Ontae plums
Posted on
January 10, 2015 by
Chris Cairns
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Aye, the Three Plums works 🙂
Excellent Chris .
A good insight into the workings of SLab and JM
For whom the bells toll
[…] Ontae plums […]
Anybody got a pound?
The Fruit Loop Machine!
Won’t it just alwys come up with lemons?
Love the bony hand 🙂
John King it only takes pound notes. Coz Jim’s pyoor Scotttish ken.
Nice one Chris a political bandit plays the one armed bandit.
If he gets 3 SNP policies in a line he just adds 1000 to try and win
[…] Ontae plums […]
I think they should up their offer to punters of Scottish Labour membership for just one smackerooni. They should throw in a free set of Lidl toy bagpipes in McTernan tartan as an added sweetener –
GOLD BROTHERS Kids’ Playable Bagpipes
link to lidl.co.uk
So’s its ah Labour slot machine ,it must be Grape’s on awe the reels & we,re the won’s on top o them,Tramping on the Grape’s of Wrath.
@desimond
Back in the day during my PhD in NZ there was a researcher in the dept who asked anyone going to the US to bring back Fruit Loops as they were not available in NZ. It seems rats will do anything for a Fruit Loop . . .
Labour will be in operation in Fairgrounds this year to raise funds they,re in charge of the Wheel m Oot stall.
Can he claim the pound back, on his expenses?
Labours holed up hiving a cooncil of war meeting
with the Genitalia,
DimJim Dick
McTernan Dick
McDowell Dick.
KEZIA you were sent oot fur TeaBags no fur Pussys in Boots,
Fanny.
Excellent toon. Fair comment on performance to date.
I shudder to think what false promise Jackpot represents.
Cant wait for Dennis the Menace and Gnasher style gags for Jim and his pet dog McTernan
Genius
What does he win with 3 eggs in a row?
In barely 4 months time they could be gone from Scotland so the crackpots will get more and more desperate. No Prof Curtice Murphy saves Slab skins for another few years of troughing poll yet?
Sums up these labour arse wanks to a tee. They will say anything.
@ Rigmac7 08:20am
lol.. it could be a row of three hairy plums..
Kerr-ching, three hairy plums for one hairy half arsed Labour Policy. An only for one shiny pound.. (maybe the puggy will pop out yearly memberships too)
What does he win with 3 eggs in a row?
A trip to the dry cleaners.
I think you already knew that 😉
Ronnie, really. Naughty boy, you’ll hiv Paula Rose oan yir case noo. I hope ye hivnae goat her too excitit.
I widnae be surprised if that’s how the actually dae things, it kinda makes sense oot o’ a’ the pish that they spout.
Russian Roullete Anyone?
I’m not sure if Jim Murphy’s policy team consider plums to be a winning line? They do seem to be buzzing from a ‘stimulated’ Adrenalin high, casting aside their natural conservative caution of sticking to the tried and tested line of “SNP BAD”.
Here’s another man with a plan. 😉
A commission on funding local government? Murphy will set up two, expected to sit day and night, every day of the week, until each council is as rich as Donald Trump.
link to holyrood.com
He’ll need to save up a few nudges though. In case it accidentally lands on an SNP policy. Can’t have Slab agreeing with those Nasty Nats can we?
I wonder which MSM ligger will be brave enough to ask how the Murphster plans to get all his grand policy pronouncements through the London HQ mincing machine.
Let me know if any of you find out and I’ll pull up a comfy chair for the spectacle.
Calgacus says:
10 January, 2015 at 10:33 am
What does he win with 3 eggs in a row?
Ah duck duck duck, an naebodys paying a diver,no even a £.
Great work Chris.
Jim’s hand reminds me of ET’s hand reaching out for help from the mothership. Well, I suppose they are both aliens from another world.
There once was a fruit shop in the possil area of Glasgow called Yir Ontae Plums i think it is called Florist Gumps now
Appearing soon at a venue near you –
“Big Dim Jim & the Toc H Lamps”.
Alexicon 10:40am
Three eggs- that’s enough to make a fine labour dog’s breakfast from three poached SNP policies.
