Action and reaction
The Scottish media’s response to Friday’s launch of the Yes Scotland campaign in an Edinburgh cinema has been, as you might expect, extensive and varied.
Some of the coverage was dismayingly predictable, some of it rather more surprising.
One of the best pieces was Ian Bell’s superb summary for the Herald, the first sighting in the mainstream press of the argument this blog’s been hammering away at for over six months, and which in our view is the single most crucial aspect of the debate. Sadly, Bell’s insight didn’t permeate as far as the Herald’s leader column, which completely missed the point in favour of tired old demands for “clarity” over issues such as NATO membership – something the referendum will NOT decide.
The normally-thoughtful David Torrance let himself down by offering up a truly horrible effort on the Scotsman, dripping bitter, sour cynicism which outdid the Herald by failing to understand both the core principle being highlighted by the launch event, and the narrower purpose of the event itself. Torrance treated the launch as if it was the entirety of the two-year campaign, carping miserably about the absence of business figures and failing to grasp that the focus of the launch specifically was on the broad community of ordinary people across the political spectrum. Businessmen making economic arguments will undoubtedly feature prominently in the campaign as it unfolds, but the Fountainbridge Cineworld wasn’t their forum.
Conversely, the Observer’s Kevin McKenna – for whom thought is normally an unnecessary encumbrance to the production of a weekly column of swivel-eyed Nat-bashing – provided a thoroughly surprising and impassioned entreaty to Scotland’s Unionist-inclined voters to stop and think carefully before reflexively aligning themselves with the No camp:
“This is not an election to turn up at the polling booth undecided and then simply stick a cross beside the box with the name of the dismal oik upon whom Labour has decided to pin a red rosette. There has to be a long debate about this and it has barely begun. If today then, you have already decided to vote for the Union you are simply not taking your duty seriously.”
Following a recent piece in which McKenna urged Labour and the SNP to work constructively together on Glasgow City Council (albeit at a time when it was still widely believed that Labour could lose its majority), if he keeps this sort of considered, balanced work coming we might have to promote him from our Zany Comedy Relief corner to the proper links section.
(We might move Ian Smart in to fill his place in the loony parade, as he seems to spend almost all of his time nowadays ranting away to a tiny and shrinking audience of increasingly-concerned social workers with his barking-mad insistence that the SNP don’t want to – and ultimately won’t – hold a referendum at all.)
While the nationalist blogosphere has been largely approving of the campaign launch, the FUD camp seems to have been largely wrongfooted by it, unable to counter the simple, difficult-to-contest “Scotland should be run by Scots” message. Labour Hame, for example, appears to have given up the ghost entirely, having carried just two short posts since the middle of March.
(Now lacking any central public forum, we must assume the party has retreated into itself and in particular its tightly-controlled Facebook group, last heard of appearing to wish death on the First Minister’s elderly father. We’re sure that a circle of mutual self-assurance will convince the party it’s been doing the right thing ever since devolution, and that its electoral performance will continue on the stellar trajectory it’s enjoyed since 2003.)
Tory Hoose, similarly, has had nothing to say about the launch other than listing links to some carefully-chosen reports in newspapers. The impression all this silence conveys is that the nascent No campaign has been rather unnerved by the cleverly-focused nature of its opponents. With its own launch imminent, we’ll be watching with keen interest to see whether they tackle the simple self-determination principle head-on, or stick with the same old tactics of distraction and distortion that appear to be delivering steadily-diminishing results.
Plainly the stress of leading for the losing side in the Lord Jack v’s elderly neighbour “coalshed dispute” has flipped Ian Smart once and for all.
