The world's most-read Scottish politics website

Wings Over Scotland


Standing on one leg

Posted on December 13, 2012 by

The office is the coldest room in my house. Facing north it doesn't get a lot of sunlight, and the radiator is directly underneath the window, so much of what heat it generates disappears outside immediately. So I have a little halogen heater to keep the place cosy in winter, which also gives off a bright and pleasant firesidey glow and saves you having to turn the light on then wait 45 minutes for the useless "energy-saving" piece of shit to actually reach some sort of vaguely worthwhile level of illumination.

(Never mind about the Iraq war – I'd put Tony fucking Blair in prison for the rest of his life just for robbing us of proper lightbulbs, the wanker.)

The heater has three replaceable halogen elements. This is the process for replacing one of them (click to see the whole thing):

I have two questions for the manufacturers.

1. Are you SURE there isn't some further level of disassembly I could have to go to in order to put a new bulb in? Perhaps I could have to melt the plastic down to a liquid and then re-form it around some sort of mould made out of the polystyrene packaging, or take the whole fucking thing down to the Large Hadron Collider and have them bombard it with electrons at close to the speed of light until there was a decent-sized hole in the front panel that one could insert the replacement bulb into.

2. What are you, fucking STUPID OR SOMETHING, OR WHAT?

2(a). Or just CUNTS?

0 to “Standing on one leg”

  1. Ian says:

    Just a wee FYI if you're having trouble, buy a new energy saving bulb. The old ones were pretty bad while new ones are up to full brightness in a few seconds. I have new ones all over my house apart from one or two "legacy" ones and the difference is marked.

    Reply
  2. Andrew says:

    What brand are you using Ian? 

    Reply
  3. Captain Stylish says:

    Consider upgrading to LED bulbs. Although pricey they last forever and come on instantly and have far better light quality than energy savers. I have a couple of these and they are bloody marvellous. NB: Go for warm white unless you are a sadist who likes the colour of hospital waiting rooms.. 
    link to simplyled.co.uk

    Reply
    • Rev. Stuart Campbell says:

      I like LED light, but 60w-equivalents can fuck off. 100w or bust.

      Reply
  4. Ian says:

    Andrew:
    Our Phillips ones are the best, I can provide a negative recommendation in that it is our Ikea ones take ages to get to full brightness 🙂 
    LED lights are really neat, but I'm waiting till the cost reduces a wee bit as I have 6 incandescents in my kitchen so replacing all of those would cost a fortune at the moment.

    Reply
    • Andrew says:

      The thing that gets me about these energy bulbs is that, if memory serves me correctly, they are meant to last 40 million hours, right? I'm lucky to get through 6 months on one of them. Which makes me reluctant to splash out on them. Bah. 

      Reply
  5. Ian Osborne says:

    Go for white-light energy saving bulbs. You can get bayonet-fitting versions from Homebase, but for our living room we needed small screw fittings, so ordered online from Germany. It's amazing what a difference white light makes. The whole room is more cheerful.

    Reply
  6. Archie says:

    Best part about energy saving bulbs? They release dangerous mercury fumes (etc.) if you crack them and also present a fire hazard thanks to the electronic gubbins in the base. I've heard of them blowing and burning. I know someone who has had it happen twice.
     
    Bet you love them even more now. 🙁
     
    I ended up swapping to halogen lights as the nearest equivalent. It is bright. Gives off a nice glow and isn't as cold or sharp as the LEDs. Bring back proper bulbs, I say.

    Reply


Comment - please read this page for comment rules. HTML tags like <i> and <b> are permitted. Use paragraph breaks in long comments. DO NOT SIGN YOUR COMMENTS, either with a name or a slogan. If your comment does not appear immediately, DO NOT REPOST IT. Ignore these rules and I WILL KILL YOU WITH HAMMERS.


  • About

    Wings Over Scotland is a thing that exists.

