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They just can’t help it

Posted on January 08, 2015 by

“Wait, this story’s entirely true. Do something, Torcuil.”

fivedogs

“Sorted, boss.”

1 Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. 08 01 15 22:02

    They just can’t help it | FreeScotland

114 to “They just can’t help it”

  1. Brotyboy says:

    Good spot Rev.????

    Reply
  2. Simon Chadwick says:

    Reflection in the parked car

    Reply
  3. Brotyboy says:

    Okay, forget emojis on the iPhone. Meant to be a wink.

    Reply
  4. Simon Chadwick says:

    Camera shake?

    Reply
  5. Simon Chadwick says:

    The 6th dog is a different breed? I give up.

    Reply
  6. Robert Knight says:

    They trolling!

    Reply
  7. Paul says:

    To be fair, it’s as close to the truth as you are likely to get In the DR.

    Reply
  8. Restlessnative says:

    I had an Alsatian puppy once,got him from the local blacksmiths.
    Had him home 10 mins and he made a bolt for the door.

    Reply
  9. David says:

    Meatloaf sequel song: “Five outta six ain’t bad”.

    Reply
  10. robert urquhart says:

    5 super trained and one not so much??

    Reply
  11. Stu Magoo says:

    The sixth ones called Kezia! Woof!

    Reply
  12. Rod says:

    Obviously the other one is – in training – a passer by – not actually with them – photoshopped . . . .

    Reply
  13. Philbers says:

    Chortle 😀

    Reply
  14. Barbara McKenzie says:

    Damn, got there too late!

    Reply
  15. Robert Bryce says:

    Murphy’s Law!

    Reply
  16. Jack McKenzie says:

    5 alsatians out of 6 say they prefer the Daily Record….for shitting on.

    Reply
  17. Ian Brotherhood says:

    Clearly, the ??? dog doesn’t belong to the guy, but fancied going along for the walk. Quite obvious really, as it doesn’t even look like the other ones and is walking in quite a gemmy manner. Sorted.

    Reply
  18. Findlay Farquaharson says:

    thats fuck all, my black lab brings me a cuppa tea in bed then nips down to newsagents and picks up my national.

    Reply
  19. Luigi says:

    There are only five real dogs. Number 6 is an unemployed foreigner, and therefore doesn’t count.

    Reply
  20. BrianW says:

    one, two, three, four, five once i caught a lying Editor Alive,

    six, seven, eight nine ten, then i let IT go again..

    Why did you let IT go..

    Cause IT printed loads o shite..

    What shite did it print..

    So might shite it’d give yi the frights..

    Reply
  21. fletch49er says:

    *** STOP PRESS ***
    DR journalist has finally carried out a piece of journalistic investigation, and the above article has been amended to include the 6th dog glaringly present in the photograph.

    Reply
  22. Dr Jim says:

    They’re figures just don’t add up!

    Reply
  23. Stoker says:

    Spread the word far and wide.
    link to facebook.com

    Reply
  24. daddydode says:

    His hands are holding leads look at the position of them been wiped off

    Reply
  25. ronnie anderson says:

    Thanks to Jock Janet Ninja.

    link to youtube.com

    Reply
  26. Dr Jim says:

    Sorry! meant…Their…

    Reply
  27. heedtracker says:

    Je suis an idiot.
    ed.
    Daily Rancid

    Reply
  28. Lollysmum says:

    Clearly they are pathologically unable to tell the truth even when it’s capable of biting them on the bum. The Records original article says six German Shepherds soooo-is it reading or maths lessons that’s needed?

    Reply
  29. JasU says:

    They obviously read Wings…they’ve changed it to Six now.

    Reply
  30. SquareHaggis says:

    Dugs eh?

    link to tinyurl.com

    Reply
  31. alexicon says:

    Is it any wonder why its called the daily retard?

    Help! Sometime last year I vaguely remember reading on here about a labour person saying on twitter something along the lines of: having food banks is a sign of having an affluent society/country.

    Ring any bells?

    Reply
  32. Clootie says:

    Sorry – I have a vow promising six.

    Reply
  33. Lollysmum says:

    @ Ronnie Anderson

    My thanks to you & the Yew Choob crew- Big Dim Jim is brilliant 😉

    Reply
  34. MJS Dundee says:

    Worse luck, they’ve changed the live article to say 6. Presume someone has the orig archive.

