Fair play to The National, the use of the word “HIS” in this banner on their front page today might be the single funniest thing ever printed by a Scottish newspaper.
Because everyone and his dug in Scotland knows whose strategy it actually is, and how many years Pete Wishart spent traducing it as nonsense and furiously venting his overworked spleen at anyone who advocated it – right up to the point where Nicola Sturgeon adopted it in a desperate last attempt to keep the indy faithful pushing the SNP gravy bus, at which point it became the greatest masterplan of all time.
But today’s piece in the indy equivalent of the Daily Express (albeit with only a tenth of the sales) is so jawdropping that we doubt even Robert Oppenheimer would be up to the job of putting a scorchmark on Wishart’s brass neck, so let’s spend five minutes having a look at it before we go out for a bit of sunshine.
The 16K ZX Spectrum was definitely the ginger stepchild of the family of micros that defined home computing in the UK in the 1980s. With far less memory available to coders (just 9K) than a 16K ZX81, the £125 cost of the entry-level model – shockingly the equivalent of £416 now – didn’t get you all that much bang for your buck when it launched, even by the standards of April 1982.
The vast majority of purchasers wisely chose to save up the extra £50 for the 48K version (£175, or a hefty £582 in 2023 money, although still peanuts compared to the Commodore 64’s launch price of £1,327 equivalent), and the 16K Speccy very quickly fell out of favour. In fact it was withdrawn from sale after barely over a year on the shelves, with old stocks cleared at £99.
(There are no official figures for how many of the 5 million Spectrums sold were 16Ks, but Home Computing Weekly reported in May 1983 that 300,000 machines in total were sold in the first year, and in August 1983 Popular Computing Weekly reported that the 48K had outsold the 16K by two to one, so we can make a reasonable guess at somewhere between 120,000 and 150,000 units of the 16K in the year and a bit it was on sale, or roughly 3% of all Spectrums.)
But even in its very brief life (the vast bulk of these titles were released in 1983), the 16K machine amassed a library of fun games that left the catalogues of many better-specced computers in the dust. And for no particular reason other than that 40 years have passed since it abruptly met its fate, we’re here to celebrate them.
So sit yourself down with one of the last cans of Lilt (or don’t, because it’s full of poisonous artificial-sweetener chemicals now), get ready to fondly remember a few old favourites, and hopefully also discover some lost gems for the first time.
Can you spot the subtle change between these two National stories, readers?
Now, as they’re both in The National the standard of journalism is obviously completely dreadful, and so neither of them actually explains their headline. Nobody is named or quoted even anonymously, and there’s no elaboration other than that “[a member of] the NEC appeared to halt any proposal to use the next General Election as a proxy constitutional vote”, with no indication of HOW they “appeared” to do that.
But they DO raise the question of where on Earth – whoever becomes its new leader – the SNP goes from the smouldering bomb crater that Nicola Sturgeon has left it in.
This one was quite hard to place. It’s almost certainly the slimmest game in this entire chart, offering just five stages of perhaps the simplest sport in existence without even the superficial novelty of different opponents.
On the other hand, if you’re going to execute something as exquisitely as this, how much does that matter?
80. CRYSTAL CASTLES Arcade: 1983, Atari Spectrum: 1986, US Gold
On first glance, Crystal Castles looks like an awfully big ask for the Spectrum.
A fast-moving, colourful, trackball-controlled game in a diagonal 3D perspective looks like an obviously impossible feat, so when you see what a mostly-fine job Andromeda Software made of it, it just makes it more annoying that the ship was substantially spoiled for a ha’porth of tar, in the shape of the almost total absence of sound.
Recently, just for fun and to pass the time now that I’ve retired from political journalism, I thought I’d compile a totally definitive list of the 100 best arcade conversions (both official and unofficial) on the ZX Spectrum, to mark 30 years since the original Your Sinclair All-Time Top 100, also compiled and written by me, was published in 1991.
(Phew, made it with eight hours of 2021 to spare.)
There’s a whole torrid story attached to the undertaking, but meh, some other time. Here’s the entirety of the chart in one place. It takes about a thousand years to load as a single page because YouTube is such a big whiny baby, so I’ve split it into five.
Writing about the Hate Crime Bill in the Herald today, Kevin McKenna summarises in a sentence a point this website has been making for many months.
Because the real question about the SNP’s sudden demented obsession with focusing the public’s attention on its most unpopular policies right before supposedly the most important election in its history isn’t “Why?”
Finally, after an astonishing four and a half days of “counting”, the SNP have released their candidate rankings for the regional list in this year’s Holyrood election. We’ll give you the results first, and then something much more interesting.
What puzzles many about the Alex Salmond situation is motive. It’s incredibly difficult for some Yes supporters to imagine any motive that could justify the awfulness of what Alex Salmond has been put through by his successor, and so they reject the whole idea of any sinister goings-on out of hand.
However, it’s far easier to understand what went on when you look at the personality of Nicola Sturgeon and her historical pattern of behaviour.
Because the core fact is that Sturgeon simply cannot bear to lose. She’s very single-minded, and doesn’t really adapt or regroup in the face of adversity. When events and new information make problems for her ideas and plans, she just keeps going – often creating more problems as she tries to force the plan back on track.