Jim needs to tell us about how life in Iraq has improved
Suicide attacks against security checkpoints and Shiite worshipers killed at least 23 people in Iraq on Thursday, officials said. The attacks took place in Yusufiya, south of Baghdad; in Samarra, north of Baghdad; and in western Baghdad. Attacks against the Shiite majority and security forces occur almost daily in Iraq. No one immediately claimed responsibility for the attacks on Thursday.
Three melons and a dug.
Ronnie, you are upsetting me dearest, me and all the Dick’s who are a Border Family, you know one of those who used to go reiving. I am only one by adoption but there is enough fun made of us of that ilk without fellow Scots doing so, please find another name for diddies.
In typical Labour way of policy making, it would be designed to only ever come up with lemons.
Love the cartoon Chris, sums up Labour in Scotland, they might as well use this method as any other. The Family Members in the BBC will do their level best to ensure it sounds reasonable.
London labour will not oppose any policies Murphy will spout, his remit is to get votes,it wont matter how he gets them, just get them, any promises made wont matter as they wont be kept anyway
Can I assume that Labour takes their winning line tokens to be cashed in at the BBC?
@ ronnie anderson lol, which came first the duck or the egg? 😉
Jackpot for a crackpot, Murphy can offer you 1000’s of new nurses, a VOW and hundreds of new bombs(NUCLEAR).
Murphy, Adams and all at BBC Scotland, Scottish Labour and the Daily Record, liars one and all
I have heard that Kaye Adams has even replaced her picture of Johann Lamont in her Pacific Quay studio with one of Jim (God Almighty) Murphy.
Kay Adams seems to forget the difference between lies and truth, she needs reminding the next time we are outside the home of untruths at Pacific Quay. A few well worded posters should do the trick.
She is nothing more than a “Bitch” for Scottish Labour.
“I’ve got this wee radio phone-in show every mornin on the BBC, you tell me what to say and I’ll say it”.
Brilliant Chris, usual standard. Well done.
Crackpot ahahahaha love it! Play Jim’s ‘spin and you might win’ party political puggy machine!
There could be a similar machine able to pick a lie of McTernan’s.
” What old lie do you want to spin today, Master!”
Oh just any one will do, to start with, Ok Master WHIZZ clunk.
Job Done.
Just came by email, apparently we were right to be concerned about fraud in the referendum vote.
Here is the link
link to change.org
“What does he do with three eggs in a row?”
Milks them.
Murphy’s 1,000 nurses pledge is not as stupid as it first appears. It’s actually quite carefully calculated. Whilst ostensibly targeting the SNP, what Jim is really doing is pretending to put water between himself and London policy whilst reiterating the “pooling and sharing” message and reinforcing the myth that Scotland needs subsidy from London (an insidious and powerful deception that has been successful in maintaining 308 years of robbery and fraud).
Remember how the NHS became one of the key message battlegrounds in the last months of the indyref? Dr Philippa Whitford’s explosive online testimony was a pivotal moment that boosted support for Yes. The 1,000 isn’t a random number either; it’s deliberately mirroring the SNP’s pledge – which they delivered – to put an extra 1,000 police on the streets. Murphy is trying to steal the SNP’s clothes by positioning Labour as the guardians of the NHS and the good old left – a lie that makes me want to vomit, but sufficiently sweet that it may persuade old Labour voters to stick with him.
We’re going to see a lot of this over coming months. Labour will steal and rebrand SNP policies as manifesto promises, which after a Labour victory will be ignored, watered down, or perverted to serve the status quo (just as “oil fund” meta-morphed into “resilience fund”). It’s genetically modified Jam Tomorrow, and should be treated with absolute scorn.
Whilst the people of Scotland aren’t daft, 55% of them were hoodwinked into voting No by subtle lies and deception. These cynical calculated lies must be exposed at every opportunity – and clearly the MSM are not going to do that because they benefit from the gravy train every bit as much as Westminster MPs do.
Oh look,a random policy generator.
Excellent Chris! Keep them coming!
@Calgacus – What does he win with 3 eggs in a row?
