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Archive for the ‘previously on WoS’


A better world 5

Posted on March 10, 2013 by

This is why Gran Turismo games make me sad.

Racing games are one of the few remaining mainstream genres where (with the exception of the Need For Speed series and a handful of others) the player plays as themselves, rather than as a predefined character in a story. As a result, personalities are rather thin on the ground – if anything, the cars are the stars.

But nobody wants to read 800 words about the Nissan Skyline (nobody who doesn’t urgently need drowning in a bucket, anyway), so instead let's focus our attention on something altogether more beautiful, in every possible way.

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Why Ben Kuchera is a dickhead 23

Posted on January 30, 2013 by

[This piece was originally titled "Why Piracy Is Good" when I wrote it in August of 2004. I figured I'd make it gratuitously offensive clickbait this time, just for teh funz. If you don't understand the new title, start here.]

It's weird how the simplest games can have the longest stories. Today we're going to talk (well, I'm going to, anyway) about a couple of games (well, four games, but we'll get to that) that are about as Zen-basic as it's possible for electronic entertainment to be.

They're a pair of games which could be played by the one-armed dishwasher from Robin's Nest (one for the mums and dads, there), a duo that require all the brainpower of a starving dog pondering the best course of action to take with a pound of sausages that's just fallen out of an old lady's shopping bag right under his nose.

And yet, by the time we're done we'll have covered inspiration, plagiarism, moral flexibility, flagrant copyright infringement, public-spiritedness, cultural history, corporate pragmatism, collective short-sightedness and the proudest moment in your correspondent's career to date. Which is a lot of stuff, so let's get on or we'll be here all day.

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The Greatest Rock’n’Roll Stars 2

Posted on April 14, 2010 by

Malcolm McLaren RIP. This is a version of a piece I originally wrote for WoS a few years ago, reprinted in tribute to one of the world's great chancers.

The world would have been a much more interesting place if he'd managed to become the Mayor of London.

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Why Tetris isn’t a puzzle game 10

Posted on March 31, 2010 by

It's weird how bad people are at looking even a tiny bit below the surface. All you have to do is quietly mention in passing somewhere that Tetris, Columns, Bejeweled or any of their millions of clones and derivatives aren't actually "puzzle games", and all hell breaks loose.

Even nowadays, with a resurgence in indie games making abstract graphics (relatively) popular again, most gamers angrily insist that if something doesn't look like a traditional spaceship, it can't be a spaceship.

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Six rules football should copy from rugby 8

Posted on March 07, 2010 by

With a tremendous sense of comic timing, the International Football Association Board this week ruled (despite the votes of the English and Scottish FAs) against any possibility of even experimenting with the use of goal-line technology, almost at the same minute as Birmingham City were denied a clear goal in their FA Cup quarter-final against Portsmouth that might have kept them in the competition.

It’s embarrassing that in the modern age such crucial refereeing errors, so simple to rectify, can still see teams knocked out of a nation’s biggest cup tournament. What’s more embarrassing still is that another sport has successfully demonstrated just how easily many of the niggling issues that dog the thankless task of football officiating can be solved.

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World Turned Upside Down 8

Posted on February 23, 2010 by

or how one record changed my whole life.

(To enjoy this feature TO THE EXTREME!, install the excellent Spotify and click the song titles to hear the songs. Failing that, I’ll just have to try to paint you a picture of some sounds, but made with words instead of paint.)

In the heady atmosphere of 1985-1986, I never thought I’d live to see the day when The Jesus And Mary Chain – musical revolutionaries, performers of shambolic 20-minute sets of hellish white noise and inebriated chaos, banned from Student Unions across the country because of their concerts’ tendency to end in (sort-of) riots, scruffy council-estate urchins from the industrial wastelands of West Central Scotland – would be having their music celebrated and given away free with copies of The Times.

I guess if you’re right, and if you wait patiently enough, the world sometimes comes round to your way of thinking eventually.

