Obviously stuff has continued to happen on the Speccy scene since then, so it’s now, in some senses, not quite so definitive. Or at least it wasn’t, until I updated it, which I’ve just done, so now it is again. Of it. Or something.
(I appear to have a debilitating compulsion to write top 100s for no very good reason. There’s also this one, and I’m currently working on yet another as a distraction from the wretched state of politics, so fans of subjectively-numbered lists of extremely old videogames should definitely stay tuned.)
I also wanted to have it all in one post rather than five, so now if you want to see the videos of the original arcade games you’ll have to click the titles of each entry – only the Speccy videos are embedded within the article, so the page SHOULD now actually load up without falling over.
There are loads of new entries, a few position adjustments – don’t get TOO excited, Bomb Jack fans – and a bit of general tidying, but I haven’t rewritten the entire thing because it’s 33,000 words and I’m not a lunatic, although those two facts are mostly unrelated. So if you haven’t seen it before, go and get a cup of tea and some biscuits, because this might take a while.
The 16K ZX Spectrum was definitely the ginger stepchild of the family of micros that defined home computing in the UK in the 1980s. With far less memory available to coders (just 9K) than a 16K ZX81, the £125 cost of the entry-level model – shockingly the equivalent of £416 now – didn’t get you all that much bang for your buck when it launched, even by the standards of April 1982.
The vast majority of purchasers wisely chose to save up the extra £50 for the 48K version (£175, or a hefty £582 in 2023 money, although still peanuts compared to the Commodore 64’s launch price of £1,327 equivalent), and the 16K Speccy very quickly fell out of favour. In fact it was withdrawn from sale after barely over a year on the shelves, with old stocks cleared at £99.
(There are no official figures for how many of the 5 million Spectrums sold were 16Ks, but Home Computing Weekly reported in May 1983 that 300,000 machines in total were sold in the first year, and in August 1983 Popular Computing Weekly reported that the 48K had outsold the 16K by two to one, so we can make a reasonable guess at somewhere between 120,000 and 150,000 units of the 16K in the year and a bit it was on sale, or roughly 3% of all Spectrums.)
But even in its very brief life (the vast bulk of these titles were released in 1983), the 16K machine amassed a library of fun games that left the catalogues of many better-specced computers in the dust. And for no particular reason other than that 40 years have passed since it abruptly met its fate, we’re here to celebrate them.
So sit yourself down with one of the last cans of Lilt (or don’t, because it’s full of poisonous artificial-sweetener chemicals now), get ready to fondly remember a few old favourites, and hopefully also discover some lost gems for the first time.
My Retropie setup is my favourite physical thing I’ve ever owned. For a total cost of about £300 (the Retropie box itself, plus a monitor and a double arcade joystick), I have instant access to just about the entire history of videogaming up to and including the original Playstation (plus some later stuff too, like the Nintendo DS).
But the physicality of it makes a huge difference. It’s hard to overstate what a complete revelation switching the Pi from a little box under my living-room TV controlled with Playstation joypads to a stand-up machine with proper joysticks was. It changed from something that was nice to have a little play on once in a while to something I use for pleasure every single day.
I was as pleased as a big fat walrus with a free bucket of haddock today to be able to contribute to the week-long one-off revival celebrating the 25th anniversary of the start of the majestic Digitiser.
Especially when I got a lovely new Panel 4 picture from Mr Biffo (instead of money). But I got a bit distracted in the column, and forgot to talk about the thing I meant to talk about, so I'm going to talk about it now.
…is Hell Yeah! – Wrath Of The Dead Rabbit, which is out today on Xbox 360, PS3 and Steam for PC at the bargaintastic price of around £9.99. It's a heady, super-sexy crush of Sonic The Hedgehog, Super Metroid, Bangai-O, Wario Ware, Pokemon and FIFA 13*, made by the people who brought you the splendid Pix'n Love Rush plus me. Essentially, if you don't buy it you're a complete dick and I hope you die.
If there's one thing we all love here at WoSland, it's a good old-fashioned All-Time Top 100. And from a critic's standpoint, we've long thought the gold standard was the 1991 Your Sinclair chart for the ZX Spectrum. Not for its writing, or even (so much) the games themselves, but because the list showcased an incredible breadth of game types, such as we never thought we'd see again in mainstream commercial gaming.
That was until iOS arrived, of course. Now, for the first time in 20 years, it's once again possible to create a legitimate one-format Top 100 in which there are barely any two games in the same genre. And to prove it, that's just what we've done. But there's something even more special about this particular list.
Returning from the shops yesterday, I picked up an unexpected A4 envelope from the hallway by the door. Angry letters from debt collectors aren't usually A4, so I opened it. Inside was a short note from my mum saying "This isn't The Dandy as I know it", attached to something so odd that I instantly knew I had to scan it for posterity and share it with my beloved viewers.
There are lots of great writers. Even within the professional community, let alone the general public, you’ll have a hard time getting two people to agree on who was the best ever. Was it Shakespeare? Orwell? Joyce? Sega Zone-era Jonathan Davies? The arguments echo timelessly through the ages.
I’ve got many heroes and inspirations of my own – Steven Wells, Miranda Sawyer, Barbara Ellen, Craig Kubey, Rosie Boycott, Douglas Adams and more. (Including the fictional composite entity Lloyd Mangram.)