    Reply
  35. Lesley-Anne says:

    Oh come on folks the heading of this extremely educational and informative article is, figuratively accurate, there are FIVE dogs in the picture. 😀 The problem the D.R. has is that they do not have anyone who can count above the number 5 without getting completely confused. 😛

    Just be thankful folks that no one at the D.R. has been able, yet, to get their clammy paws on the BBC Calculator because we all know what will happen then … the five will become five HUNDRED! 😀

    Reply
  36. MJS Dundee says:

    Should probably have added, since when does a not interesting picture/video of an American walking some dogs copied from the net become print media news?

    Oh sorry, it’s the Daily Rancid.

    Reply
  37. handclapping says:

    I cannae cope when its more than one hand.
    Yin, Twa, Thrice, Fower, Fife, help!

    Reply
  38. alistair says:

    Anyone seen this link to Dick Gaughan telling BBC to stuff their Celtic Connections concert due to referendum bias.
    Good on you Dick. Hopefully more will follow.
    link to deadlinenews.co.uk

    Reply
  39. Alex Clark says:

    Nice one ronnie.

    Thanks Jock and Ninja, we’re still hanging around eh!

    Reply
  40. AnneDon says:

    Apart from the mysterious extra dog in the photo, I thought you had to keep German Shepherds on a leash?

    Reply
  41. Les Wilson says:

    Their reporters cannot count, just like their editors.

    Reply
  42. ronnie anderson says:

    @Lollysmum
    @Alex Clark

    They people at Yew Choob are incorrigible.Did I mention they,re olso very talented,its My privelage to know them.

    Reply
  43. scotspine says:

    It was 5 dogs until Murphy read it. He called the editor and insisted there were 6.

    Reply
  44. donald anderson says:

    I used to have rough collie dug and rarely used a lead. She would walk ahead and wait at every street corner from me. She would jump in the back seat of the car before I knew it and I took her everywhere.

    I had a pal whose wife left him and took the dug. He really missed that dug.

    Reply
  45. Jock Scot says:

    Alex

    The Chairchoob,Ian Davidson hasn’t got around to bayoneting us yet so we’re just passing the time..hope you are well my friend

    Reply
  46. Graeme Doig says:

    Well done Mr Gaughan. Great to hear about someone wi a bit of integrity.

    Not going to spoil the moment by watching QT that’s for sure.

    Reply
  47. HandandShrimp says:

    The Daily Record…never knowingly accurate.

    Reply
  48. Nana Smith says:

    @Ronnie Anderson

    Damn fine wee ditty from yourself and Jock’s team.

    Reply
  49. The Man in the Jar says:

    Easy peasy. Lots of Hendrix fans at the Record. 🙂

    Jimi Hendrix. If 6 was 9.

    link to youtube.com

    Reply
  50. De Valera says:

    Don’t know if they are just incompetent or they are going in an Orwellian direction.

    “How many dogs are there in the photo Winston?”

    Reply
  51. Nation Libre says:

    Looks like dog numbers are volatile

    Reply
  52. mary vasey says:

    Ronnie Anderson- that video is hilarious, had tears running doon ma cheeks. Well done AYE

    Reply
  53. Bob Mack says:

    Must be the guy that calculates Englands and Scotlands share of the oil revenues

    Reply
  54. mary vasey says:

    Alexicon ‘re foodbanks it was a teacher at Aboyne academy I think

    Reply
  55. Indyracer2014 says:

    There’s an obvious reason for the miscount. Big Dim Jim has pledged to provide 1 more dog than the SNP provided.

    Reply
  56. ronnie anderson says:

    @ Nana Smith ah hiv a long wie tae go tae emulate your contabrution.

    Reply
  57. ronnie anderson says:

    @ Mary Vasey all credits due to Jock, Ninja, Janet, ah jist hiv ah wee diddy part lol.

    @ heedtracker its alrite noo am back on song lol.

    Reply
  58. Alex Clark says:

    Nah ronnie.

    Nana’s great, but you too bring your own unique contribution.

    Reply
  59. Tackety Beets says:

    Thanks Rev .
    Thanks to all the early posters , great to have a bit o humour on the threads .
    Sorry I can’t add more tho’

    O/T Scotland 2015 tonight .Much as I like Stewart Hosie , I felt he missed out by not asking Lewis M what difference is between the two types of Funds ? and how would Scot Gvt possibly fund it ?
    That’s what the public need to know .
    QT , I thought it before and I still think it , the Torys really missed a trick when they did not vote for David Davis to get the top job . Not up to speed on all his politics etc but he always strikes me as too good for them !
    Thank for link above ;
    Round of applause from our pre Ref poster pre Mr Dick Gaughan.
    Well done Sir ????

