Objects in the mirror
Posted on
November 30, 2014 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
…are closer than they appear, runs a (slightly depressing) inscription that must by law be engraved on the door mirror of cars in the USA.
Objects in the Telegraph, though, follow different rules. (Thanks, we’re here all week.)
Here’s Alan Cochrane in said organ on 25 September:
And here he is in the same paper today:
Readers might well find themselves pondering that it’s a funny old world where 60/40 is “close” but 55/45 is “a wide margin”. But then in a world where the arch-conservative Scottish political editor of the Torygraph is a close personal confidante and advisor to Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling, who can really say what’s weird any more?
Brown is weird. Darling is weird. Cochrane is weird. Spot a theme?
They actually print that ON the door mirrors?
Wow.
I pray that everyone in Scotland stops supporting the daily Torygraph and all those other media outlets that stop us from being a slave to Westminster.
Morag
and left and right on the steering wheel.
@ fred blogger
Never seen that, but maybe it is recent?
They actually print that ON the door mirrors?
And they have seat belts that close automatically when you get inside the car – bit like the British establishment – it controls you and justifies that by saying your life is safer.
As we saw daily, throughout the indie ref weirdly, they’re not very good with facts and figures.
It has to be remembered of course that thone Cochrane fella has only the barest toehold on reality. He has a much firmer grasp on hypocrisy, smearing, obfuscation, intimidating and offensive bullshit in general.
“Here’s Alan Cochrane in said organ on 25 September:
“It is truly a remarkable situation where the losers – and by a wide margin too – are seeking to put the winners on to the back foot.” ”
Newsflash for Cochers:
Here’s a golden example of what “a wide margin” in a referendum looks like:
link to swissinfo.ch
Bugger (the Panda)
nor have i, i drive by ear, always have done.
by a very wide margin when all is laid before us, we were cheated no defeated.
a wide margin of defeat is 70/30, 60/40 is narrow 45/55 is a hairs breadth, and in the ascendancy.
The Rev writes:
“who can really say what’s weird any more?”
Well, according to various sources quite a substantial number of ‘No voters’ must be feeling a bit “weird” recently:
Wistful
Exasperated
Inconsolable
Reticent
Downtrodden
Or maybe not!
Well turns out the answer was to misdirect and bring in someone whose career couldn’t be damaged any more than it is to take over when Mr Darling was all at sea,note to political parties- this in fact proves that you can change your leader close to election/referendum day.
Could Cochrane be candidate, for this years “Wingy”?
Go easy on old Cochrane. That hate-filled, drink-sodden escapee from the 19th century clearly has a number of mental health issues that need urgent attention.
Can we get him sectioned by a wide margin via Wings?
They didn’t settle it for a generation. 55% is not the settled will of anything but the 55%. It wasn’t enough. It cost them too much to get it and the damage it did to them, their credibility and the reputation of Scotland is still to play itself out.
They needed strength of character to be magnanimous, but they haven’t got that anywhere. They needed to reach out and build bridges, but they are still running their Bettertogether campaign that angers and entrenches the feeling of those who voted yes.
The smith commission failed to deliver. The vow failed to deliver. They are grasping around trying to find a way back to a time before 2007, when they need to figure out how to move forward. Cameron is going to tie the smith commission around UK labours neck and force them to back EVEL.
They had full support of the media. The UK government. Hell even celebrities got in on the act. But they could only manage on 55%. Deep down they know they won the “war” but are losing the peace.
The ones with the most to lose are Scottish labour. Sacrificed to keep the union ticking on for a few more wretched years before it collapses.
Cochrane, Darling & Brown have one thing in common.
SNP bad.
Nothing else matters.
They make it all up as they go along with no reference to what they previously said, and with no regard to what they might find themselves saying in the future.
Here’s the thing which is worrying me. Is the level of media and politician lies, manipulation, alter reality, spin, propaganda, deceit, delusion … new in the last year or so? Or, as I suspect, has it been going all my life and I didn’t really notice it?
It’s almost like a Matrix (the film) revelation.