Not sure – but can he no learn tae Dodgem? – Boom boom! 🙂
( or wis it his plan no tae? )
@Helena Brown My appoligies Helena no ah fence intended to your adopted surname mea culpa.
please find another name for diddies
Red Tits same species as the Blue Tits. no differance in Paygrade.
Calgacus says:
10 January, 2015 at 11:58 am
@ ronnie anderson lol, which came first the duck or the egg?
ah hivna ah clue , but am left wie the Waddle, you hiv seen me walkin lol.
@An Teallach
An Teallach says:
10 January, 2015 at 1:04 pm
Excellent Chris! Keep them coming!
@Calgacus – What does he win with 3 eggs in a row?
Not sure – but can he no learn tae Dodgem? – Boom boom! 🙂
( or wis it his plan no tae? )
Am jist waiting tae see if Paula Rose comes in with
The Carnivals Not Over. sing up Paula.
Thanks, Chris, 10/10
🙂
He appears to be playing the penny arcade!
Even that must be a new low for Dim Jim the 2-faced tim.
😉
Ok, Ok, Ok, i’m on my way, ah didny bring a jackit.
The Herald / daily Redcoat, reporting that some Tory blogger came up to Edinburgh to talk to some toffs about the mansion tax and to complain about Dim Jims 1000 nurses lie.
He talked about the real anger being felt in London about Murphy’s policy, and asked how Scots would feel if a tax was introduced that would have a disproportionate effect on Scotland and would be used to fund the NHS in the South East, So the story rumbles on.
They say that if a bad story lasts more than three days politicians begin to get worried and more than a week they will start losing a lot of votes, so with the UK’s electoral system being heavily loaded towards keeping people in the South East esp London happy, there will be a lot of people getting mightily annoyed at Dims little stunt.
This has all the hallmarks of a Tory McTernan ploy, who has probably been working for Dim for a while in a voluntary capacity (like Bliar McDougal has)
Now the MSM promote McTernan as a brilliant political strategist, but if you look at his history, you soon find out that he causes divisions and fall-outs wherever his bitter mind is allowed a free reign.
So the truth is McTernan is a failure as a strategist, but his usefulness is in threatening and intimidating the UK’s cowardly and sleazy MSM journalists, who should be ashamed of their cowardice in the week we see French Journalists being attacked and murdered for refusing to be intimidated.
So we will see the MSM cowards being lead around like dogs on McTernan and Murphy’s leash and this will piss a lot of us off, however don’t let them get to you because as much as they get the benefit from that, they will also get the classic McTernan own goals.
Murphy and McTernan are rabid Tory’s in all but name, in fact a lot of Torys wouldn’t touch the Henry Jackson Society with a barge poll, this is Murphy’s Achilles Heal, because the question is simple: ‘Do actions speak louder than words’?
If the answer is yes (and most people will say yes, then Murphy’s past will be louder than his present lies.
Chris, as usual another excellent cartoon.
I’m sure that Bernard and Margaret, oops, sorry, John and Jim, will work wonders for New Labour in Scotland, doh!, I mean, ‘North Britain’.
Time for popcorn and a big comfy seat…
And I hope the jackpot comes in red-hot pennies, straight into the family jewels!
Anither good ane Chris
I’m just amazed that SLAB and Murphy have a policy making process based on the solid logic building blocks of A FRUIT MACHINE
I would say that Labour reminds me of a stupid, obnoxious guest who does not know that they have outstayed their welcome and Murphy is the archetypical fool that thinks he is popular with everyone and does not know that his London bosses actually look down him and despise him too.
@Schrödinger’s cat says: 10 January, 2015 at 8:49 am:
“For whom the bells toll”.
A Great quotation, Schrödinger’s cat.
It is also one of the most used, and abused, quotations in the World. One that the vast majority of those who use it often couldn’t give the whole quotation. Just for the record, here it in the modern English grammar version.
“No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as any manner of thy friends or of thine own were; any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind. And therefore never send to know, for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
MEDITATION XVII. “Devotions upon Emergent Occasions”.
John Donne.
The chances of three blueberries must be quite high on that machine.
2-armed bandit.