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Where is Jesus? 8

Posted on March 16, 2011 by

Hey! It's time for another WoSblog Challenge! WOO!

We're all familiar with the concept of Where's Wally/Waldo, right? The above is a tableau in similar vein but with a bit of a Biblical theme, taken from the iThing game Where's Jesus? Your job is simple: find the inset character (bottom left) somewhere in the main picture. He usually shows up after you've found three or four others in Level 1 (of 10).

A free copy of Free-App Hero to the winner!

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Category iOS, videogames

New ways to spell “Congratulations”, part 75 2

Posted on March 14, 2011 by

Those crazy Far East kids really do have trouble with that one, don't they?

Category free stuff, iOS, videogames

Blatant PR Lies: episode 27,010,345 8

Posted on March 10, 2011 by

OMG! It's Tappi Bear All in 1!! 8 in 1 GameBox!! It's all of the Tappi Bear games! All of them! All together in one app! Yay!

"What's new: Quick Link to Tappi Bear All in 1 Pack 2".

WHAT?

Category iOS, lies, videogames

Just shut up, idiots 41

Posted on March 08, 2011 by

There is literally nothing more tedious on Earth than some scared 15-year-old fanboy thicko witlessly pronouncing that the iPod, iPhone and iPad aren't "proper" videogaming devices, because "all the games are five-minute casual Flash rubbish or Angry Birds".

It gets really wearisome having to point out how ignorant and stupid they are in detail every time, so to save myself a bit of effort in the long run I've knocked up a convenient one-stop counterpoint for easy reference.

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Category iOS, videogames

Speedy Discount 2, more like 0

Posted on March 06, 2011 by

Just a few days after release, Speedball 2 Evolution has had its price slashed from £2.39 to 59p, for an unknown length of time.

At that price, everybody pile in.

Category bargains, iOS, iPad, videogames

More of you need to have this 4

Posted on March 04, 2011 by

While it's still free, so that you can enjoy its awesome ghost-racing capers.

Having played Mad Skills Motocross (available for PC, Mac and Linux as well as iOS), I am now OUTRAGED that all other racing-type games don't let you go to the online leaderboards and go head-to-head against the recording of anyone's best run. I'd write to my MP about it, but he's a treacherous cunt.

Category awesomeness, iOS, iPad, videogames

Manic Minoer 6

Posted on March 03, 2011 by

or Why The iPhone Is The New Amiga, Part 17.

Minotron 2112 was released today (at the time of writing an iTunes or App Store search for "minotron" doesn't bring it up, but if instead you search for "llamasoft" it's there), the second outing for Jeff Minter's game-in-a-month Minotaur Project after the flawed but fun Minotaur Rescue.

(Which incidentally is apparently about to have many of the issues raised in the WoSland review – or "moaning", as Mr Minter refers to user feedback – fixed in a just-submitted update.)

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Category iOS, iPad, videogames

This is Free-App Hero 30

Posted on February 07, 2011 by

Many of you will know about this already, but for various reasons it's never actually been made official before now. Friends, colleagues, alert WoSblog viewers and the world in general, please welcome into your hearts and minds the infinite majesty of Free-App Hero.

Free-App Hero is an App Store tracker app with a difference – it delivers hundreds of fantastic free games without wasting your time with any of the thousands and thousands of terrible ones. Who wouldn't want that?

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Category awesomeness, iOS, videogames

Who sexually abused Steve Jobs? 24

Posted on December 16, 2010 by

Come on. It must have been one of you, or someone you know, and it’s time to own up. Because until we deal with this serious issue and reach some sort of closure, Jobs is going to keep taking it out on the rest of us.

There’s simply no other remotely plausible explanation for the staggering hostility – no, make that absolute naked loathing – with which Apple continues to treat the hundreds of millions of customers who’ve made it so rich.

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Category apocalypse, disturbing, investigative journalism, iOS, iPad, stupidity, useless Apple cunts, videogames

Please just fucking die, Apple 12

Posted on November 24, 2010 by

Well, that’ll teach me to write a loving but very gently semi-critical appraisal of the iPad. Apple’s crack Unbeliever Punishment Squad was scrambled immediately, and within 24 hours punishment was duly delivered.

The main engine of retribution was to be – as is so often the case – the vile, stinking, loathing-fuelled execresence that is PC iTunes.

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Category iOS, stupidity, useless Apple cunts

Why metagaming is the only true gaming 4

Posted on June 19, 2010 by

Anyone who's been reading WoS or WoSblog for any amount of time will probably already have noticed that I have very little time for videogames that want to tell stories.

There are plenty of fields of culture available already for people who want to be told stories. Books, films, comics, TV,  theatre and even music are all ideally suited to story-telling, and frequently do a brilliant job of it. You wouldn't hire a footballer to come round and do your plumbing, so why would you look to videogames for storytelling?