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/2012/03/14/jack-mcconnell-fails-in-bid-to-have-neighbour-banned-from-using-disputed-coalshed-86908-23787610/
Maybe we are all being too serious for our own good. So, while we’re waiting for the positive case for the union, couldn’t we entertain ourselves by speculating about the line-up at the launch of the No Campaign. Maybe a kind of Private Eye-type spoof on how it might be reported in The Scotsman for example? Something along the lines of:
After the nats’ disastrous launch of the Yes campaign on May 25th, you could be forgiven for thinking that the No campaign needn’t have bothered itself with a formal launch. After all, if that’s the best that the nats can do, why bother? And as The Scotsman reminded its readers only yesterday (again), as every opinion poll ever taken has conclusively shown, a No vote is a shoo-in. But this great nation of ours doesn’t have a stiff upper lip for nothing. Unlike the Johnny-come-lately nats, we’ve earned that lip in the world, through hard graft and the oppression of millions of people across the world (Shurely Shome mishtake – Ed).
So it was that some of Britain’s greatest ever Britons, never seen in the same room before, assembled together to launch the No campaign, in what can only be described as the most fittingly grandiloquent of settings, the gardens of Holyrood Palace. In stark contrast to the tacky setting chosen by the nats, Cineworld in Fountainbridge – no doubt chosen because Sean Connery used to deliver milk from there (is that a joke? – Ed) – her Majesty, in her most majestic magnificence, had graciously given permission, in this her Jubilee year, for her garden to be used by the No campaign. Unlike the nats, this wasn’t a PR disaster either, where wee fat Eck was competing with ‘The Great Dictator’ for the nation’s affection (you might want to reconsider this? – Ed).
What can one say? All that’s required to demonstrate the substance and superiority of the No campaign, is simply to mention the names of Britain’s greatest ever Britons, assembled in this most magnificent setting, in stark contrast to the dreary assembly of no-marks cobbled together by the nats. And so readers, here is the most mouth-watering assembly of Britain’s greatest ever Britons that, we guarantee, you’ve ever seen:
Britain’s Greatest Ever Britons
Baroness Thatcher (Britain’s greatest ever most-hated prime minister)
Tony Blair (Britain’s greatest ever war criminal)
David Tenant (Britain’s greatest ever Dr Who – No he isn’t – Ed)
Labour peer Lord Sainsbury (Britain’s greatest ever supermarket millionaire)
Labour MP Shaun Woodward (Britain’s richest ever MP)
Michelle Mone (Britain’s greatest ever greetin-faced unionist)
Jacob Rees-Mogg (Britain’s greatest ever Tory toff)
David Cameron (Britain’s second greatest ever Tory toff)
Reverend Ian Paisley (Britain’s greatest ever bigot)
Alistair Darling (Britain’s greatest ever cock-up- chancellor)
Ed Miliband (Britain’s worst opposition leader – ever, Ed)
Ronnie Biggs (Britain’s greatest ever bank robber)
Lord George Robertson (Britain’s greatest ever number of non-executive directorships)
Peter Mandelson (Britain’s greatest ever liar)
Uri Geller (Britain’s greatest ever spoon bender)
Johann Lamont (Britain’s greatest ever Krankie)
As the world’s press waited in the little square of lawn that had been allocated to them, the question on everyone’s lips was what song would the No campaign choose for its launch, as the leitmotif of unionism? Would it comfortably outshine the one chosen by the nats, Big Country’s dreary unmelodious effort, ‘One Great Thing’? We needn’t have feared. It may seem obvious now but there was really only one choice, though none of us guessed it at the time. You’ve guessed it, that classic from The Strawbs, ‘Part of the Union’.
The highlight of the day was surely when Baroness Thatcher, who can barely speak nowadays, mustered the strength to belt out those immortal lines so dear to this great nation’s heart:
You don’t get me I’m part of the union
You don’t get me I’m part of the union
You don’t get me I’m part of the union
Till the day I die, Till the day I die
One onlooker, clearly an embittered, petty, insular, narrow-minded nat, on hearing Baroness Thatcher’s rendition of this great British classic, told the Scotsman, “This could be Baroness Thatcher’s swansong. These words could be accurate, I don’t deny that. Of course, that doesn’t preclude a Yes vote in 2014?”.
