserious says:

      FFS is this what labour calls a politician! 
      OT: Mariano Rajoy said it was important that Scots were ‚Äúrealistic‚ÄĚ about the consequences of a ‚Äėyes‚Äô vote next year and warned against ‚Äúregions‚ÄĚ of member states embarking on ‚Äúsolo adventures‚ÄĚ.
      Last time I looked Scotland was a country…not a region. Don’t threaten us in order to meet your own domestic political agenda…yur maw!¬†

    59. call me dave says:

      Goodness me, do I detect a feeling of euphoria here?
      I’ve been out, not long in. ¬†Seems I will enjoy the playback tomorrow the debate went well then. ¬†
      Mr Kelly here must have drawn the short straw and it was his turn to sparkle in the parliament.  Too many of his sort are on a list of pals who eventually get on the gravy train.  Labour have a long dark history of chumps in red rosettes!  Sadly it does bring the parliament into disrepute. . . . but it was funny!  nice end to the day.

    60. Jingly Jangly says:

      Rod Mac, The 4 billion is being cut because they will scrap the Barnet Formula there is an additional 2.5 Billions cuts as part of the austerity package!!!!
      That’s over a ¬†20% cut on our budget, doesn’t matter who is in power at Holyrood your talking part privatisation of the NHS, Tuition fees for further education, no bus passes for pensioners, no free personal care, no free prescriptions and thousands of jobs going.
      Also remember Labour are talking about bypassing Holyrood for funding, so possible that the SG will be scrapped as well.
      If we vote no then we are too stupid!!!!

    61. Eco_Exile says:

      May I remind you all – ¬†that’s not the point.

    62. twenty14 says:

      Stv will have to take a slightly longer break to clear up the bloodbath after this debate. Mr Carmichael get yer coat – yer leavin

    63. macdoc says:

      Sturgeon absolutely destroyed him there. I almost felt sorry for him until how I realised he is working against Scotland’s interests and is spreading fear and misinformation to the voters to create a sense of uncertainty.¬†
      I would give Sturgeon 8/10, I do think she should try and slow down slightly and not be so jumpy as I do think a number of people will find her an irritant and too mouthy. But she asked great questions, gt no answers. Just try and lighten it a wee bit you had him skewered. 

    64. Molly says:

      Regarding Labour representatives, have Labour (in Scotland) since Devolution ever inspired you to get off the settee and get out there and march for something you believe would benefit all in Scotland?
      As you watched millionaire Anas Sarwar MP ask millionaire David Cameron PM to agree with him did you feel that’s the people who speak for me?
      when you see Johann Lamont do you think, must stop to hear what she aspires to for Scotland? 
      Maybe because for years Labour have not tried to engage with all of Scotland but relied on their core vote , we have ended up represented by people who (pay attention A Carmichael) who are not on top of their brief , like the MSP above.
      Either incredibly insular or just contemptuous to the electorate in Scotland.

    65. Dave McEwan Hill says:

      No. It’s a simple process of events. If you are wrong and have no cause it follows that you cannot have good representatives and it is impossible to produce good leaders.

    66. Doug Daniel says:

      Oh my, that genuinely made my jaw drop.
      The white paper has really got them rattled, hasn’t it? It’s like someone’s thrown a hand grenade into the mixer. I’ve never seen so many politicians so blatantly panicking at the same time. Labour are fucked. Westminster is fucked. They know they’re not in control of this any more. It’s ours to win or lose.

    67. Alastair Naughton says:

      Even better than “how is the oil fund going to be funded?”

    68. scotchwoman says:

      That was women against boys…. greetin’ wee bully boys….
      Nicola won becauses she believes what she says is true. Carmichael lost because he didn’t understand the lines he learnt. Also she’s simply brighter and more capable.

    69. Alastair Naughton says:

      Him and Katie Hopkins: a perfect match! Both as ignorant as each other. Maybe they should go on a date! 

    70. mealer says:

      300 years of brainwashing the Scots.Every newspaper and broadcaster on their side and playing an active role in their campaign.But the NO camp still cant get 50% in opinion polls.

    71. john king says:

      Will somebody tak that bliddy chainsaw aff her,
      and tak that leather mask aff,
      yer scarin the weans. ūüôā

    72. john king says:

      Anas Sarwar
      DAVID CAMERON responded to my question ,
      Oh I think i’m going to faint¬†
      I wonder if he knows my name?

    73. john king says:

      Maybe after pointing out to Jenny Marra that there was NO democratic (in a modern sense) vote to join the union,
      she could tell us why in 1707 the population of Scotland was 1 million and England’s population was just 5 times bigger at surprise surprise 5 million,
      today Scotland’s population is just a few thousand larger than that of England’s 1707 at 5.2 million while England is 52 million ,if Scotland had grown at an average rate since 1707 the population would have been 10 to 12 million,

    74. heraldnomore says:

      Definitely another draw.
      What a bruiser.
      And that Alastair’s no bad either – more, more , more

    75. Thomas William Dunlop says:

      Shurely a contender for the Foulkes “The Nats dae-in it on purpose” award
      Also maebe he will get a spot on the TV program “Shameless”

    76. Ken500 says:

      1707 Scotland’s population was 25% of the rest of the UK. Today it is 9%.

      Scotland population would be 15million.

