The world's most-read Scottish politics website

Wings Over Scotland


When you’re in a hurry

Posted on December 19, 2013 by

…and you haven’t got time to think of a misleading headline or laboriously rewrite a “Better Together” press release into something that might just about pass for actual news reporting if viewed fleetingly in poor lighting conditions, you can do nearly as good a job of distorting the truth with just a quick C-switched-for-W keypress.

wouldcould

It’s a real Scottish-media time-saver!

We still need a good name for the phenomenon, though.

wouldcould1

Print Friendly

    71 to “When you’re in a hurry”

    1. colin mccartney says:

      “Unionism” ?

    2. naebd says:

      “talking shite”?

    3. Remember when John Major used to say “wunt” a lot and everyone thought he meant “want”?

    4. Mike says:

      “cwoulding”

    5. steven luby says:

      ‘ahem’ shit,duck….lightening !

    6. Bugger (the Panda) says:

      The WC effect.

    7. JPFife says:

      So the first sentence says problems with Scotland being in a monetary union and the second sentence says problems with Scotland leaving a monetary union. Kind of sums up the Hootsman, Maddox et al.

    8. ronnie cowan says:

      Jabbertalky !

    9. Alba4Eva says:

      Ach, we all know its a load of CWap!

    10. JPFife says:

      Anyone actually seen this Fitch report they’re all quoting from? I haven’t been able to find it online, references in quote news unquote stories just say a report. Maybe it’s a secret?

    11. Doug Daniel says:

      Might I suggest the phrase “lying”?

    12. scaredy cat. says:

      I’ve been searching for it too. No success. Not even on Fitch’s website. Very strange.

    13. Jenny says:

      OT but… feeling some Christmas cheer after I noticed the Better Together Facebook likes are at 100k and the YES’s are at 113k.
      🙂

    14. Bill McLean says:

      Maddox doesn’t know journalism from a dog’s breakfast – which is what his article is. Did all these duff journos train at the same place – and where was it? Scotsman readership down again – no wonder these clueless journos since Neil’s time have destroyed what was a quality paper! Now in world status British newspapers are rated “fair”. Scottish titles must be below that unbelievably!

    15. Beastie says:

      Oh yes, I spotted this pearl on the BBC News app a wee while ago.

      Interestingly, on searching the app for it now, it seems to have vanished into the ether. Funny that. Perhaps Fitch took offence at it; wouldn’t be hard to see how. But I had the foresight to post it to Facebook, so I’ll give you the headline our ‘impartial’ national news service used.

      ‘Pound Unstable Under Independence.’

      We pay for this. I personally wouldn’t, but the wife pays the TV Licensing and she does. I resent contributing to a service which is completely and utterly against independence, the SNP, the Scottish Government, and quite conceivably even the Scottish Parliament, because their paymasters are in London and they’re pulling the strings.

    16. JPFife says:

      scaredy cat  prime source seems to be Douglas Fraser at BBC Scotland.

    17. Papadocx says:

      Brittain means Engerland. Engerland means ENGERLAND. Anything else means we’re paying for it.

    18. JPFife says:

      Thanks Iain – report is over a year old. No wonder they were reticent to mention the source of it.

      Although might not be the one they are referring to as quote mentioned in papers do not appear in the one from October 2012

    19. Macart says:

      Instead of Rosetta how about Campbell Stone. An essential guide to filtering and translating double speak, project fear mince.

    20. pa_broon74 says:

      What Maddox doesn’t pass on is Fitch was talking about the rest of the UK after independence – not Scotland.

    21. thejourneyman says:

      Bull Shit or Water buffalo Crap ie the WC effect?

    22. JPFife says:

      Just checking Stu, you do have news sniffer in your armory don’t you?
       
      http://www.newssniffer.co.uk/articles/718191/diff/0/1

    23. Hetty says:

      O/T
      This I just read in a bbc article about prisoners losing a court battle to be granted the right to vote in the referendum next year, on the grounds that it could affect their human rights, for the following reason.

      “And they claimed that the blanket ban was contrary to EU law because the result of the referendum would or might lead to the loss of European Union rights”. 

      This is what Lord Glennie said about that:

      “There is no direct link between the independence referendum and any decision as to future membership or citizenship of the EU”.

    24. Jingly Jangly says:

      The Fitch report is nonsense, talking about reduced income from North Sea and unlikely that Geographical share of oil reserves, they must have been reading a IFR report.

      BTW any news on that tweet last night which the Beebs Fraser said something that the IFR had revised their forecast on Scottish GDP upwards?

    25. Les Wilson says:

      I wonder what tack the Unionists would take if we said OK, we will take a route other than Sterling?
       
