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Art imitates life

Posted on April 01, 2014 by

This is the Guardian’s elaborate, deliberately-absurd April Fool story:

guardianfool

Ha ha! Good one!

And this was the Scottish Sun six weeks ago:

rightmare

(Quotes also reported in the Telegraph.)

Turns out you really CAN’T make this stuff up.

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    1. 01 04 14 19:51

      Laughing all the way to the bank | Fairfurth

    2. 16 08 14 23:24

      Laughing all the way to the bank | OWEN JOHN

    3. 19 09 14 19:53

      Laughing all the way to the bank » OWEN JOHN

    4. 04 01 15 21:45

      Laughing all the way to the bank - fairfurth

    94 to “Art imitates life”

    1. Feil Gype says:

      It seems Scotlands independence is the butt of all April fools jokes today in the newspapers….shows how important they see us. Fucktards.

    2. Lee Rogers says:

      To facilitate the changeover, in 2017 all commercial traffic will be first to change on April 1, followed by public transport on May 1, and private vehicles on June 1.

    3. Desimond says:

      Thats funny.
      Andy Burnham wants to see just one UK NHS removing the separate Scottish NHS…that is NOT funny.

    4. Gillie says:

      Feil Gype: You are correct on that one. There is an anti-Scottish theme in the English news media today.

    5. Grouse Beater says:

      I repeat:

      What we see is a powerful nation showing how it treats “inferior” peoples. And it shows the press to be less than neutral in the matter of Scotland gaining genuine democracy.

      I just respond so well to the guy who pokes you in the eye and then says, “Can’t you take a joke?”

      The real April 1st joke is how Westminster is trying to depict the sale of the Royal Mail at a huge loss to the public purse as a “great success.”

    6. Gavin Barrie (Jammach) says:

      @Feil Gype – oh I dunno, I’m not offended by it, I took it as more a sign that they have woken up to how important it is. It also is a wonderful foil to compare to previous scare stories to show how ridiculous #ProjectFear has been and to further neuter it in the eyes of the public at large.

    7. Helena Brown says:

      We put Sky News off this morning early, not that this is anything unusual these days. Telegraph and the Alex Salmond Coin. Funny how the English like to call other racist but are the most racist of the lot. I have yet to hear a good word about any of their neighbours from them and that includes a good proportion of the Independent ones.

    8. Jimbo says:

      They’ve been practising April fools stories for months now, from making Faslane sovereign English territory to no currency sharing, and this is the best they can come up with on the day?

      Pathetic!

    9. annie says:

      Well, as my mother used to say, they’ll be laughing on the other side of their face, come September 18th.

    10. Rev. Stuart Campbell says:

      Yeah, let’s not be po-faced and prickly. I reckon they’ve just been looking at the poll trends and realised this is their last chance to do an April Fool about Scotland…

    11. SquareHaggis says:

      This is great news!
      I’ll finally be able to use my left-hand drive without fear or favour.
      Whoohoo, I feel European!

    12. Bigbricks says:

      Andy Burnham has previous form on this, as he was quoted in an interview in Holyrood Magazine (September 2013) saying the same thing.

      Even today, you couldn’t in your wildest dreams hope that someone from BT would support the former Barrhead Travel CEO, and then Jim Murphy does it. Is there a Propagandist of the Year Award we can enter him into? Does the man have any concept of fairness?

      BT supporters are going to be mighty confused today, as they’ve no longer got any reference point which would allow them to distinguish between “the truth” and April Fool’s Day stories.

    13. Harry says:

      I see Mike Read up to his usual on Sky News paper review this morning. On the April Fool Alex Salmond coin, he couldn’t resist another snide dig, “He won’t know what to do if he wins the vote, he’ll have to govern the country”. Keep it up Mike, I’m sure you’re recruiting more to the goodies.

