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The Alex Salmond Fan Club

Posted on August 13, 2014 by
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Ally

Stu – with over subscribed crowdfund, can you give this lot a bung on behalf of WOS readers? BRILLIANT!!!

paul mccormack

like it. George Dearie’s a treasure!

Moreida Lord

I loved it…. specially the ‘can’t take my eyes off you’. Brilliant stuff…

heedtracker

Great! BT AlicSamin obsession is one of the creepiest ukok attacks around so missing undies from the washing line with AS tag? yep. Although, one minute Ruthie babes is doing voice overs ads for sales at Dunnes Stores, the next she’s leader of the Scottish Conservative Party, laying down constitutional law UK/EU, macroeconomics, defence, Trident, NATO, UN, energy, transport, tax, policy for 5.5 million people in Scotland.

What could possibly go wrong?

Jim Marshall

” Joining me now from our Dalmellington studio” lol.

Patna and Bellsbank folk will like this.

tartanfever

I love the tag lines at the bottom.

‘Stephen Paton returns from Mordor minus one finger’

Brilliant.

Calgacus MacAndrews

@heedtracker
What could possibly go wrong?

You could have a bloke whose last real job was press officer for the Cairngorms National Park as UK Chief Secretary to The Treasury.

Although, on the bright side, he is on a P45 after last night in Inverness.

He looked really worried the whole time.

Kenny

tartanfever – I was about to say exactly the same thing. Genius. 😀

Dan Huil

Is it true Annabel Goldie was the voice of the Cadbury’s Caramel Bunny in the 80s?

Proud Cybernat

Effin genius.

bunter

Hilarious. The fan club and sheep guy does it for me.

Les Wilson

A great escape from the crap we endure daily from BT, very well done.

John Gallagher

I am on holiday viset in my daughter in Lisbon NH USA Driving in the car when a talk show host says the Subject today in a so there drawl is SCOTTISH INDIPENDENCE Well I thought truth at last But alas who is introduced but the BBCs own Scots man from London I never heard so much crap lies and false statements He never mentioned OIL TRIDENT NHS THE GRASS ROOTS STRANGELY THAT WAS WI

John Gallagher

Struggle that was winning the debate he did mention the debate with Darling which he sad was like JOBS on TV Which was a total game changer and we were being led by ALEX SALMOND and the SNP With populace policies that people were beginning to see through And also we had never been ahead in the polls I won’t go on but the whole show was like that and boringly put as well

Peter Macbeastie

Will have a look at this later. Very thoughtfully, my work IT department took all the sound drivers off the laptops before they issued them to the drones.

Tattie-bogle

Best one yet “oh shit the daily mail”

Findlay Farquaharson

The sheep guy deserves an award for brill acting, came across as so realistic.

Peter Macbeastie

Last time, of course, I saw the words ‘Alex Salmond Fan Club’ it was on a page of choice words about him collated by Ray MacRobbie.

Always handy to have around when anyone claims all the abuse comes from the Yes side.

Lesley-Anne

Yet another BRILLIANT episode from the Dateline Scotland team. 😛

The problem is though bunter the sheep guy is REAL. Honest he is! I remember watching a wee video somewhere where they had videoed this guy having a go at the YES team who were handing out leaflets. 😀

I agree Les this is a great escape from the world according to BT. What is even better is that THIS programme is a lot nearer the TRUTH than anything from the MSM/BBC. 😉

bookie from hell

walofs

Derek M

lol these guys are brilliant i havnt laughed so much in ages the breaking news that Mr Swinney insists his milkshake brings all the boys to the yard ha ha so funny 🙂
I see a big future for these guys in an iScotland and should be given a slot on our new TV broadcaster 🙂

CameronB Brodie

“I love you baby ……” 🙂

Macart

Outstanding. 😀 LOL

Oh shit, the Daily Mail. (snigger)

Lesley-Anne

I was wondering what that strange smell was Macart. Thanks for informing me! 😛

Helena Brown

I haven’t had such a good laugh in heaven knows when.

Macart

@Lesley-Anne

Always happy tae help. 🙂

I love their Blair McDougall fill in.

I love you baby will never be the same again. Every time I hear it I’ll see B McD. 😀

First class.

Jim Mitchell

What, you mean it wasn’t real?

seemed as genuine, if not more so than the programmes we do get…… well perhaps a shade more realistic!

Steve Bowers 74% win

Oh the relief, it’s good to have a laugh, I vote they get a regular TV slot too

heedtracker

So Ms Davidson, welcome to your Conservative and Unionist Party MSP candidate selection/interview, any experience of anything remotely to do with private and or public sector Scotchland Ruth? No.

OK, thats great and how would you like to be the leader of the Scottish Conservative Party? OK!

Welcome to the Scottish Conservative and Unionist Party future Baroness Davidson, you’re not a sock puppet or a stuffed shirt at all.

highseastim

Oh sh*t the Daily Mail…………..brilliant!!

ronnie anderson

Never,Never,Never in the field of Political campaining
have so few reached so many, & Never,Never,Never has any
Political campain seen so much hilarity & satire consumed by so many, & Never,Never,Never in the field of human endevour have so few beaten the might of the British Bullshit propaganda Machine.

