Despatches from hostile territory
Posted on
August 27, 2013 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
As befits quality investigative journalism, we’ve had our shadowy agents scouring the streets of Glasgow since yesterday looking for the location of the No campaign’s top-secret “public meeting” on Saturday. We think one of them may have stumbled across it, as we just received this encrypted image on our special secure email account.
(Apologies for the low resolution, but we’re having to use an old dial-up connection to stop “Better Together” hacking into it and revealing that we surreptitiously gave the milkman a £5 “bung” last week to bring round a daily pinta for our tea break.)
Ah makes sense – they are using a UK Border Control office.
Hey, that’s the letterbox to my (very much Yes-voting) sister’s flat…
Alas,being so close to the truth I think some of the comedic value of the photo is lost…
First Johann Lamont disappears, and now Alistair Darling apparently doesn’t want anyone to know where the Glasgow launch will be held. Are BT going underground?
Luigi says: Are BT going underground?
Isn’t that where they come from!
Since they used Napier Uni for their launch last year I wonder if Glasgow Uni would be a contender – especially after the Yes/No poll saw the No vote win.
Haha hahs, maybe it’s on the underground! The Orangemen will love it, there,s a stop at Ibrox and it just goes round in circles like most of Darlings speeches!
Are BT going underground?
Got it! It’s on the Metro!
Think where Yes Glasgow was launched. Now think how BT doctor numbers – a chance for them to proclaim a bigger attendance than Yes at the same venue?
And Ian Gray’s subway refuge is but a few hundred yards away.
I wonder if they’re really doing this to try to keep the OO out? Hard to know what a bunch of Orangemen would do that would be so bad, at a meeting like that, though. Crass and bigoted comments aren’t wonderful but hardly worth this secrecy to avoid.
Incidentally, rumour has it that Ms Lamont has been secreted on a special course run at Eton College and Balliol.
She has been heard repeating with diction more usually associated with Julie Andrews: “The rain in North Britain will fall almost entirely on the ghastly separatists, dontcha know, what?” over and over again.
It’s not easy being Ed’s man in Scotland.
You know it really does merit at least a small, comedy item in the newspapers, this grand launch at a “public meeting” that you have to be given the secret password to find out where it’s being held. Any bets on whether any journalist will use the material? Looks like a free gift to me, but I bet they give it a body-swerve.
It shouldn’t be too hard to find the venue – Just put a tail on wee Rennie as he makes his way to join Alistair in the bunker.
If you ever wondered what Project Fear can buy from a £500,000 donation. Then have a peek at this;
link to youtube.com
50 seconds in and you will notice the portrait of Blair McDougall on one of the reception walls at 5 Blythswood Square.
The BBC at Pacific Quay has a grey appearance doesn’t it?
& the guy in the pic looks like Raymond Buchanan!
Sorted!!!!
We’ll know if the Herald really has turned if their assigned reporter to this event is Rab MacNeil.
They are bound to be suspicious that evil cybernats are trying to get in. They will be looking at all the applications and saying what gives? No one normally wants to come to our events.
Morag
Kevin, who is developing a wonderful line in carnaptious misanthropy might consider it meat and drink for one of his “what the hell has happened to the Labour party” pieces.
Could it be that they don’t want the Orange Order, UKIP, BNP, Johann Lamont and SDL/EDL all in the same room at the same time?
I thought id make some edits
link to imgur.com
Hope NC dont mind me using an image from their site
Training Day, I think your going a bit far there claiming that Better Together doctor numbers, I mean just because they are now claiming in their e mails that they have put out 4 million leaflets, knocked on over 350,000 doors and held over 1500 events, does not prove a certain economy of truth. But it might go to show why the British economy is always in a mess when it comes to dealing with numbers .Anybody care to do a bit of analysis on those figures btw?
1500 events? Are they including the world tour of a certain councillor?
Jim
I am just delighted that of the 4m leaflets printed none have made it through my door although I do wonder sometimes if my postie jettisons the flyers…not that I am complaining.
1500 events? Then Yes must have had 1500 events as well because we all know that you can’t have one without the other.
Memphisto says:
I thought id make some edits
http://imgur.com/2Bt1jCx
Excellent. That looks like a scene where Dennis Canavan is knocking on the door asking for a debate!
Looks like we have gotten ourselves a Better Together plant in the Scotsman.
“Jim Gallagher: Referendum comes down to money”
link to scotsman.com
and on Twitter
Better Together @UK_Together
Must read article from Jim Gallagher in today’s @scotsmanpaper analysing Scotland’s trade & economy http://better.tg/12GVtEW #indyref
Did money change hands?
On the topic of Blair McDougall, I think I found his previous incarnation…
link to youtu.be
@Gillie
I’d say the vice chair of snpstudents looks like a Better Together plant to me.
If Chris Glendinning and Magnus Jamieson are in any way representative of anything to do with Yes Scotland I’d vote No on principle, and enjoy doing it.
#thelivesofothers
P.S. @RevStu You forget to tell him to set fire to it after the roll up and following action. So he can smoke it.
To those who doubt the “350,000 doors” figure, I put it to you that B&Q have a lot of doors.
“they have put out 4 million leaflets, knocked on over 350,000 doors and held over 1500 events”.
