The world's most-read Scottish politics website

Wings Over Scotland


Standing on one leg

Posted on December 13, 2012 by

The office is the coldest room in my house. Facing north it doesn't get a lot of sunlight, and the radiator is directly underneath the window, so much of what heat it generates disappears outside immediately. So I have a little halogen heater to keep the place cosy in winter, which also gives off a bright and pleasant firesidey glow and saves you having to turn the light on then wait 45 minutes for the useless "energy-saving" piece of shit to actually reach some sort of vaguely worthwhile level of illumination.

(Never mind about the Iraq war – I'd put Tony fucking Blair in prison for the rest of his life just for robbing us of proper lightbulbs, the wanker.)

The heater has three replaceable halogen elements. This is the process for replacing one of them (click to see the whole thing):

I have two questions for the manufacturers.

1. Are you SURE there isn't some further level of disassembly I could have to go to in order to put a new bulb in? Perhaps I could have to melt the plastic down to a liquid and then re-form it around some sort of mould made out of the polystyrene packaging, or take the whole fucking thing down to the Large Hadron Collider and have them bombard it with electrons at close to the speed of light until there was a decent-sized hole in the front panel that one could insert the replacement bulb into.

2. What are you, fucking STUPID OR SOMETHING, OR WHAT?

2(a). Or just CUNTS?

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

8 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Ian

Just a wee FYI if you're having trouble, buy a new energy saving bulb. The old ones were pretty bad while new ones are up to full brightness in a few seconds. I have new ones all over my house apart from one or two "legacy" ones and the difference is marked.

Andrew

What brand are you using Ian? 

Captain Stylish

Consider upgrading to LED bulbs. Although pricey they last forever and come on instantly and have far better light quality than energy savers. I have a couple of these and they are bloody marvellous. NB: Go for warm white unless you are a sadist who likes the colour of hospital waiting rooms.. 
link to simplyled.co.uk

Ian

Andrew:
Our Phillips ones are the best, I can provide a negative recommendation in that it is our Ikea ones take ages to get to full brightness 🙂 
LED lights are really neat, but I'm waiting till the cost reduces a wee bit as I have 6 incandescents in my kitchen so replacing all of those would cost a fortune at the moment.

Andrew

The thing that gets me about these energy bulbs is that, if memory serves me correctly, they are meant to last 40 million hours, right? I'm lucky to get through 6 months on one of them. Which makes me reluctant to splash out on them. Bah. 

Ian Osborne

Go for white-light energy saving bulbs. You can get bayonet-fitting versions from Homebase, but for our living room we needed small screw fittings, so ordered online from Germany. It's amazing what a difference white light makes. The whole room is more cheerful.

Archie

Best part about energy saving bulbs? They release dangerous mercury fumes (etc.) if you crack them and also present a fire hazard thanks to the electronic gubbins in the base. I've heard of them blowing and burning. I know someone who has had it happen twice.
 
Bet you love them even more now. 🙁
 
I ended up swapping to halogen lights as the nearest equivalent. It is bright. Gives off a nice glow and isn't as cold or sharp as the LEDs. Bring back proper bulbs, I say.


  • About

    Wings Over Scotland is a (mainly) Scottish political media digest and monitor, which also offers its own commentary. (More)