    14. bookie from hell says:

      this is nae joke–were screwed

      benedict brogan -telegraph

      Let’s hope the Scots have a sense of humour. The Guardian, Mail and Telegraph have all opted for April Fool’s jokes on the theme of independence. The gags are quite good. We’ve got the design for the new Scottish pound coin, with Alex Salmond’s profile, and not the Queen’s, on one side. The Mail has the secret plans for a new British flag, minus the blue. And the Guardian details how Scotland will switch to driving on the right, with ingenious devices for swapping from one side to the other at the border. It’s all gentle, harmless fun, isn’t it?
      But here’s the problem. The truth is distinctly unfunny. On the front of the FT there’s the latest on the growing tensions between the centre and Alistair Darling: “No10 scotches Darling on pound vote”. This is the fall out from yesterday’s Today programme confusion when the former Chancellor appeared to suggest there should be a referendum in the rest of the UK on a currency union with Scotland. “I don’t know what process he was going through,” a Downing Street source says. Inside the FT develops the theme with “Policy rifts rock No campaign in Scotland vote”, and then hammers it with a leader: “Mixed messages on Scotland’s future – The unionists need to re-energise their campaign”. The FT has been leading the English pack on the Scotland debate, but even if we aim off for its enthusiasm, this is grim reading.
      All this highlights two issues: the no campaign is in difficulty – polls show the yes vote increasing – and England is indifferent. Mr Cameron’s appeal for those of us who live south of the border to weigh in and fight for the Union has patently not worked. Alan Cochrane’s cri de coeur yesterday made the point that it’s time for unionists to get the collective finger out was eloquent, but the scale of his task is underscored by today’s April Fool jokes. Yes, I know, it’s all a bit of fun, but we should save the laughs for after September 18. The English need to wake up to the fact that Scottish independence won’t help the Scots, and it will screw them too.

      http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/benedictbrogan/100265761/the-truth-about-scotland-is-no-april-fools/

    15. iheartscotland says:

      According to project fear, Lee Rogers will be in charge of traffic management in an independent Scotland

    16. Horacesaysyes says:

      I agree, we shouldn’t take umbridge at the April Fools.

      However, the worrying thing is how difficult it is tell which one’s are jokes and which are supposed to be serious!

    17. Gillie says:

      April 1st theme is certainly anti-Scottish in the English news media.

      Imagine if the Scottish news media featured anti-English April 1st stories.

    18. Macart says:

      Heh, you’ll note the lack of a comments section on that one in the Graun.

      They’re also still beating the dead currency horse on a few fronts too. Though I had to struggle between the driving switch or Clegg on currency piece for which one was the more likely April fool. 😀

    19. Murray McCallum says:

      Taking the mickey out of independence is just part of a balanced media diet.

      We have been treated to daily jokes by Chief Fool Alistair Darling and the ‘No’ campaign. Unfortunately for Flipper, his jokes seem to be him trying to make what he thinks are serious points.

    20. goldenayr says:

      The April Fools started early with the less than capable law professor from Glagow Uni on NS last night.
      In case you didn’t catch it,he suggested that England would be called UK and Scotland would be out.All well and good for any republicans out there but completely ignores the reality that England would not be the successor state.
      I’ve noticed a ramping up of this line from BT.They seem to have adopted it as a negotiating stance i.e.remove Scotland from any claim to UK assets and we have nothing to bargain with.

    21. CyberNiall says:

      Old Road signs are to be used in the building of the new Scottish naval fleet, with lollipop signs to be used as paddles, under new plans set out by Alex Salmond.

    22. faolie says:

      Jeez, a-greed. Let’s not portray ourselves as churlish teuchters who can’t take a joke. In any case, it’s hilarious that the April Fool jokes are about independence. It’s the gradual acceptance of something that’s going to happen.

      Think of the fun we can have next April poking fun at, oh, I don’t know, the anguish across the border about the dismantling of the UK 😉

    23. Lee Rogers says:

      Promotion!

    24. ronald alexander mcdonald says:

      Actually, they’re taking the piss out of the UK establishment, but they don’t realise it.