Aye Jim, I turned up for one of the ‘events’ they ran at Bearsden Burgh Hall in May. I searched in vain for any BT representative – there was literally no one there (not even our plucky friend from Newcastle). Doubtless it’ll still count as an ‘event’ though, and be reported as such by our intrepid investigative journos.
Noticed PCSA is on a Scotsman thread saying that Nicola Sturgeon knew of Bill Walker’s abusive past before he was selected as SNP candidate and that she should stand down in his usual argumentative style repeatedly coming back at anyone who disagrees.
Sorry. Above and beyond and all that.
Nicola was very clear on interview that the information pointing to Walker’s abusive past was received by her constituency office, not her personally, and was quite properly passed straight to SNP HQ because it was a party matter not a constituency one. She didn’t even know about it, never mind deal with it.
Fergus H says:
On the topic of Blair McDougall, I think I found his previous incarnation…
link to youtu.be
Bloody hell Fergus that was great. Undercover reporter meets movie director.
im on tenterhooks for the reapearance of lamont, cant wait
Who???
i love hearing her speak, the confrontational tone which she thinks is the natural way to argue, her reading from her scripts and her huffin an puffin, great stuff
1500 BT events?
That is 100 events a month. 3 events a day.
They must be counting visits to the loo.
“1500 BT events?
That is 100 events a month. 3 events a day.
They must be counting visits to the loo.”
I think, in all seriousness, handing one leaflet to one person in the street in Wick is an “event” in BT terms.
Talking of BT and their numbers…..
link to twitter.com
and visits to the hideout
Albalha says:
27 August, 2013 at 3:28 pm
Talking of BT and their numbers…..
link to twitter.com
Love the 1st comment!!
Also, one of those ladies was almost certain to be the exhibitor / organiser.
@FergusH
Thanks for the video, rather cheered me up, very funny and yet, at the same time, horribly apposite.
Let these seeds grow and grow and grow.
Talking of BT and their numbers…..
link to twitter.com
Who are these students who are desperate to pay tuition fees and land themselves with mountains of debt?
Was there a Yes stall there? If not, why were these two worthies not arrested and deported to Guantanamo Bay?
OT
But has anyone seen the latest Private Eye….interesting little piece about on Page 9 about the Governor General….sorry Scottish Secretary Michael Moore and his secret meetings with RBS and Barclays.
Private Eye had it’s FoI requests for who attended these meetings and what was discussed declined……
Iain Hislop may have described the whole independence debate as ‘silly’ and pinned his Unionist colour to his chest but the Eye at least is honest……
The final 2 paras in full below….(my emphasis)
‘Could the reason for the secrecy be that discussions touched on the forthcoming independence referendum and the future of financial services in Scotland after a possible ‘Yes’ vote ?
In May, Moore issued report with Treasury Minister Sajid Javid suggesting that RBS would flee an independent Scotland. Trying to raise the spectre of a possible RBS exit, thus adding to the “fear factor” being generated by the anti independence brigade, is one of the coalition’s anti SNP strategies. Conversely, Scottish Nationalist leader Alex Salmond opened Barclays Wealth’s new Edinburgh office last year, hailing it as “another sign of the potential of Scotland’s financial service sector.”
Given the way they were all over Salmonds entirely appropriate meetings with the Murdochs I expect the Scottish media will now be all over Michael Moore for the contents of these ‘secret meetings’ to find out if any backroom deals where done…..
Oh right this is the Scottish mainstream media we’re talking about.
Look who’s on the door of BT’s sooper seekrit public meeting:
link to imgur.com
Woo Hoo megsmaw06
… You win the sweep for the first person to find Lamont. CONGRATULATIONS!
What do I win? I hope it’s no a jar of unionist jam, I’ve had that before and it turned out tae be an empty jam jar painted red.
I came into possession of a quantity of many BT pens just recently. Don’t ask how, but they have become a great conversation starter. I take out the spring and give them away and the shock when they dont work has caused many folk to come back with comments such as:
It doesnt work, its useless, plus other naughty words.
My response is ‘What did you expect? Now let me tell you about something that will work’ Oh I love this.
I went to the Wallace Day Rally in Elderslie on Saturday. One of the speakers was a lovely woman by the name of Lesley Matthews. Her speech was spellbinding. She is a natural orator and had us all enthralled. She should be on the stage with the rest of them at the Edinburgh Rally in September. She would certainly set the heather on fire.
TheGreatBaldo says:
27 August, 2013 at 4:02 pm
OTBut has anyone seen the latest Private Eye….interesting little piece about on Page 9 about the Governor General….sorry Scottish Secretary Michael Moore and his secret meetings with RBS and Barclays.
The Unionists played the same card about the Banks moving to England in 1979 and in 1999.
OTBut has anyone seen the latest Private Eye….interesting little piece about on Page 9 about the Governor General….sorry Scottish Secretary Michael Moore and his secret meetings with RBS and Barclays.
I’m still in the huff with them, though I’m glad to see they’re carrying on the important work.
I’m afraid Family commitments prevented me from attending , but I did accidental happen to be passing the Mitchell just before 1 carrying a copy of the Scotsman with eye holes cut out, either everyone was terribly early or a bit late but as you can see they weren’t exactly queuing round the block to be signed in.
link to amcphee.co.uk
Unless my eyes deceive me, there is at least a van full of the Bosch!
Bussed in from just below Birmingham?