Sturgeon’s main priority – in common with most politicians – is to stay in power and to boost her own image and profile. We can look at some hot topics and her behaviour around them, and gain clear insights into what happened to Alex Salmond and why.
It’s the second sunny day in Bath since last September, readers, so we’re going to go out and feed the wildlife, but we thought you’d enjoy a quick roundup of some of the distractions the Sturgeonite elements of the Scottish media are punting today in a desperate attempt to avoid dealing with the devastating contents of Alex Salmond’s epic evidence session at the Fabiani inquiry on Friday.
It’s hard to keep up with developments in Scottish politics these days, readers. We told you January 2021 was going to be a pivotal and explosive month but there’s been more going on than even we expected, and that’s despite the fact that Alex Salmond and Nicola Sturgeon’s appearances before the Fabiani committee now both look like being pushed back to February.
So our apologies if we have to give some things rather more cursory coverage than they might ordinarily merit, or cram several stories into one post. For example, we’re just going to link you to solicitor advocate Gordon Dangerfield’s appearance yesterday on the Tommy Sheridan podcast, even though he said this non-trivial thing on it:
Tinto Chiel on The King And Queen Of Cringe: “Aye, Robert: AR’s comments and their frankness just remind you of the appalling state of milquetoast “journalism” here. These journalists…” Oct 12, 23:47
Young Lochinvar on The King And Queen Of Cringe: “Yup, like Useless earlier it’s tainted with ME ME ME, front and foremost. Should have just shown some humility and…” Oct 12, 23:38
Tinto Chiel on The King And Queen Of Cringe: “Wow! Ian: political dynamite. I don’t think I’ve seen Afshin so energised and brutally articulate on any subject (and fully…” Oct 12, 23:29
Robert Hughes on The King And Queen Of Cringe: “So from what Afshin says here Alex was in no doubt who the real * actors * behind his attempted…” Oct 12, 23:29
Callum on The King And Queen Of Cringe: “Margo, Winnie and now Alex never got to see Scotland regain its independence. It is up to us all to…” Oct 12, 23:20
SteepBrae on The King And Queen Of Cringe: “Desperately sad news. Condolences to Alex’s family. He really did inspire a generation and a whole people. I am sure…” Oct 12, 23:19
Ian Brotherhood on The King And Queen Of Cringe: “(11) Afshin Rattansi on X: “https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/svg/1f6a8.svgFORMER FIRST MINISTER OF SCOTLANDhttps://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/svg/1f3f4-e0067-e0062-e0073-e0063-e0074-e007f.svg ALEX SALMOND PASSES AWAY AT 69 My live segment on…” Oct 12, 22:38
Young Lochinvar on The King And Queen Of Cringe: “Yup. You can’t help but wonder where SHE who shall not be named is staying tonight. If she has any…” Oct 12, 22:21
Zander Tait on The King And Queen Of Cringe: “Even in death, the British main stream media continue to put the boot into the corpse of Alex Salmond. What…” Oct 12, 21:57
Kit Bee on The King And Queen Of Cringe: “‘I smell a rat’ yep I am sniffing that too. Too damned convenient.!!” Oct 12, 21:50
Tony on The King And Queen Of Cringe: “Absolutely gutted RIP Alex, Scotland’s Future in Scotland’s Hands ??????????????????” Oct 12, 21:49
Cynicus on The King And Queen Of Cringe: ““Alexander the Great dies in Macedonia.” ====== Brilliant, Breeks.” Oct 12, 21:48
Glenn Boyd on The King And Queen Of Cringe: “Lord Jack McConnell, Houmza Yousef and Nigel Farage are the latest “worthies” threatening to bring up our stomach contents…………..” Oct 12, 21:46
John Young on The King And Queen Of Cringe: “Like Mac this is so sad and terrible but like Mac I am fuckin angry … The people who steal…” Oct 12, 21:41
Young Lochinvar on The King And Queen Of Cringe: “I worry that you are completely correct in your assessment. God help us one and all. Also, I agree; a…” Oct 12, 21:40
Effijy on The King And Queen Of Cringe: “Craig Williams of BBC News produced a cover piece about Alex Salmond where he started out respectful but the as…” Oct 12, 21:29
Young Lochinvar on The King And Queen Of Cringe: “Amen to that, first thing my wife said was “it’ll have been a heart attack after all they’ve put him…” Oct 12, 21:25
Glenn Boyd on The King And Queen Of Cringe: “And here it is, a “tribute” from one Nicola Sturgeon: Former first minister of Scotland Nicola Sturgeon has called Alex…” Oct 12, 21:22
Andouilette on The King And Queen Of Cringe: “Your thought re: David Davis is identical to mine. I truly hope he steps up. it was obvious, even to…” Oct 12, 21:21
Mac on The King And Queen Of Cringe: “He did get us to the next level. They cheated us through the postal votes. That is why he is…” Oct 12, 21:18
Confused on The King And Queen Of Cringe: “he almost got us to the next level, where we should always have been when he was in charge, things…” Oct 12, 21:11
John Young on The King And Queen Of Cringe: “Thank you Robert for the wonderful words of McCaig, so apt for such a great man.” Oct 12, 21:10
Mac on The King And Queen Of Cringe: “Alex Salmond is Scotland’s first 21st Century martyr. First martyr in a long time. Look up the word, he fits…” Oct 12, 21:08