Ruth’s Laughter Show
Posted on
October 09, 2012 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
We established earlier today that Ruth Davidson’s leadership of the Scottish Conservatives appears to be some sort of performance-art comedy stunt. With that in mind, we’ve managed to capture some footage of her appearance at the “United Kingdom In Action” session of the Tory conference as part of what appeared to be some sort of improv panel (also featuring Ruth’s double-act straight-man David Mundell and supporting artists from the other three parts of the country), and here present some shots of her barnstorming routine in front of an ecstatic near-sell-out crowd.
Once again, we lazily interactively invite you to suggest captions in the comments.
They’re here all week, folks. And until at least 2015.
The third one with Ruth’s name on it.
He’s trying to find the Tories chances of winning in Scotland.
First pic (ruth7)
“Colin was both awestruck and terrified as the conference hall roof was shorn off completely by the force of the thrusters, bathing everything in an eerie white light as the engines emitted their deep, throbbing hum. The mothership had finally returned.”
I see the dreaded Mark Brown there.
The vast majority of pictures
‘the oil will nearly be gone, the Scots hate us and no more Scottish Labour M.P’s’……
Picture 1: Ruth’s donkey braying laugh sets a delegate’s teeth on edge
Someboy whispered in the ear of guy on the left in second picture “She’s a kickboxing lesbian you know”
Meanwhile at Conference David Cameron advocates devo-max telling them
“And why I’ve always opposed the straight in/out referendum is that I’m neither in favour of out – leaving altogether – nor am I satisfied with the status quo. I want to change the status quo.”
Oops sorry he was talking about the EU.
Ruth 12: I say, I had no idea that young James Krankie filly was so damn stimulating!
Ruth 4: Ed Milliband practises his technique for answering questions on his knowledge of Scotland
I knew her a few years ago (in her BBC/TA days) and she was actually quite personable. We never discussed politics in depth, but certainly shared a few drinkies. It is always disappointing (but in this case unsurprising) to see how an otherwise reasonable/nice person can spew such poison/nonsense.
As an unashamed public servant (GP) I think the proposition that public servants add nothing to society is patently ludicrous (there is no need to expand on this, we all know what public service does/achieves). That she is using such ludicrous figures is astonishing. And yes, there is the delicious irony of her never having had a ‘wealth-creating’ job…
Also, for ‘ruth5’. “maybe if I zoom in closer,the audience will look bigger”.
Sorry.
Picture 9:
Ruth’s keynote speech on Pre-Paid Funeral Plans was going down a storm.
Picture 11 – Margaret Mitchell:
It shooda bin ME!
“And yes, there is the delicious irony of her never having had a ‘wealth-creating’ job.”
Most of the public figures who rattle on about entrepreneurs and the evils of the public sector have never had wealth-creating jobs – the bosses of A4E and Close Protection UK spring to mind. What would they do without government contracts? And that Katie Hopkins who survives on near-daily Five Live appearances (BBC, taxpayer funded). She makes me want to swell the state to gargantuan proportions out of sheer spite.
Picture 16:
Joy unbound as the audience finishes the conference with the customary round of “If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands”
In fact, Ruth Davidson may have passed the point of no return. Various Tory figures and blog commentators, BBC insiders, and gradually even the likes of Alan Cochrane, are now saying privately that her leadership and her party are at the point of a decisive crisis.
Picture One – And in shock news today – the Scottish Conservative Party are still trying to extract Scotlands boot from its arse. The convention looks on in dismay as it becomes apparant that the boot has been kicked so hard up their arse, people are beginning to think that Doc Martins have started making hats.
Commenter. ” the dreaded Mark Brown” I’ve met him in a non-political capacity although he tries to push his Tory views.
How has he deserved your ire?
First pic. I am what i am…..
Seventh pic. Fwawh, any chance of a bit a girl on girl Ruthie?
Fifteenth pic. Yewkay in akshun…..cool
UK in Action? Someone’s had an irony by-pass.
Sorry Rev, but this just isn’t as fun as the one nation tory party conference.
Something much more entertaining about loads of Labour party members outing themselves as the real one British union jack forever Tories in a great communal right-wing love in. Must have been very uplifting for all involved to finally release that pent-up anger at all the benefit scroungers and something for nothing culture they’ve been trying to suppress for years.
Picture 5 [Ruth 3]
Elizabeths fathers punishments were cruel and unusual… that was the last time she would max out his credit card.
Picture 15 [Ruth 4]
New Tory measures to put of immigration by insisting on mandatory attendance of a Tory conference were having the desired effect.
Picture 1.
Why was KD Lang there?
Much gnashing of (false) teeth on Tory Hoose.
Ok, I’ll try…
Ruth1
Adrian had made his very best effort to come across as a young Michael Portillo, but was still struggling with the lips.