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    • agent X on The People You Most Suspected: “The accounts are available here https://s3.eu-west-2.amazonaws.com/document-api-images-live.ch.gov.uk/docs/1RZdFh6ggX1UyDhRxGdsuxejFZ3NASC1pdH8YVRtN3M/application-pdf?X-Amz-Algorithm=AWS4-HMAC-SHA256&X-Amz-Credential=ASIAWRGBDBV3I7Y3FTTQ%2F20241112%2Feu-west-2%2Fs3%2Faws4_request&X-Amz-Date=20241112T204610Z&X-Amz-Expires=60&X-Amz-Security-Token=IQoJb3JpZ2luX2VjEDcaCWV1LXdlc3QtMiJIMEYCIQCKVFKH7uz%2F%2B9YO2T9VI3Y8ysGOsX73rjstGSj8JavxlQIhAIYGMgKzY6G3wiW%2F25ty4uuQCg4kuVnxgbUUbn4QDVIeKsMFCMD%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2F%2FwEQBRoMNDQ5MjI5MDMyODIyIgzik8KNtYYUlDV6P3sqlwWej204b7X63TwRy0H%2BHlUpqyF7cwoF5e333MrriqAPNES4ts7JRTiVs0AoaYsTuiGFiQiOYcQf7M607uMNG5qeycNoCY0cZYSKN6%2FhpAd2hPWWC6ZUN7mhBjP7IxqYkF6Izmm1rZ0pibOr4S9idhUgrC%2B0hxSvAIyPnN17ojxhF3%2BTD1e66pqI29RO9u8%2FhvA%2BZbXmfefS46lSaoO%2BdzXJE3d0j%2BSMetGj4Pn6zIdgmDgvQ%2BHESG%2FZfzJ8DY7D96A4VfNPqH1Ndfz5Xx6PmIf6o4hNtdfBU2eeYl7rbsv4NiXFFY3mnrzj%2BGrqVQjcOo40WpcIBEn9xQ%2FDlaK3h%2FJ2hLR4AX2cBgL2cxK7aXeMegduvPrfOWk35eURZfE0RF5ffVF3B4TEhXC3k9hj0NSs7vSxLn1qII50KcQFrumHz5EPSD5Qy0O7leNiKYICSDbGHu1ghipFNvvg45NfuJDQZZdoeFPazVVzTzuoJqWgpqqnuh9K6XaJXlhvbu58NNGWAXqiAxIqzdbEYedG5n6QugzBJ7Lx2psFnBcg41u2CjeoRKdKFaaDByjib%2Fawc6UzJhh2thYdNBuwF8wmyvZ28OWduscleom8CQLJlkdJBPeSj3gRM5bzEVyX%2BWgY95L7RihjJ2vHpXO40AXy6tFX6%2BVybtJ1IBfEPL7pm75Y7p0XwHKf5mdE2%2FUtHUmEHf4tMQJtJqnsplBqU9GKq7pCD13FSi90J9UI5bY8drU%2BoknlPRxIRHntSXasnsXrOZKoj5S36EAkpOqEAEh5qqhv3M6%2BfWLnYLnHVotdiZssv5fnFabraFBzQgbPkyi1agBDiBSdj5fkmBpf%2BgojsQkmdjkVKkIWe3SpwtB%2FN6C9kZMyg72FAQgw88zNuQY6sAELieQPwAuOD%2BY5kwtf3ooEwhDoWliXY1yWdXXqcmOteKgDtyOo5oH2IJQ8ktQDDJSL72Jg1TWuY6VZKVp%2Frd6IM%2FFWhHW0e6ant%2BkxXgjApl46BwzBpBavdGVCaAOtJ2l0XUhVkqMoar0fllulKjdxei2dHyWkUBaSntD3xnmIOyzDleyklh9inEmjL1jsEtR9zTMzbrXqmj5UIh6TQJdoIwR7pOO4Nq%2BNm6yCNBuk5A%3D%3D&X-Amz-SignedHeaders=host&response-content-disposition=inline%3Bfilename%3D%22companies_house_document.pdf%22&X-Amz-Signature=face822a20ba8f7741548cff76e91b9eb200073002e4ad87b3045c0e94334a56Nov 12, 20:47
    • Hatey McHateface on The People You Most Suspected: ““simply a realist” Naw, a defeatist. Maybe people need to find out more about their parents and grandparents lives. They…Nov 12, 20:39
    • Ruairidh on The People You Most Suspected: “What are they spending all that money on?Nov 12, 19:47
    • Alistair on The People You Most Suspected: “The privately educated covers all of the above.Nov 12, 19:21
    • Chas on The People You Most Suspected: “Throughout history smaller disciplined groups of people all too easily defeated the disorderly masses. The elite (not necessarily politicians) knew…Nov 12, 19:14
    • Willie on The People You Most Suspected: “Forgive me but are Boaby extenders legit. Cock stretchers for those he think Boaby is a girl. Or what about…Nov 12, 19:10
    • Martin on The People You Most Suspected: “This will only continue with sturgeon controlling everything. The fact that she has submitted an application for Holyrood 2026 means…Nov 12, 18:20
    • twathater on The People You Most Suspected: “And that is the rub of the matter Liz ,these clowns ,and I mean ALL of them throw our money…Nov 12, 18:08