    Stats: 6,670 Posts, 1,202,532 Comments

  • Recent Posts

  • Archives

  • Categories

  • Tags

  • Recent Comments

    • 100%Yes on The Long Unravelling: “How long have we been telling people the SNP will never delivery Independence for me its been since 2015. What…Nov 19, 09:04
    • robertkknight on The Long Unravelling: “The baby, what’s left of it, floats face down in a tub of bin juice and is beyond saving. The…Nov 19, 09:02
    • 100%Yes on The Long Unravelling: “If you banking on a Holyrood election bringing Independence then you’re a dreamer, no offense. I’m afraid the route to…Nov 19, 08:54
    • Captain Caveman on The Long Unravelling: “The next few months are going to be seriously hilarious (Cesaire) I’ve waited (Fanon) a long time for this lol.…Nov 19, 08:36
    • Muscleguy on The Way Forward: “I think we had best leave that one to the Scandis. We are not inviting them to be overlords are…Nov 19, 07:43
    • DavidT on The Way Forward: “During the recent US presidential election, I read or heard Reform UK say that the UK is poorer than the…Nov 19, 07:32
    • Robert Louis on The Long Unravelling: “This is all very sad. But those who seek independence really, really need to wake up to the harsh reality…Nov 19, 06:58
    • Hatey McHateface on The Way Forward: “Sae there are nae “Unionist viewpoints” oan here? Michty, ah’m Confused noo!Nov 19, 06:38
    • Robert Hughes on The Way Forward: “You’re just full of assumptions , aren’t you , A.A . In my case , apart from a year in…Nov 19, 05:39
    • twathater on The Way Forward: “According to Andrew Abel we are all “I generally avoid the Wings comment section, as I get enough Unionist viewpoints…Nov 19, 03:25
    • twathater on The Long Unravelling: “As I commented on the last 2 posts SURELY there must be someone on the redundancy list that is ENRAGED…Nov 19, 03:10
    • thothScot on The Long Unravelling: “I really like the drumming kittens, but can’t donate to them playing Wee Frankie’s favourite hits. Dilemma!Nov 19, 01:57
    • BLMac on The Way Forward: “It was the weight of votes from EU citizens and English born voters that swung the referendum, not the Scots…Nov 19, 01:13
    • PhilM on The Long Unravelling: “I spotted a typo in that photo of John Swinney…it should read FRO SCOTLAND. Honestly…you just can’t get the staff…Nov 19, 01:04
    • Cynicus on The Long Unravelling: ““Apologies Operation Broadfoot” ========= I think our host will agree you need not apologise. It is as easy a mistake…Nov 19, 00:33
    • G m on The Long Unravelling: “It is not the end of the SNP I will cheer its the arrest, trial and imprisonment of those who…Nov 19, 00:05
    • George Ferguson on The Long Unravelling: “Apologies Operation Broadfoot. There is so many Operations I can’t keep up with them. Let’s take a standard fraud case…Nov 18, 23:20
    • George Ferguson on The Long Unravelling: “We have got Operation Koper, Operation Branchform, Operation Branchfoot and Operation Perjury to go. A penny for the lot.Nov 18, 22:54
    • Young Lochinvar on The Way Forward: “Well said!Nov 18, 22:53
    • Robert Matthews on The Way Forward: “Guillaume Faye – The Colonization of Europe it seems has influenced your theories.Nov 18, 22:40
    • robertkknight on The Long Unravelling: “Bring a tear to a glass eye, so it would. Fast forward 10 years to Sturgeon, having been released after…Nov 18, 21:51
    • Tommo on The Long Unravelling: “No- I fancy that you are ‘disappointed’- it is they who are gutted. I’m filling up myself…!Nov 18, 21:48
    • Robert Hughes on The Long Unravelling: “Agreed . Theoretically , the SNP could be saved ; but there’s no-one within it that could/would initiate the radical…Nov 18, 21:45
    • Zander Tait on The Long Unravelling: “If a summit is to be forthcoming DR, then the SNP should be left to dwell in the caves just…Nov 18, 21:32
    • Dumbarton Rock on The Long Unravelling: “Moves are afoot for an Independence summit. Look out for news of it – coming soon.Nov 18, 21:17
    • Daisy Walker on The Long Unravelling: “I remember in 2015 the chairman of my local SNP Branch boasting about how fiscally able ‘honest’ John was due…Nov 18, 21:01
    • Corrado Mella on The Long Unravelling: “Told you so, way before the last GE. Anyone who’s been involved in a branch knows how disorganised first, draconian…Nov 18, 20:59
    • Andrew Abel on The Way Forward: “You mean the rich billionaires that the author of this piece would have us vote for?Nov 18, 20:54
    • Andrew Abel on The Way Forward: “I generally avoid the Wings comment section, as I get enough Unionist viewpoints from the actual yoons, but some of…Nov 18, 20:53
    • Alf Baird on The Way Forward: “The ethnic cleansing of Scots seems to be an ongoing theme, albeit a common feature with loss of sovereignty, also…Nov 18, 20:51
  • A tall tale



↑ Top
114
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x