A helping hand
Posted on
July 11, 2013 by
Rev. Stuart Campbell
You’re not too late to catch Alistair Darling’s latest unveiling of “the positive case for the Union” via a live webcast on the “Better Together” website this morning. As we write he’s 10 minutes late, and the audience is rocketing towards triple figures.
We’re all playing bingo. Come and join us.
How many viewers is that once BT members and journalists are counted for? Nearly double figures?
More like nearly single figures, I suspect.
Was up up at 104 but then dropped to 98 whilst it was on. The blank screen, strange scrabbling noises round the mike, the muffled mumbling in the background and dropped service probably aren’t helping. I wonder how many viewers BT will claim tuned in?
Actually, after I’d watched the 25 second advert for the National Geographic channel I lost interest.
Ian Taylors money must be gone, The webcast has a two paper cup and string quality to it.
on 100meg broadband
Ooh, I posted on the last thread without realising this was here….
I have a source who claimed they were expecting 250 people this morning (live at the event I mean, not on the viewer thingy whatsit)
I will ask for a count afterwards.
“I have a source who claimed they were expecting 250 people this morning (live at the event I mean”
Picture here:
link to twitter.com
Suggests max of maybe 120-ish in total. (84 visible in shot.)
And they expect us to have confidence in their judgement? Major Facepalm.
Better watching the Shard ascent
link to iceclimb.savethearctic.org
You know if you stare at those lines long enough you can start to see images appearing….try it!
Am I the only one that is getting no picture? Either that or he has NOTHING possitive to say – thought as much!
STU – you do realise that WOS has just boosted the viewing figure?
Better Together – brought to you by Web 0.000000002.
Is this coming from the same bunker where Johann has been for the last wee while?
And I thought Virgin Media’s youtube streaming problems were bad.
*blows an eerie wind sound for effect*
There goes the tumbleweed…
No, I am getting a spinny wheel and a frozen, extremely fuzzy picture of Captain Flipper. Dammit – I was really looking forward to that too.
Must admit the venue does look busy from the pic on twitter.
I can sing a rainbow too.
I hope the Rev is screengrabbing all the most exciting moments.
The wheels are going round – but nothing is coming out! Hang on – that’s their overall strategy is it not?
Better Together will be putting up ten 200kb GIF animations later on for those who couldn’t access the stream.
I hope Darling apologises on Twitter for this catastrophe. Him and his cronies went on about it all yesterday. I missed my chance to go to the van for soup so I could watch a blank screen. Nobbers!
Clicked on to see the viewer numbers whizz forward from 133 to 149 – are they implementing the Glenrothes Gazump Accumulator?
“Picture here:
link to twitter.com
Suggests max of maybe 120-ish in total. (84 visible in shot.)”
Here is a photo of the empty venue:
link to flickr.com
– I will post pic of paint drying in a moment
full capacity is 300
“Here is a photo of the empty venue:”
Nice one. Looks like 16 rows of 15, so 240 seated.
Is there no live coverage of paint drying or grass growing available?
Fair few empty seats in the photo (right hand side shows this obviously).
And does anyone else find the slogan ‘We belong together’ weird and creepy?
Surely some body there should have waved a Saltire. We’ll need to sharpen up. Seriously though this frenzy about Salmond’s Wimbeldon Saltire can be used to great advantage.
It is now firmly established as the independence flag
I’m a way out for a pole to hoist mine in my garden (and I think I may put up two).
@ clarinda problems in Glenrothes coming soon
11.30am and now at 78 views, well 77 now that I’ve left
We also now know why Better Together have been concentrating on all the doom and gloom, because when it comes to all this lovey-dovey stuff, their even worse
I think it’s all over.
Fuzzy picture of abandoned lectern. Quite poignant really.
120 ish
20 journos
20 Bitter Together and Labour locals
60 a double decker bus full up from Newcastle on a work experience jolly
20 infiltrators
Maybe this is an existential speech on the positive case for the union where nobody actually turns up to say anything because it is reflective of the silent majority that are not shouty nationalists… or something.
We apologise for the lack of possitivity – In the meantime here’s some music!
The Bitter Together team
120 folk? So that’ll be 250 in BetterTogether arithmetic then.
I bet most of the on line ‘viewers’ were trying to access the thing from this site. They don’t appear to be terribly well organised at this ‘technology thing’
Bunch of idiots.
No sign of the jaikit in the audience.I thought I’d spied it,but its just a sleeveless top.I think I saw her off coronation street in the back row.
You almost have to feel sorry for Darling. He seems to be being nobbled from all angles by his own side. That “we’ll annex parts of Argyll and force weapons on you” the night before his speech and the rapid climb down on that just before it must have had him tearing his hear out.
Still, couldn’t happen to a nicer bloke…
@ Scottish Skier
it’s a message for his Mrs, rumour has it…….
Better Together @UK_Together 5m
Thanks to everyone that followed our live tweets & livestream – apologies for any technical problems at the start #BetterTogether
At the start? I got bugger all all the way through.
Better Together: brilliant at rigging Scotsman polls; shit at moving pictures.