    25. Flower of Scotland says:

      @goldenayr

      Yes there’s been lots of small references to England+rest being the successor state! They probably think that if they keep saying it , it will come true!

      I think that these April fools are quite funny . We wouldn’t have been targeted if the subject hadn’t been important!

    26. heedtracker says:

      Gotcha! Guardian’s first teamGB rules britnat catch of the day April Fool. Now its funny:-)

      stupormundi PlazzyKopite

      01 April 2014 10:52am

      Indeed. Just when I was beginning to see the pro-Independence point of view, they come up with a suggestion that is utterly infantile (not to mention, needlessly costly) and suggests the motivation for their campaign is after all shallow, petty and even reckless, as I have long suspected. Pathetic.

    27. goldenayr says:

      Flower
      I like the fact they’re coming to terms with the reality.Also,I have to agree with an earlier comment,that it’s hard to tell if they’re April Fools or real BT press releases.

    28. Doug Daniel says:

      I think it’s great that there’s all these April Fools jokes about Scotland. It shows that it’s occupying their minds, which means they’re worried about it. And as Stu’s article shows, they’re also highlighting their own absurdity. Next time someone raises a daft scare story, we can point them at these stories and remind them…

      (Oh and I’m still totes voting No, you guys. Honest.)

    29. Papadox says:

      Andy Burnham wants control of NHS Scotland so he can drag it down to NHS England’s levels, or privatise it. Introduce prescription charges.

      Introduce fees for higher education as in England (£9000) per year.

      Robb Scotland of its wealth to pay for London’s benefit (HS2, London sewer renewal) and line their own pockets.

      Who would vote for that scam. Aye the better together snobs and the spivs from the big smoke who they hold in such esteem and awe. Are the no voters genuine believers in GB or are they just stupid, arrogant or both.

    30. caz-m says:

      Rev, this atni-Independence lot seem to be up for a laugh.

      Well can I suggest that some of the funds raised by us is used on getting a few million t-shirts printed off with the words,

      “Get Over It”

      To be worn by all YES supporters on 19th Sept. 2014.

      That would be a laugh.

      And I am not jokin.

    31. handclapping says:

      It may be an April Fool but it still insists that independence must be “given” the green light. When its boiled down like the chicken in a cockaleekie, the reason I’ll vote Yes is that we’ll tell them not them us.

    32. goldenayr says:

      heedtracker

      Brilliant!
      We can use this to discredit the whole no campaign.

      “UKOKs can’t tell the difference between an April Fools and a BT press release.”

    33. goldenayr says:

      caz-m

      I’ll buy one.

    34. CyberNiall says:

      @Doug Daniel

      I don’t know what I’m more disappointed in. Your sudden change to vote no or your use of the word “totes”.

      🙄

    35. Jamie Arriere says:

      @big_al

      That’s hilarious – particularly Alex Salmond sponsored by Tunnocks! But that has to be the worst photoshopping I’ve ever seen, as regards Nicola.

      None so far any more far-fetched than Project Fear.

    36. alex mckechnie says:

      Trucks should practice on Monday Wednesday and Friday with private cars on Tuesday and Thursday every time they cross the Forth Bridge they can use the new Salmon pound coin to pay roll on September 19th we can see they who the fools are VoteYes remember vote early, vote often ops sorry that Labour …………

    37. heedtracker says:

      @ goldenayr, it is a beaut! Fact is, England has a fantastic road and rail network that’s for ever expanding and guess who has to chip in “our fair share.” Meanwhile Scotland bumps along on ancient routes built by General Wade. Then they tell us we’re merely a region of slackers, drunks and bums on the make…

    38. The Man in the Jar says:

      Never mind next year we can have an Aprils fool gag about annexing everything above Hadrian’s Wall. See how they react then.

    39. TYRAN says:

      Here’s a new one.