Meanwhile, one tearful young Scottish Labour party worker, clearly overwhelmed by the occasion, interrupted her live updates on the day’s events to Twitter, to tell The Scotsman, “My only regret is that Keir Hardie and Jimmy Maxton aren’t here with us today. They would have loved this”.
Britain’s greatest ever cock-up chancellor was also on fine form, telling The Scotsman that, “Baroness Thatcher is a remarkable woman. Even after all these years, she can still belt out the great British classics with the best of them. I tell you, more than anyone, apart from me, she made Scotland what it is today. Her legacy lives on, as Labour proved when we were in government for thirteen years”.
A beaming Dr Who told The Scotsman, “In my time, and throughout all time, I’ve fought the daleks, the cybermen, I’ve been stuck in a police box for centuries, nay millennia. I’ll be bringing all that experience to the No campaign. Or let me put it another way, who would you rather face, a city full of daleks or a handful of nutty nats? It’s a no-brainer really”.
And Scotland’s greatest ever Krankie, clearly overjoyed at the rare privilege of rubbing shoulders with such exulted great British company, told us, “As ever, I’m lost for the right words. So I have only one thing to say: Fan-Dabbie-Dozie”. We at The Scotsman say ‘hear hear’ to that Johann.
The only sour note of the day was sounded by the ‘Professor of Pop’, Paul Gambaccini, who told The Scotsman, “I know that The Strawbs aren’t dead yet. But if they were, they’d be turning in their graves at this blatant misuse of the meaning of this great British pop classic. ‘Part of the Union’ is not a song about the union of Great Britain or the European Union or any other political union. As everyone knows, ‘Part of the Union’ is a song about the union in marriage of two gay men. It only goes to show what I’ve been saying all these years, political parties and pop just don’t go together”.
Former caretaker prime minister, Gordon Brown, was unavailable for comment.
So there we have it. Truly, a fittingly great day for this great British nation. As Britain’s greatest ever Britons lined up for one last photograph with the world’s press, assembled on the small square of lawn that had been allocated to them, the group of great Britons, in unison, voiced the message of the No campaign that would trounce the nats in 2014:
“This is who we are and this is what we stand for”.
Ian Bell’s article is one of the finest I’ve seen in regards to independence. Finally, a journalist who actually GETS IT.
David Torrance’s, on the other hand, sadly typifies the rump of Scottish journalism. I often disagree with his poorly-concealed unionist views, but at least he can usually make his case in a rational manner. That article is so poorly constructed, you would think he was the leader of the No campaign. That he misses the point at every turn so monumentally is almost impressive.
But it was clear he knew what he wanted to write before he even entered the room, what with telling Twitter what a PR disaster it was to have Prometheus posters up on the way to Cinema 7. Unionist to the core.
London suits him a bit too much.
YesYesYes says:
May 27, 2012 at 2:27 pm
Maybe we are all being too serious for our own good. So, while we’re waiting for the positive case for the union, couldn’t we entertain ourselves by speculating about the line-up at the launch of the No Campaign.
How about this for a “We are United got it” campaign launch line up.
Tony (warmonger and liar extraordinaire) Blair (I’m a socialist Toff)
Gordon (Ye’ll do what I say and like it) Brown (I like Toffee)
Alistair (Anything you say Gordon) Darling (Do I sound like a Toff. I’m sure I do)
Followed by
David (Anything you can do I can do better) Cameron (I’m a toff you know)
George (Money!, Money!, give me all your money) Osbourne (I’m a toff too you know)
Phillip (Tell the South the truth, lie to the ignorant Scots) Hammond (I’m not a toff. But I want to be a toff, please, pretty please with a cherry on top. You do like cherries don’t you?)