It’s nice that they will let you watch an advert before they return you to the offline screen. Adverts appearing before the content I want to see is really my favourite part of the internet. I can’t get enough of that.
AD’s expression – what is he thinking?
“How do I convince these empty chairs that we belong together?”
Blue State Digital my arse.
Craig Whyte IT services, more like – technology off the scale.
‘We Belong Together’ is pure Iceberg Slim/50 Cent pimp-talk.
Sad.
Better Together to come back as a newco: Better Thegether
Emradom
link to pattiann.com
although personally i prefer grass growing
link to watching-grass-grow.com
Join BT and exercise those thumbs!
One thing I noticed in the picture posted by the Rev, was the number of dark suit’s
Can only conclude that the man in the street in Glasgow likes to dress formally for these events
@ Sonas
Are you sure the capacity is 300? I can’t see how you could squeeze in 250 seats.
I’m not sure why Darling does these, its not exactly advancing the cause of TB. I mean who’s going to consciously decide to attend something like this? If he’s counting on his statesman-like image to draw folk in, I think he’ll be disappointed.
Its not exactly reaching out is it? It sounds more like an exercise in self-assurance than any thing else. It would be less boring if they all just congregated in a room, gave each other hugs and said ‘there there’.
What’s interesting is that no one gives a shit about what he has to say, we know the crap that comes out of his mouth already.
I’m not sure why Darling does these,
AD is trying to show the world that he is still relevant.
Flipper will go the same way as the original 1960s show bearing that name. You know, the one that noone watches?
You mean Flipper is dead?
What about Skippy?
AngusBMacNeilMP @AngusMacNeilMP
Scottish Press Pack being entertained by Tory/Lib Scottish Office in London for 2 days… if Scot Gov do that imagine the indignation lol
AngusBMacNeilMP @AngusMacNeilMP
About now Scottish Off ministers will be telling the Scot Press Pack (who the are entertaining for 2 days for 1st time ever) tall tales
AngusBMacNeilMP @AngusMacNeilMP 5h
@tartangladbach 2 days of Scot journalists paid for by UK gov a minister told me – none from Wales or NI – it will be in press soon
link to twitter.com
Holyrood hacks on tour, 9th July (from Alan Roden’s twitter)
link to 4.bp.blogspot.com
Left to right:
?, Hamish McDonnell, Colin Mackay (Bauer Scotland stations), Glenn Campbell (probably not)?, ?, ?, ?, ?, Alan Roden (Mail)?, Kieran Andrews (Courier)?, David Clegg (Record)?, Simon Johnson (Telegraph)
The one on the far left looks a bit like a porkier Ramsay Jones, UK Government Special Advisor for Scotland, but it probably isn’t, but could be.
Ramsay Jones to Kieran Andrews: “I’ll show you the others when I see you!”
link to twitter.com
Scottish Tory chief spin doctor Ramsay Jones suspended
link to bbc.co.uk
I wonder if Ramsay is the source mentioned in the English love-bombing story in today’s papers. He probably isn’t, but could be.
‘We Belong Together’ is pure Iceberg Slim/50 Cent pimp-talk.
Indeed, Ian. It also has a lot of the Orwellian about it (“we have always been at war with Eastasia…”) and, of course, the appeal to tradition (“we’ve been together 300 years, why break up now?”) and acceptance of the status quo (“change is scary.”)
Gah.
I’m not a Beatles fan, but this seems hugely appropriate.
He’s a real nowhere man,
Sitting in his nowhere land
Making all his nowhere plans for nobody….
National Collective reporting that the room was about half-empty (eyewitness account), so it looks like the 120 guess won’t be far off the mark.
We belong together.
That can be said in two ways. Once’s nice, about love. The other’s what the partner that’s just microwaved your bunny says after you’ve told them its over.
Both are just as weird and creepy in this context.
@Cameron
I’m not sure how it seats 300, but you can hire out the hall and accoriding to the official blurb the capacity is 300. I agree with the Rev’s estimate of 240.
I’ve heard that the place was indeed very busy – packed out with BT/local Labour etc. No shortage of them in Glasgow…
This is the venue. The BT photo is probably taken from the back of the audience, so someone can work it out
link to gla.ac.uk
“Both are just as weird and creepy in this context.”
And that’s before we get to Cameron calling for England to Lovebomb us whatever the hell that is. Sound like your bunny boiler if I can’t have you no-one can approach….
link to heraldscotland.com
we’ve been together 300 years, why break up now
We were apart for much much longer and life in Scotland was a lot better
@ Sonas
Strange one that. Perhaps there are seats we can’t count?
P.S. I don’t mean to be abrupt or picky, but could you please remember the B at the end. I added it to avoid confusion when we are all talking about Dave. Although I am unlikely to be confused with someone who considers North Korea to be a serious threat, lets be safe. Thanks.
link to guardian.co.uk
I watched an advert for Simple soap. These webcasts work because I went for a shower instead of waiting.
Ianbrotherhood,
snap!
