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Tartan elephant ignored in room

Posted on June 29, 2013 by

There’s a rather odd opinion column by Des Clarke in the Daily Record today. Entitled “Let’s be proud Scots and get our own proper version of America’s Independence Day”, readers might reasonably assume it had something to do with, well, independence.

indyclarke

Instead, the 500-word piece talks about pretty much anything else. Des, a DJ for London-based radio network Capital FM, throws out an almost-complete bingo card of Scottish stereotypes – kilts, Jimmy hats, deep-frying, Buckfast, it’s all there – while bemoaning the lack of a Scottish national holiday like the one the Americans have every July 4th to celebrate winning their independence from the UK.

But impressively, he manages to make not a single reference, even obliquely, to the fact the Scotland is going to be actually voting on independence next year, which one might imagine would provide the perfect excuse for just such an annual shindig.

We’re not saying it’s sinister. It’s just a bit weird.

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70 to “Tartan elephant ignored in room”

  1. Restlessnative
    Ignored
    says:

    Absolute plamph of a man in an absolute joke of a paper. Wouldn’t line a litter tray with that rag.

  2. Hetty
    Ignored
    says:

    I suspect many folk down South won’t have a clue what he’s on about either. Though they will be familiar with the stereotypes therefore mentioned…it’s what the media present as Scottish in the South. We might as well be on planet zog to them!
    I often wonder just what the uk, ie England, has in terms of cultural interest except for the royals and big houses etc…nothing really.

  3. annie
    Ignored
    says:

    Read this earlier and about half way through thought who is writing this drivel and gave up – not worth the time it took to read it.

  4. balgayboy
    Ignored
    says:

    Quote: Clarke is a regular performer on the comedy circuit. Got that right at least.

  5. Robert Bryce
    Ignored
    says:

    I’m no literary master but even to the uneducated such as myself this article doesn’t know what it is or what it wants to be!

    On one hand we have someone who is yearning for an independence day where we can all wave our flag, party on and show our patriotism.

    On the other we have a piece that’s littered with the usual “cringe pish”.

    My hunch is that Mr Clarke will be logging on to read the comments and gauge the response before nailing his colours to the mast.

  6. Dee
    Ignored
    says:

    Annie, are you admitting you bought the Record?????  I order you to do the walk of shame. Go my child and may god have mercy on your soul..

  7. Shinty
    Ignored
    says:

    Makes you wonder what all these guys are going to do when Scotland becomes an independent country again.

  8. Doug
    Ignored
    says:

    This article is bizarre, semi-literate nonsense. But it still pales compared to the more dangerous pish spouted by ‘respectable’ journos like Gardham et al…

  9. Angus McPhee
    Ignored
    says:

    “But impressively, he manages to make not a single reference, even obliquely, to the fact the Scotland is going to be actually voting on independence next year”
    Rubbish – if that is exactly what the following line is.
    “So let’s be proud Scots and properly get our own version of the fourth of July.”
    And he’s managed to get it in the daily Record, the chap’s smarter than you think.

  10. balgayboy
    Ignored
    says:

    My take on Mr Clarke’s article is that he has no leaning or interest towards any outcome of the referendum campaign. His article is about himself and due to his lack of intelligence he using the good old stereotype of scottish cringe to promote his own imbecile mentality. Really not worth comment on as he will be in his own selfish world phalically excited with any response. That’s the beast.

  11. Angus McPhee
    Ignored
    says:

    could have sworn I hadn’t typed “if”

  12. Yesitis
    Ignored
    says:

    The fact Des Clarke and his Daily Record Labour-unionist cohorts completely ignore next year`s referendum is further proof that Scottish media want to bury independence as completely irrelevant and not what ‘most Scots’ want or are in the slightest bit interested in. Independence is fantasy and is being pushed as a lost cause. “It is over – nobody want it and the tartan Tories have lost. Get over it!”
     
    The polls are there to back up the impression the MSM is fostering. Never once will ‘their’ polls show support over 40%. They want the default setting to be No (as well as “Don`t be silly, of course it`s not going to happen”). They need it to be, so they construct the illusion, and here we are reading yet more anti-Scottish/anti-independence media bull-shit, ironically parading itself as a celebration of independence – USA stylee.

    It is nothing but mockery.

  13. The Man in the Jar
    Ignored
    says:

    “Des, a DJ on London-based Capital FM”
    What an insight.
    Haud me back!

  14. Embradon
    Ignored
    says:

    Wonder if the USA would have an Independence Day if it wasn’t errr… independent?