Keep it up guys Brilliant.

ross

We are all Alex Salmond
let them know

Katrina MacGregor

I would join this fan club. Thank God for the Yes camp’s sense of humour. ha ha. watch and weep BT.

Andy-B

love this, satirical especially the George Dearie bit Da ra da ra da da da da da I love you baby!

Socrates MacSporran

How dare you folk from outside Ayrshrie poke fun at Dalmellington – that’s the prerogative of those of us who live in Ayrshire!!!

faolie

That wis laugh out loud funny this week. Mags Curran clutching her idol to her breast. Couldnae make it up.

Could ye?

Roddy Macdonald

Best one yet, Jack & James. Well done.

Bugger (the Panda)

@ Socrates MacSporran

? Old Nat ?

John D aka Nkosi

Just classic

john king

Ed Milliband veto’s bedtime saying
“Im not even tired”
Bet his mammy never heard that,
or he’d be sent tae bed wi a sore arse. 🙂

Muscleguy

@Socrates

Can those of use who were born in Ayrshire (my birth certificate says so and I remember it too) also have a go even if we no longer either live there or even sound like it? (got emigrated to NZ aged 6).

john king

Dan Huil says
“Is it true Annabel Goldie was the voice of the Cadbury’s Caramel Bunny in the 80s?”

Yea thanks for that Dan,
the line is a dot to you! 🙁

john king

DerekM says
” Mr Swinney insists his milkshake brings all the boys to the yard ha ha so funny ”

I just hope Greg Moddie hasnt seen it,
he’ll make Ian Taylor look like a pushover. 🙂

john king

Socrates MacSporran says
“How dare you folk from outside Ayrshrie poke fun at Dalmellington – ”

Aye true,
your brass bands nae funny,
Noo Lochgelly,
noo theres a brass band. 🙂

Defo

Best bit of the day, so far.

Please do Dugdale. Her head is way over the parapet.
Maybe her cyber-nat activities ?

Mrs Grimble

Could us D&G folk who live just over the border and pop up to shop in Dallmellington be entitled to the odd wee poke?

Socrates MacSporran

OK – I now declare it to be open season on Dalmellington. Just leave New Cumnock alone.

Outright slagging of Scumnock is also allowed, in fact, I want it made compulsory once we get our FREEDOM!!!!!

I took my grand-son over to Dalmellington for his passport application interview. He came out and said: “Papa, there are more ‘stitchies’ – local speak for the products of in-breeding – up here than we have in our village.”

Defo

The Guardian has it that Carney is having to make “Emergency” plans, but reading through it becomes clear, that what really worries him, & them, is a run on the pound post yes, not our economic wellbeing 🙂

link to theguardian.com

What Carney is making contingency for, is the risk that on the 19th of September Cameron sticks his head in the sand, rather than do what Big Money & the Mandarins will tell him to do, as the expedient, eminently sensible decision, and make an early statement saying CU possible….

AAA Rating ?
Run on the £
Export’s suffer. Imported shiny stuff is dearer.
Debt, & Deficit become evermore expensive, especially socially.
Never mind the chaos of cross border trade we keep hearing about.

And there’s an election next year.

Have they ever given sane reason for their cross party bluff & bluster, ie to protect the rUK from some clear & present danger ?
Or was it really just one of Flippers wheezes, that weren’t done using the joined up thinking strategy.

Imagine the pressure building inside Dishface as the news of Yes comes in. Even after seeing the Secret Poll.

Croompenstein

Dunno about Dalmellington but from what I’ve seen Drongan and Patna look like tough nuts to crack, don’t envy the yes canvassers round that way.

Croompenstein

On the other hand the ‘Yes’ house in Minishant is doing Ayrshire proud, right on the main A77 it has flag pole with huge saltire, big Yes placard and Yes posters in all the windows 🙂

Alex Wright

Sheep Man is 100% real. The nawbags been in hiding since I posted the original on F/B. His names Paul and he works for a roofing company in Edinburgh. This latest offering by the Dateline team is terrific and I await the next offering, hoping that they can feature the twat again.

Roseanne

Brilliant! Fair cheered me up after watching the pathetic jackie bird interview.

Johnny Farrell

I thought it was all real until the sheep guy. Now he just couldn’t be real.

David Whannel

A cracker from Ayrshire link to alastairosborne.weebly.com

Croompenstein

@David – I take it that’s Sandra’s husband well knock me doon wae a feather Labour guy spouts pish..

David Whannel

I believe so, love how dedicated they are to their leaderships, have to wonder about Cumnock, how would Kier Hardie vote?

Macandroid

Dugdale = cybertwat

I am Sparlicsammin

Fairliered

David, he is recently retired as a local government officer for North Ayrshire Council – a “non political” post in the department responsible for running elections.

Achnababan

Just watched Jackie Burd’s interview with the FM on the i-player. He did very well in the face of Ms Burd’s absurd histeronics.

