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Where is Jesus? 8

Posted on March 16, 2011 by

Hey! It's time for another WoSblog Challenge! WOO!

We're all familiar with the concept of Where's Wally/Waldo, right? The above is a tableau in similar vein but with a bit of a Biblical theme, taken from the iThing game Where's Jesus? Your job is simple: find the inset character (bottom left) somewhere in the main picture. He usually shows up after you've found three or four others in Level 1 (of 10).

A free copy of Free-App Hero to the winner!

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Category iOS, videogames

New ways to spell “Congratulations”, part 75 2

Posted on March 14, 2011 by

Those crazy Far East kids really do have trouble with that one, don't they?

Category free stuff, iOS, videogames

Blatant PR Lies: episode 27,010,345 8

Posted on March 10, 2011 by

OMG! It's Tappi Bear All in 1!! 8 in 1 GameBox!! It's all of the Tappi Bear games! All of them! All together in one app! Yay!

"What's new: Quick Link to Tappi Bear All in 1 Pack 2".

WHAT?

Category iOS, lies, videogames

Just shut up, idiots 41

Posted on March 08, 2011 by

There is literally nothing more tedious on Earth than some scared 15-year-old fanboy thicko witlessly pronouncing that the iPod, iPhone and iPad aren't "proper" videogaming devices, because "all the games are five-minute casual Flash rubbish or Angry Birds".

It gets really wearisome having to point out how ignorant and stupid they are in detail every time, so to save myself a bit of effort in the long run I've knocked up a convenient one-stop counterpoint for easy reference.

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Category iOS, videogames

Speedy Discount 2, more like 0

Posted on March 06, 2011 by

Just a few days after release, Speedball 2 Evolution has had its price slashed from £2.39 to 59p, for an unknown length of time.

At that price, everybody pile in.

Category bargains, iOS, iPad, videogames

More of you need to have this 4

Posted on March 04, 2011 by

While it's still free, so that you can enjoy its awesome ghost-racing capers.

Having played Mad Skills Motocross (available for PC, Mac and Linux as well as iOS), I am now OUTRAGED that all other racing-type games don't let you go to the online leaderboards and go head-to-head against the recording of anyone's best run. I'd write to my MP about it, but he's a treacherous cunt.

Category awesomeness, iOS, iPad, videogames

Manic Minoer 6

Posted on March 03, 2011 by

or Why The iPhone Is The New Amiga, Part 17.

Minotron 2112 was released today (at the time of writing an iTunes or App Store search for "minotron" doesn't bring it up, but if instead you search for "llamasoft" it's there), the second outing for Jeff Minter's game-in-a-month Minotaur Project after the flawed but fun Minotaur Rescue.

(Which incidentally is apparently about to have many of the issues raised in the WoSland review – or "moaning", as Mr Minter refers to user feedback – fixed in a just-submitted update.)

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Category iOS, iPad, videogames

This is Free-App Hero 30

Posted on February 07, 2011 by

Many of you will know about this already, but for various reasons it's never actually been made official before now. Friends, colleagues, alert WoSblog viewers and the world in general, please welcome into your hearts and minds the infinite majesty of Free-App Hero.

Free-App Hero is an App Store tracker app with a difference – it delivers hundreds of fantastic free games without wasting your time with any of the thousands and thousands of terrible ones. Who wouldn't want that?

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Category awesomeness, iOS, videogames

Who sexually abused Steve Jobs? 24

Posted on December 16, 2010 by

Come on. It must have been one of you, or someone you know, and it’s time to own up. Because until we deal with this serious issue and reach some sort of closure, Jobs is going to keep taking it out on the rest of us.

There’s simply no other remotely plausible explanation for the staggering hostility – no, make that absolute naked loathing – with which Apple continues to treat the hundreds of millions of customers who’ve made it so rich.

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Category apocalypse, disturbing, investigative journalism, iOS, iPad, stupidity, useless Apple cunts, videogames

Please just fucking die, Apple 12

Posted on November 24, 2010 by

Well, that’ll teach me to write a loving but very gently semi-critical appraisal of the iPad. Apple’s crack Unbeliever Punishment Squad was scrambled immediately, and within 24 hours punishment was duly delivered.