    Reply
  60. Jock Scot says:

    @Nana..cheers pal..he is an inspiration

    @Mary…thanks it’s what we aim for

    @Indyracer made me laugh, cheers

    @Ronnie.. cheers, Pa 🙂

    Reply
  61. GP Walrus says:

    Was that their lead story?

    Reply
  62. Natasha says:

    GP Walrus
    Boom boom. 🙂

    Reply
  63. GP Walrus says:

    I’m here all week

    Reply
  64. ronnie anderson says:

    @ Alex Clark .Neck brace back on Alex thanks fur gein me a big heid lol.

    Reply
  65. X_Sticks says:

    Big Dim Jim. Whit a hoot.

    Thanks folks I was needing a laugh.

    Thought you had gone tae yer bed Ronnie 😉

    Reply
  66. Chic McGregor says:

    Maybe one of them was a Yes woofer?

    Reply
  67. H says:

    Maybe on the dogs is fuckwit hence the count of 5

    Reply
  68. cearc says:

    Ronnie and Yew Choob,

    Brilliant. Big, Dim, Jim.

    Reply
  69. bookie from hell says:

    Jim Murphy

    #10001 dalmations

    Reply
  70. Tackety Beets says:

    Emojis u/s on I-Pad too ?

    ??? Meant to be ” Hand Clap ”
    Apologise to DG , I hope you do still read .

    Reply
  71. MoJo says:

    1005 surely

    Reply
  72. desimond says:

    6 dugs or 5 dugs…either way its a lot of shite!

    Reply
  73. Papadox says:

    The establishment/HMG/EBC & MSM Have a plan for the SNP & Scotland, regarding the WESTMINSTER lottery. Give them as little exposure as possible and keep pushing the lies, disinformation and anti SCOTTISH propaganda that you can get away with, then they will wither and die, job done.

    The ENGLISH BROADCASTING CORPORATIN and MSM will do the job for them via their spineless lying employees, the ones who are honest will just have to keep their heads down and do as they are told.

    As my old mother used to say “OUT OF SIGHT OUT OF MIND”

    Reply
  74. ronnie anderson says:

    @ X Sticks naw that wiz earlier on got pissed aff watching FMQs then hiving tae read it awe day, ah wiz at the point of crackin up so took time oot tae calm ma jets.

    Reply
  75. Alex Clark says:

    @desimond

    Agreed.

    Reply
  76. Betty Boop says:

    @ Ronnie Anderson

    Thanks for the link to the video, Ronnie. You were born for the stage! 🙂

    Great stuff from you, Ninja and Yew Choob – your efforts keep the rest of us going. Thanks for the laughs. 🙂

    Reply
  77. Eddie Black says:

    Canny coont

    Reply
  78. K1 says:

    O/T
    Worth remembering the lengths our great uk gov go to, to keep us serfs in our place…and the lies upon which history is re written by those whose interests it serves to accommodate and maintain their own positions. (from Rev’s twitter feed earlier):

    ‘Thatcher vs the miners: official papers confirm the strikers’ worst suspicions’

    link to archive.today

    The comments and discussion btw is well worth the read imv.

    Reply
  79. Lesley-anne says:

    I think I’ve figured out where the *ahem* extra dug came from. It was the dug that was out with the Three men when they went to Mow a meadow but it decided mowing a meadow was not for it and decided to go for a long walk with its five mates instead. 😀

    Reply
  80. boris says:

    From Libya to London – The World of a Wild Child Turned Power – Broker. The Financier Nat Rothschild is at The Centre of a Web of International Intrigue

    Once again, the name of Nat Rothschild has emerged at the centre of web of intrigue, with questions over his links to Libya, his friendship with Peter Mandelson and his alleged role in the release of the Lockerbie bomber. Indeed, his name seems to be linked with almost every influential, rich and powerful person on the globe, from billionaires to presidents and royalty.

    His sphere of influence, it has been revealed, now extends even into Libya, which during the 1980s and 1990s was reviled as a terrorist state. Seif Gaddafi, President Muammar Gaddafi’s son, was the guest of honour at a party held by the financier in New York in 2008 and this year he allowed his home in Corfu to be the venue for a meeting between the Libyan and Lord Mandelson.

    link to caltonjock.com

    Reply
  81. ronnie anderson says:

    @ Betty Boop an we could hiv hud anither hit on oor hawns wie
    In The Tunnel but the wans ah wiz wie that day couldna sing it lol.is this you or Jim

    Reply
  82. Cactus says:

    Hey dudes and doodettes, Scotland is a bonnie place.. who’s still up? Cheers the C.