It was clear that with every twitch of her eyes, bob of her head and generally snippy approach she was proclaiming ‘Salmond is a Schister’ – pathetic to watch.

She neither understood the questions she asked nor the answers she received.

Some may say she is a game old burd, but for me, she is nought but a spent hen.

Alastair Darling no more, Danny Alexander no more, Jackie Burd no more…..

Defo

“Mr Redwood said that he found arguments around what constitutes ‘English only’ laws a “bizarre question”.

He said: “We already know and decide what is ‘Scottish business’ so is it not just the same thing?.

“It is just our business in England which they settle in Scotland”.”

link to heraldscotland.com

A ramping up of English nationalism would come in handy right now.

Barontorc

Jackie Bird should take a good long look at her demeanour during the AS interview and it’s pointless to comment any further.

paul in scotland

O/Tcomment image:large

geeo

Utterly brilliant stuff, this sort of satire CANNOT be allowed to stop after the Yes vote.

Some examples of the best original comic satire of politics ever, certainly less subtle than yes minister, but no less genius or funny.

The fact the BT campaign makes these skits believable is the icing on an already funny cake.

After a Yes i would love these guys to become mainstream and get stuck into every politician in Scotland regardless of party allegiance.

1st order of business on 19th september,

If you cannot take being lampooned by these guys you are not fit to sit in an independent SG.

Wee Jimmy

As an outsider looking in (i.e. ex-pat Yes sympathiser), I think there is a an element of truth in the Dateline skit. Based on what I’m hearing from people back in Scotland via telephone and social media, the main issue soft no’s/UDs/DKs have with voting Yes is that they “dinny like that Alex Salmond” or “Alex Salmond is a tube/pleb/idiot/dunderheid/liar”. So regardless of the substance in the arguments for Yes, they are compelled via ‘Ad Hominem’ logic to ignore it and vote No by default. I believe this is something the No camp (i.e. MSM + WM + BT) are now increasingly latching onto and will do so with even more ferocity for the remainder of the run-in. I wouldn’t be surprised to see more of AS on your TV screens – being openly ridiculed of course – for the next month. Now – I’m certain that the same No camp are monitoring social media. How else could you explain that after foodbanks are discussed by the Yes side for a few days on social media, it’s suddenly brought up and re-spun by the No camp a day or two later when CU seemed to be the most important thing to them just prior? So, assuming I’m correct (though tell me if I’m paranoid please) – it seems that the sensible thing for us all to do now, IMHO, is (via the same social media) to call out the Alex Salmond obsession for what it is; a creepy, borderline-voyeuristic fixation with a single person who doesn’t actually represent this movement. The best way to fight ridiculous statements and assertions is via ridicule and satire. At the same time, there needs to be a concerted effort on social media to reinforce that this is not a popularity contest and that Alex Salmond’s name will NOT appear on the voting paper (perhaps a meme with two mock voting papers side-by-side – one representing how BT wants you to perceive the voting paper, and the other showing what the voting paper will ACTUALLY look like). As an IT professional, I’d be happy to do this myself, but I often get told to keep my nose out (by the No people almost exclusively, but I don’t want to p1ss off anyone here).

Bill Brady

Sincere apologies O/T Warning:

Feel free to read past or move to sin bin.

Still reading….

Ok, here we go:

About 2 yrs ago I had a frank exchange on WoS regarding Trident, and as an ex submariner Im sure Im a bit better informed.

I said then that Trident cant be moved easily, most agree with that Im sure. However I asserted that Trident will remain until its approx renewal date which is around 2020-2025. That would suit both parties broadly speaking ofcourse.

RUSI have said it would be possible to relocate in 12 yrs and is financially possible, UK govt all but agree it would take billions and many years and the SNP say its possible to remove the system by 2020.

I would doubt the 12 yrs by RUSI, just consider how long it took to prepare for Trident with Polaris already in place within an established base.

I just wanted folks to be realistic about it and accept Trident may stay in an independent Scotland till around 2020. (The renewal date is 2020 but USA have extended their system to 2025 following surveys.)

The unionists are going to play down Trident as a bargaining chip by citing sources that Trident can be moved quickly and cheaply, we know that isnt the case.

Trident can form part of negoitations but then we knew that.

I also asserted that all HMS Neptune had to do on independence day was simply shut the North & South Gates: I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

For the avoidance of doubt Im totally against Trident, voting Yes and wish you all the best.

Brian Fleming

I’ve not seen the BBC for some time. Is Dateline Scotland for real, or is it just a spoof? It’s like a bunch of schoolkids playing at TV journalism.

Brian Fleming

Oh, I see. It IS a spoof.

Brian Fleming

And a brilliant spoof at that. I was taken in at first and totally horrified. “Has it really got that this bad…..?”

Ken McIntosh

BBC World are having a Dateline London prog this weekend in Glasgow to discuss Indyref. It’s being advertised as ‘Dateline Scotland’! Pure dead brilliant! Hope it gives as many laughs as the REAL Dateline Scotland.


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