  15. SCED300
    Ignored
    says:

    I guess he has never heard of S Andrews Day, 30 November. There are moves to get that as a National Holiday.
    Or is he obliquely saying we should go for Independence?

  16. Seasick Dave
    Ignored
    says:

    Des Clarke admits he is jealous of America’s Fourth of July celebrations, particularly because they get a day off for the occasion.
     
    Bollocks to the oil and the freedom to make our own decisions, if only we had a day off.
     
    Come on, Des, we can all get that magic day if we all vote YES.

  17. annie
    Ignored
    says:

    Dee – absolutely not but I do check it out online now and again.

  18. Roddy Macdonald
    Ignored
    says:

    Talking of elephants, Edinburgh University has published the video of Prof Tom Devine’s lecture “In bed with an elephant: why has the Union survived for over three centuries?” and the subsequent panel discussion from last Saturday.  You can watch it here.

  19. balgayboy
    Ignored
    says:

    BTW our cousins “across the pond” like nothing better than having their sacrificial Englishman on the rotisserie spit on their 4th July Independence day. Let’s hope we in Scotland can enjoy a drink with our English friends after our Independence.
     

  20. Andy-B
    Ignored
    says:

    Also in the Daily Record, you have Gordon Brown bemoaning the MoD, who since the 1980’s knew of the high levels of radioactivity in Dalgety Bay, apparently over 800 contaminated aircraft were dumped there, SEPA says the MoD admits its failing but wants a sit down with SEPA to discuss it, what is their to discuss, the MoD need to get their finger out and clean Dalgety Bay up. Goodness, knowns what state Cape Wrath is now in, after the MoD bombing the heart out of it.

  21. scottish_skier
    Ignored
    says:

    Talking about independence days, we should maybe give a we congrats to the Seychelles (population 84,000) today. They left the bosom of Westminster in 1976.

  22. Barontorc
    Ignored
    says:

    Just had a look (O/T) at the Channel 4 documentary on the death (?) of Willie MacRae.
    Does it raise concerns?
     

  23. Andy-B
    Ignored
    says:

    @Dee, I sometime buy the Daily Record, I know silly me, but not all the columnists of the Record are unionists, Joan MacAlpine write,  good, independece themed articles, also John Niven, came out in his column in the Daily Record, and said he is voting for independence, after he received very bad abuse from down south, on Facebook or Twitter, I’d wager one or two more less obvious columnists will vote for independence, they just cant be seen to promote it though.

  24. annie
    Ignored
    says:

    Barontorc – apparently John Macleod has written an article in the daily mail about Willie MacRae today (tweeted by Andrew Picken) but I can’t find it – maybe you will have more luck.

  25. Shinty
    Ignored
    says:

    Barontorc says:     
     
    Just had a look (O/T) at the Channel 4 documentary on the death (?) of Willie MacRae.
    Does it raise concerns?
     
    Absolutely!

  26. Robert Bryce
    Ignored
    says:

    Andy-B says:
     

    Also in the Daily Record, you have Gordon Brown bemoaning the MoD, who since the 1980?s knew of the high levels of radioactivity in Dalgety Bay.

    More worrying for me is that I have heard rumours of high level radioactive waste being buried in old mine shafts near Croy (Next to Cumbernauld) in North Lanarkshire.

    I’m not sure what the validity of it is but their are mobile environmental monitoring stations dotted around the area?

    An FOI request has been placed with North Lanarkshire Council.

    Is Scotland the UK’s favoured radioactive dumping ground?
     
    Yet another Union dividend 🙂

  27. Juteman
    Ignored
    says:

    What about all the depleted uranium in the thousands of rounds that have hammered Cape Wrath over the years?

  28. Dcanmore
    Ignored
    says:

    @Juteman …
     
    … and the 4000 plus rounds of depleted uranium rounds fired off the coast of Galloway at Dundrennan too. Scottish soil has been abused for decades under Labour and the Tories for the sake of military games, or ‘prestige’ as Westminster would say.
     
    VOTE YES to stop Scotland being a radiation dump for Westminster!

  29. Angus McPhee
    Ignored
    says:

    I’m sorry but I’ve gone and read the article again more than once and don’t see how it can be interpreted as anything other than a pro indi statement, it’s clumsy, but surly it’s implicit that  in order to have a “proper version of…” you also have to have what it’s celebrating.

    Does that have to be spelt out?