When Pacific Quay was being built, the BBC issued the contractors with boots and gloves marked “left” and “right”. Eventually some of the workers realised that left meant right and right meant left, and that the BBC were lying. The rest of the workers voted no and still vote labour.
American cars also announce with an annoying bell sound that you have the key in the ignition when the engine is not running.
And another one to let you know that you have just opened the door while the key is still in the ignition.
And yet another to let you know when the lights are on while the key is not in the ignition.
Some even make a bong sound when it gets cold enough to produce a frost.
And almost all make a grating bing/bong sound if the seat belt isn’t clipped in while the key is in the ignition.
The level of stupidity of drivers is assumed to be so low, it is surprising that they allow anyone to drive at all.
This assumption is suspiciously similar to the one that Scottish newspaper editors make.
The whole Cochrane article is astonishing, not just for what AC says, but for what it reveals about how the referendum was conducted – with a journalist effectively acting as a Spad
Lots of expensive little lunches (food lovingly described) with Cameron, Darling et al, while our hero gives them a few hints and tips.
But this is the killer, (with reference to Gordon)
“…but more importantly, only he could have delivered this promise and got people to believe that something was in the offing.”
‘Got people to believe’ suggests that AC knows full well the whole charade is smoke and mirrors, but he’s certainly not about to say as much. An arch-Tory journalist colluding with Brown in creating a mirage to deceive the people of Scotland.
So much for democracy.
link to telegraph.co.uk
Cochers also refers to himself as a ‘council hoose boy’.
Attending Grove Academy and living in the Ferry; shome mishtake shurely?
Although if true it could explain why the rest of his parental family are supposedly traditional Labour supporters.
galamcennalath….sorry to inform you, but it has been going on since the Media was invented. Most of us wake up eventually, my own awakening took place with the demolition of the three skyscrapers in NYC in 2001, and the subsequent Media hype.
Probably wise to mention all the different restaurants; it’ll double the sales of the book. But he is a free marketeer, Tory scum, ripping off the Michelin guide is what they do.
The other way of looking at it is that Darling is hot stuff; to have managed to get his 60:40 expectations down to 55:45 is the sort of success normally reserved for the Hibs team
G H Graham
the preacher theme, “galvanize OUR support,” (flock), said as if support is an entitlement.
@Morag
“They actually print that ON the door mirrors?”
If you’ve ever seen “Jurassic Park”, there was an amusing reference to it during the T-Rex chase sequence when it was printed on the rearview mirror of the jeep with the pursuing T-Rex reflected in it
The ones that really make me lose faith in the human race are the vans in this country with “Pull to open door” printed on the side door handle.
Then again since the referendum result, I haven’t really had much faith in the intelligence of the remaining No voting percentage out there…
Scottish Conservative Conference 2013:
“LABOUR MP Alistair Darling has received a standing ovation at Scottish Conservative Party conference…”
“She also suggested Mr Darling’s late great uncle Sir William Darling, a former Tory MP for Edinburgh South, was “looking down benignly like a friendly spirit”.
link to scotsman.com
How did this guy end up in the Labour Party.
Here’s looking forward to an “Objects on the Windscreen” blog next May.
Are we surprised at anything in the MSM any more ???????
Cochrane is just the most transparent of an exceptionally poor team.
At least he doesn’t pretend to be anything other than a toadying Tory.
If he wants to know what a wide margin really is go out and ask the 55% how many of them would vote yes if the referendum was tomorrow.
“Near is far, far is near” in the new politic of post-referendum Scotland. And its commentators, both near and far, are far too wide of the mark to make sense of. Independence now, please.
Cockers is nuts and liar. He says stop calling him a Tory boy as he’s not a Tory boy, all the time and he says stuff like vote NO because there’s was no way his offspring in England and Scotland would become foreigners to each other, which is huge lie and one he peddled a lot. Torygraph may still be read by those who think they run teamGB but its written by a bunch of clowns. The Press and Journal in Aberdeen is read by the mega rich that really own Scotland.