The main engine of retribution was to be – as is so often the case – the vile, stinking, loathing-fuelled execresence that is PC iTunes.

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Category iOS, stupidity, useless Apple cunts

Why metagaming is the only true gaming 4

Posted on June 19, 2010 by

Anyone who's been reading WoS or WoSblog for any amount of time will probably already have noticed that I have very little time for videogames that want to tell stories.

There are plenty of fields of culture available already for people who want to be told stories. Books, films, comics, TV,  theatre and even music are all ideally suited to story-telling, and frequently do a brilliant job of it. You wouldn't hire a footballer to come round and do your plumbing, so why would you look to videogames for storytelling?

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Category iOS, videogames

The least appropriate use of ‘Finally’ ever 3

Posted on March 03, 2010 by

Is this okay, or really really not very okay at all? I just can’t tell.

“Finally a SNIPER game where you play as a soviet soldier to help liberate the Auschwitz Nazi concentration camp!”

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Category iOS, things of all time, videogames

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    • GM on A Stitch In Timing: “‘We all know that Swinney stayed with Mandelson on his whisky trip to USA in Sep 25. I have done…” Feb 7, 01:43
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    • James on A Stitch In Timing: ““….life changing injuries….” Yet more bollocks from the Site Prick. To quote Craig Murray; “The final question was the charge…” Feb 6, 20:45
    • GM on A Stitch In Timing: “I see that argument quite clearly Lorna when you put it as you just have. There are plenty women in…” Feb 6, 20:15
    • PC Foster on A Stitch In Timing: “Scottish Executive- correct” Feb 6, 20:03
    • agentx on A Stitch In Timing: “They chose to be “activatists” let them fund it themselves.” Feb 6, 19:41
    • Hatey McHateface on A Stitch In Timing: ““we are reminded here that: “colonialism is based on psychology”” Is that because it’s Friday, Alf? Seems like only Wednesday…” Feb 6, 19:41
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    • Hatey McHateface on A Stitch In Timing: ““finding none of the activists guilty on any of the charges” Given they committed burglary, assault and grievous bodily harm…” Feb 6, 19:27
    • agentx on A Stitch In Timing: “We all know that Swinney stayed with Mandelson on his whisky trip to USA in Sep 25. I have done…” Feb 6, 19:17
    • Lorna Campbell on A Stitch In Timing: “Alf: I know it will take a lot more than that. The point I was trying to make is that…” Feb 6, 18:19
    • PC Foster on A Stitch In Timing: “It was always known as the Scottish Parliament. However the machinery was called the Scottish Administration until Salmond renamed it…” Feb 6, 18:04
    • Willie on A Stitch In Timing: “Couldn’t help but reflect on the latest reports about our out beloved Labour party politico one Mr Peter Mandelson. Its…” Feb 6, 17:40
    • Alf Baird on A Stitch In Timing: ““try to rehabilitate Scotland before independence” I suspect that’s not generally how decolonization and ‘self-recovery of culture’ works, which is…” Feb 6, 17:18
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on A Stitch In Timing: “Re Sven. Point taken.” Feb 6, 17:06
    • Alf Baird on A Stitch In Timing: ““Not the Crown” ? Hardly. The root of the despicable colonial situation is that elites in Scotland aye tak thair…” Feb 6, 16:48
    • sarah on A Stitch In Timing: “Scottish court cases are hugely expensive, another obvious impediment to seeking “justice”. The case in the Scottish courts for a…” Feb 6, 16:37
    • Sven on A Stitch In Timing: “Fearghas Macfhionnlaigh. My own view on that would be that by misnaming a devolved administration as a Parliament a clear…” Feb 6, 15:24
    • Lorna Campbell on A Stitch In Timing: “With a heavy heart, I have to agree with you, Southernbystander, but not all Scots are anaesthetized by colonialism. Truth…” Feb 6, 15:24
    • Lorna Campbell on A Stitch In Timing: “I’m not privy, GM, as you might imagine, to what the powers-that-be are up to, but I think that the…” Feb 6, 15:12
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on A Stitch In Timing: “I would assume that Alex Salmond, and Winnie Ewing (‘The Scottish Parliament, which adjourned on March 25 1707, is hereby…” Feb 6, 14:50
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