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Category iOS, videogames

The least appropriate use of ‘Finally’ ever 3

Posted on March 03, 2010 by

Is this okay, or really really not very okay at all? I just can’t tell.

“Finally a SNIPER game where you play as a soviet soldier to help liberate the Auschwitz Nazi concentration camp!”

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Category iOS, things of all time, videogames

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    • Confused on Looking up at the stars: “the thieves are back thieving https://archive.ph/z3LQi but, but, I thought the oil wasn’t worth anything free translation added : “england…” Mar 19, 11:56
    • Sven on Looking up at the stars: “Sam @ 09.31. I’m no theologue, Sam, however last time I looked it was something like, “Thou shalt not take…” Mar 19, 11:14
    • Geri on Looking up at the stars: “The UN is funded by the membership. The richer a country is the higher the contribution. Considering the Middle East…” Mar 19, 11:05
    • Jamie on Looking up at the stars: “Thank you and I think you might be correct about Alba, the way it ended is highly suspicious.” Mar 19, 09:50
    • Jamie on Looking up at the stars: “Do you get paid by the British government to comment here?” Mar 19, 09:48
    • sam on Looking up at the stars: “Northcode You may already have seen the video. If not search “flann obrien atomic theory video”. I can’t get the…” Mar 19, 09:31
    • Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Back on form I see, Geri. I know it’s asking a lot of you, but please endeavour to always maintain…” Mar 19, 08:53
    • Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “Geri I see your thinking but no the UN has become a sanctuary for terrorists. A talking shop paid for…” Mar 19, 07:17
    • Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Lorncal What are you suggesting is propaganda? It’s documented fact that the father of a disabled child asked the German…” Mar 19, 02:02
    • Lorncal on Looking up at the stars: “Geri: the Nazis certainly practised eugenics, on Jews, Slavs, the disabled, those with mental ill-health or illness, etc., but they…” Mar 18, 23:46
    • Young Lochinvar on Looking up at the stars: “Assisted dying bill; Automatic do not resuscitate classifications have been in operation for ages.. Anyway, assisted dying; Go to Muirhouse…” Mar 18, 22:03
    • Geri on Looking up at the stars: “As Maggie said, international law is all we’ve got between us & the barbarians. Ironic really cause they ARE the…” Mar 18, 21:38
    • Fearghas MacFhionnlaigh on Looking up at the stars: “MLA CRITICISES WOKE GOVERNMENT FORM An MLA (Member of the Legislative Assembly) has criticised the Northern Ireland Civil Service for…” Mar 18, 21:36
    • Geri on Looking up at the stars: “They have options. Those options don’t have to involve everyone else. If they want to check out then go for…” Mar 18, 21:25
    • Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Last time I looked it wasn’t Poot offering euthanasia to avoid paying healthcare & pensions or sterilising his own population…” Mar 18, 20:57
    • Southernbystander on Looking up at the stars: “It is palpably untrue that supporting assisted dying is all about government population control – the statement is offensive and…” Mar 18, 20:57
    • Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “Surely half a bicycle is a cycle?” Mar 18, 20:02
    • Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “When you write “us” Geri, is that you deploying your royal we again? That makes more sense than the alternative…” Mar 18, 20:00
    • Hatey McHateface on Looking up at the stars: “With so many women in the workforce, there’s a lot of demand for anything that will help them slim down.” Mar 18, 19:48
    • Geri on Looking up at the stars: “Mark WEF – where billionaires empty the contents of their head thinking no one is listening. They loathe the working…” Mar 18, 19:28
    • Northcode on Looking up at the stars: “I like it, Sam. Here’s one of Brian’s that sums up my attempts at humour in this place: “I saw…” Mar 18, 19:24
    • Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “The UN is struggling to exist as it is running out of money and relevance. The Titanic of gravy boats…” Mar 18, 19:15
    • Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “Are you pals with Starmer the wanker. That’s the same pish he talks.” Mar 18, 19:02
    • Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “@Geri You take an assisted dying bill (defeated) and turn it into the toilet habits of the rich. The genocide…” Mar 18, 18:50
    • Mark Beggan on Looking up at the stars: “That’s last months flag. Do keep up.” Mar 18, 18:38
    • sam on Looking up at the stars: “A wry sense of humour indeed. “The gross and net result of it is that people who spent most of…” Mar 18, 18:35
    • Geri on Looking up at the stars: “They’re not left. The billionaires are shitting themselves there’ll not be enough resources left in the world for them cause…” Mar 18, 18:11
    • Geri on Looking up at the stars: “America, Oops! I mean it’s proxy Iraq invaded Iran in 1980. A war lasting 9 years or so. Everything from…” Mar 18, 17:51
    • 100%Yes on Looking up at the stars: “Welcome on board James, sorry about Alba but some how I believe it was deliberate because Alba was making progress…” Mar 18, 17:48

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