I think a fair bit of what went on will crawl out of the woodwork over the next year or two and with Darling and Brown retiring, well politicians get a bit more candid when the feet are up.
is this a case of unionists suffering, smoke and mirrors fatigue?
objects in the mirror are closer than they appear…ive just wrote INDEPENDENCE on my mirror
@Oneironaut,
The one that always amuses me is “This page is intentionally blank”
Usually appearing in the middle of the page!
@scunnered
Brown, Darling and the Labour party in Scotland loved doing the Tories’ dirty work during the referendum. They won a Pyrrhic victory. They genuinely think that the Labour party should be congratulated and that it deserves to be supported by the Scottish public. They are deranged, though not so much as to stand in May’s election.
The theme of these Unionist ‘journalists’ and ‘internet trolls’ Cochrane, Torquil, Hotdog, Kezia (or however it’s spelt), Grahamski, Kelly – the list goes on…
They are mostly angry, self-seeking arseholes who struggle to justify their hypocritical positions whilst doing their utmost to denigrate Scotland at the expense of Westminster.
They also have a label on the battery saying do not drink this.
It also makes you wonder if this ligger in particular cooked up their devo-max THE VOW fraud which he both mocks and laughs at any suckers that voted NO because of it which makes sneery sense to Tory boys across teamGB. He’s unwittingly funny though, eg Red Tory boy Rory Bremner got more and more vote NO aggressive as 18th Sept got closer but here’s Cockers on another of their “sessions” which sound rather gross,
“March 14 2013
Did another session with Rory Bremner, who’s still having a go at Scottish politics. He talked in a funny voice for several minutes and I hadn’t a clue who it was. Apparently, it was Alex Salmond; I’d never have guessed.”
Bremner pleaded with Crash Gordon to stand for Labour in Scotland greatness too.
It beggars belief that some people are STILL providing links directly to Unionist newspapers without archiving them.
I’ve got now i don’t even bother reading any posts which contain direct links to Unionist newspapers – links which haven’t been archived.
For those who persist in doing this are you aware that by not archiving the article you want to draw attention to you are helping these sites to survive and flourish?
Are you aware that by not archiving the article you are trying to draw attention to you are also running the risk of allowing that articles content to be changed?
WOS has a massive readership so every time you post a direct link to one of these Unionist rags you are potentially sending thousands upon thousands of support hits to the enemy.
Please think about that before posting links – archive them.
It doesn’t take a minute to archive something.
@ Stoker honey – give details of how to do it dearest, it would make for a shorter comment xx
With reference to everyone’s comments about what American cars do can I just say my partner and I love American cars, I think you know and understand now why I am the Village Idiot in these parts.
To be fair though at least all the yank cars we have ever owned have had amazing room in the engine compartment, no scrapping or scuffing of knuckles when working on these engines.
In fact some of them even have a connector specifically so that you can connect the engine up to your house mains, it keeps certain parts of the engine warm, so that in the very cold mornings you just unplug your car and it starts first time. 
As far as the Mad Trio go, I can only assume that they make their decisions on when a 55%/45% result is close or not based on the results supplied by the calculator they obviously have borrowed from the BBC!
heedtracker
He is a Tory boy. Started work at DC Thomson’s,(Courier etc.),moved to Daily Express, then the Scotsman/Scotland on Sunday, then the Telegraph. How Tory can you get? Also married to a woman who is to the right of Nigel Farage, so AC even has to talk Tory when he gets home.
Maybe it’s a juggernaut of SNP MPs thundering towards Westminster in May. They wont like it up em Captain Mainwaring sir.
It’s taken me a few days to fully comprehend the extent and depth of the Smith Commission con. The Emperor really has no clothes. It’s a staggeringly crass piece of lying propaganda to pretend that this involves any meaningful increase in powers whatsoever. We have to find some way of contradicting the establishment narrative and get the truth in front of people. What can we do?
BtP says
“They also have a label on the battery saying do not drink this.”
Tried it then?
ahl, eh get ma overalls.
I did once but I was caught by the polis and they charged me.