  30. M4rkyboy
    Ignored
    says:

    Omg i wish i hadn’t read that.The cringe is so powerful it’s causing feedback.I am cringing at the level of cringe displayed.Is this your average proud Scot?

  31. Angus McPhee
    Ignored
    says:

    “On the other we have a piece that’s littered with the usual “cringe pish”. ”

    In reference to St Andrews Day/ Burns night and the like.

    In essence he’s saying ” the Scottish celebrations we have just now are full of ‘Cringe pish’ and he’s absolutely right.

  32. Angus McPhee
    Ignored
    says:

    So  my interpretation of the article seems to be at odds with most of the rest of you, here I’ve re-written it

    “Let’s have less of the anachronistic cringe pish we are used to ,have proper independence then celebrate it”

  33. Tony Little
    Ignored
    says:

    @Roddy
     
    Thanks for the link to the discussions.  Quite interesting, but what struck me most was the obvious dislike for Alex Salmond and the SNP by Margo MacDonald.  I hadn’t realised the rift between her and the SNP was still so painful  It spoilt for me the discussions which followed from Tom Devine’s excellent lecture. 
     
    I recommend it to others. 

  34. Juteman
    Ignored
    says:

    I can’t form an opinion on Des Clarkes article.
    It can be read a few different ways.
     

  35. Yesitis
    Ignored
    says:

    I am looking forward to our very own Separation Day holiday?

  36. Mosstrooper
    Ignored
    says:

    @ angus mcPhee, why is it necessary to “interpret” any article to find out if it is pro indy or not. For God’s sake they don’t give a shit about your interpretation of their bilge. Stop seeking approval, this is the enemy FFS 

  37. Robert Bryce
    Ignored
    says:

    @Angus McPhee
     
    My hunch was that he’s a Yes voter.
     
    @Roddy Macdonald

    Tom Devine’s presentation was brilliant and informative.

    It was surprising just how easily Willie Rennie conceded that Scotland could easily be a vibrant prosperous country outside the UK. One could mistake his support for the union as being wafer thin and simple party policy. He’ll vote Yes in the privacy of a polling booth!

    The most refreshing thing was that the audience seemed to be overwhelmingly open to a Yes vote with the majority of those who asked the questions appearing to be in the yes camp already.

    I am now convinced more than ever that Scotland will return a yes vote next year.

  38. SCED300
    Ignored
    says:

    O/T In the Telegraph, next scare story-
    “Mobile phone users could incur roaming charges while still in the UK if Scotland gains independence, ministers have warned.”
    But everybody seems to ignore-” However the UK Government should acknowledge that the EU is looking to remove roaming charges completely and they are widely expected to be abolished well before 2016.”

  39. Adrian B
    Ignored
    says:

    @ SCED300,
     
    But will England, Wales and Northern Ireland be in the EU post 2017. Perhaps the Telegraph have a point.

  40. Braco
    Ignored
    says:

    Angus McPhee,
    yes, that’s how it felt to me too.

  41. Chic McGregor
    Ignored
    says:

    @Juteman
    “What about all the depleted uranium in the thousands of rounds that have hammered Cape Wrath over the years?”
    And the Solway Firth, and the Lockerbie plane had depleted uranium in its tail section.
    And my auntie ran a hotel on the Clyde.  An expert came up from London to monitor local radiation levels.  Was supposed to stay at least a week but left after two days saying he thought the levels were too high for him to remain.

  42. Braco
    Ignored
    says:

    Robert Bryce,
    do you have any other info that I could follow up on that North Lanarkshire mine shaft dumping story you mentioned. That would effect the entire water table and if true, is an absolute scandal!
     
    Heavy metals in the Calder have probably reduced me to the early 70’s at best (with an NHS), now your telling me this!
     
    If just a rumour, don’t be scared to say (please). Thanks min.
     

  43. Yesitis
    Ignored
    says:

    OT
    I wonder what ‘hounded out’ involves? 
    https://twitter.com/ginnyslater/status/351002446602047488

  44. Adrian B
    Ignored
    says:

    EU roaming charges story from 13th June 2013
    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/mediatechnologyandtelecoms/telecoms/10119159/EU-to-end-mobile-roaming-charges-next-year.html
     
    “The group of 27 European Commissioners voted in Brussels on Tuesday to drive the package through in time for the European elections in May next year, to come into force as soon as 1 July 2014.”

  45. Robert Bryce
    Ignored
    says:

    @Braco
     
    I’ve heard from two separate sources that in the late 60’s (1968 approx) there was high level radioactive waste placed into some of the old mine shafts in Nether Croy and sealed up.