      OH SHIT !  – I can hear it now from the corridors of power ! 

    26. handclapping says:

      I’d go for the CWap. Its probably a free download from the ap-store if you put the number of your “journalism” certificate in.
       
      “Don’t be doubtful, be definite: use the CWap to make sure.”

    27. Jamie Arriere says:

      Obviously someone at Better Together just “found that Fitch report on the internet”…good job they removed the remark about keeping the AAA rating!

    28. wee jamie says:

      How about Blatant Unionists making massively erroneous remarks syndrome, or BUMMERS for short ?

    29. beachthistle says:

      My vote cwould go to ‘cwacking‘ – conflating the c-w interchange thing with the hacks that do it.
      Works as a verb (to cwack)
      noun (a cwack or cwacker) and
      an adjective/whatever-it’s-called (ya cwacking so and so)

    30. Jamie Arriere says:

      If there is anyone…anyone with a shred of journalistic integrity left, might they ever ask the question why the recycling of a 14-month old report (obviously out-of-date since the UK AAA rating has since been lost) should constitute news!?

    31. wee 162 says:

      Babblepish.

    32. What about nobbled / no-bbled

    33. Training Day says:

      You say ‘will’, and I say ‘could’
      You say ‘might’, I say ‘definitely won’t’
      Will, could, might, definitely won’t
      Message to Westminster: LET’S CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF!

    34. Alan Mackintosh says:

      Dividing North Sea oil geographically would leave the residual UK with only 9% of reserves, if the split were made according to the Geneva Convention’s median line rules. But direct loss of government revenue to the residual UK could be offset by a reduction in fiscal transfers to Scotland. This, and the fact that UK oil revenue is forecast to decline in any case, would make the budgetary impact marginal.

      The impact on the balance of payments of a geographical oil split could be bigger, making the residual UK a net oil importer of about 2% of GDP. However, an improvement in the non-oil trade deficit of the residual UK, reflecting the higher non-oil goods and services deficit for Scotland, could partly offset the loss of energy export receipts.

      A geographical division of oil is an extreme outcome, as is a per capita division that would leave the residual UK with 92% of reserves. A compromise would be probably be reached.

      From the Fitch report linked above. The last paragraph is a bit of a leap… Share the continental shelf per capita…
      And how they think that ” A geographical division of oil is an extreme outcome…”

      Aye, right

    35. gillie says:

      People should not forget the role that these credit agencies, like Fitch played in the banking and Eurozone crises. They didn’t foresee these crises. There ratings prior to these events were described as “catastrophically misleading”, and when they did act they all became “essential cogs in the wheels of financial destruction”.

    36. Breastplate says:

      Babblepish, I like it. Trips off the tongue rather nicely if you don’t know your unions.

    37. gillie says:

      Like a previous commentator said there seems to be no official documents and news releases on this from Fitch itself.
       
      Has anyone tracked down the original news release? Was it issued from its New York or London offices.
       
      It all seems mysterious.

    38. Jimbo says:

      “We still need a good name for the phenomenon, though.”
       
      Dishonest?
      Mendacious?
      Duplicitous?

    39. Vronsky says:

      The charms of uncertainty, captured in the old rugby song:
       
      I like the girls who say they will
      I like the girls who don’t
      I hate the girls who say they will
      And then they say they won’t
      But best of all I love the girls – you must agree I’m right
      Who say they absolutely won’t – but look as though they might.

    40. Jamie Arriere says:

      Conlabdemious?

    41. creigs1707repeal says:

      O/T.
       
      Has anyone else noticed that WoS has more access blips (downtime) than usual recently? I think I have found access problems to the site at least on 5 or 6 occasions over the past month. Just had another one 10 mins ago. Not sure what the cause is. Perhaps something to look into Rev.

    42. Juan Pablo Del Roomigrant says:

      Swaptalk, a handy writer’s tool.

    43. creigs1707repeal says:

      WCs

    44. Jimbo says:

      Maybe some-one could come up with an instruction book for Scots on how to interpret Unionist-speak. 
       
      Unionism for Dummies?

    45. Jingly Jangly says:

      Yes I have noticed however its , probably due to the huge increase in traffic.
      Also its not necessary WOS that’s the problem, may be your ISP has gone on a slowdown…
      Many things can be the cause,
      For example my WOS is ok just now but Facebook is slow as

    46. Bertie K says:

      CWisling BTrail

    47. Chic McGregor says:

      I recently coined an Orwellesque word to describe the behaviour of the dependency tendency somewhere but I forget where.  It was ‘Opspeak’ meaning to say something you know to be the opposite of reality.
       