      – “Kent set for influx of Scots if yes vote grants independence from Britain”

      http://www.kentonline.co.uk/dartford/news/county-prepares-for-tartan-army-15109/

    40. bookie from hell says:

      April fool joke next year will be

      We can still put DEVO + on ballet paper even thou vote was YES

    41. goldenayr says:

      heedtracker

      Not for much longer.I’ll be happy when roads no longer follow Wades plans,the glens are opened for rehabitation and the “Forts” are renamed.

    42. Macart says:

      I see they’ve opened comments on the Graun piece now. Some of them btl…
      … Oh dang. 😉

      Sometimes you don’t have the heart. 😀

    43. goldenayr says:

      TYRAN

      Kent?
      It’ll be the first time they ken’t onything then.

    44. You and My Comb says:

      One of the funniest I have seen so far

      http://handsacrosstheborder.co.uk/

    45. Doug Daniel says:

      “I don’t know what I’m more disappointed in. Your sudden change to vote no or your use of the word “totes”.”

      Used entirely ironically, I can assure you.

    46. jingly jangly says:

      Lee Rogers
      About thirty years ago I was speaking to a civil servant type guy who had recently retired from his role in an African country. He told me that in the sixties the country had decided to switch to driving on the right.

      During the government discussion about how this would be implemented one guy did suggest in all seriousness that they could phase in the project with lorries and busses starting a week before the private cars!!!

    47. Desimond says:

      @caz-m

      Can we have the words “Build a Wall” on the front of those T-Shirts 🙂

    48. msean says:

      Re Mr Salmond £1 coin- they have been making plans for the currency union then eh?lol,every programme from this morning onwards,very funny.My guess is if Scottish tv did this someone would be screaming “anti english racism” at the top of their voice.

      I know thats not funny,because we all know that would be the case.

    49. handclapping says:

      @Gillie

      Imagine if the Scottish news media featured anti-English April 1st stories.
      I refer you to the Rev’s subway advert, now what Scottish news media? Here online is the only Scottish news media now.

      O/T
      The 1st Royal Lancers, back from Germany, are to lay a First World War barbed wire entanglement on Offa’s Dyke as part of the 14-18 celebrations.

      Due to a radiation leak on a lorry off the Chunnel the HSE has declared Cheriton a prohibited area and the MoD are assisting in enforcement of the perimiter.

      Historic Britain are to appoint contractors to carry out repairs and rebuildings to Hadian’s Wall after fears that the recent change in the climate had adversely affected it

      Reports from Devonport say all of the Royal Navy’s attack submarines are deing prepared for active duty and warnings have been posted for sea areas Dover Straits, North Channel and the Irish Sea between Holyhead and Dublin

      The UK Government is expected to announce British independence by midday today.

    50. msean says:

      @you and my comb

      what happens in the parts where the wall doesn’t exist anymore? Just another BT unanswered question. 🙂

    51. sneddon says:

      faolie-” teuchters’ that’s the kind of word I’d expect a unionist to come out with. A derogatory term for folk from the highlands, c’mon man let’s not use the language of our opponents. My wee post kind of contradicts what I was going to say about agreeing with you and not taking the ‘April Fool’s stuff seriously as to be honest it’s a mark of how riled they are.

    52. You and My Comb says:

      @msean

      New employment project run by Atos successor is to rebuild Hadrians Wall

    53. peter macbeastie says:

      Faolie, I’m not offended by the usual media tripe, but this…

      ‘Jeez, a-greed. Let’s not portray ourselves as churlish teuchters who can’t take a joke.’

      …. gets right up my nose. Not wishing to particularly indulge in slanging matches, and not knowing where you are, but I trust if you think what you wrote is acceptable you won’t mind me referring to you as a nippy Weegie?

      We’re all Scottish. It is long past time OUR side packed in using the language of divide and rule that the unionists have used as one method to keep us quiet for centuries. Divided against ourselves we are infinitely less armed to deal with those who are the REAL problem.