Followed by
Oh! Can I get back to you on this. I’m sure there was someone else going to appear, just can’t quite remember who. 😀 Any way I am sure who ever they were they are surely going to be a Toff as well! 😀
So there we have it folks, a whole line up of Toffs, telling us Scots what we should all be grateful for and demanding to see all our begging bowls. Aye right Bubba, that’ll be the day.
Just as a wee aside here.
I’ve just come across this site.
http://weegienat.blogspot.co.uk/
In the article he says “I was just wondering if any Nat’s who are interested in the economic side of the debate like I am, would like to collaborate to produce a report on the Scottish economy. Detailing such aspects as; how we are doing now, and what we could do with independence. ”
I thought I’d post the link for all you economics based peeps out there who might be able to do a wee bit of collaboration. It seems to me that he has a point. There does not seem, at present anyway, to be a great deal of information out there for the “undecideds” to get to grips with regarding Scotland’s true financial situation and as he says this is one area that will become the centre battleground to win over the “undecideds”.
Arbroath1320
The No campaign are spoilt for choice aren’t they? After such a lengthy first post I’ll resist the temptation to add further thoughts and quit while I’m ahead. But I do like your Phillip Hammond:
“I’m not a toff. But I’d like to be a toff”.
Now I think about it, he does remind me of the kind of genetic mutant you’d produce if it were possible to cross-fertilise John Major and William Hague. Poor thing.
Oh please Yes Yes Yes. I hope you realise the image that is now circulating my single cellular brain cell. 😀
You do realise that I’ll never be able to look at another image of a Tory without:
a) figuring out who best to cross them with.
b) laughing every time I see a Tory, any Tory.
I’m only glad you decided to cross Major with Hague. What would the result have been had you decided to cross a couple of Labourites instead?
NO NO NO PLEASE don’t even start going down that road! 😀
Well if you crossed gormless Ed Miliband with Johann Lamont’s knickers you’d have an elastic bland.
Or if you crossed Ian ‘The Fuhrer’ Davidson with Dougie Alexander you’d come up with an uncanny resemblance to Tommy Cooper.
My favourite, though, would be to cross Helen Liddel and Margaret Curran as that would produce the quintessential skelped erse.
That’s enough cross-fertilisation for one thread – Ed.
“FREE DOUBLE CD: A glorious patriotic soundtrack to the Jubilee”
http://twitter.com/AlanRoden/status/206340924907864065/photo/1
I must say, I was tempted.
Awe c’mon Ed, be fair. We’ve no even started on the Lib/Dems yet. 😀
You’re a good angler, I take it Arbroath1320?
Last two. Any more and we’ll be getting into trouble with the Reverend, on a Sunday as well (we strayed off topic a long time ago).
The Lib Dems are a tougher nut to crack because they’re all so nondescript, but here goes.
If you cross Vince Cable with Paddy Ashdown you’d get Golem from Lord of the Rings.
If you cross Danny Alexander with David Steel you’d get what Sheldon from Big Bang Theory would be like if he had a low IQ.
I’ve never understood why McKenna is so often lumped in by SNPers with the Cochranes and Kellys. I think he’s one of the more considered hacks who writes on this subject: he accepts that independence has both pros and cons, which is something many on both sides of the argument are reluctant to acknowledge. I get the impression he voted SNP last year, too.
We’ve linked to plenty examples of why over the months. But yeah, now and again the medication wears off briefly and he surprises me.
Rullko, you clearly haven’t read McKenna’s “Scotland will become North Korea” article!
YesYesYes says:
May 27, 2012 at 7:15 pm
You’re a good angler, I take it Arbroath1320?
I’d like to say Yes, unfortunately I’m not. 🙁
I just like asking questions, the more obscure and “thought provoking ” the better. 😀
The only thing I can say about my posts is “expect the unexpected!” 😀
Nice set o’ posts Arb, yer in good form.