My thoughts were, Sport the pimp (Harvey Keitel) in ‘Taxi driver’ creepily mumbling sexy sweet nothings into the ear of 14 year old hooker Jody Foster.
‘We belong together baby’
Charming!
We belong together
BetterNO have scooped the support of Pat Benatar! We are sunk.
@CameronB
Sure – apols. Just being lazy. Will remember the B. Certainly understand your keenness to avoid being confused with call-me-dave.
Er, he was speaking at 10.30 on a work day. Exactly who would be watching live?
Is this what they mean by “We belong together”?
link to youtube.com
@ Sonas
To be honest, I wasn’t bothered. Just though you offered a handy segue.
Looks someone stuck a Saltire behind Darling. Is that allowed?
Rev,
What make me laugh about that photo, is that it is captioned ‘An Incredible Turnout’
120 folk …incredible! What! God, things must be desperate for Bitter Together if 120 folk is incredible!!
“120 folk …incredible! What! God, things must be desperate for Bitter Together if 120 folk is incredible!!”
To be fair, it was in some remote, out-of-the-way wee village called Glasgow.
Alistair Darling is a guest writer in the Daily Record today
With a half page article, with large bold letters stating “We need to look after our friends in the South“….my question is havent we been doing that for 40 years now.
What’s the odds the Bitter Together lot, aided by the anti-indy press and media, will be desperately “downsizing” the September pro-indy gathering in Edinburgh? Remember how last year, they almost halved the estimated attendance, while at the same time claiming a “large” anti-indy counter demo, consisting of half a dozen or so youths in Rangers tops waving their Butcher’s Apron Union Flag? Incidentally, any sightings of the invisible quasi leaderene, Wee Johann – or is she still cowering in her soundproofed bunker?
I’ve dissected the full text of Darling’s document launched this morning in Captain Darling Tries to Polish the Turd.
Er, he was speaking at 10.30 on a work day. Exactly who would be watching live?
No one. Which nicely illustrates the judgement of the BT crew: a live webcast when no one would be watching. It must make you so proud.
Darling’s speech wasn’t meant for an audience, live or online. He gave it so that BBC Pacific Quay and the Scottish MSM could report it.
And they couldn’t even manage to pull off a live webcast. Perhaps Bond and M were right to head for Scotland?
In the absence of Captain D, please allow me to present the positive case for the Union.
It reminds me of that Chic Murray line: ”I went to see a show. It was so boring that six empty seats got up and walked out”.
@Cameron B
Very funny ..hahahahah!….good one..
Then again I suppose we’ve more chance of seeing a unicorn than Peter Brady….Aka Johann Lamont…in the near future.
@CameronB
The next scare story from BT?
“Independent Scotland won’t have unicorns.”
The University of Glasgow link gives the tiered theatre layout a maximum 301 capacity. And £930 for the hire alone, presumably more costs in travel, presentation, branding etc.
The twitter picture does suggest about 120 folk.
On that basis on rough cost per person, Alastair Darling would be cheaper just going round Glasgow saying ‘I’ll give you a tenner if you vote No!’. ‘Please??? What about twenty???’
Outright bribery would seem to be Better Together’s best remaining bet. After all, it worked in 1707. And they are a parcel of rogues in a nation.
I thought that the phrase sounded familiar….
Perhaps BT launched ‘Project Fear’ after discovering a rich seam of Kim Il Sung’s daily ablutions. I am sure he must have, even if I’m not sure there is a positive case to be made for the Union. Pity BT couldn’t deliver on their promise to communicate this most elusive of truths.
I wonder what flavour of jam it will be and when it might arrive?
@Roddy Macdonald (4.34)-
Appreciate your take on it as I’m pretty-much certain that I won’t view the event or read the transcript.
“…union, and devolution within it, safeguard Scotland’s interests and preserve our identity.”
So – that was the highlight then?
Oh dear.
Continuing with the pimp/hooker analogy suggested by that disturbing ‘We Belong Together’ slogan, the ‘devolution within union’ nirvana he offers sounds more like a pervert telling his gimp that he’s free to wander about the sub-basement during office hours. (Of course, being allowed outside is out of the question.)
Did anyone identify other ‘highlights’ worth pondering?
Isn’t it odd that the great leader of the positive better together campaign, tory (or is it labour-same thing) MP alistair darling can barely get double figures interested in a live broadcast and yet the Scotsman newspaper manages to get er, ‘39,000’ people to vote in favour of some ‘no’ campaign bollocks scotsman polls………………..overnight in about seven hours?
A lot more than their woefully continuously dwindling circulation figures?
Hmmmmm
Is this what they mean by “We belong together”?
Heh, maybe they’re going for the baby boomer crowd:
@Ianbrotherhood
One of the highlights for me was when Alistair waxed lyrical about ‘Britain’s NHS’ ( eh?)
and how this showed we all belonged together.
I just hope none of they nasty cybernats I’ve heard about, mention that Alistair has been getting paid a large wedge from a private health company that is promoting the privatisation of that very same NHS.
I wonder what flavour of jam it will be and when it might arrive?
Dry toast for you jocks and be grateful for it! (wee smiley thing)