    As I said earlier, their are a few mobile monitoring units in the vicinity. One in the village itself and one just of the A80 at Auchinkilns (behind The Red Deer).

    It could be argued that the one at Auchinkilns is monitoring traffic pollution but why the need for one in a quiet village with no heavy industry in the vacinity?
     
    I have actioned an FOI with North Lanarkshire Council asking them to confirm each and every area in North Lanarkshire where they are aware of radioactive waste and all monitoring results obtained by them or from their appointed 3rd party contractors.

    I would urge everyone to question their local authority on this too. There may be more than we think!!
     
     

  46. Atypical_Scot
    Ignored
    says:

     
    @ Angus McPhee;
     
    In essence he’s saying ” the Scottish celebrations we have just now are full of ‘Cringe pish’ and he’s absolutely right.
     
    Totally agree. Scottish celebrations are nearly as awful as the Jubilee, Royal Weddings etc. Nothing comes close to Thatcher’s funeral though, televised for Scottish viewers – WTF – The establishment, whether we look at it from the perspective of UK tradition or Scottish tradition is a formulaic and myopic censorship of individuality that if embraced, can only lead to a distillation of ones personal identity, whitewashing the very fabric of democracy through convention.
     
    Or I’m pished.

  47. Robert Bryce
    Ignored
    says:

    Braco,
    I am as worried as you are but I’ll place my faith in NLC telling the truth.

    All I can say is that two locals believe their is something down there. All the old pit shafts were filled in with rubble etc but I’m led to believe that one was filled in and capped with concrete?

    If your interested perhaps the rev can pass on my email address to you and I’ll drop you the results of the FOI?

     

  48. Jiggsbro
    Ignored
    says:

    It could be argued that the one at Auchinkilns is monitoring traffic pollution but why the need for one in a quiet village with no heavy industry in the vicinity?
     
    To monitor pollution in a quiet village with no heavy industry. Otherwise what are you going to compare the other readings with and how would you know if air pollution was spreading beyond the obvious areas?
     

  49. Robert Bryce
    Ignored
    says:

    Jiggsbro says:
     

    It could be argued that the one at Auchinkilns is monitoring traffic pollution but why the need for one in a quiet village with no heavy industry in the vicinity? To monitor pollution in a quiet village with no heavy industry. Otherwise what are you going to compare the other readings with and how would you know if air pollution was spreading beyond the obvious areas?
     
    I think it would be safe to assume we know what a safe level is these days. It’s not like the threat of traffic pollution is something new?
     
    If it was to compare a busy road with a quiet village then there is an even quieter village along the road from Croy called Dullater.

    Hopefully the FOI will confirm there’s nothing there and it is just a local myth.

  50. alexicon
    Ignored
    says:

    “We’re not saying it’s sinister. It’s just a bit weird”
     
    Although I’m also saying that this article is not sinister, I think I can safely say that the Daily Record, as a whole, is very much sinister.
    I( have also noticed of late, that the Herald is leaning, as if it didn’t before, well towards the Labour party and the union again.
    Any one else noticed this trend?
    A sign of things to come I think.

  51. Jiggsbro
    Ignored
    says:

    I think it would be safe to assume we know what a safe level is these days.
     
    Who said anything about safe levels? It’s necessary to have a benchmark level. It may be necessary or desirable to have many different benchmark levels, none of which might be in an area where you think they ought to be. But they’ll have been placed by people who actually know something about air pollution monitoring. What they won’t be is radiation monitors to monitor possible leaks from non-existent dumps that you heard about from some bloke in the pub. Because if there were dumps – and if there were, somehow, a possibility of airborne radioactive particles leaking from them – then the monitors would be right on top of the dumps, because you really don’t want to wait until that stuff’s floated a few miles down the road.

  52. Vronsky
    Ignored
    says:

    You’re taking it too seriously – it’s just padding to fill a few column inches.  He probably dashed it off in about a minute.  However I do like his idea of the Third Forth Bridge.

  53. Morag
    Ignored
    says:

    the Lockerbie plane had depleted uranium in its tail section.
     
    <citation needed>

  54. Robert Bryce
    Ignored
    says:

    Jiggsbro,
    I bow to your wisdom and shall get in touch with NLC to cancel my FOI on the “non-existent” waste dump in Croy.

    I can’t believe how fucking stupid I’ve been to give this any credence. I should have come to you in the first place.
     
    Braco,
    Your safe, don’t panic.