    54. jingly jangly says:

      o/t Just read the excellent Arran Voice an online newspaper and guess who gets s mention

      “Scotland’s credit rating – very good, actually

      An item posted on the Rev. Stuart Campbell’s Wings Over Scotland site on February 27th, 2014 caught our attention.

      Contrary to the Chancellor’s threats and black warnings, the blog quoted evidence that Scotland is in rather good shape for an independent future. Standard & Poor’s, one of the world’s key ratings agencies, had remarked in its report on the country that, ‘Even excluding North Sea output and calculating per capita GDP only by looking at onshore income, Scotland would qualify for our highest economic assessment.’

      This was not, of course, reported by the national press. Are we surprised?”

      Now if we could get those at the printed Arran Banner (Which I don’t buy) to report some positive news about Scotland then I might start buying it again. We had Mr Swinney down at the weekend and I have been told the paper was complaining that potholes were being filled on his intended route so that he would have a smooth ride. The author went onto say that filling potholes should be proactive rather than reactive. Now the state of the Arran roads are a disgrace, however if you fill potholes in during the winter months, they only last a few days. I was thinking of writing to the Banner and saying that I have been trying to get hold of the Brahan Seer as he would be quite handy, being able to tell the future and all plus he has an abundant supply of tar, but his mobile is switched off.

    55. velofello says:

      @ Lee Rogers: reference your post of lane changeover,Just had a word with the Chief Exec of Strathclyde Passenger Transport – a consultancy in the offing for you. Seems they are having difficulty in plotting refiguring of the subway carriage direction following independence.

    56. Muscleguy says:

      @faolie

      How about that since the MoD will doubtless be dragging their heels over removing the warheads at Coulport we can run stories that to save them time we are going to build garden sheds along the border, lead lined on 3 sides to store them close to rUK to speed the process.

      Guess which direction the side that won’t be lead lined will face?

    57. goldenayr says:

      Breaking News
      Westminster have decided to dress up in period costume for the commencement of the “Great War” celebrations.
      Many orders have been placed,by unionist parties,for army uniforms.
      Unfortunately due to complete ignorance,or public school education.The uniforms ordered are German,complete with “Pickelhaubes”.Most Tories are already wearing them,though they,ve been told to remove their helmets in parliament.When asked what to do with them,as there is limited hat rack space nevermind helmet room in the cloakrooms.The reply from the harassed attendant was “Sit on them and we can both get a smile”.

    58. boglestone says:

      What makes today any different? It’s like Better Together are having an All Fool’s Year.

    59. Ellie says:

      Actually I see all this ‘humour’ as a good sign; they are nervous about the referendum now. For the first time it seems to have crossed a few minds in the south that Yes might actually win this. So they are attempting to laugh, but it is a nervous, high pitched and not quite sure laugh.

      Though the Guardian is priceless, I can’t quite work out whether it was a genuine blunder using a scare story actually used by the No lot or some very knowing irony……..on second thoughts definitely the former.

    60. Helena Brown says:

      Spent ten minutes on the Telegraph, boy I now need a bath. Sorry I should remember I am a member of an inferior race and merely bow and scrape.
      Sorry nae sense of humour when it is my country they are ripping in to.

    61. goldenayr says:

      You and My Comb says:
      @msean

      New employment project run by Atos successor is to rebuild Hadrians Wall

      Aye,what they never said was that the claimants are to be used as bricks.

    62. goldenayr says:

      You and My Comb says:
      @msean

      New employment project run by Atos successor is to rebuild Hadrians Wall

      Aye,what they never said was that the claimants are to be used as bricks.

    63. GrahamB says:

      Don’t worry folks we can be just as petty and racist as them come the World Cup, I’ve still got my ‘anyone but england’ t-shirt from the South Africa event four years ago.
      Totally O/T, saw Paul Sinclair going into a Glasgow West End pharmacy yesterday, now I remember who Prince Geordie reminds me of. Hope he was going for some diarrhoea medicine as he must be crapping himself about what rubbish he can get Stairheid to spout next and he’s been suffering from the verbal variety for years.