      Not yet, to be fair, a behavioural feature of the MSM (those residual elements from ethics lectures can still, despite their best efforts, be troublesome inhibitors can they not?)  
      However, it has been a noticeably growing tendency from the more deranged actors from BT and unionist politician fraternity.

    48. faolie says:

      cwik, as in a cwik reality check

    49. Andy-B says:

      Sounds to me like a clear cut case of punsterism
       
      Def. The use of words that have the same sound(could would should etc) but have different meanings.

    50. Dcanmore says:

      Coulda, shoulda, woulda; ifs buts and kindathings; mebbies aye mebbies naw… that pretty much sums up the Scottish MSM today. No real journalism just press releases going through the MSM filter to suit the editorial line, and that line is pro-Union.

    51. Bertie K says:

      CWunterism

      CWuurency union
      CWuntative easing
      CWarnett formula

      CWite simple really…

    52. Andy-B says:

      O/T
       
      The Daily (drivel) Record today, see’s the Laurel and Hardy of journalism Clegg and Crichton reduced to two narrow margin columns barely four inches long (how refreshing).
       
      First up Torcuil Chricton slams the Westminster co-alition government for jeering Margaret Curran when she speaks out about foodbanks across the UK, Crichton convienently forgets to mention though, that Curran and his Canary Wharf masters, support Westminsters power over Holyrood, albeit through a Labour led government.
       
      Next up is Clegg who bleats on about how 36.000 Scots have had their benefits stopped by the Tory/Lib/Dem co-alition Government, Clegg even has the audacity to quote Nicola Sturgeons comments, stating that these measures are pushing the poor further into poverty.
       
      Yet Cleggy boy can’t see past Westminsters rule over Scotland, pathetic why bleat on about poverty in Scotland Mr Clegg when its patently obvious Westminster calls the shots, agreeing with the Deputy First Minister of Scotland,whilst supporting Westminster, only enforces what people in Scotland already know, that you and and your journalistic kin at the Daily drivel, care more about the union than your fellow Scots.

    53. Bertie K says:

      Westminster?
      Cessminster.
       
       For when you’re in a hurry

    54. Fab001 says:

      Has Douglas Fraser ever written anything positive about independence? I very much doubt it, I’m sure BT will call him a highly trusted and impartial reporter. I might keep track of all the independence scare stories versus staying in the Union scare stories that feature on BBC Scotland’s website. Since yesterday its 2-0 to you know who, I’m guessing it will be a rout.

    55. msean says:

      Why not call it like it is.It is propaganda.That is all.

    56. msean says:

      Mind you,babblepish is funnier.

    57. Brian Mark says:

      Crap, Crap and more Crap, being an economic journalist is a bit like being one of the witches from Macbeth. We are all doomed I tell you, doomed! 

    58. handclapping says:

      Is babbelpish the one you stick in your ear and everything becomes clear?
      No that was the Babelfish.
      So is babbelpish the one where you stick your fingers in your ears and go La La La?
      No that is Scottish Labour.
      So is …
      Its nothing to do with your ears. Its about reading and writing.
      Give us a break. I’m only 3.
      That’s no way to talk to a impartial and respected journalist.
      < end irony >

    59. Dcanmore says:

      @Fab001
       
      Douglas Fraser hasn’t written anything positive on any subject… ever. Just look at his mug!

    60. G H Graham says:

      Confunionism      
       
      Con-funion-ism    noun \?kän-fyün-y?n,?ni-z?m’\
       
      the principle or policy of forming or adhering to one meaning that has a completely different meaning as in

      Would instead of could

      Might instead of will

      Should instead of shall

    61. Bertie K says:

      @G H Graham
      😀

    62. David McCann says:

      I see one of the so called trusted sources hasadmitted getting  it wrong.
      http://archive.is/CTdWs

    63. gordoz says:

      Heres a few ideas Rev –

      How about ‘flying’ ( sort of fly-lying as it were ) clear and simple?

      Or ‘kwisting’ (kwik twisting of meanings to attain advantage whilst appearing as a minor edit error).

    64. Juteman says:

      I haven’t read all the comments, but it’s obvious. C and W?
      CodsWallop.

    65. Ewan MacKenzie says:

      How about W and C-ing.
       
      Or wancing for short.

    66. theycan'tbeserious says:

      They speak with “furcked tongue”



    Comment - please read this page for comment rules. HTML tags like <i> and <b> are permitted. Use paragraph breaks in long comments. DO NOT SIGN YOUR COMMENTS, either with a name or a slogan. If your comment does not appear immediately, DO NOT REPOST IT. Ignore these rules and I WILL KILL YOU WITH HAMMERS.




    ↑ Top