Is pic 1 Ruth?
Pic 17 shows 2 microphones but Ruth only had ONE (1 min 30 sec in)
link to bbc.co.uk
Picture no 1 : For fects sake their was more tories at the labour conference.
I GENUINLEY wonder if any of these politicians who spout such nonsense actually sit down and watch themselves afterwords. No yes men telling them how good it was and mollycoddling them. Probably not.
All of them (looking at the blue background):
“Hang on a minute, have we gone to the Labour Party conference by mistake?”
ruth12 & ruth13
Delegates make their entries in the “Guess how many brain cells the current speaker has?” competition.
Ruth12, 12th picture down.
“Tory delegate in shock policy u-turn as he gives two fingers to the right.”
If not that, he comes to his senses and gives David Mundell what he deserves.
That first photo is amazing. We’ve all had photos taken that are less than flattering, but that poor chap is probably never going to attend another conference ever!
I always wonder if Ruth Davidson realises she is just a puppet on a London string. No better than Lamont. No wonder most women don’t bother with politics, though I wish they would because it would not be hard to look good against these two. Thank goodness for Nicola Sturgeon.
Pic 1: Looks like he’s squeezing one out!
First picture
“Beam me up Scotty and let’s head for this northern utopia where everything’s free. “
ruth5
Hubble Telescope fails to find evidence of life onstage
ruth11
Margaret Mitchell: “That could have been me up there. Thank christ no one likes me.”
ruth12
This one’s for Barry Feguson and Allan McGregor
ruth4
The Scotsman’s Bill Jamieson has grown a tache and beard to disguise the fact that his upper lip can’t stretch enough to cover his new teeth, but I find this special move works just as well.
Wallace Bruce @ 10:41,
You think?
I just see someone wishing to go home,,,
orpheuslyre says:
October 9, 2012 at 4:20 pm
In fact, Ruth Davidson may have passed the point of no return. Various Tory figures and blog commentators, BBC insiders, and gradually even the likes of Alan Cochrane, are now saying privately that her leadership and her party are at the point of a decisive crisis
I think the conservatives made a big mistake getting rid of Bella just because support had flatlined under her. Ruth is showing what I suspected at the time, that flatlining is a good result for the Scottish Tories.
Just read this morning that David Cameron is warning us about the extremely tough times ahead. He wants us to take on some sort of British Bulldog attitude through these dark financial times, and how we are all ‘one’ (a bit like Ed’s speech about being one nation. I’m sure there was a guy in Germany with a Charlie Chaplin moustache who said the same thing between 1923 and 1945…now who was that again???)
The debt is still rising. Nick Robinson said to Cameron on the news last night. ‘It isn’t going down, it’s going up, and up, and up. The cuts and tax rises have done sweet FA, Mr Prime Minister.’
This website shows roughly how much the UK debt is at
link to debtbombshell.com
Seriously, We are about to watch Cameron batter into the Welfare Budget. Once that fails (which it probably will, I can’t see how saving £10 Billion a year is going to help), what’s Plan C, since Plan A (tax everything) failed and Plan B (take away all Benefits) will fail…..and still the debt goes up, and up and up.
Surely, there comes a point where the UK really will have to say ‘Oh shiiiiiit!’.
I truly believe if the SNP can get their case across and say, if we are independent, then our debt (taking a 13th of it) would be something around 80 to 100 Billion pounds.
Personally, I would rather contend with 100 Billion than something that is over a trillion.
I honestly do believe that this isn’t the Financial Armageddon that we are in as the news portrays. I think it’s still to come when we reach that tipping point of no return.
And what do Cameon and Miliband say? Cameron wants to remind us of the great times in the Olympics, while Miliband talks about how we are all 1 nation. Why does this sound like the exact words of the captain of the Titanic. Lets remember the good times as the good old ship goes down.
I hope Salmond sells Independence to most of Scotland, because I fear what will happen to us while we are tied to the UK.
Personally….I think the cartel of Big Rich Nations will eventually sit around a table in a dark room and agree to ‘lets chop off 4 zero’s off everyones national debt…the only ones who suffer will be the common man and a bunch of wee mickey mouse companies !!!’
Seriously OT
Call Kay(with an ‘e’) discussing the probably agreement on the referendum. Just heard some 17 year old stating that Scotland should remain dependent as it was ‘broke’ 300 years ago and we (Scotland) haven’t had a government since, so couldn’t manage! Good God, what a sorry reflection on our politically ignorant students.
What has the SNP been doing since 2007!!!!! You stupid @*#@
Sorry, rant over!
I really shouldn’t listen to this cr@p
17a – Some left early to beat the MASSIVE crowds….
Aplinal – yeah, as a long time supporter of reducing the voting age to 16, I must say I’m rather dismayed by how easily young unionists have swallowed the “too wee, too poor, too stupid” message.