    HEY, C’mon!

    Reply
  83. Patrician says:

    Shouldn’t really do this but there was a very informative documentary on BBC2 earlier tonight about the super-rich, well worth a watch:

    link to bbc.co.uk

    Interesting interviews and viewpoints, showing some footage of protests not usually covered by the BBC. My wife asked “Is this really being shown on the BBC?”

    Reply
  84. Macduff says:

    RESEVOIR DUGDALES……!!!!!!! Duplicitous backstabbers

    Reply
  85. FairiefromEarth says:

    five of the dogs are his the other one is his girlefriends.

    Reply
  86. Macart says:

    @Ronnie

    Superb! 😀

    Coffee an’ toast everywhere.

    Didn’t the Record suffer a few redundancies recently? Mibbies some wag nicked the office calculator on the way oot. 🙂

    Reply
  87. Ken500 says:

    Would that be Rothschild financed with Oil money. A relation of the unelected Rothschild who (secretly) devised the Poll Tax or the Rothschild who instigated the Balfour Agreement? All coming together.

    Reply
  88. Bugger (the Panda) says:

    This looks like NY or some other US city, although at this moment it the dugs would be in husky array towing the boss.

    It is more of a tight pack than Scotland has seen for some years.

    Reply
  89. tactile vision says:

    @alexicon 9:59pm

    Rev Stu covered the food banks “normal” story from August.

    link to wingsoverscotland.com

    Reply
  90. Sinky says:

    The National which we should all buy on a daily basis reports that Jim Murphy voted for foundation hospitals and privatisation of NHS in England.

    Call Kaye dealing with falling oil prices and Home Rule.
    BBC RADIO SCOTLAND MORNING CALL
    Call 0500 92 95 00. Text 80295.
    Email morningcallscotland@bbc.co.uk

    Despite contributing £185 billion surplus to UK Treasury, Scotland’s “deficit” includes a share of UK’s deficit and even at current oil prices our fiscal deficit is no worse than bankrupt Britain’s £100 bn annual shortfall.

    From Financial Times 2 February 2014

    Even excluding the North Sea’s hydrocarbon bounty, (Scotland’s) per capita GDP is higher than that of Italy. Oil, whisky and a broad range of manufactured goods mean an independent Scotland would be one of the world’s top 35 exporters.

    Reply
  91. heraldnomore says:

    Aw c’mon Stu, you know as well as the rest of us that we’re just not genetically programmed to count dugs.

    The sixth one was probably a postal dug.

    Reply
  92. Sinky says:

    More on Scotland’s subsidy to London Treasury

    link to businessforscotland.co.uk

    Reply
  93. Nana Smith says:

    A new a dossier of disgrace published by Unite, Britain’s biggest union reveals that 71 coalition MPs with links to private healthcare interests voted to sell-off our beloved NHS.

    link to welfareweekly.com

    Reply
  94. Calgacus says:

    @Ken500

    Aye, we don’t need to look far to see who is behind “better together” – Rothschild and the Anglo-Zionist empire.

    Robbing Scotland of our resources to line their greedy pockets with the help of the Zionist controlled media.

    Reply
  95. Nana Smith says:

    A new YouSight poll of over 1000 undergrads shows that the Greens are now the second choice for students – beating the Tories and lagging just behind Labour.

    link to tab.co.uk

    link to politicalscrapbook.net

    link to highland-news.co.uk

    Reply
  96. Greannach says:

    Investigative journalism at its Scottish best. Not exactly Charlie Hebdo.

    Reply
  97. Ken500 says:

    Scotland would have a £16Billion+ Fund to deal with any Oil downturn, if the ConDems haup not put up NS Oil taxes 11% in the 2011 Budget. Plus £1Billion lose (£4Billion) on no tax on ‘loss leading’ alcohol. £1.5Billion lost on Trident/illegal wars. (£6Billion) = £26Billion lost Revenues in 4 years. It was the LibDems from Oil dependant constituencies who supported these policies.

    Instead of having the cheek coming to Aberdeen with his lies, Carmichael should go to Orkney to explain his policies to those who elected him, and whose livelihood are in jeapody.

    The 11% tax increase was an attempt to jeapodise the NS Oil sector for political purposes.

    £26Billion+ Scotland has lost in 4 years because of Westminster policies. Vote SNP

    Reply
  98. mumsyhugs says:

    Looks like they borrowed Danny Alexander’s calculator! 🙂

    Reply
  99. OK – some caption writer at the Record fucked-up; but, shit happens. The bigger story here is the standard of journalism in Scotland.

