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A helping hand

Posted on July 11, 2013 by

You’re not too late to catch Alistair Darling’s latest unveiling of “the positive case for the Union” via a live webcast on the “Better Together” website this morning. As we write he’s 10 minutes late, and the audience is rocketing towards triple figures.


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    90 to “A helping hand”

    1. Craig P says:

      How many viewers is that once BT members and journalists are counted for? Nearly double figures?

    2. Doug Daniel says:

      More like nearly single figures, I suspect.

    3. MajorBloodnok says:

      Was up up at 104 but then dropped to 98 whilst it was on.  The blank screen, strange scrabbling noises round the mike, the muffled mumbling in the background and dropped service probably aren’t helping. I wonder how many viewers BT will claim tuned in?

      Actually, after I’d watched the 25 second advert for the National Geographic channel I lost interest.

    4. Tattie-boggle says:

      Ian Taylors money must be gone, The webcast has a two paper cup and string quality to it.
      on 100meg broadband

    5. Sonas says:

      Ooh, I posted on the last thread without realising this was here….
      I have a source who claimed they were expecting 250 people this morning (live at the event I mean, not on the viewer thingy whatsit)
      I will ask for a count afterwards.

    6. CameronB says:

      And they expect us to have confidence in their judgement? Major Facepalm.

    7. Ellie says:

      You know if you stare at those lines long enough you can start to see images appearing….try it!

    8. Ally says:

      Am I the only one that is getting no picture? Either that or he has NOTHING possitive to say – thought as much!
      STU – you do realise that WOS has just boosted the viewing figure?

    9. G. Campbell says:

      Better Together – brought to you by Web 0.000000002.

    10. Is this coming from the same bunker where Johann has been for the last wee while?

    11. G. Campbell says:

      And I thought Virgin Media’s youtube streaming problems were bad.

    12. Yesitis says:

      *blows an eerie wind sound for effect*
      There goes the tumbleweed…

    13. Sonas says:

      No, I am getting a spinny wheel and a frozen, extremely fuzzy picture of Captain Flipper. Dammit – I was really looking forward to that too.

    14. Sonas says:

      Must admit the venue does look busy from the pic on twitter.

    15. MajorBloodnok says:

      I can sing a rainbow too.

    16. Rev. Stuart Campbell says:

      “I have a source who claimed they were expecting 250 people this morning (live at the event I mean”

      Picture here:

      Suggests max of maybe 120-ish in total. (84 visible in shot.)

    17. G. Campbell says:

      I hope the Rev is screengrabbing all the most exciting moments.

    18. Ally says:

      The wheels are going round – but nothing is coming out! Hang on – that’s their overall strategy is it not?

    19. G. Campbell says:

      Better Together will be putting up ten 200kb GIF animations later on for those who couldn’t access the stream.

    20. Ray says:

      I hope Darling apologises on Twitter for this catastrophe. Him and his cronies went on about it all yesterday. I missed my chance to go to the van for soup so I could watch a blank screen. Nobbers!

    21. Clarinda says:

      Clicked on to see the viewer numbers whizz forward from 133 to 149 – are they implementing the Glenrothes Gazump Accumulator?

    22. Sonas says:

      “Picture here:
      Suggests max of maybe 120-ish in total. (84 visible in shot.)”
      Here is a photo of the empty venue:
      – I will post pic of paint drying in a moment 🙂
      full capacity is 300

    23. Rev. Stuart Campbell says:

      “Here is a photo of the empty venue:”

      Nice one. Looks like 16 rows of 15, so 240 seated.

    24. Embradon says:

      Is there no live coverage of paint drying or grass growing available?

    25. scottish_skier says:

      Fair few empty seats in the photo (right hand side shows this obviously).
      And does anyone else find the slogan ‘We belong together’ weird and creepy?

    26. Dave McEwan Hill says:

      Surely some body there should have waved a Saltire. We’ll need to sharpen up. Seriously though this frenzy about Salmond’s  Wimbeldon Saltire can be used to great advantage.
      It is now firmly established as the independence flag
      I’m a way out for a pole to hoist mine in my garden  (and I think I may put up two).

    27. tattie-boggle says:

      @ clarinda problems in Glenrothes coming soon

    28. Dcanmore says:

      11.30am and now at 78 views, well 77 now that I’ve left 🙂

    29. Jim Mitchell says:

      We also now know why Better Together have been concentrating on all the doom and gloom, because when it comes to all this lovey-dovey stuff, their even worse

    30. Sonas says:

      I think it’s all over.
      Fuzzy picture of abandoned lectern. Quite poignant really.