    • twathater on The People You Most Suspected: “WHIT? a good man , a fucking corrupt ,spineless, deviant and pervert supporting piece of faeces, nae wonder Scotland is…Nov 12, 17:58
    • Hatey McHateface on The People You Most Suspected: “before someone in authority finally says “no more” Hang on – it’s the ones in authority who are saying “more…Nov 12, 17:46
    • Hatey McHateface on The Show Goes On: “I suppose it’s harmless enough, if it’s working for you – it is 2024 after all, even in Scotland. Nothing…Nov 12, 17:33
    • Hatey McHateface on The Show Goes On: “Good gravy! Another poster with pricks on his mind. Take a cold shower, in case you start slavering about Zelly…Nov 12, 17:28
    • James on The People You Most Suspected: “And to you, ya fud.Nov 12, 17:25
    • Effijy on The People You Most Suspected: “Perhaps if the SNP leadership tried binding their heads things could get better.Nov 12, 17:24
    • twathater on The Show Goes On: “Chas do you get HARD every time you think about Professor Baird , you seem to focus on his every…Nov 12, 17:17
    • Liz on The People You Most Suspected: “We the public have no way to curtail the Scot gov. It’s our fucking money and they spend on the…Nov 12, 17:12
    • Robert Matthews on The People You Most Suspected: “FYYFCNov 12, 17:05
    • twathater on The Show Goes On: “Thir aw getting panicy that their place on the gravy train might be at risk, the comments on the daily…Nov 12, 17:00
    • Mark Beggan on The People You Most Suspected: “Visiting some friends over the Halloween period I seen their kids dressed up to go to a party. The average…Nov 12, 16:52
    • James on The People You Most Suspected: “Because the unionist parties are all signed up to this stuff. In fact it was ‘Labour’ that started the ball…Nov 12, 16:41
    • James on The People You Most Suspected: “Labour. LibDems. Greens. SNP. LEFTIST!? ROTFLMFAO!!Nov 12, 16:38
    • Campbell Clansman on The People You Most Suspected: “Leftist governments throughout the western world take hard-earned money from the taxpayers to fund this nonsense.Nov 12, 16:25
    • James on The Show Goes On: “Aye they’ll be splitting their time between there and here. Couple of candidates just a few posts above yours….the usual…Nov 12, 16:24
    • James on The Show Goes On: “Well said, Robert!Nov 12, 16:19
    • James on The Show Goes On: “As always more like.Nov 12, 16:17
    • John C on The People You Most Suspected: “Trump picked up loads of votes on this issue and yet, the Democrats refuse to engage with the issue which…Nov 12, 15:39
    • Iain C on The People You Most Suspected: “If populist means not mutilating kids then I’m all fo it.Nov 12, 15:38
    • John C on The People You Most Suspected: “A friends daughter (transman even though she’s 5 foot and clearly female) used binders before she had surgery. She has…Nov 12, 15:33
    • Shug on The People You Most Suspected: “What gets me is the unionists in the parliament are not kicking this ball straight into the face of Swinney.…Nov 12, 15:12
    • Jason Smoothpiece on The People You Most Suspected: “Outrageous behaviour by a school children safety should come first in schools. the problem may be that the head teachers…Nov 12, 15:03
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