    64. goldenayr says:

      Helena
      Ten minutes?
      That’s a lifetime of hate and stupidity on there.Braver than me.

    65. ian foulds says:

      ‘Gillie says:

      1 April, 2014 at 10:10 am

      Feil Gype: You are correct on that one. There is an anti-Scottish theme in the English news media today.’

      Dear All – I know how you feel BUT we need to learn to smile wryly, keep quiet and focus 110% on getting a YES decision.

      Then, we have the high ground and who cares what others think and say about us – we are the masters of our and our future generations’ decisions and directions

    66. HandandShrimp says:

      I confess I chuckled over the Guardian’s April Fool not least because Better Together had already beat them to it (albeit not as a gag). Arguably they are taking the rip out of Project Fear rather than independence.

    67. galamcennalath says:

      Fair game today, April Fool’s day. However someone should explain to BT that this IS THE ONLY DAY you are supposed to release nonsense news stories.

    68. jamesmcgovern says:

      Maybe we could drive in the middle instead and be welcomed into the EU with open arms.

    69. Pin says:

      I thought that was quite funny. Kudos to the Guardian

    70. faolie says:

      @sneddon, @peter macbeastie

      Jings guys, sorry. Wee bit touchy this morning? I’ve always thought terms like this could be used if we were referring to ourselves in an ironic fashion. I’m not from Glasgow (I’m from Edinburgh dontchaknow) but if I were I wouldn’t care at all if a fellow Scot called me a weegie in this manner.

      But I apologise to you both, and to anyone else that was upset but didn’t comment 🙁

    71. Betty Boop says:

      @ Desimond 10:08

      Andy Burnham wants to see just one UK NHS removing the separate Scottish NHS…that is NOT funny

      That is one of the most worrying ideas I have heard so far. It is hard enough protecting NHS Scotland with the cuts in funding because of reductions in government spending for NHS England. The idea of Westminster getting their paws on our organisation is frankly frightening.

      Re April Fools. All I have seen in the media today are less than subtle efforts having a go at independence. First thing I saw on tv was a pound coin with Alex Salmond’s head on it and some utter tripe about driving on the right – didn’t pay any attention after that. None of it clever or funny.

      Not being over sensitive, just fed up with the arrogance and belittling – mind you, nothing new in over 300 years there.

    72. James Kay says:

      I have read most of the comments BTL on the Guardian piece. Several people have pointed out that Andy Burnham came up with the idea first. At least one comment links to this very article.

      What amazes me is that, as far as I can see, most other readers of the Guardian have not noticed this. Even though they have been told that a Project Fear spokesman spoke about this scenario last February, many of them still seem to think that this is an idea which only Alex Salmond, the SNP or cybernats could have dreamed up!

    73. Craig Brown says:

      Rev, see how Darling is getting approx £13k a pop for giving daft wee speeches to daft big banks etc, is that tax deductible for the companies holding the event.. meaning we are paying for it?

    74. Fiona says:

      Well James Kay, if you are a unionist intent on maintaining your belief that your side has a monopoly on reason and logic you are more or less bound to presume that, are you not?

      Remember that there would be no will to independence at all, if we were not all led by the nose by the spectacularly charismatic figure of Mr Salmond. It is particularly galling that he has that magic quality, in view of the fact that he is simultaneously obviously dishonest (lying to the people about CU and EU and whatever else he discusses); obviously physically repellent (wee fat eck; jowly eck); Obviously unprincipled (he doesn’t actually want independence: he is striving for devo); prepared to sell any pledge for a mess of pottage (CU for trident) and on and on.