    31. Bugger (the Panda) says:

      120 ish
      20 journos
      20 Bitter Together and Labour locals
      60 a double decker bus full up from Newcastle on a work experience jolly
      20 infiltrators

    32. Dcanmore says:

      Maybe this is an existential speech on the positive case for the union where nobody actually turns up to say anything because it is reflective of the silent majority that are not shouty nationalists… or something. 

    33. Ally says:

      We apologise for the lack of possitivity – In the meantime here’s some music!
      The Bitter Together team

    34. Doug Daniel says:

      120 folk? So that’ll be 250 in BetterTogether arithmetic then.

    35. Adrian B says:

      I bet most of the on line ‘viewers’ were trying to access the thing from this site. They don’t appear to be terribly well organised at this ‘technology thing’
      Bunch of idiots.

    36. mealer says:

      No sign of the jaikit in the audience.I thought I’d spied it,but its just a sleeveless top.I think I saw her off coronation street in the back row.

    37. Cath says:

      You almost have to feel sorry for Darling. He seems to be being nobbled from all angles by his own side. That “we’ll annex parts of Argyll and force weapons on you” the night before his speech and the rapid climb down on that just before it must have had him tearing his hear out.
      Still, couldn’t happen to a nicer bloke…

    38. Boorach says:

      @ Scottish Skier
      it’s a message for his Mrs, rumour has it……. 🙂

    39. G. Campbell says:

      Better Together @UK_Together 5m
      Thanks to everyone that followed our live tweets & livestream – apologies for any technical problems at the start #BetterTogether

      At the start? I got bugger all all the way through.

    40. G. Campbell says:

      Better Together: brilliant at rigging Scotsman polls; shit at moving pictures.

    41. It’s nice that they will let you watch an advert before they return you to the offline screen. Adverts appearing before the content I want to see is really my favourite part of the internet. I can’t get enough of that.

    42. Luigi says:

      AD’s expression – what is he thinking?
      “How do I convince these empty chairs that we belong together?”

    43. G. Campbell says:

      Blue State Digital my arse.

      Craig Whyte IT services, more like – technology off the scale.

    44. ianbrotherhood says:

      ‘We Belong Together’ is pure Iceberg Slim/50 Cent pimp-talk.

    45. G. Campbell says:

      Better Together to come back as a newco: Better Thegether

    46. Luigi says:

      Join BT and exercise those thumbs!

    47. Edward Barbour says:

      One thing I noticed in the picture posted by the Rev, was the number of dark suit’s
      Can only conclude that the man in the street in Glasgow likes to dress formally for these events

    48. CameronB says:

      @ Sonas
      Are you sure the capacity is 300? I can’t see how you could squeeze in 250 seats.

    49. pa_broon74 says:

      I’m not sure why Darling does these, its not exactly advancing the cause of TB. I mean who’s going to consciously decide to attend something like this? If he’s counting on his statesman-like image to draw folk in, I think he’ll be disappointed.
      Its not exactly reaching out is it? It sounds more like an exercise in self-assurance than any thing else. It would be less boring if they all just congregated in a room, gave each other hugs and said ‘there there’. 

    50. Marker Post says:

      What’s interesting is that no one gives a shit about what he has to say, we know the crap that comes out of his mouth already.

    51. Luigi says:

      I’m not sure why Darling does these,
      AD is trying to show the world that he is still relevant. 
      Flipper will go the same way as the original 1960s show bearing that name. You know, the one that noone watches?

    52. Bugger (the Panda) says:

      You mean Flipper is dead?
      What about Skippy?

    53. G. Campbell says:

      AngusBMacNeilMP @AngusMacNeilMP
      Scottish Press Pack being entertained by Tory/Lib Scottish Office in London for 2 days… if Scot Gov do that imagine the indignation lol 🙂

      AngusBMacNeilMP @AngusMacNeilMP
      About now Scottish Off ministers will be telling the Scot Press Pack (who the are entertaining for 2 days for 1st time ever) tall tales 🙂

      AngusBMacNeilMP @AngusMacNeilMP 5h
      @tartangladbach 2 days of Scot journalists paid for by UK gov a minister told me – none from Wales or NI – it will be in press soon 😉

      Holyrood hacks on tour, 9th July (from Alan Roden’s twitter)

      Left to right:
      ?, Hamish McDonnell, Colin Mackay (Bauer Scotland stations), Glenn Campbell (probably not)?, ?, ?, ?, ?, Alan Roden (Mail)?, Kieran Andrews (Courier)?, David Clegg (Record)?, Simon Johnson (Telegraph)

      The one on the far left looks a bit like a porkier Ramsay Jones, UK Government Special Advisor for Scotland, but it probably isn’t, but could be.