Watched a recording of last nights debate over the cornflakes this morning and immediately felt the clouds of depression lift as I realised the joke that unionism really is. I mean c’mon when they still don’t understand the answer to What does Yes mean? Yes only means one thing, Yes. It means yes I do want to run my own affairs. Yes, I do think we can make a better job of it than Westminster and Yes I think we have more than enough in the ground, in the sea and in the people to make life that bit easier.
In fact just YES. 😀
Oh and by the by Arb.
http://tinypic.com/view.php?pic=2mrwqpz&s=6
Enjoy 🙂
Hey Arbroath1320,
As far as the economy goes, at the moment I think Scotland is no better or worse off than the UK average when taking into account North sea oil & current prices.
http://www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/news/article-2100345/Londons-taxes-prop-rest-UK-One-pound-earned-capital-funds-rest-country.html#
Most unionist politicians then refer to the volatility of oil prices to create uncertainty but we are close to peak oil [estimates around 2020 – wiki] and the oil fields around Scotland are expected to last until at least 2040 [Huffington Post]. This would see oil prices increase as demand increases for more than the last two thirds of the oil extraction that we have left.
I am not an expert in economics, in fact my knowledge is pretty limited but my opinion is we would be roughly in the same position, probably a little better off.
Bit by bit the penny is dropping, so far the no camp are using the line it’s a scary world do you actually think you can manage that yourself narrative.
As we all know the size of country (physical/population) is not important. It’s how well it’s managed.
It’s slowly sinking in almost a holy shit, but not quite yet.
Thanks Macart.
Goody, Goody, Goody. Now I can have some REAL fun! 😀
I’m hoping that link took you to some cybernat artwork. :D))
I think this sums up the Anti Independence Brigade in a oner! 😀
http://i1153.photobucket.com/albums/p507/millienmike52/funny_orkut_scraps_funny_cats_images_shouting-1.jpg
Like you Chris I am no economist, to be perfectly honest the minute I hear an economist open their mouth I fall asleep. 😀
What always amazes me is that Westminster currently relies on Scotland’s oil to bolster up its failing economic strategy, did they EVER have one I wonder? 😀 Yet at the same time they try and put down Scotland for looking at oil as baseline for the Scottish economy, at least in the short term. Now I always used to think that “what’s good for the goose is good for the gander”. Apparently not! 🙁 Whenever there is talk about oil we always end up with the same garbage from Westminster, “We know what we’re talking about You don’t so just shut up!”
One thing that no one has yet factored into the Oil equation yet is the effect of CO2 capture technology on the production of oil. I mention this because I read an article on the BBC site last week, can’t find now (no surprise there then!), that was suggesting that new ways of CO2 carbon capture technology were being investigated that would INCREASE Scotland’s oil reserves by up to 25%! I have heard no mention of this on the delightful ? (Dis)Reporting Scotland so I guess it must be false. 🙁 Have no fear for I am here! I have found a couple of alternative sources to back up what I read last week, here it is folks.
http://www.businessweek.com/news/2012-05-23/scottish-carbon-capture-drive-to-help-unlock-299-billion-of-oil
http://thegwpf.org/uk-news/5810-ccs-subsidies-may-hold-key-to-p190billion-of-north-sea-oil-recovery.html
Enjoy them. 😀
Read them and weep Westminster! 😀
Oh don’t forget Scotland’s “favourite” newspaper either.
http://www.scotsman.com/news/environment/new-research-centre-could-hold-key-to-190bn-of-oil-1-2311985
Hahahahhahahahahahaha!
Mice one Arb! 😀
The Daily Mail’s piece managed an all-time low. Lots of foaming at the mouth about communists/socialists/reds/etc. They carefully avoided any sense or tackling the topics or points at hand or even debate. May as well just put the words “UP YOURS, BIG NOSE” in large print and left it at that.
They even had the cheek to have an editorial column after, as if they somehow felt constrained in the piece about putting their real opinion across in their hatefest.