      He is not like the nice unionist politicians and no campaigners at all: and the fact that he has this svengali hold over the scottish people proves they are innocent Trilbys abroad: not like those sophisticated unionist supporters, who would never fall for any nonsense at all

      (http://thosebigwords.forumcommunity.net/?t=49438783&p=344012581)

      (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-139703/Just-45-minutes-attack.html)

      So this story can’t have come from the no side, you see. Evidence be damned!

    75. fergie35 says:

      Does this mean we will get cheaper cars after Independence?
      Friend of mine went to John Clark in Aberdeen with the view of trading in for a new BMW. He was told if he leaves it too long, then he wont get half the money for his car if Scotland goes Independent!

    76. Seasick Dave says:

      I was working in Egypt last year and they drive in any lane they fancy, usually with their lights off.

    77. The Rough Bounds says:

      Re. the jokes about Scotland in the English Press and how we shouldn’t be so touchy? Anyone remember the following ‘jokes’ from the sixties?

      What do you call a Biafran with a tin helmet? A tack.

      A million Biafrans every day, pick up a tin of beans and say:
      ‘One to you, one to you, one to you…’

      For those of you who don’t remember or weren’t around at the time, Biafra is a Christian country within the huge Islamic state known as Nigeria. Biafra was fighting for its independence from Nigeria at the time, but the Nigerian government was so brutal in its determination to stop OIL RICH Biafra from getting its freedom that during Nigeria’s ‘retaliation’ around one million Biafrans starved to death.

      The Labour Government of Harold Wilson was in charge of Britain at the time and they disgracefully preferred Nigeria to Biafra.

      No-one knew anything about Biafra at the time and many still don’t. It is hard to believe that people found the death of a million people in Africa who were fighting for their freedom ‘funny’.

      Britain seems to have a rare genius of laughing at other cultures and their aspirations. During the Irish fight for independence the English newspapers were full of jokes about ‘thick Irishmen’. The Scottish Highlanders have often been treated in much the same way. (teuchter?)

      These April Fool ‘jokes’ about Scotland and the Scots are a lot more sinister than they appear at first. They are designed to portray us as objects of fun: poltroons who couldn’t be trusted to carry a cup of tea from one room to another: kilted clodhoppers who can only be laughed at and are not taken seriously.

      I was just a young boy in the sixties but it is to my eternal shame that I sniggered at those jokes about Biafran people starving.

      For those of you who are interested, the Biafrans are still fighting for their independence, they still don’t have a voice and they are still being ignored by the British State.

    78. Seasick Dave says:

      Fergie

      I have just e-mailed Clarks to find out 🙂

    79. Andy-B says:

      Oh! dear this really is a pathetic attempt to scaremonger, and at the heart of this preposterous story, is a Labour health secertary, no surprise there then.

      You should create a page Rev, with the title, “They said it.” if only for posterity.

    80. Jim T says:

      @Seasick Dave 3.34pm

      You should try Sudan :-/

    81. I used this idea for one of those project fear trending topics last year. The thing is that almost every single scare story they publish is as ridiculous.

    82. EphemeralDeception says:

      @The Rough Bounds.

      I hear what you are saying but we are in a position of strength and can laugh along while hopefully getting the last laugh.

      However the UK was not directly responsible for other States actions, even though the UK talks a mountain of utter pish about being a force for good in the world at large.

      Personally I am much more concerned about the UK as a rogue State and its ethnic cleansing of UK subjects in Diego Garcia and extraordinary rendition and various other nefarious acts in recent years. We in Scotland are guilty by association.

      The High court ruled against the UK Gov and then then again on appeal. UK Gov actions were judged as ‘repugnant’.

      All overruled by The House of Lords and the Queen via an order in Council.

      None of this kind of thing: the kind of country and State we want to be has even come up in the referendum debate. Personally it is near the top of my list. How ugly the UK actually is, is not on the radar.

    83. dadsarmy says:

      The Irish of course have been the butt of jokes for decades and their defence has been to make their own jokes about themselves, but far better than the usual ones.