      Ramsay Jones to Kieran Andrews: “I’ll show you the others when I see you!”

      Scottish Tory chief spin doctor Ramsay Jones suspended

      I wonder if Ramsay is the source mentioned in the English love-bombing story in today’s papers. He probably isn’t, but could be.

    54. Taranaich says:

      ‘We Belong Together’ is pure Iceberg Slim/50 Cent pimp-talk.
      Indeed, Ian. It also has a lot of the Orwellian about it (“we have always been at war with Eastasia…”) and, of course, the appeal to tradition (“we’ve been together 300 years, why break up now?”) and acceptance of the status quo (“change is scary.”)

    55. John Lyons says:

      I’m not a Beatles fan, but this seems hugely appropriate.
      He’s a real nowhere man,
      Sitting in his nowhere land
      Making all his nowhere plans for nobody….

    56. scottish_skier says:

      We belong together.

      That can be said in two ways. Once’s nice, about love. The other’s what the partner that’s just microwaved your bunny says after you’ve told them its over.

      Both are just as weird and creepy in this context.

    57. Rev. Stuart Campbell says:

      National Collective reporting that the room was about half-empty (eyewitness account), so it looks like the 120 guess won’t be far off the mark.

    58. Sonas says:

      I’m not sure how it seats 300, but you can hire out the hall and accoriding to the official blurb the capacity is 300. I agree with the Rev’s estimate of 240.
      I’ve heard that the place was indeed very busy – packed out with BT/local Labour etc. No shortage of them in Glasgow…

    59. Jamie Arriere says:

      This is the venue. The BT photo is probably taken from the back of the audience, so someone can work it out

    60. John Lyons says:

      “Both are just as weird and creepy in this context.”
      And that’s before we get to Cameron calling for England to Lovebomb us whatever the hell that is. Sound like your bunny boiler if I can’t have you no-one can approach….

    61. wullie says:

      we’ve been together 300 years, why break up now
      We were apart for much much longer and life in Scotland was a lot better

    62. CameronB says:

      @ Sonas
      Strange one that. Perhaps there are seats we can’t count?
      P.S. I don’t mean to be abrupt or picky, but could you please remember the B at the end. I added it to avoid confusion when we are all talking about Dave. Although I am unlikely to be confused with someone who considers North Korea to be a serious threat, lets be safe. Thanks.

    63. HighlandMartin says:

      I watched an advert for Simple soap.  These webcasts work because I went for a shower instead of waiting.

    64. Braco says:



      My thoughts were, Sport the pimp (Harvey Keitel) in ‘Taxi driver’ creepily mumbling sexy sweet nothings into the ear of 14 year old hooker Jody Foster.

      ‘We belong together baby’


    65. Braco says:

      We belong together
      BetterNO have scooped the support of Pat Benatar!  We are sunk.

    66. Sonas says:

      Sure – apols. Just being lazy. Will remember the B. Certainly understand your keenness to avoid being confused with call-me-dave.

    67. Currywurst says:

      Er, he was speaking at 10.30 on a work day. Exactly who would be watching live?

    68. CameronB says:

      Is this what they mean by “We belong together”?

      @ Sonas
      To be honest, I wasn’t bothered. Just though you offered a handy segue. 🙂

    69. Max says:

      Looks someone stuck a Saltire behind Darling. Is that allowed?

    70. JLT says:

      What make me laugh about that photo, is that it is captioned ‘An Incredible Turnout’
      120 folk …incredible! What! God, things must be desperate for Bitter Together if 120 folk is incredible!!

    71. Andy-B says:

      Alistair Darling is a guest writer in the Daily Record today
      With a half page article, with large bold letters stating “We need to look after our friends in the South“….my question is havent we been doing that for 40 years now.

    72. Rev. Stuart Campbell says:

      “120 folk …incredible! What! God, things must be desperate for Bitter Together if 120 folk is incredible!!”