@Morag:
I suppose someone sued some car maker because he/she crashed their car misestimating the distance of the following car, and the judge decided some warning should be engraved in every side mirror.
I am surprised it’s not written ‘Not fit for pets’ on the door of US microwave ovens.
@G H Graham:
You mean ‘so high’?
Morag & BtP:
They’ve been a feature on US mirrors for as long as we’ve had a parliament in Edinburgh (1999 when I first drove in the States).
Maybe Ian B can provide us with the bookies odds for Flipper and Gordonzilla getting their vermin robes after New Year and maybe now Cockers will be sneaking into the reckoning for a red leather seat too.
That’s SHOCKING JK.
I’m right behind you, whaur’s ma overalls!
Seanair,
His misses still writes for The Courier, and a nasty piece of work she is too, in fact these two have a perfect marriage,made in HELL!.
What perplexes me is although journalists will naturally have their own political leanings , why are the majority going out of their way to promote and sustain the ‘elite’ millionaires at Westminster?
Surely Nottinghill or the fields of Eton are as far removed from the Marcus Gardhams and Alan Cochranes as it is for the rest of us?
So is it envy , aspiration or just cow- towing to the system?
How degrading can it be to be taking your orders from the likes of Mcternan or Brown, Osbourne or Carmichael?
Jeez I may not have much but at least I ve got some integrity left .
Regarding the Cameron…sorry…Smith Report, you just have to look at what powers were being asked for in the submissions by the charities and organizations that tackle poverty, inequality, unemployment etc. to see what a con the Smith Commission was.
The STUC, Citizen Advice Scotland, Shelter, SCVO, the Poverty Alliance, Child Poverty Action Group, Oxfam Scotland. If you read their submissions you see that the Smith Report devolved NONE of the powers they wanted devolved in terms of taxation, social security, employment, the minimum wage,m equality etc.
They deal with these problems at the sharp end every day, and got NONE of the powers they recommended. Yet Labour will continue to cry crocodile tears over these issues and cite these organisations when it suits them.
When it came to a choice over backing these organisations in calls to devolve powers to fight poverty and misery, or siding with the Tory Cabinet to maintain the status quo and try and stifle the SNP, Labour chose the latter option.
Sadly, the Labour Party is effectively the biggest and most dangerous barrier in the fight against social inequality in Scotland today and they MUST go!
From a few months ago{
“Private Eye reported that Alan Cochrane, who runs the Scottish edition of the paper, was in line for the payment if the referendum result was 60 percent to 40 per cent No. If the outcome was closer, the magazine claimed, he would only receive £10,000.”
He must have been upset at only getting £10k – I wonder who paid it?
@ seanair, he sure is. He’s just one more tory boy capitalist running dog lackey/union jock etc, with lots and lots of royals groveling to boot. Cockers says he met Gordon Brown who thinks George Kerevan is a “trot.” Cockers is very excited about meeting Crash but the interview says so much about Gordon Brown and red Tory boys from Scotland, giant chips on their creepy shoulders.
“He’s actually read my bit of the book and cross-questioned me carefully about my background, slagged off poor old Kerevan for being a Trot, and interrogated me about my family, especially the girls.
He said he’d been offered a place at Oxford but chose to go to Edinburgh. “I wish now that I had gone. I think I missed something by not going.” I said he hadn’t done badly, PM and all.”
The most unpopular unelected teamGB PM ever and he didn’t have the balls to go for a GE when he finally got to No.10. How did we lose to this bunch of reprobates, oh yes, the BBC stepped up big time…
Here you go Paula, just for you and the others.
(1)-Copy the URL of the article you want to link to.
(2)-Paste it into the red area on this link:
link to archive.today
(3)-Click on the ‘submit url’ part at end of red section.
(4)-Give it a few seconds to load.
(5)-Now copy and paste that page onto the post you are compiling.
It might be a good idea to keep/bookmark the link at No2 for any future use.
john king says:
30 November, 2014 at 7:17 pm
BtP says
“They also have a label on the battery saying do not drink this.”
Tried it then?