    When I started in the Fourth Estate, back in the 1960s, every paper had proof readers, tasked with picking-up and sorting such boobs as this – cost-cutting saw them dispensed with some 20-25 years ago.

    This put the onus for spotting mistakes onto the subs, who were already doing more work thanks to the new technology taking-out case-rooms and paste-up. Then the bean counters started to get rid of subs, and more mistakes crept in.

    In any case, this story originated in the USA, I have seen the same story on my BT broadband home page. OK, the bard-pressed Record sub getting the number of dogs wrong is embarrassing and sloppy – the lack of genuine Scottish stories, plus the paper’s Londoncentric Unionist political stance are the real scandals around the paper.

    Yes, the Record is a terrible newspaper, but, there are worse things to complain about in the paper than this stupid mistake – but, human nature being what it is, we can still enjoy a laugh at this.

    Reply
  100. Nana Smith says:

    Another article re the fall in oil prices…

    link to economywatch.com

    Reply
  101. galamcennalath says:

    And here’s me thinking it was Murphy and his new personal protection squad.

    Reply
  102. Ken500 says:

    The Oil industry jobs losses predicted are 35,000 over five years. Ie 7,000 a year. (UK ) in Scotland 1000+ ? a year. Renewables/fishing/Education/NHS/tourism/construction are alternatives.

    Fiscal autonomy/Independence would create more jobs. Ie different economic policies.

    Reply
  103. Stoker says:

    Peaceful Protest March Against The BBC – 15.03.2015

    “The General Election is in May, as we know from our fight for Independence the BBC will be a big stinking propaganda machine as usual, not forgetting the recent revelations of their coverups of paedophilia.”

    “It is now time again to bring as much attention to this as possible and before the elections, we shall meet at George Square and walk peacefully to the BBC studios to make ourselves seen and heard once again by publicly exposing the BBC for all their corrupt ways..”

    link to facebook.com

    Reply
  104. Free Scotland says:

    It’s obvious the folks at the record read Wings, otherwise they’d probably never have noticed.

    Reply
  105. gillie says:

    I hear a deep depression has fallen on Labour MSPs with the news of the appointment of John McTernan as Jim Murphy’s chief of staff.

    Kezia Dugdale is to have a meeting with John McTernan to discuss her po0r performance at FMQs yesterday. Expect rant-filled storms, downpours of foul mouthed abuse and gale force dressing downs.

    Reply
  106. Dick, yir a better man than I’ll ever be. Respect.

    Reply
  107. Robert Peffers says:

    @Dr Jim says:8 January, 2015 at 9:39 pm:

    They’re figures just don’t add up!

    So That’s where Danny Alexander left his calculator!

    Reply
  108. alexicon says:

    Remember we were better together because we have strong armed forces?
    Seems we don’t after all.

    link to dailymail.co.uk

    Reply
  109. alexicon says:

    Thanks to all those that assisting in my request above.

    Reply
  110. Capella says:

    @ K1 1.05 am
    Read the article you linked to and the first few comments. One by Mervyn Hyde about 9 down at the moment, was very interesting I thought.
    One point: Paul Mason says that the Thatcher government decided not to call in the troops. But I heard of young Scottish soldiers, stationed in Germany, who were brought back to Britain, dressed up in police uniforms, and set against the miners. Their families were so shocked by this that they bought them out of the army.

    Reply
  111. Robert Kerr says:

    @alexicon

    The defence review cancelled the Nimrods after 5Billion pounds had been spent.

    OK.

    But immediate destruction of the aircraft was implemented making the decision irrevocable.

    Why? and by whom?

    What sort of people have we making decisions. Barstewards of the first order!

    Some forward thinking by our masters perhaps? An independent Scotland could have a need for these. Let’s disadvantage them!

    This story shall take legs before the GE. Let’s assist!

    Reply
  112. Callum says:

    the dog on the right is Austrian. Can’t you tell?

    Reply
  113. Brian Powell says:

    Would Wigs put out a booklet of McTernan’s predictions and statements, it would be useful for campaigning over the next few months. I’d take part in a crowd funding.

    Or perhaps a section on the page to download.

    Reply
  114. Brian Powell says:

    Wings not wigs!

    Reply


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    • panda paws on The Pillars Of Sanity: “However deranged this week has been, I have every faith that next week will be the gift that keeps on…Jul 19, 15:47
    • agent x on The Pillars Of Sanity: “Meanwhile I am really enjoying watching the beautiful talented women playing in the EURO’s 25 without seeing big bollocked men…Jul 19, 15:45
  • A tall tale



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