    Stats: 6,894 Posts, 1,239,400 Comments

  • Recent Posts

  • Archives

  • Categories

  • Tags

  • Recent Comments

    • Alf Baird on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “A colonized people are ‘bystanders’in all regards, including when it comes to appointing a meritocratic elite from elsewhere to lead…Apr 12, 15:16
    • Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “*under. I dunno why the gremlins decided to change that to understandable.Apr 12, 14:05
    • Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Yes James. Scotland has zero control over immigration. That’s understandable the control of the UK government along with all the…Apr 12, 13:58
    • Mark Beggan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Scottish immigration?Apr 12, 13:47
    • Geri on Not So Octopus: ““You’re deluded enough to think that the opinion of one KC is somehow conclusive or some slam dunk argument that…Apr 12, 12:49
    • James on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “English immigration?Apr 12, 12:33
    • James on Not So Octopus: “Warmongering unionist agent; “…I DO actually represent mainstream opinion…” Big LOLZ. Distract, divide, derail. Rinse & repeat.Apr 12, 12:31
    • Cynicus on Not So Octopus: “Andy Ellis says: 12 April, 2026 at 9:58 am “@Geri passim Flag shaggers are all alike” ========== Isn’t the same…Apr 12, 11:55
    • Cynicus on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Hats off to Rev. Stu and to “ No LGBT YS in Schools” The ludicrous title, “Rt Hon. Lord Barony…Apr 12, 10:52
    • joe on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “is this Tim on a salaried position , if so who’s bank account is it going to .Apr 12, 10:34
    • joe on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “is this Tim on a salaried position , if so who’s bank account is it going to .Apr 12, 10:34
    • Andy Ellis on Not So Octopus: “@Geri passim You’re deluded enough to think that the opinion of one KC is somehow conclusive or some slam dunk…Apr 12, 09:58
    • Bilbo on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “It reminds me of the current discussions on tech websites about the proposed change to add age verification checks on…Apr 12, 09:31
    • Bilbo on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “O/T I see that immigration is going to be part of the debate in the forthcoming Holyrood elections: https://archive.is/D4QIZ This…Apr 12, 09:22
    • Sven on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Bilbo @ 08.36. Possibly one with his own reasons to remain unidentified ? Or am I being overly sceptical in…Apr 12, 09:17
    • Captain Caveman on Not So Octopus: “…. Jeezo. Maybe lay off the meths, Rambo.Apr 12, 08:38
    • Bilbo on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “I’m sure it is Gen Z/Reddit thing to make AI generated images of yourself but what man would disguise their…Apr 12, 08:36
    • Young Lochinvar on Not So Octopus: “Well Geri If Pastor Faggat was one of the founding fathers then he’s certainly developed a disturbing hate complex of…Apr 12, 04:47
    • Geri on Not So Octopus: “He said he was one of the co-founders of Alba.Apr 12, 02:15
    • Young Lochinvar on Not So Octopus: “Geri Pastor Faggat was rejected? Gaun! Spread the news! It’ll help ignoring/ putting in context Pastor Faggats sermons in future..Apr 12, 01:24
    • Geri on Not So Octopus: ““Arguing with yoons in a “domestic setting” is pissing in the wind & so is domestic elections.” Forgot to add,…Apr 11, 23:59
    • Geri on Not So Octopus: “He’s just projecting again… “but when it comes to offering any viable alternative come up empty.” People have came up…Apr 11, 23:12
    • Geri on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “That sounds just like Eppy Island. Allegedly, they liked to hunt live bait no one would miss. Then it’d be…Apr 11, 22:31
    • Mark Beggan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Are you upset about something?Apr 11, 22:13
    • Young Lochinvar on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Beggars As the old nursery story goes: “My my grandmother what an active imagination you have there”.. Old boy.. Or;…Apr 11, 21:54
    • Young Lochinvar on Not So Octopus: “*Special* Captain Caveman Interview – undertaken without an internet connected device. Interviewer; Wilma Flintstone, welcome. Captain Caveman; Mate, where’s moi…Apr 11, 19:28
    • Mark Beggan on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Free drugs and empty prisons. Homosexual drag artists at the mosque. What could possibly go wrong.Apr 11, 19:22
    • TURABDIN on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Has he facemorphed on a TikTok app?Apr 11, 18:54
    • George Ferguson on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “Well the Masters is on so this is par for the course for the Scottish Government. Well done Stu another…Apr 11, 18:32
    • BroughtyBoy on Do You Believe In The Westwood?: “I see the ‘Our People’s page has been taken down Stu… you’re on to something here!Apr 11, 17:28
  • A tall tale



↑ Top