I did once but I was caught by the polis and they charged me.
Did you spend a night in the cells?
They also have a label on their knickers with C&A written on it
I ignore Cochrane’s paper and his views, his column and I will ignore his book, so won’t waste my time commenting on his witterings. In the words of Morrissey, “they say nothing to me about my life”.
I was thinking about the Smith Comission report. Lets consider the measures put forward originally as 1 Smith Comission Unit, and the filleted version after the UK cabinet took a bite out as 0.75 SCU, and after the Commons and Lords have filleted it further as 0.5 SCU.
How many (0.5)SCU would we need to achieve Devo-Max or Home Rule? Hard to quantify but 40? 50? Perhaps more?
For Gordon Brown to be have a shred of integrity the answer would need to be 2.
I can’t wait for 40 or 50 SCUs. Indy would have had the power of that and more. And if the population are unwilling to have a seperate armed forces, foreign policy and embassies, HELLO! We could be allies with rUK! And we can share embassies or use EU embassies FFS.
How frustrating and wasteful it would be to spend the next 300 years tortuously fighting for 40 or 50 Smith’s or Calmans or constitutional conventions.
We should have taken the chance when we had it but that is done. SSP, SNP and Scottish Greens, Commonweal and all the Yes groups need to weld themselves thegither and fight for this. Enough time has been wasted already.
Have a great week Wingers. You were right in September and you are right now.
With all this talk about batteries going on I sense we are in for an electrifying experience tonight!
Don’t worry I’ve grabbed ma overalls and ahm oot the dooor!
Wing mirror on Father Dougal’s car from Father Ted – “Objects in the mirror are behind you.”
Stoker honey – can you just re-post that every now and again? Serious sweetie.
Cockers had his bonus to think about …..20K for a 60/40 result and 10K for anything less…..
So when he says wide and narrow he probably means his bonus as well as his views
@Lesley-Anne:
Why not try spiritualism and try to communicate with the long dead soul of Alessandro Volta?
Just picked this link up, by a commenter, over at NNS:
WRITING OFF SCOTLAND explores the research of Dr David Patrick into press bias during the independence campaign.
Apologies’ if it has already been posted.
There must be some sort of writing award Cochranes column could be nominated for.
The idea started out as a joke but… it would be nice to have his column nominated for an important fiction writing award.
Paula Rose says:
Stoker honey – can you just re-post that every now and again? Serious sweetie.
Just make sure that when you re-post Paula you use the Royal Mail and don’t use one of those other private mailing companies otherwise you’ll fall foul of the Royal Mail unions much like Murph the Smurph and no one wants to see you follow Murph the Smurph anywhere these days.
link to heraldscotland.com
AuldA says:
@Lesley-Anne:
Why not try spiritualism and try to communicate with the long dead soul of Alessandro Volta?
I think someone around here is trying to ramp up the voltage a bit are they not?
Overalls on and door opened.
I forgot me flat cap last time!
osakisushi says:
The idea started out as a joke but… it would be nice to have his column nominated for an important fiction writing award.
How about the NoTaSh LiCo award Osaki?
What you haven’t heard of the NoTaSh LiCo award?
I thought EVERYONE knew about the NoTaSh LiCo award. Why it is the No-one Talks Shite Like Cochrane award of course!
@Gerry Parker
“The one that always amuses me is “This page is intentionally blank”
Usually appearing in the middle of the page!”
I like those ones too. Keep thinking: “It’s not blank though, they’ve put that on it!”
@john king
”
BtP says
“They also have a label on the battery saying do not drink this.”
Tried it then?
ahl, eh get ma overalls.
I did once but I was caught by the polis and they charged me.
“
Like that other bloke they caught eating fireworks?
They let him off!
*gets overalls and runs for the nearest exit to escape the lynch mob…*
@ caz-m at 6.13
Why is Darling in the Labour Party? I was told nearly 30 years ago that a close relative of his considered him to be a Tory, who having set his sights on a Scottish seat, realized that Labour provided the more reliable route to that.
It sounded plausible then; even more so now.