  55. Jiggsbro
    Ignored
    says:

    I can’t believe how fucking stupid I’ve been to give this any credence.
     
    Oh, that I can believe.

  56. ianbrotherhood
    Ignored
    says:

     
    ‘Saturday Night Stooshie Looms’

  57. Robert Bryce
    Ignored
    says:

    Jiggsbro says:
     

    I can’t believe how fucking stupid I’ve been to give this any credence. Oh, that I can believe.
     
    Don’t hold back or anything eh

  58. Morag
    Ignored
    says:

    Well, can we have a bit of evidence here, rather than bald assertions? Who says Maid of the Seas had depleted uranium in her tail section, and how do they know?

  59. Robert Bryce
    Ignored
    says:

    ianbrotherhood says:
     

     ‘Saturday Night Stooshie Looms’
     

    Absolutely not Ian. I accept that the rumour is most likely mince. I’m man enough to admit when I’ve lost an argument.

    I’m off down the boozer now for more shite 🙂

  60. ianbrotherhood
    Ignored
    says:

     
    @Robert Bryce-
     
    Love is all around…
     
    Bottoms-up!

  61. Rev. Stuart Campbell
    Ignored
    says:

    “Well, can we have a bit of evidence here, rather than bald assertions? Who says Maid of the Seas had depleted uranium in her tail section, and how do they know?”

    Quarantine, please, folks.

  62. Tamson
    Ignored
    says:

    I’ve seen Des Clarke doing standup a couple of times, and he comes across as quite clever – one gig in particular where he had a group of Ruglonian slappers in on a hen night, dealt with their heckles pretty well, I thought.
     
    If you consider the “most people don’t really read much beyond the headline” logic, he’s just managed to get a strong “Vote Yes” headline in the Daily Record. Good going, I’d say.

  63. Morag
    Ignored
    says:

    Quarantine, please, folks.
     
    Please, NO!  I just went over there and I think I lost about 40 IQ points.  Never again.

  64. Braco
    Ignored
    says:

    Everybody that hasn’t lost a family member or members to long scale industrial neglect/profiteering then do please take your sneering contempt over to Quarantine.
     
    If you have swum and ate from the Calder river, or any other waterway during our great historic industrial past, then consider again what ‘conspiracies’ may become simple truths in the near future. 30 year rules, are they still good enough for you then?

    Jiggs,

    I respect your cynisism, but what exactly do you know about early onset dimensia and heavy metal industrial pollution in Motherwell during the 70s and 80s? Don’t bother googling it, cause it’s already over and nobody gives a shit about the dead doolally.
     
    I am not dead and I am not doolally, yet, but implying tin foil hat conspiracy theories upon anyone with legitimate fears over the environment they have lived in with common local knowledge of ponds and parks to be avoided as poisoned, slag or spoil, does stick in the craw .
     
    These places were not haunted and the wide boys that frequented them ’cause it was cool’, look forward in dread. Those that are even aware of it, that is.

  65. Rev. Stuart Campbell
    Ignored
    says:

    Folks, off-topic (not “conspiracy”) stuff is going in Quarantine one way or another. If you make me put it there rather than doing it yourself I’ll just be a lot more bad-tempered about it.

  66. Robert Bryce
    Ignored
    says:

    Braco,
    I’ve shifted over to quarantine if you wish to discuss further.

  67. Scaraben
    Ignored
    says:

    @Morag,
     
    About 747s and DU, see my post in Quarantine.

  68. Vronsky
    Ignored
    says:

    “I lost about 40 IQ points.”
     
    Which you can ill afford.

  69. Andy-B
    Ignored
    says:

    @Robert Bryce.
    Yes I, agree, theirs a lot more, than meets the eye to the dumping of toxic substances, in Scotland, I recall reading that David Cameron had to fire depeleted uranium shells at paper targets out at sea, in order to get round EU dumping laws.

  70. Angus McPhee
    Ignored
    says:

     
    Mosstrooper says:
    29 June, 2013 at 5:21 pm

    @ angus mcPhee, why is it necessary to “interpret” any article to find out if it is pro indy or not. For God’s sake they don’t give a shit about your interpretation of their bilge. Stop seeking approval, this is the enemy FFS 

    What a bizarre reaction.
    Who am I seeking approval from?
    This whole page exists based on Rev. Stuart Campbell‘s interpretation of an article which happens to be different to mine. perhaps your understanding of the word interpret is different to mine, I did not mean translate.
    If I were directing my comments to those who “don’t give a shit…” I’d have posted over at the Daily record rather than here.



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