But the greatest writer of all time is someone whose name I don’t even know, and who to earn the accolade only had to write a single word.
Sorry updates have been a bit thin on the ground for the last few days, viewers – I've been insanely busy with about eight different things, and probably will be until Monday. One of them was reaching a milestone with the mighty Free-App Hero, which has now featured a frankly amazing 500 games since being released four months ago and written 150,000 words (roughly two novels' worth) about them. Yikes.
Astoundingly, that translates to somewhere in the region of £5 million saved by the app's users since it came out, and all without having to spend hundreds of tedious hours wading through thousands of godawful ad-strewn games written by escaped mental patients in order to find the good stuff.
Anyway, here are some pictures of weird stuff I saw in the park last week.
Young Lochinvar on Barbie Stories: “Remember what generations before achieved with little but rural community spirit or in the factory cities; a ball or balled…” May 17, 01:54
Andrew scott on Barbie Stories: “Ok to that Two useless peas in a pod” May 16, 22:25
McDuff on Barbie Stories: “I just despair.” May 16, 21:27
Shug on Barbie Stories: “There can only be plants in HO letting these head cases through and giving them the Ok to produce such…” May 16, 20:56
Onlooker on Barbie Stories: “No, that was Kelly Given.” May 16, 20:50
Dan on Some Attention For James: “@Stu So jist the usual short dismissive response then, avoiding addressing any of the aspects mentioned. Re. Stuff you did…” May 16, 20:18
agent x on Some Attention For James: “Vivian O’Blivion says: The two dual-fuel ferries built for CalMac are approaching five times their contract price and are almost…” May 16, 19:20
Dan on Barbie Stories: “Previous. https://wingsoverscotland.com/fashion-and-crisis-hits-new-york/” May 16, 19:00
Jim Bo on Barbie Stories: “Wow, SNP certainly have a type don’t they.” May 16, 18:50
Andrew scott on Barbie Stories: “Is this not the nitwit who appeared on tv banging on about global warming after She had FLOWN to some…” May 16, 18:49
Bilbo on Barbie Stories: “I’ve done a quick internet search for her age but can’t find a definitive answer. I’m assuming that as you…” May 16, 18:45
Captain Caveman on Barbie Stories: “Feels like the SNP are trolling Scotland at this point. Fertile ground for Reform. Bring it on.” May 16, 18:11
twathater on Some Attention For James: “@ Jon drummond 3.34pm either you have NOT been paying attention or reading the comments BTL but Dan has never…” May 16, 18:04
Confused on Barbie Stories: “She’s perfect Makes you wish you had a spare cage in your sex dungeon. Or maybe, what the hell, move…” May 16, 18:00
twathater on Barbie Stories: “And this fuckwit was picked as a candidate for a once serious political party, they really are TROLLING the Scottish…” May 16, 17:42
Stuart MacKay on Barbie Stories: “Like him or loathe him, at least Salmond understood what political capital was, how to acquire it, and how to…” May 16, 16:39
Aidan on Barbie Stories: “I’m not sure I see the problem here, Sally seems like a good laugh and given the SNP aren’t bothering…” May 16, 16:38
Heather McLean on Barbie Stories: “Jeezus wept! In all seriousness, anyone voting for this bimbo really is as once stated by Johann Lamont “not genetically…” May 16, 16:12
Marie on Some Attention For James: “Correct Geri. Those who cannot see this injustice are wilfully blind.” May 16, 14:55
The Flying Iron of Doom on Barbie Stories: “Surely that would just be an image depicting the view from an aircraft? ” May 16, 14:52
sarah on Some Attention For James: “@ Geri at 3.21: The confusing name was no doubt thought to be a good idea! Sarah Salyers’ Salvo is…” May 16, 14:43
Young Lochinvar on Barbie Stories: “The highbrow approach to appeal to yoof culture voters..” May 16, 14:11
Ian on Barbie Stories: “Had I not known Sally was a real person, I would have assumed the SNP had put up an AI-generated…” May 16, 13:52
desimond on Barbie Stories: “Shame on you Rev…for not asking the next question Where is she gonna be on the List? Got the classic…” May 16, 13:40
Hatey McHateface on Barbie Stories: “You start with the bus. After a few years you graduate to a motor home. The keys to the Ferrari…” May 16, 13:13
Hatey McHateface on Barbie Stories: “I have it on good authority (ahem) that one of the defining characteristics of Barbie (besides having a void between…” May 16, 13:06
Hatey McHateface on Some Attention For James: ““In what world does a brutal invading force suddenly become the victim?” Ah ken that ane, Barbs, it’s Middle Earth…” May 16, 12:56
stonefree on Barbie Stories: “It’s quite sad that Barbie’s Ferrari is a Pink & Pale Blue Bus & not from Parks” May 16, 12:55
duncanio on Barbie Stories: “I live in Edinburgh Southern and … I never thought I’d say this … thank Christ for Daniel Johnson. Phew!” May 16, 12:51
Alison on Barbie Stories: “This is utterly shameful. I thought they’d pretty much sunk as far as they could with the ‘vote sexy’ messages…” May 16, 12:50