I remember the inscription in the movie Jurassic park where it’s a marauding Dinosaur in the mirror.
In November 2000, Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32 foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having joined the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the Winnie left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the handbook that he could not actually do this. He was awarded $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago.
Sadly this story has been thoroughly debunked but it made me laugh when I first heard it.
It’s a long time since I saw the film, and I don’t remember that part. In fact, although I drove a friend’s car in Michigan in 2008, I don’t remember seeing anything written on the mirrors.
The best “daft Yank” story I heard was a guy who bought one of those Winnebago camping truck things. Apparently you could access the living part from the driver’s area. Anyway it had an automatic cruise control setting and he got on the motorway, set the cruise control, and then went into the back to make a cup of coffee.
Of course the thing crashed. He then sued the manufacturer for not making it clear that the driver had to be behind the wheel at all times, even when the cruise control was set. Horrifyingly, I think he actually won.
Dang, I posted without reading the very last comment before mine! Bob has more detail and sadly he also says the story has been debunked. I laughed when I heard it though.
(Is it maybe not true that you can go from the driver’s area into the living area without getting out of the vehicle?)
The mother of a schoolfriend of mine used to say about a person who told lies, “When yon ane tells ye a lie it’s like whan the rest o us say, “God Bless ye”. I think it was her personal version of, “Tell the truth an shame the Deil”
O/T smile everyone – festive season approaching – ideal gift for all loved ones of the unionist faith.
link to eurofree3.wordpress.com
With thanks to bella caledonia link to bellacaledonia.org.uk
all suggestions welcome for Ni (DUP and orange Order), UKIP etc for forthcoming posts!!
All contributions will be gratefully acknowledged!
Not just cars, incidentally; all of the Harleys that I ever worked on had this on their factory mirrors.
Who’s going to admit to reading the “Mirror”?
Maybe the SG could legislate to inscribe the Declaration of Arbroath on car mirrors in Scotland, thus obliterating all views of headlight flashed alarm signals from the clapped out Westminster bangers tail-gating them.
How do you galvanise your support?
You immerse them in molten zinc.
I watched a movie last night that had a man who had believed his own inflated sense of self importance, realise his once proud journalism profession had truly let the public down. At an opportune moment, he stares into the camera and says
“Somewhere along the way, the NEWS forgot its job, to hold those in power up to scrutiny so they dont get out of control…but what happens when those in power control the NEWS!”
If Ron Burgundy can see it, surely everyone else can!
@Morag
Found it on Youtube
link to youtube.com
I’ve never actually seen a vehicle with a cruise control option myself. Mostly because they’d be rendered useless in this country.
From a technical viewpoint, I only know it’s designed to lock the steering in a “straight line” position and keep the vehicle at a constant speed.
Designed for use in those big desert areas like Nevada where the roads run straight for miles upon miles and you can drive for hours on end without encountering any other traffic. So it acts like an “automatic pilot” of sorts.
Trying it on a road with lots of traffic or any bends in it is just asking for trouble…
Scratch that previous reply, I was thinking of something else.
Cruise control just controls the speed, keeping it at a set level without the need to constantly use the accelerator.
Supposed to help avoid driver fatigue during a very long journey.
Still doesn’t help if you’re not watching the road though
we have to ensure that we maintain our momentum and our unity and show the British Establishment there will be no more forelock pulling…
10% is a victory and I would have and did campaign with a dream result like this in mind.
What we need to do is not let them off the hook cos as you say we are closer than they would like us to appear!
The genie of social justice and self determination is well and truly out of the Pandora’s box (ha ha)
Now to show them at the level of MP and MSP level on every occasion.
They may threaten and they may mock but they cannot kill the idea any more in Scotland!
Time to show the English and anyone else watching that the BBC may not televise our revolution but it’s on and we must be a beacon of that..
If I could ask Lord Smith a question it would be, “can you give me one example from your report which was not a lowest common denominator position?”
Reference:
“This won’t be a lowest common denominator deal. It will be an agreement for substantial devolution of powers.”
link to m.stv.tv