The only thing stopping me from thinking the reduction in voting age for the referendum is a bad idea is the knowledge that other unionists prove stupidity has no age limit…
Another caller on Call Kaye gave his reason for young folk to vote No.
“As there are no jobs in Scotland, he has worked for 44 years in England. If we vote Yes, the English might go in the huff and stop Scots from working there. Young voters need to be aware of that.”
So the Union has been working well then?!!!
@Aplinal and Doug
Of course, Call Kaye is so heavily stage managed and vetted that I wouldn’t get too upset about it. My two nieces will be very enthusiastic Yes voters when they vote for the first time in 2014.
The problem, such as it is, lies in the deep-rooted conservatism (small c) of some – not all – teachers in Scotland (I speak from first hand experience). The fact that these conservatives actually cleave to the Labour Party is no paradox. Some – not all – teachers find it too difficult, or too much hassle, or in some cases, too politically off limits, to teach outwith something other than the lazy Unionist framework which I was certainly ‘schooled’ in some twenty five years ago. It’s still there, so it would be no surprise if some of our young people are still imbibing old orthodoxies in the classroom. But there are signs that things are changing..
Juteman – words fail me with that comment. Where do you even start?
Well, how about the fact that, err, they can’t fucking stop us from working down there?
Comments like that just convince me more and more that unionism is entirely anti-intellectual – i.e. unionists are thick as mince. It’s no surprise most creative intellectuals are pro-indy…
@Juteman,
We mustn’t despair, hard as it is when confronted with examples like this. Normally, a researcher would briefly question a caller before they go on air but I think, on this occasion, the researcher must have forgotten to ask the caller the $64,000 question: and your point is caller? I never thought the day would come when I’d say this, but this caller makes ‘wee sausage roll’ Ryan sound like an intellectual titan in comparison. There are some votes that we’re just going to have to write off I’m afraid, but it has to be said, people like this don’t deserve independence!
If people miss Ryan, I notice that mistyping Newsnet’s URL can send you to Bettertogether. Maybe Ryan is still there
Ryan also features briefly – uttering those infamous words – in the introductions to the Scottish Independence Podcasts.
Definitely do not despair. That pish bbc radio show call kayE is set up to promote the BIAS bbc scotland’s agenda and nothing will change that until an Independent Scotland scatters the lot off these viral unionist mercenaries back over the border where seemingly their allegiance or lucrative tax free/reduced salary lies. Hope they are not expecting a warm welcome there in rUK post 2014 as they will not required. More importantly they will definitely not be welcomed in an Independent Scotland.
Off topic slightly…
Can some one direct me to the basis for the Ryan/Sausage role thing?
I’ve read it here (and in other places) but have no idea what its about.
Thanks
@pa_broon,
link to youtube.com
It was one of the early Better Together campaign videos, after their launch in the summer. Ryan is described as a student from Glasgow and, as you’ll see, it’s not a great advert for standards in Scottish higher education. It was made by an American PR company I think, but was subjected to so much ridicule that it was withdrawn, with comments disabled.
Pa… it was in a Better Together launch video about why we are… erm… better together. Some wee nyaff called Ryan was rambling on about wee dogs and sausage rolls which was why he thought we were better off without independence. I’m sure it’s on Youtube somewhere.
I see YYY beat me to it!
It will be interesting, after the SNP conference, to compare the amount of full and empty seats at each event, not to mention the level of excitement in the crowd.
Honestly, I know it’s an independent Scotland that’s bound to turn into a European analogue of North Korea because…of some reason…but the Conservative and Labour Democrats Party (that’s their name, right?) might want to look into those crowd-enthusiasm-monitors that Pyongyang likes so much.
Nervous “holy cripes what is s/he saying?!” laughter from more naive Labour members doesn’t count, though.
@Steven of Songnam,
Haven’t you heard Steven? According to all the political pundits on Britnat TV, David Cameron’s speech today ends the party conference season. All it needs now is for Ian Smart to pop up to tell us that there isn’t going to be an SNP conference!
@YesYesYes
Do you really believe everything you read in the papers? The SNP doesn’t even exist. It’s all a nationalist conspiracy!
(my lord what an awful comment editor is on this website)
Seanair:
Settle down. I’m sure he’s a lovely guy. I have only seen his political side via facebook comments on a friend’s posts, and of course his twitter etc. Not wanting to be unfair, nonetheless he is politically an anti-Scottish scumbag.
@holebender & YesYesYes.
Mmm…
Hopefully an atypical youth, he robbed me of 44 seconds of my life.
😉
The Social Worker & Timelord video from Better Together was good too.
commenter. sorry if you thought I was defending Mark Brown. I just wondered how other people saw him. sInce I don’t do Twitter I haven’ t seen what he says there—but I can imagine!! Not my favourite person….