      To be fair, it was in some remote, out-of-the-way wee village called Glasgow.

    73. proudscot says:

      What’s the odds the Bitter Together lot, aided by the anti-indy press and media, will be desperately “downsizing” the September pro-indy gathering in Edinburgh? Remember how last year, they almost halved the estimated attendance, while at the same time claiming a “large” anti-indy counter demo, consisting of half a dozen or so youths in Rangers tops waving their Butcher’s Apron Union Flag? Incidentally, any sightings of the invisible quasi leaderene, Wee Johann – or is she still cowering in her soundproofed bunker?

    74. I’ve dissected the full text of Darling’s document launched this morning in Captain Darling Tries to Polish the Turd.

    75. Jiggsbro says:

      Er, he was speaking at 10.30 on a work day. Exactly who would be watching live?
      No one. Which nicely illustrates the judgement of the BT crew: a live webcast when no one would be watching. It must make you so proud.

    76. lumilumi says:

      Darling’s speech wasn’t meant for an audience, live or online. He gave it so that BBC Pacific Quay and the Scottish MSM could report it.

    77. CameronB says:

      And they couldn’t even manage to pull off a live webcast. Perhaps Bond and M were right to head for Scotland?
      In the absence of Captain D, please allow me to present the positive case for the Union.

    78. The Rough Bounds says:

      It reminds me of that Chic Murray line: ”I went to see a show. It was so boring that six empty seats got up and walked out”.

    79. Andy-B says:

      @Cameron B
      Very funny ..hahahahah!….good one..
      Then again I suppose we’ve more chance of seeing a unicorn than Peter Brady….Aka Johann Lamont…in the near future.

    80. lumilumi says:

      The next scare story from BT?
      “Independent Scotland won’t have unicorns.”

    81. Ian Mackay says:

      The University of Glasgow link gives the tiered theatre layout a maximum 301 capacity. And £930 for the hire alone, presumably more costs in travel, presentation, branding etc.
      The twitter picture does suggest about 120 folk.
      On that basis on rough cost per person, Alastair Darling would be cheaper just going round Glasgow saying ‘I’ll give you a tenner if you vote No!’. ‘Please??? What about twenty???’

      Outright bribery would seem to be Better Together’s best remaining bet. After all, it worked in 1707. And they are a parcel of rogues in a nation.

    82. The Scouder says:

      I thought that the phrase sounded familiar….

    83. CameronB says:

      Perhaps BT launched ‘Project Fear’ after discovering a rich seam of Kim Il Sung’s daily ablutions. I am sure he must have, even if I’m not sure there is a positive case to be made for the Union. Pity BT couldn’t deliver on their promise to communicate this most elusive of truths.
      I wonder what flavour of jam it will be and when it might arrive?

    84. ianbrotherhood says:

      @Roddy Macdonald (4.34)-
      Appreciate your take on it as I’m pretty-much certain that I won’t view the event or read the transcript.
      “…union, and devolution within it, safeguard Scotland’s interests and preserve our identity.”
      So – that was the highlight then?
      Oh dear.
      Continuing with the pimp/hooker analogy suggested by that disturbing ‘We Belong Together’ slogan, the ‘devolution within union’ nirvana he offers sounds more like a pervert telling his gimp that he’s free to wander about the sub-basement during office hours. (Of course, being allowed outside is out of the question.)
      Did anyone identify other ‘highlights’ worth pondering?

    85. Angus says:

      Isn’t it odd that the great leader of the positive better together campaign, tory (or is it labour-same thing) MP alistair darling can barely get double figures interested in a live broadcast and yet the Scotsman newspaper manages to get er, ‘39,000’ people to vote in favour of some ‘no’ campaign bollocks scotsman polls………………..overnight in about seven hours?
      A lot more than their woefully continuously dwindling circulation figures?

    86. Taranaich says:

      Is this what they mean by “We belong together”?
      Heh, maybe they’re going for the baby boomer crowd:

    87. Patrick Roden says:

      One of the highlights for me was when Alistair waxed lyrical about ‘Britain’s NHS’ ( eh?)
      and how this showed we all belonged together.
      I just hope none of they nasty cybernats I’ve heard about,  mention that Alistair has been getting paid a large wedge from a private health company that is promoting the privatisation of that very same NHS.

    88. Shinty says:

      I wonder what flavour of jam it will be and when it might arrive?
      Dry toast for you jocks and be grateful for it! (wee smiley thing)

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