      Scotland has been depopulated by Westminster centralise economic policies. The clearances onwards. Scotland has a 40million diasporia. Thatcher scorch earth policies. The Gov of the BoE ”unemployment in the North is worth jobs in Lonon S/E’.

      It is only since Devolution that Scotland population has increased.

      Re childcare. The Labour/Unionists put £1.3Billion back to Westminster during the last ten years.

      The Spanish Question. Unionists going round and round in circles. The UK gov could just ask the EU.

      Scotland is not a region. Catalonia is a Province. The Spanish administration have stated, ‘ The Referendum is an internal UK matter’. ‘It is entirely different’. Etc

      The EU Parliament have applauded the suggested, continued Scottish membership.

      The US etc supports Scottish membership of the EU and NATO and doesn’t want to continue the Trident expense.

    77. Heather McLean says:

      ” in 1707 the population of Scotland was 1 million”
      Exactl! I wonder if she could also ¬†tell us how many of the 1 million were actually enitled to vote in 1707? A handful I’ll wager or as Robert Burns put it ” A parcel O rougues”!

    78. john king says:

      Rona will ye tell her?
      Ha ha ha ha ha 
      here’s a wee song fur ye tae calm ye doon ali

      Here’s auld coulter comin’ roon, 
      wi a basket on his croon. 
      Roon an’ roon aboot the toon, 
      sellin’ Coulter’s candy. 

      Ally bally, ally bally bee. 
      Sittin’ on yer mammy’s knee. 
      Greetin’ for a wee bawbee. 
      Tae buy some Coulter’s candy 

      Livin’s very hard the noo. 
      Faither’s signin’ on the broo. 
      But mammy’s got a penny for you, 
      tae buy some coulters candy. 

      Here’s a penny, my bonnie wee lamb. 
      Doon the road, as fast as ye can. 
      Tak’ yer pennies tae Coulter’s van, 
      tae buy some Coulter’s candy. 

      Puir wee soul, lookin’ awfu’ thin. 
      Just a rickle o’ bones an‚Äô skin.¬†
      Now yere gettin’ a double chin, 
      wi’ sookin Coulter’s candy. 

      Noo tak ma hankie an dry yer eyes ūüėČ

    79. john king says:

      Heather McLean  says
      “I wonder if she could also ¬†tell us how many of the 1 million were actually enitled to vote in 1707? A handful I‚Äôll wager or as Robert Burns put it ‚ÄĚ A parcel O rougues‚ÄĚ!
      ¬† I think you’ll find the “parcel o rouges” amounted to 300

    80. ronnie andeson says:

      Rev I look forward to a story from you following those vids,are you tyring,or is Mr Kelly & co makeing you redundent, Naw you couldnt make any story to follow that vid,first they ,laugh at you then, they laugh, at you ,I missed that section ,I now howling with laughter

    81. Luigi says:

      Aye, Labour certainly set up Holyrood as a big, Scotlandshire council and filled it with low IQ councillors.  The problem is they are now up against serious politicians. 
      You and your chums are way out of your depth, Mr Kelly.

    82. Caroline says:

      @Brotyboy – Yes, let us hope, fervently, that the electorate’s minds will become focussed on quality when next asked to choose their representatives for our one-and-only national debating chamber.

    83. ronnie andeson says:

      Am pickin the next up, Stewart Hosie , Alister Dangling, bring it on,what say you guys,gals, am gone fur a game of ten pin STRIKE , any body know the words of 10 GREEN BOTTLERS ++++

    84. john king says:

      The wife gently pointed out my sojourn to Govan was not 1974 but 1979, ehs memory is no whit it wis poor dear

    85. Big Drone says:

      “That’s not the point!¬† …………………….God help us all if this is an example of what could be responsible for governing Scotland.¬† How I wish die-hard SLAB voters would look and listen to what is going on with, and in ¬†their party.. The plot has been lost!¬† The above emphasises this.¬† Get back to traditional Labour values and when you find them again remember the bits that tell you that Kier Hardie was all for Scottish Independence and it was part of your raison d’etre!

    86. Roger Terrett says:

      Mr Kelly appeared to have enjoyed a good lunch; could hardly keep his eyes open.

    87. Brian Hill says:

      Could this be a future leader of the Labour Party in Scotland – indeed, a future First Minister?
      In a word – NO!!
      O/T Is Mr Carmichael out of intensive care? I understand he was run over last night.

    88. Albert Herring says:

      I wonder if she could also  tell us how many of the 1 million were actually enitled to vote in 1707? 
      There actually was a (small, propertied) Scottish electorate in 1707, but they weren’t consulted, as they would have voted against union.

    89. Compton Arthur says:

      Westminster has as many plonkers as  Holyrood but the are not shown on TV as they are just as stupid as this object you have been watching . The object   that you have seen shows what depth that labour have sunk to and the rest of the opposition are not one bit better  but I  will draw a line and say that hopefully they cannot sink any lower .The answer Vote Yes to clear up the mess

    90. Clare Gallagher says:

      What a pure, and unadulterated fud this man is! Can’t say too much more than that!¬†

    91. louis.b.argyll says:

      Wings doesn’t need to soar very high to be above this primitive Labour bloody-minded-ness.

      Like the Tories..THEY HAVE NO POLICIES, except..

      ‘..look, we’ve found some figures that we can twist to make a pedantic point..’

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