      The other thing people like to do is take off the accent which is funny because most end up with a Belfast accent talking about Dublin or Limerick. Anyway, I remember many years ago in a pub with a group of guys and an Irish guy, here in Scotland, and the rest were doing the usual Irish jokes and accents, and after a time the guy just turned to them and said “back home we shoot people like you”. That shut them up.

      Another time with people mocking the Irish his response was “In Ireland we got Independence in 1922 but you’re still letting the English walk all over you, do you have anything under your kilts?”.

      It’s not just the English that mock others.

    84. dadsarmy says:

      The Irish of course have been the butt of jokes for decades and their defence has been to make their own jokes about themselves, but far better than the usual ones.

      The other thing people like to do is take off the accent which is funny because most end up with a Belfast accent talking about Dublin or Limerick. Anyway, I remember many years ago in a pub with a group of guys and an Irish guy, here in Scotland, and the rest were doing the usual Irish jokes and accents, and after a time the guy just turned to them and said “back home we shoot people like you”. That shut them up.

      Another time with people mocking the Irish his response was “In Ireland we got Independence in 1922 but you’re still letting the English walk all over you, do you have anything under your kilts?”.

      It’s not just the English that mock others

    85. dadsarmy says:

      Sorry Rev, please ignore dupe waiting moderation – wrong email addy.

    86. john king says:

      Faolie says
      ” Let’s not portray ourselves as churlish teuchters who can’t take a joke.”

      I have a question
      what if you ARE a churlish teuchter who cant take a joke?

    87. john king says:

      caz-m says
      ““Get Over It”

      To be worn by all YES supporters on 19th Sept. 2014.

      That would be a laugh.

      And I am not jokin.”

      What about
      “Its not you ,its me!

      Naw only kidding it IS you” 🙂

    88. Craig says:

      The Rough Bounds,

      One of the things the Indians resented most during British rule was the British looking down upon them.

      The British, that is the English ruling classes, sneer at everyone outside their own circle. This includes a large proportion of their own race in their own country, let alone the Scots.

      The tragedy is that the working classes are so gullible, that they are easily aroused by patriotic fervour which only benefits their masters at their expense.

      There are also a few like these in Scotland, as Stuart says “for whom, if truth be told, we suspect both we and you are just a little bit too working-class and vulgar”.

    89. geeo says:

      I really wanted to get wound up by the april fool “jokes” today in the media, but i just cannot.

      Don’t get me wrong, they are clearly nothing to do with harmless humour, they are openly anti Scottish in nature.

      The reason I just cannot get all het up today is simply because it is an open goal for the next few months to reference all these fake stories to every stupid scare story still to come, it is now easier to ridicule these stories to come.

      Throw in the demolition of the no CU patter and suddenly we hit BT with a double whammy of telling them they are a bit late for april fool jokes and apart from that they are lying gits anyway.

      The unionists have gifted us a golden ticket just in time for the billboard campaign.

      “Scotland cannot use the £”.

      “Scotland cannot watch Dr Who”

      “Scotland will be driving on the right”

      “Alex Salmond will be on the Scottish currency”

      Which of these events(if any)will happen on april fools day ?

      Which of these events(if any)will happen on 19th september 2014?

      Vote YES for the right to decide what happens in Scotland EVERY DAY.

      Wee bit refinement needed, but you get the gist of it.

    90. geeo says:

      Sorry for duplication, damn phone slow as get oot..

    91. peter macbeastie says:

      Faolie; belatedly seen apology cheerfully accepted.

      It does gripe me when I see the seemingly standard allusions to anyone not from the central belt as some sort a hairy arsed humourless village idiot. I’ve been hearing it for a very, very long time and repetition has had something of a cumulative effect on me.

      So in that vein, I apologise for battering off like a wounded Highland bull; it’s not you really. We do need to be united, and comments which divide are not really helpful, but as you said I am sometimes a tad on the touchy side and earlier this week I was having what you might loosely term an interesting time… stress combined with annoyance = sense of humour failure.



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